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welightthefire · 2 years

Text

Table For Two ~ Part Eight

In collaboration with @allieboop

Jake Kiszka x OC x Josh Kiszka

Summary: “What started out as a new job unexpectedly became something more for Sydney Baker. There’s only room at the table for two… How will she navigate her feelings and come to a decision? How can she choose between two sides of the same coin?”

Warnings: alcohol consumption, jealousy, angst, smut (oral f!receiving, fingering, hair pulling, little praise, safewording?)

Word Count: ~8k

taglist // playlist // masterpost

A/N: this is a big one… enjoy! we also made a playlist to match the vibes of this chapter specifically, so go give it a listen!

Part Eight

People filled the small living room and kitchen in Sam’s home as rock music pulsed through the speakers that were mounted in each corner. Some of the people Jake recognized as his younger brother’s friends from high school, others he had never seen before. Most of them gathered in small groups of three or four while a few others stood around the counter in the kitchen munching on whatever snacks Sam and Danny had set out earlier in the night. Abandoned half-empty red plastic cups littered the surface of the coffee table in front of him, even though it was still early in the night.

The hum of laughter became ambient noise as it blended in with the sultry sound of a guitar solo. Everyone wore drunken smiles on their faces as they laughed at one of Sam’s lame jokes or danced against one another to the music that pulsed throughout the house. Danny never strayed too far from Sam’s side as he had already started on his third beer of the night, having taken two rounds of tequila shots with his brothers before everyone had shown up.

The party was in full swing by the time Jake watched Syd walk through the front door. She had shown up late, surprisingly. With how excited she seemed at the proposition, Jake could only assume the reason for her timing was that she had spent her day anxiously obsessing over what time she should show up, what she would wear, or if she would even go at all. The familiar thumping bass of “White Room” filled his foggy brain, yet he couldn’t move from his spot on the sofa as he watched her small frame pause and scan the room full of people around her.

At that moment, Jake’s entire world fizzled into a haze as his eyes slowly traveled down from her bright emerald eyes to her bare shoulders where her dark locks fell in signature waves over the thin straps of her low-cut tank top. The hemline of her shirt dipped below the waist of her black denim skirt, a neat row of buttons joining two sides of the fabric together until they ended in the spot at the middle of her thighs. Her tanned legs were bare to the world, not an uncommon occurrence for her, but somehow more risqué in comparison to the pair of shorts she usually chose to wear. Her small feet donned those same dirty Vans that she seemed to wear everywhere, regardless of what she was getting up to.

In any other instance, Jake wouldn’t let his mind wander, but at that moment, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to unabashedly run his palms over the planes of her smooth skin, his calloused hands slowly moving against the soft warmth that would radiate from her flesh as she laid beneath him. What it would do to him to have her lust-filled doe eyes peer up at him through her long lashes, golden cheeks tinged pink with exertion. Indulging in that singular moment, he allowed himself to imagine her bare chest turning the same rosy shade as it shook with each trembling breath she would take in the midst of their adventure towards euphoria.

Syd’s eyes landed on Jake and the moment their eyes locked, hers lit up like a small child on Christmas Day. In his slightly inebriated state, he glanced down towards his lap, eliciting an annoyed groan. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, hoping she wouldn’t notice his predicament while she walked over to join him. He cleared his throat as she came over to sit in the seat beside him, the sweet aroma of her familiar vanilla perfume wafting up through his senses.

When Syd plopped down on the couch, her hand brushed along Jake’s, causing his breath to hitch in his throat. He couldn’t find the words to greet her, still lost in his trance caused by his acute attention to her beauty and his body’s not-so-subtle awareness of her proximity. Luckily for him, Syd took the incentive to strike up a conversation.

“Hey stranger,” she voiced, crossing her ankles over one another.

Jake took in a sharp breath and met her eyes once again. “H-hey Slip.”

A teasing smile perked up at the corners of her plump lips. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been sitting here all night.”

“Maybe I have.” Jake looked down at his fingers as they rubbed his kneecap through his torn jeans.

“Well, that’s boring.”

“Just because I’m not singing and dancing with a pool cue?” Syd covered her eyes as her head tilted back with an exasperated giggle. “I was waiting on you for that.”

“Oh, come on!” She exclaimed, amused that he had brought up that night at Green’s. She turned her body to face him. “That’s unfair!”

Jake shrugged as a jesting grin settled across his features. “I just didn’t wanna cramp your style.”

“You’re rude, and I need a drink already.”

“I can get you one,” Jake offered as he moved to the edge of his seat.

Syd put her arm out to stop him and copied his actions. “No, I’ve got it. I wanna say ‘hi’ to the others.”

