#two years on tuesday but yk what the fUCK

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 03.07.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

stardust - @euphoricfilter (jjk x reader | fluff, smut, f2l)

summary:  if jungkook would have known an unintentional orgasm would have led to this, then he would have begged you to work out with him sooner.

naur bby when i tell you i loved this from the first paragraph...

"If every living being’s foundation is made of stardust, scattered when born, then Jungkook thinks the two of you were made from the same star."

and the way you continued the analogy throughout was pure literature gold (or should i say diamond teehee). its stuff like this that i read and im like damn, the moots are really out here posting fics that could easily be published best sellers for fucking free!! how lucky are we!!!

OOF AND THE PILLOW PRINCESS COMMENT HAD ME LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM BLUSHING BC HOW DOES HE KNOW ME LIKE THAT I FELT CALLED OUT LMAO

and the whole workout scene hits even better after his workout live like i legit was able to visual everything... and sex in the mirror will never not be top tier :')

i love this jungkook dearly. this is how i imagine irl jk yk? just that hopeless romantic vibe, feeling that he has someone on this earth that is meant for him and he's meant for them. thats encapsulated so beautifully in this fic. such beautiful writing, thank you for blessing us with this fucking masterpiece!!

knee high socks - @minniesvenus (jjk x reader | smut, college au)

summary: after being obsessed with you and your knee high socks for forever, jungkook can't believe that you finally notice him.

okay so do you ever just hear a song or smell a smell that feels so incredibly nostalgic and fills your head with dreamy thoughts and stars and stuff... that's exactly how i felt while reading this! like i just kept thinking of the arctic monkeys song and the way you characterized jungkook's crush is just so authentic. its just that pure school crush feeling where you anticpate seeing this person and the more time you see them you pick up on little things and it makes you fall even deeper oof. there's just something so fimilair about the way you wrote this and it's probably one of the most realistic depictions i've seen of the natural progression of a crush like uGH THE FUCKING TALENT !!!

and it makes you root for him so much like i was internally cheering for him when she asked him to sit next to him. it was so fucking wholesome and sweet i screamed

and then shit got unwholesome real quick whew

her giving him praise actually made me so happy though! like you definitely inspired me to write more of that bc its so refreshing and cute!! and the smut was saur naughty but so sweet bc she was just guiding him through the motions and once again it just felt so natural which is no easy feet!! like you really hit the nail on the head with this one and it will be added to my comfort fic list asap!! so so so lovely!!

in the seom: love for dummies - @thvhoe (jjk x reader | smut, fluff, angst, fwb, college au, camping au)

summary: always the friend, never the girlfriend. jeon jungkook doesn't date. at least that's what he thought until he met you, a chemistry student who seemed to have it all—except for love. meeting at a mutual friends frat party, you hit it off right away. however, due to both of your stubbornness, it has never progressed beyond being friends with benefits. the annual camping trip with your friend group was supposed to be the turning point in your relationship with jungkook. but what happens when your best friend of 18 years unexpectedly comes back from busan and confesses to you, further complicating matters?

OoF WHAT A FUCKING OPENING SCENE LMAO!! i was horny from fucking JUMP!!! and kook juggling between pet names and not knowing what to call her made me giggle but always made me extremely soft like aw :') <3

and y/n really whipped that fuckboy into shape we love to see it!! he better buy gifts n work for the coochie!!! >:(

"Pookie🩶: Can't sleep. Send me a pic of your boobies?"

this had me cackling bc this behavior is saur... annoyingly endearing like he legit is a big baby and i love him lmao even though unholy he is extremely cute.

^y/n and i both having immaculate taste and listening to ditto

and i am so thankful things turned out well for this pairing. i felt so sad for him like ugh the protectiveness and worry over her. he was generally just so wholesome throughout this entire fic. def a fav protrayal of jungkook. thank you so much for sharing this beautiful peice with us my love!

#reviewsday #kikirecs #jungkook #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenario #jungkook au #bts fanfic #bts fic recs #bts #bangtan #jungkook x y/n

[uncouth-the-fifth]

(you are a) natural, baby - Sam Winchester/Reader

read it on ao3.

Pairing: Virgin!Sam Winchester/AFAB!Reader (vaguely s1 or 2) Tags/Warnings: blowjobs, deepthroating, Impala sex, whiny/submissive Sam (with hints of the opposite). nothing too insane. yk the deal. Word Count: 11034 Notes: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. i've been. thinking about sam lately. and i MAY or may not have had the most vivid wet dream of my life... which may or may not have inspired this slightly........... enjoy! there will be a sequel btw ;) for plot's sake, yes, Sam is 23 and is still a virgin 🍾 Ask to be added to my taglists for future posts!

You couldn't believe your luck.

You notched the car into park, lips parted in disbelief. Holy shit. Rain bore down on the car from all sides, making an already dark night impossible to walk in, nevermind drive. Baby—or the Impala, you corrected yourself, since Sam always poked fun at you for picking up Dean's little nickname—had puttered out her last huff of warm air a few miles back. That left at least another hour’s worth of driving until you were back to Dean, who was waiting back where your present job was. There was no way you could get back in this weather. It'd be past midnight soon anyway, so…

You played your fingers on the wheel. Bent over it, squinting at the rain. Slumped back in your seat. All the while, Sam watched you go through the motions passively. He already knew what you knew: you'd have to camp here for the night. Just the two of you. Alone.

The universe had done everything short of smashing you together like kissing barbies. In this week alone, the messy line of feelings between you and Sam had been tested at least a hundred times. It was obscene. Ever since Sam's twenty-third birthday, all the forces of nature had woken to remind you at every turn how stupid horny you were for him. Sam was no longer the beanpole you could easily throw while sparring; there was a man in your passenger’s seat, a good deal taller than you on miles and miles of leg, with handsome, veiny arms and a lap made for sitting in. Your childhood crush had been nursed so long that it'd grown into love. But now that you were a twenty-five-year-old, full-time hunter, there was little room for a childhood novelty. You had instead made space for a covetous, needy desire that the universe loved to throw in your face.

Monday. Sam had helped Dean out with one of the less-than-junk cars in Bobby's yard, bent up under the bonnet, sweat and grime making his tee cling to the landscape of his back. And Jesus, what a landscape it was… Sloped and firm with experienced, long-developed muscle. Tuesday. Dean got on the subject of blowjobs, and Sam immediately got off the subject. Significantly, you learned he's never had one. Your mouth watered just sitting next to him. Wednesday. You risked using the last towels in the pile for your shower, each just big enough to close and cover your modesty—if you don’t stand up straight. Sam caught you coming out of said shower. He looked, looked some more, and you sniped at him for it around the saliva building in your mouth. All you wanted to do was claw his jeans around his ankles and blow him until he forgot his name. Sam lingered like he wanted the exact same thing, and both of you pretended to ignore the tent in his pants. Thursday. Sam coached you in long-bowing. You stood just inches apart in an empty field, Sam's shoes between your in the grass, and you fucked up every damn shot because Sam's massive hands were on your waist and your hips and in your belt-loops. He'd lean in until he was almost kissing the shell of your ear and say, S’ alright. Just focus on your footing. You're doing great, even though you hadn't hit a single target. Friday. You, him and Dean left for a North Dakota case. You had to share a bed with one of the boys, and Sam reminded you what sharing meant the whole night, huffing soft moaning breaths against the back of your neck in his sleep.

You resist the urge to clamp your thighs together. It'd been freezing cold in your room and you’d been sharing beds since you were young; to have just your backs pressed together was impressive. At one point, you turned over and Sam stretched back to meet you, his warm spine flush to your chest without hesitation, flaying you instantly. He’d seeped back into the mattress as content as could be. You resisted the urge to run your fingers through his floppy hair, or caress the smooth strip of flesh that the seam of his shirt didn't cover. You failed at the first—but to be fair, Sam's hair was in your face and it was annoying you and you had to be close, because the room was so cold. And your hand just ended up there. And then it ended up under his shirt, your nails stroking his stomach, because Sam was a tease who'd dragged your arm around him in the first place. He'd been shaking, it was so cold. You couldn't just let him freeze. Regardless, it was hard to say no to him when he was smoothing your palm against his ribs like that.

“Think we can make a run to get the blankets from the trunk?” Sam invited. “I can do it if you give me the keys.”

You wanted to say more to that, but you settled instead on taking the keys out of the Impala and dropping them in Sam’s waiting hand. “Thank you,” you murmured, and Sam bobbed his head once before braving the weather.

He was gone for less than a minute, but the clinging silence that rang in your ears could’ve gone on forever. The rain pounded across the car with a vendetta, plunking off the metal and hammering over your empty parking lot just as hard. It raced down the glass fast enough to make the outside world a shimmering blue mirage. Sam’s figure was a darker silhouette closer to the glass, and you busied yourself putting a sweater on as he dove inside.

“Dammit,” Sam cursed. He knew better than to shake his hair out on Dean’s good leather, so he tossed down the blankets in between you—and there was a generous gap—to hunt around the backseat for a towel. The amber streetlights gave you just one glimpse of Sam’s rain-streaked face. It shouldn’t have flushed your belly with want as much as it did, but that’s half the reason you were in this mess.

“S’ bad out there,” you said, obviously. Sam agreed with a hum, and together you sorted yourselves for relaxing before you slept.

Before, you’d had the car on and the heater going, so you were mostly okay with your jackets tossed in the backseat. Sam had on a tee and a moss-colored sweater to keep him warm, and you had the thought of his firm muscle underneath those layers to keep you warm. Though more cold had seeped back into the Impala, you didn’t put on your jacket, toeing off your boots in the footwell. You piled on your blankets and curled up against the seat, Sam doing the same. He hadn’t put his jacket on either.

You shared a glance. Well, it was more like Sam was already looking at you and you caught him, flushing up to your ears. “There’s no way we won’t make it there til morning,” he said, “I’ll text Dean.”

“Good idea,” you agreed. You brought your legs closer to your chest, bumping Sam’s thigh with a stray foot. To your surprise, he glanced up at you at the contact, and again you found one of his coy glances. You couldn’t believe it. Was he...?

All four burners in your body flicked onto a simmer at the same time. You bit your lip, taking him in as he was illuminated by his phone’s screen, wet twisting curls of hair in his eyes. “S’ okay. I don’t think Dean will care, with how slow this case is going. Though I can guess why you’re so eager to get back,” you tested the waters with a sly smile. “That witness—Miss Checknik, she was really aiming to get you alone, huh?”

Sam was still raw from Dean pressing his buttons on this, so he was shier than usual when he mumbled, “It’s… not like that… I’ve never even done that before.”

“What?” you blurted. “Had sex?”

Sam’s gaze snapped up to yours. Around you the rain roared, but you still caught his subtle hitch of breath. His pause went on for another telling amount of time, until Sam’s ears were red too. “...It’s not like you have either,” he muttered.

This had to be on purpose. You tossed an arm over the back of the seat, knuckles against your cheek and a growing, sly smile on your face.

Sam sat up. “You’re kidding. Really?”

You slouched, huffing. “What, is that a surprise or something?”

“No,” Sam spoke a little too quickly, like he’d been thinking about it. He swallowed. “No, not at all. I was just…”

You wet your lips and let your eyes drift over him. Sam sat stiff in your passenger's seat, legs crossed a little too tightly, his hands folded together over his lap, hiding a building, jealous hard-on. A muscle jumped in his neck. The shivery warmth that reigned over you every time Sam entered the room conquered you again, watching him squirm, and you couldn't help but do the math. You could… you could make an offer. If he said no, that was fine. All you’d have to do was endure a night's sleep in the car with him then a few awkward days afterward—but you and Sam had done that dance a hundred times before, after kissing for spin-the-bottle or getting caught lusting after each other, so maybe this was it. This week had been filled with omens.

You went all in.

“We travel a lot and it relieves stress, so… I’ve picked up a few dates. Bar-flings, heat-of-the-moment stuff with hunters, every once in a while.”

You risked a glance at him through your lashes. Sam had inched closer to listen, just enough for you to notice, and was clearly trying to sculpt his face into something less interested—but his eyes were glazed and his attention was rapt. You had him right on the hook.

Sam swallowed. His voice was thick with arousal. “I, um, didn't know that was your thing.”

You shrugged, “I don’t enjoy it as much as Dean does, but yeah. The guys I pick up, I mean—they’re okay. Most can't find their way around a bra, never mind… well, y’know. You get what you can get. But the other parts, the fun parts of sex…” Even you were blushing at how dirty your smile felt. “I'm real lucky, Sam. Most girls don't get off making their partners happy, but I do. It's… made me real good.” You twisted so your chest was pushed toward him, feeling yourself ache in your jeans. You hushed coyly: “I’m told I’m a real natural with my mouth.”

“Really.” Sam repeated. He sputtered out a half-hearted chuckle. His cheeks had gone all cute and ruddy with a blush, exposing the lighter moles on his face.

“Really,” you promised.

The look on Sam's face went beyond teasing, now. You’d told yourself you were just messing around with him, but Sam was twitching in his seat, suddenly unable to sit right, and all the years of play-flirting had apparently stacked too high. Something hot and magnetic had brought you closer and closer together in the Impala’s front seat. Sam was frozen like he wanted to crawl out into the rain and disappear—always so shy, so easy—but something else rooted him to the spot this time. One more motion and you could close that measly gap blazing between you, get his skin pressed firmly to yours. Your arms and back and belly crawled with a phantom itch, and Sam's hands looked so perfect and big that you knew they could fix that feeling. Your mouth felt wet and lonely. Sam's was right there, panting as he waited for you to do something.

“Have you really never had sex before?” You filled Sam's flushed silence. You scrutinized him, brows furrowed with sympathy. “Not even a blowjob?”

Sam's whole body hitched like a slow to start engine at the word. He temporarily forgot himself, choking on his breath and roaming his sweaty palms across his thighs—uncovering, for just an instant, the outline of something firm and big in his jeans.

Still, Sam's eyes couldn't shake yours.

“Um, no,” Sam admitted. “Never had t-the… opportunity, I guess. Or the right person.”

“Would you?” You scrambled to let the words loose, then resettled in your seat, lounging back and stifling your excitement. Sam's dick. Sam's big, virgin dick in your mouth. “If the right person…” you gestured vaguely, like this was still at all a hypothetical, “gave you the opportunity?”

It took Sam a second, eyes flickering fast over your face beneath his bangs, but eventually, he gave a single short nod.

A nuclear reactor’s worth of heat sizzled up from your toes. It bubbled out of you in a pleased, purring sigh, and you could barely suppress your grin, your butterflies, your nervousness, when you crawled into the cold space beside him on the bench. You leaned in slow by his ear. Your nails played across his thudding pulse, his taut neck, spurring Sam’s breaths into gasps. At an agonizing pace, you dragged your soft nails behind his ear, to the tingling nape of Sam's neck, and relished in the feel of his flesh like a vampire as you stroked him there. The blunts of your nails scratched gently at his hairline. Sam squeezed out a soft moaning sigh, so sweet and trusting that you closed your eyes to soak in it all the way.

After a few strokes of your nails to Sam's shivering skin, you fanned your warm breath down his shuddering collar and barely kept yourself from moaning in his ear: “I’m real smart with my mouth, Sammy… I could make your first time good for you. Better n’ good, even.”

He sat there in utter disbelief. Sam breathed hard, and now that your hand was on him, his squirming had stopped. After a deep, weighing pause, Sam removed his hands from his lap and slid them down to his knees instead, tasting the growing appetite in his mouth.

“...What would it feel like?” The rasp in his voice made you instantly wet.

You flushed. “You want me to describe it to you?”

Sam gave a shy shrug of his shoulders, playing innocent, but that clever smile of his had been haunting you all week. He knew precisely what he was doing. “Never had one,” Sam reminded.

The car was suddenly boiling. You had kicked off your blanket a long time ago, and so had Sam, which left you in layers that neither of you wanted anymore.

“Well,” you breathed out, amused. You gave yourself room to undo your coat, and Sam hung on every motion, making each exposed inch of you feel needy and overheated. “I really only know it from the giver's point of view, but, um, it's really fun for guys. I'm sure you've heard other men talk about it before. Unwinds your whole body and blows your mind, done right,” you talked as you shed your coat. “If they made it sound easy to give a good blowjob, Sam—it’s not. You have to know what you're doing, how to read your partner… know what they like… luckily for you,” you hummed, “I've never had a complaint.”

Sam nodded after nearly everything you said, unsure where to settle his hands or what to say. He looked more demure than you’d ever seen him, and it was so cute to you it was almost unbearable. You could imagine him making that exact face at you with his wet dick pushing into the inside of your cheek—all bashful but desperate, hinged on your every word, your every lick. The thought of all the pretty sounds he'd make when you blew him left you on sensory overload, and the only thing that would fix it was Sam kissing you breathless.

