#u can answer and I’ll diagnose you

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Hello there!

Mod team:

I'm Jamie and I use any pronouns but prefer masc (he/him) thank you! I'm on the A-spectrum, specifically aegosexual and aromantic!!

My name's Noah Oats and I use they/them pronouns! I'm aroace, specifically aegoromantic and aegosexual! I have diagnosed ADHD and am an INFP :D

We’re here for all your Questions, Rants, Vents and Confessions!

Ask box is always open and we’re always here for your asks!

We are here to educate, explain and help with anyone who needs it!

Stay safe, remember you are valid and its your box!

LOVE U ALL U ARE VALID

Link to my Aro-spec post

Link to a post containing most Ace Spec identities

Asexual Wiki, Aromantic Wiki,

the Asexual Visibility and Education Network -Asexual resource

AUREA - the Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy

List of Aroace Spectrum resources

Connect to the community - aces and aros The Battle of the Phobics Link to link post

The comments section link to a helpful article on how to educate/beat the acephobes

Ask box Days!

Sunday: sex stories Sunday, for aro and/or ace specs! Block the tag “aroace explicit” to avoid!

Mondays: free day

Tuesday: rant and vents! Everything goes but everything answered with a ‘.’ Thing

Wednesday: free day

Thursday: minor friendly Thursday! A day for just minors asks to be answered about their aspec ID and questions. Block “aroace minors” to avoid

Friday: free day

Saturday: free day

Recommend blogs

please feel free to ask me first, if I don’t provide a good answer or you want more you can ask again or go to one of these blogs! Please tag more blogs I should add to this list!!

@asexualadvice - asexual advice! (Read blog but helpful info!)

@aegosexual-moments - the aegosexual blog of all time (excluding myself /j)

@aromantic-diaries - Very cool aro person!

(Yes I know my profile pic is off center, suffer)

(It’s seperate because aroace is unfortunately usually viewed as one identity, ace and aro are separated spectrums)

(If I hear one more complaint about my icon I’ll change it to what ever random piece of art crosses my dash next and you wouldn’t like that would you??)

The Blogs blogs that are kinda fan accounts???? wtf????

@aroaceplaceforsome they’re the neutral party here, they use pronouns

@throwawaysoiwontgeteatenbyjamie a whore

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO @the-knowable-entity for drawing our profile pic!!!

Banner art by @pride-flag-planets

The forces:

A collection of multi member blogs dedicated to one country of aspecs… all against Denmark

@aussieaspecforces

@indianaspecforces

@americanaspecforces

@british-aspec-forces

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aspec #intro post #finally #pride month #ace pride #aro pride #aroace pride #queer resources #resources #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+ #lgbtqplus

[sophieinwonderland]

Just found your acc and decided to scroll through r/systemscringe. What’s your take on https://www.reddit.com/r/SystemsCringe/s/cJDvCVKClu ?

Also, in my scrolling, i think i may have come across the only genuinely cringe thing there, which i’ll also link. Make sure to read through it entirely, it gets… weird.

https://www.reddit.com/r/SystemsCringe/s/CkoZgaM8fd

Oh, that one!

I actually came across that and was thinking about responding to it already.

Boy!

That certainly is a take, isn't it!

"Why would people not like to be called liars if they're telling the truth?"

This is one of those questions that I feel could really be answered by just... using that thing between your ears.

I implore the members of r/systemscringe to at least try it. Even just once. They might actually enjoy it.

Look, it's pretty natural for people to not like getting accused of lying. Especially when it's about something personal to them.

This is just normal, basic human behavior. It's not even getting to the fact that many of the people accused are faking are trauma survivors, and often have trauma related to trying to tell people about abuse and not being believed or trusted. And this being triggered can result in them going into fight or flight mode, which in this case, the "fight" response may be defending their reputation and arguing that they're actually telling the truth.

It's also not getting to the fact that DID is often accompanies with denial, derealization, and depersonalization, all thing that might make being fakeclaimed hit especially hard.

