#two sides of one coin incorrect quotes
Text
LOV incorrect quotes
shigaraki: you.. you said i could trust you!!
shigaraki: you said you were a GAMER!!!
spinner: shigaraki... i only play mobile games.
shigaraki: NOOOOO!!!!
▪︎▪︎▪︎
toga: if dabi and i were drowning, who would you save?
shigaraki: you two can't swim?
toga: it's a hypothetical question! who would you save?
shigaraki: my time and effort.
▪︎▪︎▪︎
toga, shooing dabi away: can you go be depressed over there? you're bumming out my whole area.
▪︎▪︎▪︎
dabi, season 6: i'm hot, i'm tall, i'm gay, and i'm in my theatre kid arc
▪︎▪︎▪︎
toga, at starbucks: can i get a venti vanilla latte with seven expresso shots?
dabi, standing behind her: jesus christ, just do cocaine.
▪︎▪︎▪︎
shigaraki, high: the best part of an oreo is the cookie, not the frosting. deal with it.
dabi, also high: darkness without light is an abyss. light without darkness is blinding. you cannot have a coin with one side.
spinner: yo socrates, it's a fucking cookie
▪︎▪︎▪︎
toga: ow!
shigaraki: what's wrong?
toga: i have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.
shigaraki: it's called a stress headache. i got my first one when i was four.
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Brittle Doughie’s Cookie Run x Reader Masterlist (Part 3: Early 2023)
4/21/2023 This Masterlist is being updated
A masterlist of @brittle-doughie’s Cookie Run stories organized by month.
Genre Emojis
😞 is for angst, 🎃 is for Halloween, 🎄 is for Christmas, 🍪 is for Cannibalism, 💗 is for Yandere, 💝 is for Valentine’s, 👻 is for Horror, 🎂 is for Birthday.
The Indents are related to the featured cookies. If there are numerous cookies (Over 10 Cookies Featured), I’ll make a note on that as well.
Also, this ⭐️ will indicate a story featuring one of Brittle’s OCs.
January 2023 ❄️
• “Molded, Battered, Whole”
Featuring: The Five Dragons
• “Y/N Cookie getting Injured”
Featuring:
• “Foul Play”
Featuring:
• “Seize the Spin”
Featuring:
• “Face the Music!”
Featuring:
• “Two Sides of a Coin”
Featuring:
• “New Time Balance Department Cookies”
Featuring:
• “Sands of the Sale”
Featuring:
• “Memories”
Featuring:
• “Coworkers Delight”
Featuring:
• “Spared No Expense 2”
Featuring:
• “Y/N Cookie’s Valentine’s Day Experience” 💝
Featuring:
• “A Fish in a Barrel”
Featuring:
• “Good Day for Walks”
Featuring:
• “A Handycookie’s Expertise”
Featuring:
• “Chaos and Control”
Featuring:
• “House is Where The Heart Is”
Featuring:
• “The Serenity or The Charismatic”
Featuring:
• “Eternity”
Featuring:
• “Interactions with Milky Way Cookie during Episode 15”
Featuring:
• “Y/N Cookie Dislikes People Yelling”
Featuring:
• “No Deed Goes Unnoticed”
Featuring:
• “At Your Beck and Call”
Featuring:
• “Ayo, Their Pouch Responses”
Featuring:
• “No Dice”
Featuring:
• “Undeserving”
Featuring:
• “But the Dance is Today!”
Featuring:
• “Y/N Cookie’s Tailoring Hobby”
Featuring:
• “Lost Amidst Matrimony” 😞💗
Featuring:
• “Sweet Heartmender”
Featuring:
• “Burger Chain Backfire”
Featuring:
February 2023 💝
• “Antagonized”
• “Even More Heartbreak”
• “Star of the Industry” ⭐️
• “The Sugar Swan’s Treasure”
• “Y/N Cookie Blurbs (Various Cookies)”
• “Pet Times”
• “Y/N Cookie’s First Encounter with Stardust Cookie”
• “Moon Pie Cookie”
• “Tales of Sweetness” (Valentine’s Day Special)
• “If Y/N Cookie Hated Someone”
• “Movie Star Y/N Cookie”
• “Duel of Hearts”
• “A Very Much Invited Guest”
• “Fashion Week 2?”
• “Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to”
March 2023 🌱
• “Artist Y/N Cookie”
• “Y/N Cookie’s Costume Concepts”
• “Drawings for the Little Cookies”
• “Ya Like Raisin Buns?”
• “Sweetheart Timekeeper Cookie”
• “Stress from a Job”
• “Ancient Y/N Cookie’s All Nighters”
• “Y/N Cookie being part of a Royal Family”
• “Y/N Cookie having a Nightmare”
• “Downstream: Part 1”
• “Group Findings”
• “Volunteering to be a parent to Y/N Cookie’s child”
• “Sea Fairy x Y/N Cookie”
• “A Jammed Heart”
• “Croissant Cookie vs. Timekeeper Cookie”
April 2023 ☔️
• “A Forced Hand”
• “Y/N Cookie in Scovillia”
• “From Afar”
• “Kindred Souls”
• “Y/N Cookie Comforting Centipede Cookie”
• “Chocolate Frosting Cookie trying to redeem herself”
• “The Pudding Cup Circus”
• “Cookies of Darkness Go to the Movies”
• “Volunteering to be a parent to Y/N Cookie’s child (Part 2)”
• “Exiled from their Kingdom: The Darkness’s Offering”
• “No Simp September”
• “I’ll Miss You”
• “The Incorrect Quote Cookie Jar #2”
• “Y/N Cookie in the Crème Knights”
#brittle doughie masterlists#cookie run kingdom#cookie run ovenbreak#cookie run#yandere cookie run#cookie run angst#cookie run x reader#cookie run x you#yandere cookie run kingdom
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Incorrect quotes ft the Lords in Black + Webby
Webby: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution.
Nibbly: You could lose a few.
Blinky: You could be less lazy.
Wiggly: Don’t be such a bitch.
Nibbly: Okay DAMN, SHIT.
Wiggly: Pokey is forbidden from monologuing.
Tinky: Do you know a turtles only weakness?
Blinky: No... well, their slowness.
Tinky: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.
Tinky: Now I have a plan.
Tinky: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.
Nibbly: You know, I used to play back in my gory days.
Blinky: You mean glory days?
Nibbly: Ah, that too.