It struck you that Sam was really gonna let you do this for him, after years of him caring too much about you to let you take care of him. You were left with a peculiar rush; Sam trusted you.

“Blowjobs are… all the good bits of kissing and jerking off put together,” you explained. You settled back where you’d been before, hanging on Sam's shoulder and talking filthy in his ear as he quivered with want. This time your nails drew circles on his collar, and Sam surprised you by squeezing his hand around your thigh to steady himself. You could've cum on the spot. A flood of heat burned down your gut and throbbed between your legs, soaking your underwear clean through.

You’d never stopped looking at each other, but your faces were closer than ever and the eye contact felt explosive. It was dark but for the streetlight, and quiet but for the endless rain, both aspects of life you saw every day—monsters in the dark and a storm banging on the car. But with Sam there, these everyday mundanes felt… romantic. Passionate, like the movies. His eyes were this beautiful, soft fawn brown. You couldn't wait to see that slip of color admire you from between Sam's thighs.

“The girl, she’ll…” your mouth flooded with drool. “I’ll get down on my knees for you,” you corrected, boldly.

Sam sucked in a shaky breath, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you rasped. “And I'll get nice and comfy there, because I'm gonna waste as much time on you as I can…”

Your hand graduated into his hair again, since Sam forgot how to breathe each time you did it, and with it occupied you lingered on his face. Sam looked piss-drunk with lust; his head was on a swivel, lolling in whatever direction you went, his lashes fluttering low on red-patched cheeks. “I'm gonna take my time getting your pants off, y’know, tickling your legs.” A particularly dirty thought occurred to you, and it must've shown on your face because Sam's parted lips opened further. “Maybe, if you wanted, I could do this little trick I learned with my teeth… open your fly that way. You want that?”

Sam's eyes flicked down to your mouth, thinking. “I do,” he bobbed his head, “I really do.”

“Okay.” You pet Sam's chest, and coupled with the attention of your nails in his hair, a moan seeped out of him, vibrating somewhere deep under your hand. You grinned a shark’s grin. “...Then I'd look at you like that, cause’ that's what I've been dying to do for ages, see you all hard for me and nobody else. You might kill me cause’ you're so beautiful, Sam. And I'd kiss you everywhere I could… all over your thighs, your hips, the muscles in your stomach, your dick… your cock.” A whine jumped out of Sam's throat. Just the word made your throat feel open. “When you're squirming and begging for me to pull you out, I'll take off your boxer briefs, too, the blue ones I know you're wearing—” You’d seen him in them that morning, when he'd crossed his arms and his shirt had rucked up enough to flash some belly. Sam huffed an embarrassed laugh, and you kept going. “I know exactly what I'll do when your boxers are off, cause’ I've been waiting years for it. M’ gonna take your dick in my hand and just admire it, feel how big it is, imagine what it'll be like inside me—” Sam cursed aloud at that, “—inside my warm, wet mouth. I've been imagining what it looks and feels like for so long, Sammy, I think I deserve to see the real deal. Don't you think?”

You ran a finger along Sam's collarbone, and he rolled into it, chasing the slightest touch of your hand regardless if it was on his dick or not. You hadn't even drifted below his belt yet, and Sam was still arching into your touch like it would make him cum. He nodded mindlessly, sweat and rain making his hair cling to his face. “God,” he swore. “You do, ____—you d’serve it so much… so much…”

You cupped Sam's sweaty, tacky jaw, and he sighed like you’d rubbed him through his jeans. You resisted the urge to do just that, asking, “Can I have a kiss, Sammy?”

Sam peeled himself off the seat and rolled into your arms. The hand on your thigh was joined by a second, bracing his huge, sturdy palms on your legs in a way that made you grateful you weren't balancing on them, and with his face nestled in your hands and his eyes all dewy for you, Sam kissed you. You knew that that was it—every time you found your way to a kiss with him, it was the final straw. You loved him. Sam kissed you like he loved you too, pecking you soft and light like you were his dream girl, like he only wanted to treat you gentle, since so often his hands were forced to do the opposite. Quickly, your fingers were in his rain-tangled hair. Sam drew back to groan and then angled his head, pecking you in deep and loving bursts until you were giggling at him. He kissed those giggles too, smiling into his dimples. Sam never failed to make your heart go rabid when he did that, kissing you good; you had seen him kiss other girls before, and he never seemed as skilled or intuitive unless it was with you. Something tirelessly drove him to impress you.

You urged Sam's back flat to the seat again. With your leverage returned, you cupped his neck, then his shoulders, slipping your hands into his shirt, first through his collar and then up his stomach, palms seeking and appreciative. His flesh was warm and his figure was firm or yielding in all the right places. Sometimes, when you sparred and Sam was on top of you, or when you shared beds and his back was pressed to yours, you got glimpses of what Sam felt like. But now that you were free to roam where you pleased, only one signal could make its way through your nervous system: he is so beautiful. You uttered this to him in a frenzy. Sam couldn't get any redder, but you could feel his skin get warmer yourself, could press your hands flat to it and feel the life underneath, which was all the response you needed.

You licked your way into Sam's mouth. He was pliant for you as you did, whole-heartedly enjoying the filthiness of your tongue lapping and sucking at his, even if it was new to him. You laved yours from his bottom lip, across his open, wet mouth and flat against his top lip, prying approving little sounds from him. Butterflies furled and unfurled their wings in your stomach.

When you finally freed yourself, you sucked down breaths open-mouthed and fell back on your haunches.

“That's how it's gonna feel on your cock,” you proclaimed, and swiped a line of spit off his chin.

“Yeah?” Sam panted.

You wormed your fingers under the seam of your tight tee and yanked it over your head, cursing at him in a wrecked whisper. “Yeah. Then I'm gonna put you all the way in my throat, every inch of you, lickin’ and kissin’ all I can get. And when you're ready to cum, m’ gonna play with you, n’ hold you in mouth and make you sit like that.”

Sam mewled, only making your craze to get your pants off even worse. “Why?”

“‘Cause you've tortured me, baby,” you swore. You rocked back onto your tailbone and wormed off your bottoms, sucking back spit at the sight of Sam puppy-dog-eying you and palming his dick—palming his dick because of you, because of your lacy black underwear and how it looked on you. You knew you looked hot. But Sam made you feel it, like you were a Victoria's Secret cover model, like you were the hottest girl he'd ever seen, naked or otherwise. And you were—Sam had never been with anyone else. “Look at me, Sammy. You've tortured me. Made me wait to kiss you and touch you like this for so long, I almost lost my mind. So you're gonna get a taste of your own medicine, just for a bit—and when I think you can't take it anymore, just like me, then I'm gonna let you cum wherever you want. On my face, my tits, on my stomach…” you choked back a wave of unbridled, insatiable want, groaning out, “...in my mouth… inside me...”

The low, guttural noise puttering out of Sam broke. He took you by the underarms and yanked you against him, genuinely hauling you off your ass with a strength you forgot he had, little pants and miserable snarling moans pouring from him. Your mouths slotted together hard and unprettily. It knocked a girlish laugh out of you—when Sam let you breathe between sucking your face off, anyway.

“You like that idea, huh?” You teased.

Sam dropped a hand across your temple. His hand was so big that it could cover the entirety of your face, or perfectly seal over your mouth. In ways no other man had ever done for you, he stroked your hair back all tender just so he could get a look at his girl. You nuzzled into the weight without any mind for where you were going, knowing nothing but Sam’s love and Sam’s chest expanding and shrinking between you.

Those big fawn eyes wondered up at you. “You’d let me do that? Already?”

“I’d let you do anything.” You dropped what remained of your filter. This was truly dumbfounding to him, apparently, because Sam sat there stupidly for a second with his mouth open. He snapped it shut as you neared your faces, making it even easier to press a kiss to the seam of his mouth. “Any other man would take advantage of that chance. M’ not stupid. But you’re the only one I can think of who’d… who’d,” you searched for the words, admiring Sam’s nosebridge with your thumb. He had such pretty moles. “You’d be good to me,” you concluded.

Sam blinked. “...I’d want to be,” he smiled, sounding dulcet. Again, Sam brushed back your hair. “I mean… Anybody who wouldn’t be good to you i-is… is an idiot.”

“Exactly,” you smirked. Slow and sultry, you pressed your nose and lips into the plush of Sam’s cheek and dragged, then a little more, just glimpsing the skin with yours. He was ready and shuddering when your lips were at his ear. “That’s why it’s you I’m thinking about when I’m fingering myself.”

Another weak sound wept out of Sam. Christ, the noises he could make. If your imagination had even come close to the real thing, you would’ve been this dirty-mouthed with him ages ago.

Sam cursed, “Jesus, ____.”

“It’s true.” You pressed this promise with a kiss into his cheek, then again, at his jaw, letting yourself sink into each one with boundless pleasure. Sam melted helplessly against you, ears perked. “Every day. Every time I took a shower, after sharing a bed with you all weekend. I was always soaking wet because of something you’d done hours ago that I just couldn’t shake, hot out of my mind…” you swallowed down another onslaught of drool. “I pictured you having a hard day, y’know, needing something to perk you up. I’d haul your jeans down and lick you all over like an ice cream cone.”

Sam’s whole upper body was blushing so hard now that steam floated off him. “God, me too.”

Your brows raised. “Yeah?”

He nodded himself dizzy. “That same thing. You having a hard day. I’d… I’d…”

You leaned in, blinking in shock. “How did you imagine it?”

“We’d be kissing.” One of his long, too-long-to-be-wasted fingers followed a thread of your panties. “On your bed, the Impala, wherever we could find. I’d lay back and… and you’d crawl on top of me…get your legs around my head—”

Sam’s hot, moist breath tickled your face. So close, with your lips wet from Sam’s kissing already, it was all too easy to follow along with his fantasy. Sitting in his lap in the backseat. Laying him down there, your palms flat and steadying on his chest. Curling your thighs around his face until his nose pressed up into you, then his mouth, slipping open, and his hot, silky tongue taking long drinks of you. The sensory ghost of it alone could’ve made you cum.

You blurted: “You’d eat me out?”

One man-paw of his smoothed down the planes of your back, palming big handfuls of your skin. Now, it was his turn to smile wolfishly. Sam confessed: “I’ve always wanted to.”

The admission temporarily launched you into orbit, and for a long time you hung there, clinging to him by the shirt, dully aware of the rainy smell of him and how hard your cunt was pulsing. Sam. Your Sam, sitting with these thoughts in his head. At the same time that you were pushing your knees together when he sat beside you at the dinner table, Sam was fantasizing about getting between them. The eroticism of it already had you close to edge. Anytime you’d ever been with him, at some point, Sam had to have thought about how his fingers would feel digging into your ass-flesh while he fucked you with his tongue, while you squealed his name, the flat of your toes curled against his shoulders. Uncensored. He could’ve revealed any fantasy on top of that, but he chose this one. The one that had him pleasuring you and fucking loving it. Sam didn’t just want you—he wanted the angle that could get him the most of you, the most exposed and honest position. You fucking loved him.

You were tonguing into his mouth before Sam could finish, both hands in possessive fists around his shirt. Sam started laughing, the asshole, but you persisted, closing him in with passionate dips of your head and kissing him senseless. Your hands feasted on him, clawing into his hair and down the back of his shirt and around again. Nothing was enough. You were convinced you wouldn’t be satisfied until you were Sam, or melded into him somehow, like chocolate chips in a warm pot.

“Thought about… tasting you n’ makin’ you feel good,” Sam hissed. “So good that you’d have’ta put your fist in your mouth to stop yourself from screaming. You’d put your hands in my hair a-and… and… shit, you’d taste so good. I want to taste you so bad, ____. Want you to—” he leached you into a long, surging kiss, purring deep in his throat, “sit on my face.”

You wrestled down a choked whine, which Sam swallowed. Every movement of his mouth went straight to your pussy, echoing there. Sam must’ve known this, because he kissed you exactly as he would between your thighs, all tongue and sucking lips, unbearably hot in comparison to your untouched cunt. You could almost feel the blazing front of his mouth bearing down on you there, his breath fanning over you and his tongue—god, his fucking tongue—flexing into your clit. You broke away.

Sam’s hands hesitated at the top of your back, then all at once took two whole handfuls of your ass, and pushed up with his hips to open your thighs for him. You let slip a helpless moan. His hands were warm and calloused and everywhere, except for the precise place you needed him most. But above all else, Sam was a selfless, loving man, so immediately he was moving to drag down your panties.

“Please,” he choked. “Please, ____, please, I can—I can do it for you—lemme do it for you, baby. Let me take care a’ you.”

“Sam.”

You pressed both palms flat to Sam’s chest in an order. Sam immediately stopped, though he did not look pleased about it. You took a breath to realize the pussy-eating fiend you were soon to have all to yourself, then stepped back to your initial focus. “You’ll have to wait. Want you first, pretty boy. Have you ever even done that before?”

Sam shook his head, sending his bangs fluttering around his face. He pouted. His hands coasted along your arms, dragging you down and into him still.

Bleeding with earnestness, he husked, “No. But I’ll learn for you. I’ll practice on you over and over again, til’ I’m better than anybody you’ve ever had that way. S’ all I want.”

You bit your lip and, god, was it impossible to say no to him.

“I'm all yours, Sammy. Whatever you need, you know I'll give it to you. But we’re gonna do this first, okay?”

You wanted his first time to be good, better than good, all because of you. You wanted to be his second time. His third time too, and every time after that. And if that didn't work out, then you hoped that every time he got a blowjob in the future, it was a good one. Even if it’d be downright pitiful in comparison to the way you were gonna suck his brains out now.

You reached between you and gave Sam's strained cock a generous squeeze.

Sam lost it. “Please, you, please please—” he all but sobbed. His hips rolled up and his knees snapped apart, making room for you, inviting you in, hands making marks on your arm in his scramble for touch. “Please. I-I need it, I need—I need you, god, I want to feel—”

You hung back, absorbing the result of your work. You’d barely touched him and Sam was already out of his mind. He'd had orgasms before—you’d heard him reaching them through the wall in the shower, and his desperate choking breaths were so hot that you had touched yourself right outside the door—but as good as they'd sounded, you were determined to blow them out of the race.

Sam started for his fly, which was your cue to step in. You waved his hands away, guiding them to his stomach, where they fisted in his shirt and drew it up over his sculpted naval. You shushed and soothed, “Sam, Sammy—s’okay, you're okay. I'll take care of you, alright? I'll start right now,” you peppered kisses on his face, bent beside him on your knees. “We gotta get the seat back. Help me?”

You pushed the Impala’s bench back as far as it could go, and you made sure to lay the backrest down a few more inches, too, so Sam could relax and you had a good angle on his face. He was equally considerate and folded up a blanket for you to sit on in the footwell. As soon as Sam sat up, you evaporated into his lap. You expected him to go shy on you again, but this time Sam helped you settle there, clenching his teeth and dragging his eyes up your figure. You stood still for the examination, and the longer it went on the warmer your flaming skin got. Both of Sam’s unreasonably big hands landed on your waist at the same time, and for a moment your roles reversed, Sam’s eyes smoky and heavy-lidded as he devoured the sight of you. You felt yourself throb pathetically in your panties. You were probably the first girl Sam had ever seen intimately; and, in true Sam fashion, he consumed the new sight, cataloging and learning things. A tiny whine slipped out of you when his fingers dug into your thighs, then again when Sam’s thumb brushed under the band of your bra.

“I'm all yours,” you reminded with a smile you hoped was confident. If it was, it was ruined by you shyly and awkwardly reaching for the clasp of your bra. “Whatever you want, Sam, I can do.”

He gazed up at you through his bangs, expression bleeding with love and boyish frankness. “What do you want?”

“To make you happy,” you answered, without question. “To make this night good for you, even if it's the only night we'll have.”

Sam shook his head, absent-minded. A slow, clever, panty-dropping smile developed on his face, something that was clearly common in the men of his family.

“You said that most guys you're with, like this…” he thought aloud. Sam brought you close to him, and when your shadow fell across him and you were nose to nose, he slid two warm fingers up your back and click—he was pulling your brassiere off your shoulders. “You said that most of them can't find a way around a bra, nevermind you,” he observed. “We're going to need more nights if I'm going to prove to you that I'm different.”

“Sam,” you whispered, “you were always different from them.”

You pushed him back against the seat, aligning his spine with it, and as soon as Sam hung his arms over his head you were kissing him wet and deep, both of your hands sliding and groping along the firm muscle of his raised biceps. Now only a flimsy tee stood between them, and you were as rude with it as you were with anything else keeping you from Sam. The long, muscular frame you’d been fantasizing about for years was exposed to you now, and you wasted no time getting acquainted with it. Only recently had Sam started to linger in wet t-shirts in front of you or guide your hands under his shirt as you cuddled—for longer, you’d had no clue what he looked like under his clothes. Dean got all the credit for being John's perfect hunter, but Sam had the perfect hunter's body, barrel-chested huge and wood-shattering strong.