Jake crossed one thigh over the top of the other and slumped back into the couch as she got up. He watched the easy sway of her hips while she walked towards where Sam and Danny stood in the kitchen. Despite how absolutely turned on he was by her presence, he found himself disappointed that she was leaving him so soon.

He sipped the whiskey in his plastic cup as he watched her leap up onto Sam’s back with a goofy grin on her face, causing him to stagger backward in his drunken stupor. Danny had managed to effortlessly wrangle the cup out of his friend’s hands, hoping to avoid any spills Sam would inevitably cause at some point during the night. Sam’s hands wrapped around the backs of her knees, holding her steady while she wrapped her arms around the front of his chest like a literal monkey on his back.

Her smile was contagious and Jake found himself fascinated by her casual exuberance, although she hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. The silly friendship she shared with his younger brother was put on display the more she spent time with Jake and the others. She wasn’t as quiet and reserved as she had been weeks before. Seeing her enjoy herself made his heart flutter. There was a part of him that wished he was the reason for the smile on her face just then, but to witness her joy from a distance shut down the idea of going into the kitchen at all.

As the time passed and drinks had been drunk, Jake noticed how easily Syd’s inhibitions had melted away. He wasn’t sober by any means, but the small woman could take one shot and be buzzing as if she had consumed an entire bottle of wine. After she had made her rounds to their friends and stumbled back to the living room, her cheeks rosier than when she had first left to mingle. There was a slight sheen of sweat glistening across her forehead. Jake noticed how she kept pushing her long hair back off her face absentmindedly and flicked the long strands back off her shoulders.

“Jakeee,” Syd whined, coming to a stop directly in front of him.

She was close.

Really close.

From where she stood, the outsides of her bare knees grazed the insides of Jake’s thighs in her swaying motion. She had taken it upon herself to pick his hand up, loosely, and intertwine their fingers as she swung their hands lazily back and forth. He focused on how soft her warm hand felt in his while his half-lidded eyes gazed up at her, that same drunken smile he had adored back when they first went out at Green’s plastered to her face. His heart swelled at the sight.

“Whaaaat,” Jake mocked, matching the same teasing tone Syd had just used.

“I’m bored.” She declared, her eyes falling in defeat for just a moment.

Jake chuckled at her despondent response. “We’re literally at a party right now.”

“Yeah,” she agreed before stating as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “and I’m bored.”

He squeezed her hand in his as his other gently ran down the smooth flesh exposed at the side of her thigh. Jake tried not to think about how perfectly delicate it felt compared to the rough calluses worked into his fingertips. Exactly as he imagined.

“I’m sorry, Slip.” He lowly muttered, looking deep into her eyes as if she was the only person in the room. For what it was worth, to Jake, she was.

Syd threw her hands up in the air, causing their fingers to separate. “Jakey, just come dance with me or something.”

Jake took a moment to consider the proposition. He wasn’t much of a dancer, to say the least. He had participated in a few group ensembles in high school and was a part of a dance team when he was a child, but since then, his focus was the guitar. He enjoyed sitting back with his eyes closed, headphones on, taking in the sultry whines of the strings as they were bent to form notes. That was how he got into the music. Writhing his body around in a group of people was not it for him.

“I’ve gotta…” Jake looked around the room, spotting his younger brother in the corner surrounded by a group of people. “I’ve gotta watch Sam.”

“What for?” Syd questioned. “He’s not doing anything cool.”

Both of them focused their attention on Sam who was talking animatedly with his free hand, a beer bottle gripped firmly in the other. “He’s drunk. You and I both know that he’s a danger to himself and others when he’s drunk.”

“Jakeee,” she whined out again. She dropped to her knees in front of him and leaned her arms on the tops of his thighs as she looked up at him. “He’s not even there yet.”

“Slippp,” Jake teased.

“One song,” she bartered.

Jake shook his head and bit his lip. “I’m watching Sam.”

“Just one?” Syd leaned her head on her palm and stuck her bottom lip out into a pout.

Jake looked away from her ungodly adorable expression and sighed. “Don’t give me that look.”

Syd popped her head up and swatted his arm, nearly missing in her drunken state. “Jake, I’m bored out of my mind and I want to dance!”

“What’s all the fuss about?” Jake looked up to see his twin standing over them with a beer in his hand and an amused expression on his face. Syd didn’t bother with responding, instead spinning herself around so she was sitting between Jake’s legs on the hardwood floor with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked over her shoulder at the long-haired man behind her, waiting for him to explain himself to his brother.

“She says she’s bored.” Jake gave a gentle poke to the back of her shoulder.

Syd rolled her eyes and looked up at Josh. “I want to dance, but he doesn’t want to.”