Nibbly: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Pokey: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Blinky: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
Wiggly: At this point I have to confess… I started to feel a little bad for Webby. Maybe it was the fact that I had just outperformed them at their own game, or maybe it was that I held an obvious advantage over the poor bastard. Maybe it was just that unbearable to look into their eyes. Either way, I started to wonder if maybe this was a pointless endeavor after all. What was I doing to this person? What was I trying to prove? Was this really some grand, noble quest, to tear an overconfident fraud from their unearned throne? To show everyone that I was right. That Webby did not deserve to stand at that zenith, to lord over all their lowly competitors. Or… perhaps… was I really just doing this for myself? Beating an opponent within an inch of their life over and over and over again… all for my own petty ego. All to fill this emptiness inside of me. I asked myself, was Webby really the bad guy? Or was it me, all along?
Wiggly: But then I remembered that Webby ain’t shit, and I got over it!
Tinky: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.
Tinky: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.
Webby: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.
Blinky: All good bro, any time.
Webby: Fuck you.
Blinky: Tinky, is that my mug you’re drinking out of?
Tinky: No, it’s mine.
Blinky: It... looks just like the one I have...
Tinky: You don’t have one like this anymore.
Webby: You’re not gonna shoot a puppy, are you Wiggly!?
Wiggly: Yeah, in the face, why?
#hatchetfield#starkid#hatchetverse#lords in black#wiggog y'wrath#wiggly#nibblenephim#nibbly#t'noy karaxis#tinky#blinklotep#blinky#pokotho#pokey#webby hatchetfield#incorrect quotes
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Brittle-Doughie’s Main Page
Heya! The name is Brittle, I go by he/him and I’m a writer for a bunch of things Cookie Run, you’ll probably find me on the Cookie Wars with the various stuff I put out on the tag! Welcome!
[Request Box: Open!]
MASTERLIST #2 >>> HERE
———————————————————————
[Guidelines]
Gender neutral readers are my way to go, so everyone can enjoy my fics! :D (This will always be the case unless the fic states otherwise)
The type of writings can vary, which could be either be headcanons, one-shots, etc etc. Whatever I feel like works best for the time.
The main fandom I write for is Cookie Run! Whether it be Wars, Ovenbreak, or even Kingdom!
Angst, fluff, yandere cookies, it’s all good with me!
My blacklist is fairly standard with a bunch of NSFW or MAJORLY cursed stuff not allowed. (Pedophilla, Incest, scat, etc etc)
[Masterlist #1]
Ovenbreak/Kingdom
The Incorrect Quote Cookie Jar V1.5
I’ll Miss You (Ancient Cookies)
Downstream Part 1 (Affogato Cookie)
Group Findings (Cauliflower and Peperoncino Cookie)
From Afar (Croissant, Lime, and Sour Belt)
A Jammed Heart (Original Cookie Character)
A Forced Hand (Ancient Cookies)
Y/N Cookie Blurbs (Various Cookies)
A Very Much Invited Guest (Hollyberry Kingdom)
Pet Times (Carrot, Cheesecake, and Baguette Cookie)
Duel of Hearts (White Choco and Rose Cookie)
Tales of Sweetness (Valentine’s Day Special)
Fashion Week 2?
Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to (Carrot, Beet, Spinach, Rambutan Cookie)
Costume Concepts
Ya Like Raisin Buns? (Black Raisin Cookie)
Star of the Industry (Popping Candy, DJ, Rockstar, Parfait, and Shining Glitter Cookie)
Even More Heartbreak (Black Pearl Cookie)
Antagonized
But the Dance is Today! (Hollyberry Kingdom)
Undeserving (Affogato Disciples, Dark Cacao, Adventurer, Captain Ice Cookie)
Anguish Before Matrimony (Pure Vanilla and White Lily Cookie)
No Dice (Ancient Cookies)
At Your Beck and Call (Pearl Legion/Custard Soldiers)
No Deed Goes Unnoticed (Dark Cacao Kingdom)
Milky Way Cookie Blurb
Eternity (Snow Sugar Cookie)
The Serenity or the Charismatic (Pure Vanilla v. Clotted Cream Cookie)
House is Where the Heart Is (Raspberry Mousse Cookie)
Chaos and Control (Twizzly Gang)
A Handycookie’s Expertise (Time Balance Department)
Good Day for Walks (Pure Vanilla Cookie)
Fish in a Barrel (Affogato Cookie)
Spared No Expense 1.5 (Cheesecake Cookie)
Coworkers Delight (Maple Taffy Cookie)
Memories
Sands of the Sale (Yogurt Cream Cookie)
Two Sides of a Coin (Hollyberry Cookie x Male Reader)
Face the Music! (B.A.D 4)
Seize the Spin
Foul Play (Cherry Stars)
Molded, Battered, Whole (The Five Dragons)
In a Heartbeat (Pink Choco Cookie)
From the Brink
What If: In Your Name
When the Jingle Bells Rock (Christmas Special)
The Flipside
Spared No Expense (Cheesecake Cookie)
For Their Majesty (Amber Sugar Cookie)
Speak of the Tree (Millennial Tree Cookie, Churro Cookie)
The Deal with Ancients
Bake It till You Make It
Polar Opposites (Timekeeper Cookie)
A Phenomenal Photo
Let Me Be Your Relay Cookie
A Tune for You (Vagabond Cookie)
Real Y/N Cookie Birthday Hours
Missing You
Sunrises (Missing You Alt)
The Face of the Future (Director Croissant, Stringy Gummy, Ephemeral Flow Timekeeper)
The Spooky Cookie Tapes
The Deal with Dragons (The 5 Dragons)
The Thrill or The Peace (Adventurer Cookie v. Blackberry Cookie)
Marketplace Ruckus (Hollyberrian Marketplace)
Time Travel, Woo! (Croissant Cookie)
Biggest Fans (Cherry Stars)
The Idol and the DJ (DJ Cookie)
The TBD’s Handycookie (Time Balance Department)
The Apple in this Doctor’s Eye (Dr. Bones Cookie
Heartbreak (Kumiho Cookie)
Pizza’s Here (Pizza Cookie)
The Beloved of Duskgloom Sea (Black Pearl Cookie)
Picnic Time (Cherry Blossom Cookie)
The Incorrect Quote Cookie Jar (Various Cookies)
———————————————————————
Wars/Jellywalker AU
[Q: Question based. Though some questions do evolve into full on fics.]
Heart of the Horde
Protectors of the Horde’s Heart
Death of the Heart
The Starved Heart
Heart Amongst Legends
Recollection 1 (White Ghost Cookie, Vagabond Cookie, Cream Unicorn Cookie)
Recollection 2 (Financier Cookie, Vampire Cookie, Dark Choco Cookie)
Recollection 3 (Infected TBD)
Wandering
Wandering #2
Gift Mode | Keeping Quiet | Little Ones | Wandering Part 3 (Jellywalker AU)
The News Gets to Them (Walker AU. Sorbet Cookie, Lilac Cookie, Black Garlic Cookie)
The News Gets to Them #2 (Walker AU. Lilybell Cookie, Choco Ball Cookie, Poison Mushroom Cookie)
Q: Various Cookies as Walkers
Q: Various Cookies as Walkers #2
Q: Bosses and You!