You sunk onto your hands and knees, palming him, groping him, caressing him, outlining the lines of his muscles and his ribs with your fingers. Nobody could resist the temptation to kiss him all over, and in all fairness, you had promised. You dragged your mouth down Sam's chest, kissing the center seam of his body to his happy trail. You almost lost yourself pleasuring him this way; at the sound of Sam's deep breathing, you endured, hovering over your prize instead. You knew you must've looked beyond turned on: your dark eyes were wild, dilated and glittering with want, your panties were soaked through and your lip was almost bleeding you were biting it so hard.

“Fuck,” you cursed, settled back on Sam's thighs, “I've wanted to blow you stupid for years, Sam… it didn't matter what you looked like underneath here or not… but fuck, I feel like a schoolgirl, drooling over all these muscles. You used to be so lanky.”

“Hard to be healthy on the road,” Sam flushed. “We're fighting monsters every day, it’d be stupid to die to a heart condition…or… something.”

“Yeah,” you groaned before you could contain yourself, “but you're sure not making this crush I have on you any easier.”

Sam whispered, sounding coy as he plucked the waistband of your panties. There was that dimply smile again. “You got a crush on me, pretty girl?”

The next words poured out of you as sensually and devoutly as you felt them: “Yeah,” slow, you dismounted his thighs, folded your legs in between Sam's, and finally, finally, sunk on your shins into the footwell. “You wanna see what I do for the men I crush on, baby?”

“So bad. So damn bad,” Sam begged, and it was surreal to finally see what he looked like from this angle, since you’d been dreaming of it for so long. His head lolled back and all you could see of him was the sexy column of his throat and all the soft red lines you’d put in his skin there, just bright enough to see. His chin lowered so Sam could look at you, and sweet lord—there were those fawn brown eyes, drowning in the darkness and the black of his lashes. They boiled over with devotion and willingness and thirst, teased for far too long now. You almost felt bad enough to cut him some slack. But now you were here, with Sam's cock just inches from where it should be, and you couldn't just start going easy on him.

You did exactly what you said you would, so Sam knew what was coming. As promised, you hunkered down on the blanket Sam had folded, letting your knees settle comfortably on the floor. Then you started in on him. You played your nails across his legs, stroking the sides of his thighs, feeling how his pants clung to his skin. On his lap, it was impossible not to fantasize about Sam sitting you on one of his legs and inviting you to rut across his solid, powerful jean-clad thigh. It took a lot to make you feel tiny—but Sam did just that. Crouched down at his feet like this, Sam only seemed bigger and his body better built than usual. You pressed your cheek against his inner thigh and just basked in him.

Sam writhed having you so close to the source of his suffering. “Please,” he sighed below his breath.

“Please what?” You grinned, wolfish.

You turned inwards and kissed the inner seam of Sam's jeans, right on the denim path to his aching cock. Just inches from your face, angled down Sam's pantleg, was a heavy, massive tent more than the width of both your hands put together. Fuck, it'd been even longer since your last good blowjob than you’d thought it'd been. Just seeing the outline made your cunt pulse. Pressing your kiss-swollen lips to the denim above the head bolted molten hot desire straight to your core, and for Sam it was no less extreme, his hands curling into fists on his chest.

His eyes squeezed shut, and the little hoarse squeak that left him made you forget your gag reflex entirely. Sam moaned, “Please please please put me in your mouth—____, p-please.”

“I think you're a little ahead of me, Sammy…”

Your voice dripped with liquid sex. You steadied your hands on Sam's knees and bent forward again, nuzzling his cock with your nose and cheeks, glittering obsidian eyes devouring Sam's softest reactions. He was sensitive—even more sensitive than you’d been hoping for. Just the tiniest lick through scratchy fabric had his toes curling. Again, your nails scraped down his thighs. This time you leaned forward as the gesture drew back, bringing you up to Sam's happy trail. And man, happy it was–it was the centerpiece for miles of twitching, gleaming, sweaty muscle, soft-blended abs, hard-cut v-lines and all.

“Let's start by getting these tight, constricting pants off your first.” you smirked. “How does that sound? You must be uncomfortable, Sammy.”

He was, to the point that just the thought of getting them off had his hips arching toward you on the seat. Pitifully, Sam pleaded, “____. C'mon. Anything.”

“S’okay…” you whispered. You kissed the button of his jeans. “I'll get it off and you'll feel so good, darlin…”

Sam watched you from over his heaving chest, so hard that he was delirious, quavering miserably when your touch disappeared. His soft desperate gasps reminded you of the noises he made when he had dirty dreams sleeping next to you. The few times it'd happened, you just endured it until you drifted off to fatally horny sleep. But once it'd been your name he was sighing like that. It took every ounce of strength you had not to roll over and jerk him off right there. The scene was so vivid it was painful, and you could easily imagine yourself cuddling up to his back and stroking him sweet and slow half-out of his pajama pants, your cheek to his shoulder. Or even better, crawling under your shared sheets and deepthroating him awake. You wondered if Sam had ever heard the dreams you had of him. Or how many times you’d fucked yourself in the shower, imagining him reaming you into the tile like an animal. You had never dreamt of another man that way, or loved a different one so terribly that it made you reckless.

Sam watched you with wide, long-lashed eyes. Nobody else could look so innocent watching somebody get ready to suck their dick. Every time you glanced past his chest, you expected the perverted revelry you got from your other partners to reveal itself on his face. But, god. Sam. He basked in you, in your touch, arching up to meet your hands and worshipping your with his gaze. Love downpoured from every molecule of him. All his reserve had shredded away, taking any reason he had to hide right along with it. I love you I love you I love you, his body wept.

The second you got the fabric corner of his jean-opening in your teeth, Sam’s lips parted, and you remembered all the times you’d tie cherry stems in your mouth to impress him—how many popsicles you’d enjoyed all too slowly and vocally while Sam was watching. It took just one pull of your chin and his fly was off the button. One more and his zipper was in your teeth. You dragged down your head, sultry eyes never leaving his even when you got his fly open, and soaked up the look on Sam's face as he realized the kind of professional he was dealing with.

“...Wow,” Sam gaped. I've hit the jackpot, his wide eyes said.

“Up,” you instructed, and let your grin say the rest. Excitement was burning between your legs now. You tugged on his belt loops until Sam raised his hips, giving you the room to pile them around his ankles.

When you brought your eyes back up, your breath caught. Sam was hard enough to crack steel. You couldn't believe your own luck here. The boy you’d been head over heels for since before you could speak, the man you’d devoted half your life to, and he was so hot for you that he could hardly breathe.

“You don't know how long I've been fantasizing about this.” Your voice was almost too hoarse to hear over the rain, a prayer's voice. You drew yourself between Sam's thighs, and shaking from head to toe with hunger, you spread both palms over his hips and dragged your mouth up Sam's length in his boxers.

Sam had already given himself up to the pleasure. His nails seared into the upholstery, and he moaned, rocketing up, off his back, rocking into you already. The neediness of it burst another tank of heat and love and lust inside you—your Sam, above you, about to be yours, begging so pretty for you… Fuck, heaven would be boring in comparison.

“____, please, baby, please I need it,” he almost sobbed, “I'll do anything anything ____ I ju-just, I just want you. I want your mouth on me I wanna—god, please ____, how good you feel, I want it, please—”

“Anything you want, Sammy, you can have anything,” you soothed, muffled and slurred by your dragging kisses.

“M’ all yours, all yours, all this cock just for you, g-god yeah—your mouth ____ please I need your mouth—”

There was so much drool built up under your tongue that you had to swallow to speak—but you decided against it, saving it for your prize instead. You couldn't wait a second more. You were hooking your fingers in Sam's briefs before you could second-guess, before you could even think to judge if you should unravel Sam a little more—but he was there, bucking for you already, so there was no use waiting. He couldn't even lift his hips before you’d yanked his boxers out of the way. You felt him in your hand and all of it—the length of his cock, the weight of it, the fact that it was Sam, had you sinking into his lap like a priest into a sermon, flesh into the earth, and instantly you threw yourself into the task like you’d never done for any other man. This was for Sam.

You took in just a bit of him at first, enough to introduce him to the hot, velvety heat of your mouth and wet him with a single good suck. Sam's sob cut off with his breath. He was careful to treat you right, even like this. One of his hands had startled into your hair, the pleasure was so much for him. It never did anything more than jolt—he wasn't the type to just shove you on him, anyway. Your smile felt obscene with your lips slick and swollen around him; your tongue gave the lightest lap at the special spot under his tip, and Sam strangled down a filthy, whining mewl. His head was plump and comfortable on your jaw, so you gave it your first dose of attention, loosening your seal around it so you could share your drool with the rest of him. You hollowed your cheeks and brought him a little further into your mouth, shattering what remained of Sam's strength. He sunk back against the seat, exhausted, and watched you bracingly from above, sucking down breaths. Already, there was enough spit on him to make Sam's cock gleam like your lips. It clung to your chin and the tip of your nose in shining patches. Sam ran a hand through his hair and lazily studied you as you sucked him off, falling further in love with you by the second.

“That's it,” Sam cooed. He sounded broken and thready, but he insisted on curling your hair around his fingers, dizzy. “So good, ____—suck it, just like that, please, baby, j-just… ohh, fuckkk…”

Suck it, he'd said. You did as told. The command vibrated through your whole overshot body, and your throbbing, weeping cunt only felt emptier hearing the order. Sam filled up your mouth so well that your cheeks were puffy. He was the perfect size for you—a damn perfect masterpiece. His girth sat thick in your hands, veiny in ways that you wanted to feel with your pussy. Oral had always been enough before, but already you wanted Sam more than air, and more than that, wanted to blow him so good that he'd reward you for it. You tested out a few lower bobs, his cock slick and sticky between your fingers now, and every time you suckled on him Sam squeezed his eyes shut all pretty. The rain was dying out, so the liquid noise your lips made on him filled every crevice of the Impala louder than before. The pop of you slipping off his cock almost echoed.

“Tell me what you want,” you coached, your voice just as broken and hushed as Sam's. You couldn't even part from him that long, and dipped again to whorl your tongue around Sam's heavy tip. “Whatever you need, Sam,” you punctuated the reminder with a long, flat drag of your tongue from his base to the special spot under his tip, and beamed; Sam yelped. “I love it… I love,” you swallowed, “I love doing this for you.”

Sam worked his fingers into your untamed hair, and you did fucking love it. On the floor your knees were aching, but it and everything else was numb to the rolling glide of cock slotting into your mouth, of Sam reveling in your lips and tongue on him, watching you give it all just because he asked.

Sam’s knuckles caressed your cheekbone. “Wrap your lips around the head. Tight.”

You listened. He was more than comfortable on your jaw now, so your lips molded nicely to him, sealing and hollowing so he was even more snug in his new favorite place.

“Good girl,” Sam groaned, probably on instinct, but you stroked him faster for the praise, so he repeated it until his mind was muddy. “Lick the part unde—oh very, very good girl… I wish you could see yourself… I-I want…” he hissed in delight, “you look so pretty, ____… so pretty with my cock in your mouth, god…”

Holy shit. You had never really paid attention to that kind of talk before during sex, busied with the task at hand, but there was something euphoric about the way he said it to you now, your shy Sam, your Sam, his voice raspy, his pink mouth panting and open, his hands all over you, talking to you like he’d always wanted to say that. Your cunt ached.

With a deadly rumble spilling up from your chest, you slipped off his head and laved your gluttonous mouth down Sam’s soaking shaft, kissing, tonguing and sucking at whatever flesh you could find.

“Keep talking like that,” you begged into his base, breathless.

Sam listened. He cupped the sweat-slick nape of your neck, his hand easily broad enough to cover your back blade to blade, and in a messy, groping haze, dragged it up against your cheek. “Never seen you like this,” he purred, “eyes… all dark and… hot… lookin’ up at me… you’re so tiny between my legs like that.”

You couldn’t have restrained yourself if you tried. A weak whine seeped out of you. Sam’s thumb pushed into your cheek and you turned, lapping at it, then covering his hand with one of your own and searing kisses all over his palm. It was heavy and perfect for smudging your nose into. You sunk two open-mouthed kisses into Sam’s wrist where his bracelet was, then up his forearm, knowing only his body and how it could connect to your mouth. His pulse thudded furiously. Just as fast as you’d nuzzled up to him, you returned to Sam’s thick thumb, sucking it deep and right as he watched in rapture. The filthy delight written all over those mesmerized eyes had you praying to him.

“Wanna do this all the time,” Sam swallowed. He was all stream-of-consciousness now, too frenzied to filter himself. “Watch you suck me off… watch those perfect lips disappear around me, _____… y-you… oh, god, you are a natural, baby…”

His other hand, again, flushed your hair away from her forehead. All the love put into your face at once rooted you to the spot. It was miraculous, how special Sam could make you feel with just a few light touches. Bleeding with tenderness, he caressed your shoulders, your cheeks, your jaw, your hair, feasting on you as you had him.

Sam pushed the meat of his thumb into your swollen lip. “Open for me. Yeah… oh, yeah, let me watch you put it in…”

Your lips parted, mostly out of shock—when had Sam started thinking like this? A deeper part of your mind registered it all as innocent teasing, since Sam could never hurt or demean you; he was the basest definition of good to you. Regardless, you were more than willing to obey, and opened wide, tongue splayed for the heavy head of Sam’s dick. The extra kick of his pre-come had your toes curling every single time. But combined with Sam’s ruddy-cheeked, enraptured staring, just one touch to your clit would bring you over the edge. You forced your knees apart on the floor and held off. Just in case Sam intended to keep his promise.

The easiest way to put Sam’s dick into words was by comparing it to a warm, solid lollipop that took up your whole mouth, like the twisty kind from the carnival that eclipsed your whole face, chin to forehead. You’d been mourning Sam’s scrawniness after his four years away at college, but now you were nothing but grateful for the extra mass. Sam was really, really big. Bigger than anyone else you’d been with. He could’ve been any size and you would’ve been just as rabid for him, but there was something specifically hot about sucking him down as far as you could and failing to hit the bottom. It took effort to get there. You lazily pumped what you had left of his shaft, and in slow, deliberate surges of your spit-wet mouth, you earned an inch, then another.

Sam moaned so gutturally you felt it rumble under your palms. It was so Sam, in that it was like any sound you’d ever heard him make, sighing at a stupid joke, snarling during a fight, but this time it was him losing it because you were giving him a blowjob. Because you’d snuck away like idiot teenagers and you were blowing him good and filthy in Baby’s front seat.

“I-I thought about you all day,” he licked his lips, “all week, like this… it’s, you are so much better than I thought… m’ gonna make you cum so good for me.”

You wished that he could feel the way your cunt had fluttered at that. All you could do in answer was hum in approval, since you were so drunk off him, off the girth pressing against the start of your throat, that you couldn't even lift your head to speak. You did the opposite, pushing down and surging Sam's length in deeper and further than you’d gone before. The half-hour you’d poured into warming up for this was instantly worth it. You were by no means an amateur. Blowjobs, as a sexual activity, were with ease your favorite—but deepthroating was where your real talent lay. Wielding your skill, you relaxed your sore jaw and pressed forward.

The initial burn waited for you there, but Sam’s reaction was priceless.

Every muscle in his body snapped in, a taut coil broken in one motion. A strangled gasp broke from his throat. Sam's entire torso bore forward and his hips surged up to your face in a voiceless gasp, which you’d been expecting. You pinned them back down and dug for it, giving him no room to breathe, mashing your nose into his abs and hanging there, lingering, suckling, gagging, so all Sam could feel was the soft, hot, velvet pulse of your throat around his spent cock.

“I’m. I-I—”

You sucked harder, bringing a wave of spit with you, and closed a hand around Sam’s closest fist. Drool seeped over your knuckles. He spasmed. His voice tore, cutting off.

It was a little hard, but with practice—and you could practice on Sam for days, if that’s what it took—the ache would fade. All the pleasure was in the act itself, in your own slobbering sounds, the drool, and above all else the punch-to-the-teeth thrill it gave. Every inch of Sam’s pretty virgin dick was stuffing your throat. You could barely hollow your cheeks around him, Sam was so thick. His cock pulsed, once, then twice, then over and over. No other person in the world could claim him like you could, and no other person would ever have him like you had.

Sam came, and hard.

His thighs snapped closed around your ribs. He hung in place bent up over you, twitching mid-sob. Both of his hands snapped around your head, then his arms in full, scrabbling across your back, crazed, heaving, coating you entirely in the woody smell of him.