Also, the part about "only seeing fakers" defend themselves is pretty silly when you realize that they don't have a way of determining who is or isn't a system.

Oh wow!

Fakers have anxiety? I never realized! It's a good thing that people with genuine disorders that are heavily associated with trauma will never have any anxiety at all. /s

u/Kooky-Copy4456 kind of acknowledges that their own anxiety makes them stressed over people thinking they might be lying below, but still essentially says this should still be a red flag for people with DID for some reason...

And then u/colorfulcrowns tells them that their own defensive reaction to defend their anxiety disorder, stemming from their anxiety disorder, would be a red flag that they don't have an anxiety disorder.

...

I could go on, debunking argument after argument in that thread, but here's the bottom line.

This whole topic is manipulation.

It's to make fakeclaimers feel justified when their victims defend themselves, so that only proves further that the victims must be guilty of faking.

Even if you have paperwork mentioning your diagnosis, that won't be able to prove you're not faking to them. And worse, if you show them that paperwork, this shows you as even more defensive because no one who isn't faking would show you their paperwork. And as far as r/systemscringe is concerned, even being diagnosed doesn't prove you aren't faking.

As this commenter says in another thread:

r/systemscringe wants you to believe that anyone who they say is fake must be faking. If the victims argue, that means they're faking more. If they give proof, they're definitely faking. If they ignore your accusations, well, the silence speaks for itself doesn't it?

They don't believe in someone being innocent until proven guilt. They don't even believe in being guilty until proven innocent. They believe that you're guilty. Period. No exceptions. And any attempt to prove you aren't only proves you really were faking the entire time.

r/systemscringe's ideology hinges on convincing themselves and their members that they're the heroes protecting "real" systems from so-called fakers, and allowing even the slightest possibility that they might be bullying and mocking real systems all along is something they can't bring themselves to consider for a moment.

Posts like this aren't really about proving who is or isn't faking in the end. They're about convincing r/systemscringe bullies that they're the good guys and that any of their victims who fight back deserve to be victimized.

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #sysblr #system discourse #multiplicity #systemscringe #r/systemscringe #actually a system

[macabrecravings]

I once again come to you 3 times in a row to ask you about your silly goofies.

Do Cain and Fifi have special interests or hobbies?

(I have rewritten this next question like 5 times because i do not know how to put it in a way that doesnt come off as weird)

Are Cain or Fifi LGBTQ+/Neurodivergent? (Im just curious if you've got any silly headcanons on them, so u can answer this with other headcannons that dont have to do with this topic)

- 🧙‍♂️ anon pondering your orbs once again

1) Seraphina is an AVID MLP enjoyer!! She and Robin have spent countless hours watching it together and making art of their self inserts :3

2) She is also a huge fan of creepypastas!!! This applies to Cupcakes, the Rainbow Factory, the Pony.MOV series, Lil Miss Rarity, Jeff the Killer, Slenderman, etc!! Most creepypastas that r now considered classic, she’d be deep in the fandom & probably draw them or write about them ;w;

^ Robin hates scary things, so she wouldn’t subject him to these but he’s aware that they exist (as anyone in the brony fandom would be)

3) Both Cain & Seraphina are bisexual with a male lean :)

4) As for neurodivergence, uhhh,, the jury’s out on that one. ;w; Need to think about it more. Very likely though (based on my own experiences & perception of the world) I’ll probably end up projecting certain traits onto them and being like ope! Well! there you go!! ✌️😘

Cain strikes me as having ADHD and I could perceive Seraphina as being austisic but— again, as their creator, i’m hesitant to officially diagnose them until i know them better HAHAJDJD 😭🙏 MY BAD! Will update y’all.

#ask #oc: seraphina #oc: cain #my little pony #mlp #fluttershy #original post🍓💌 #my art🌹💌 #oc lore

[evangelina830]

[📌 ] Pinned!!!

🩵Introduction🩵

Hello! I’m Evangelina, but you can call me Evan! (Or any nickname of that ehe idm!)