Q: Guard Duty (Jellywalker Knight Cookie)
Q: If Y/N Died
Q: Would The Dragons Help?
Q: How did Y/N get infected?
Q: Y/N Captured
Q: Shared Emotion of Y/N Cookie and the Horde
Q: Showoffs of the Horde (Fire Spirit Cookie, Cinnamon Cookie, Skating Queen Cookie)
Q: If Y/N was cured?
Q: Argument Amongst the Horde
———————————————————————
#masterlist#navigation#cookie run x reader#cookie run x you#jelly walkers x reader#cookie wars x reader#cr x reader#crk x reader#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#cookie run ovenbreak
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For entertainment purposes, I sometimes play around with an incorrect quote generator. To make it fun, the characters + quote have to be completely random / I can't shuffle names, and they have to make me laugh.
Here are some of my favorites. Hope they bring you a laugh.
--
Kai: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them.
Ray: That’s brilliant.
Kai: Thank you, Kenny.
--
Max: I dare you-
Kenny: Kai is not allowed to accept dares anymore.
Max: Why not?
Kai: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.
--
Kai: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.
--
Max: What's worse than a heartbreak?
Ray: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.
--
Kenny: Just be yourself. Say something nice.
Kai: Which one? I can't do both.
--
Kenny: Emily noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.
Ray: This reminds me of the Emily who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi.
Kenny: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Emily.
--
Kenny: That sounds like a terrible plan.
Ian: Oh, we've had worse.
--
Emily: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?
Kenny: All the time.
Emily: Then you should be used to it by now.
--
Emily, to the Squad: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!
*silence*
Emily: Damn, y’all depressed as fuck...
Salima : You didn’t clap either-
Emily: SHUT UP!
--
Ray, staring at Mariah in a cage: ...Why are they in a cage?
Tyson: Because they growled at me.
--
Ian: You’re giving me a sticker?
Julia: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”
Ian: I’m not a preschooler.
Julia: Fine, I’ll take it back-
Ian: I earned this, back off!
--
Bryan: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.
Max: Those are wanted posters!
--
Kai: Yesterday, I overheard Max saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Spencer replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.
--
Julia: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird?
Tala: Yes, and that’s coming from me.
--
Kai: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house.
Ian: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?
--
Mariam: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Salima : Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Emily: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
--
Mariah: Here you go, Emily, a nice hot cup of coffee!
Emily: It's cold.
Mariah: A nice cup of coffee.
Emily: It's horrible!
Mariah: Cup of coffee.
Emily: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.
Mariah: C U P.
--
Mariam: I don’t need to touch grass, I need the fall of capitalism.
--
Bryan: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?
Ray: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.
--
Julia: Why would you give a knife to Kai?!
Kenny, shrugging: Kai felt unsafe.
Julia: Now I feel unsafe!
Kenny: I’m sorry…
Kenny: Would you like a knife?
--
Emily, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.
--
Julia: Bryan’s gonna kill me.
Spencer: No, he'll probably make me do it.
--
Kai: That's it, you're grounded! Tala, no adventures for you! Mariam, no fighting for you! Ian, no stealing for you! And Bryan... oh my god, is there anything that you love?
Bryan: Revenge.
Kai: No vengeance for you.
Bryan: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.
--
Max: You're violent.
Ian: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.
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Clones as Incorrect Quotes 2/2 Master Post (Domino Squad Lives AU and Fives+332nd Live AU version)
Unholy mixture of random generators, unsolved/ghost files banter, and things my friends have said
Mostly just headcanons following below
A few notes for these: Tup is NB he/they. Hardcase is genderfluid. Vaughn is agender they/them. Nax is a she/her. Jesse has no idea how any of this works, someone help him. Domino Squad Lives AU has the main blue boys interact with the 212th on a more personal level, so some of these involve a mix of the two groups. Every single character is having an existential crisis in the other AU. NO CLONESHIPPING HERE!
(Domino Squad Lives Fix-It AU):
Echo: Do you take constructive criticism?
Cutup: No, only cash or credit.
Waxer: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Echo: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Boil: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Cutup: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Droidbait: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Hevy: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'
Echo: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make
'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC’.
Hevy: *flips the board*
Cutup: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*
Fives: *standing on the roof* Bless you.
Cutup: God?!
Cutup: Get in loser, we're going shopping.
Droidbait: This is a McDonald's drive thru.
Nax: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".
Wooley: I need life advice.
Cutup, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.
Fives: *coughs blood*
Droidbait: Don't die, Fives!
Fives: Don't tell me what to do!
Cutup: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I've ever done.
Droidbait: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.
Cutup: They're not.
Droidbait: Haha, very funny.
Cutup: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?
Droidbait: No... what happened?
Cutup: …Why would you fall for this again-
Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Cutup*
Cutup: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.
Droidbait: Quitting! It's like trying, but easier.
Hevy: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don't set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It's risky and I like it.
Cutup: Hello friends!
His Squad:
Cutup: You might be wondering why I'm stuck to the ceiling
Cutup: You're mean!
Droidbait: You're meaner!
Cutup: Yeah, well, you're ugly too!
Droidbait: You're uglier!
Cutup: You're a dumbass!
Droidbait: You're a dumberass!
Cutup: You think "dumberass" is a good insult!
*Cutup and Hevy are planning to break in somewhere*
Cutup: We need to distract the guards.
Hevy: Right.
Cutup: What are we gonna do?
Hevy: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Cutup:
Hevy:
Cutup: Deal.
Nax: Hey, DB! Did you know you’re my BFFLWYLION?
Droidbait: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Nax: Best Friend For Life Whether You Like It Or Not.
Droidbait:
Droidbait: That’s one way to say it, I guess…
Wooley: I am strong! I beat Droidbait at arm wrestling!
Hevy: Anyone can beat Droidbait at arm wrestling!
Droidbait: Hey-
*Cutup sends more than 5 messages in a row*
Hevy: I ain’t reading all that.
Hevy: I’m happy for you tho.
Hevy: Or sorry that happened.
Cutup, to Wooley: You know, Hevy can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.
Cutup: *blows airhorn at Hevy* GET FUCKED!
Hevy: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Cutup: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents.
Hevy: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.
Jesse: Actually I did the math, Cutup would have $225, not $0.15.
Cutup: Fam I’m right here....
Wooley: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Tup: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Wooley: Sorry I only have a dollar.
Tup: :(
Jesse: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Echo would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.
Wooley: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.
Jesse: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.
Fives: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice.
Echo: Apply juice to what.
Fives: Directly to the forehead.
Rex: Great chat everyone.
Droidbait, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.