You flattened your palms to his thighs and drew upward. When it was just half his shaft in your mouth, so coated in saliva that you were connected to it in cloying strings, you persisted. The first spurt of him on your tongue detonated a ruthless orgasm deep within you on the spot. You latched onto him as it crested through you, digging your nails into Sam’s rolling hips, back and toes curled, pressing closer and swallowing the mouth-watering load you’d been dying to taste for years now. It came with its own gratified explosion of ecstasy. Your pussy sobbed, clenching without end, wracking your whole body with delicious waves of mind-whiting pleasure. The taste of him conquered you—fuck, he tasted perfect, salty and organic and human and Sam. It was a sugar rush of earthy sweetness that burned straight to your overwrought core.

You could’ve unburied yourself and let Sam finish anywhere, since he was already so mindless underneath your spell that anything would’ve pleased him. But there was something potent and intimate in being able to taste him. His body—every divine inch of it was yours, and a piece of him was filling an empty place in you.

You should’ve guessed by the size of him alone, but christ, Sam came whole glassfuls. His cum bubbled up into your mouth and spilled out of the corners of your lips, and you relished in it, drinking him down, whorling your tongue around his fleshy head, soaking up every second of your hard work’s result. The taste of him overwhelmed and surrounded you. The act did. It was in every facet a religious experience, angels singing, clouds parting, the sun glowing over them—all of it. Sam went down your throat piping hot, and you swore you could feel his cum gliding all the way to your stomach.

You slipped off him with a gasp. Hoarse, weak sighs huffed from your blazing lungs.

Slowly, as your orgasm ebbed further from your mind, your surroundings filtered back in. Peeling yourself away from him effectively rebooted all the systems in your body again. You could hear the rain bearing down on the Impala’s windshield overhead. Both of your palms were sticky and cloying with saliva. The whole lower half of your face, your abused lips, your aching jaw, your glistening cheeks, were slathered with slick. Your throat felt raw but recently balmed, like you’d swallowed a spoonful of honey to heal a soreness. Each of your knees had been stuck in place for so long that they were both numb, so the scratchy blanket beneath them seemed to ripple with pins and needles.

And Sam. Sam’s weight was braced in his hands, pressed flat to the dash, putting your face between the long bridge-arch of his shoulders. He’d collapsed around you in the footwell, shuddering and gasping for breath, and through the sea of endorphins and hormones, he managed to press his tacky forehead to yours.

You panted together; you inhaled and so did he, atoms apart, nearly mouth to mouth. Sam’s hot breath fanned across your face, cooling the saliva there.

It was something out of some old Italian sculpture, a Pietà, two nude figures entwined, expressing their love in form alone. You were collapsed on your knees, a worshipper gazing up at your saint. Sam was bent over you almost uncomfortably, every fiber of his body yearning for closeness, but close wasn’t close enough to you, his face smushed into yours and his jaw slack.

He looked nothing short of lovesick.

Hands shaking, you cupped Sam’s face. You pressed your thumbs into his warm, flushed cheekbones, then his dimples when he smiled dizzily at you, his girl.

You swallowed. “Did you like that?” You closed her eyes, hoping aloud, “...Did I… did I do a good job for you, Sammy?”

Sam surprised you. The haziness in his eyes cleared more and more with each inhale, until eventually, he was blinking down at you without guile. He burst out laughing.

“...There’s no way it was that bad,” you deadpanned. It didn’t hold for long, with him giggling over you like that. You fought against a mean, vibrant smile and its matching flush. “Alright, Sam, shut up! Quit laughing, you ass! What the hell did I—”

With the seat pushed back as far as it was, Sam had the room to get his hands under your arms again and drag you up onto his lap in one sturdy motion. Your shoulders quaked with laughter the whole time. Suddenly, his face and chest and throat were flush with yours. It was enough to drive a person crazy. Like before, Sam slotted your mouths together. The difference this time was that his cum was all over your face—but Sam could care less. You went from kissing him to gaping, since Sam dotted each filthy lick of your tongues with a heavy lap across your cheek or your chin. Tasting himself. On you. Fucking hell.

“Stop gawking n’ kiss me,” Sam insisted. He pawed at your back for emphasis, then your shoulders from below, adjusting your weight on his thighs since in your shock you’d dropped on him completely.

(And that was definitely a hard-on scooping against your inner thigh. Fucking fuck. Jesus Christ. Holy shit, Sam.)

“You were better n’ good,” he shivered. Filthily and innocently all at once, he grinned, “...I can’t believe… that was how my first time went. I can’t believe you… You, you just…”

He struggled for words. Eventually, Sam purred: “You are a natural.”

I love you, you almost blurted. You deliberately filled your lungs to calm yourself down. Your arms were around Sam’s neck and he was gazing up at you, brimming with satisfaction and gratitude and boundless, unhidden love. Dangerous territory. His taste had sunk thick and sweet on your tongue, so you both moan when you share it with him in a surging kiss.

“Anytime,” you rasped, maybe sounding a bit desperate. You were. Sam was everything you wanted in a thousand different ways, so you refused to let the moment go. In the black darkness, you laid kisses into him until your lips tingled. “I fucking—ugh. That was perfect. You were perfect. If… if you ever want me like that again—”

“I do,” was Sam’s immediate, unflinching answer. “But… I have a condition.”

He swallowed. At first, you figured he was nervous, and knowing it was his first time you doubted he wasn’t. But then Sam’s eyes flashed. Both of his enormous hands smoothed down your waist, kneading the flesh, squeezing you around the sides so his thumbs were in your belly, then his fingers were sliding flat to your hip and down. They plucked under the waistband of your underwear—the last and only layer between you.

“Every time you go down on me,” his hungry, sultry gaze devoured yours, “I get to practice on you, too.”

-

part two.

#sam winchester #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester x you #uncouthspn #supernatural #spn #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester imagine

[dekusleftsock]

How shocked and how dramatic do you think the broader scope of mha consumers will be when toga doesn’t actually die? How they’re jumping the gun into thinking that she’s dead just due to a blood transfusion?

Imma be honest I am living in a bit of an echo chamber rn, there’s not all that much I really KNOW about their reactions.

For all I know, I feel like it’ll be an average Tuesday yk, kinda like when bakugou wasn’t ACTUALLY dead and people weren’t freaking out over it.

I have this like, image in my head sometimes. Ochako, Izuku, Katsuki, and Toga are standing on a hill in silence with a sunset background. There’s nothing said, no words spoken, but it’s always what I imagine the ending to this series. Do I think or want what I imagine to happen? Not really. I want toga and ochako to get a kiss, or at the very least I want bkdk to kiss bc it IS a slowburn.

But unfortunately what I’m personally most scared of is if izu//ocha just never become a thing and… bkdk + tgck are just implied. Because it’s not what I think will create genuine change. What will create change is a confirmation of one or both of them that, yes, these two same sex characters are lovers. And there’s no argument you can make, or theory you can write, or hc that can make this be anything than what it is: True queer representation.

Do I think toga not being dead will create uproar? Maybe some. Maybe in the distant annoying fans on Twitter who complain about “the 30 year old white women who like bkdk”, but do they really matter? They’re a loud minority sure, but most of them are just fucking wannabe edgelords that like making people angry or uneasy. They like a show, a reaction. That’s it. That’s all they ever want.

But what I want though? I want shonen jump’s merch to take a spike in sales for mha, I want people across the world confused and disoriented that this random anime has been trending for weeks on Twitter, I want tumblr to break itself and your dash to be filled with nothing but the fact that mha’s joke ships fucking won. Bkdk’s are REALLY easy to make fun of. A lot of them are teenagers, a lot of them are lgbt, and there’s a lot of them in general. They’re everywhere. Just like how in my state we call New Yorkers the “roaches of the east coast”, mha fans are kind of the roaches of anime fandoms. It would affect everyone, even people who could give less of a fuck about the manga.

(I mean that in the best way possible btw, I love that we’re everywhere and I can be connected to so many different types of people just bc mha is so big. WE THE ROACHES BABYYYYY)

What I mean by all of this is that, I want mha to be a silly footnote in queer history. There’s very few shows that get the opportunity to even be decently popular, much less as popular as mha. In my mind, mha has a chance to say “fuck you” to all of the misogynistic and homophobic people in the world personally. They came into mha to get a battle shonen, and they leave with the first large shonen manga with not one, but two queer love stories.

That doesn’t happen often, or ever. Horikoshi has the ability to make a name for himself as someone who mattered, or someone who became another cog in the machine. Thats what I think will truly create a reaction.

#bkdk #togachako

[falldogbombsthemoon]

Bro wtf. I've been coughing since Tuesday. I was also dizzy from time to time since then.

Yk, I'm almost never sick (ig last year or the one before, I didn't say home a single school day)

So I just went to my parents and asked if I could stay home from school tomorrow, since I got a new teacher tomorrow too and I don't wanna be sick, when I first have him.

And my parents were like "yk, a college of mine told me, that he was only allowed to stay home from school, when he had a fever" OKAY?? sounds like shit parenting of his parents if you ask me? Also. My brother got home early from school two times this week, so like wtf. That's not a good argument, my guys.

So then I just sat with them to watch the news. And (no shit) I was coughing whilst that, and then my mom was like "look, how she has to cough, oh no" like seriously, mom? Wtf? That hurt. Like, even if I wasn't actually sick and just didn't want to go to school? As a good parent, you'd let me stay home. Sorry that your parents were strict with that, but come on, mom. I mean, yeah, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. I never wanna go. But today I'm sick and do not don't wanna go.

Sorry that I'm not dead sick. Do I need to puke out blood or something, so you let me stay home?

Like sorry for telling you, that I'm not feeling well, won't happen again.

Do I need to do the tactic, that my brother uses all the time, aka 'as soon as im a little sick, go to bed after school and talk about it like it's the worst that ever happened to me, until you let me stay home' so you believe me?

I also told my dad a bit earlier this evening that I get a headache when I move my eyes too much. And he was like "that's because of your phone" bitch. I had school until like 15.30 today and at 18.40 I went to the junior musical at our school. Between that time, I was doing homework, did arts and called a friend. Also, I had that eye hurting thing since Tuesday too. So I answered like "oh sure, it must be my phone". He uses ironic pretty often himself too, so I'm sure, he knew what I meant, but he responded with fucking "good. Time to lay away the phone for today, then"

Will they ever fucking take me serious about how I'm feeling?

#prolly not #thats why im not even gonna try to talk about mental stuff with them #although they prolly both are neurodivergent to. they are surprisingly bad educated about mental health/disabilities #sorry. just had to rant/vent idk #bro i feel like i gotta fake being sicker than i am #anyways with all that crying im definitely gonna look sick tomorrow

[yj-98]

i havent been eating well or anything for the last week or two and its nothing New per se bc ive always been really bad about it + i typically only eat a meal a day Anyways but ever since my mom got all her remaining teeth removed and shes not cooking for herself its sort of removed the one failsafe way to guarantee that ill eat Something . because i cant Get myself to make things and Absolutely nothing seems to appeal to me lately. and my safe foods arent appealing either. and i have so many allergies+sensitivities that even the food i can eat just put my body thru the fucking wringer!!!!! Like theres no winning with this stupid thing and im tired of YEARS of struggling to just EAT like i dont have an issue w/ eating mentally + im fine w/ my weight its just like. i cant eat. nothing is appealing. things that are appealing make me nauseous or physically have reactions. i cant win

and its not helping my general health + mental health and i can tell ive been really bad lately. monday + tuesday were some of the worst days in like a month. what is going oooooon. my joints are getting worse but at least im not waking up with headaches daily atm.

and i cant draw when im feeling Bad yk.......so i just have this growing anxiety about it. because i cant draw. and what if i never draw again.

and i cant just enjoy my other hobbies because ^ see above. no winning. i got to work i sleep i go to work i sleep etc.

#talk of disordered eating <- ARFID. the autism comorbidity of it all etc #rook.log

[tatakaeeren]

first off i also just wanna say the fact that you continually ask me questions on stuffs means a lot to me adfadfadfasd it soothes me to know my extrovert rambling personality doesn't cause too much annoyance to you asdfasd <333333

BUT ALSO ALSO I WATCHED THIRD EPISODE BC I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF BC PAIN AND WELL YAH PAIN *cries into pillow*

NOW SHOUJO RECS WOOP WOOP (i will give u the links of where i read them too ^^)

Sesame salt and pudding- https://bato.to/series/81088/sesame-salt-and-pudding

so basically a 20 year old and a 40 year old drunkenly marry each other. I PERSONALLY love age gap stories and the 40 year guy is just *screams into pillow bc of hotness* but also the way they handle situations and everything is amazing the female lead is strong and confident in herself and not just a wet napkin

Loving Yamada at Lv999- https://bato.to/series/98627/loving-yamada-at-lv999-official

SO GOOD. idk if you've read it or seen the anime but i LOVE KUUDERES AND YAMADA IS THAT SO ARGH i love. older female lead (i think they're like two years apart but people were upset that she was like 21 and he was like 19 so i have to say that even tho it isn't creepy or anything BUT YAH)

wotakoi: love is hard for an otaku- https://wotaku-manga.com/

SO GOOD PART TWO. this is like grown adult romance i would say since they're all coworkers and like it's definitely the "i am dating my best friend" (literally) trope which i absolutely love and it's refreshing if you need a break for like high school romance yk?

My reason to die- it's a webtoon but you don't have to pay for it whoop whoop

PAIN. it's still ongoing updates every tuesday and it's SO GOOD BUT OH MY GOD THE PAIN IT CAUSES *screams in a corn field* bc like the male lead just loves her so so much and the way the author portrays like the little acts of affection through simple touches and whatnot is FUCKING AMAZING.

Here you are- https://bato.to/series/70482/here-u-are

I SHOULD SAY IT'S BL and i know that's not everyone's fancy but i personally think that like even if you someone isn't a fan of the genre to give it a try. There's no like nsfw outright, hints to it but it's not done in like a fetish way. I've cried my eyes out to this one because the characters all just feel so real. the author did an amazing job just making the characters come alive and so even if someone is like ew bl PLEASE give it a chance.

Love for Sale- https://mangabuddy.com/love-for-sale

yes this is another BL. Let me explain. there are nsfw scenes and whatnot but like, the CHARACTERS THE CHARACTERS. another one where I've cried to. The "top" for lack of a better description is somewhat aromantic, but not like oh I'm toxic man way but like in a. that's just the way he is because he can't figure out what love even is, so he uses his money to show people love because that's the only thing that makes sense to him. I am not giving an apt description but seriously, it's amazing as well, like you really get invested in the characters and i just love it.

THATS ALL FOR NOW SORRY IF YOU'VE READ SOME OF THESE BUT HOPEFULLY NOT ALL

-lavender anonieee

Hi how are you doing today?? i'm glad you feel that way! I ask you a bunch of questions because I am genuinely interested in your answers! you have different and fun opinions + I can learn more about new anime or manga and I get to know you more 😉

Oh come here let me hug you because after the third ep, we all needed a hug, a warm blanket and mentally staying at the beach with them.. let's forget the other half of the ep happened 😭

Thank you for the recommendations and the link!!! I didn't know two of them (Sesame salt and pudding and love for sale) so I definitely added them to my list!! thank you for including the summary, they really picked my interest thanks to that! 💖

#i hope you are enjoying your weekend! #lavender anonie💜

[littlebluejayy]

can you give me depth on their relationships with the cast 👉👈

im gonan fucking sob this didnt save give me a second to bawl i wrote like 18209128pages of information and closed my computer for the night and NONE of it saved im going to sob give me a moment to mourn

a moment later i am somewhat better lets see how much of this i remember

so zhiqian was in the cloud recesses the same time as lan wangji + wei wuxian, so naturally they had time to interact ajlksdfjlks ( i remember putting something moderately humorous here but i don't remember what it was and i am going to sob ) uhhh i remember talking abt how zhiqian's first like major interaction w wuxian was that one scene where lan qiren is asking him what the best method of subduing like a corpsoe or something is and he goes "okay but what if i manipulate the other corpses and make em. have a lil brawl" and zhiqian is like "hold on now.,, he kinda has a point. " he has a suffering moral compass

sooo zhiqian joins their little tomfoolery gang <- he's silly but is like the only one who actually keeps up w studies, not cause he finds it enjoyable he just wants to feel like he has some worth LMAOO as for zhiqians personality he's definitely the kind to be like manipulatingly blunt + also teasing when he knows you better

in short : wuxian + zhiqian the silliest billies !! unfortunately after wuxian . yk. gets killed zhiqian is like omg going insane he jsut died and then proceeds to lock himself in personal cultivation for 13 years !!!! that's so coquette core of him

as for lan wangji : tbf hes a headache but no so much a headache, not wuxian level and at times he is pretty placid like when he's at the library or painting or something ( dunno if this is like in the canon anywhere i forgot but yk how the lan family has that guqin action going on and wuxian has his little flute yeah well zhiqian plays the er hu because he's just cool like that )

i imagine the two of them actually atp whenever wuxian is off doing things a tad too silly for zhiqians tastes (..erotica) he and lan wangji will kinda just sit in the library in comfortable silence and occasionally raise questions about things they see in the readings. lan wangji probably views zhiqian as a intelligently capable but also chooses to be very stupid kind of person www

they probably kept somewhat in touch , or as touch as one can be when locked in this little cave room for 13 years but wangji was the only person informed of the self cultivation thing before zhiqian actually went into it (rip nie huaisang)

as for nie huaisang... ngl id feel like he bears some resentment towards zhiqian. ofc huaisang has always been compared to his older, more capable brothers, and he also feels incompetent in the fact that despite zhiqian also occasionally joining them in their shenanigans, he still manages to keep in lan qiren's somewhat favor and is supposedly smart without trying

the resnetment def grows worse during self cultivation. nie huaisang wasn't even informed about it and kinda just woke up one tuesday morning to see his brother. gone. and since mingjue is yk. deceased he has all this sprung onto him in a very unpleasant way. :((( in a sense he knows that zhiqian is mourning because he was close with wuxian too though

mingjue and zhiqian were defintiely the silliest. mingjue is the person to loudly judge you and zhiqian is the kind of person to quietly judge you with disgusted side glances! the two got together really well and even sparred together ( when mingjue was still alive ahhaha ).. zhiqian eventually ended up taking on mingjue's saber after his qi deviation death ( IT TALKS TO HIM BECAUSE OF UNSOLVED RESENTMENT. IT LOOKS LIKE HES INSANE BECAUSE HT ALKS TO HIMSELF BUT NOOOO HES TALKING TO THE LITTLE SWORD VOICE IN HIS HEAD )

#im crying how did all of this get deleted im going to cry #the utter terror i felt when i saw the blank draft #SOBBING

[vangoghs-moved]

what do you mean............ i graduated uni............... two years ago.......

