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ubemango · 3 years

Note

*gregorian chant* breeding kink c*m inflation kink breeding kink c*m inflation kink breeding kink c*m inflation kink bree

In another universe pups is the ABO fic I never wrote HJDHJDSHJDSHJHJFHJFSD OK so anyway I won’t lie I had to google what cum inflation was and when I saw what I saw.... yes. Ok. It got my brain gears going *rusty noise of gears turning* U know what I mean??? So i was thinking..... ***NSFW WARNING

You see hentai on Namjoon’s laptop one day. You’ve mastered the art of nonchalance, though. So when he comes back from the bathroom and gives you a smile—as if you haven’t gotten a peek into Things That Turn Namjoon On That Don’t Include You—you breathe an internal sigh of relief. Safe.

Except you’ve stopped taking notes and now all you can think about is Namjoon watching porn so brazenly on his laptop. Where he does schoolwork of all places! He could at least just use his phone. Also you’re just a teensy bit wet because cartoon boobs and dick is still conducive to horny hours, even if you are doing something as unsexy as critical writing.

Your study date ends with a simple kiss on the lips because Hoseok’s home this time and you’d rather not taint the living room space while he’s occupying the apartment too. Namjoon slips in a little bit of tongue though, because he’s cheeky like that.

You text Namjoon right when you get home. You lie and say you’re going to sleep early, with the excuse that you have to wake up early for a meeting with your advisor. And when he sends you his good night text, you get to it. Getting ready for bed, turning your night light to the colour red once you’ve settled in.

You have sleuthing to do.

Because the hentai wasn’t just... well there’s no regular hentai, is there? It’s just. There. Being hentai. And what’s Namjoon without an inclination for messy pussies because of—because of—

You close your eyes tight because you can’t believe what you’re about to type into the search bar on your phone.

But first!

Incognito. Whew. The shame of clearing your history would be too much to bear. So when you press enter on cum inflation it isn’t so bad. Especially when all the X-rated websites pop up and your screen just becomes Anime Boobies Galore when you click the first link.

You can’t believe Namjoon had the gall to just leave that website up there on his screen. You’re scrolling down the page and already you’re feeling hot. And it isn’t even because of the fact that you’re skimming through videos of perfect girls getting so cummed up their stomachs literally become distended. Nor is it the thought of Namjoon watching it and enjoying it, either. Rather...

Was he thinking of you when he was watching these videos? Bending your knees up over your shoulders and promising you that he’s saved up all his cum for you? Getting you to drool down your chin, cross-eyed?

(Your hand is down your panties at the third video you come across. You come pretty hard when you see the girl’s pussy literally spew semen from how hard the guy comes inside her. And when you reach post-orgasm clarity you immediately exit the browser, chuck your phone onto the floor, and hope to god sleep overtakes you within twenty seconds.)

The next time you meet up for another study date with Namjoon is the weekend. That’s a good three nights of jacking it off to the same video of a huge dongle fucking a good five buckets of semen inside his girlfriend. And when you settle all your notebooks and laptop down, you immediately go for the kill.

“Do you like anime boobs?”

Namjoon chokes on the water he’s drinking from his bottle. “I—ahem. What, uh... what brought this on?”

“I’ve been watching a lot of hentai so I thought I’d ask,” you clarify.

“Uh-huh,” he says incredulously.

“And you know, it’s just—I liked it. A lot. You know. Just for your information.”

Namjoon blinks. “Are you trying to get at something here?”

“Because I don’t really mind, you know. Porn is porn. And you can like whatever you want. Like as long as it’s nice and consensual,” you ignore him.

“Babe.”

“Like I would never make fun of you because I’m—well I’ve watched Grinch porn before but that was against my own will—“

“Baby,” Namjoon laughs, squishing your cheeks to stop your rambling. “What’s going on?”

“I like h’ntai,” you try to articulate with his hands still keeping your lips pressed in like this.

“I get that. But why?”

Oh god. You don’t even know what you want from this conversation. Maybe the guilt of catching him has caught up to you. Or maybe you also just want to have a distended stomach from having Namjoon bust a fat load inside you.

You take his hands from your face, clutch at them for support. “I saw... Um. What you were watching. The other day.”

“Ah.” You watch Namjoon’s ears turn red. He squeezes your hands right back. “You—damn. I’m sorry.”

“No—!” You clear your throat when it warbles. “N-No... it’s... well I...”

You feel his thumb rub comfort into your skin. He looks like he’s getting ready for a scolding. So when you say, “I actually really liked it and I’ve been watching it every night,” in one breath, Namjoon blinks.

And blinks.

After a solid sixteen seconds of silence, he says: “That’s really hot.”

You both stare at each other. The notebook you laid out for notes sits quietly, waiting.

“You wanna go to your bed—?”

Namjoon nearly dislodges your shoulder when he pulls you up to stand. “Yes we’re going right now.”

Something you’re really thankful for when it comes to Namjoon is how compatible you two are. You can’t count how many times you’ve both just looked at each other, no words to say, but somehow still completely on the same page. It’s like you both have the instinct of the other person ingrained in the part of your brain that deals with intuition.

You’re pretty keen on foreplay most days, but even Namjoon sees you’d rather rip your hair out than not immediately go for the feeling of his dick ramming inside you right at this very second. He laughs when you strip in record time, laying supine on the bed while he undresses.

“What’s gotten into you?” As if he’s not hard himself. He crawls over you with kisses warm on your belly, your breasts. “I have to admit. I really just wanted to fuck today.”

“Oh thank god,” you sigh. You knew something was up the second you realized Hoseok wasn’t home. He probably sexiled himself. You remind yourself to buy him dinner one day for his noble deed. “Just—I’m wet. I think. I just want you inside me, please.”

Namjoon groans. “You’re dangerous.”

“I watched hentai for three nights straight, I’m horny,” you whine in correction.

“You wanna know something? Please don’t laugh.”

“What?” Oh you’re wet alright. Namjoon lines his cock at your hole, slides tight inside. “O-Oh—what?”

“I kind of. I haven’t jacked off since the last time we met,” he says, voice tight. “Thank god you watched that shit because I probably sound crazed right now.”

“Huh?”

He grinds up till his hips meet your ass, and you shiver when the tip of his cock hits just right. “I—I wanted to save my cum for you,” he admits, sweating at his neck, and something clicks inside you, because you were right.

“I thought—about that too—ngh!”

Namjoon fucks you steady now. No more shy thrusts like he always starts off with to gauge your mood. He knows you want it. “Shit. About what, baby?”

“You. A-And... making me full... of you.”

“Oh my god.” He grabs your thighs, opening you wide. Takes a thumb to your clit like he’s on a mission. “Will you come with me? Can you do that?”

Holy fuck you’d do anything for him. So you nod, moaning with every hard thrust he gives you. Your legs threaten to close when he rubs you raw, but he commands with a low voice:

“Open, pups.”

Embarrassingly, that does it. He’s never one to order you around. And knowing he’s purposefully saved you his cum like it’s Christmas come early, you know better than to hinder the process.

Your legs shake when you open wider, feeling the warmth of his cock tenfold. “I’m close,” you cry when he slams into you.

“Feel it here?” He slides a sweaty palm to your abdomen. “Gonna give it to you right there. Make you so full. So pretty. All—mine—!”

You don’t even know if that was your signal. But the thought of him swelling you up like that girl on your screen, her womb so full with cum and promise—

“Joonie!” You shriek, toppling right into red-hot pleasure, clutching at the sheets because it’s too much. You come in waves, and Namjoon rides it with you, bucks into you with one last groan. You feel it, feel his excess warmth coat your insides just like he’d told you, and you pretend you feel your stomach balloon for more space. He rubs a grateful hand on your stomach.

“My little cum dump,” he coos tiredly, and you slap his arm with a laugh.

“Don’t pull out yet.” You slide your arms around his shoulders, bringing his tired form onto you. “Keep me plugged in.”

He laves at your neck. “Oh so now I’m out of line when I say weird shit.”

“I never said it was weird,” you whisper. “I’ll happily house all your semen.”

“Oh my—pfft. Ok. You know what? Show me that video you were watching, I need to know what’s got you like this,” he snorts, and you promise to do it later. You’ll just keep him like this for a little while.

#bts smut #namjoon smut #bts scenarios #ubemango fic #f: pups series #d: pups series

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everythingthemoontouches · 3 years

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Hiii Jahn!🌙 I’m just a new follower. I discovered you while searching for D9 asks. I was amazed by your in-depth explanation on each placements. 🤍 I’d like to send in my D1 & D9 charts also for future spouse reading to understand more about it.Thank you so much!!🤍 Please take your time. I’ll patiently wait. 💕 Hoping you’ll have a lovely day/night! 🌹

Hello there

This, my love has been a longtime coming. First off I'm gonna introduce you to an intuitive read and then present it in a more formal, bulleted manner. You seem to ha e chosen quite a challenging path in this lifetime. Props to you for bravery. And a hug + some tea to help you brave it 💕 your life could be a beautiful movie on love, healing, growth, spirituality and personal power.

Future BAE seems to be stable, practical reliable with service being his love language. He is down to grow together, and help you walk in your power.

Taurus rising.

Scorpio 7th house. + Pluto + moon.

Wow. Lots of shadow work involved when it comes to close personal relationships. You need to turn that critical eye inwards.

Untill you work at managing or integrating your inner child issues, any partners you end up with will continue to trigger you. At its best, this is someone who helps you work through your feelings. Breakdown. Confront reality. Breakdown and rebuild yourself stringer than ever. A hades and persephone kind of love. Lots of sexual allure. Strength, protectiveness, passion, push and pull, makeup sex? Specially since the ruler of the 7th house (Mars) is in the 5th house. You're not the kinda person who'd be happy to marry just for stability. Passion and mutual attraction, love is a must.

Mars and rahu. Service. Over exerting for those you love. Days spent in bed. Service kink. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets.

You're definitely attracted to people who help you better your place in the world. They have to have a little bit of ' I wanna do good / change the world in them'. A friendly leader kinda figure. Disciplined.

Your darakarka Mars is retrograde. Controlling. Dominant. Future BAE is definitely gonna overthink themselves into a worry when it comes to dating and wooing. Or they could think that only their way is the right / best way to do soemthing. Poor lil baby( I say baby, but as a Virgo Mars they're probably the person who takes charge, plans, overanalyzes things has a set way of doing things.) this could be someone who is an advocate for universal free education, teaches children for free or some such. Could second guess themselves when it comes to taking action.

Mars Rahu conjunction: sub kink. They'd want a lot of adulation. Could be from a different culture from you or have studied in a very different environment.

I think your fs gets better at dealing with overthinking after you guys tie the knot. They learn to be more at peace with themself, letting their intuition guide them instead of focusing too hard on trying to do the logical thing. Okay with being messy. May like to act and arrange things behind the scenes. Imagine coming home tired to find that they've already called the restaurant, arranged for your favorite food to be dropped off, warmed, alid out on the table. Gives me the vibes of a puppeteer(katputli - a rajasthani folk dance)pulling the strings. You can't see them, but the show goes on.

From being ficusssed on accumulating wealth your focus goes towards doing things that boost your sense of Self confidence. You could also grow more tactful as you learnt to seek out harmony. You probably become more direct and assertive as a result the peopep you attract are more easy going / Libra like.

I'm seeing a house for a wedding present? Or moving into your spouse's ancestral home. They could also come from a matrilineal lineage.

Your household could be supported by one or both of you working in tax, insurance, financial industries. There could also be soemthing related to life insurance.

Pluto and Saturn in the 7th is a tad concerning. There's a very heavy sense of some kind of karmic duty. Saturn is exalted in Libra.

Way too controlling. Narcissism. Moon Mars mother. Karmic ties. Moon 8th house.

U must learn to stand up for yourself.

If you're meant to have any babies in this lifetime, they'd probably visit you in a dream or a psychic trance before they come down to earth. Call it mothers intuition. This is just a gut feeling wrt your moon in 8th house in Scorpio in the D9. I say this because the moon rules the 4th house of home, and children are an important part of the house if you're a mom. The 4th house is also the home/ heartland what you'd protect.

You suppress your emotions. Emerges as a volcano. But a cold one. U turn to ice and grow aloof.

Out of body experiences

You need to learn to be more dominant and combative. I'd suggest watching the teal Swans video on creating a zero sum game in relationships. Strengthened by Aries ascendant in d 9. This life u gotta learn to fight for yourself, and not sit quietly because people attacked u or kept u under their thumb when u were younger by a strict dad.

OK, now let's look at the placements and aspects

D1 lagna (ascendant) VS D9 lagna

You go from comfort stability minded to taking more risks and initiative. Self Confidence increases. Assert your needs better.

Vargottama Moon

The moon is quite dominant as it does not change signs between d1 and D9. You're super cooperative and hate to disappoint people. I'd suggest reading up more on Anuradha Nakshatra.

Moon - Pluto - 7th house

Could indicate karmic ties or past life connections to FS. You work through a lot of your own inner insecurities, self doubt, lack mindset related issues in close romantic relationships. There could be some mother wound related issues. You can only love as deeply as you allow yourself to love yourself. In order to attract people who inspire positive growth in you, you must first sit with your shadow, examine why people trigger you, and make peace with yourself or, perhaps your mom?

Mars Rahu - sextile moon

Mars and Rahu are both impulsive action oriented Planets. Them sextile your Pluto and moon could lead you to feel quite triggered and attacked by the slightest hint of advice or suggestion from someone else. Sex with the wrong people can really mess with you. In a better manifestation good sex has you feeling liek you can change the world and also that you're super safe and secure.

Venus combust - 10th house

You need to feel appreciated for your uniqueness. Ego battles could arise and get in the way of finding, expressing love.

Saturn- Ketu Pisces

The ruler of your 7th Nakshatra this is someone who loses themself to community service, could do too much for the wrong cause. Money could come in from fish farming. Seduments or other aquatic culture.

Anuradha 7th house

This is a Nakshatra that focuses on achieving success by working with a group. Your fs is collaborative and good at managing people. Someone who shares success. And is hence likely to go far ahead in life. Major success may come later in life.

Mars 7th house

Expect healthy amount of frank, direct communication. Some arguments with FS. But there's also protectiveness, concern, and the will to do the best by someone. Mars and moon aspects indicate a healthy sex life. They're probably enamored by you. You in turn would find them super sexy.

7th Nakshatra lord and Ketu

Your fs and relation with FS is a highly spiritual one. You could both be looking for a soulful connection. There is love, there us duty there is a need to help each other value time, focus on the future. They could have been a strict disciplinarian figure Ina past life. You both probably have a knack to look down at your phone just in time tos ee an email / message alert from them? Perhaps you two run or help/volunteer at an institution for the mentally challenged.

7th house relation to pieces

OK, so this is where we have a lot going on. Mars opposes saturn. And is placed with Rahu. Mars here feels restrained. Your fs could feel blocked in their creative gifts. In the sense that all they want to do is focus on it, create, post, gain fame but saturn and Ketu try to restrict their creative time. They could be perfectionists. Having to redo things. Since Rahu is also in virgo there's a focus on creating things with the hands and fine tuning every single detail. Directed towards you, this is someone who is always encouraging you while trying to micromanage a lot of details because they think they're being helpful. This is sosmrhtinf you two could have in common so

Mars Darakarka: they teach u to fight for you. Opinionated. Honest. Perfectionist. Service before self. Hardworking. Have integrity. Very active mind.

Mars conjunct Rahu-venus D9 creativity

The 5th house rules creativity and with your venus in the 9th house in D9 your fs is someone who encourages u to be more creative and follow or take up a course to be better at your hobbies. It's like full creative freedom to be you and do you.

D9 Exalted Saturn

Justice. Duty. Not very affectionate but they make sure you have everything you need. Balanced approach. Someone thoughtful. They're fair in a fight.

Libra, venus ruled 7th house

Beauty, peace and harmony in thr relationship. You're not gonna feel like you're being taken for grated. They will treat you to nice things and probably have a schedule for dates and other such romantic leisure activities.

Jupiter rules 9th, in 2nd house

Philosophy. Art. Culture. Museums. Travel coudk be a key focus in your married life. This is something you two bond over. Could also strike God fortune when u do travel or go on pilgrimages. Luck and money via foreign sources.

Rahu in aquarius

Social media influence or you get better at making friends just make sure that they're not provoking you into taking uncalcukated risks or actions that are wya too bizarre. Could denote some kind of breakthrough with technology, a love for a high end gadget driven spaces. An interest in Photography. Any couples pictures posts would be well received. Like you're the couple that looks exotic in their photos. Radiant. Aloof, intellectual, stimulating and even more appealing together.

Jupiter Taurus in 2nd house of D9

Debilitated Jupiter 9th house- religious issues - venus 9th house - conversion?

You may have struggled with religious ideologies being forced on you, or the one you were born into didn't quite feel right. Your fs may follow a different religion or show you that being religious does not mean you feel bad about some of your lifestyle choices.

Pisces Mars d9: he is either tactful and charming or a bit manipulative. You may feel like you prefer to act behind the scenes. It may be a little hard to be recognized for the things you do untill you get really really angry.

D9 Cancer 4th house: the home is a serious source of pride. Beautiful interiors and you'd be quite guarded about who you invite over. The best meals. Soothing interiors.

Pilgrimage within the 1st year of becoming a mom ( Jupiter's aspect on the 9th house)

Venus in Sagittarius D9: future BAE is gonna love his freedom. He could be a workaholic.

Alrighty, that's all I've got today. I hope this helps. I wish you the best on your healing and integration journey

#Shadow work #Mars saturn Pluto 7th house #Future spouse astrology #Future spouse reading #D1 and D9 analysis #Navamsa analysis

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sugasugawarau · 4 years

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200 milestone

This blog hit 200 during my semi-hiatus and I neglected to post this after because I still had matchups for my 100 and the mlist for Table for Two was posted meaning I’m a lil late 😹👍 but I do want to take the time to properly thank each and every one of you for sticking around!! Your support means the world to me I love u all 🥺💕 As a thank you, I’ll be doing matchups again and a lil smth to do with self-ships; read more about and join the event here!

From my previous milestone to now, I’ve also had the amazing opportunity to get to know more people so I want to take the time to thank some of my mutuals since I’m most likely going to be rlly bad at replying to messages and checking up on your posts with school starting up :,) (VERY lengthy hence read more)

— to the biggest lo5ers ik!