Echo: Time for plan G.
Wooley: Don’t you mean plan B?
Echo: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Droidbait: What about plan D?
Echo: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Tup: What about plan E?
Echo: I’m hoping not to use it. Cutup dies in plan E.
Boil: I like plan E.
Oddball: Are we really going to let Hevy keep Beam?
Cody: We kept Cutup.
Kix: Someone’s trying to break in. Call the cops!
Droidbait: *loads shotgun* I got this.
Kix: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-
The poor Jedi that got Cutup assigned to them after the war: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this Order.
Cutup: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?
*At the police station*
Denal: Hi, I’m here for Domino Squad.
Corrie guard: Who’s Domino Squad?
Denal: Ah, you must be new.
Fox: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?!
Jesse: Cause I’m one of the idiots who lives in it!
Hevy: How does that even work?
Droidbait, mocking him: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?!
Hevy: Your face doesn't make sense.
Cody, to Trapper: If you see Cutup, give him this message *makes a neutral face*
Cody: He’ll know what it means.
*later*
Trapper: oh, and Cody said to give you a message.
Trapper: *makes a neutral face*
Cutup: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.
Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?
Fives: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.
Longshot: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.
Cutup: ...We're on the ground floor.
Longshot: I know but I want a dramatic exit.
Hevy: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.
Denal: What do you call disobeying the law?
Domino Squad: A hobby.
Denal: *crosses his arms*
Domino Squad: That we do not engage in.
Droidbait to Tup: First rule of battle, vod’ika... don’t ever let them know where you are.
Hardcase, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!
Droidbait: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.
Hevy: Really love that airports have to specify that you're NOT allowed grenades. Like damn there go my traveling plans
Droidbait: Ideally we get down there and Cutup’s just dead. And then we can end the mission, and I can go home. Obviously very sad, thoughts and prayers, but... I don't have to go down there, then. So... *weighs options between his hands* Lose brother, don't have to go in the tunnel. I think it comes out to be a wash, to be honest, so…
Hevy, about possibly getting too beefy for the armor: Regulations won’t look as good as my thighs will so they aren't valid.
Fives+332nd Live AU (possible official titles include Bones In The Ocean AU and Resistance Leaders AU, I’m workshopping it rn)
*The squad has just arrived in a new city. Fives looks around at the wanted posters to see if he’s on any of them.*
Omega: Fives, are you a criminal?
Fives: Not here, I'm not!
Rex: Uuh, watcha got there?
Fives, with a lightsaber: A smoothie.
Fives: Damn, Tech, are you secretly cool?
Tech: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.
Fives: I do not.
Ahsoka, texting CF99: Want to help me murder someone?
Echo: Sure who we hitting?
Ahsoka: someone who looks evil
Some guy: What am I supposed to do?
Bounty Hunter Fives: If I were you? I’d try and make peace with whatever deity, pantheon, or Divine Other you believe in.
Some guy: I’m an atheist.
Fives: Then just get ready to die I guess.
Fives: So, are you two friends?
Omega: Yes.
Crosshair: No.
Fives: Hello Crosshair, made anyone cry today?
Crosshair: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.
Fives: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?
Echo: Schrödinger's boys.
Crosshair: FUCK!
Wrecker: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?
Tech: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.
Tech: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.
Fives: ...
Echo: ...
Crosshair: ...
Wrecker: ...
Tech: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.
Fives: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.
Tech: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.
Fives: Fuck you.
The self-taught medic with no license in the lower levels: Fives’ a 10 but that's all we know about him.
Kix: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.
Ahsoka: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.
Kix: Th-that's not how that works-
Fives, to the BB: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.
Tech: But how-
Fives, ignoring him: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.
Echo: *nods sagely*
All of them: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
Fives: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
Tech: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Fives: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Tech: Somehow that's worse.
Rex: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
Crosshair: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.
Hunter: Didn't you die?
Fives: That was months ago, dude. Things change.
Omega: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Omega: And I started thinking.
Omega: Like, it was just trying to get food.
Omega: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Hunter: Are you ok?
Jesse 5 months into Resistance work: You know I think my life has value.
Wrecker: Who are you and what have you done with Jesse?!
Fives: I'm so sad woa woa womp womp.
Echo: I am tired of fighting my own demons, give me physical ones.
Fives, months into being on the run: I’d kill to go absolutely ham on a dexter-grade hamburgussy.
Echo: Nothing wrong with a little government overthrowing in the sake of friendship.
Wrecker: Aw you little reg guy.
Dogma: Shut up do not call me that.
Omega: Gentleman ori’vod.
Dogma: Stop I am a STRANGER who is RUDE!
Echo after Fives tells him that he tried to assassinate Palpatine: Yeah I think fighting the Chancellor’s a pretty good way to get labeled a traitor.
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Incorrect Quotes: The Time Travel AU With The Padawans edition
Derra: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
Ezra, Sabine, Dae: Awwww-
Derra: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
Ezra, Sabine, Dae: Oh.
---
Derra: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
---
Dae: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Daesha is such a nice girl, Daesha is so happy-go-lucky! Daesha can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Daesha CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Daesha IS be in a bad mood.
---
Derra: Why do I always tell people we’re cool? We’re so very uncool.
---
Ezra: Oh gosh I wish I got more sleep I only got six hours!
Dae: Six? I only got three!
Sabine: You guys got sleep?
Derra, comes stumbling out of her room and grabs a jug of caf before saying: What year is it??
---
Sabine: Your smile? It makes my day.
Ezra: Your happiness? I live for that.
Derra: A room? Get one.
Dae: Hotel? Trivago.
---
Ezra: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.
Derra: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.
Sabine: Wasps?
Dae: Terriers?
Ezra: Dae.
---
Derra: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm a Sith, and I'm going to burn your house down.
---
Derra: Anything else?
Sabine: Yeah. Stay away from me!
Derra: Alright. See you in the room we share.
---
Dae: Wake me up-
Ezra: Before you go go
Sabine: When September ends
Derra: WAKE ME UP INSIDE
---
Ezra, to Kanan: The girls have been acting really weird lately. Do you know what's going on?
*flashback to Dae talking to Kanan*
Dae: I'm trying to set him up with Derra, obviously! They're Darkness and Light, two sides of the same coin. It's romantic!
*flashback to Sabine talking to Kanan*
Sabine: Derriphan said that she thinks Dae and Ezra like each other, and they're my two best friends, so of course I'm encouraging them to get together!
*flashback to Derra talking to Kanan*
Derra: Pff. I've never seen two people with less chemistry than Dae and Ez. But I don't want to cause suffering to draw power from, so I'm substituting teenage angst. I give Sabine six months maximum before she realizes her feelings and implodes with jealousy.
*flashbacks end*
Kanan:
Kanan: ...all is as the Force wills.