The older twin raised an eyebrow as he looked from Syd to Jake. “Why not?”

“He’s-” Syd started.

Jake cut her off. “I’m making sure Sam doesn’t make a fool of himself, okay?”

Unbeknownst to Syd who was distracted by Sam’s story in the corner, Josh pulled a face at the tone of Jake’s words.

Josh scoffed at his twin. “Well, while you play Babysitter’s Club, I’m gonna take the pretty girl out for a dance.” He offered his hand out to Syd. “If she’d like to, of course.”

Syd looked at Josh’s hand hesitantly. She had no need to question his motives, he had proven himself worthy of her time and attention, but she still paused before taking it.

Once she finally was back on her feet, she realized how his hand felt like velvet against hers. Maybe it was the alcohol in her system heightening her sense of touch, but his palm was warmer, softer than that day in the library. She also realized his usage of the term “pretty” to describe her, making her blush just barely.

It was enough that Jake still noticed, and it only made him feel more infuriated with his twin. He shot Josh a glare and then returned his focus to Syd. Her skirt had ridden up due to her crouching and kneeling, and as much as he shamefully enjoyed the sight, he tugged the fabric down for her. An act of possessive tendencies, one might say.

“We’ll be back once I’ve tired her out,” Josh said smugly, shooting a wink to no one in particular as he set his drink on the table beside Jake.

He watched as the two scurried off together, hand in hand and in a fit of drunken giggles.

As soon as they reached the others, they fell into a smooth rhythm of swaying hips and full laughter. Syd found it easy to let herself go with Josh, and she surprisingly wasn’t nervous at all.

Not even when he had grabbed ahold of her waist.

She even welcomed it, draping her hands on his shoulder with a smirk. The alcohol had completely pushed her inhibitions aside and let her enjoy the dancing she was so eager to conduct.

Throughout the first song, they had inched closer to one another. So close that his hands had transitioned to the small of her back, and hers had made a home in the curls along the nape of his neck.

He leaned in closer to her, indicating he wanted to say something over the loud rock music playing around them. She tilted her head to listen while they continued to dance.

“You look amazing by the way,” he called out to her. “Love this look on you.”

She could feel her cheeks turn pink, but her blushing was probably unnoticeable compared to the complexion caused by the alcohol. A soft giggle left her lips, and she held Josh close for a moment, a small hug as a ‘thank you’ for his compliment.

From afar, Jake watched the two, unblinkingly. He felt stupid for turning down Syd’s proposal, as it could be him that she was holding onto, but he figured it was best that he didn’t make a fool of himself tonight.

Instead, he watched, and watched, and watched. Throwing silent insults to his twin. Rolling his eyes any time he’d make Syd smile or laugh. Longing for her to giggle at his jokes instead.

“At least they’re bonding, right?”

Jake whipped his head to face the direction of the speaker, finding Sam propped casually against the side of the couch, drink in hand.

“When did you get here?” Jake asked with a scoff.

“Long enough to see you do that,” Sam said smugly, nodding at Jake’s hands.

He had been holding onto the plastic cup since it ran dry moments ago, but now, it was cracked and crumpled. Surely due to the jealousy that was running hot in his veins.

“But, like I said,” Sam professed. “At least they’re bonding.”

Jake rolled his eyes, letting them land on Syd and his twin again. They seemed to have shifted positions since the last time he saw them. Syd’s back was to Josh’s front, and his hands were gripping her hips tightly.

“They seem to be doing more than bonding, Sam,” Jake muttered, annoyed with his brother’s optimism.

Sam nudged his shoulder. “They’re drunk. And you are too.”

Jake shook his head, mumbling “Not drunk enough.” He looked at his empty cup, tracing his finger around the rim.

“You’re right. Go get another drink and get out of your head.”

Jake frowned at Sam, showing his disapproval of the proposition. He didn’t feel like getting up, and even if he did, he certainly didn’t want to lose sight of the duo dancing in front of him. Sam, however, grabbed ahold of Jake’s forearm and pulled him to a standing position.

“Go have fun,” he demanded, pushing Jake towards the kitchen’s large selection of alcohol. He finally conceded, turning his back completely to Josh and Syd, determined to drink at least a few more to ease his worries.

Syd could feel Josh’s breath on her neck. The hot, sticky air produced an expanse of goosebumps along her exposed skin. She could feel a chill shoot down her spine, but the heat of the moment warmed her right back up. The sensation was almost… intoxicating.

She reached behind her to hold onto his neck. She wanted to keep him in his current position for as long as she could get away with. She knew she shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as she was, but each of Josh’s gestures made her throw away all rationale.