@kbh-ton; HAHA I bet you didn’t expect to be called out since you only use Tumblr for reblogging but here we are, bbq sauce on my (.)(.) 😍Just wanted to say that aside from being an amazing friend since grade 4 (except for when you bully me stop trying to kin Tsukishima so hard smh), I am immensely grateful for your support for all the dumb shit I do online and offering your thotz on a lot of my headcanons and other shit too because you’d think witnessing the bs I do irl would be enough to last you a lifetime 😹🤟 Ily and message me on ig or discord when u see this pp

And thanks to my other irl friends Emma (who doesn’t have Tumblr) and Yoshi (who doesn’t watch Haikyuu - lame ik 👎 - but has Tumblr and posts sexc art so check him out but don’t tell him I sent u or anything!! @/ashr00m) for not really knowing what I do here but being supportive nonetheless and inspiring a LOT of my text scenarios and being my best friends or whateveuh 👁👅👁 I’ll text them a proprer thank you in the gc and remind them that I love them too because it’s soft on main hrs too apparently 🙀

— to my wifeys (poly 🥰)

@tendouthighs; Codie, you were my first friend on tumblr and I want to take the time to thank you for posting that you were open to making friends here because without that I might not have ever gotten the courage to slide into your dms 🙈 You always brighten my day and your text scenarios are EVERYTHING, ily lovely! 💜

@pyblos; Lyra, you’re the Iwaizumi to my Oikawa, my wife in our very extensive reverse harem, and have been one of the most prominent people during my weird tumblr journey. You’ve been here since the early days of my blog and have been a constant source of love and support, I’m so glad to have met you and you’re so talented!! 😚💕(even if u bring out the 🔪 every once in a while HAHA) ilysm bb 🤍

@yeskoushi; Shan my babygork 😻🥺 we may have only started interacting recently but you’re so funny, kind, and talented. Not only is your writing top tier, your entire blog is pretty too just like you (insert the ur so sexy aha ha ha meme face here🥴) Never hesitate to reach out to me okay? Sending you good luck for sch and ily and imy 😿💕

— to my beautiful bbs!

@sneezefiction; Gracie, words can’t begin to describe how beautiful you are inside and out. Ilysm, I’m in awe with all you do - your fics and headcanons always make me soft, as if I’m being enveloped in a warm hug :,)) Thank you for also being here since my blog’s early days and most importantly for being you, and I’m so happy we met 💙

@baeshijima; Sophie!! We’ve only recently started talking as well but ilysm 🥰 I can’t thank you enough for being such a blessing and always remember that you deserve all of the kindness you give out x1000! I hope we get to know each other better and make sure you’re taking care of yourself 🥺💖

@heyhinata; Cal bb we also have only started interacting recently but omg ily and would fight anyone and anything for you, you’re so precious and funny how do you do it 😾💕 I’m vv glad we met and I’m so excited for your future works!!

@astereim; Rein, Mareina supremacy amirite 😼 SHFJAKDJ okay but honestly you’ve been one of the easiest people to talk to right from the start and also your writing is i m m a c u l a t e, I admire your characterization and dialogue sm and ily :,) 💙

@softforsaeko; Joy, ily ❤️ and I still don’t know how you can perfectly embody the word joy. Every time I see you on my dash I let out the most obnoxious cackles because you’re HILARIOUS (Fun fact my irl who has tumblr says that he’s also started immediately thinking of you when he sees Saeko, can’t wait for you guys to get married!!)

@agaassi @visaintes @miki-snake @drabblily @oii-sugasan @lcnelyinthesky @bearri-main @ranojiroa-san @ukaiscigarette @strawberrii-milktea @murdereddaydreams @keichan @bellesowl @fvrcore @noya-sannnn

I was scared to talk in the server when I first joined (I’m a pussy ik 😿) but I can say with confidence that I don’t regret it because I got to meet all of you wonderful and talented people. To everyone I’ve had the chance to talk to, thank you for making me laugh sm and ily!! And to everyone else in the server I haven’t interacted with yet, ilyt you’re all so sweet and I hope to get to know you better in the future 🤍

And thank you to @inloveinc @sa-suga @tsukkiscookies @cherryonigiri @oikawas-wh-re @tsuumu @haijme @honeykaashi @mirajanestrauss1999 @tris-does-stuff @sunnsflower @sleepykarabou @ksyescribe I hope we can to get to know each other better as well, ily, and please make sure you’re taking care of your beautiful + talented selves <3 This all applies to my new mutuals too !!

— to my inspirations!

@90s-belladonna @the-broken-halo-writer @indigohitoshi; Aixa, Corey and Issa, all three of you inspired me to make my own blog with your SMAUs and written works 🥺 I would like to thank you all sm for sharing your works and know that you’re all amazing !!💕

@sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock; Lin and Lola, I’m still dumbfounded that you both follow me tbh LMAO. You were both some of the first haikyuu blogs I followed and you always crack me up with your posts, rlly some of the coolest people on here. I adore you and wishing you the best in everything you do! 🥰

#200 milestone #mari hits 200!!#<- blacklist if u don’t want to see this on ur dash #no seriously what are u doing following me #are u lost 😔😔😔 i cant help u im sorry im struggling to navigate my own life #BUT THANK YOU AJDJFJA

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the-space-above-the-stars · 5 years

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hard feelings

jung jaehyun x reader

Summary: “My mom asked about you again,” you stalled for a second as he bought up the words, seemingly innocent and nonchalant, before continuing to pour his coffee. “She was asking if you would find her a bother if she called you.”

“Not at all,” Your smile is civil, the carefully carved simply curve of your lips you’ve perfected over months, as you hand him his coffee. “You know I love talking to your mom.”

Your breakup with Jung Jaehyun left a lot of things unsaid and a lot of feelings untouched. But it’s difficult to get over someone when you see hem everyday. Even more so when you live with them.

Warnings: wine

Word Count: 4.3K

Genre: angst, fluff

A/N: I hope you enjoy this, this is the first time I’m writing for Jaehyun, so yeah. My requests are open, and this is unedited, so idk if you should have expectations going in. THERE are some parts of the story that are flashbacks and for some reason the italics aren’t working on mobile so i’ll put flashbacks in brackets.

The floor is cold as you slip out of your bed, walking on tiptoes down the hallway to your kitchen. It’s still dark outside and any reasonable person would still be sleeping, but you had chosen to make this the perfect time to go to work.

Jaehyun, you write on a pink post it note, packaging the freshly made scrambled eggs into tupperware. There’s eggs in the fridge, make sure to eat.

Your relationship with Jung Jaehyun was so strange that even writing a damn note became difficult. What words could you use that wouldn’t walk the line of romantic? How would you make yourself sound platonic for a man you still loved?

So to you, the best way to avoid this is to avoid him. That’s why you leave before the sun comes up and try your best to be out of the house once your classes are over. But it’s not easy. You still see him. Every morning at the coffee shop, when you get home late at night and he’s cooking dinner, when he wakes up earlier than you for practice.

6 months ago, you and Jaehyun broke up. And as a broke college student with lack of better lodging, he decided that it would be best for you both to continue renting out your apartment together. Only it didn’t feel like the shared apartment anymore. The pictures of the both of you that used to line your walls have long since been removed and stored away. You’ve moved into the spare bedroom across the hall, in a bed too big for you to sleep by yourself. Getting ready in the morning takes twice as long when you can’t share a bathroom with a person. You’ve become strangers.

The coffee shop is quiet as you turn the light on, the gentle hum of electricity coming to life reverberating through the walls. It’s 6:34. There’s nothing to do but wait, so you do, brewing a fresh pot and pouring a cup while you pull your book out.

[“What’re you reading?” Jaehyun hums, lofting his head from where it rests on your stomach. You’re both stretched out on the couch, his arms wrapped around you.

“The Alchemist,” you respond, laying the book down and running your fingers through his hair.

“What’s it about?” He leans into your touch, eyes closing again as his dimples show in a smile.

“A shepherd from Spain. His name is Santiago and he meets this man who tells him to go to the pyramids of Giza and find a treasure.”

“Doesn’t that sound like a bit of a scam?” He chuckles, leaning up to kiss your lips.

“It’s an adventure, dummy. Besides, the kid does get scammed, just not by this dude.”

“Can you read it to me? Just from wherever you’re at.”

He lays his head back down as you nod, finding your place again as you start to speak. “The Englishman was unable to sleep one night. He called to the boy, and they took a walk along the dunes surrounding the encampment There was a full moon, and the boy told the Englishman the story of his life...”]

Opening up old memories only invites others back in, and soon you’ve lost focus on the book and are swept into the sea of memories that was your relationship with Jaehyun. Painting your bedroom, moving in, your first date, first anniversary, first kiss, it all comes back.

The first customer walks in at 7:30 on the dot, a secretary who always picks up 4 americanos. When she walks in, you’re already making her drinks, and she gives you a grateful smile as she swipes her credit card. “Have a nice day,” she calls back, her beige heels clacking on the floors as she walks out with a slight sway from balancing her bag and the coffees.

Hana, your friend and the other person on the morning shift walks in at 8:00, just as things are starting to get busy. “He’s not in yet?” She asks, slipping her apron on. Her hair, dyed a ashy blonde, goes up in a bun as she takes your place behind the register, allowing you to mix drinks freely. “I must be early.”

“You say this to me every time, Hana,” you chuckle as you hand two teenagers their hot chocolates. They come to the coffee shop to study before tests, and you sprinkle some extra cinnamon into their drinks just like they like it. “He comes in at 9:00. 8:30 if he has practice, and no, I don’t know if he has practice.” Hana has a vested interest in your relationship with Jaehyun, and you know she’s been hoping for you both to get back together since you broke up.

8:30 rolls around and he hasn’t made an appearance. It starts drizzling outside, and you curse yourself for not bringing your umbrella. It’s a bit of a walk to the subway station, and then from your station, a few blocks to your home. Your jacket is going to have a rough day.

Almost exactly at 9:00, a black car pulls up in the parking lot and Hana chuckles as you subconsciously fix your hair, earning her a flick on the arm. Busying yourself with the latte art a fellow tired college student ordered, you force yourself not to look up. But of course, as the bell rings, you still do.

Jung Jaehyun, even slightly rained on, looks like he walked out of a designer runway. His hair’s swept back and speckled with rain drops, his signature dimples poking out as he holds the door open for the two girls with hot chocolates as they leave. You hand the customer their latte, the smile that crosses their face when they see the design adorning it giving you a small piece of solace.

“Hey,” he says, smiling at you as he sits down at the counter, in the same seat as always. He’s wearing the hoodie you used to always steal from him. It’s blue, with two stripes, red and white, on each sleeve. It’s gone back to smelling like his cologne.

“Hey. Same as usual?” He doesn’t even need to nod before you grab a cup and the coffee pot, making his regular. Jung Jaehyun, ever the creature of habit, orders the same black coffee and warmed up croissant for the 12 months he’s come to the cafe.

“My mom asked about you again,” you stalled for a second as he bought up the words, seemingly innocent and nonchalant, before continuing to pour his coffee. “She was asking if you would find her a bother if she called you.”

“Not at all,” Your smile is civil, the carefully carved simply curve of your lips you’ve perfected over months, as you hand him his coffee. “You know I love talking to your mom.” A silence falls over you both as you grab a croissant and turn around to the oven, neither of you knowing how to continue this conversation. “Uh, so how’s practice going? Taeyong mentioned you guys are performing at MAMA?”

He coughs, using the sleeve of his hoodie to dry his hair. “Yeah, it’s going good. It’s a bit difficult cause they’re trying to get all the units to perform, and then they want us to perform together. But hey, that’s what we get for the never ending members concept.”

“Yeah, I guess so” you laugh and you’re both thinking about the same thing.

[“Okay, okay, okay, wait, explain this to me one more time.” You’re currently sitting on Jaehyun’s lap, arms thrown lazily around his neck as he attempts to explain NCT.

“Okay, so NCT means Neo Culture Technology, and basically we have an unlimited number of members.” You nod, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “NCT U stands for United, which means that the members change based on the concept. NCT 127 is the fixed group, and it’s based in Seoul because Seoul is where K-pop started. NCT Dream is with all the underage members, and they stay in Dream until they become adults.”

“And then they graduate to NCT U? Or NCT 127?”

“Or WayV,” he nods, smiling as he kisses your neck. “See, that wasn’t so hard. I didn’t even need to get Doyoung’s chart.” You both dissolve into a mess of laughter, and Jaehyun leans up to press more kisses up your neck, your jawline, and eventually meeting your lips. ]

“Um, here’s your croissant, and your drink. That’s $4.55, you can swipe your card.” He nods with a sip of his drink and takes the bag with the pastry before swiping his card. “Okay, you’re good. Uh, I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you at home.Oh, thanks for the eggs.” He waves one more time and you pretend to go back to work as his car pulls out. Home.

“You have it baddd,” Hana says singsongedly, earning another flick.

***

It hasn’t stopped raining all day. What was drizzling became a steady downpour that’s lasted the entirety of your shift. Groaning as you slip on your jacket, you wave bye to Hana. She offered a ride, but you’re aware her house is in the complete opposite direction and that would just waste her time.

The store awnings provide some cover as you walk down the street, your jacket getting slightly drenched as you walk rapidly through the gaps between them. You haven’t made it too far down the street when you stop, surprise turning you into a statue. Jaehyun’s walking towards you, umbrella in hand. “What are you doing out here?” You ask, trying to hide your shivering.

“I went home and saw you left your umbrella there. You think I was gonna let you walk home in this rain?” You can’t stumble out a response before he grabs your hand. “Come on, my car’s just around the corner.”

It’s so quiet the walk to the car and all you can think about is that he’s still holding your hand. “I could have gone home with Hana, you didn’t have to drive out here.”

“Hana lives on the other side of town, I knew you weren’t going to bother her for it. And it’s not a bother, really. I was done with everything anyway.” He opens your door before crossing to the other side and getting in. There’s towels laid across both seats and he pulls another from the backseat. “Dry yourself off, you’ll get sick if you stay like that.”

“The subway station really wasn’t that far,” you mutter as you pat your hair dry. “I could have walked fine.”

“Just- just let me do something nice for you, hm? To repay you for the eggs, let’s see it as that.”

“It wasn’t a favor this morning. I just had extra eggs.”

“Okay, then let me do nice things because I feel like it, okay?” But it isn’t your job to do nice things for me anymore, you want to say but you don’t, biting your lip instead and looking out the window. You’re both quiet until you hit a red light and Jaehyun’s phone lights up. Incoming call from Eun-i. His hands tighten around the wheel as he picks up, you pretending not to pay attention. “Hi. Oh yeah, sure. Yeah, I’ll see you there. Okay. No, that’s fine. Great. Okay, see you later.”

“Who’s that?” You ask, trying to sound casual. Isn’t being okay with him seeing other girls a good step in moving on? Then why is there such a weird feeling in your stomach?

“Uh, some girl Johnny knows, he’s been bugging me to go out with her, says she won’t get off his back about it. You’re not upset, are you?”

“No, of course not, Jaehyun. Why would I be upset?” Maybe something in your tone is off because he just sighs.

“I don’t know, Y/N. We don’t really get the time to talk, since you’ve been leaving so early and coming back so late at night just to avoid me.”

“I have to open the shop early,” you deflect, heart beating as you still avoid his eyes. “And my study group ends late.”

“Bull.” Months of pent up feelings are coming out as the light turns green. “You leave on weekends, holidays, days when I know you don’t have class and when you don’t have shifts at the cafe.”

“I- I don’t know, what do you want me to say? I’m scared I’m going to say something or you’re going to say something that brings the both of us 6 months back and we only feel more awkward around each other and I just-” not knowing what to say, you stop, resting your head in your palms. “I just want to go back to being friends.”

“I don’t know how we can with both of us scared of taking the next step.” The car pulls into the parking lot in front of the apartment and Jaehyun unlocks the doors. “Y/N-” but you’re already out of the car, fumbling for the keypad as you punch the code in.

Still sitting in the seat, Jaehyun sighs and rests his head on the wheel.

***

It’s late. The ticking hands on the clock are nearing midnight, and instead of being in bed, you’re curled up on the couch with a glass of red wine. Jaehyun left a few hours back for his date and the nerves after your fight and the small pit in your stomach had made it impossible for you to sleep. Hopefully the wine would make you drowsy.

How did things get so fucked up? Tracing your finger along the rim of your glass, a tear crawls down your cheek in your drunken state. You both used to love each other, you used to be able to talk about anything and everything.

[“Do you ever wonder why we respect the dead more than the living?” You raise your eyebrow, trying not to laugh as Jaehyun, drunk off his ass, continues to talk. “No like, really, if I died today, wouldn’t people start thinking nicer things about me? Like Mark wouldn’t bitch about that time I ate his sandwich, he’d be like “Man, Jaehyun was, like, so cool, R.I.P.”

“I’m sorry, did you just do an impression of Mark mourning your death, and he said R.I.P.?” He just shrugs and you can’t stop the laughter, getting up to grab the glass of water on the nightstand. Jaehyun, however, has other ideas.

“Nooooo, where are you going?” Grabbing your arm, he pulls you onto the mattress and wraps his arms around you.

“I’m just grabbing you water, dummy, you’re head’s gonna hurt from all that drinking.”

“How are you so smart?” He awes, eyes wide as they follow your movements. You just laugh, the sound reverberating off the walls of your bedroom as he drinks the water and pulls you back down. ]

Your relationship was so- full. That’s the only way you can describe what you felt with him. Complete, whole, your heart brimming with love for this man who held your entire heart in his hand.

From the couch, you can hear the front door open and wipe your tear quickly, taking another sip of your wine. “You’re home early,” you try to be casual as Jaehyun walks in, slipping his shoes off and taking off his coat.

“Yeah. Date was a disaster, I’m going to kill Johnny- is that wine?”

You smile as you grab the bottle and pour yourself another glass. “There’s glasses in the cabinets.”

*** Many many many glasses of wine that were definitely over the recommended amount later, you and Jaehyun are both tipsy as all hell. “Re-remember that time you fell into Mark’s pool?” He stumbles out, cheeks flushed red from laughter. You nod, equally flushed as drunk tears pooled in your eyes from the heavy laughter the last anecdote he bought up had caused. “Well-well it wasn’t really an accident, Doyoung made a bet with Yuta that he could kick the cap off a water bottle, but he missed, fell back, and accidentally pushed you in.”

“Motherfucker, I’m gonna kill him!” Laughter strikes you both again, followed by a semi-awkward silence. “I’m- I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you, Jaehyun,” you hiccuped, downing the rest of your wine. “I just- figured it’d be easier for the both of us.”

“No, it’s okay, I get why.” He follows suit in finishing off his wine. “Our situation isn’t necessarily ideal.”

“You can say that again,” you top of both of your glasses and clink them together, taking a heavy sip of your own. “I just realized, we haven’t talked this much since- since..”

“Since- since we broke up,” Jaehyun finishes for you, brushing his hair back as his words slur. You just nod, averting your eyes at the mention. “I never apologized for that.”

“For not talking?”

“No, for the breakup. I was always too busy, and I didn’t know how to manage my time and I just shoved you to the side-”

“Shut up, Jaehyun. You can’t cast all the blame on yourself, we both did things- said things we’re not that proud of.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” You nod and he leans in, as if to whisper it into your ear. “I love you, Y/N.” And suddenly, the safe space of your couch and your wine glasses becomes surprisingly hostile as the red lights begin to flash. Jaehyun still loves you, and you’re oh so drink to say something reasonable.

“I love you too, Jae,” you confess out loud, your fast-beating heart skipping a beat as Jaehyun leans forward, an arm wrapping around your waist. “Jae-”

“Just let me make up for lost time.” His lips connect to yours as he pulls you onto his lap, hands bunching up the material of your t-shirt as he plants his hands on your back. Your fingers thread through his hair as you pull him closer, moaning as he tugs on your bottom lip. “Can we- can we go to our room?”

Our room. A room the two of you haven’t shared in months. A brief thought passes through your subconscious that you’re going to regret something in the morning, but still, you nod.