Ezra: That's not an answer.
---
Derra: I am darkness. I am power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Dae: A doll.
Sabine: A cinnamon roll.
Ezra: A sweetheart.
Derra:
Derra: ...stop it.
---
Ezra and Dae: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other*
Ahsoka:
Hera, exasperatedly: Guys, Fulcrum is here.
---
Dae: I'm willing to bet that some day I'll die from an animal I try to make friends with.
Ezra: OMG SAME!!!!
---
Dae: This family doesn't split up to do sensible, constructive things. It comes together to do awesome, stupid things.
---
Ezra: Why aren't there friendship pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-
Ezra, to Dae: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.
Derra, to Sabine: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire.
Zeb, watching: There are two types of people.
---
Dae, to Derra: Excuse us for being gushy, but this has to be said. You are not a loser.
---
*the Squad at Space Disneyland, in the teacups*
Sabine and Derra: *spinning a little and talking*
Ezra and Dae: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
---
Derra: Truth or dare?
Dae: Dare.
Derra: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.
Dae: Hey Ezra?
Ezra, confused: Yeah?
Dae: Can you move? I'm trying to get to the mirror.
Ezra, deadpan: How very humble of you.
Sabine: No, no. She's right.
---
Sabine: Kriff. I give up. I admit the facts. Dae and Ezra are definitely a couple.
Derra: Mm and why do you say that?
Sabine: You saw her yesterday, Derra! She was wearing his shirt!
Derra: And the day before that she was wearing Hera's spare overalls. Day before that she used Kanan's visor as a sleep mask. Do you know why I'm wearing booty shorts right now, Sabine? Because she took all my pants. Every single pair. And now I have to wear pink sparkly booty shorts because I have no more pants.
Derra: Daesha isn't a girlfriend. She's a clothes thief.
---
Derra: Someone will die...
Dae: Of fun!
---
Ezra: I just want someone to take me out.
Dae: On a date?
Derra: With a sniper gun?
Sabine: Both if you're not a coward.
---
Zeb: It's locked. You got a lock pick?
Ezra: Yeah-
Derra: *kicks in the door*
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got bored
threw dazai, you, and me into an incorrect quote generator cuz why not
have some funny ones
Mystic: Dazai, I am questioning your sanity...
Chuuya: I never questioned it, I knew his sanity was missing from the start.
*Chuuya, Dazai, and Mystic are playing poker. Mystic is winning by a long shot.*
Chuuya: Aw, come on.
Dazai: It’s not fair! They don’t even know what we’re playing!
Mystic: Go Fish?
Mystic: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Chuuya: wHat?
Mystic: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Chuuya: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?
Mystic: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Chuuya: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Dazai: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
Chuuya: I feel like Dazai is looking down at me.
Mystic: that's because they're on the counter and you're short.
Mystic: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Chuuya: Wasn’t Dazai with you?
Dazai: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Mystic: What time is it?
Dazai: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out
Dazai: *BLASTS the saxaphone*
Chuuya: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dazai: It’s 2 am
Dazai: If you water water, it grows.
Chuuya: ...What.
Mystic: They've got a point.
Chuuya: I think I did fairly well on my anatomy quiz! :)
Mystic: I forgot I was doing a test.
Chuuya: Mystic.
Mystic: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny....
Dazai: Mystic.
Dazai (brainstorming ideas for pranking Chuuya): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost?
Mystic: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful..
Dazai: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that?
Mystic: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Dazai.
Mystic: Would you slap Dazai-
Chuuya: Yes.
Mystic: I didn't even finish!
Chuuya: Sorry, continue.
Mystic: Would you slap Dazai for 10 dollars?
Chuuya: I would do it for free.
Dazai: Rude...
Really funny.....to be honest Peach Flower Boy deserves it.
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"It's not falsely attributing anything."
It is. He didn't coin the term. Attributing it to him is a false attribution.
"He invented the prefix "cis"."
The prefix cis is Latin. He did not invent it. It came from Latin. It means "on this side" or "on the same side". As opposed to trans which means "on the other side" or "so as to change".
"Without him, the term "cisgender" would not exist."
It would exist without him as Dana Defosse didn't know about the term cissexual or about Sigusch. Sigusch could have never been born and the word cisgender would still exist because he had no affect on the creation of the term.
"Whether or not he followed that prefix with "gender" or "sexual" is irrelevant."
It is relevant as it changes the word.
And they do mean the same thing, btw.
They don't.
Cissexual means to have a "mental sex" that agrees with your sex.
Cisgender means to have a gender that agrees with your sex.
The concept of a "mental sex" is based on the idea that gender isn't real, and that sex is mental and psychical (which is false).
Sex and gender are the same thing.
They're not. The term gender was literally created to distinguish and differentiate it from sex.
They're completely interchangeable terms.
How can two terms be interchangeable when one of the terms was literally created to not have anything to do with the first term?
The prefix cis is Latin. He did not invent it. It came from Latin. It means "on this side" or "on the same side". As opposed to trans which means "on the other side" or "so as to change".
"Without him, the term "cisgender" would not exist."
It would exist without him as Dana Defosse didn't know about the term cissexual or about Sigusch. Sigusch could have never been born and the word cisgender would still exist because he had no affect on the creation of the term.
So you are actually mostly correct about most of this, (cis and trans are actually chemistry terms, too, I found out while I was looking this up) though there's zero proof that Defosse actually coined the term. She claims to, and most people buy that claim, but her sole proof that I've seen is an article she wrote where she says she coined the term on a defunct message board, posts a link, and the link takes you to an old academic book that says "Defosse is generally credited" with coming up with the term. There's no mention of Volkmar Sigusch at all, which could mean that you're correct and she never heard of him, or she did and didn't want to admit she didn't invent the idea of using the prefix cis as an opposite to trans.
However, I still say you're incorrect about the rest of your ask. Gender and sex are the exact same thing. Gender was used to be a different word than sex (I'm assuming this is because sex was starting to become shorthand for intercourse and the scientific and education communities wanted to use a more clinical, less ambiguous term, but don't quote me on that because I haven't looked that up yet) but it still had the same definition. The idea of sex and gender being different was never a thing outside incredibly niche pseudo-scientific academic circles until relatively recently, but that doesn't mean they're different. To date, there is zero physical, scientific proof that "mental gender" even exists. The people who use gender to mean "mental gender" are actually referring to gender roles, which can be based on societal mores and not strict biology, but they're using the word incorrectly. The way they use it is to describe a concept that doesn't exist. The concept that does exist, biological sex, can be described as either sex or gender. So regardless of the intent, the words cissexual and cisgender mean the exact same thing.