She felt his head dip lower, and soon, she felt his lips on her neck. They stayed there, unmoving, testing her to see if she’d pull away.

But she didn’t.

She couldn’t help but let out a slight sigh at the feeling, totally new to both him and her. And that only made him do it again and again.

He chuckled before lifting his head to her ear again. “You like that or something?”

He was teasing her. She could hear his jesting tone, but she hated him for it. She hated how he could make her feel such a way, in such a short amount of time.

“Shut up,” she answered with a huff. She was only joking, too, but her response earned a small nip on her earlobe. He didn’t say anything, only laughing at the reaction he had gotten from her.

By the third song, their movements had become out of sync and sloppy, but they both were enjoying it much more than they had anticipated. Josh held her tightly against him, and she noticed the slight bulge in his pants, but she didn’t dare say anything about it.

She used the small amounts of friction to her advantage, and him kissing, biting, and sucking on her neck only added to the wetness in her panties. She only became aware of what she was doing when one of Josh’s hands slipped into her shirt while the other teased the hem of her skirt that had been riding up all night.

Her dancing slowed, and suddenly, the music seemed much too loud. She needed to stop herself before she let things go any further than they had already progressed.

She covered Josh’s hands with her own before she turned around to face him again. His lips had turned a shade pinker from being attached to her neck for so long.

“I-I’ll be right back,” Syd stammered. Josh wasn’t given a moment to respond before she rushed off, disappearing into the sea of people in the house.

Through the buzzing sensation of nerves and lust, she was barely lucid enough to realize she had entered the familiar space of Sam’s bathroom. The air seemed too thick in her nostrils, and the closed door felt much too cold against her clammy palms. She couldn’t even lie to herself and say that she had a valid reason for coming here, other than to simply try to calm herself down.

She had never been that close to Josh before. Hell, it had been a while since she was that close to anyone. She had in no way planned or prepared for something so… intimate to occur.

The closest thing that compared was that night at Jake’s, being cuddled up together under the pillow fort he had spent the time putting together. But even that night still hadn’t been as intense as this.

No, this happened fast. It was messy. Certainly not rushed, but nowhere near being deliberate. It hit her like a brick wall, and she had trouble deciphering the pure passion that had been laced in such a short span of time.

Everything with Jake had been gentle, thought out in a careful and cautious way. She liked him.

So why the hell did she let things go as far as they did with his twin?

She wondered if anyone had noticed her essentially sprint to the privacy of the restroom. She wondered if Jake had noticed.

The realization of her leaving him alone made her sick to her stomach with guilt. He had been the main reason she even came to the party. Aside from knowing the other brothers and being good friends with them, she had been looking forward to another reason to see Jake. She just wanted to dance. A single dance before she returned to him. But now she left him out there, and who knows if he even knew where she was.

Though, as much as she tried to focus on Jake, she couldn’t get Josh out of her mind. His hands gripping her waist. His lips leaving sloppy kisses on her neck and cheeks. His teeth nibbling on her earlobe to punctuate any flirty comment he tossed her way. The feeling of delicious friction she was ashamed to enjoy.

Somewhere in the middle of reimagining it all, she found herself breathless and weak all over again. She tried fanning herself to lower the temperature of her warm and flushed cheeks, but her hands alone couldn’t work fast enough. She instead opted to pat her face with cold water.

Just as she thought she could feel the heat stall in the area, she heard a knock at the door.

And before she could answer and say the room was occupied, the door was being inched open, and the sounds of the party’s roaring commotion flooded into the small space. She instantly regretted not locking the door behind her when she had rushed in.

She sighed and turned around, preparing to shoo the stranger off so she could continue quelling her flustered state. But once she faced the door, she was met with the very man who had caused the flurry of feelings, both emotionally and physically.

“Josh,” she breathed. The word was fruitless, destined to produce no conversation of substance, but it was all she could manage. She just hoped that she didn’t look as frantic as she was feeling.

Through the loud chatter that bounced against the walls of the bathroom, Syd heard Josh’s gruff response of “Hi.” He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, and his eyes seemed to darken as they watched her with a curious expression.

She knew he would leave if she told him to, and she knew he’d never block her path if she said she wanted to exit the room, but she felt trapped. She felt as if the walls were closing in, and she had absolutely nowhere to go. She was stuck in this situation, with Josh.

Yet, at the same time, the distance between them felt entirely too much, especially considering how close they had been just moments prior. She wanted to be that close to him again. She needed to be close to him again.

“I came to check on you,” he started.