***

You know what you’re going to regret as you wake up in your old shared bedroom, Jaehyun’s arms wrapped around your bare waist and a splitting headache thumping against your head. You can feel his shallow breaths, warm, against your shoulder as his head rests in the crook of your neck and his bare chest against your back.

You slept with an ex. Not just any ex, Jung Jaehyun, the boy who you were sure you would love for your whole life and the boy who broke your heart and whose heart you broke yourself.

How can you two even look at each other now, knowing that those old feelings are still there? How can you live under the same roof as Jaehyun knowing that he, too, wants to be more than exes, more than acquaintances, roommates, friends, again?

You rest your hands on his and slowly undrape them from around you, slipping out of bed. He wrinkles his nose at the loss of warmth, bundling the blankets over his body in his sleep.

[“Nooo,” Jaehyun whines as you try to slip out of bed. “Stay, call in sick or something.”

“You big baby.” you chuckle, sitting up and throwing your legs over the side of the bed. Jaehyun comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you as you throw on a shirt. “It’s almost Christmas, and I’d like to prove to my manager that I should get a holiday bonus.”

“Come on,” he moans again, pressing open kisses to the back of your neck. “Stay a bit late, I’ll make you breakfast? Give you a ride to work? Be your first customer?”

You laugh, semi-dressed and roll back over on bed to straddle his lap, cupping his cheeks. “Get ready with me now, then, and you can get all of those things.”

“Princess, it’s hard to cuddle someone when you’re driving.”

“You wound me, Mr. Jung, am I only here for cuddles?”

“Practically-oof.” You throw a pillow at him, laughing as he falls back. “Okay, now you’re going to get it.” ]

That’s how things used to be, you chastise yourself, grabbing your clothes and sneaking out to your bedroom to get dressed.

Jaehyun, the note today reads. Hana needs help opening up today. I’ll see you later. Sausages and eggs in the fridge.

***

“NO,” Hana whisper-yells as you finish your story. “Damn, I knew you two would hook up again one day, but damn, that’s a lot to take in.”

The overhead lights of the cafe make you wince and rub your temples, wondering when the painkillers you hurriedly took in the morning will kick in. “I shouldn’t have gotten drunk, I shouldn’t have let him get drunk, I shouldn’t have said I love you back-”

“Woah woah woah woah woah woah woah,” Hana claps a hand over your mouth, disbelief etched in her eyes. “You and Jaehyun are literally the best couple, do you know how sad we all were when you broke up? You guys made each other so happy, and y’all have been miserable the past months, so what’s the hesitation now?”

“If we could break each other’s hearts 6 months ago, what’s stopping us this time?” Hana opened her mouth, then closed it. “I- I’m trying to keep Jaehyun in my life, no matter how platonic that has to be. If we try again and we end up like this or worse? I don’t know-”

The door opens with the ring of the bell and Jaehyun walks in, keeping his sunglasses on as he too avoids the gaze of the lights and sits at the counter. Your heart thuds as you grab a cup and the coffee pot. “Morning,” you try to greet, pouring his cup. “You left again this morning,” he leaves no room for pleasantries, taking the glasses off.

“I had to open the shop early, did you read my note?”

“Stop giving me that shit, Y/N, we should have talked about last night,”

“It was a mistake, I know Jaehyun, can we just move on?”

“Mistake?” He winces as he looks you in the eye. “What the fuck, Y/N, it wasn’t a mistake to me, I-”

“We were drunk and reminiscing, it shouldn’t have happened.”

“No, I’m glad it did. You told me you loved me. I don’t know about you, but when I said it, I was telling the truth.” Your lips are pursed as you say nothing, and he scoffs, reaching for your wrist. “Come outside with me,” with no time to argue, he pulls you outside the shop. “What’s the problem? Are we just going back to you avoiding me again?”

“No,” you shake your head, looking at your feet. “I’m gonna look for a place.”

“What?” Your response catches him off guard. “Why?”

“Because- because I can’t live with you without wanting things to be more than what they are now. Without wanting them to be like they used to be.”

“Then let them be like they used to be,” he pleads, taking your hand. “I love you, Y/N. Breaking up with you has been one of my biggest regrets, and if you want things to be like they used to be, let’s be together again.”

“No, Jaehyun, it’s-” you try to calm your breathing, running your hands down the front of your apron. “Before we broke up, I was so in love and naive, I thought that we would be together forever, I trusted myself implicitly with your heart, and vice verse, but Jae- our breakup? It wasn’t good, it was messy and we both fucked up with each other, so knowing that we have the capability to break each other’s hearts? It makes me terrified of trying this again.”

“You can’t know exactly what’s going to happen, Y/N,” he sighs, rubbing his eyes. “But you have to remember we’d be going into this knowing all the mistakes we made the last time. You can’t be sure with love, but all we can really do is try our best to make things work.”

“I- oh god, what if it goes worse this time?”

“It won’t. I know you, you won’t let it get that bad, and speaking for myself, I’ll do anything I can to avoid that.” His fingers lace through yours, squeezing your hand. “Be mine again. Stop leaving so early in the morning, come back to our room, just- stop trying to get away from me, because I’m not letting go.”

Your silence seems disheartening, and he turns around to go back inside. But it isn’t until he grabs the door handle that he stumbles slightly, from the force of your hug as you wrap your arms around him from behind. “Okay,” your voice is shaky as you nod, head buried in his back. “Let’s try this again.”

And he’s whirling around to pick you up in a bone crushing hug, tears building up in the corners of both of your eyes as he spins you around, setting you back down to kiss you. And the kiss, and his hands cupping your face and the way his lips are forming a smile against yours, it fills you with a sort of warmth, a sense of safety that you haven’t felt for 6 months.

The way you feel toward Jung Jaehyun will never go away. He’ll always be yours, there will always be a space in your heart reserved for him no matter how complicated things are or the hard feelings you both share.

Inside the store, Hana shoots you a wink, making a shooing motion to tell you to take the rest of the day off. Lacing your fingers through Jaehyun’s, you pull him down the street, just as you both used to do, running around Seoul together with the simple comfort of each other.

#nct #nct u #nct jaehyun #jung yoonoh #jung jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #fanfiction #nct fanfiction #reader insert #jung jaehyun x reader #jaehyun fanfiction #nct jaehyun x reader #jung yoonoh x reader #y/n #x reader #nct jung jaehyun x reader

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destinysthralls · 5 years

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[prompto voice] i want to rp with my friends all day!

follow forever ! (sorry to everyone i missed by accident)

chocobos : people i haven’t interacted with much/at all, but really really want to!

moogles: people who i’ve interacted with and LOVED interacting with!

@sinnhelmingr: LIGHT OF MY LIFE. supporter of all my muses, all five hundred of them lmfao. u are the most talented writer i have ever met, and i constantly feel my heart leap up into my chest when i see you’ve written me a starter or a reply. i love ur brain!

@marurisen: you were my FIRST NEW FRIEND on this blog, and the first person who really GAVE ME A CHANCE. i was so surprised when you followed me back bc u seemed so amazing and cool and i was like WOWWWWWW so impressed with u, and u followed me back and i was like so pleased with myself lol. ur kind and smart and funny and i LOVE all our characters relationships, especially jester/gladio, the crossover ship that stole my heart!

@divinarcsa: my WIFE!!!! i love u so much. you inspire me to be better, to work harder, to make my prose more prosey and my outlook more rosey! you’re such a wonderful person, inside and out, with so much to offer the world in terms of art and personality. you are truly beautiful my love! <3

@incoronare: every day i think about how lucky i am that you took interest in this lil ol blog of mine! i mean it when i say u make my childhood dreams come true, of peach being cute and bi and ready to cry but also ready to KICK ASS. she’s so fuckin perfect and SO ARE YOU. ur writing blows me away, and ur such a sweetheart!

@thefatalmarksman: U SHOULD KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU BY NOW BUT I THINK UR THE TOTAL PACKAGE, i get COMEDY i get THE MOST DIVINE feelings, i get to hc jam with u, we can be SILLY and SERIOUS and cute and fun and everything i want in a roleplay partner and then some!!! ur amazing!!!!

@x-purpose: i’m SO EXCITED YOU’RE BACK bc u have the most insane theories and ideas, and i’ve never seen someone so devoted to their muse without projecting literally anything on them? you just love your muses and their potential wholeheartedly to the end and thats it and i love that.... you’re SO creative and smart and intuitive and i love the way our muses and plots click into place! can’t wait to rp with you more!

@mettleforged: we haven’t talked much but i think u and all ur blogs and muses are so fuckin excellent and you have THE BEST OF THE BEST OF FFX OPINIONS. i can’t wait to interact more!

@khresme: you are such an INTENSE & BRILLIANT person with so many ideas for how to make final fantasy ten dramatic and excellent, giving it the meaning and symbolism that somehow got lost on the cutting room floor. i love how deep you make luna and noctis, and i’m fascinated with all your hcs for both of them! thank you for making me think of luna in a brand new way!

@chosenbythecrystal: you are an EXCELLENT WRITER, definitely one of the best in the fandom BY FAR and you are one of my FAVORITE people to write with. i love your ideas for noctis and how easy you are to plot with in aus. you’re a very giving partner and i feel like i can build whole universes with you and i love that!

@tridentfaith: you are truly just such a nice person and so easy to talk to! i can’t wait to interact with your other blog!

@gunsandpuppies & @bladesandkittens: while you are both excellent writers and seem so nice and funny, i have to say, my favorite part of following you both is definitely seeing your ABSOLUTELY #BESTFRIENDGOALS everyday. like i log in and i see you guys interacting and it just puts the biggest smile on my face! i’m glad wholesome platonic soul mates like you two can exist in this world!

@holdonescards: corey, i really feel u are like the big brother i never had tbh! tho idek if you’re older than me. i appreciate your maturity and frankness so, so much, but also now that i understand you better, i want to PROTECT YOU FROM THE WORLD. i hope that we get SO MANY MORE platonic/found family ships in the future, and i appreciate and am grateful for your unique outlook on life, your BEAUTIFUL art, and fantastic friendship <3 thank u so much for being a part of my life!

@moonlitsummoner: I STAN!!! YOU!!!! #stanyoona. you give SUCH LIFE to yuna, you make her feel so real and vibrant, like i’m talking right to her through the screen, and it’s just such an AMAZING feeling to see all these scenes i wish were in the game through your eyes. PLEASE NEVER STOP INTERACTING WITH MY FFX MUSES LMAO. they love ur yunie so much! (and your writing? shall we say... magnifique....)

@dawnryse : okay so i’ll admit we definitely got off on the wrong foot in the ffxv server (through no fault of our own really, just big misunderstandings as far as the eye can look), but you’ve given me a real appreciation for platonic relationships. i know we haven’t meshed together perfectly on any one plot, but i really appreciate you reaching out to me so much with the GIFT of your friendship, and i really appreciate every conversation we have bc ur so funny and nice and u have such great ideas!

@dawnled : you realize i will stan you until the day i die? i am TRULY YOUR BIGGEST FAN. LOVE THAT STELLA. your writing is soooo gorgeous and i love the depth you give riku and ALL his relationships even when canon won’t. your ideas for aus are so brilliant, and just seeing you interact with other people on the dash makes me smile so much. you are so, so loved by ALL of us. and you better be---because you’re the shining light in this fandom that gives us all so much inspiration and happiness.

@nymphatragicae : you KNOW i love your aqua! i’m so happy you’re back and i’m LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT GOOD GOOD XEMQUA CONTENT. ur aqua is soooo fuckin good and i love her forever rip in pieces

@alnaari & @pcisoner : HONESTLY LBR YOU TWO ARE A PACKAGE DEAL. i really feel Seen by u two and ur writing. u both Get Me on an aesthetic level, you understand the feeling that i want to portray in my writing, and you portray the same feeling. i stan the both of you, you’re so talented, i stalk all your threads, and TREASURE YOUR FRIENDSHIP!

@guiltscorched: i LOVE all your muses, even the ones i don’t know, and speaking as someone who plays ignis.... i think you just GET ignis. you like understand him so fucking well, and i can HEAR HIM in your replies, and it’s just like WROW. amazing. ur amazing!!! ur writing is so beautiful and delicate and i just want to swim in it like a big pool full of quality writing.

@whosyourcultdaddy : I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STILL FOLLOW ME AFTER ALL THE BLASPHEMY I POST BUT LISTEN. I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH. YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND SO FUCKING TALENTED. PLEASE NEVER CHANGE HOW WEIRD AND AMAZING YOU ARE OKAY. UR ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BLOGS OF ALL TIME (on every single one of your blogs) and i’ll FOLLOW U INTO THE ABYSS

@dearlybelovedhearts : I ALMOST FORGOT YOU EVEN THO WE’RE LITERALLY TALKING RIGHT NOW OMG. i love how much thought you put into your charactesr and your plots! your docs are SCARY GOOD LOOKIN. ur so true to ur characters and their hearts, and i LOVE talking to you even tho we BASICALLY just met lol.

@invertxgo: we’re not as close as we used to be, but that’s okay! i still think the WORLD of you and all your characters. our friendship is evolving just like my blog is, and i hope we get to have lots of good good interactions on this blog! thanks for refollowing me bro!

#follow forever for ts #long post cw #positivity cw #not rp #ooc

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minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong · 5 years

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Ephemera Chapter Eleven

Ephemera: In art, transitory written and printed matter (receipts, notes, tickets, clippings, etc.) not originally intended to be kept or preserved.

Alternatively, things that exist or are used for only a short time.

Description: Nobody knows who Vante really is. Everything about the popular artist is shrouded in secrecy: from his face to his name to everything in between. After years of working for his art gallery, Y/N feels she may just be the closest thing he has to a friend. Between her success at work and her relationship with campus hot-shot Jeon Jungkook, Y/N’s life has never been better. But is Jungkook truly who he says he is? And who will Y/N protect now that she knows Vante’s livelihood may be on the line?

Genre: Romance, Drama, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jungkook x (f) Reader x Taehyung

Word Count: 6.2k

Tags: Non-Idol!Au, Gang!Au, Art History Student!Reader, Film Student!Jungkook, Art Student!Taehyung

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of alcohol, although infrequently

A/N: Woohoo another chapter! I’m really excited for you guys to read this one. These days I’ve been playing around with a Namjoon fic idea 👀 haha so there’s that to look forward to once Ephemera is done! As always, thank you so much for all the love and support. I really don’t feel like I deserve it, but I’m grateful! Please don’t be shy and send feedback, critique, questions, theories, and comments my way. I’ll be sure to respond to all asks I receive within a day of receiving them! Links will be added later!

And again, if you want to follow my Twitter, my username is @/plzpunchmebts. I’m super active over there and hopefully in the future I’ll do some livestreams/chats with you all!

- Mercury

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A palpable hush fell over the room, coating the air in a thick film. Tension built like momentum downhill, sure to snap should anyone clear their throat or set their foot down too loudly. Taehyung stood on the stage, gaze sweeping out across the ocean of people. On his lips, a confident smile that nearly made my heart race. He cleared his throat and fussed with his cufflink once more before releasing a long sigh.

“I have a feeling that big things are coming,” said Taehyung with a smile. “And I’d like to come out from the shadows to be part of them.”

I staggered back just as rapturous applause echoed through the hall. My body felt cold, like all the heat had drained out through my toes. I bumped into a man behind me whose wide eyes showed more concern than frustration at being shoved. I bowed my head and stumbled past him, towards the massive closed doors. My vision was blurry and it took me several bracing moments in the hallway to realize that it was because I was crying. My throat was so tight it was a labor to breathe and despite the hallway being relatively empty due to the speeches, I still felt like I needed to run someplace, find a closet or something where I could be alone.

But before I could take even a step, I felt a hand on the crook of my elbow and I turned to see Jungkook with wild, wide eyes and flushed cheeks. I tried to discern any measure of anger in his expression, but found only bewilderment.

This had been Taehyung’s plan all along, huh?

Draw Jungkook out, have me play assist, and take the wind out of his sails by revealing his identity himself before Jungkook had the chance to use it against him? Knowing he’d only follow me, knowing that if the invitation came from me Jungkook would trust it…

It’d be genius if it wasn’t so cruel.

“Did…Y/N, did you know?” he asked, breathless as he turned his eyes toward me.

I shook my head, wiping my face wildly and pulling back fingers stained black with makeup. “I-I…he told me to be in-in the ballroom for the speeches and-and…,” I couldn’t finish the sentence for my sobbing.

In the end, I’d been another pawn in their game.

Just like always.

Jungkook scanned me and slowly his expression turned serious. He furrowed his brow and nodded. “You’ve been watching me for him?” he asked.

I sniffled, gasping as my tears stole my breath. “Yes,” I choked out.

Jungkook sighed, gripping his nose bridge, and slowly released his grip on my arm. “How much do you know, really?” he watched me from above like an inquisitor, like any reaction I had would be marked and recorded.

I shook my head again. “I-I…I know you were u-using me to spy on Vante,” I said, raking my fingers through my hair, undoing hours of work I’d spent on the style.

“And?” he asked, eyes flashing between mine. “This is important, okay? Did you know why?”

I sniffled and shook my head. “No…,” I said, calming down the longer I looked at the autumn brown of his eyes.

He sighed and nodded, leaning away and rubbing his jaw. “Okay…okay, okay, okay…fuck!” he shouted, kicking a silver trashcan so it fell onto its side, spilling its contents onto the carpeted floor.

I jumped, a little gasp escaping me. Everything seemed so strange, like it wasn’t real. I felt delicate. I felt like one wrong move and I’d break for real. Jungkook, noticing my reaction, turned to me with wide eyes and approached me too quickly. I stumbled back a half-step, but my heel caught in the train of my dress and I fell straight on my tailbone. Crying out in pain, I winced and squeezed my eyes shut.

Jungkook looked horrified above me, brows knitting and hands outstretched like he might have hugged me if he could. His eyes were glassy. “I-I’m not…I’m not gonna hurt you-,” he began, but his words were cut short by the large door from which we’d emerged sliding open once again.

And from that door, Kim Taehyung.

Upon taking in the scene before him, Taehyung’s eyes went wide and his jaw clenched. Without a second thought, he lurched toward Jungkook and grabbed him by the collar, roughing up his suit. I stared from the floor, all the strength I’d summoned to come here in the first place fleeing through my cold fingertips. My tears were still wet against my cheeks, and as Taehyung’s nostrils flared I watched Jungkook go slack in his hands.

“What the hell’s wrong with you, huh? You still gonna act like a thug at a black-tie event?” asked Taehyung, spitting his words.

I came to my senses and jumped to my feet, quick to run toward the boys and paw at Taehyung’s suit sleeves, desperate to stop him before anyone got hurt. “Taehyung stop! He didn’t do anything-,”

“Feeling betrayed because she lured you here?” asked Taehyung, soliciting a glare from Jungkook that only made him chuckle. “Well, you can only use a person so long before they snap.”

“Taehyung,” I said, warning in my voice, yanking him by the arm.

But he was stronger than me, resisting my force. “What’d you think, huh? She’d come running to you after all you’ve done?” he asked, smirking. Something dark swam in the browns of his eyes. “Stupid.”