Now, having said that, I'll once again admit that I was, at the very least, potentially wrong about the term cisgender coming directly from cissexual. But since there's no definitive proof of where the former word came from that I could find, and I don't take trans or feminist activists at their word without proof, I'm also not going to say that I can't be right, either. But regardless, it's murky enough that if I come across any more posts about the term "cisgender" coming from Sigusch I won't reblog them unless I find some compelling proof that Defosse was inspired by his term.
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Part 11
Randomly Generated incorrect Quotes
( Twisted Wonderland I Second years)
✨double the quotes✨
(two were changed. The mighty generator has spoken, Silver is now bi.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jamil: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Floyd: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Riddle: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jade: Yeah, I'll smoke a joint tonight, but let's not get too crazy.
*The gang proceeds to get arrested for blocking the road in large traffic cone costumes*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Azul: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?
Riddle: Never seen one.
Azul: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.
Riddle: What can’t I see?
Azul: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.
Riddle: Yeah, I can drop an apple.
Azul: Fuck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Azul: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.
Riddle: Thank you for your sacrifice, Floyd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jade: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!
Floyd: Ok, Jade, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?
Jade: 1917.
Floyd: ...You're ready.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jade: Anyone d-
Azul: Depressed?
Riddle: Drained?
Floyd: Dumb?
Jamil: Disliked?
Jade: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ruggie: Money... Is like president trading cards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kalim: We have fun, don’t we, Azul?
Azul: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
or
Kalim: We have fun, don’t we, Jamil?
Jamil: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ruggie: You shouldn't be using a straw.
Floyd: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.
Ruggie: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Floyd: Am I going to far?
Jamil: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Floyd, texting: Answer your phone
Azul, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone
Floyd: Understood
Floyd, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Azul.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kalim: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.
Kalim: Ask me to kill for you.
Silver: ...First of all, calm down-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Azul: So you like cats?
Jamil: Yeah.
Azul: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Silver: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#twst#twst second years#twst riddle#twst floyd#disney twisted wonderland#twst jamil#twst jade#twst ruggie#twst azul#twst silver#twst crack#twst kalim#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al asim#jamil viper#silver#riddle rosehearts#ruggie bucchi#azul ashengrotto#twst incorrect quotes#randomly generated incorrect quotes#twst meme
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Review for Ener-chi:
Imagine for whatever reason the spirit world has some hold on you that you can't escape. To make matters worse, you're not at the level to handle it by yourself so you seek out those with the abilities that can. Alright, shouldn't be difficult right? Incorrect. Things that have happened to me on my search: scammed, ghosted on and just feeling like I'm left in a ditch in the middle of nowhere with the sound of howling coyotes approaching. Thankfully, I'm a stubborn cow that just wants to chew my grass in peace so we climb out of that hole and give a finger to the coyotes. Here is my review of Ener-chi aka Zach!
Skill level: intermediate.
it's a given if you've gone through Zach's posts with his adventures in the astral or the readings he's done for others. With the readings he's done for me it's been the whole "what I needed to hear" and not "what I'd like to hear to stroke my ego." My ego was out of control once so Zach didn't sugar-coat the message from my spirits. The end result? Me with a metaphorical black eye. My ego? Bruised, swollen and crying like a baby for days on end😥😰😭😭I was ganged up on by not only my own spirits but the spirits of Zach's cards too. Looking back, I know I deserved it and my spirits did try giving me spoonfuls of honey but noticed me being greedy and thought enough was enough. Painful truths serve a purpose so between them and a beautiful lie, I prefer the former's bitterness because who's ever heard of "good" medicine that tastes sweet anyways?
Spirits like to talk in their own cryptic ways so I'm not surprised when I asked for clues related to something I need to search for in the physical only to be redirected to something seemingly unrelated but likely is related. Zach's readings made me feel reassured that my spirits do have my back. If they didn't care, they'd fill my head up with helium and I could descend down a path of egotistical madness that repulses me down the road. The spirits that care for me remind me of my own physical friendships where if a friend told me they want to jump off a cliff I'd berate them and probably take a taxi over and beat them over the head in person some more. My friends would thank me for that and I'd thank my friends for doing me that favour too if I said something like that.
There was a time one reading turned into a healing session and I've got to give props to Zach's ability for that; something was deeply buried in my energy that previous practitioners didn't detect at all. Even my guides who keep a watchful eye over me didn't sense it. This nasty yucky thing Zach said was leftover rotting energy that I'm thankful he removed. In the physical, it seems that this nuisance was aggravating my negative moods. The moment it was taken out I felt wayyy better. More relaxed and less hurt by whatever weighed on my mind. After that Zach helped configure my energy which I guess the nasty thing stunted from working normally. My energy has since entered a sort of "clearing out" state. So if I was worried something threw a metaphorical wrench in my clockwork it's since been taken care of.
Maturity: a humble dude.
There's a quote I'll paraphrase that goes something like, "people can brag about being enlightened but those who truly are just let themselves be and their actions speak," I'd say Zach is definitely the latter. Zach cultivated not only his abilities to be able to decipher the messages of the spirits and heal others but also as a person which is demonstrated by his patience and willingness to discuss things with people. He has, in my opinion, stayed humble and not strayed from growing both spiritually and in the physical as a human being. You can't separate the physical from the spiritual since they're two sides of the same coin; whatever injuries you get from either side it's gonna show up, so you can't neglect either. Speaking from observation, some practitioners neglect their humanity and it shows in how they treat others.
In the past, I've approached various somebodies that presented themselves as open to helping others only to do the exact opposite and I'd be worse off. So I'm forever thankful Zach isn't Ike that and recognizes the responsibility and weight of this line of work. I'm not afraid to ask for clarity which he is happy to provide. On the economical side of things, he's willing to work it out and godbless him for that. There's people who would charge up to $100 if not more than $300 for a single reading that they'd say has NO guarantee to help you. IMO, if they're not a scammer then they might as well be one. I don't joke about the fatalities energetic injuries can lead to physically so if somebody is that enamoured with money they're fine with you dying and being in debt thanks to them they shouldn't dare claim they're "enlightened."
You could hire anybody to compliment you, even probably hire lots to insult you and some would offer to do it free of charge but somebody who can get rid of a parasite that's giving you months of insomnia you never had in your entire life? it won't cost an arm and a leg?? PLUS they're not an asshole???! A national treasure find.
Conclusion: highly recommended.
This was written because I had this nagging voice in my head saying I truly wish Ener-chi would get more love for what they do! I thank whatever forces looking out for me that led me to them. For as long as Zach would allow it I'll be back to check in with whatever's going on that side for me. It's easy to talk to him, he's level headed and channels the voices of the spirits well. Also if stuff is going down with your energy he can tell you straight away if it is from spirits giving you unnecessary grief. If you've eliminated the usual physical checkup then maybe it's time for a spiritual energetic one.
