That Engel moonscorched design is fucked up, I love it. I couldn't find more info on her if I search up "Engel" on ur acc (I'm sorry if there is and I just haven't seen it ;v;), so I'm curious about her and what aspects of her you had in mind when designing her moonscorched form
Oh I’ll totally start tagging her ! Im sorry because this is gonna be LONG!! I also apologise if it doesn’t make sense, I haven’t slept 💔
She’s originally my signalis oc! So most of it translates over, so if you see her as a robot that’s why :3
(Warning because idk how to censor stuff on tumblr; for self harm, gore, nudity!!)
She’s a pilot ! I’m still making lore stuff with her but she’s originally from Rondon.
When designing her Moonscorched form, I wanted to really dig into her fears. She's terrified of the fact that she's been treated differently since childhood because she's afab, that the misogyny she's faced shaped her into being afraid to fully embrace femininity. In one piece of art, she draws a mustache on herself to appear more masculine (I’ll put a bunch of photos at the end!). I will say she doesn't identify as a man, she is comfortable with her gender identity as a woman. She just wish she could freely express herself without fears. I also just adore how she looks with a drawn on moustache jsjsjs
She's also struggles with PMDD (Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder), which is something that I personally experience and have incorporated into the character's design. The week leading up to her period is usually painful and difficult to get through. so when her period begins it's a huge relief, knowing that the awful week she just experienced was due to PMDD and not her usual self.
Another reason periods are important to her is that she has a phobia of childbirth. So she takes comfort in the knowledge that she is safe when her period comes around. This is why in her moonscorched design her chest and stomach are a vagina, her uterus is bleeding to show period imagery and her fimbriae are holding her stomach open- the reason she has dove wings on her head might seem unrelated but it’s because in her signalis version she’s a dove ! (A type of replika) so it’s a reference to that ! (I also imagine her moonscorched name would be ‘Fallen Engel’ )
I will say, (warning for sh) the reason her stomach is opened up is due to a past injury she caused herself, she has a large scar down her stomach that she did to herself, she wanted to make herself infertile and did it to an extreme during PMDD. So in her moonscorch design her uterus actually has a hole in it, it’s just hard to see !
Basically Engel is a character that I project my gender, period issues and pmdd onto heavily, so her moonscorched design really does have a lot of meaning!
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Do you have any recs for understanding narratology/basic introductions? We did a class on it in uni and it made no sense at all, to the point that it became a running joke for us when material was taught badly.
Sure!
Small disclaimer these will be slightly classics-skewed because i only got into narratology after i went back to studying classics, and my comp lit degree threw a BUNCH of theories at us without explaining much about any of em (or maybe i was just more interested in the literary history side of things at that point lmao)
My biggest go-to is Narratology and the Classics by Irene de Jong, which is an introductory work written for BA students. It first discusses the theory from beginning to end and then offers a few case studies in ancient genres such as epic, greek tragedy, and historical writing. I would recommend this one for ANYONE trying to get into narratology, since de Jong has an incredibly clear and succinct writing style that gets the message across incredibly well. (The only downside imo is that she's...very set on her own viewpoints. but she invented narratology for classics, so we smile and nod whenever she does).
These can be followed up by her narrators and focalizers, which was the first work to use narratology for classics and therefore does the same on a much larger scale with the Iliad as case study, and her series Studies in Ancient Greek Narrative, which gives a rundown of important classical works/genres per narratological concept (vol. 1 is narrators, 2 is time, 3 is space, dunno if there's a fourth yet).
Other stuff i recommend for purely the theory is:
Bal, M. ‘The Point of Narratology.’ Poetics Today 11.4, 1990, 727-53.
-> INCREDIBLE essay from the OG narratologist (after Genette) about how analysing narrative structure/focalisation/etc can reveal cultural, historical and ideological frameworks within texts and their context. the foundation of my entire methodology ngl
Bertens, Hans. Literary theory: The basics. London: Routledge, 2007.
Puckett, K. Narrative Theory: A Critical Introduction. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2016.
Schmid, Wolf. Narratology: an introduction. Berlin: Walter de Gruyter, 2010.