“Taehyung!” I shouted, forcing him to look at me as I furrowed my brow. “He didn’t hurt me. I fell on my own,” I said. I gripped my nose bridge, my tears having temporarily taken a hiatus, and sighed. “If any of you would just listen to me-,”

“Vante?” asked a deep, male voice from the ballroom doors.

I turned to meet the person, Taehyung still poised with his arms on Jungkook’s lapels, and saw someone vaguely familiar. It took me several moments of squinting to remember who it was. With a start, it came to me: the man from the club. The one whose suit I’d ruined. Tonight he wore an impeccable set, wide shoulders and clean lines, black-and-navy pinstripes. He looked like someone out of The Sopranos. I swallowed hard and glanced up to see Taehyung also frozen.

Jungkook, using the distraction, shook Taehyung off with a scowl, straightening his jacket. He wouldn’t look at me. But when his eyes met with the man’s they went wide and he scoffed, crossing his arms.

That’s right. He was supposed to supply Jungkook with tickets to this event…

Who was he then?

Taehyung turned to him with a polite grin, dusting off his jacket. “Hello,” he said gently, bowing.

The man held out a hand for Taehyung to shake and the two exchanged a smile. “It’s an honor to finally meet you,” he said, then laughed. “And to think, here of all places.”

Taehyung raised his brows. “I…don’t follow?”

The man laughed. “Oh, pardon me. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Younghoon from Sanyo Industries.”

I stiffened, edging closer to the exit. It seemed Jungkook had the same idea, and the two of us took tiny steps backwards while Taehyung and this Younghoon conversed. I eyed him sidelong, and this time he finally met my gaze. He lifted his brows and swiftly glanced toward the large glass doors behind us, leading to freedom. Like an invitation to run with him.

This time, I took it.

As silently as we could, the two of us slipped out into the blistery night. I watched as Jungkook eased the door closed with a cringe, likely praying it wouldn’t make a sound. With a sigh, he stood up straight once the door had clicked back in place, patting his pants down as they’d gotten mussed up during his scuffle. And then suddenly, we were alone once more.

I wrapped my arms about myself and shivered, glancing to the side toward the bustling street. At the other entrance, guards still maintained their post. I fished around my bag for my invitation and found it once more. At least if I had to, I could return to the gala.

Jungkook was the first to break the thick silence. “So…Vante knows we’ve been watching him.”

I nodded, sighing. “You can’t be too mad at me,” I said with a shrug. “You have been manipulating me for three months.”

All was lost anyway. At this point, my relationship with Jungkook was unsalvageable, if that was even something I wanted at all. And I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to associate with Taehyung anymore. For someone who was so very appalled by Jungkook using me, he sure used me with ease…

Jungkook nodded, running his fingers through his hair. “Fuck…,” he whispered with a sigh.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

He glanced up at me, scanning me. “Will it mean anything if I say how deeply sorry I am?”

I shrugged. “I dunno.”

He nodded and rubbed slow circles into his sharp jawline. “Wanna get something to eat? There’s a McDonald’s a few blocks down,” he said, jerking his chin toward it.

I sniffled, rubbed beneath my eyes, and nodded. “Yeah.”

I sat with my lips wrapped around the straw of my milkshake, eyes faraway as they settled on the worn plastic table separating me from Jungkook. He barely touched his chicken nuggets, and a large order of uneaten fries sat between us. All around, people bustled and chatted. It seemed we were the only two in the whole place that were melancholy enough not to eat the food we ordered.

“Everything’s kinda gone to shit, huh?” asked Jungkook quietly, poking a nugget with his slender index finger.

I nodded. “It was unsustainable anyway, wasn’t it?” I asked with a sigh, taking a sip and shutting my eyes. “All the lies had to come out eventually.”

“I’m surprised you’re not more mad,” said Jungkook.

I opened my eyes to look at him and he seemed near tears himself. I simply sighed. “I was mad,” I said with a nod. “At first, I was really mad.”

“And now?” he asked, eyeing me.

“More than anything…hurt,” I said with a nod. “I really loved you, Jungkook.”

“I know,” he said with a sigh.

I shrugged. “But then I realized…I didn’t even know you to begin with. The person I lost when I realized you’d been lying to me…didn’t even exist to begin with.”

“Don’t say that,” he said quietly, shaking his head.

I rested my cheek in my hand, the laughter and the yellow fluorescent lights nearly drowning out my voice. “If it hurts you so much, why did you do it?” I asked. “To ruin Vant-er, Taehyung?”

Jungkook sighed and pushed his nuggets away altogether, leaning back and crossing his arms. “It’s not Vante we were after.”

“We…I’ve known for a while, but Seokjin is in on it too, right?” I asked, raising my brows.

He nodded. “I shouldn’t be telling you this since you’ll tell Vante but, since we’re fucked anyway…,” Jungkook said with a sigh. “It’s my job. Seokjin recruited me after my dad…,” he began, then sighed and waved his hand. “Anyway, Seokjin poached me off the street since I was doing…some unsavory work at the time and told me he could give me safer work.”

I furrowed my brow. “What kind of work?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Usually petty shit. Scouting out a rich woman’s cheating husband, helping local gangs defend their territories, blackmailing company heads…not particularly legal, but we’ve done some job for city police officers so they turn a blind eye.”

“We…?”

“There’s a lot of us. Like…ranks,” he said with a shrug, glancing to the side at a couple sharing a Flurry, smiling as they talked in low, intimate tones. “I’m high up. So is Seokjin. I mean, he kinda has to be since he’s our founder.”

I nodded, sipping the thick milkshake. I felt like I might puke. “It’s not legal…,” I urged.

He chuckled, and for some reason his smile put my stomach at ease. “Of course not,” he said, glancing at me with that same smile.

I swallowed, running a hand through my hair. “I…see…”

“Do you hate me now?” he asked quietly, almost a whisper.

I stiffened and glanced at him. Vulnerability made his eyes glassy and his cheeks flushed. “No, Jungkook,” I said, rubbing my temples as a tension headache began to grow. “If I did, my life would be much easier.”

He nodded. “I understand,” he said. “And…if you weren’t such a good person, you wouldn’t even be giving me the chance to explain. I feel like even now…I’m taking advantage of you.”

I sighed. “I’m here willingly, Kook. And besides, I think after all this I deserve some answers at least.”

“There’s a lot I can’t tell you,” he said, shaking his head. “About why we targeted Vante, about who hired us. I could lose a lot more than money. But…I’ll answer your questions as well as I can.”

I pushed my shake away. “Did the guilt make you crazy?” I asked.

He stiffened, like I’d surprised him, and cleared his throat. He rested his cheek in his hand and looked down at the table, avoiding my eyes. “Every day.”

“Why didn’t you just…stop then? At any point?” I asked. I chewed on my cheek, old hurt seeping through my voice. “I saw your texts with Seokjin while we were visiting my dad. He gave you an out.”

Jungkook’s eyes flashed up to meet mine before quickly departing. “I…I knew that once the job was over…I’d have to stop all communication with you.”

“Are you even a student?” I asked.

His eyes went wide. “O-of course!”

I nodded. “That’s good then,” I said.

“But…,” he hedged, scratching his arm. “That class we took together…I only took it because you were taking it.”

My eyes went wide. “E-Excuse me?” I asked, heart thundering.

He groaned, lolling his head back. “God, it’s all so shitty,” he whined. “We have an intel agent who’s, like, godly at hacking. He…got your schedule and Seokjin pulled some strings with the registrar to get me in.”

“It was all…all a lie?” I asked, tears brimming once more.

He sniffled, rubbing his swollen, red eyes. “Yeah,” he said, and it sounded like a cry.

I wasn’t sure why a wave of fresh hurt washed over me, sweeping me away in the undercurrent, but my stomach was twisted in knots and my heart ached like I’d been punched. “I…I don’t think I can see you again,” I said, sniffling.

Jungkook’s eyes darted back to me, wide, worried. The color had drained from his face. “What?”

I shook my head. “I…I think it’ll hurt too much to see you,” I said, meeting his eyes. My throat constricted at the pain in his face. “Even looking at you right now,” I began, voice cracking, “I feel like I’m falling apart.” I covered my lips with my hands as more tears streaked down my cheeks.

Jungkook’s lips were agape, eyes wide, and slowly he nodded. “Ah…y-yeah, I…I understand. I did really shitty things t-to you. I wouldn’t really…wanna be around someone like that,” he said, laughing lightly as he rubbed the back of his head and looked away. It was clear he was holding back tears, and for that I was grateful.

If he cried, I knew my resolve would crumble at my feet.

I sniffled, using the McDonald’s napkin to dab my tears, and nodded. “I-I want you to live a good life, okay?” I asked, reaching out to grab his hand in mine.

He glanced at me with knitted brows and nodded. “I will,” he said, voice strangled in his throat.

I smiled, standing to my feet. “I’m gonna go back to the gala,” I said with a sigh, patting my dress as I sniffled. “I’ve got a lot of questions for Taehyung.”

Jungkook stood quickly, our untouched food forgotten, and stared at me, eyes wide. “I can walk you!”

“Jungkook-,”

“Please,” he said, brows knitted, imploring me.

I shut my eyes with a sigh and shook my head, turning on my heel. “Fine,” I said, already halfway to the exit.

The walk back to the venue was long and silent. Old blisters from weeks of working in bad pumps pressed against the thin straps of my new shoes. I’d taken only a brief moment to fix up my makeup in the McDonald’s bathroom, but I knew it wasn’t really salvageable. Like many things, there was no way to bring it back to how it was before.

We approached the entrance once more and, with my eyes on the concrete below my feet, I turned to Jungkook and bowed my head. “Thanks for walking me,” I said quietly, scratching at my arm as my gaze darted around.

Jungkook cleared his throat. “Ah…yeah. Um, thanks for…letting me.”

I nodded, finally lifting my gaze to find him staring down at me. I forced a smile. “Thanks for the last few months, Jungkook.”

He nodded, cheeks red and eyes still glassy. “Mhm,” he said, gently reaching out to take my hand. I let him. “If…if nothing else, I want you to know I’m sorry.”

“I know,” I said, scanning him as he watching his nimble fingers tracing my skin.

“It doesn’t change anything, does it?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No.”

He sighed, shutting his eyes. “I…I could leave it behind, you know.”

I stiffened, staring at him with wide eyes. “You could what?”

He met my eyes, thick brows knitted, and nodded. “I could quit.”

I swallowed hard. The selfish part of me longed to tell him to do it, to encourage him to leave the bad work in the past, to move forward being good. But…then I remembered a few clues. He’d mentioned his mother having to work because his dad wasn’t the best. He said something about his dad before, about when he was working on the street…

Did he have any other options?

I clenched my free hand around my clutch and exhaled, long and slow. “Jungkook…,” I began, eyeing him. “Is that what you want to do?”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing, running a hand through his hair. “Is it what you want me to do?”

A dark nostalgia washed over me. Wasn’t this eerily similar to that conversation we’d had before? When he asked if I was unhappy? “I…I want you to,” I said, then shook my head. “But that’s been a problem all along, hasn’t it?”

He glanced down at me, vulnerability in his eyes. “Huh?”

“You’ve always been tailoring yourself to me,” I said, unlacing our fingers so I could press a palm to his hot cheek. “Because you needed me for the job…you’ve molded yourself into my perfect guy. I wonder if you’ve ever been alone with yourself long enough to know who you are.”

He furrowed his brow. “Are you saying it’s okay if I keep working?”

I sighed, letting my fingers feather across his jawline. “I’m saying that what I want more than anything is for you to know yourself well enough to know what you want.”

He inhaled sharply, shoulders pinching, and took my hand once more, pressing it against his lips without moving them. “We’re gonna have to find a new angle since Vante’s out,” said Jungkook, lifting his eyes quickly toward mine. There was a hunger there that made my heart race. Hungering for what?

“I figured,” I said with a nod. “Are…are you gonna hurt anyone? Doing this?”

He sighed, shutting his eyes and resting his lips once again against my knuckles. “I hope not,” he began, shaking his head. “But there’s no victimless crime.”

“And you’re okay with that?” I asked, quiet.

He swallowed hard. “Have to be.”

Before I could say another word, a couple of guests stumbled out of the door behind us, clearly inebriated as they were escorted out by security. They fell in heaps on the concrete outside, mumbling as they dusted themselves off. And, like a broken spell, my senses returned to me and I slowly pulled away, letting my hand drop to my side. Jungkook opened his eyes to look at me, and there was a sad understanding in the way his eyes narrowed slightly.

I shook my head, watching the ground. “I’m gonna go inside.”

“Alright.”

“I…I think it’s best if you lose my number.”

“I understand.”

“And,” I said, taking a half-step back toward the venue, tears making my throat constrict, my voice heavy, “please take care of yourself.”

He nodded, smiling softly, and raised a hand to wave me off. “I will,” he said.

“Goodbye, Jungkook,” I said, voice barely above a whisper.

He turned halfway toward the street and nodded his head once, still smiling, before turning on his heel and retreating down the sidewalk with his hands jammed into his pockets.

It took me a few quiet moments standing dumbly outside the Exhibition Center to realize he didn’t say it back.

When I returned to the ballroom I saw Taehyung surrounded by swarms of people, his cheeks flushed as he smiled brightly for each of them. Quietly, I ordered a drink from the bar and took a few sips, watching him from a distance. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say to him. Not only had he been lying to me, he’d taken advantage of my relationship with Jungkook to further his own agenda. While I would have been supportive from the start, the deception was what bothered me. And something else, something deeper.

The lack of agency.

I felt much like a chess piece being forced across the board by many, invisible hands.

As Taehyung chatted, I saddled up to a barstool and sat down, rubbing my sore ankles with a wince. “Rough night?” said a voice from beside me.

I opened my eyes and glanced toward the voice. A young man, maybe a few years my senior, with warm brown eyes, sideswept silver hair, and dimples on either cheek gazed at me gently. I bowed my head in greeting which he returned. With a sigh, he shucked off his coat, seemingly having just arrived at the bar himself. He waved over the bartender who was quick to fix him a drink, not even asking his order once.

Another important man.

I scowled and nursed my own drink, sipping lightly. “You can’t even begin to imagine,” I said, frowning at the amber liquor.

He laughed. “Try me,” he said, still smiling. “Tonight hasn’t really been my night either.”

I eyed him. The idea of someone else being just as miserable as me was enticing. “How so?”

He hummed and took a deep swig of his drink, cocking his head to the side before shrugging. “Well, I found out some concerning news about my friend,” he began, counting on his fingers as he went. “I bought this new suit for tonight, but the sleeves are too short.” I chuckled, relief streaming through my veins as a brief flash of comfort came with it. He smirked. “And nobody even cared about my speech because of Tae-er, Vante,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “Wasn’t even that good of a speech,” I mumbled.

He laughed. “You don’t like him?”

I shook my head. “He’s my friend,” I said, then sighed. “At least he was. Turns out he’s been keeping a lot from me.”

“Ah,” said the young man with a knowing nod, tipping his drink against his lips. “You didn’t know?”

“You did?”

He gave me a wink over the rim of his glass. “Of course,” he said, then leaned closer with a smile. “I knew him before he was Vante.”

I stiffened and turned toward him, giving him my full attention. “You did? How?”

“We worked at a bookstore together-god, was it five years ago? He was eighteen,” he said with a scoff. “Couldn’t even describe the amount of stars in his eyes. The optimism kinda got beat outta him those days, working all day and night. But he kept at it.”

“It paid off,” I said.

“And then some,” added the man with a laugh, swirling his drink in his hand. “He helped me when I was really struggling. Anyway, he’s a good friend. Maybe my best friend.”

I eyed him. “And…he’s a good person right?” My voice was small as a mouse.

The man laughed, shaking his head at me. “What would ever make you think he wasn’t?” he asked. “Taehyung is one of the best people I know.”

I sighed, relieved. “And I can trust him?”

The man smiled at me, giving my upper arm a brotherly pat. “He’s still young and headstrong, maybe a little hotheaded…but I’d trust him with my life.”

I nodded, offering a smile. “Thank you,” I said.

He shook his head, and seemed about to speak again, but noticed something behind me that made him quickly stand to his feet. He was tall and lean, more imposing than he seemed sitting, and he quickly collected his things to leave.

He gave me a quick grin before patting my shoulder. “I gotta blast. Man of the hour’s coming this way and I’m not feeling quite ready to face his fan club.”

My eyes went wide and I turned to find that, indeed, Taehyung was making his way over toward me, surrounded on all sides by guests who simply wouldn’t leave him alone.

I returned my attention back to the man and gaped as he began rushing in the opposite direction, waving over his shoulder. “Traitor!” I called after him, to which he only laughed and jogged away, his jacket draped over his forearm.

As Taehyung finally approached me, I was quick to stand myself, facing him with a cocked brow as the crowd parted to make way for me. “Hey,” he said, breathless, with a smile.

I nodded, eyeing the group around him. “Quite the celebrity.”

He chuckled and rubbed his neck. “I guess so,” he said. “We…uh, we should talk, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said, smiling at the group as I wrapped my fingers around Taehyung’s bicep. “Pardon me, but I’m going to have to steal Mr. Vante for a few minutes.”

A few in the group chuckled, good-natured as they likely wanted to make a good impression, and I led Taehyung by the arm toward a less crowded corner of the ballroom. Far from prying eyes and ears, the two of us stood close as he offered an almost bashful smile. Gone was the cocky, angry guy who had nearly caused a fight with Jungkook only an hour earlier. In his place, a blushing boy who couldn’t so much as look at me straight on.

“So you’re Vante?” I asked.

He chuckled, nodding as he glanced at his polished black shoes. “Yeah,” he said, then snapped his eyes up to meet mine, worried. “I’m sorry I lied! I just panicked because I didn’t want you to think I was creepy.”

“And now?”

He chuckled and looked toward the portraits on the wall. “Well…now there are things that I need to protect and this was the only way I could do it.”

“Protect what?” I asked, surprised by my own stern tone.

He turned wide eyes to me as I crossed my arms. “Well, you and…other things,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna involve you anymore. I’m assuming you saw Jungkook out?”

I nodded, eyes drifting to the tiles below my feet. “Yeah,” I said.

“That must’ve been hard for you.” There was a tender understanding in his voice, like he knew.

“You didn’t make it much easier,” I said, shaking my head. “Seriously, Taehyung? Attacking him out there? What was that about?”

He shook his head. “I thought he was hurting you,” he said, brows knit.

“He wouldn’t do that. And besides, I kept trying to tell you-,”

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, once again cutting me off.

I stiffened, holding in my breath for a moment before exhaling slowly. “It’s…fine,” I said with a shrug. I turned to him once more. “What’s not fine, though, is what you did tonight. You didn’t tell me anything. You let me lead him here, blind, and made me a pawn.”

“You weren’t a pawn-,”

“Honestly, is that all it was about tonight?” I asked, scoffing as I leaned away. “You said it was about me getting revenge, but as far as I see it, you’re the only one who benefited.”

“Benefit?” he asked, furrowing his brow. “Do you know how long I’ve been guarding my identity? Do you know how much my privacy means to me?”