I’m non binary and my pronouns are They/Them! I don’t mind He/Him, and I won’t get upset, but please don’t! PLEEEASE not She/Her! Pls

Pls check out my commissions HERE!!!

I am a Minor! I have adult friends, just don’t be weird obviously lol

Learning Spanish!

Please use tone indicators if you think something you say that I won’t understand! I’m self diagnosed Autistic and neurodivergent, please be patient! Also I have MASSIVE anxiety (+PTSD), so pls don’t scare me LMAOO

(Adding “read more” so the post isn’t too long, if you’re new to my account though please read!!!⏬️)

Gifts are my main love language so… YES PLEASE GIFTS EVERYWHERE!!! And I’d love if you asked me to draw things in my little inbox thing! Yes I’ll do your ocs and MAYBE characters of fandoms I’m not apart of! Not guaranteed to be super fast, but I might!

I LOVE PIANO AND HAVE OVER 10 CATS!!! So important! LMAOO- also I have 7 siblings ahahh.. last thing here, I’m very nice! Don’t be afraid to ask things even if it isn’t an art request!

If I don’t respond to DMs quickly, also apologies! I’m usually busy, multitasking, or asleep xd if it seems like I’m ignoring you, just know I’m trying my best :,0

🚫Boundaries!🚫

DNI!!! Pr0shitters (or those neutral to it), z00, fetish accounts, NSFW, homo/transphobes, AI “artists”, DSMP fans, racists, People who just be causing problems online-, any p3d0 shit like l0l1con, GOODBYE

Even if we’re friends or you’re the same age as me, PLEASE no saying suggestive comments, even for jokes! I feel like it’s okay to an extent, but im just saying it makes me uncomfy! If I ever make jokes like that, it’ll be like meme redraws or something- lmao! (This just goes for strange comments ABOUT me.)

Please do not trace/repost my art anywhere!!! If you wanna use it as a pfp, please ask, and if I say you can, credit me!!

🤍On this account…🤍

Anyone here is welcome! Of course not ones on my dni list xd OC x Canon, more than welcome!

Here I will post mainly Regular show, some Unikitty, and possibly some Welcome Home content! Regular show way more then the others, but feel free to request and ask for any of them!

Like said before, my asks and stuff, you can say anything you’d like! Art requests, questions, anything! I love getting those!^^

I’ll also be posting oc stuff!! I Wonder how side Blogs here works…

Beware, I post ships!!! Oooo!!! Lmao I support all ships! (Unless I know it to be problematic, toxic, or gross!) main ships I’ll be posting is Geneson (regular show) and.. well, I draw them mostly! If you feel like seeing other content, don’t be shy and tap that button!

✨Tags! (Didn’t steal I swear…)✨

#EvanSona (for my main persona/oc reference sheets!)

#EvanArt (for all my rendered art!)

#EvanDoodles (sorry it weirdly organized lol this is for silly doodles)

#EvanDrawing (for traditional art!)

#EvanUpdates (self explanatory)

#EvanAnswers (answering my inbox!)

#EvanReblogs (reblogging! Usually to boost friends posts, share gift art, etc!)

#EvanOther (for other stuff ofc)

💙Socials💙

INSTAGRAM - @ evangelina_830

TIK TOK - @ evangelina_830 (barely post)

TWITTER - @ evangelina_830 (inactive)

DISCORD - (close friends only xd unless I’m already comfy with u lol)

#EvanSona #EvanArt #EvanDoodles #EvanDrawing #EvanUpdates #EvanAnswers #EvanReblogs #EvanOther