And ok if you wanna continue with the OGs (even though i haven't even read them fully myself) you need first Gérard Genette (who developed the theory from a structuralist standpoint) in Narrative Discourse: An Essay in Method and then Mieke Bal, who in turn taught de Jong who brought it to classics (who then taught ME so i'm only four handshakes away from the start of narratology ANYWAYYYY)
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Hi, hi 👋 👋 I am not really sure if you are taking requests at the moment , if you don't that is totally fine. For the last week I have been reading your works and they had me hanging by a thread, I have read them several times now cause they are that good. That being said can I requests sae-nii with a little stepsister that has a petite body(small boobs/butt) that has seen her big bro being surrounded by mature women, and him not making a move to push them off, so that makes her so insecure : ( , so she starts to distance herself and hide her body from him because she thinks she is not attractive anymore. So after a week of sae confronting her and she just giving him the silent treatment, he corners her while she was changing and she just breaks down and tells him about her insecurity. Sae can not believe what kind bs his little stepsis is thinking so he throws her on her bed and starts eating her out while telling her he is not gonna stop till he hears her saying she is a pretty girl. The stepsis is stubborn and on low confidence so he ends up overstimulating her till she begins shaking and crying and is trying everything to take him off her while still refusing to admit she is beautiful. Suddenly she turns and tries(keyword :tries) to crawl away but Sae is quick to pin? her hips and continue. Poor stepsis can not hold on any longer and sae does not shows any signs of stopping so she caves in and chants that she is the most pretty girl and finally sae stops and tells her she will be punished more if she will ever think that again. I hope it made sense ? It is totally fine if you do not want to do it though : ). Do not forget to take breaks and have a great night or day !
hihi! 1) i really loved this ask oh my god, it’s absolutely stunning and 2) requests are always open unless stated otherwise so tysm for that! i really hope you enjoy this & have a great day! <33
it truly did hurt. you felt terrible watching your nii-san with such developed women, whenever one of them clung to him, flirting and pushing their breasts against him. of course, he didn't notice - such matters were insignificant to him, so you didn't dare to tell him how you felt. it was intimidating to open yourself up in front of so many people who admired you and your stepbrother.
all it took for you to snap out of your thoughts was to hear sae call out your name, lightly rubbing circles on your shoulders. you quickly looked up, plastering on a smile. “sorry? i wasn't focusing, my mind was.. elsewhere.” you drifted once more to your train of thoughts, barely registering his words.
you could tell he mentioned going to the second party of the night, but you quickly informed him that you were exhausted. that was a lie, but he didn't know that. he gave you a nod before excusing himself and escorting you to his car. “is everything okay? you appear to be out of it.” he spoke quietly, but loudly enough for only you to hear.
“just fatigued, like I said. i'm sorry you had to end your night early; we had more parties to attend.” you sighed apologetically, your gaze fixed on your lap. pulling on the edge of your dress, you felt even more miserable than before. he bought it for you while he was abroad, the dress. you could feel his cold gaze on you, but he said nothing. to be honest, you preferred the pleasant silence of the ride home. it was preferable than talking when you were upset.
( O1 , O2 )
( O3 , O4 )
( O5 , O6 )
( 8:OO PM )
six days. that's the amount of time that has passed since the party incident, if you can even call it that. that's also how long you've been avoiding your stepbrother, sae itoshi. sure, it was stupid. but you didn't want to bother him and bring him down when he could be having the time of his life. he approached you more than usual, so you could tell he noticed.
even though you tried to avoid him, he managed to corner and chase you down like an animal.
“how long were you planning to avoid me for?” sae snarled quietly, his patience eroding from annoyance. “why the fuck are you avoiding me?” he continued asking questions, hovering over you. his gaze dug into you, his arms by your sides. “i've been trying to be a nice brother and check in on you, but it's been difficult because you keep hiding from me.”
“i wasn't trying to avoid you! i've just gotten busy!” you almost immediately responded, a shaky laugh exiting your lips. “why would i want to avoid you?” you played with the edge of your shirt, hardly able to squeak out your words.
“that's what i'm curious about.” he snarled. his arms now crossed over his chest. “you don't appear to be too busy for rin, but you are for me?” every word he spoke sent goosebumps up your spine and caused nervousness to rise within you.
“i don't know what you're talking about, nii-san,” you blurted out before pushing past him, a smile on your face. “but I really need to get going now, bye!” little pants were snatched from you as you ran to your room. you hadn't run far, but you were terrified. i was afraid he'd find out that you were envious of the women he hung around with. how you felt insignificant in comparison to the company he kept. hearing him shout your name and walk to your room was your cue to lock the door and bite your lower lip anxiously.
sae knocked twice on your door, and when all he received was silence, he sighed and walked away. as you fell onto your bed, the sound of his footsteps disappearing made you feel better. you sat in silence with your head buried in your pillow, the only sound bothering you being the buzzing of your phone.