“Oh.” She had to break eye contact, but she couldn’t let herself look away from him completely. She watched him bring his left hand to his face, smoothing out his facial hair in an attempt to have something, anything to occupy himself with. As she watched the veins and muscles flex, thoughts of that same hand running up and down her sides filled her mind. She could almost feel his fingers kneading the skin, taking the chance of sliding under the hem of her tank-

“Are you okay?” Josh’s voice interrupted her thoughts and made her come out of her daze. She could tell there were still remnants of alcohol in her system by how easily she could zone out into her own little world, but she was well on her way to being painfully sober.

“Yeah!” The word fumbled out of her quickly. Too quickly. “I’m sorry I left like that. I just-“

“Did I do something wrong?” He positioned himself against the wall in front of her, tucking his hands behind his back and leaning cooly against the tiled wall. She hated him for how calm he seemed.

She knew she heard him correctly. Loud and clear, even. With his hands out of sight, she had nothing else to focus on other than his words. But the idea that he thought he had any fault in this situation dumbfounded her. “Huh?”

“Out there,” he nodded towards the other room, as if she needed any clarification as to where they had just come from. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No, not at-“

“You ran in here. I just wanted you to have a good time, but I understand if I did too much. I’m really s-”

“Josh, no. You didn’t.” If she could just find the right words. If only she knew how to sum up everything she was thinking. Feeling. “It just happened really fast.”

He seemed amused with her response. Laughing in a low, soft hum that made Syd’s ears prickle. ”It did, didn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she huffed. “Yeah, it did.”

There seemed to be unspoken words that were visible to them both. Written in the space between them, on the walls around them, in the mirror that reflected their figures. By the time she had mustered the courage to look back into his eyes, his gaze had become much more sultry. It resembled how he seemed when they were dancing together. Wanton. Full of desire and almost lacking control. Almost. They spent time staring at each other while the constant noise of the party filled the silence between them.

“But, Josh, I-” She started again, hoping that this time, she could let her thoughts flow. She’d blame it on the alcohol if things went south. She was determined to talk about this with him, tell him everything that had been on her mind all night, maybe even before then. But that’s far from what happened.

“I-'' She noticed Josh moving slowly from his spot. He wasn’t too far away- as the bathroom wasn’t obnoxiously big- but he was getting closer. Closing the distance between them as if she were his prey, and making her stammer over her words.

“You what, Sydney?” He challenged, never missing a step or taking his eyes off of her.

It seemed unnecessary for her to continue with her thought. By this point, it seemed obvious that Josh knew what was going through her mind. He could read her expressions, her body language. He had been doing it all night. Detecting each hidden desire and need, wracking them of their worth, and giving them to her as if she hadn’t been the only one craving the contact. He knew how he made her feel, even before she knew it herself. Yet she still continued, “I liked it.”

He smirked down at her, grin only growing when her breathing shuddered. He took it a step further to latch his hand to her hip once more, knowing that it would make her breath hitch in her throat. “Only liked it?”

Syd closed her eyes, relishing in the way he touched her. “Josh.”

His name leaving her lips in such a way made his control falter that much more. “Tell me what you want.”

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t form a single coherent thought. Especially not with his hand reaching around to her back, pulling her in closer to him. She could only wrap her arms around his neck - giving herself the excuse that she needed to steady herself - and sigh into the touch Josh was blessing her with.

Syd was no longer pressed against the hard surface of the ceramic sink behind her. Josh had pulled her completely against him, and his hand was dropping lower, lower. She heard herself whimper at the feeling of him grabbing the swell of her ass. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck out of mild embarrassment.

“Sydney,” he warned, reminding her that she hadn’t followed his directions. “What do you want?”

She exhaled against his neck, too drunk off of the situation rather than the amount of alcohol she had consumed. Before she could rationalize it, she began leaving countless kisses along the skin, sucking and licking absentmindedly across the expanse. “You,” she whispered.

His grip on her ass became harsh, making her moan against him. His other hand snaked into the hair at the nape of her neck, tugging just enough to disconnect her lips from him.

When she looked into his eyes, she could still see that collected demeanor that he had owned all night. But as she looked deeper, she could see something more. Something she was unfamiliar with but was curious to explore.

“What do you want from me?”

Josh’s eyes bounced around every detail of Syd’s face, spending an insurmountable time on her lips. She wanted to watch his every move. She wanted to see him take in the sight of her forever. She liked the way he looked at her, and she loved the way he touched her. She couldn’t get enough.

He was about to open his mouth again, probably to scold her for not answering him quickly enough, when she finally got the courage to speak. “All of you,” she started. “Fuck, Josh.”

Her answer must not have been good enough, as he didn’t move. Didn’t speak. He just looked down at her quivering frame, observing her and smirking.

“Fucking kiss me,” she demanded, growing frustrated with how precise he needed her to be.