[ncssian]

it makes me kinda upset the way i see a lot of people talking about eaw online and so i really appreciate your takes. so many people say its a bad representation of autism even when it echoes my experiences makes me feel bad. i feel like a lot of low support needs, high empathy autistic people dont understand the difficulties faced by low empathy, higher support needs afab autistics. some of us act like wyw. and to say its wrong, or to nitpick at this rep, or to even go so far as to say its a “male” representation of autism is so silly to me. i like the care and nuance you discuss this show with, because i see too many people trying so hard to make every single scene or aspect a negative thing just because it doesnt fit their experience of autism

thank u so much for this ask but im not sure how to answer it as tastefully as possible, so im sure i’ll say something here that could be construed as out of pocket or not my place to speak. however since i really agree with you i’m going to give my unasked for opinion anyway

first of all im not diagnosed autistic (i’ll really never know until i get access to a psychiatrist though) but even if i was i think my opinion on this issue would stay the same, which is that autism is literally a spectrum ? and everyone on the spectrum has different needs and different experiences so i dont really get how someone from one end of the spectrum could accurately speak on the rep of someone from another point of the spectrum. the opinions are def valid because they come from autistic people at the end of the day but ive also been seeing takes that… sort of blatantly ignore the fact that different types of autistic people exist.

the closest comparison i can think of is muslim rep. if i as a muslim see muslim characters playing terrorists i can obviously say this rep sucks ass, and i’ll be right. but if i see muslim characters that are either super religious or the opposite, super flippant about religion, i wont claim that it’s shitty representation just because it’s not an accurate representation of how *i* live my life. i know there are other muslims out there who will relate to it, and the rep is more for them than it is for me.

there is no one “bad/good representation” of autism because there’s hundreds of different representations, with the exception being blatantly poorly written rep that insults the group as a whole (see: muslim terrorist characters).

like most minority groups, autistic people aren’t monoliths and their opinions shouldn’t be presented as monolithic, which i think is the problem you’ve been seeing in the tags. it bugs me too but luckily the positivity overwhelms the negativity which means your feelings of being represented by wyw are 100% valid and correct. anyway those are my thoughts

#ncssian asks #extraordinary attorney woo #is this a problematic answer? maybe idk #discuss it if u want to

[stayonceforever]

 Always Taking Care

Pairing: Lee Felix x Male Reader

Genre: Fluff (?)

Warning: Reader has Covid

Word Count: 1,403 words

Summary: M/n is diagnosed with COVID but that doesn’t prevent Felix from taking care of him

I was sweating a lot and my temperature keeps rising and dropping. I’m sick and I’m unsure if it’s the common cold or COVID. I took the test yesterday and I’m getting the results today. I’m hoping it’s just the common cold because I’m suppose to go out with my boyfriend Felix tomorrow.

I’m now in bed shaking a lot. I’m pretty sure my fever was back. I just snuggled in my bed and played soft music, and hugging my plushie Felix gave to try sleep through the pain. But after a while I got a notification. I groaned in pain and checked it:

Specimen Collection date: 12/22/2021 Your SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes Covid-19) test result is POSITIVE

As I read the results, I couldn’t believe my eyes, I contracted covid. That means I couldn’t go on my date with Felix! Or for 2+ weeks! Dammit! I wanted to cry, and I did. Felix was just busy with his job this past few days, this was suppose to be our time together. Nothing I can do but just cry into my plushie. Embracing the scent of Felix that’s still on it.

After a while, I managed to cry it out all out, for now at least. The spam of texts from Felix reminded me I had to cancel our date. Call or text? I’m just going to stick with text because I don’t want him to see me in this condition.

9+ Missed Messages

9:03 | Lix <3: Morning my love 9:05 | Lix <3: Are you not awake yet? 9:28 | Lix <3: Hello?? 10:13 | Lix <3: M/n, I’m worried 11:39: | Lix <3: Are you dead?? 11:40 | Lix <3: Do I need to prepare your funeral?? 12:02 | : It’s now noon and you are never still asleep this late 12:03 | Lix <3: M/n, is everything okay?? 12:15 | Lix <3: Where are youuuu, I miss you :((

I felt so guilty for not answering, but what could I do when I felt like shit.

M/n: hello lix

Felix: M/N YOU’RE ALIVE!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! ARE YOU OKAY?

M/n: well about that-

Felix: something’s wrong, I knew. Are you okay??