#tp #ana.txt #two years on tuesday but yk what the fUCK

[kraiyan]

i made my own little headcannons to fit in if michael and jeremy were dating and a bunch of other stuff that i don’t want to spoil so take my headcannons and please don’t pay attention to my overuse of the words ‘so’ and ‘like’

i wrote this headcannons for me in my notes so there are mentions of panic/anxiety attacks, light mentions of an eating disorder, nightmares, and self harm but i’ll just put a trigger warning for when those parts show up and if i missed anything that is triggering please let me know

- michael is trans and gay and jeremy is bisexual

- i think they would’ve been friends since kindergarten so they grew up telling each other EVERYTHING

- i feel like michael was really girly as a kid but in like 6th grade he just completely switched to like tomboy but he didn’t do on purpose it just happened

- then in seventh grade michael told jeremy he wanted to be a boy then after that with help from jeremy he came out to his moms

- michael had a crush in jeremy since 7th grade but i don’t think jeremy was his first crush

- i think since michael was straight when he was a girl he just assumed he was straight as a boy and his sexual awakening was captain sparklez

- michael has two moms and jeremys mom would’ve died in a car accident so it’s just him and his dad

- i imagine they confessed to each other in their second year of high school

- (TW: mentions of abuse) jeremy realized he liked michael in freshman year and it was really bad he could not stop thinking about him so when he got squip squip l would not stop punishing him for it

- so jeremy definitely has some problems with his bisexuality

- after years of pining for each other when they finally kissed jeremy could not stop panicking about it

- like they went to sleep fine but he was internally panicking and he tried to keep it together but the next day he absolutely broke just started sobbing saying over and over again “is this okay, are we okay”

- michael is the type to listen to a vulgar music to help his dysphoria

- so him and jeremy are in his car michael plugs in his phone and just starts singings “hoes want to be seen with me and i like their big thick titties”

- and jeremy can do nothing else but be like michael what the fuck

- they decided to keep their relationship a secret and not tell anyone bc of jeremy still coming to terms with himself and he didn’t think his dad would understand

- but i feel like michael moms had already pieced together that they were dating and jeremy didn’t mind that they knew bc they’re literally lesbians but every time jeremy came over from that point forward they had to keep their door open

-(TW: mention of an eating disorder) in a different angstier au jeremy would struggle with eating as a control thing after squip

- (TW: mention of an eating disorder) in an angstier au michael would have an eating disorder cause dysphoria

- i feel like once he realized he was trans he had really bad dysphoria but like with therapy and stuff he got over it

- so i think michael really liked afycso and had it on a vinyl and now jeremy knows all the words

- they don’t do anything at school because jeremy is still uncomfortable so they just pursuit their relationship between closed doors and michaels car in an empty parking lot

- i feel like they both got really excited when michael got referred to as sir for the first time

- jeremy and michael grew up together but ironically when puberty hit michael started to wear baggy clothes than he wore a binder than he wore super baggy clothes to hide his tits after coming out but during squip he had time to self reflect and work on his dysphoria so when jeremy saw michael outside of school he kinda said TITS and was so caught off guard by them

-(TW: mentions of self harm scars) i think michael has sh scars due to losing his childhood best friend and the whole panic attack in the bathroom thing and jeremys seen them but didn’t bring it up to michael because they’re fading so he obviously doesn’t do it anymore but it was a huge shock for jeremy to find out

- they never brought it up tho and it was never discussed bc who cares it was in the past

- michael pants his nails black and i think on some very rare occasion jeremy would paint his nails too (like the way karl paint his) and michael has lots of nail polish cuz on the rare occasion he paints his nails different colors and he repainted his nails every two weeks

- no matter how many times michael has changed in the same room as jeremy even let jeremy help take off his binder jeremy will never not get shy when he changes and will always ask to go into another room

- jeremy is a coffee person but not hot coffe because he always drinks it too early and burns his tongue

- he originally bought his hoodie™️ in really huge size to battle dysphoria but that just made the hoodie last for years

- jeremys name in michaels phone is something very gay and lovey and shit and michaels name on jeremys phone is just michael :)

- jeremy would come home all suspicious and and red faced after him and michael came from an empty parking lot that his dad would not stop begging him to meet this girlfriend of his

- i don’t think jeremy told his dad him and michael were playing a game or something and they kiss jeremys dad comes in and is like what 😦

-and his dad is shocked that he has been pushing girlfriend but he has a boyfriend and is just soooooo awkward about it and never sees michael the same but never makes any rules about them bc he doesn’t want to be homophobic 😭

- i don’t think he was really not supportive but it took him a bit to get used to it but it was so new to him and he was just so phased he just kinda talked to jeremy about his sexuality then left it at that

- they are like gendebend bubbline (marshal lee and the other one yk)

- michael has a queen vinyl the listen to a lot

- so i think michael would still smoke a bit and one time he convinced jeremy to do it with him and jeremy mainly coughed a lot then they just made out the rest of the time but they didn’t tell their parents they would be staying out after school and they both got in trouble

- michael gets blue raspberry and jeremy gets cherry but he also gets coke sometimes too (slushy flavors)

- at the beginning of their relationship they had to take it really slow so that jeremy would feel coqmfortable

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) so jeremy has nightmares of squip and he wakes up having panic attacks and it’s really tiring bc he only gets 2 hours of sleep if he has these nightmares

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) i feel like along with his nightmares he also had panic attacks that squip would punish him for pursuing a relationship with a guy let alone michael

- so after he got over his nightmares he just struggled with sleeping and nighttime in general like just fear around going to sleep

- so he often stayed up alll night to avoid sleeping and would like go to bed at 6 or on a good day 4 or 5

- so i think to get over his fear he had to make a routine first he would make some sort of hot drink or just water (mostly sleepy time tea) then he would text michael that he was going to sleep he also wears the same pajamas every time he goes to sleep just to make sure the routine really works then lastly he reads a comic book then he goes to bed

- i think the reason jeremy couldn’t sleep well after getting over the nightmares is because even if squip doesn’t haunt him enough to show up in his dreams anymore it still haunts him enough to stress him out constantly so he doesn’t sleep well

- to conclude the nightmare and sleeping saga jeremy basically has a night routine and sleeps with a night light

- i feel like they both go to therapy but we’re to scared to tell each other (and they both started going to therapy before they started dating)

- so fast forward they’re dating and are trying to plan a date and jeremys like i’m busy on monday at 1 and my dad needs me to help him with something on tuesday so how about wednesday at 3 and michaels like i have somewhere to be like at 3:30 and jeremys like where do you have to be and michaels like where do YOU have to be and so they count to three and say where they’re going to be and they both say therapy and then they’re like you go to therapy i think that would be so cute

- so michael has really thick glasses like his vision is awful so if jeremy is mad at michael he would wake up early and move his glasses over so michael would have to struggle to get out of bed and look for them with his poor ass vision

- he can see things right in front of his face but as soon as it moves a bit too far it’s blurry

- and speaking of his galsses if they’re really kissing along the way jeremy would take of his glasses so they could get closer to each other’s faces (like how elle and tao do in heartstopper )

- michael and jeremy have been friends way too long to not have practiced kissing with each other

- i think christine was a long time crush for jeremy so he definitely practiced kissing michael a lot since they were in 6th grade and michael was just soaking that shit up

- he’d be like what if she wants to make out we should practice that and jeremys like oh yeah you’re right and michael would be so freaking happy

- but they definitely got caught by jeremys dad and he laughed it off cause what else are you meant to when your 11 year old son and his 12 year old best friend are kissing each other

- they didn’t do it anymore after that cause they were soooooooooo embarrassed

- so i don’t talk about the rest of the characters but i’m about to make a headcannon including them so i’m gonna say my headcannons

- so chole is demisexual and panromantic

- brooke is a lesbian

- rich is bisexual and trans

- jake is pan

- jenna is questioning or straight

- and christine is aro/ace

- so i think jeremy and christine dated for a bit then christine broke up with him cause she was all like i can see the way you look at michael and also because she realized she was feeling intense platonic attraction not romantic

- and also i think they’re all friends so they have a group chat where they send homework answers and stuff

- so i think one time jeremy is doing his nighttime routine but this particular night he’s really tired so he texts michael goodnight bby <3 love u then skips the comic book reading and goes to bed but he sent it to their group chat so as soon as he got situated into bed all he hears is his phone going off so he has to check and it’s just everyone freaking out

- so he like fully sits up is looking at his phone in complete shock then realizes he never said a name so they are like who’s this mystery girl

- so he calls michael tells him about the situation then decides he’s ready to come out

- so the next day they’re more handsy then usual like jeremy wiped something off his face michael saw that he was cold and pulled him real close and their friends are like okayyyyy

- but mind you christine knew that jeremy liked michael so she knew exactly what was happening

- so at the end of the day their friend group is making plans to hang out but everyone was busy so jeremy goes well i’ll see you guys tomorrow waves at everyone kisses michael then starts walking to his house then michaels like yea i’m gonna head home to and like drives away and from that day forward their friends would not stop teasing them and were impressed they could keep there secret for so long

- so i feel like michaels moms both have jobs that run late so mom #1 is an er nurse and mom #2 is an account so this leaves michael a lot of time of being alone in his house so naturally you need to take advantage

- so one time mom #2 gets home and walks in just to see jeremy fully on the counter making out with her son

- i don’t think they got in trouble but his mom was like please not on the counter

- and then there was another time where mom #1 came home on her break cause she doesn’t live far from the er so she like yells to michael that she’s home

- and so naturally you come down to hug your mom so he comes down to greet his mom with a red faced jeremy behind him and his mom thought this was so fucking funny but as soon as she’s done laughing she immediately goes anytime jeremys over the doors open and that was the end of it

- everyone has this one thing that someone does that make them all blushy and stuff

- for jeremy it’s when michael wears fitting clothes cause michael is known to wear hoodies or just baggy clothes in general so when michael does get hot and needs to like put something on he puts on one of those body fitting v necks and jeremy losses his shit like he’s fully blushing and avoiding eye contact and since michael changed cause he was hot he’s sure that jeremy is so hot that his face is turning red and he’s embarrassed to say to take off his cardigan so the entire time jeremy is being full homo for his boyfriend michael is thinking he’s about to pass out from a heat stroke

- so i think jeremy enjoys this so much that for the first week of spring michael will only wear fitted clothes because jeremy loves it

- for michael it’s when he’s kissing jeremys neck and jeremy runs his hand thru his hair and pulls it a little when this happens michael loses all common sense one because jeremys enjoying himself so much that he has to kinda tug on michaels hair and two he’s enjoying it so much he doesn’t have time to think that squip is going to punish him and that makes michael just lose his mind so by the time they’ve pulled apart jeremy as sooooo many hickies and they both look at each other like what the fuck did we just do

- moving right along i feel like when jeremy wakes up at night and is terrified to go back to sleep if him and michael are sleeping together he will like hug him until he gets back to sleep and it works every time

- when they were like 7 jeremy got really sick with the flu and michael was so scared that he was going to die so he kissed him while he was sleeping because if his best friend was gonna die so was he and the next day he got really sick with the flu and jeremy would not stop crying because he thought that since michael refused to leave his side he got him sick…they’re idiots

- jeremy is the type to go to school with the worst fever ever he could throw up in the middle of the school day and still not go to the nurse and if he got sick during junior year forget it you had to strap him down to his bed if you wanted him to take a day off like michael had to sedecue him into staying in bed and taking medication so that he could feel better

#be more chill #boyf riends #bmc #bmc headcanons #bmc michael #bmc jeremy

[aimmyarrowshigh]

Dark Greetings this Spooky Season Ms. V. Can we get a list of your favorite Halloween movies and specials? I know you have seen *everything* and I am trying to go beyond my usual rewatches this holiday month.

V. AIMMYARROWSHIGH’S CRITERIA FOR HALLOWEEN EPISODES

Does the Halloween element combine convincingly with the usual universe of the show (ex: Lizzie McGuire 2x09 “Those Freaky McGuires” is not good as a Halloween episode because it changes the rules of the Lizzie McGuire universe, whereas Community 2x06 “Epidemiology” is a GREAT Halloween episode because it manages to logically introduce zombies to the regular Community universe)?

Does the Halloween element advance the plot of the episode/series (ex: the reason Boy Meets World 5x17 “And Then There Was Shawn” is literally the best Halloween episode ever made is that it uses the horror movie tropes it satirizes to provide a CRUCIAL turning-point to the plot of the show)?

Is the Halloween episode in the forefront enough that it’s clearly a holiday episode (ex: HAVING ONE JACK-O’LANTERN ON A DESK DOES NOT A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MAKE, LAW & ORDER 16x03 “GHOSTS”! You gotta go ALL-IN, like Bob’s Burgers 3x02 “Full Bars”!)?

Does the Halloween theme balance well between spooky and warm-n-fuzzy (ex: Criminal Minds 11x21 “Mr. Scratch” is too fucking bleak, but Criminal Minds 12x06 “Elliott’s Pond” has a joyous/celebratory tone to the ending despite being a genuinely scary episode)?

Is it generally a well-written, acted, and designed episode of television (ex: Saved by the Bell! 3x26 “Mystery Weekend” is seriously, not exaggerating, the worst thing I’ve ever watched in my life; Psych 1x15 “Scary Sherry, Or Bianca’s Toast” is a triumph of the medium)?

THE BEST, bar none, Halloween special ever made is Boy Meets World 5x17, “And Then There Was Shawn.” Period. There can be no argument, except MAYBE Community 3x06, “Epidemiology,” but I like “And Then There Was Shawn” better because the parody and homage as less… biting? And because I think it continues and addresses the emotional core of the regular BMW season better than “Epidemiology” does for Community s3. “Epi” DOES plant the seed (…heh) for the Season 3B major plot arc of Shirley’s pregnancy and Chang Deciding To Murder, but it gets some major minus points for mocking Yvette Nicole Brown’s weight with other characters’ responses to her costume, tbh. And “And Then There Was Shawn” is just fucking iconic. It is THE Halloween episode manual, IMO, if there were to be a textbook on how to write a perfect Halloween episode for your sitcom.

HOWEVER, I also have to give major props to Bob’s Burgers and Psych, as complete series, for their CONSISTENTLY excellent Halloween episodes. A lot of series that have multiple Halloween eps really phone it in after one or two, because they don’t have any more ideas for how to incorporate Halloween pastiches while maintaining the overall feeling of the series (tbh B99, while the Halloween Heists are excellent in general, is/has been coming very close to this line, and I think that if they HADN’T had to switch out the Heist to Cinco de Mayo in s6, they would have jumped their Heist Shark [and I think they know it, too, because it was lampshaded in the episode itself]) or they just straight-up don’t have any more ideas for what or how to have the characters they’re bound to parody or pay homage to a Halloween thing after they’ve already done one or two. And let’s be real: those one or two have probably been either The Shining or Rear Window, because those are pretty much the two that every show starts with.