But with that, his control disappeared.

In a split second, Josh had lifted her to the sink, bringing her completely to his level. His lips were on hers in an instant, desperate and frenzied, yet gentle in every way. They were smooth, and they tasted like beer and whatever sweet, syrupy drink he had been sipping on throughout the night. They were intoxicating.

His hands had reached even further past the hem of Syd’s tank, which was riding up her ribs with each passing second. Josh’s hands were splayed on the exposed skin of her back, holding her as if she were bound to dissolve from his grasp. His fingers were kneading into her flesh, almost possessively, and she wondered how it had taken them so long to get to this moment.

At some point, she had wrapped her legs around his waist, enabling much more friction than she originally had on the dance floor. The action had caused her skirt to ride to her upper thighs, leaving little modesty but allowing closer proximity. Her arms were still wrapped around his neck, fingers laced in his hair as she held his face to hers.

Josh’s tongue swiped across her bottom lip, eliciting a soft gasp from her before she permitted entrance. He licked into her mouth and deepened the kiss. They spent time there - exploring each other’s mouths, living in the moment of passion, together - with little hurry to their movements and gestures.

One of his hands had traveled down to her thigh, and he took note of how high her denim skirt had slid up the skin. He grabbed the underside of her knee and tugged her to the edge of the sink, one hand still on her back to hold her as he pushed himself closer to her. Syd moaned into his mouth at the feeling and began to absentmindedly grind against the rough fabric of his pants.

To her dismay, Josh detached his lips from Syd’s and tucked his head into her neck. She could feel him letting out warm puffs of air on the skin, panting at the sensation of her rubbing against him. It wasn’t long before his mouth was back on her, this time sucking and licking on the exposed areas of her neck, shoulders, and chest.

For a moment, her mind slipped back to Jake, wondering what he was doing right now. If he missed her. If he was looking for her. She felt guilty. Especially since she was enjoying this much more than she had anticipated.

But just as quickly as he had entered her thoughts, Josh delivered a deliciously harsh bite to her neck, making her squeal out and forget about anyone other than the man in front of her.

She needed more. She was losing herself in Josh’s touch, and she wanted, needed more.

Without much thinking, she removed her arms from Josh’s neck, grasping ahold of the thin fabric of her tank top and lifting it above her head.

In any other context, she’d feel extremely self-conscious about herself, much too aware of how exposed she was. At the diner, her work clothes would sometimes show a little too much skin, and she’d immediately work to cover herself until she was comfortable. She’d tug and pull against the garments all day if she felt they were a little too revealing. But not now.

This was different.

Josh was looking at her as if she was perfection itself. His pupils had widened, his dark gaze silently drinking in every bit of her image. He didn’t want to look away, and she didn’t want him to either.

His eyes flickered back up to hers, briefly locking eye contact as if he were asking permission for something. His brown eyes glistened when she nodded, unsure of what she was agreeing to but eager to see what he had in mind.

Both of his hands fell back to her thighs. His thumbs rubbed against the soft skin, comparing it to the coarse denim she had around them. What he’d give to be able to do this all the time, touch her in every way she deserved. What he’d do to have her like this in the privacy of his own home. To have her.

Perhaps after tonight, he would.

She brought her hands back up to his chest and traced the hem of his collar. She could sense he was thinking about something. The moment had stalled, transpiring into something more than an act of passion and mutual pining. But she couldn’t read it. All she knew was that she needed his lips back on her in any way he’d allow.

Syd grabbed handfuls of his shirt and pulled him closer, not caring how wrinkled she would leave the cotton. His lips had become plumper since the last time he kissed her, swollen from the constant contact, but they still fit perfectly against hers.

It wasn’t long before he was working his way down her chest again, this time letting himself linger at her breasts. His large hands squeezed and grabbed at her through her bra, making her sigh and whisper incoherent phrases.

He bent down to kiss along her stomach, nipping at the skin. He was pleased to see the beautiful stretch marks and wrinkles that made her her. She was the most beautiful thing to him, and he didn’t want this opportunity to go to waste.

Lastly, he squatted to kiss along her thighs, starting at the top and inching closer to the insides. He held her knees open to allow him the necessary space to work with.

Syd looked down at him, running her fingers through his curls while he worshiped her body for all of its worth. She watched him get closer to where she wanted him most and sighed each time he’d tease her.

His hands traveled from her knees back up to her thighs, massaging the muscles underneath. He gripped onto the denim and pushed it up further, holding the fabric at her navel while he left small marks and bruises along the inside of her legs.

She saw his eyes peer back up to her before she felt him lightly trace her clothed heat. He was watching, waiting to see if she had any restraint left, eager to see her fall apart at his touch.