I eyed him. “I don’t,” I said, some of the anger leaving my voice. “But the way I see it, you won at my expense. You took away Jungkook’s angle. The only thing he could have possibly had on Vante was the fact that his identity was a secret. Without that, you’ve made yourself untouchable,” I said, shaking my head. “And I was just a means to an end.”

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, frustration clear in his face. “Why are you being like this?”

“Don’t like it?” I asked, cocking a brow. “You’re the one who’s always saying I need to advocate for myself.”

“Listen,” he said, calming down slightly as he rested his palms on my shoulders. “I get that you’re hurt. I shouldn’t have lied to you for so long. And I should have consulted you about the plan. But I knew you wouldn’t be able to reckon with your conscience if you knew you’d be ruining his job and getting him in real trouble, so I had to keep it to myself. But don’t say that I’m the only one who benefited,” he said, eyes imploring me. “You proved you’re not someone to mess around with. And you showed him that you were the one playing him.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and glanced away, rubbing beneath my eyes. “I don’t want to play people, Taehyung.”

“What exactly did you think was going to happen tonight?” he asked softly.

I blinked at him, thinking. “I…guess, maybe we’d…call him out or something? Lure him here and…,” I trailed off. Truthfully, I hadn’t even really paused to consider it. I was too intoxicated by the idea of exacting revenge that I never even asked how we’d do it.

Taehyung sighed. “I’m truly sorry,” he said, and I knew he was sincere.

He’s still young and headstrong, maybe a little hotheaded…but I’d trust him with my life.

I sighed and my arms fell to my side along with my defenses. Slowly, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my cheek against his chest. Stunned at first, it took Taehyung a few moments to return my embrace, but when he did it was warm. He rubbed circles into my back as I struggled not to cry.

“You did really well,” said Taehyung quietly against my hair. “I know it must have been hard to say goodbye to someone you loved a lot.”

I nodded. “Yeah…,” I said quietly. But something was still nagging at me.

Agency.

After all, wasn’t I still just a tool to both of them?

Slowly, I pulled back and smiled gently at him. “Sorry I got mad,” I said.

He shook his head. “Don’t be. I’d be mad too,” he said with a laugh, gently rubbing beneath my right eye with his thumb, likely removing stray makeup.

I sniffled and glanced back toward the heart of the ballroom. The music was still playing softly, and a few drunk guests were swaying around one another. A few of them caught Taehyung’s eye and began moving toward him. Again, I understood that young man’s urge to run. Patting his chest, I slipped past Taehyung, on a beeline for the exit.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Taehyung asked, turning his torso my way.

I chuckled. “Outside,” I said, jerking my head towards the group approaching him. “I don’t think I’m the one they wanna see.”

Before Taehyung could protest, he was once again swarmed and I used his momentary distraction to slip outside, finding myself beneath an awning once I’d left the infamous hallway. I sighed and wandered through the courtyard, past closed shops and dark windows. I paused in an alcove beside the massive SMTown sign that lit up the night sky.

I glanced down toward the building’s entrance and found a figure I vaguely recognized. Jacket-less and tall with spindly limbs, it was the same man from before. I took a few steps toward him, my heels clacking on the ground. I was surprised he didn’t notice me.

Quietly, I approached him with a smile. “K-pop fan?” I asked once I’d reached his side.

He jumped and turned to me with wide eyes, an unlit cigarette hanging between his teeth. “Jesus! Scared me,” he mumbled with a laugh. He raised a lighter to his cigarette and, shielding it with his left hand, struggled to light the end.

I smiled. “Let me,” I said, grabbing for the lighter and angling myself between his cigarette and the breeze that kept snatching his light. Within a few seconds, his cigarette was burning and his eyes were wide, smiling gently.

“You smoke?” he asked, raising his brows.

I laughed. “No,” I said, cracking my knuckles as the two of us stood side-by-side in the empty walkway. If I just took the stairs hidden to the left, I’d be at the subway station, on my way home. “I grew up on a ranch out in the countryside without a lot of modern appliances so I know my way around a lighter.” The man gave me a puzzled look and I chuckled.

He nodded, taking a puff and blowing it out into the night. “Well, at any rate, thanks.”

I shrugged. “Don’t mention it.”

“Did you get to talk to Taehyung?” he asked.

I sighed, watching my hands as I played with the latch on my clutch. “Kinda.” The more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became. Hell, what kind of conversation was it if he wouldn’t even tell me what he had to protect?

The man laughed and eyed me in the navy darkness. “Don’t sound too pleased.”

“Because I’m not,” I said, sighing. “He’s keeping things from me.”

“Are you two that close?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I dunno. Doesn’t really feel like it,” I said, then glanced at him. “I work at his gallery, but he invited me tonight because of some shady shit my boy-er, ex-boyfriend was doing.”

He raised his brows. “You’re Y/N?” he asked, eyes round like saucers.

I stiffened, leaning away from him slightly. He didn’t give me any creepy vibes before, but now in the dark, looking at me in awe with a lit cigarette dangling in his lips, I wondered if I’d been naive to be so trusting.

“Y-Yes?” I asked.

He laughed and my worries were dispelled. He patted his thigh with a disbelieving scoff. “No fuckin’ way,” he said, taking a drag and eyeing me from above. “Well, isn’t this just serendipity?”

I glanced at him sidelong, brows knit. “Have you been looking for me?”

He shook his head. “Nah, just that Taehyung told me about you and your,” he paused to clear his throat and give me a smirk, “ex-boyfriend.”

“What?” I asked, stunned for a moment. “He’s been telling you?”

“Well, it does involve me,” he said, then furrowed his brow. “Hasn’t he told you about why they’ve been targeting him?”

I raised my brows. “No. Nobody will tell me anything.”

The man nodded and smiled gently, glancing back at his wristwatch with a cringe. “Shit, I’ve gotta get back in there. A host can’t be gone too long,” he said, smirking. He fished around in his pocket for a moment before producing a business card. “If you want someone to tell you what’s really going on, give me a call.”

“Host…?” I began, but before I could say much else, he’d turned on his heel and made it several paces away from me, leaving me with the lingering scent of nicotine and confusion. “Wait!” I called, watching his back retreat.

I was about to go after him, but paused beneath the scant light to read his business card, hoping to call him by name. But as I did, I got the sinking, ominous feeling that I was about to become even more enmeshed in this intricate mess.

Kim Namjoon

CEO and Founder

Ori Technologies

XXXX Yeongdong-daero, Gangnam-gu

Seoul, South Korea

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red-sterling · 5 years

Note

thanks for answering!! i hope you don't mind if i send more charas...how about green and/or lillie?

fhgjkfdg aw yea thank u!! hopefully this doesn’t publish before i’m done typing lol

also this definitely needs a readmore bc i got emotional abt Green oops

Green

favorite thing about them

first of all: the fact that Green canonically has a rivals to best friends arc with Red fills me with so much joy and YES they are on their alolan honeymoon you cannot convince me otherwise

okay like. gen 1 Green just perfectly encompasses what it’s like to be a ten year old in a way? like ofc he’s written like a kid bc he is a kid, but i feel like the writing on him just feels so genuine as compared to some of the other 10 yr old rivals you get in other regions. even though he’s kinda a brat at the start, he kinda eases up a bit as you go along your journey and starts giving you progressively nicer/more praise-y end lines when you beat him (going from “i picked the wrong pokémon!” to “so, you are ready for boss rocket!”) but still retains this childlike rivalry and competitiveness and i love that about him

and like. fucking beating him at the Indigo League still completely breaks my heart because even after he did become the champion at age 10 the first thing that happens is you beat him and Prof Oak just yells at him for being bad at things and like. ow.

this is why i headcanon that Red actually took awhile longer to get to Green like please. please give my boy a chance to be happy and proud

also Red was caught up with Team Rocket anyway so i imagine he must’ve fallen a little behind at some point? anyway

the development on him across regions is so choice!!! he’s so much more mellow and even kinda melancholic when you find him in gsc/hgss, like he’s calmed down over a few years and he obviously misses Red so much but like, it’s clear that Red is kinda the reason Green does settle down and he seems to have worked on his character and become a nicer person - and he still has that sassy flair to him! he’s just got that gradual slope from asshole rival to kinda aloof gym leader to friendly/sassy battle legend and aaaaa i love my boy so MUCH

also huge point: he’s so fucking driven??? he’s got the most drive and the most passion for battles/pokémon in general out of all the rivals i feel. he’s only closely matched by Silver, but Silver seems to be more aggressive than passionate, and somewhat out of necessity too (like, Giovanni abandoned him what was he to do), whereas Green just really like. he genuinely just cares so much about battles and about pokémon in general! he literally calls you in hgss and just rants about how many different kinds of pokémon there are in the world!!!

also in Alola he’s like???? just so sweet?????? he congratulates you and is like hey you’re really strong lets battle like!!!!!!!!! supportive boy!!!!! he has come so far over so many generations and i cry

also on Four Island when you play frlg he legitimately says “Be smelling ya!” when he leaves and how do you not love this idiot

least favorite thing about them

i mean. while i get that you beat Green right after he becomes the champion in the kanto games i feel like there should’ve been more pomp and circumstance for him and i’ll never forgive gamefreak for giving this boy his dream, then making you rip it away from him, and then watching his own gramps yell at him for fucking up like. again it’s that drive, i get why Red keeps such good pace w Green but i just feel like he worked so hard and he deserved so much better than that

also while i’m very biased towards him bc Big Emotions, i feel like if i knew this boy irl who was constantly i’m so great and you’re a loser i would probably punch him eventually lmao. in theory it’s kinda endearing but as a real person that’d be grating

favorite line

on one hand, “smell ya later” is so fucking iconic, but on the other -

“I’m Blue. Man, this guy called Red brought me down in a heartbeat. I haven’t seen him in a long time…I wonder where he is and what he’s up to… Come to think of it, you look a little bit like Red. Yeah, you do. Just…Just a little bit. Whatever…”

my namelessshipping heart

ALSO NOT CANON BUT GREEN RANTING TO YOU ABOUT RED AND GETTING SO DISTRACTED THAT HE FORGETS TO GIVE YOU THE POKÉDEX????? BIG GAY

brOTP

for long elaborate headcanon reasons, i see him as being a good brotp with Kris - i headcanon her as also being really driven the way Green is, but more quiet about it, she’s kinda a good balance to him and they probably do pokemon research together. i also feel like she kept him sane while Red was still missing/before they found him on a fuckin mountain

OTP

do i really need to tell you that i’m 100% namelessshipping

like they perfectly balance each other. Green has all this energy and all this spunk and Red is just like… so opposite of him y'know? he’s quiet and he’s more measured in his behavior i feel, he doesn’t really rush into things as much, and yet they both really just took Kanto by storm when they were kids, and i like how they have this foil dynamic and are both still so successful? they’re so different and they complement each other in that way, and they both find success in their own ways

like one of the reasons i hate that Green’s championship gets undersold so much is that he did beat you to the punch, and he has been one step ahead of you, and there’s so much passion there and it’s so loud - and yet you as Red are just as driven, you take down Team Rocket, you’re always right on his tail, so close but not quite there, you’re the only one who can keep up with him and you’re the only one he cares enough about to slow down for

so like. idk with even all my headcanons about namelessshipping aside (and i can infodump those another day lol), i feel like the in-game representation of them just works. they just work so well together, they balance each other without ever holding each other back, and there’s something really beautiful about that in a relationship y'know

…..i feel bad abt not putting as much infodump about isshushipping now but oh well

nOTP

i don’t really have a notp with him? i kinda like. i basically just do namelessshipping, but i don’t get a visceral eugh when i see other ships with him, just kinda a well it’s not nameless so i’ll be on my way. idek what other ships w him are popular?? i’ve been in nameless hell since 2012 so

random headcanon

while Red is still living on Mount Silver, Green is not coping well with having him so far away, and so Green massively overworks himself to the point that he keeps just not being in his gym sometimes bc he’s bouncing between the gym, training multiple teams, pokémon research, and ofc going to visit Red whenever he can. this leads him to be kinda temperamental after he’s been working on 2 hours of sleep a day for like a week until he just has an emotional meltdown and crashes, and then he gets right back into it because he has no self preservation

…….. nicer headcanon; Red can only cook two (2) foods, so Green cooks all the food for them when they move in together. he has attempted to teach Red how to cook, but Red pretends not to understand so Green will keep making him food. Green knows Red is faking it and doesn’t call him out bc he thinks it’s cute

unpopular opinion

look i’ve played through classic red version a few times and when i say he wasn’t that much of a jerk, i do genuinely mean he was not that much of a jerk. he’s like ten. ten year olds are just Like That. i guess this isn’t too unpopular anymore but it was Back In The Day and in some parts of the fandom he’s still seen as a jerk and like Bro He Is Ten In RGB/FRLG cut him some slack

also genuinely unpopular - Green is taller than Red. i know namelessshipping has fallen into the bara Red and twink Green trope but i refuse to let go of tall Green/short Red fuckin fight me why dont you

song i associate with them

a lot of the Pray For The Wicked album by Panic! at the Disco gives me Green vibes, more for the sound than for lyrics necessarily, but for some reason Roaring 20s just like. has the sound of Green to me. it’s somewhere between flamboyant pride and underlying insecurity that i think really encapsulates Green (or at least his subtext)

favorite picture of them

i genuinely love his let’s go concept art he’s such a sweet good boy??

and for the life of me i cannot find the op source on this but this is my fave pic of Green/namelessshipping in general that i’ve had saved since like 2012 maybe???

yeah if anyone can help me source that i’d appreciate it bc reverse image search only brings me to pinterest and random wattpad links :/

update: source seems to be the artist くる (pixiv id=982894) on pixiv, even though the original post got taken down (ty anon!)

Lillie

favorite thing about them

by now i guess you know im a sucker for character development, but i think they did a really good job with her!! i feel like her turn is a bit more in moments than it is with Green, who gradually evolves (lol) over the course of Kanto/all the gens overall. you see more discrete moments where Lillie starts to shift and gain confidence in herself and i am so proud of her ???? like the way she gets excited when she sees Olivia doin’ her z-move stuff, she starts buying her own clothes and getting ahead of you, etc etc

and like, she still has moments where she’s scared, there’s still some fundamental Lillie in there yknow? you don’t lose any of that softness that characterizes Lillie, she just like… she gets better, she develops without losing her Lillie vibe and i love that abt her. she overcomes a lot of the shit she had to deal with when she was stuck with Lusamine, she stands up to Lusamine eventually, and ghfdkjsg gah she’s a sweet gorl i love and appreciate her

also like. the writing on her backstory is so subtle in-universe. like yeah she literally looks like Lusamine’s daughter and you see her in the opening cutscene leaving Aether, but as the protagonist - like as Selene lets say, there’s little hints about where Lillie came from, and if you suspend your disbelief and put yourself in the pc’s shoes, there’s subtly to her character arc that i like

also like. when she changes her outfit and starts being more protagonist-y, like more confident and kinda bubbly instead of shy??? love that shit it’s so cute can i have custody of this child pls

least favorite thing about them

i like. sometimes feel like she’s too soft of a character for me to really get into? like i love her and Hau, they’re sweet good friends, but i tend to personally gravitate towards characters that create a little more tension (ie Green and N)

(though on that note, Hau can be kinda savage. he just calls Faba out and sarcastically calls Gladion “a ray of sunshine” at some point i think?? Lillie is just very tender and i will support her forever, but i think that also makes her almost too soft to keep me fixated on her yknow. it’s not even a flaw in her character but just not something i fawn over as much)

favorite line

“I’m so glad I got to meet everyone. I’m so glad I got to meet you.”

like that ending kills me but that line almost feels like. I Feel That So Much like i feel so happy to have met all these new characters and to have played these games, and i feel like some of the player’s energy and enjoyment of the game is channeled into this last line of hers

also GET IN THE BAG

brOTP

probably her and Hau?? idk, i don’t have a specific brotp for her but i like her just hangin around w the other Alola kids, so like her, Hau, Gladion, and the protag kids. they’d raise hell together and Lillie continues to be the only one with some impulse control

(Gladion also has some impulse control but keeps getting annoyed by Hau and so he gets dragged into their nonsense anyway)

OTP

Selene and Lillie is. Good. idk what the ship name is but it’s canon

nOTP

i dont even know if people ship her with Gladion but incest is a big no-no in my house

random headcanon

when she goes to Kanto, i bet she’d pick Bulbasaur as a starter if she was given the opportunity - and if not, she’d probably catch a wild Vulpix

unpopular opinion

idk if have any unpopular opinions for her??

song i associate with them

i have no reason to associate this with her but the Rainy Day theme from acgc just. has a vibe about it. i think a lot of ac music feels like it suits her

favorite picture of them

i found this art of her through a lofi remix of her theme awhile back and it’s so pleasing to look at? her hair is nice and the colors are so warm n happy gjhkfdgf

if you read this far, congratulations!!! and i’m sorry

#thank u for asking again and i'm sorry this took so long and *is* so long lol #sterling content #Anonymous

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ardentlythieving · 5 years

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HEWWO EVERYBODY IT’S END OF YEAR RECAP TIME WITH ME: UR PAL ARDO

First of all if ur reading this, merry christmas if u celebrate it and happy holidays if u don’t!!! Y’all are amazing people and I hope this time of year is a good one for you, and if it’s not I hope you find the time to do smth nice for urself!!

Dam this year has been crazy tho. I mean if ur dash is anything like mine you’ve prob seen all those posts talking about how long this year has felt re: the sheer amount of stuff happening. But on a more individual level there’s some stuff I wanna say I guess so in no particular order here is my Thoughts™ coz there’s been some good, some bad, and some weird this year.

So, this year has been a kind of wild one for me in terms of things changing. The big one being that I started university and kinda lost contact with most of my pals from high school. All goods tho, coz I met some amazing new people thru tabletop gaming who idk if I’m at the friends point with yet, but I defo wanna try and get there coz they’re cool as heck. It’s true what people say that starting university is a big change coz DAM things have been wild and hopefully are gonna keep being wild next year espc coz one of my online friends is moving down to start at my university and I’m super excited to meet her in person!! Speaking of meeting people in person I finally got to hang out with @chipmunkwithwings at her place and that was one of the highlights of my year for sure! She’s a super cool person and that week was just utterly brilliant.

Anyways while we’re on the topic of friends this year sure has been exciting for that as well. I’ve made some amazing new ones, gotten closer with some older ones, had some drift apart and thru it all I’ve learnt something important. Namely that, there’s nothing wrong with the friends I had before, but I’ve felt so much better and it’s just been so much healthier for me now I’ve also started pursuing and focusing on friendships with people around my age. It sounds weird to say, but despite having a good collection of close friends there was a part of me that was lonely, and that part has kinda stopped being so much now not all my friends are 10ish years older than me.

That’s one thing I’ve discovered, but this year has been a big one for discovery for me. I tried a bunch of different papers and found out that I hate international relations and love philosophy. I’ve started learning Swedish!! And probably the biggest and most important discovery: thanks to my friends telling me “dude you really need to do this” I’ve gotten on anti-depressants!!! Which have really been helping me so much. That’s probably.... my biggest regret is that I didn’t get on them a few years ago. Still, I’m on them now and my head is just working so much better. Also, and I’ve talked about this in an earlier post so if you wanna kno deets you can go read it, I properly I guess remembered? stopped repressing? how a friend abused me a few years ago and started working thru the issues I have because of that.