In light of me opening up my readings again, I wanted to share this wonderful review that I received! I always love getting feedback on my readings, because it helps me grow and improve. But I also love hearing about how it resonates and how it helped you. That's probably one of my favorite parts about doing a reading 🥰
Thanks again for the review, anon! It's absolutely wonderful and I'm incredibly grateful for it, and for you too (:
Blessings!
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Scavenger Guild Incorrect Quotes (plus Christopher):
For context: Emma Laurent is a newly created Solo Leveling Arise character (Edit: NOW I have an idea... She isn't part of the scavengers but eh, we gonna ignore that right here. Alicia Blanche is said to be her friend.)(I just wanted to make more Scavenger related things so hurt future me if everything i said here was wrong. Edit: It was lmao.)
Laura: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment?
Thomas Andre: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.
-----
Thomas Andre: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID.
Emma Laurent: *Incoherent mumbling*
Thomas Andre: Huh?
Alicia Blanche: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.
-------
Christopher Reed, Entering Thomas Andre's room: Hwang Dongsoo did it again.
Thomas Andre: Peace disturbance?
Christopher Reed: What no-
Thomas Andre: Arson..?
Christopher Reed: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-
Thomas Andre: uh....Attempted murder?
Christopher Reed: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-
________________
Emma Laurent: Seriously, I have no idea what to do.
Emma Laurent: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.
_______________
Thomas Andre: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Laura: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Hwang Dongsoo: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
________
Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Thomas Andre, with Laura and Christopher Reed behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes…three.
Thomas Andre: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Thomas Andre: Hwang Dongsoo FUCKING FELL OFF!
__________________
Hwang Dongsoo: Hey, do you know the password to Laura’s computer?
Christopher Reed: Fuck you, Hwang Dongsoo.
Hwang Dongsoo: Hey!!
Christopher Reed: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouHwangDongsoo".
Hwang Dongsoo: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.
________________
Hwang Dongsoo: You bought a taco?
Emma Laurent: Yes.
Hwang Dongsoo: From the same truck that hit Thomas Andre?!
Emma Laurent, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.
_______________
Thomas Andre: Christopher Reed, my old friend!
Christopher Reed: I think you tried to kill me at some point.
Thomas Andre: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.
_____________
Christopher Reed: It’s not that I don’t trust Thomas Andre, I just... don’t ’t trust their impulse control.
______________
Emma Laurent: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!
Thomas Andre: This unmitigated poppycock?
Christopher Reed: Extravagant hogwash!
Emma Laurent: Okay, stop.
_____________
Emma Laurent: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.
Thomas Andre: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?
Emma Laurent: I like the way you think.
______________
Laura: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.
Hwang Dongsoo: Fucking Thomas Andre and Emma Laurent were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.
*They were doing Karaoke night.*
_____________
Emma Laurent: Laura, gather the others. We need to have another Hwang Dongsoo-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.
___________
Laura: What do we say when making bread?
Emma Laurent, glumly: That's the dough rising.
Laura: And what do we NOT say?
Thomas Andre, sadly: That's the yeast fucking.
____________
Emma Laurent: So, everyone, what does a story NEED?
Alicia Blanche: A character!
Christopher Reed: A setting!
Hwang Dongsoo, a gleam in their eyes, in a near-whisper: REVENGE.
________
Hwang Dongsoo: WHO THE FUCK-
Laura: Whoa, language!
Hwang Dongsoo: I speak fucking English!
Laura: ...
____________
Emma Laurent, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Alicia Blanche, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.
Laura: What the fuck are you guys doing?
Emma Laurent: Playing systemic oppression.
___________
Alicia Blanche: The first time I ever got upset in front of Thomas Andre, they put their arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask them if they were hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.
Thomas Andre: I was doing both, for your information.
Emma Laurent: The first time Thomas Andre hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.
#solo leveling#me trying to resist the urge not to drag the original SLR characters into this as well. *AHHHH*#thomas andre#laura#emma laurent#alicia blanche#f it we rolling with the new ones#do i know anything about them? no#but living in SL does that weird chemical thing in your brain to be dtrong enough to make delulu happen#christopher reed#ive always headcanon Thomas takes care of his little weirdos and convicted criminals. i.e everyone from Scavenger.
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📜 ohhh give me earl or lamia OR zoya, earl, & chief
Send in 📜 and I’ll use this incorrect quotes generator using your muse and my muse.
I'm insane and gonna do them all anyway-
Earl
Chief: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gonna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?
Earl: Why should I feed you if your just gonna die anyways?
Chief:Chief: I'll go make my bed-
------------------------
Chief: I was arrested for being too cool.
Earl: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
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Earl: *Locks Chief in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Chief: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?
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Chief: That was a joke. Say ha.
Earl: Ha.
Chief: Now do it again.
Earl: Ha.
Chief: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.
Lamia
Chief: Hey, it’s your turn to wash the dishes.
Lamia: I’ll wash the walls red with your blood.
Chief: Okay, but before that, wash the dishes. Also, use soap this time.
------------------------
Chief: What’s up with you?
Lamia: What do you mean?
Chief: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?
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Chief: Lamia, when’s your birthday?
Lamia: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?
Chief: …So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.
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*Chief is cleaning the house and they find an empty bottle of orange juice*
Chief: Clear orange juice?
Chief: Oh, it's empty.
Lamia, who has been watching the entire time: I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot.
Zoya/Earl/Chief
Zoya: I told Chief that their ears turn red when they lie.
Earl: Do they?
Zoya: No.
Earl: Then why did you tell them that?
Zoya: Because I can do this.
Zoya: Hey Chief! Do you love us?
Chief, with their hands over their ears: No.
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Chief: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?
Earl: What’s up your ass this morning!
Zoya: *walks in* ...Hey.
Earl: Hmm… nevermind.
Chief: WAIT NO!
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Chief: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Earl: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Zoya: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
------------------------
Earl: Hey, Chief, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?
Chief: Yeah.
Earl: And you, Zoya?
Zoya: Umm... yes?
Earl: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Zoya: Did they just-
#deathfavor#never underestimate me#;sir this is my emotional support cringefail gacha game protagonist. (ooc)
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AHAHA more Incorrect quotes, again none of these belong to me. Most if not all of these will be the DA and their personal. Love is from Date, Thief is from Heist, Captain of course being iswm and DA is just The district attorney
Thief : Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Captain : CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!
Thief : And what do I get out of this?
Captain : I will give you a dollar.
Thief : What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!
Captain : How bout two dollars?
Thief : You got yourself a deal.
DA: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Love, are a fucking cactus.
Love: Could you be anymore annoying?
DA: Yes.
DA: What is the one thing I told you not to do?
Thief : Burn the house down.
DA: And what did you do?