Which is what she did.

A single swipe of his thumb against her clit made her sigh, her posture faltering by the second.

What had once been reserved for herself, something she did in the privacy of her own room, she was now sharing with Josh. She was letting him see her at her most vulnerable, and that excited and frightened her.

Josh’s touch had been rough all night, clingy and possessive. But now, he was touching her like she was glass. A sculpture made of the most precious material, only presented for others to gawk at rather than physically handle. His kisses felt like the butterflies had abandoned the confounds of her belly, landing on her thighs in the most delicate manner. And again, she found herself wanting more.

Again, she sighed his name, this time barely nudging his face towards her core as she did so. He stalled his movements, finger slowing but never stopping completely, and he looked up at her again, privy to what she had been trying to do.

“You’re sure?” He asked, already moving to get on his knees and relax into a more comfortable position for the task.

She nodded, and Josh noticed her bottom lip disappear between her teeth. Despite his eagerness, she was afraid that he’d decline the request, and worrying her lip seemed to be the best outlet for rejection.

Yet when he buried his face in between her thighs, her lip was released, mouth forming into a perfect ‘O’ when a loud moan exhaled out of her. He had pushed her panties to the side, foregoing the grueling process of taking them completely off, and was lapping away at her as if she was his last meal.

Her head was thrown back, legs wrapped around Josh’s neck, thighs squeezing him closer, deeper. Her fingers had become lost in his hair from tugging and pulling against the locks, eliciting low groans from his mouth.

She looked down at him while he worked, finding that he was already peering back up at her. His eyes were wide as he tried to absorb everything about the situation, copy it to memory before it was over. His eyebrows had scrunched together as if he were asking her something, questioning if he was doing well by a simple expression.

She smoothed his hair away from his forehead, tucking some behind his ears as best as she could. He was looking at her with such earnestness that made her heart melt. His gaze was oddly familiar, much too similar to…

Jake.

She could see their similarities now. Eye color and shape. The slope of their noses. Cheekbones and facial structure. The comparisons were undeniable, but she hated herself for thinking of their relation at such a horrible time.

She had to look away, too ashamed of herself to look in Josh’s eyes, but she attempted to cover up her bubbling anxiety with a half-forced moan.

As if he took the noise as a sign, Josh pulled away from her, and before she could open her eyes to see what had caused him to stop, his lips smashed against hers. She could taste herself on him, and oh how she’d love to stay this way forever.

But thoughts of Jake still ran rampant in her mind, and she couldn’t focus on anything other than that. Not Josh’s lips on hers. Not how they traveled from her cheek to her jaw. Not how two of his fingers had slipped inside of her. Nothing.

Just Jake.

She could imagine it was him instead. She could think of all the nights she had slipped her own hand into her panties and pretended it was Jake. She could think of that night at his house and imagine what all could’ve happened.

But how unfair was that to Josh?

“You’re close, aren’t you?” He whispered, his breath hot against her ear. She was, and she could feel herself fluttering against his fingers, but she just couldn’t focus. “You can let go.”

She swallowed and tried to gather her shaky breath. “I- I can’t-“

“You can,” he promised. A soft kiss was placed at the corner of her eye, a gesture that would’ve calmed her in any other situation. “You’ve been so good for me all night. You can.”

His fingers curled inside of her. “Josh-“

“Come on, baby.”

Images of Jake flashed through her mind. His smile, how his eyes and nose crinkled when he laughed, his rosy cheeks after working the grill. Him holding and playing his guitar. Him sitting across the table from her while they both rolled silverware. Him sitting, alone, on the couch just on the other side of the bathroom door.

“Josh stop,” she demanded, immediately making him stop all movements. She could feel tears pricking her eyes, but she was unsure what had caused them. She finished her thought with another pathetic “I can’t.”

He removed his fingers from her and readjusted her underwear back in place. “Did I…did I do something wrong?”

He seemed much too far away now. He had barely moved away from her, only putting enough distance between them so she could breathe without feeling crowded, but the distance seemed too much. He looked hurt, and Syd could only imagine that he was disgusted with her.

“N-no,” she promised. and she meant it. Josh had done absolutely nothing wrong. She could only blame herself.

“Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head, willing the tears to go away before they fell. “No. That’s just-“ she paused, looking for the right words to say. “That’s not how I wanted things to happen.”

Josh looked confused, almost skeptical of her reasoning.

“Ya know,” she tried again. “Drunk and in my best friend’s bathroom and all.”

He nodded, soaking in her words and accepting them. He agreed. Their first time together was something he had dreamt about. Something he wanted to do right. But he had gotten ahead of himself, too eager to think rationally.