At this point I’m gonna put things under a cut coz this is where shit is gonna get long.

Some letters, to the people I’ve known this year. I know a LOT of people so I’m prob gonna not mention anyone so if I don’t mention you: I love y’all. Ur so so fucking brilliant all of u and I’m honored to know you and to have had this chance to be in contact with y’all. I’m deeply sorry for any way I might have wronged you over this year, and if any of you wronged ME I forgive you entirely. If any of you haven’t really talked to me, but want to; or if we’ve drifted outta contact and you wanna pick things back up or ANYTHING at all feel free to msg me anytime. My discord is ardentlyThieving#4893 and this is an open invitation to anyone reading this coz there’s a ton of cool ppl on here who I haven’t talked to as much as I’d like. Anyways onto the individual stuff.

To the afternoon gang. You guys all mean so so fucking much to me, more than probably anyone else. Ur my best support network, my greatest pals. Being friends with you all is a fucking delight. I know I’m not always active in our server, but trust me that it’s nothing on you. I’ve enjoyed every moment hanging out with you guys. Or well, most of them at least :P. We have the wildest conversations and trust me, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know some of you guys have had a hard time this year and I’m so sorry that you guys are going thru that shit coz y’all deserve so much better. It’s my deepest hope that next year is a good one for all of you and if there’s every anything I can do you guys know where to find me. I love you so so so so so much and I hope these last few days of 2018 are as good for you as they can possibly be.

To the people of Eff’s servers. You guys are super duper cool. Being salty with y’all is so much fun and also so deeply annoying that people keep pulling this shit that we gotta be salty about. I love the fact that we can go from shitty meme posting (usually my fault) to having in depth n thoughtful conversations about just about anything (hopefully usually not my fault). Y’all are amazing people and it feels like you’ve all found urselves a bit more this year, which I’m so happy for you about.

To Sakshi. That’s right, u get an individual one. Ur like, my hero. Srsly dude the fact that ur so fucking patient with the utter dumbasses msging you and that u started this whole deep conversation that ur not backing down from? I’m so proud of you, I admire you so much, and you have my utmost support. Hmu if you ever need me to drag someone for you. Also i’m sorry to out you as a gamer to the fine people of tumblr dot com (actually I’m not that sorry) but it’s been so much fun playing swtor with you. And salt watching things with you. I love how fun our friendship is and also how we can have proper deep conversations like 10/10 A+ content.

To Hammi. Dude you are awesomesauce. My fave lesbian pal. I love memeing with you and gaming with you and chatting with you. Here’s to another great year broski!

To Clare. We’ve only just met at the very end of this year and I’m so glad we did. Ur super cool and funny and I love ur art n posts.

To my swtor guild. Another group of wonderful people who I’ve only just met. i’m so fucking excited to get to know all of you better coz y’all have such great swtor opinions and are so much fun to play with. Sorry about what I did to the Gizka flagship bridge lmao.

To Sofa. DUDE HI! becoming friends with you this year has been one of the highlights. Thank you for all the support you’ve given me and for all the fun times we’ve had. I adore playing video games with you and I fucking love ur swtor ocs. You’ve been there for me so much, and I hope I’ve been there for you as well. Thank you for everything.

To Marie. Yet another person I met later on this year and haven’t had the chance to get so close with. Defo my bad there I need to msg you more often. Thanks for being there for me, even though I was kind of a shitty friend to you at one point. I didn’t deserve ur patience but you gave it to me anyway and I’m so fuckin grateful for that. I hope to make that up to you in the coming year. <3

To Jason. We were tight at the start of the year and kinda drifted apart which I regret. Msg me anytime dude and if you ever reinstall swtor you should totally hmu coz playing it with you was a ton of fun!!

To Traya. I know we’ve only talked on and off this year, but I’m so excited for you to be at my university and to hang out in person!! Hang in there dude, coz there’s so many cool people for you to meet and take it from me that university really is so much better than college.

Ok this is where the happy positivity ends!! Again I love y’all so much and I hope that next year is better for all of you then this one was!!! Thanks for being pals with me, I appreciate it so much even when I’m not great at showing it.

Coz there’s one more letter I gotta write coz after however many years I want closure. This is where it ends.

To Teri. Wow. I never thought I’d be saying ur name again. Well typing, but w/e. That first year we were friends was so fucking good and I’m glad we had that, coz you were a pretty cool person. I dunno why you decided to change all that and start hurting me and I’m probably never gonna understand but you know what? That’s ok. I don’t need to. You hurt me, I got out. I’m not sure, but I think you were being hurt by people as well and I hope you got out like I did. No matter how badly you treated me you still don’t deserve to be abused urself. Nobody deserves that. I don’t know if I forgive you, and I don’t know if I ever will, but I hope things are better for you now. I’m sorry for the times I wronged you while we were friends. This isn’t me saying I deserved to be abused by you, because I sure as hell didn’t, but well. Two wrongs don’t make a right and ur abuse doesn’t magically erase the times I wasn’t the greatest friend. I thought ignoring the things you did to me would make things better, but instead I let it all fester inside me and change my behaviour without realizing that’s what happened. So this is me letting go of it all. Coz you don’t get to fuckin take anything else away from me. I’m better now than I was then despite everything you did to me. This is me, making a conscious choice to heal and move on and grow. It’s not gonna be easy, but imma do it and it’s gonna be so fucking wonderful. This is Arden signing out because you don’t GET to have any control over my life anymore. Never ever again.

#ardently original #happy long ass christmas post lads

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shoushatohaisha · 6 years

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review: hajimari no kyojin (osaka 6/1)

so. hello. i usually write up my butai thoughts as, um, 100+ tweet threads in the immediate wake of whatever i just saw, but this time around i thought i'd work them out into a proper report, of a sort. if you, too, have seen this show already and want to talk about it... please. any time. always.

about reviewing: this is my very favorite 2.5D franchise, ever. but this is also a review, not a cheerleading exercise, so not every single thing i have to say is unrelentingly positive. having said that, i respect kinoshita, wada, suga-zachou, and the staff at large more than just about any creative team in this corner of japanese theater fandom so like. i'm not here to drag, lol.

about spoilers: i talk about the plot elements covered but try to avoid spoiling any of the fun production surprises. :) happy to do a more spoilery play-by-play later if folks are curious.

about length: i just checked and it's 2400 words im so sorry.

without further ado...

first of all, i admit that based on the preview clips i doubted, and i was swiftly taken to task for doubting. IM SORRY WORRY-SAN i trust u implicitly and i should have known better. after the major changes in shinka no natsu, i was concerned that bringing back the revolving stage and the original opening theme would feel stale/regressive. it did not. while they did bring back the revolving element they also extended the stage backward and added a second level behind a full stage height projection screen – the second level was used to do some neat staging for flashbacks/parallels and the screen was used to, how shall we say this, up their projection game in a major way, which i frankly did not think was possible. i will not spoil the details but it was pretty great, on a purely technical level.

i also realized that a lot of the repetition – opening with the bike scene, bringing back the original opening credits music, the staging, etc – is the "look back" over the last couple years that i'd expected to come this fall. they are very obviously already preparing for the end – you could think of this as part one of their last show, with the fall as part two. the show opens with a restaging of sixth grader hinata seeing the little giant on tv for the first time – then the current karasuno team take the place of the tv and hinata joins them for a team jog. "karasuno, fight!" "oh!" "fight!" "oh!" only then each character calls out their signature line from the show so far. "uchi no renchuu wa chanto tsuyoi" / "mou tobenai karasu nante yobasenai" / "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!"

and haha. let me tell you. BOY, DID I FEEL THINGS. a lot of things. i think yachi got me the worst but they were all real bad. (i have so many feelings about yachi's story and what a beautiful job saitou ami did with her character on stage. god. ;_;)

the theme of this play was the role of captain – what makes a good captain, what a captain does for the team, and how to step into those shoes when the captain is gone. the johzenji match is fun, but here, in a sense, it exists more or less to set up the wakutani match – (re)establishing daichi's importance so that his absence feels like the gut punch it is. and fully settling the weight of that responsibility on ennoshita's shoulders, as both daichi's substitute on the court and the captain-in-waiting.

with that in mind, the rival schools: imo it wasn't strictly necessary to cast full teams for each school – each match got its own dedicated act, and unlike, for example, nekoma/datekou in karasuno fukkatsu (which had a similar story structure), there aren't really any individual characters on these rival schools who have a role as such other than terushima and takeru. (you know, the captains. see above. XD) so in theory one could get this done with, like, one actor for each captain and then an ensemble cast playing the rest of the team across both matches. HOWEVER, having all those bodies allows them to do super cool stuff visually, and why force yourself to create the illusion of a full team if you don't have to? i.e., /i/ sure am not complaining, isn't it nice to have $$$ to achieve the max vision of your choreographer. XD

i also have no doubt that the kids playing these other characters are doing whatever they can to create a character within the ensemble, and i suspect there's plenty for repeat viewers to pick up on, esp during say the johzenji match (see below). however for the first time viewer following the main flow of the story it's more or less a very large ensemble cast.

the johzenji chaos was well expressed, haha, there was so damn much going on all the time that i hardly knew where to look. (i've also seen opinions on j-twitter that that diluted the impact and i can see that too – it worked for me as a "funny" match that didn't cross the line into comic relief, but ymmv.) i thought the final scene with misaki would pack more of a punch, but i fully expect them to cry at daisenshuuraku so that might fill in the last 10% that's missing rn.

wakutani are another Good Dance Team. one did get a sense, stylistically, of fukurodani- and nekoma-lite with johzenji and wakunan, respectively – i assume that was intentional. mirroring the cats vs owls match, as it were. yanagihara rin's takeru was like… scary?? i had to rewatch those episodes this weekend to see if i'd just forgotten something, but no, stage takeru is not so much reliable middle brother as scowly quiet tough guy. he looked like a kyoutani tbh, and looking at the kid actually cast for kyoutani, one wonders if someone in casting mixed up some paperwork or something. having said that, yanagihara was great at being the character he was, i enjoyed what he did on stage. i'm just not sure that character was takeru. XD (edit: ok having just rewatched, i have to revise this somewhat, i think a big part of my impression was due to being too far back to properly see his expressions the first time around -- up close he was much smilier, and bc i was thinking about it i noticed some nice details like him going over for a family hug afterward.) otoh big post-match scene – all of wakutani, actually – was really good. v effective, i heard sniffles around me.

during this match, johzenji reappeared dressed as takeru's family: FUCKING HILARIOUS omg, everyone involved has clearly learned how to do this right wrt blocking, the very fine line between comic relief and intrusion, etc, after the, er, shaky shousha to haisha experiment of kuroken doubling as oikawa's fangirls. seichou shita na, errone.

also, some great wire work for hinata and takeru – you could tell kenta is really comfortable up there these days. the first time the wires came into play one of the women behind me went "UWO!" which, when a japanese theatergoer makes a noise out loud, that's a true sign something's impressive. XD

nekoma vs fukurodani: Yeah, That Happened. it is a testament to how well done karasuno vs wakunan was that i didn't just spend the entire time screeching BRING BACK CATS VS OWLS because fjkdajfkdlsfjd KYAA. another good staging moment – they used mirrors to create the effect of two full teams playing at a crowded gymnasium, it was brill. i won't spoil some of the fun details but vvjakdlfjdf. and tbh i think the best performance of the four was probably shouri's?? not that this is news but istg idk how someone so soft offstage does THAT on stage. is it this "acting" thing you speak of.

new bokuaka: i mean it was clear some of this material was meant for yoshimoto kouki and i did kinda miss him – i appreciate higashi-san's pinch hitting and he did a solid job. but. ah well. HAVING SAID THAT. fucking "michi wo tsukurimasu yo" i mean we should all be grateful it wasn't kouki and yuuki or it would have just been a fucking fanfic on stage. it was still bad and i don't even go here. XD

and last but not least, arita ushiwaka kenji: not exactly the world's most natural line delivery but that's fine because, i mean, he's ushiwaka. and his physical presence was perfect. which was about all he was called on to do in this particular show, ahaha.

now, for karasuno. and specifically, for my son, kawahara kazuma. remember what i said approximately a thousand words ago, about captains and captains in waiting and stepping up to the plate? (or onto the court, as it were.) ennoshita's story was the heart of the wakutani match and kazuma carried the second act. he was. so. good. he had good material to work with, of course, but he made it even better. i was saying to a friend that in retrospect i think this is one of the very very few parts of the series that actually played better and more emotionally affecting on stage than in the source material (as opposed to differently good/differently affecting). in the manga/anime, you can only see what the paneling or the frame shows you, and those initial paneling/framing choices are focused on the drama of CAPTAIN DOWN. but on the stage, daichi goes down… and off to the side you see ennoshita freeze. and from that moment on, for kazuma, it's go time. he doesn't let up until the end of post-match scene in (here) the locker room – which, jesus, that scene. it packs ten times the punch it does in the anime. because of kazuma.

sorry if i sound like a crazy person here ahaha. but like. like, imagine you have been acting since childhood, you've studied dance with famous choreographers and innovators, you had a main role in The Franchise That Changed 2.5D as a teenager, you've done a solo album, you have a serious history in performing arts... and you get cast in what was initially the smallest role of the entire karasuno team. and you take it! and pull your weight! kazuma was a team player for three years and he deserved this chance to let his actual skills shine so much. ;_; because i don't necessarily think he would have been better in any of the other roles than his actual teammates – but i do think he is a much better actor than several of his actual teammates. and he finally got the opportunity to show that.

anyway, when it came time for curtain calls, the applause swelled noticeably for kazuma – a louder ovation than anyone except kagechan and kenta. and one of those people clapping her hands off, say in row 20, just a random row choice, was definitely tearing up at the same time.

IN OTHER KARASANEWS. kt-san. LIVE IN PERSON KT-SAN BACK IN THE ROLE HE WAS MEANT FOR cries into my hands i love him daichi-saaaaaaaaaan. very occasionally his delivery reminded me he's a model not an actor, if you know what i mean, but like, for the vast part it didn't matter because he is naturally such a perfect fit. have i mentioned i love him.

new suga: mmmmm. he looked and moved fine but his line delivery did not convince me. tbf it's not like suga has a huge role to play in these matches so 1) it's not a huge deal 2) he didn't get much chance to get into the character. either he'll get better or he won't, and if he doesn't it's not going to sink the next play or anything. he seems like a nice enough kid, i wish him well!

kageyama tatsuya: still can't yell and enunciate at the same time. loved that they brought back the archer analogy from shinka no natsu though!! it was one of my favorite things about his kageyama, and it's nice that it's something he "owns" instead of imitating/inheriting from tatsunari.

tsukishima & yamaguchi: miura kairi continues to get even better, i'm so pleased. <3 also, i love love love that they still use the musical motif from shousha to haisha for yamaguchi's jump float serve. it was the same in shinka no natsu, it's the same here. THE TSUKKIYAMA WAS REAL CUTE, great detail work before and after the serve as well as after tsukki's block(s). as for tsukishima, much as they brought back kageyama's archer imagery, they brought back tsukki's fancy katana kill block. (they didn't waste kondou shouri, either, i'll leave it at that.)

last but not least, MY ACTUAL SON AND FEELINGS TWIN, SUGA KENTA: ok like. to set the scene here. i have mad respect for this kid and also love him to death as a human. i think he puts more thought into this production than anyone else in the cast – he is practically worry-san's AD. and he clearly has a lot of real deep thoughts and feelings about the source material. so deep in fact that it took a while for me to come around to his hinata because while, for example, tatsunari's kageyama could have walked straight off my television screen, kenta went down to the manga and built hinata up from there. he didn't have a choice – he's nothing like murase ayumu's voice. all too often we, and i include myself here, think of the two dimensions in 2.5D as anime, rather than manga... but just as there's a big gap between the two dimensions of animation and the three dimensions of live theater, there's as big a gap again between static black-and-white drawing, and movement and color and sound. and when i looked at kenta's hinata as something created solely from furudate's art style, it all slotted into place for me. (naturally, ymmv.)

it also took kenta longer than some of the others, i think, to portray all of what he wanted to. shoen hinata was pretty yelly, and pretty single-register yelly. hinata is a yelly character, of course, but the balance between that hinata and Serious Match Hinata was out of whack at first. this got better and better with every show. and then—

his encounter with ushiwaka here. was IT. it was what i was looking for all this time. his delivery of hinata's big line there was like – i think maybe i clapped my hands over my mouth, unclear, bc it was like the final missing piece and i was so happy. kentaaaaa. ;____;

part of me wonders if this is what kenta's always had in his head but maybe couldn't get his face/voice to express the way he wanted it? OR, IT'S KENTA, SO MAYBE IT WAS ON PURPOSE and his previous Serious Hinata was meant to be like, just a feral hunger child whereas this is the kid who experienced the heartbreak of losing to seijou. i would love to ask him tbh. XD

anyway, my son, after five plays continues to grow in his portrayal of this character. kenta is the heart of gekidan haikyuu in so many ways, and i will be at their graduation show if it kills me.

(breathes out) i think that's. everything. a best setter award to anyone who read this far, and feel free to ask if there's anything specific you want to know about? i will be seeing it again this weekend for daisenshuuraku and will be sure to report back on who cried, etc. all hail volleyball stage the end. 🏐

#review #engeki haikyuu #hajimari no kyojin #im sorry i have so many feelings #AND THIS IS THE EDITED VERSION #i spared you my intensive theories on how kazuma ended up in this role in the first place #i just #look #i love this production so much

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franeridart · 6 years

Note

Did you know @boku-no-headcanons made cannons for your bakushimanari art?

Nope, this is the first I heard of it! But as long as they’re not reposting my stuff they can do whatever, I’m happy my stuff can inspire them!

Anon said: saw u in youtube rewind congrats

.................. are you sure this ask was meant for me?

Anon said:I tried to message you, I found some accounts using your art if you're interested in knowing who they are :/

Anon said:@sweetheart_kirishima on instagram posted your art without credit.

Unless it’s tumblr, which has a form I can fill specifically for reposts to have the thing taken down, I can’t actually do anything even if you guys tell me. It’s... frustrating, cause you’d think by this point such popular social media sites/apps would have some way for preventing art thefts, but they got no report option that can be used for art unless I’m the copyright owner - does that apply to fanarts when the characters aren’t mine and I wasn’t authorized by the original author to make them? Probably not. So I can’t do anything for it, not even ask the reposter to be kind and take my art down, cause as I’ve already said I’m not on any of those platforms

So I thank you both a lot for having thought about letting me know, but it’s... sort of useless. If you could ask the reposter on my behalf though I’d be incredibly grateful!

Anon said: your kiribaku childhood friends au give me life tHANK YOU

YOU’RE WELCOME THANK YOU FOR LIKING IT!!!

Anon said: Kiri kind of reminds me of Dave with his hair like that! (They would look great together now i think about it haha) I love you and your art, I hope you enjoy creating it as much as i like to look at it :) xx

Thank you!!!!! And yeah, the mohawk is still a mohawk after all isn’t it haha Dav’s is less tidy tho, cause he’s a s l o b (not really)

Anon said:yknow how people have hunkspirations to get fit? your art is my hunkspiration to draw

That’s so nice!!! holy smokes!!!!! I hope your arting is going great, anon!!!

