Story Time:
For the past two weeks, I've been working on an extensive PowerPoint for my mom on the Enneagram because she wanted to use it as a tool to help her coworkers understand each other (and themselves) better so that their meetings aren't so tense and awkward. I love making PowerPoints (because they give me an excuse not to work on other things) and every now and then I regain interest in the concept of the Enneagram so it was just something I had to do.
Now, if you didn't know, the Enneagram is a personality typing tool just like the Myers Briggs one. Instead of 16 types, it has 9 types (with 27 different subtypes and 29 Wing-types) and it focuses on personality as a coping mechanism developed in childhood in times of trauma or stress that didn't leave when we grew up. Also, it's sorta built around our motivations but motivations that are fueled by negative traits (like the 7 deadly sins) or a vice such as anger, fear, or shame. Personally, I think that the Enneagram is a little more accurate and a lot more helpful in understanding yourself and others. I'm sure there's a lot of debate on which one is better but since I've done so much research on it for the PowerPoint, I'm more familiar with this one and I feel a lot more connections with my Enneagram type (Type 5) than I do with my supposed MBTI type (INTP).
That being said though, as I read through articles and watch videos detailing the Type Five, I keep getting smacked upside the face because holy SHIT do things start making sense about me. Like I'll read something, things just start to click, and then all of a sudden I want to cry because, "Yes, this makes sense. Oh my god, so I'm not just a fucking weirdo." The more I read, the more I'm starting to regret my choice in my current major because it is just NOT fitting for me but at this point, it's too late and even if it wasn't, I'm too afraid to change it. Had I known these things about me earlier, why I act a certain way, why I think the way I do, why I'm so fearful of everything, why I consume so much trivia and hate being around people, then MAYBE I would've been able to make better decisions in my life.
And I know that humans are unique and you can't possibly place them in these little boxes that the Enneagram or the MBTI types create (or hell, even fucking Zodiac signs) but I'm like a poster child for Type Fives,, it's not even funny at this point. It really is just helpful little tool neatly organized in a cool little diagram that can potentially help you learn more about yourself but I'm not saying it's like,, absolute or the key to unlocking everything there is to know about someone. It's just cool!
There's just so much information on the Types and the Enneagram design and concept just scratches an itch in my brain that makes me just wanna,,, like punch something or whatever. With Type Fives, they're fucking terrified of the world around them so they withdraw themselves and seek out knowledge in a way to better understand how the world works in order "come back later," so of course I'm fucking obsessed with this neat little tool that helps me figure out people on a deeper level! I have such a hard time connecting and being around people but knowing all this will (maybe) make things easier!
And I've been also seeing a lot of "growth tips" for the Type Five because I'm a very unhealthy Type Five but,, I read them and I'm like,, "Yeah,,, no." It's like,, exercising, stepping out of your comfort zone, and like asking for help. All things that scare me and I hate so,, unhealthy Five it is!
But,, yeah,
TDLR; I fucking LOVE the Enneagram and you should definitely check it out if you haven't already!
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I surrendered my heart
For a long time, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to blog because someone said posting personal stuff online (especially if I’m going into a public-facing industry) is not good.
But I still want to blog ahaha so I shall write today without thinking too much.
I tend to overthink. I like to think that I don’t overthink anymore but it’s not true cos I overthought last night and couldn’t sleep…
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In my healthiest era (2024)
My church has the habit of making three requests for the new year. Two of them were fulfilled last year.
My requests for 2023:
Life partner (LP) with chemistry, easy and light journey (unfulfilled)
School and work to the glory of God
To enjoy life to the fullest with the Lord, a sense of adventure, a sense of being alive
At the beginning He made me aware of my fear of being alive.
At…
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RAAAAAAA THEY'RE REALLL LOOK AT THEM <333<33<3
pebbles shimeji link by @/pocketgoat
no significant harassment shimeji link @/voldcat
now this is making me want to do a moon shimeji too
OH MY GOD THEY'RE WATCHING ME TYPE
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