Bob’s manages to make every Halloween episode feel very fresh and organic to the series, which I think they do have some leeway to do because of the nature of cartoons keeping the Belchers living a kind of loop of never aging, yk, but amazingly they’ve only done the “Tina feels too old to trick or treat, maybe? Nope, she’s not 14 yet, so there’s still time!” thing in a way that felt tropey once (in 3x02 Full Bars). They’ve been able to address Tina being 13/in 8th grade, and worrying about it being almost too late for her to keep trick or treating, in ways that were in-character and added to the overall episode in 4x02 Fort Night, 5x02 Tina and the Real Ghost, and 9x04 Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street, without me rolling my eyes at the screen and going “TINA, EVERY SINGLE SHOW WITH A TWEEN IN IT HAS ALREADY DECIDED THAT THE AGE AT WHICH YOU MUST STOP TRICK OR TREATING IS FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, COME ON NOW” which… at this point, is a Feat. Because like, I’ve POSTED over a thousand Halloween episodes, right? But I’ve watched and screencapped ::checks folder:: 3,905 Halloween episodes since 2014. Which is, um, a. lot. The ACTUAL BEST Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is 6x03, “The Hauntening,” which is just… achingly perfect television. I know I’ve posted about it before (probably a couple times tbh) but the way that it aired originally back-to-back with The Simpsons 27x04, “Halloween of Horror,” so that the evening of Sunday cartoons juxtaposed eight-year-old Louise whose family worked so hard to scare her like she wanted with nine-year-old Lisa’s family working so hard to keep her from being too scared and make sure that she felt safe… reader, I FUCKIN CRIED. Little girls being deeply loved while also Spoopy Things!!!!!! IS WHAT HALLOWEEN SPECIALS ARE!!! FUCKIN!!!!!! ABOUT!!!!!!!

Psych, though, has the benefit of not really having any, like… central tone to the series? Beyond “friendship” and “having fun with joking,” tbh? So it’s able to do what a lot of series get docked “points” for in my Foolproof Halloween Special Ratings System That Is Completely Subjective To My Tastes And Mood, which is really just run full-tilt into parody and homage without really worrying about overall tonal connection to the rest of the season or series. 1x15, “Scary Sherry, or, Bianca’s Toast,” while it DOES fall victim to the way-too-common Halloween episode trap of making mental hospitals into a Scary Thing (they are a medical normality and a necessary thing for health for many people and should not be feared), is delightful Spooky Fun AND has the benefit of having Shannon Woodward in it.* We all know by now that if an episode of any show has Shannon Woodward as the guest star, it will by default end up being one of the best, if not THE best, episodes of that series. It’s just how having Shannon Woodward as your guest star rolls. I also really like, with Psych’s Halloween episodes, that quite a few of them understand the underlying thematic scope of Horror, which is “The Monstrous Feminine Is A Thing And All Horror Tropes Are Actually About Women’s Interior Lives Because Men Can’t Write Women And Fear Women Always,” yk, in a way that is neither TOO Actual Horror, which I am too afraid of to Do, or too trite and demeaning, which is the other basic trap that Halloween stuff falls into A Lot. Like, Scary Sherry is very much about women villainizing other women, avenging other women, and being in very specifically-female pain, even though Shawn & Gus are still the lens through which we solve the mystery, and so are 4x04 The Devil Is In The Details And The Upstairs Bedroom and 6x03 This Episode Sucks. But they give their Monstrous Females dignity and breadth, which is impressive, ESPECIALLY since they’re one-off guest characters. Also, 3x15 Tuesday the 17th is just plain funny and well-done, like, just give it props for the title alone.

*(Speaking of Shannon Woodward, another amazingly good Halloween episode is Raising Hope 4x07, “Murder, She Hoped,” which is among my very favorite Rear Window homage episodes and has probably the funniest gag in ANY Rear Window ep, in Martha Plimpton floating across the screen in the Grace Kelly silk nightgown and peignoir and announcing that it was on sale at Walmart, can you believe?! and honestly, yes. Perfection.)

Also excellent:

• The Addams Family (1991) + Addams Family Values (1993) • Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WERE GAY FOR SIBELLA AS A CHILD!) • Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE GAY BECAUSE THE HEX GIRLS!) • Halloweentown + Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge • Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire! • Z•O•M•B•I•E•S (to a lesser extent, Z•O•M•B•I•E•S 2) • Clue (1985) • Coraline • Corpse Bride • 6teen 2x00 Dude of the Dead • Arthur 21x00 Arthur and the Haunted Treehouse • Lamb-Chop in the Haunted Studio • Arthur 8x04A Fern-kenstein's Monster • Arthur 10x02 The Squirrels • WandaVision 1x06 The All-New Halloween Spooktacular (I KNOW YOU, SPECIFICALLY, DEAR @plavoptice, HATE MCU!WANDA AND I DON'T BLAME YOU, YOUR REASONS ARE VERY VALID! But this is a good Halloween special so I'm putting it on my list In General.) • Boy Meets World 2x06 Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf? • Ghostbusters (2016) • Gravity Falls 1x12 Summerween • Leverage 4x02 Ten L'il Grifters Job • The Loud House 2x40 Tricked! • Mockingbird Lane 1x00 Unaired Pilot • It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! (Classic, etc.)

I'm SURE I'm forgetting some that I'll rewatch this year myself. I'm a big Halloween Baking Championship fan, tbh, which is on Discovery+ now so I recommend that if you like mostly-relaxing nice people baking cakes that look like bats and such.

I'm also IMMENSELY INTENSELY EXCITED for The Muppets' Haunted Mansion on Disney+ next week!!!

#halloween #**halloween

[confused-android]

Day 13, Todd - Family

----------------

Amanda: hey, what time are you showing up at mom and dad's on tuesday? (7:02PM)

Todd: For what? Why would I go to their house? (7:05PM)

Amanda: …for hannukah? they sent out the invite three weeks ago, asshole. check your fucking email (7:10PM)

Todd switches apps on his phone and opens his Gmail account. The only things in his inbox are bills and spam. He looks in his spam folder, and even checks his agency account, just in case they had, for some reason, found that email address and sent him an email there.

Nothing.

He searches both accounts for his mom's email address, and finds only the last email she'd sent him, before all of this shit went down. Before he'd told Amanda the truth, and she'd told their parents. Before he was on the FBI's Most Wanted list for almost three months. Before they opened the agency.

From: Debora Brotzman <[email protected]> Date: 4/8/16 2:14 PM To: Todd Brotzman <[email protected]> Subject: Visiting Mandy?

Hey sweetie, it's MOM. Mandy said she's feeling better this week – are you going to visit her? Call me when you get there, if you can!  :-) Dad found a place to give him an interview, even with his knee, so send him some love and prayers! :-) I miss you, you're doing great.

Love, MOM <3 (Mandy says this is a heart, but in case you can't tell, imagine I put a heart there!)

He hadn't called her on that visit – all of his attention was taken up by Dirk, and it felt weirdly vulnerable to call his mother in front of some weird stranger. After that visit to Amanda, he'd been a little too busy to call her during the Patrick Spring case, and then he was afraid calling her would be trackable, and would bring the FBI down on his and Farah's heads. And since getting back to Seattle… Well, he's tried calling his parents a few times, and sent them an email over the high holidays, but they haven't responded.

He knows why, but it's just been easier to pretend that they were busy, to let Amanda send him occasional messages when she visited home, to imagine that they just… hadn't gotten around to responding to his lengthy apology email.

That strategy doesn't seem to be possible, here.

Todd: No email. (7:43PM)

Amanda: you sure? (7:44PM)

Todd: Yeah. (7:46PM)

Amanda doesn't respond and Todd slumps back into the couch, rubbing a hand over his face. This was… this was utterly predictable. He knew this was coming as far back as Amanda's first Pararibulitis attack, and this is what he knew would happen if they ever found out, and he can't pretend that they're just busy any more. He hasn't been invited home for the family Hanukkah celebration. He's not family any more.

This is the natural consequences of his actions, and he isn't even sure if he deserves to feel miserable.

Fuck.

Why does this suck so much? It's not like he was close with them, anyway. Not for a lack of effort on his parents' behalf, of course. That last email from his mom is typical. Just that it's hard to want to spend time with people you hurt, you're hurting, even if they don't know it. He kept hanging with Amanda because she needed him, and he needed to keep trying to make up for how shitty he was, but there was no way that he could ever save up enough to pay his parents back for years of – of stealing from and lying to them. So spending time with them, talking to them beyond occasional five minute phone call and a yearly awkward hanukkah gathering, never really happened.

Does this even matter? Should it matter?

Of course it matters. It's a punishment from his parents, for being awful to them. He's supposed to feel like shit.

Well, that's successful, then.

Dirk and Farah are out at some kind of trivia night thing, and Todd is honestly kind of relieved. He's not sure if he can handle them right now. Not in a bad way. Just that, Farah wants to be comforting but isn't ever really sure how, and Dirk is sure that he knows how to be comforting but rarely succeeds, and Todd always has to pretend that he feels very comforted by whichever of them has drawn the short straw to hang out with him when he's miserable, and he doesn't really feel like pretending right now.

His phone dings.

Amanda: i texted mom. (8:12PM)

Todd: …? (8:14PM)

Amanda: she said it wasn't an accident (8:20PM)

Todd: I figured *shrug emoji* (8:22PM)

Amanda: i feel kind of weird about this, tbh? (8:24PM)

Amanda: like, i'm still pissed at you, but you know that, and we're working on it (8:24PM)

Amanda: and i told mom that and she said that you emailed her for yk and apologized and that she didn't respond (8:24PM)

Amanda: and that sounds shitty of her? (8:25PM)

Amanda: but also you were shitty (8:26PM)

Amanda: like, really shitty (8:26PM)

Todd: I know that. I was shitty. And she doesn't have to respond to me. (8:27PM)

Amanda: it just feels weird bc she's our mom (8:31PM)

Todd: Yeah. (8:32PM)

Todd: I'm… having some feelings about it. (8:32PM)

Amanda: well i guess i'm proud of you for having feelings? idk (8:33PM)

Amanda: do you want me to not go? (8:37PM)

Todd: No! (8:37PM)

Todd: No, no. Go spend Hanukkah with mom and dad. I'm bummed, but I'll be fine.  (8:37PM)

Todd: I'll try emailing them again next Yom Kippur, I guess. That always seemed to mean something to dad. (8:39PM)

Amanda: that could work (8:40PM)

Amanda: idk (8:40PM)

Todd: I don't know either, if it helps. This sucks, but I knew it was coming, I guess. (8:42PM)

Amanda: :/  (8:45PM)

Todd: :/ (8:46PM)

Todd drops his phone on the coffee table and stands up, shoves his hands through his hair, and sits right back down. Then he stands up again, because while he has no idea what to do with himself, he at least wants to not know what to do somewhere other than the couch. He looks in the fridge without taking anything out of it, contemplates and rejects the idea of a shower, and then grabs the pipe and lighter from his dresser and climbs out the kitchen window and on to the fire escape. He leans up against the side of the building and shivers as a gust of December air hits his neck and seeps in through the fabric of his hoodie.

"Fuck," he says, voice lost in the night, and cups the bowl in one hand and lights it with the other. He takes a long inhale. The smoke floods his lungs and he tops it off with clean, cold air, then holds the breath for a beat before exhaling. He lets the smoke drift away and sits with the scent lingering in his nose before taking a second hit, and then a third. He taps the ash out through the grate next to him, shoves the pipe and lighter back into his hoodie pocket, and thumps his head back against the brick.

It's hard to not feel like a complete piece of shit when your parents have disowned you. Like, the people who are supposed to love and care for you no matter what just don't want to see you for the holidays? That's pretty bad.

He knows that it's not like he doesn't deserve it – he did a horrible thing. Like, a really horrible thing. The kind of thing that gets you disowned by your parents. But it… it really sucks. This whole situation sucks. And it's a situation he made, which means that he sucks.

It's cold outside. Not quite freezing, but not that far above it, either, and his hoodie isn't quite cutting it. He doesn't go inside, though. If he goes inside, he'll check his phone and reread the conversation with Amanda, and have to start thinking about it all over again. So he just stays on the fire escape, buries his chin in the collar of his hoodie, and tries to think about anything other than his parents choosing to ignore him, and not see him for the holidays.

"Fuck," he says again. And that seems to sum it up.

Todd loses track of how long he spends on the fire escape, but it's long enough that he's not really cold any more, just trembling slightly, when the door to the apartment bangs closed.

"Shit," Dirk swears, his voice drifting through the window. "It's bloody freezing in here."

"The window's open," Farah adds, baffled, and then says, "Todd?"

"Todd!" Dirk echoes, his voice a little louder than hers.

"I'm out –" Todd coughs, then tries again. "I'm out here! Sorry!"

He can hear some bustling and movement from inside, and then a long leg sticks through the open window and taps around, looking for the floor, and is then quickly followed by a body. Dirk steps out of the way for Farah, who is altogether more graceful when exiting the building, and they both look down at him, separate expression of confusion on their faces.

"Why are you out here?" Dirk asks bluntly.

Farah shakes her head and puts on hand on Dirk's shoulder, asks, "how long have you been out here?"

Todd shrugs. "Maybe since nine? I'm not sure. What time is it?"

"It's almost ten," Farah says, and crouches down in front of him. "What the hell, Todd?"

"I'm sorry," he says, too tired to really get riled up, or even defensive. "I didn't know what time it was. I left my phone inside."

"Will you, um. Come inside now?" Farah tries, and looks up at Dirk for back-up. Dirk has a funny expression on his face, though, and steps around both of them. He sinks to the floor next to Todd and wiggles up close, until they're pressed together at the shoulder and hip. "Dirk!" Farah exclaims.

"Come on," Dirk says, and gestures to the floor on the other side of Todd. She opens her mouth like she's going to object again, but then something on Todd's face, or on Dirk's face, seems to speak to her, and she scoots back a bit and tips off her heels and down to sitting. Farah holds still for a long moment, steeling herself with a deep breath, then presses against Todd's other side. The brick at his back and the metal grate under his ass are still cold, but his two best friends are warm on either side of him. For a moment, at least, he feels like he has family.

------------------

Link to: day one, Farah - Youth day two, Farah - Dance day three, Farah - Gore day four, Farah - GNC fashion day five, Farah - AU day six, Farah - Family (to be written) day seven, Farah - Pride (to be written) day eight, Todd - Youth (to be written) day nine, Todd - Dance (to be written) day ten, Todd - Gore day eleven, Todd - GNC Fashion day twelve, Todd - AU

prompt list

#dghda #dirk gently #DGHDAtober #todd brotzman #family #marijuana use #sad Todd #h/c? i guess? #sorry todd #but you definitely did this to yourself #fanfiction #my fic

[arsonist-chicken]

Lockdown Tag game; I got tagged by @we-are-not-amoosed thank you! I keep forgetting you know I exist, also I hope you had fun being drunk at midnight on a Tuesday hjhjhj.

First of all, a big FUCK YOU to tumblr, because I was at the LAST QUESTION and opened ONE NEW TAB to look up the word windmill, and when I went back to tumblr, my post was GONE, so here we go again. If an answer seems short of half-answered, it’s because I didn’t feel like typing everything again.

Are you staying home from work or school?

HA. Yes. Love that for me. Not at all. My university opened for 1 1/2 weeks in March 2020, then for another 4 weeks in November, and it has been closed ever since. I’m in my dormitory in the town I study in, not home home at my parents’ place though, because that would Not end well. The internet connection sucks though, that’s really annoying with distance learning. When I go into The City for A Thing, I usually cycle past my department and it makes we Yearn to go back in there, which is a thing I didn’t think would ever happen, but one pandemic later and suddenly everyone would kill for the change to go back to work/school in person, wouldn’t we?

If you’re staying home who is there with you?

I live in a dormitory, so technically, there’s a lot of other people there, but I don’t really talk to any of them except for when we meet in the hallways or the kitchen or wherever, so really it’s just me, the stuffed animal my friend got me last year because I kept whining that I didn’t have a cat like her at her boyfriend’s place where she basically lives now, and the birds who come to eat from the bird house I put on my balcony.

If it makes you feel any better @we-are-not-amoosed, not that I think it will but hey, who knows, my twin sister is moving out in December, so I will be the only child at home with my parents during summer/Christmas/Easter break, which will be Not Fun. I’ll take another 1 ½ years for my degree, and another 2 if I do a master’s, so that’s about... 1-3/4 years I’ll be alone with my parents while my perfect sister gets to move out and move on and live Adult Life fully respected as an Adult working with renewable energy, as opposed to the Disappointment who takes 5 years for a 3 year degree in a field that’s hard to find employment in and never Does Stuff like my mother wants me to Do Stuff.

Are you a homebody?