Anon said:the new chapter has me crying over bakukami omfg these lo s e RS I'm so glad they're friends

WHAT A MOOD THO

Anon said:HELLO, YES, I'D LIKE MY HEART BACK PLEASE BECAUSE YOU JUST WRECKED IT WITH YOUR CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU. Kiri is so pretty in it, like oh wow, and Bakugou's brilliant and I LOVE IT. (Also 'manly shit' and 'Katsu,' just slay me now so this happiness never fades).

Ahhhhhh I’m happy you liked it!!!!!!!! And yah Kiri calling Bakugou Katsu is a weakness of mine, did you know that? Maybe you noticed since I always have him do that haha it’s cause it’s written with the kanji for victory! Isn’t that a manly nickname? I like to think Kiri would like it for that haha

Anon said: I love how often (from reading the tags on your art) it's like "oops my hand slipped and now you get some krbk instead of something else" lol

It does happen incredibly often! By now they’re so comfortable to draw for me that I end up drawing them without even realizing haha that’s what happens when you spend a year and a half drawing always the same two kids lol

Anon said:Ah Fran I love your glasses Bakugou so much! Ever since Kami added those shades to his hero costume it has me convinced he'd be so ridiculously cute in glasses too! I hope you enjoy that adorable mental image :)

You mean Kami? He sure would! Kiri would too! Sero also!!! MINA TOO!!!!! Actually we have canon Mina with glasses I think

yup, what a beauty haha

Anon said:Your kiribaku childhood AU killed me! I just wanted to ask: in your opinion if Kiri&Baku met in middle school do you think they’d be friends? Baku has a habit of rejecting anyone who’s “weaker” than him &seeing how kiri was do you think they’d be friends? Or Baku not noticing kiri until he’s his equal?Or maybe having a crush on the cute black haired kid but never doing anything about it? Baku Rejecting kiri if he tried to confess to him?Sorry this is long but I just love your perception of them!

Whether they’d like each other/get along would depends on at which point and in which way they’d meet, I guess! Middle school was a complicated period for both of them, so it really depends - a few examples of how it could go are

they meet cause they frequent the same middle school - that implies they meet during the first year, when Bakugou was still full on bully/cocky asshole. Kirishima probably wouldn’t like him much because of it, would try to fight him. Bakugou might find him annoying/get pissed at how he thinks himself good enough to fight him. Definitely wouldn’t get along at first, might change their minds as they get to know each other or just keep on having a shitty relationship forever. I find more beliavable the first, since they do have really compatible personalities, but Bakugou was really convinced of his position as above everyone else back then and Kirishima would have never let him act like he was better than him without putting up a fight, so maybe not. Might actually fuck up their relationship in highschool too, really

they frequent different middle school, but happen to see each other outside of school before the sludge incident - if they were to meet cause Kirishima got in the middle of Bakugou bullying Deku, not much would change from option one. But if they were to meet for unrelated reasons, they could get along - Kirishima might think Bakugou manly, Bakugou might appreciate Kirishima’s guts (as long as Kiri doesn’t try to fight him). At first the relationship would definitely be unbalanced, because Kirishima would have no way of proving to Bakugou he’s at his same level since he wouldn’t be, but with time this might change. I can see Kirishima throwing himself at random bullies and Bakugou sighing and sometimes waiting for Kirishima to get his ass beat so maybe he’ll learn while other times lazily strolling up till he’s standing next to Kirishima to scare the bullies away. Bakugou’s... Bakugouness might do something to Kirishima’s self-esteem and could have him have his breakdown sooner, but by that point Bakugou might like him enough to do something about it. Or not. He’s still a cocky and self-centered ass at this point, after all. Kirishima’s presence might help with his bullying habit. Or not. Again, still an egoistical and egocentrical fucker at that point. Worse comes to worst, their relationship starts becoming more equal after the sludge incident/kiri seeing gigantomachia

they frequent different middle schools, but meet outside of school after the sludge incident but before kiri sees gigantomachia - this is probably my favorite one as far as them meeting in middle school goes. Bakugou at this point is questioning if he’s actually as strong as he always assumed he was, starting to feel like he needs to prove his worth to the world and himself, while Kirishima is still convinced he’s plain and weak, too scared to actually voice his dreams, but still tries to do his best and help those in need in front of him. If they were to meet at this point, Bakugou might actually find something to admire in Kirishima, find strength in him even - with the down-to-earth optimism and practical positivity, aware of reality but working to fix what he can, not letting circumstances and defeats bring him down. It might help Bakugou put into perspective the sludge incident, instead of just dwelling on it till it became a bomb ready to explode. Kiri would find Bakugou manly and cool, just like in canon, and they’d be able to build a relationship on equal grounds - Kirishima might even open up to him about how he wishes to try for UA, but he’s nearly sure he’s gonna fail. Bakugou might tell him that as he is right now he’s gonna fail for sure. He might also tell him that a quirk is like a muscle, and muscles get stronger if you train them, so just fucking stop wasting time and train yourself till your quirk is worth something, for fuck sake. By the time the event of Kiri’s backstory roll around, Bakugou might actually be there to hold Kirishima up and not let him go through it by himself. I dunno about crushes, but I do love this scenario and the relationship they’d end up having because of it

they frequent different schools, meet after Kirishima’s meeting with gigantomachia - there wouldn’t be many differences compared to the canon version of their meeting, I think. Bakugou might be a little more subdued, maybe, but generally it’d be the same.

these are just real general cathegories, depending on how the meeting unfolds anything might happen so really, who knows - there’s too many possibilities to be sure of anything, really haha

Anon said:fran ur art its so cute ty for posting it!!! also i just wanna say i think your art has improved so much since i started to follow you!! the first drawings of yours i saw were your old aokaga and i think really youve improved a lot!! (not that you were bad at first but your style has evolved?? idk a good word for it but its not meant as a Bad thing)

Lmao no anon, don’t worry, I was really, really bad back then. It was like, super terrible. I’m glad you think I’ve improved though!!!! This sort of asks mean a whole damn lot to me, make it worth keeping on drawing haha thank you!!

Anon said:i gotta admit, after checking out sero's quirk i can only think: pranks. esp with the double-sided tape trick

Have you ever seen this comic holy fuck hahaha

Anon said:i read that fic by newamsterdam a while back and can't stop thinking about it!!!!

Best fic I’m following at the moment honestly!!!

Anon said:Hi I love your art! It's absolutely amazing and your comics are SO cute!! I hope you have a wonderful day!~

THANK YOU!!!! I hope you’ll have a super wonderful day too!!!!

Anon said:your kirbaku/bakushima is just so nice and lovely??? and your art style is great adorable??? gdfljwblk thenks for mi life

You’re SO SWEET!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *holds*

Anon said:The line work in your drawings lately is looking even smoother and more refined than before! :)

.....................I actually feel like I’m getting super effin sloppy so??? I guess hearing this feels good???? Like oh I’m not actually as much of a mess as I thought haha thank you for the compliment!!!! :D

Anon said:Do you think Bakugou would ever say babe or other sweet nicknames?

Yah I think so. Like, not all nicknames, like “honey” probably never or “sweetheart” highly umprobable, but babe or gorgeous/handsome/beautiful or love, I can see him using those! Mostly cause Mitsuki’s personality was obviously based on Bakugou and she calls Masaru “dear”, so I think Bakugou does have the... predisposition for it, let’s say it like that haha he might more whisper them/keep them private, but I do think he’d use them~

Anon said:You're so good at emitting moods/vibes through your art?? Like, every single time you just... Idk what kind of magic you... I love you??? You turn me to putty Fran.

sob this is such a nice ask oh my god, thank you so much!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Everytime I see your art on my dash it makes me smile, there's something inherently cheerful about your art style. Love it

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! That’s the best think I could have ever been told about my style, I’m super glad you see it like this!!!!

Anon said:omg you don't understand how much i love your art !!! i mean i check you blog everyday to see if you posted something and when you do i'm always so happy, it put me in a good mood everytime i don't know how you do it but i love it !!!! also the way you draw smiles is so cute :D

THANK YOU LOTS OH MY GOD!!!!!! AHHH!!!! making people smile is the best thing ever!!! I’m!!!!!!!!!! happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D now I’m smiling hahaha

Anon said:how does... is... clothing folds?!?!

B o y anon I’m terribly sorry but........... the horrible secret is that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing when I draw clothes’ folds. Like, at all. All I keep in mind while going at it is that gravity is a thing and clothes are affected by it too, and that’s about it ;;; I’m incredibly sorry, but I’m pretty sure someone that actually knows what they’re doing would look at my stuff and see a lot of mistakes, so maybe it’s best if I don’t give tips about this to anyone, least I spread more misinformation than anything else orz I’m sure there’s good tutorials for it around, tho!!

Anon said:Will we ever see more comics of the poly au with bokuto, kuroo and terushima? I binged those comics and LOVED it

Probably not, sorry orz posting for hq lately is... making me sad, in the long run, so hq comics might not come around for a long time, from me. Too much time I should spend on them. Dunno about simple art tho, it’s a maybe for that! And thank you for liking the series!!!!

Anon said:As soon as I saw u added the kekkai sensen art sticker to redbubble I bought it omg bless 💕

THANK YOU SO MUCH HOLY HECK!!!!

Anon said:any chance we could expect more of kirishima's shy senpai? absolutely no pressure! i'm honestly just curious since you seemed fond of him a while back. :)

And I still am! I’ll for sure draw more of him soon enough, don’t worry!

Anon said:I'm sooo sad :'( I wanted to buy a mobile case from you but it's just for iPhone.... I love you art so much *-*

There’s for both iPhones and Samsung, actually! But if you have another brand then it’s no good ;;; sorry ;;;;;;;;;;;;

#fran answers #this is #what i get for procrastinating #anyway there's headcanons in here so it's actually less asks then the time it took me to answer them might suggest haha #if i haven't answered your ask I'M SORRY I MIGHT HAVE MISTAKENLY DELETED IT #it happend on my main so might have here too #i definitely read it when it came around #but if it was important for me to answer it then please do send it again! <3 #im sorry for the trouble #as i said #this is what i get for procrastinating orz #anonymous

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zigsexual · 6 years

Text

Theoreticals; part 1 (maxwell x mc)

lol remember when i started this in july and am just now posting it? also remember when i said that i would post it yesterday ha ha ha lol anyway it’s too long for one post so imma break this shit down into PARTS!!!

this is the final companion piece to hypotheticals and empiricals, and honestly if you haven’t read those then u probably should because this one has a lot of plot throwback and also tbh its like very divergent from the main storyline seeing as i started writing it in JULY

summary: the coronation is actually happening feat. private planes, maxwell as a baby????? an unfortunate run in with some potpourri, dancing, drake, and an uber driver

word count: 3700+

Riley paces across her room yet again, halfheartedly feigning an attempt to pack for the upcoming trip to the palace. Her suitcase, empty but for a single black camisole and jeans, is splayed out across her bed next to Maxwell, who is also splayed out across her bed.

“Do you think I should bring my boots?” She asks. “My other shoes have like, no tread, and all of the roads by the palace are old-ass rocks so tread is probably important. And what if it rains?”

“I don’t think it’s supposed to rain,” Maxwell replies, but she’s already tossed the boots in his direction.

“Okay, so if I bring the boots, I need boot socks,” Riley tugs open a dresser drawer, rifling through it. “Except I’m pretty sure I only have red boot socks, and that’s going to clash with all my outfits, so maybe I should just stick with a bootie? Except then the tread is an issue again.”

Maxwell laughs. “Riley, it’s two days.”

She whirls around, brandishing a boot sock. “Yeah, two days in the goddamn palace!”

He breaks his gaze from the ceiling to watch her as she makes another futile pass towards her closet, sitting up and leaning back on his hands. “You really want to keep pretending you’re going to finish this tonight?”

She sighs, dropping her things onto the floor. “It’s already too late to give up.”

“Few more hours won’t hurt.” He reaches over and closes the lid, then holds out his hand. “Come on, let’s go on a walk. You’re all strung out.”

She takes his hand, in spite of herself yet again. Everything about him, about this, is in spite of herself and her better judgment. But it’s midnight on the eve of what may be their last chance at anything, and she doesn’t care that much anymore.

It’s dark in the house, the sconces dimmed, and they walk through the second floor hallways like they have the entire place to themselves. Maxwell is still holding her hand, his other shoved into his pocket, watching the portraits on the walls as they pass.

“Is that you?” Riley asks, pointing at one of the frames. It’s a painting of a boy who couldn’t be more than eight years old, posed like the subject of a renaissance art piece and clearly none too pleased about it. He’s got the same soft brown hair and mischievous eyes as Maxwell, his face dusted with freckles and mouth pulled into a barely concealed pout.

“Oh my god,” Maxwell laughs. “Yeah. That’s… yeah.”

“You were cute.” Riley bumps her hip against his, grinning. He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, looking at the painting sheepishly.

“My parents, they were really into the ‘nobles’ thing,” he says, “You know, ridiculous estates and portrait painting and etiquette classes, all that. I mean, I guess you have to be when you are a noble. I mostly let Bertrand handle that stuff now.”

Riley holds out her free hand and traces the curve of his painted face, the rough brush strokes in sweeping lines under her fingertips. She smiles.

“Bertrand would kill me if he knew I was letting you touch the paintings,” Maxwell says.

“Bertrand would kill you if he knew you were letting me touch you.”

“Touché.”

She steps back from the portrait, squeezing Maxwell’s hand gently. “Your parents, what were they like?”

He doesn’t say anything at first, and she worries she’s treaded into inadmissible territory. She turns to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, you don’t have to—“

“No, Riley,” he smiles, but it’s sad. “It’s fine.”

He looks up at the painting for a long moment, and she wonders how much of that baby-faced boy is still a part of him. He still has those faded freckles across his cheeks, that air of something…. more, like he’s privy to a thousand secrets one could never hope to know. She suddenly wishes he were as much of an open book as he likes to say he is.

“My parents were… well, I guess they’re pretty self-explanatory.”

“What do you mean?”

He’s still got his eyes on the painting, but his jaw is set. “You’ve been in the study.”

“Duh.”

He breaks for a moment, to shoot her a smile, but then he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “So, that’s my dad.”

“The study?”

“Yeah.” He frowns. “We didn’t change anything in there after he died. It just… felt weird. And there’s already all these rooms in this place, it’s not like we needed another one. So now it’s just there, filled with polo trophies and fencing equipment and all that ‘nobles’ shit.”

“And Drake,” she adds, a tentative step towards levity. Maxwell pulls her closer, letting go of her hand so he can slip his arm around her waist. He doesn’t have to say it, but she knows he’s grateful for the reprieve.

“And Drake. Unfortunately.” He looks at her and smiles. “You would’ve liked my mom.”

“Yeah?” Riley smiles back.

“Yeah. Well, I know she would’ve liked you, anyway.”

They make their way down the rest of the hall, passing more portraits and art pieces and the occasional odd sculpture, everything in brocade like something out of her high school history books. She runs her fingers across gilded wallpaper and marble shelves, still marveling at the fact that this, somehow, has become her life.

“What’s New York like?” Maxwell asks her. “I mean, I know what the tourist parts are like, thanks to Liam, but what’s your part like?”

“My part?” She tilts her head. “Uh, not that great, honestly. My part is a shitty studio in Queens with an elevator that doesn’t work, a roach problem, and a toilet that only flushes half the time. I don’t even have a bedframe, I just sleep with my mattress on the floor, and sometimes if I’m lucky, there isn’t a drunk guy peeing on my stoop when I come home from the late shift.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Maxwell says, and the funny thing is that she can’t quite tell if he’s joking or not.

“Can I quote you on that? My landlord keeps asking me to leave him a Yelp review.”

Maxwell looks puzzled. “I thought… you didn’t have nobility in America?”

Riley shoots him a bemused look. “We don’t.”

“But then, why would you…?”

It takes her a moment, but then she shoves his shoulder and laughs. “Oh my god, wait, are you talking about my landlord? That’s the guy who owns the place I rent. It’s just like, a name for rental property owners. God, you’re such a one-percenter.”

“Shut up,” He rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. “Things are different in Cordonia, okay?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t know what a landlord is. I can’t believe you thought landlords are literal lords of the land.”

Maxwell makes a face at her, and she doesn’t even remotely try to stifle her giggles. “Excuse you, the only ‘landlords’ I know are literal lords of the land, so it was a logical conclusion.”

Riley taps him on the nose before turning away dramatically, hand on her heart. “Deepest apologies, Lord Beaumont. I would never disrespect your status or your land.”

“Hilarious.” He crosses his arms, but he’s smiling.

“Please accept this token of my atonement,” she continues, lifting some imaginary skirts so as to further sashay down the hall, “Imported from the duchy of Newest York, one hundred — no — one thousand of our finest Manhattan pigeons.”

Riley dips down in a ridiculously low curtsey, stumbling forward a bit and catching herself with a laugh. “Perchance would you like to visit with one of our most prestigious landlords? He is so terribly fond of — Max!”

She shrieks as he comes up behind her, arms around her waist, pulling her close and spinning her. She can feel the breath of his laughter against her neck, his whispered, “Shhh, you’ll wake everyone up,” and the way his fingers linger on her when he sets her down.

Riley, flushed, brushes her hair out of her face and adjusts her shirt. “You’re the worst.”

“I accept your pigeons,” Maxwell says with mock formality. “And I would love to meet your landlord.”

“Oh, you really shouldn’t, the pigeons are fucking gross.”

“Okay, pass on the pigeons then.”

“My landlord is gross too.”

He sighs. “You’re not making a great case here.”

Riley smiles, and compelled with a sudden irresistible urge to touch him, reaches out and runs her fingers along his jawline. She almost expects to feel the brushstrokes there too, a perfect likeness of his childhood painting, all grown up and still off-limits.

“You could come visit, if you want,” she says softly. “The mattress is a twin, but we can make it work.”

He kisses her, and she closes her eyes and lets herself believe for a moment that they’re not here, not in this ridiculous world full of princes and balls and family portraits, but somewhere else, somewhere loud and brash and filled with the scent of street food and smoke and dreams yet to be realized.

But of course, they aren’t.

“Come on,” he says, his voice gentle against the sudden sharpness of the moment. “Let’s go finish packing.”

They walk back to the room hand-in-hand, and Maxwell helps her fold things and find things and then sits on the suitcase so she can shove everything in properly and zipper it away. The sky stops getting darker and starts getting lighter, and the laughter between them grows less practiced and more delirious as they finish up.

She smiles when she steps out of her bathroom, face washed and hair up, to find him tucked in against her pillow, finally stolen into sleep by his own exhaustion. It’s a rare occasion to find Maxwell so utterly still, and she stands there for a second watching him.

She’s known for quite some time that she’s fucked. This whole situation: the competition, the prince, the stupid stupid boys. She’s just fucked, no way around it.

But as she lingers in the doorway, memorizing the rise and fall of his chest, it occurs to her that she is now — for lack of a better term — royally fucked.

---

It’s as if she’s barely slept at all when she feels his hand on her shoulder. “Riley? Hey, time to get up.”