“hello?” you reluctantly answered the phone before instantly regaining your composure when you heard your mother's voice. she mentioned taking you and your stepbrothers out to dinner to celebrate her nth anniversary with their father. you accepted her request without paying attention to what she truly wanted, thinking only of your previous encounter with sae.
“yes, sure, sure.” you waved to no one in particular before hanging up and unlocking your door. you often got thirsty from conversing when you didn't want to, so you strolled to the kitchen for some water. rin caught your eye from the opposite side of the room, and you smiled. “oh, rin, hurry up and get ready. mom invited us to dinner with her and your father. remember to tell sae!” you called out as you walked back to your room after your drink, running your fingers through your hair. it wasn't too messy, so you could easily style it. you shut your bedroom door and turned around, letting out a small yelp when you noticed sae in your room.
“sae! what are you doing here?” you asked, hands behind your back. he only stared back, his arms crossed. when you didn't get a response, you sighed and headed to your closet, trying to shake off his continuous stare at you. you felt a hand closing in on your wrist as you uncomfortably removed your shirt and attempted to put on another. you turned to face him, which was a mistake. you didn't know how fast he was, gripping your chin with his free hand and drawing you closer to him. you could feel his hot breath on you with your faces inches apart. “what's the matter? why are you avoiding me?” he murmured softly,
sae made sure his hold wasn't too tight to hurt you, but yet not too loose. “and don't say it's nothing; i'm not the moron you think i am.” he gently scolded you. your bottom lip quivered as you tried not to cry in front of him. he observed your reaction and continued coaxing you while stroking your cheek. that last move was the final push you needed to start sobbing while holding to your older stepbrother. “i just,” you cried, fiercely wiping away your tears. “you're usually with these women who are prettier and better looking than I am! when it comes to curves, i look and feel like a child in comparison to them, and that makes me feel like i'm embarrassing you."
as you opened out to him, you began muttering and sniffling silently. You felt horrible. when you didn't hear sae reply, you looked up at him, only to be met with the most bewildered look you'd ever seen. “sae?” you muttered gently, trying to read how he felt.
"you—" he halted for a second, staring at you. "Do you think I prefer those women over you?" Sae couldn't help but laugh as he leaned in closer, your back now brushing against the closet door. "Of course I do," you said, avoiding his gaze and glancing at the ground. "Have you seen how I look next to them?"
Sae looked at you and scoffed, speechless. "You truly are an idiot, aren't you?" Your eyes welled up at that line, and you bit your lower lip, trying not to cry any farther. It was only natural he would choose them over you, you were his stepsister—
"I'm not interested in them; I'm interested in you." He drew you in, your lips now just inches apart.
“don't make that joke, it's not funny.” you tried shoving him away with little force, your cheeks steadily burning up. “do you think i'm kidding? let me show you that i'm not.” sae leaned in close and kissed your lips in a frantic and passionate kiss, drawing you in closer than before.
to say it stole your breath away would be an understatement – you felt as if you had everything you could possibly want, as if you were on top of the world. sure, it was stupid, but you liked the idea of having him all to yourself. call it selfishness, but you were relieved he preferred you above the others. sae carried you from your thighs and dropped on the bed, with you now beneath him, exactly as you caressed his cheek and deepened the kiss. he panted silently, attempting to regain his breath. “stop dismissing yourself; you're much more attractive than those girls.” his remarks caused a crimson flush to appear on your cheeks, and you scoffed, not believing him at all.
"oh, no, that's not true!" as he removed your skirt, his cold and hard grasp on your thighs made you squeal. "stop lying; it is true. i won't stop until you admit that you're the most beautiful of all of them at the party." the way he stared at you told you that he wouldn't stop what he was about to do until he heard you speak those words, even if you dismissed them as a joke or a humorous threat. "yes, absolutely." you were ready to make another sarcastic remark when your breath hitched as you felt sae's tongue delicately lick your clothed cunt. when his eyes met yours, you could notice a dark cloud of lust in his.