I’m with @we-are-not-amoosed there, I didn’t know what that meant, but Pons says “Stubenhocker”. A bit I guess? I’m definitely fine being home by myself if I’m unbothered there (read: not at my parents’ when they are home) and I do need time by myself to recharge. But probably like everyone else, I crave and enjoy social contact a ton more than Before. I meet a friend fairly often (aka the only friend still here instead of home for distance learning), and today we worked together (handing out flyers which idk why the company pays us to hand them out, like 95% of them get thrown away immediately, but hey, we’re getting paid 🤷) and then went to sit by the river, and there were SO MANY people there, it was not *entirely* corona-compliant (but outside with town-typical wind, so it’s fine I think, with my non-existent knowledge about spreading of viruses and such), but honestly? I just couldn’t be bothered to care in that moment: it was warm and sunny, I was there with a very close friend, people were laughing and dancing to good music, it was just so GOOD to be there, almost as if Corona didn’t exist. The police even drove by like they always do to check for people smoking weed and didn’t say anything like usual, so hey. It was just so good, okay? So, homebody? Within reason, I guess, but less than Before, probably.

An event you were looking forward to that eventually got cancelled?

Oh boy, SO MANY. The one I’m most bitter about was a very prestigious international interpreting event, that would have involved me interpreting in the actual European Parliament building in Strasbourg. But there was also a festival week with my best friend I was looking forward to, maybe even a second festival with another friend, my company’s ten year anniversary party, etc. And Prides! I came out to my family in 2019, and was like “Yay, I can finally go to Prides now!” but well 🤷

DUDE SO MANY ARE YOU KIDDING ME

CONCERTS: 5SOS (I SHOULD HAVE heard “Old Me” in a crowd full of other people getting nostalgic for their past selves, but NO), Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Rock im Park aka GREEN DAY AND RISE AGAINST (I have been trying to see Rise Against for YEARS and ALWAYS something gets in the way!), one or two small local artists.

ERASMUS: I should have gone to Russia for a semester to improve my not-too-great speaking skills but Corona said FUCK YOU you will study ALONE and LONELY in your ROOM like a child on TIMEOUT

PRIDE: none in particular, just generally it would have been nice to go, maybe even with a friend to the one in Vienna

Also just general stuff like birthdays and get-togethers with friends, and my club’s annual get-together was cancelled too, and it would have been my friend, sister and my’s 10-year-anniversary, so that sucked to get cancelled.

What movies have you watched recently?

Movies? Pfuh, I don’t know, I’m not really into movies anymore, tbh. TV-series and games are more my jam.

Descendants 1 +2, I finally watched those after I read so much fanfiction that I knew the plot without having watched a single scene that isn’t a music video that youtube kept showing me. They’re nice enough, if you overlook the fact that they make a 16-year-old king while there’s still perfectly capable adults but whatever, there’s a lot of cute moments (Carlos and Jane omg) and a lot of funny ones (UMA. Is HILARIOUS), the music kind of slaps ngl, and arguably Mal + Evie are queer and in love. I still want to watch the third soon, and rewatch The Hunger Games since it showed up on my dash recently.

What shows are you watching?

Rewatching Julie and the Phantoms forever until the end of time (or until season 2 comes out @netflix, and I started Brooklyn 99 again for background noise/low-energy background watching. A friend recommended Ginny & Georgia and it’s okay enough, but it’s written in a way that makes you want to keep watching because there’s just such whack stuff happening that you want it explained; it’s 1h episodes though, that’s a bit hard on my attention span. I want to rewatch FMA:B some time, too.

What are you reading?

@we-are-not-amoosed said “tumblr posts and the texts I translate at work” and if that isn’t a Mood. I’d love to read more, but my attention span is shit and my reading comprehension even worse. I *am* reading “Explain to me like I’m 5” atm which explains stuff easily, like, well, you’re 5 years old, so you’d think a 23-year-old could understand, no? No. I read it, I vaguely understand some stuff, I close the book, and it’s G-O-N-E, not a single thing left. Literally the only thing I remember – and this is why I had to re-write ^^^all that because I needed to look up the English word for Windräder, if that’s even what they’re called in German but whatever I’m tired – is that insects and birds die a LOT in windmills when they get too close and get sucked in and can’t escape anymore, which is one of the reasons windmills aren’t as environmentally friendly as we thought when we built them. Anyhow, I’d love to read more, but idk, there are a lot of posts on here, some I’ve reblogged, that are like.. something something reading fanfiction is easier because you already know the characters and universe something something less mental energy something something idk. Yeah I mostly read fanfiction these days. I hope I’ll get back to reading books sometime soon-ish, I have a long list.

What are you doing for self-care?

Hm. I meet my friend I mentioned above pretty regularly, and I have a notebook that I write stuff in that was nice or made me happy when that happened (like today: working with my friend and then sitting among people by the river in the sun with said friend). I’m getting a tattoo next week (3 cat paws + 1 dog paw = technically my two cats and my late cat and dog, but well, two of them are dead, so I asked two friends for a paw print of their cat and dog, so I’ll always have those two with me, too). I try to make a to-do-list each day, but I rarely stick to it. I apply eyeshadow and body glitter if I want to, I dye my hair bright colors (think pink, purple, blue, red, maybe orange next). I always have chocolate in my room meaning I stopped depriving myself of food I like/food in general because it’s “healthier”/”I need to lose weight” etc. all that you know all those great reasons. I went to a doctor about my knee and it ended up being useless but I went, so.

I also went to see a therapist but she is very useless, like “ended our first session telling me well she doesn’t know how to help me/if she can help me at all/if therapy would even help me” kind of useless; I’ll go again next week and see if that changes or if next week will be the last week and I’ll go back to Dealing Like Before, which is not great but whatever. I’ve lived until 23 without therapy, surely I can keep doing it. Therapy’s expensive if it’s not covered (which this doctor IS which is why I went to her but it’s still a waste of time) and if it’s not gonna work/not gonna help me apparently or if there’s nothing actually wrong OR that therapist is just like, bad at her job, what’s the point of going yk?

Uggggh, I hope the swimming pools and Zumba class will be open again soon, Zumba (also with said friend) is AMAZING, easy fun exercise you don’t need any knowledge or skill for and you can hang out with your friend by the street after for an hour and say goodbye five times and then remember one more thing you wanted to actually still mention and stand there for another 20 minutes hjhjhj. Best times, truly.

Idk this is probably not self-care but I got a small job working with Austrian German and it gnetflix the chance to save up a bit and add it to my resume and also hopefully get my mother to shut up about my non-existent job prospects for a bit, so that’s kind of helping in making me feel a bit more like I’m Being An Adult (also because it means I have to learn how to change my insurance and finance department stuff now, yey).

Tagging: @languages-and-else @psychicbouquetblaze-stuff @the-real-daddy-van-der-bellen @sunsetcurveofficial if you feel like doing it, also sorry @we-are-not-amoosed it became such a rambled long answe on almost everything hjhjhj

#tag games #me talks #covid-19 #swearing #It’s a post about corona there Must be swearing

[ifconfusionwasaperson]

Lily fell first

Sometimes i like to think Lily liked James first.

Ao3 link yk bc i have to

Cw; a bit of swearing

First or second year;

She should of hated him, she knew that. They were compete opposites

She was a the nerdy redheaded girl with only 1 friend, she was a traitor to her house because her only friend was a slytherin, she was a muggle born and didn't know anything about The wizard world, and her family was working class.

While he was popolar and cool and rich, he wore the house colors on his cheeks while she often times wished she was in slytherin, everyone seemed to like him, of course they did cause he was so very sweet, and he was a pureblood and apperently everyone in the wizarding world knew his family, and he loved quidditch, she could barely get a broom off The ground.

Severus hated him, James hated Sev. She should hate James Potter just based on that fact alone, but he was never mean to anyone else. And when he flashed his Smile or when he sent a wink her way and she felt butterflies erupt in her stomach. Stupid James Potter with his perfect teeth

In third year it stopped being her stupid little crush. Now it was just embarrasing.

The first time he *tried* to flirt with her, her stomach did backflips and she could feel her cheeks glow red. But then soon it stopped being fun as he continued. The stupid flirting was now everything from compliments to pickup lines to asking for a date to hogsmeade. She'd never felt so embarassed esecially when his stupid friends stood behind him trying not to laugh, or when Severus was beside her and she could feel his anger bubblig up. Her stupid crush was suppost to be her little secret but now. He most of known.

"Lily, do you want to go to hogsmeade with me tomorrow?" James Potter stood before her. This time his friends was not to be seen, and The rest of her classmates was slipping away until it was just the two of them in the hallway. They'd just come from a charms lesson.

"Potter it's not funny anymore okay, you can stop i get it, you know about that but stop"

"Lily what do you men 'about that?'"

"Oh very funny Potter really, don't think i'm gonna say it for your entretainment let's just move on, it's not funny"

"Lily i geniuently don't know what you're talking about, i'm not asking you to hogsmeade as a joke im geniuently asking you"

Yeah sure, she thought. As if Someone like James Potter would like someone like her

"Shove off Potter"

Lily Evans did not hate James Potter. She just hated that he kept tormenting her about her old Crush.

In fourth year he stops asking her out and she feels Great. No more of his joking around no more, no more embarassment. No more feeling guilty whenever she catches herself staring at the boy for a second too long. Finally her crush can be left alone.

That's until fifth year starts. And it starts all over again, The flirting the asking for dates. But she's older now, she doesn't feel the need to be nice to him like she did when she was 13. She's 15 now, and she tells him to fuck off, and she tells him to his face she'd rather marry the squid in the lake. She even starts dating someone else. Yeah fuck you James Potter for being an asshole fuck you for breaking my young heart.

But then sixth year rolls around and so much is happening at once, Suddenly she's friends with not only James but all of the marauders. Slowly she starts to think that maybe James hadn't been taunting her those years. He's so nice and perfect and how would those eyes ever be able to be mean. She's 17 and she asks him about their earlier years.

"James?" It's only the two of them in the common room

"Yeah?" He sitting on the ground in front of the sofa she's sitting on, leaning his back against it.

"Why did start asking me out in third year?" He turned his head to look at her. This was a dangerous subject. To close to all secrets

"What do you mean? Why do you think i started asking you out?" James asks looking at her so sincerly she feels like she might break under his stare

"It came so sudden i thought you had found out about- well i don't know" Her cheeks was red, she didn't dare looking down at James but she knew he was staring at her.

"You though i knew what? -" When he doesn't get a respond and her eyes won't even look down at him he sighs before he continues

"I'm not sure Lily i just, i guess i just looked at you and realised you- well you were so goddamn cool, and you didn't care what anyone said about you and you were beautiful nontheless. So you know thirteen year old James thought he'd have a chance," He was smiling now looking far away", And well me having Sirius Black as a friend didn't help you anything after you rejected me. He said i just had to keep trying because, and I qoute ,,You're the sexiest mf i've ever laid my eyes on Jamie boy and if she can say no to you then she's the problem,, he gave me a weird hug afterwards. Then you said no again and well they all decided my crush on you was their favourite thing to bully me on" He had a nostalic smile on his lips again. She wanted to kiss it.

"I ehm, i thought you were making fun of me"

"Making fun of you? Why" His eyebrows were scrunched together

"Well i had been having this huge crush on you since first year," Lily was pretty sure she heard James breathing in sharply, she could of been wrong though based on all blood running through her ears. ", and then you just out of nowhere started giving me compliments and a random tuesday morning you asked me out, and I had to say no because Snape was right beside me. But then you never stopped and I just assumed you knew and were making fun of me" She looked down embarassed. She already regretted her choices.

"You liked me?" He looked baffelled

"Well yeah" They looked at each other before James started laughing. 

"I can't believe you thought i was making fun of you" He threw his head back into the sofa. She started laughing too

"Well yeah you were this cool looking boy with your friends Who all laughed everytime you asked me out and I was just nerdy little me" 

"They laughed at me because i kept getting rejected" He quite down 

"We're idiots" She said before they burst out laughing again

God if his laugh wasn't the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard

"Yeah we are" His eyes had a glint of mischief in them and she couldn't help but wonder why

"When did you stop liking me James?" Suddenly his features got overtaken with panic 

"well i ehm... Lils" His voice was quiet and unceartain. 

"James?" He looked down embarrased. 

Her heart was Hammering inside her chest. This was dangerous. 

"James" For probably the first time ever his head didn't turn around at the sound of her voice. She lerned forward so her head was on the same level as his hos. She let her hand rest on his jaw 

"James" This time his head turned. His eyes was soft, his cheeks was flustered and his lips slightly parted. She learned forward to greet his lips. He took in another sharo breath. Their lips met and the world exploded into fireworks. Oh how her eleven year old self, who had been staring at James for a whole 30 seconds before answering his greeting when he walked into her train compartment, would be jealous of her now. Just you wait eleven year old Lily, in six years you'll get to kiss him. And it will be nothing like you Imagined. Becasue kissing James Potter is everything she'd ever dream of but it's also like nothing she's Imagined. His lips are soft like she Imagined, he's *trying* to cup he jaw. He's still sitting on the ground so he has to turn his arms around to reaach her. Kissing James Potter is also not at all like in her imagination. In her imagination his kisses are nothing of the ordinary. He kisses just like her exes, she knows nothing else. But kissing James Potter is everything but ordinary. 

"Lily-Lils-Evans" He pulled away from her and she's quickly taken by panic 

"Oh my god i'm sorry James I didn't think-i thought you-" she was rambling

"What? OH No. No no Lily i just, well i was sitting on the ground and I don't know you felt so far away i kinda just wanted to sat myself on the couch you know if we're gonna kiss... Did i make it akward now?" He gave an akward Smile and ran a hand through his hair. Typical James behaviour. He'd managed to sat himself on the sofa. 

"Idiot" The Word was spoken softly without any harsh meaning behind it. 

She smiled before jumping onto him making him fall back against the couch.They were both laughing and kissing at the same time. His arms going around her waist and hers going for his hair. 

"How did it takes us this long Evans?" James was smiling like The love sick idiot he was.

"Shut up we're here now aren't we?"

"Guess we are. Hold on does this mean? Lily Evan do you wanna go out with me?"

"Yeah i do"

It's seventh year. She's 17 now, has been for a while, seventeen means she's an adult in The wizard world. Eighteen is next which means she's an adult in The muggle world. . Her last year on hogwarts. Suddenly the world seems all too big and she feels all to small, but James is with her and if liking the same guy for six years without dating him was a bit pathetic, then she was a bit pathetic. But they were dating now so it was okay. She knew they would be okay. 

[februaryberries]

learning when it’s okay to take the L

ok hello

(fair warning it is almost 2 am and i am walking the line between tipsy and drunk rn so i’m sorry if this isn’t coherent i just wanna post abt it b4 i forget maybe i’ll do better tomorrow)

i think it’s really important to learn that it’s okay to take the L on one thing and prioritize others

for spring term 2020 we had the option to change all of our classes to pass/fail grading bc yk covid and that has been extended to this term too

if you are on academic warning/probation (like me ✌️😗) you have to get above a certain GPA to stay in ok standing, however at least at my school if you have all of your classes set to pass fail you only have to pass ONE class to remain in okay standing.

this term has been a learning experience for me bc i’m actually taking meds for my adhd and depression and i have the chance to learn how to do okay in school for the first time ever! but also i’ve never actually developed good school habits so i’m starting from scratch this term.

i’m fairly behind in all my classes but it’s still possible to catch up in them, excluding my philosophy class. it’s asynchronous which to my ADHD brain means it doesn’t fucking exist so i have done absolutely 0 work for it and i’m supposed to have read republic by plato and i have two short essay abt it due on tuesday (it’s friday night) and i work the rest of this weekend.

this plus the fact that i’m behind in my other classes means i’ve been the most stressed i’ve been in several months, and then not getting ANYTHING done because i’m so stressed and then stressing more.

i have come to the decision to make all my classes pass/no pass this term and take the L on my philosophy class. this way i can focus on the classes i know i can do something about without the looming deadlines of that class overwhelming and distracting me.

if i tried to keep going with this class on top of everything else i would quite simply lose my mind and end up failing all of them. i know this because of allllllll my experience with being behind last year n such.

it’s okay to cut your losses and prioratize where u need to and i actually feel really good abt deciding to focus on my other two classes. i feel guilty but i know it will give me a better chance to succeed. anyway those r just some thots™️ i’m gonna go to sleep bc it’s 2am and i work at 9:30am tomorrow goodnight gamers just remember u are valid no matter what twists and turns ur academic career takes n ily 💖

#mine #college #studyblr #studyspo #like it’s ok to give up on something’s that’s not necessarily worth pursuing yk? #anyways ye i’m tipsy goodnight

[ichibanjeon]

YK Drabble #4 - Camping Trip

people that take me seriously: don't

idk what this is

it's a crack fic

word count: 1,197 words | AO3

“only fools believe in true love,” yoongi says, “i, for one, don’t.”

“hyung, i just asked if you wanted to go camping with us.”

in which yoongi thinks he’s seen it all, until a nineteen-year-old boy is chased in the woods.

yoongi wakes up when a drop of something that’s definitely not water falls on his nose, and then another one, and another one, until he sits up, rubs the sleep from his eyes and locates the threat. kim namjoon stands two feet away, with a carton of milk in his hand.