She burrows her face back towards her pillow, trying desperately to shut out the light filtering in through the curtains. Maxwell, however, refuses to be shut out.

“We’re leaving in an hour or so, if you want to get ready.” He sounds just as tired as she feels, and she realizes then that he’s most likely spent the entire night here, with her, probably shoved into the corner while she bundled herself in covers. The thought makes her sit up suddenly, blinking blearily into Maxwell’s face, only a few inches from hers.

“Oh,” he says. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she says back.

They look at each other for a moment, Riley squinting up at him as she adjusts to the rush of sunlight. Under the sudden scrutiny of his gaze, she pulls the blankets up around her, a flush spreading into her cheeks as she realizes what she must look like: hair a tangled mess, sleep marks across her face, oversized t-shirt hanging in a particularly unflattering way.

“What’s the ‘Knicks’?” Maxwell asks.

“Hmm?” She quirks an eyebrow in confusion, and he nods at her shirt. She looks down. “Oh. Basketball team. They’re the… uh, the professional team for New York.”

“Do you like them?”

“I like their shirts.”

He laughs, turning away from her to slip down onto the floor. “Sometime, will you teach me what basketball is?”

“You guys don’t have basketball in Cordonia?” Riley lets the blankets fall back around her and pushes herself out of the bed with the intent to follow him, but the hardwood is like ice against her feet. She lingers near the familiar warmth of the covers while she watches him go.

“We don’t have a lot of stuff in Cordonia,” he answers. “Basketball, Disneyland, those breakfast things you like.”

“Pop-tarts?” Riley grins, crossing her arms. “Yeah, real bummer on that one.”

“Prom, Costco, monster trucks,” Maxwell continues, “And we’ve barely even got you for much longer, so.”

The words hit her harder than expected, and the smile drops from her face just as her arms fall to her sides. The chill of the floor spreads up from her feet, twisting its way through her body and settling in her heart.

Maxwell heads towards her suitcase. He lifts it down off the table, yanks the handle up until it clicks. “Come on, you gotta get dressed. I’ll take your bag out to the car.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “Will you come back?”

He turns his head, eyes ghosting over her face as she bites harder into her lip.

“Riley…” he says, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, totally.” She crosses her arms over her chest, pulling her shoulders up in what she hopes looks like a nonchalant shrug. “Just, big day, you know.”

“Understatement.” He smiles at her, and the sinking feeling subsides.

“What should I wear?” she asks, in a feeble attempt to keep him in the room a few moments longer.

“Definitely just that. The king and queen will be so impressed.”

“Shut up.” She sticks her tongue out, reaching back to pull the comforter up from the bed and around her shoulders before crossing toward the closet.

“No I’m serious, the press will not be able to stop talking about it. Bertrand will love that.”

She whacks him with the comforter as she passes. “You know what else Bertrand will love?”

“What?”

“You spending the night in my room.”

He laughs. “Okay, okay, point taken.” He turns to grab her suitcase, but not fast enough to keep her from noticing the blush rising in his cheeks. She laughs too, pulling open her closet door.

“Go get dressed,” he calls after her, “I’m actually taking your stuff out this time.”

“As you wish, Lord Beaumont.” She twirls around to drop in a curtsey, blowing him a kiss as he makes a face at her and heads out the door.

---

Riley wakes up to Maxwell once more, her face smashed in against his shoulder in the back of the car. She lifts her head, blinking the sleep out of her eyes, only to meet Bertrand’s disapproving ones.

“You have lines on your face,” he says disdainfully. “You look wretched.”

Riley sits up, rolling her neck and wincing. “Thanks, B. Are we at the airport?”

“Yeah,” Maxwell answers, seemingly unfazed by her using his arm for a pillow. She hopes she didn’t drool. “There’s coronation traffic, but that’s to be expected. We’ll be at the plane in five.”

Riley looks out the window, expecting to see the familiar bustle of brake lights and taxicabs that punctuate all her visits to JFK. However, all she finds is a great wide sea of black tarmac and planes.

She turns to Maxwell and Bertrand. “Wait, where are we?”

“The airport.”

“No, I — yeah, I know that. But where are the people?”

Maxwell looks confused. “…On the planes?”

“Don’t we, y’know, have to go through security and stuff? Or is that not a thing in Cordonia? Or like, don’t I need to show someone my passport and check my bag?” She nods her head in the direction of the trunk. “That thing is not gonna fit in an overhead compartment, I can already promise you that.”

The car slows to a stop and Maxwell laughs. “What? Riley, we’re broke, but we aren’t fly commercial broke.”

Riley says “Oh,” and then someone in a full suit and black sunglasses is opening her car door and saying, “Lady Riley, I’ll be taking your bags,” and she says “Oh,” and Maxwell says, “Thanks, they’re in the trunk.”

Riley whips her head around to face him, eyes wide. Maxwell shrugs. “Liam has a plane.”

Her eyes go even wider, and she pauses to make sure Bertrand is mostly out of earshot before whispering, “You didn’t think to tell me we’d be in an enclosed space with Liam for an extended period of time?”

He smiles sheepishly. “Well, the thought crossed my mind, but I was worried you’d try to cut your losses and run before we got here. And besides, he told me he wanted some time with you. To talk about something.”

Riley shoots him a pointed look before turning to slide out of the car. Talk to her about something! Great. What a mystery as to what it could possibly be.

The man in the suit, most likely a member of Liam’s security team, is already unloading their things from the trunk. She squints into the sunlight, eyes settling on the enormous white jet just a few hundred feet from their stop, its wings ringed with gold and an egregiously large Cordonian seal plastered along the side.

“Discreet,” Riley mutters, sighing as she heads off towards the staircase lowered down from the plane’s back entrance. She’s never boarded a plane like this before, not without hours of waiting and TSA screenings and watching as every other boarding group took their place ahead of her in line. The tiny staircase seems too easy, and the staff waiting at the bottom are too quick to offer her their arms as she climbs up into the ridiculous fixture of luxury.

As she makes her way inside, wandering slowly towards the aisle, she gawks at the interior: a scaled down recreation of the palace sitting areas, complete with ornate lamps and crystal stemware and what looks to be an entire grand piano off in the corner. Riley feels her stomach clench at the sight of it all, a reminder of how desperately she doesn’t belong in this world of opulence and glamour.

There’s a rustle of a curtain and footsteps behind her, and she turns, expecting to see Maxwell on his way in. She’s already whispering, “Max, I think I should—” before her eyes settle on the person who’s actually in front of her and she stops mid-sentence. “Oh, fuck.”

Drake looks her over and frowns.

“What are you doing here?!” she hisses, shoving him in the shoulder. “And why are you sneaking up on me?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he answers, leveled. “Pretty sure your boyfriend is still back at the car.”

Riley shakes her head, letting out an agonized sigh. “I am truly not in the mood for this, Drake.”

“Aldridge, you going soft? Can’t handle the banter anymore?”

“On Liam’s goddamn plane? Yeah, maybe it’s not the ideal choice of venue.” She crosses her arms, but her defense wavers. “Drake… you didn’t… I mean, you didn’t say anything, did you?”

He rolls his eyes. “Relax, I’m not that much of an asshole. Liam’s on a conference call in the diplomat suite anyway.”

“Diplomat suite?”

“It’s a big fucking plane.”

Riley lets her hands fall back to her sides, glancing around the room once more, eyes following the rows of soft leather seats.

“Well, thanks, I guess.”

He shrugs, looking everywhere but at her. “I know you’ll talk to him. You don’t need me to do it for you.”

She lets out a sigh. “Maxwell said he invited me on the plane so we could talk, so if you’re awaiting my downfall, it might come sooner than you think.”

“I’m not —” Drake looks taken aback, “Riley, come on, you know that’s not how I feel.”

She starts to say something in reply, but the sounds of footsteps coming up the staircase echo loudly into the cabin. Drake turns, and Riley feels her nervous tension ease. Maxwell is finally here, he’ll know how to handle Drake and she can just —

“Riley,” an all too familiar voice calls, “Is that you harping on and on in there?”

Riley grabs Drake’s arm, face twisted in horror, and mouths, Olivia? He nods, looking slightly pained, and then there she is at the landing — mouth twisted in distaste, red hair spilling out of a white fur hat, sheathed in some sort of emerald green evening coat that could probably cover Riley’s apartment rent for the next ten years.

Her mouth curls up into a smile when she sees them. “Oh lovely, I was right.”

She steps into the room, her heels clicking against the hardwood, and drapes her arm across Drake’s shoulder, leaning against him as she surveys Riley. “You do know we’re going to a coronation ball, right?”

“Wonderful to see you too, Olivia,” Riley replies with a grimace.

Olivia smiles again, straightening up and patting Drake dismissively on the back. “Hey Drake, will you be a dear and roll out the bar cart? I have a feeling we’re going to need some drinks.”

Drake rolls his eyes so hard it almost looks painful. “Sure Olivia, I will happily roll out the bar cart. For myself.”

As he turns and pushes past her, she frowns, watching him walk away with a hand on her hip. When he disappears through the cabin door, she looks back at Riley. “Is he always so pleasant?”

“Pretty much, yeah. You’d think you two would get along.”

Olivia arches an eyebrow. “Cute.”

She hears someone else coming up the stairs and prays it’s Maxwell this time. When she sees him step inside, she releases an audible sigh.

“Hey Riley, did Bertrand already come up here? I think he — oh.” His eyes fall on Olivia, who flutters her fingers in a wave. “Olivia?”

“And Drake.” Riley smiles through gritted teeth. “Isn’t it wonderful? Gang’s all here.”

Maxwell blinks. “Uh. Cool?”

Drake emerges from the door then, glass in hand, and stops short when he sees Maxwell. “Hey Max! Long time no see. Great talking with you in the study last night.”

Riley glares with the ferocity of a thousand suns. Maxwell blinks again. Olivia looks between all three of them and rolls her eyes. “You guys are so fucking weird.”

She turns toward the closest seat and settles in, draping her legs across the length of it so the red bottoms of her high heels are on full display. She pulls an eye mask out of her purse, tugging it over her head. “I’m going to take a Xanax and listen to Ryan’s Roses. Do not even think about speaking to me.”

“Trust me,” Riley says under her breath, “It was the least of our concerns.”

part two.

#the royal romance #mc x maxwell #maxwell x mc #trr fanfic #trr #my fic #its probably gonna be three parts total #i will try to get part two out asap #there's not a lot of fluffy shit in this one whoops sorry?????#part two makes up for it i promise #wait or maybe part three #jk i dont know my own story

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sanhatation · 6 years

Text

ri’s thicc 2017 reflection post !

its still quite a few hours away from 2018 for me but i just wanted to take this time to reflect on my absolutely Lovely 2017!!! yay time 2 get sappy as i word vomit and overshare about my year on tumblr.com !!!!

thank you loads to all of my LOVELY followers !!!!!!!!! yall are the cutest, make my day on the daily ! i wish you the best 2018 that the world can offer !!! stay healthy, take time for yourself, love yourself, love others, and be kind! 💓💓

this Riley Rant here, is gonna be here for me than anything. like a Fat journal entry !! and i am an Oversharer so here she goes [jeopardy music]

to begin, i have met and befriended so many amazing people on here this year and WOW!!!!!! lovely and supportive and talented, beautiful aroha friends??? it doesnt get better than that!!!!! i would attempt to tag all of u but yall know who u are ;)) im endlessly grateful to those of you who have really made being on here worth it. heck ya sometimes im like “why do i even spend time on here” but then!!!! idk sunny comes swingin in with just a heart full of love or sara comes swingin in with her eggs or marian comes swingin in with her rare pairs or j comes swingin in with her baking posts and thats not even HALF of it !!!!! seriously.....love you guys tons.

to my friends who i have had the pleasure of remaining your friend this year and getting closer to u !! i love you. i really dont know how yall handle me especially 2015/2016 me?? a MESS! yall are the REALEST. again, yall know who u are ;)) i hope we can continue to talk and have fun in 2018, i wish yall the best.

and lastly....heres a THICC shoutout to my six shining stars.

as for me as an individual, 2017 was a freaking Whack year. it was incredible....dare i say, iconic. and now its time for.....RILEY’S 2017 HIGHLIGHTS !!!!!! (also includes: the sucky parts bc even those allowed me to grow !)

- man, did 2017 start out pretty rough when my country decided it was a good idea to elect a freakin cheeto for president. however! i had the lovely opportunity to attend the women’s march at my capital the day before inauguration !! and it was powerful!!!! truly an experience ill treasure forever!

- binch....thank u Winter Dream for my whole life. tbh i wont forget sobbing at my best friend’s house when it dropped. thank u Miss Again Dance Practice. thank u Miss You & Me MV. thank u Miss Cotton Candy Choreography. thank u.

- ah.....when some pinhead started that tr*mp chanting at a basketball game lol! so iconic that we made the new york times! gotta love that....

- OMG !!! HOW TO SUCCEED !!!! an absolutely amazing experience. granted, the male lead was a Snake, but i had a blast. Rosemary will forever be close to my heart and ill always cry a little when i hear Brotherhood of Man or Paris Original !! such an awesome opportunity. i learned a frick ton about myself as a performer. i improved a ton in acting and dancing, and also came to learn that i am very good at receiving instructions and memorizing lines quickly. i learned that i need to work on some of my facial expressions and i also learned some of my habits ! i miss u Queenie H2$ :’’)

- had my first tap dance performance ever??? i really enjoyed learning tap, and i hope to pick it back up in the future !!!!

- BIIIIIINCCH i had the opportunity to visit my sister in korea!!!!!!! wow.....truly the BEST week of my entire year, maybe even LIFE! i went to the dog cafe, the sheep cafe, mcountdown, the lunar festival kick off, gwanghwamun palace, dongdaemun, shopped a ton around hongdae, ate food by the han river, visited namsan tower (but not without getting lost), hit the noraebang TWICE, walked into a private Fantagio board meeting, ate delicious chicken on a STIIICK, ran in the rain, ordered delivery mcdonalds, had the BEST fried chicken, met a bunch of monks, was led around dongdaemun by a very old korean man, SAW EUNWOO AND DOYEON AND RECEIVED MUCH LOVE AND NEARLY DIED, hit the convenience store literally every day, snuck out, GOT A WAVE FROM KEY :((( , bought Winter Dream and lots of skin care products and lots of cute clothes, had the clearest skin ive ever had in my life, went to a buddhist temple, witnessed a drunk man fall into the splits inbetween the ground and the subway, ran up and down 1000 subway stairs, fell in love with a man named Peanut, drank too much banana and strawberry milk, sobbed my face off at the festival as korean grandmas bowed to me, tried tons of new foods (including the nastiest bowl of cheese ramyun ive ever had in my life), bought lots of socks, rode an airplane for......like 40 hours in total? literally the best week of my Life

- had my junior vocal recital ! it was a cute girl. i felt my acting had really improved since sophomore voice recital !!

- had prom on my 17th birthday and had a jolly good time !!! my mom made my dress and i felt like a Stunner

- dream pt. 01...she rly is that Bad Bih. best era. miss her loads. none of us ever deserved her.

- les mis !!!!!! two whole weeks.....another Best Time. i learned so much, made so many lifetime friends, had a blast, sang my heart out.....such a freaking good time. i miss her

- got to spend the ENTIRE summer with momo!!!!!!!!!!! literally the ENTIRE!!!!! and what did we do? hit the park, watched lemonade mouth and fantastic beasts and starstruck and that random unicorn movie, made the Best slime, made that ICONIC weki meki video, laughed a ton, cried a ton, stayed up all night for the sunrise, stayed later for the sunset & thunderstorm, walked home in the pouring rain & lightning (IT IS VERY WET), went to the beach, met many dogs, got me hairs cut, befriended that Cat, and went to a painting class

- cabin week !!!!!!!!!!! whatta lovely time

- my brother’s wedding !!!! honestly? my best outfit of the year... had a bangin time. his wife is truly a cutie and i love her tons!

- there was that Mess in august and i still feel sorry to those who felt hurt because of it. i learned a lot about how things especially on the internet can be easily misunderstood and misinterpreted, so u gotta be EXTRA careful with your words !

- through that i also came to accept that u cant get everyone to understand or like u, and tbh that is okay for now. all we can do when we make mistakes is try to understand & learn, apologize, and try to better ourselves. and sometimes even when u do that, u still may not be liked. and thats okay. as long as you are trying your best and recognize mistakes, its all good.

-skinny dipped at girls time wow what a freaking TIME

- woah dude i dropped out of my arts school lmao!!! the BIGGEST change in my life since 2014.;..wow! i dont even have the words to say how much stress was lifted off of me and i love senior yr !!!!

- momo came to CT!!!!!!

- seeing svt live !!!!! but tbh the best part was seeing momo, “I LOVE A MAN WHO CAN SEW”, “I!!!!!!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JIHOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, “IM UNDERAGE”, and when Mo BLASTED to that other line

- LAKE COMPOUNCE LMAOOOOO I LOVE JIHOON PT2!!!!

- my mom, sister, and i took an eight week painting class! i finished two paintings and learned a ton!! honestly a good time

- dream pt. 02.....shes that other Bad Bih....absolutely adore her

- i also learned that its okay to cut people off who are toxic. especially if you have already informed them that they make u feel bad, they are not worth trying to please or keep around. take care of yourself. similarly, its okay to block people, and you dont owe them an explanation

- MADI CAME HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my other half...missed her so much :(((

- riley’s calligraphy christmas !!!!! was so much fun and i loved people’s reactions and i loved learning arohas favorite astro lyrics !!!

- ah...............one of the hardest weeks of my whole life. the pain still lingers, and i know itll hit me again like a boulder the next time we see only four of my angels standing on stage. for four months, i was worried sick about another member, and i even knew he was hurting, that his mental illness was real. my heart aches and there is a piece of it missing, but it will never be replaced. i know you are much happier now, jjong. i love you.

- and also because of that, i have been able to think a lot about how i live my life. thoughts like ‘am i watching out for my family and friends enough?’ ‘am i listening enough?’ ‘is this funny comment worth it?’ ‘am i happy?’ im trying to be better. to not take things for granted, to only be kind, to always be there for those i love, for those who love me. and i will try my hardest to not complain about small or petty inconveniences. to try harder to be optimistic.

- christmas was with my whole family for the first time in five years ;;; she was such a cute girl!

and now on to the next act !!!! its called RILEY’S NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS !!!!!!!!!!

1. lets start with the basic stuff that im 99% not gonna pull through on: keep ur room clean. keep everywhere u go clean, it makes mom upset. eat better, u know there is other foods in this house besides peanut butter and pepperoni and popcorn.

2. send out at least one Lovely Ask per day. i made this goal sometime over the summer, and i did it for a few months until i started to forget ;; its not that hard, u just gotta remember to do it !!

3. sis.....quit Procrastinating.......GET ur FREAKING application done...do ur homework the night before lmao! call who u need to !!! write those thank u cards!!!! go get them scholarships!!!! enter that graphic design contest lmao!!! just DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! time is wasting

4. just be happy

#hot frick this is four pages on google docs FHFJJDSLASJ #anyway heres a word dump #if u actually read this......ur insane................and i love u #about me !#riley's thicc 2017 post #riley really really rambles

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