Thief : I made dinner.
DA:
Thief :
DA:
Thief : And burnt the house down.
Love: You're pathetic!
Thief : You're pathetic-er!
Captain : You're both losers.
Captain : DA taught me to think before I act.
Captain : ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.
Captain : How did you break your leg?
Thief : Do you see those porch stairs?
Captain : Yes.
Thief : I didn't.
Love: You use humor to deflect your trauma.
Thief : Awww, thanks-
Love: That’s not a good thing.
Thief : All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.
DA : *looks at Thief *
DA : Baby boy. Baby.
DA : *looks at Love*
DA : Evil.
Captain : If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.
Love: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Captain : Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Thief : YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
Love, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
DA , pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Captain , pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Thief , trembling: What are we playing?!
Captain : We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to their chest*
Love: We have heart?
Captain : Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.
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Incorrect Quotes, SLSQ Edition
Author's Note: Heeyyy @harlequinoccult! Hope I did okay with the slashers! While writing this I have misspelled Nopperabo as Nobberabo SO. MANY. TIMES. Edit, I somehow missed some pronouns so I fixed that
~~~~~~~~
Nopperabo: Dahlia, do you ever want to talk about your emotions?
Black Dahlia: No
Hannya: I do!!
Nopperabo: I know, Hannya...
Hannya: I'm sad >:D
Nopperabo: I know, Hannya
~~~~~~~
Hannya: To fully heal my inner child I'm gonna have to kill some people
~~~~~~~
Computer: choose a password
Nopperabo: bl4ck_d4hli4
Computer: your password is too short
Nopperabo, whispering: I know but please don't tell her… she’ll get mad
~~~~~~~
Apotheosis: the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part deal with it.
Elysium: darkness without light is an abyss, light without darkness is blinding, you cannot have a coin with one side.
Hannya/Overdose: yo Socrates, it’s a fucking cookie.
~~~~~~~
Hannya: Like it's MY fault my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill 🙄
~~~~~~~
Nopperabo/Host: you're so pretty~
Black Dahlia/Apotheosis: I can fucking kill you
Nopperabo/Host: I know ❤❤
~~~~~~~
Elysium: my future partner must be intelligent, unfazed by even the most of disturbing things, and capable in every way possible—
Nopperabo: *trips and falls with a tray of cupcakes in his hands and then proceeds to sob for thirty minutes*
Elysium: that one. that’s the one I want.
~~~~~~~
Nopperabo: Do you ever think it’s weird that paper technically has six sides but we can only use two of them effectively?
Hannya: The other four are for bloodshed.
Black Dahlia: …
Cold: …
Elysium: …
Sweetheart: …
Host/Overdose: Zer not wrong.
Apotheosis: Agreed, ze’s actually onto something for once.
~~~~~~~
Hannya: I swear, no matter how long I've been friends with people, there's always someone who's surprised that I'm left handed.
Overdose: You're left handed?!?
Hannya:
Hannya: *Punches a wall*
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More Incorrect Quotes from my AU of animated rogues in a found family!
Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Hans: Which one? I have eight.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Hans: Which one? I have seven.
Dawn, distantly: HEY!!!
Hans: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Prof. Callaghan: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Gothel: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
Prof. Callaghan: How did none of you hear what I just said?!
Dawn: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Randall: I got distracted halfway through.
Ernesto: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Randall: This is a bad idea.
Gothel: Then why are you coming along?
Randall: Someone has to get your injured ass home.
Ernesto: *sighs*
Dawn: You bored?
Ernesto: Si.
Dawn: Wanna start drama for no reason?
Ernesto: I thought you’d never ask.
Syndrome, holding a scooter: Gothel! Can I go outside and play with this?
Gothel: Sure, whatever. I'm not your mother, okay?
Syndrome, running outside: Thanks Gothel!
Gothel, running out after him and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!
Charles: Bob just insisted the squad and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.
Charles: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.
Ernesto: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.
Hans: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.
Syndrome: Wasps?
Charles: Terriers?
Ernesto: Dawn.
Charles: I taught Alpha a new trick. *throws ball* Fetch!
Alpha: *just stands there*
Prof. Callaghan: He didn’t do it.
Charles: I taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself.
Gothel: I’m never donating blood ever again. The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another!
Gothel: ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?
Randall: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!
Dawn: You left me, Ernie, and Turbo in a Walmart parking lot at 2 am yesterday.
Randall: I did that on purpose, try again.
Randall: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them.
Randall: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.
Syndrome: I failed my safety training course today.
Hans: Why, what happened?
Syndrome: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"
Hans: And?
Syndrome: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.
Prof. Callaghan: Charles, you need to calm down.
Charles, slamming his fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!
Hans, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.
Ernesto: But how-
Hans, ignoring him: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “No thanks”.
Hans: So, did everyone learn their lesson?
Turbo: No.
Ernesto: I did not.
Syndrome: I may have actually forgotten one.
Randall: Also no.
Hans: Oh good, neither did I.
Prof. Callaghan: *Exhausted sigh*
Ernesto: I think Dawn is in trouble.
Randall: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.
Hans: Ladies, gentlemen, and Phoenix, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!
Turbo: A llama?
Hans: No.
Turbo: A baby llama?
Hans: No!
Turbo: A baby llama with a little hat on?
Hans: NO!
Prof. Callaghan, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Charles: Yeah, sure.,
*A few minutes later*
Charles: Here you go.
Prof. Callaghan:
Charles:
Phoenix: Why am I here?
(scenario: Ernesto has decided to throw the author a surprise party)
Ernesto: Una fiesta is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Phoenix has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.
Gothel: By forcing him to have fun at a party that she doesn’t want to be at?
Ernesto: I knew you’d understand.
(Of course, as someone who hates parties, my reaction would be a mix of rage and mortification)
Charles: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Prof. Callaghan: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
Charles: I—
Charles: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.
Gothel, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I Killed a Guy, and I liked it-
Prof. Callaghan, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?
Dawn, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.
Ernesto, appalled: Call the exorcist.
Randall, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVER’S CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.
Turbo: Do you guys hear something?
Randall: I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up.
Gothel: *Locks Syndrome in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Syndrome: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?
[Turbo comes in wearing a banana costume]
Gothel: I can't take you seriously wearing that.
Turbo: Aw, you take me seriously at all?
Gothel: Fair point.
Charles: Two bros!
Charles: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Charles: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!
[Prof. Callaghan just sits there facepalming, thinking why is he like this?]
[Scenario: Late night on Thanksgiving, after dinner, the squad minus Hans is strewn about the living room asleep]
Hans [looking at them, thinking]: Just look at them. Stuffed and unconscious like a bunch of beached whales. [he smiles softly] And they’re all mine. And for that, I’m truly thankful.
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