“I guess we should… go,” he muttered.

She nodded and slowly dropped off the edge of the sink. He watched as she bent down to smooth out her skirt, rubbing over the wrinkles from where he had been holding the fabric up. She spotted her tank top that had been tossed to the side carelessly, and she hurried to pick it up and put it back on.

“Can’t forget that,” Josh attempted to joke, hoping to lighten the mood. She barely chuckled, and even then, he knew it was forced.

He watched her in the mirror while she inspected her clothes, making sure there wasn’t a trace of what had occurred just moments prior. She fixed her hair, twisted and turned any misplaced garment, and prepared to step back out into the busy living space.

“I’ll wait behind for a bit,” he said. She had already reached for the doorknob, but she paused once he continued speaking. “So it doesn’t look… weird.”

Syd gave him an apologetic look, nodding and taking a deep breath before she opened the door and returned to the party.

The change in atmosphere was off-putting, but she was glad to finally get back to Jake. She needed to be back with him so her guilt would subside. She needed to forget about what just happened with Josh.

When she made her way back to the sofa where Jake had been before she started dancing, she found an empty cushion. There was a variety of empty beer cans and plastic cups strewn about the table beside his spot, but he was nowhere in sight. She sighed to herself, accepting defeat and wishing she had never left in the first place.

“There you are!” She heard someone shout behind her.

She turned around to see a very wobbly Jake prance to her. There was a goofy grin plastered on his face, rosy cheeks adorning his features.

He wrapped his arms around her in an impulsive, tight hug. She could smell the countless types of liquor he had indulged in, all of them mixing together to create a distinct, intoxicating smell. As much as she missed his touch, this just felt wrong. She had hoped seeing him would ease her worries and make her emotions go away, but they were only increased from his presence.

“I couldn’t find you anywhere, Slip,” he yelled, forgetting that his face was right next to her ear. She winced, but his carelessness made her chuckle lightly. “Where’d you go?”

He detached from her but held her at arm’s length, inspecting her. She was glad she spent so long readjusting her clothes; even in his inebriated state, he’d be able to figure out her previous activities with the intensity of his stare.

“T-the bathroom,” she answered, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to notice that she was withholding the full truth.

He didn’t seem to hear her, much too focused on what he was going to say next. He pulled her into yet another hug and sighed happily. “I missed you so, so, so much.”

His words brought a smile to her face, but just as she was about to say it back to him, she caught eyes with someone from across the room.

Josh was standing beside Danny, carrying on some conversation while they both sipped from their beers in hand. He looked normal, as if nothing between them had transpired, but he was watching her intently while he listened to the man beside him.

She gave him another look, trying to pass on a message of sorrow with her eyes. She had already felt bad about stopping his actions, but now she felt even dirtier for looking at him while she was in the arms of his twin. But he didn’t accept her apologetic gesture. Instead, he visibly scoffed and looked away from her, completely focusing on whatever Danny was saying.

“Guess what,” Jake said excitedly as he pulled away again, bringing Syd’s attention back to him. He held both of her hands in his and squeezed.

She was waiting for him to continue, but when she didn’t respond, he shook her arms haphazardly. “You’ve gotta guess.”

She rolled her eyes with a grin, saying “What? You’ve had too much to drink?”

“No!” He exclaimed defensively, as if it was the most absurd thing she had ever said. The action further proved her point. “I’m ready to dance now!”

“Jake, I don’t know-“

“Didn’t you wanna dance?” His voice was whiny, and he was pouting like a child. He started to shake her arms even more, simulating the action of dancing.

“Yeah, but-“

“Then come on!” He tugged against Syd’s wrists, trying to pull her closer to the center of the living room.

He was halted when Sam came up behind him, putting a hand on Jake’s chest to pull him away from Syd.

“Jake, what did I say about annoying my guests?” Sam shot a playful wink to Syd as he scolded his brother.

“I’m not!” Jake defended, still pouting. “I just want to dance with the pretty girl! Slip, you wanna dance with me right?”

She blushed at his compliment, but remembering those same words coming from Josh earlier in the night made her anxiety rush back again. The guilt was unavoidable.

Sam looked at her briefly, noticing her standoffish body language before he looked back at his brother. “I think ‘pretty girl’ needs another drink, Jakey. How about we go get her one?”

Surprisingly, Jake nodded. His pout never faded, but he allowed Sam to drag him away by his forearm while he threw phrases over his shoulder. Some about how he’ll miss her while he’s gone, others about how she didn’t need to move because he was coming right back. She forced a smile at his intoxicated goofiness. But she couldn’t help but still feel icky from Josh’s touch.

Syd needed this night to be over with.

—

part 9>>>

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