“well, i guess you'll have to take it the hard way.” you backed away as his teeth pulled down your panties. he'll definitely give up soon, right? there's no way sae would continue until you said the words.
wrong.
the moment you uttered those words, sae's tongue sucked on your clothed clit, making you gasp out in shock and pleasure. you squeaked, squeezing your eyes shut and blushing heavily as he swirled his tongue round and round, teasing you with casual flicks; he was ravenous, fingers drawing circles on your chest, running his tongue over your clit and sucking hard.
sae pushed your cute tiny panties out of the way and threw them someplace, not caring about them right now despite your protests claiming that it was your favorite. “will you admit you're the most beautiful? we don't have to do things the hard way.”
hoping you were wet enough, sae pulled away and lowered his hand, his palm gliding over your stomach and between your legs, fingers sinking down and brushing against you where indeed, he came in contact with your slick and smirked, teasing your damp folds with his fingertips and observing how you shivered and shuddered under his touch.
you whimpered his name weakly, refusing to confess and he just drank in your shallow breaths as he continued to lazily suck on your tits whilst slipping two fingers in and out of your hole. sae was mercilessly teasing you, watching your reaction to his torturous actions. mind going hazy, you were a whimpering mess, squirming over the mattress.
a strangled gasp left the back of your throat and you threw your head backwards into the pillow, back arching; he could tell you probably weren’t able to take much longer and released you with a wet pop, panting slightly.
“sae?” you murmured; reopening your eyes, you glanced down to see that he had positioned himself between your legs.
you blinked wide-eyed as he gently eased your legs apart and with a firm grip on your thighs, lowered himself even further, his face level to your pussy. although he’d done this to you before, your heart was pounding heavily, your nerves getting the best of you. he could see your pussy even clearer more than ever, your cunt wet and shiny with your slick and he carefully spread your lips.
sae looked up and your eyes met - you swallowed down and glanced to the side, blushing heavily and he said, “look at me. I want you to see what I’m doing to you.”
You slid your gaze to him and he smirked, leaned in, his hot breath fanning over your bare flesh – and suddenly you were aware of how close he was - before he buried his face into your cunt, his tongue flicking across your clit, gently at first.
immediately, you attempted to draw your knees to your chest but he held on, his grip on you tightening and your fingers scrunched into the sheets underneath as he sucked you with more force, groaning as you instinctively began to buck your hips further into his face, wanting to feel more of his tongue on you, his hair tickling your inner thighs.
his lips were glued to your cunt and sae kept you pinned in your spot, occasionally glancing up to see your reaction and listening to your little pants and desperate moans as your legs quivered by the sides of his head.
“sae,” you squeaked out. “i can’t take much more…”
“Yes, you can,” he murmured, and your response was a defeated whine as you threw your head back. you could hear the quiet wet noises coming from his mouth; he had moved his tongue to your sopping entrance and after one final suck, started tracing the sides in a teasing manner before he shoved his tongue in.
you gasped, fingers clawing at his hair as he persisted. all you could do was lie still with your legs hiked over his shoulders, wailing helplessly as you sank your hands into his messy hair, trying your best not to roll around over the mattress.
with a moan, your brows squeezed tightly together as he slowly loosened his grip on your legs and your first instinct was to automatically draw your legs to your chest once more. he slid his palms over your thighs, his eyes boring into yours.
“i’m close… please sae..” you moaned helplessly, throwing your head to the side and grabbing onto the corners of the pillow as you came with a shaky breath.
( 12:OO AM )
and it continued. he pulled countless orgasms from you, so much that you both lost track of time and count. you sobbed, begged and pleaded for him to stop. but he didn’t. you hadn’t uttered the words he wanted from you, and it was currently, what? midnight? you had been going at it for four hours now, you sure were stubborn.
but you began to crack.
“pleasepleaseplease—” how long had you been begging for? you forgot. but the pleasure was too much, you couldn’t take it anymore. “you know what you have to say, just say those words and i’ll stop it.” he whispered, mouth still attached to your dripping cunt.
and you tried, you tried so hard not to but your body couldn’t. “i’m sorry, i’m the prettiest and the most gorgeous girl there was, i’m sorry! please, please—” you cried out, covering your face with one hand.
you felt a small smile form on his lips and he got up, finally letting your body rest as your chest heaved. “that wasn’t so hard, was it?” he mumbled, kissing your lips lightly. you could taste yourself on his lips — of course you did, he spent hours going down on you.
“we should call your mum and reassure her.. as well as take a bath and change the sheets.” he suggested, picking you up in a bridal style.
only then did he realize, that you had fallen into a deep slumber. he didn’t mind though, he’d love to take care of you. it’s what he always tried to do, even if his attempts seemed cold and ruthless in ways.
and when you awoke later on, you were in his hands, his lips on your forehead as he slept.
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