“hyung, you ran out of milk,” he says.

“what exactly are you doing here?”

namjoon shakes his head, smiles a little, sits on the coffee table. he’s used to the empty cartons, to the coffee table, to yoongi’s grumpy self.

“you said i could come over when i called you at 9 this morning,” he smiles. he knows yoongi won’t remember, he was half-asleep.

the other nods, because what else can he do? he is also used to the smiles, to the head shakes, to the early morning calls. “so, what’s so important that made you come over?”

“the boys and i have been thinking… we all have a few days off, why don’t we do something different?” namjoon explains. “we’re going camping next week. three days.”

“well, that’s great,” yoongi starts, “camping’s great, it’ll be good for the three of yo-“

“actually, i’m here to ask if you want to come,” the other says. there’s silence for a few seconds until yoongi shakes his head.

“i’d rather stay home. camping’s not for me,” yoongi says.

“come on, hyung,” namjoon tries, “going out is good for you! who knows what you might find…”

“on a camping trip? probably bears, other people – annoying people –, mosquitoes-“

“…make new friends, take nice pictures, find true love…” namjoon interrupts.

"only fools believe in true love,” yoongi says, “i, for one, don’t.”

“hyung, i just asked if you wanted to go camping with us.”

“that’s a firm no from me, then.”

namjoon sights, because what else can he do?

[ - ]

two days later, yoongi calls namjoon.

“what time are you leaving on tuesday?”

“didn't you like, refuse my invitation?”

“seokjin-hyung came over,” yoongi starts, “and said he would send me pictures every day if i stayed home.”

“he does have a way with words,“namjoon chuckles, "we should have the campground to ourselves, the guy i talked to said we were the only ones next week.”

“good, that’s good.”

“we leave at 11 on tuesday," namjoon says, "but we're meeting at hoseok's first.”

“cool. i’ll be there.”

“it’ll be great! see you tomorrow.”

[ - ]

on tuesday, it takes two hours in seokjin’s car to get to the campground. yoongi ends up falling asleep so it takes a while until he stretches and gets out of the car, only to be hit by the tent that hoseok’s taking out of the trunk.

“oops, sorry about that, hyung,” hoseok says, shooting him an apologetic smile.

they all carry what they can get their hands on, until the trunk’s empty. setting up a tent would have been easier if namjoon hadn’t insisted on doing it himself, claiming he’s set up way too many pieces of ikea furniture to get it wrong. he gets it wrong.

yoongi is in charge of setting up the second tent, the one he’s going to share with seokjin. when he goes back to check on namjoon’s progress, a man wearing sunglasses – despite the grey clouds threatening to ruin their trip – approaches the group.

“excuse me, do any of you have sunscreen? i’m sunbathing and i forgot mine,” he says.

“i’m pretty sure it’s about to rain,” hoseok points out.

“it’s important, i’m shooting a movie,” the man with the sunglasses says, and holds out his hand, “kim taehyung, actor.”

“if you’re kim taehyung, then i’m kanye west,” namjoon chuckles.

the man takes off his sunglasses and their jaws drop, because he's actually the kim taehyung.

“i don’t know this asshole, i’m your biggest fan,” says seokjin, already looking for a pen and paper.

“look, don’t worry. but does anyone have sunscreen?”

yoongi finds his and hands it to him, who thanks him like yoongi just saved his career. which he might have.

taehyung signs seokjin’s paper, hoseok’s shirt, yoongi’s sunscreen bottle and namjoon’s hand (“i’m never washing it again,” namjoon says) and disappears.

“so we’re all set, goodnight,” yoongi speaks up, walking towards the tent he shares with seokjin.

“it’s four in the fucking afternoon,” hoseok says.

“good afternoon, then,” yoongi replies, and walks in. before falling asleep, he hears namjoon’s voice, but he can’t really understand what was said.

[ - ]

“help! help me, please! oh god, it’s chasing me,” someone yells outside. yoongi is nowhere near done with his nap, but he’s already awake and it sounds like someone’s in trouble. the stranger doesn’t have time to process what happens when yoongi grabs his leg and pulls him in.

“hey man what the f-“

yoongi tells him to shut up and the only sound inside the tent is the rain, since it started pouring outside. “i believe i just saved your life, kid.”

“i was never in danger to begin with,” the stranger says.

“you were yelling around like a beast of some kind was chasing you around,” yoongi says, confused.

“that was soonshim, taehyung’s dog,” the boy says, “jimin and i were running around so soonshim would leave tae alone.”

“kim taehyung? i actually met him today.”

“oh, a fan! you’re lucky, you’re talking to his best friend, jeon jungkook,” the other says, holding out his hand.

“you wish, kid. min yoongi,” yoongi says, shaking jungkook’s hand.

“i mean, i know jimin’s his boyfriend, so he doesn’t count. i’m his best friend,” jungkook says, a childish smile on his face.

“you’ve got to be kidding me. anyways, i gotta go find my friends.”

“not until the rain stops. i ran for like 10 minutes, we must be pretty far away,” jungkook points out.

“shit, i don’t remember the way back to the car.”

“so we’re stuck here until the rain stops. where’s your phone?” jungkook asks. “mine’s with taehyung, i knew i’d drop it while i was running.”

“seokjin took my phone because we’re supposed to be on this bonding trip,” yoongi explains, rolling his eyes. “goodnight, wake me up when you figure out how to make it back to civilization.”

“wait, yoongi-“

"that's yoongi-hyung for you, kid.”

“you can’t leave me, what if someone tries to kill me and you’re asleep?”

“it’s a possibility,” yoongi says.

suddenly, someone hits their tent. jungkook screams and clings to yoongi, whose eyes widen in fear.

“are you two done? we made a dinner reservation for 8 at the restaurant,” namjoon says.

a few minutes later, they’re all sitting at a dinner table, including taehyung, jimin and jungkook. both yoongi and jungkook’s cheeks remain a light shade of pink.

“we could’ve met in a different way, hyung,” jungkook says, eyes everywhere but on yoongi’s face.

“it wouldn’t have been an adventure,” yoongi replies, playing with his food.

“i’ve had a few of those, actually,” the younger says, running his free hand through his black hair.

“tell me something,” yoongi starts, “if i buy you breakfast tomorrow, will you tell me about them?”

“sure,” the younger smiles, bunny teeth showing, “hopefully soonshim doesn’t chase us.”

“and if he does,” yoongi says, “we’re well prepared."

#yoonkook #sugakookie #bts #yoonkook scenario #sugakookie scenario #yoongi #jungkook #min yoongi #jeon jungkook #bts yoongi #bts jungkook #myg #jjk

[thelillykane]

logan/lilly head canons for if she had lived 💛

1. Lilly finds out Aaron’s been taping her without her consent, which pisses her off beyond all fucking belief. What makes her even angrier is when Aaron tries to kill her for taking them and this one fucking deputy from the sheriffs department tries to say that it’s her fault (Keith fires him, almost immediately, but that doesn’t make her any less livid). Her parents don’t say that it’s her fault in so many words, but it’s clear from the way they act even more like assholes to her that they think she kinda had it coming. Lynn and Trina don’t really like her either anymore, which makes sense, even though Lynn doesn’t like her almost on Logan’s behalf and that’s just dumb because Logan’s already making jokes about it. 

2. “You can cross sleeping with an oscar winner off the bucket list.” Is the first thing Logan says when she wakes up in the hospital. 

According to Veronica, Logan hadn’t left the hospital since she’d been admitted and was seemingly angrier about the fact that neither Lilly nor Duncan had told him Duncan had epilepsy, despite the fact that they’d known each other since they were five. Veronica also says that Logan’s the one who found the tapes hidden in the vent. Veronica admits that they watched them – slipped away in all the chaos of the department having to rush three people to the hospital and trying to secure the crime scene – because she says they wanted to make sure they were important before bothering Keith and/or invading Lilly’s privacy. 

Logan doesn’t say anything. He just keeps sleeping in the chair next to her bed and holding her hand and he grins at her all the time like full, soft grins that light up his whole face and he kisses her on the cheek and plays with her hair and tells her stupid jokes and he’s just there. 

3. They don’t get back together. Lilly’s memory of the day leading up to the attack is super fuzzy, but she can remember Logan’s note with almost perfect clarity. Once she’s feeling up to it she rips him a new one for having the audacity to break up with her in a hand written note of all things and he just shrugs all sheepish and he won’t look her in the eye, but surprisingly it sticks. Or, maybe it’s not surprising considering that yeah she’s fucked his abusive dad and Logan’s seen the evidence firsthand, but. 

4. Lilly starts volunteering for the nearest Planned Parenthood. Volunteering turns into being on the board, which turns into attending seminars in Washington D.C. as a Youth Advocate, fighting for an end to abstinence-only education, emphasizing the need for enthusiastic consent, fighting against rape culture and slut shaming, and fighting for broader lgbtq representation in schools, include sex ed focused on wlw or mlm sex, not just heterosexual sex. 

She realizes she wants to do this as a career, for the rest of her life, sometime in the middle of junior year, which is a problem because she’d only half-heartedly applied to San Diego state and that school so does not have a good enough women and gender studies program. Thankfully, Veronica Mars is a badass (and yeah her parents are rich), so by the skin of her teeth she gets into Amherst College which is supposed to be one of the best programs aside from the Ivy’s and she’d die before going to an Ivy League school. She’s surprised, deciding to go to a school away from California (all the way in MA, no less), but Logan picks her up and spins her around when they open the letter so she decides it’ll be good. 

5. Logan gets emancipated his senior year. Lynn wants to leave California and move back to Tennessee, so she signs the papers and Logan buys his own house out down by the water. Lilly visits for the first time over her winter break and it’s perfect. Only three bedrooms so it’s not over the top (which Logan always hated about his childhood homes) and it’s full of large windows and natural lighting and Logan painted each wall in his garage a different shade of green just because he could and if they’re really quiet they can hear the sounds of the ocean and the air smells like salt all the time. 

It happens almost by accident, but it’s late at night, they’re lying on the floor staring up at the stars through the skylight, they might’ve started and finished a bottle of wine together, they’re holding hands and her legs are tangled up with his because they’ve never kicked the habit, the sound of the ocean is so soothing and calming and then he’s kissing her or she’s kissing him and then they’re making love (not sex. with logan it’s never just sex. it’s quality, orgasm-inducing, her legs are weak for days, love making). 

Understandably Logan kinda freaks out when they’re done and locks himself in his room but yk she lives at his house when she’s not a school so she sleeps in one of the spare bedrooms and when she wakes up Logan has made thick cut french toast with fresh strawberries and orange juice and they sit out on his back steps, sharing the same blanket because it’s january and fucking cold and they agree that they’re doing too good, Logan’s going to Hearst in the fall, she’s kicking ass at University, and yeah, it’s still too weird and too fresh to derail everything by starting up again. Logan says they owe it to themselves to make it and be happy as individuals and not worry about fucking each other up. They, obviously, don’t tell Veronica or Duncan or anybody what happens. 

6. They’re each a few years out of college, Logan owns a business and also a non-profit organization for abused kids (he didn’t want any of the money Aaron left him after he bit it in jail, but he also didn’t like any of his charity options so he ended up creating his own. Him and Trina haven’t talked since), she’s working as a community organizer at Planned Parenthood , submitting resumes to non-profits, etc.. They fly to different states all the time to attend meetings and rallies and to visit Veronica completing her Masters in Criminal Justice at Rutgers, but when they’re not flying they live at Logan’s, more often than not sleeping in the same bed (again, they never kicked the habit. They don’t want to). They’re skyping Duncan one day – he’s doing some fucking overseas thing in Australia, the asshole – when Duncan asks if they’re dating again. Asks it super casual like they’re all thirteen again and Logan and Lilly have broken up and gotten back together again eight times already and it’s only noon on Tuesday and Duncan’s trying to figure out if this is what the rest of the week is going to be like and if he’s going to have to (offer to) share his bed with Logan if they’re not back together by the end of the night. Lilly’s expecting Logan to freak out, or deflect and call Duncan an asshole, but he just kinda smirks, gets all evasive like they used to when they were kids, just because they knew it pissed Duncan off whenever they didn’t give him a straight answer. Duncan’s groan comes through the computer, but he doesn’t say that he thinks it’s a bad idea, and Logan just keeps on smirking. 

7. “You know, if he’d just asked if you wanted to make a sex tape, this whole mess never would’ve happened.” 

They’re driving from the airport to Veronica’s school when Logan brings this up. For the first time. In seven fucking years. Slash for the first time ever. She studies his posture but his hands are relaxed on the wheel and he spoke with a sort of practiced ease, like he’d been meaning to say this for a while and only just remembering. 

“But, you know, it was statutory rape either way.” 

She’s rolling her eyes before she’s even really processed his words. “Was it statutory rape when you were fucking Kendall Casablancas?” 

“Hmm, technically. But that was all consensual.” 

“Well, fucking your dad was consensual for me.” 

“I know.” 

She twists in her seat to stare at him fully, and Logan’s positively fucking beaming next to her, but his eyes are back on the road and he doesn’t say anymore on the topic. 

8. “I have a secret. A good one,” Lilly gushes the second she gets Veronica alone, Logan wandering off somewhere to buy them all icees. “Logan’s in love with me.” 

“That’s not a secret,” Veronica responds, not even bothering to look up from her phone. 

“Yes! It is! I mean, god, Dorkus, Logan’s in love with me.” 

“And you’re in love with him. This is not earth shattering.” 

“I think we’re going to try dating again.” 

Veronica sighs, finally pulling herself away from composing the worlds longest text message to Wallace, and looks Lilly in the eye. 

“Honestly, Lil, you two live together and everybody knows you two slept together when you first came down from college. We’ve al just been waiting for you guys to clue in.” 

When Logan comes back with the icees they walk flanking Veronica on either side and she spends half the day glancing at him from under her eyelashes and the other half trying not to burst out giggling when he glances under his eyelashes at her. 

9. The plan was that when they were done visiting Veronica she would fly directly to Chicago for a conference and he would fly back to California for a meeting with his board advisors, but instead they both end up canceling their plans and booking two flights to Tennessee. Lynn’s hair is shoulder length and slightly curled from the humidity and after she gets done hugging Logan for no joke ten fucking minutes she surprises Lilly by giving her a hug as well. 

In the middle of copious amounts of sauce slathered pasta and glasses of chardonnay, Lynn asks them bluntly how long ago they started dating again. 

“Recently. I wanted you to be the first to know. Well, aside from Ronnie, but she knows everything. Are you…mad about it or…”

“Are you happy?” Lynn asks simply, and Logan doesn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night. 

// 

They make love – marathon love making in the shower, on the floor, in the bed, on the grass out by the pond where they went spontaneous it’s-three-am-and-the-humidity-is-killing-us skinny dipping, on the kitchen table even though the wood is super old and won’t stop creaking don’t break. I swear we’ll make this worth your while Logan had promised the table, whispering against her thighs as he ate her out for the first time since high school – all night in Lynn’s yellow painted guesthouse and they keep murmuring under their breath how much they love each other until they remember yeah, it’s not a poorly-kept secret anymore, and they start shouting LILLY KANE LOVES LOGAN ECHOLLS, LOGAN ECHOLLS LOVES LILLY KANE at the top of their lungs until Lynn personally knocks on the door and tells them to shut up. 

10. She thinks they’re both a little nervous about it given their revolving on-off status in the past, but even when they were broken up for six hours, or she was fucking Weevil, or mad at him for kissing Yolanda, she always knew that in her future she was with him. She knows Logan always felt the same. 

Hardly anybody is phased by them getting back together, and the one time someone does try and give them shit Logan punches the guy so hard that it breaks the asshole’s jaw. Everyone leaves them alone after that. 

A year passes, then two, then three, until one day they wake up and feel like getting married. 

They plan it in about a week, keeping it small, for now. (She knows Logan’s lying when he says he won’t one day want a big elaborate wedding. Boy is a hopeless romantic who has been planning it since they were SIX). They get married on the beach near their house with just Veronica, Duncan, Lynn, and Keith in attendance and when they exchange their vows they talk about being together forever and then finding each other and being together beyond that and they talk about love and how they’ve been loving each other since they were children and how it just gets more breathless and delightful with each passing day and when they priest finally pronounces them man and wife, two souls and beings and whatever merging into one, everyone is crying. 

They don’t make love on their wedding day. Instead, they lay side by side on the floor underneath the skylight, Lilly still in her dress and Logan still in his tuxedo, and they hold hands with their legs all tangled up together as they giggle and name the stars after one another. 

#jennie interacts with people #bisexualcordelia #IDK WHAT THIS IS BUT IT'S OVER 2000 WORDS LONG AND I CRIED A LOT #less headcanons and more softkey fic #bye!!! #logan and lilly #~ #fic*