I was going to tell him but a series of coughs occurred. It hurts so bad and I’m all by myself. I quickly grabbed my water and just chugged it. Leaving my phone on my bed, leaving Felix on seen.

Soon I heard my phone ringing but I just left it alone. I feel overwhelmed right now. I just plopped back onto the bed. And the ringing won’t stop so I just answered it realizing it’s Felix. I also didn’t realized it was FaceTime.

Felix: M/N?! ARE U SICK? U LOOK PALE!

M/n: yes Felix, I’m sick. I am not okay.

Felix: I’m coming over stay there.

M/n: wait no Felix stay away

Felix: and why would i listen to that?

M/n: Felix... I have COVID. You can’t come to me!!

Felix: WHAT?! NOOOO! What about our date?!?!

M/n: we have to cancel it

Felix: what noooooo. i was looking forward to it!

M/n: same lix, but we can’t. i have to stay alone for 10 days or 2 weeks and see if I get better.

Felix: who’s going to take care of you and feed you?! You live alone!! 

M/n: I’m not quite sure, but I’ll manage okay. Just keep yourself safe okay.

Felix: I want to go to you though!!

M/n: You can’t Lix, please stay away okay because I don’t want to get you sick

Felix: Hmm fine, but keep me updated every time okay!!

M/n” *chuckles* yes i will don’t worry my sunshine

Felix: Good, now rest!! 

M/n: okay mom, haha

Felix: I’ll let this slide for once

M/n: I win hehe

Felix: You always win in my eyes~~

M/n: UHHH BYE MY TOASTER IS LEAKING *ends call*

The toaster, is leaking.... I am the dumbest person alive. Aigoo, what has this illness done to my brain. II sighed but felt so icky from all this coughing and sneezing, so I’m going to shower. I slipped on my fuzzy slippers and walked towards the bathroom. 

I started filling up the tub with water. When it was half way, I threw in my purple lavender scented bath bombs. I also brought my speaker in the bathroom to play music. 

Music while showering is a whole different type of vibe. Especially when you pretend to be in a MV or drama. If you don’t do that in the shower, you’re weird.

Today felt like a ONE IN A MILLION by TWICE type of day. I played the song and sinked myself into the tub. Now pretending that I’m in a dramatic scene. I submerged by head into the water.

*TIMESKIP*

I walked out the bathroom now feeling refreshed. I was going straight back to my bed but then my stomach did the most monstrous growl. Realizing I haven’t eaten the entire day. 

I head towards the kitchen but ugh my forgetful self forgot to get groceries. I had to at least something right?? I searched through my empty fridge and pantry. Ugh I really messed this up. Maybe I should just have food delivered to me.

*DING DONG*

Who could that be? I wasn’t expecting anyone or anything. I quickly grabbed my mask and went to open the door. I opened it but I don’t see anyone there. I looked down and see a basket full of food and snacks.

I looked at in surprise, then I see a folded piece of paper. A note!! I picked up and read it.

“To help you get through your quarantine <3″

I looked around and I saw Felix’s blonde hair poking out behind a corner at the very end of the hall. I see his bright smile from a far, could melt everything in sight. I did a big heart to show I appreciated it. I grabbed the basket and went back in my room. This boy is too sweet for this cruel world, I’m lucky I had a man just like him. 

He continued to send me more groceries and sometimes even gifts. One time I opened the door to a huge stuff bear with chocolates in it’s arms. I ate the chocolate while snuggling with the bear, along with FaceTiming Felix.

There was this one time, I opened the door more quicker than usual cause I was bored and waited for it. I look out through my door and the direction of the hall Felix is usually at. But then I saw him still running and the suddenly.

*THUD*

I saw him fell and I just laughed so loud. He just got up and laughed along with me. This boy is so silly I can’t. He kept doing this everyday, it makes my quarantine more enjoyable and tolerable.

My door bell rang once again, I put on my mask and head towards the door. I expected there to be another basket of things because that’s what Felix has been doing for the past few days. But to my surprise there wasn’t a basket, but a Felix.

I jumped back in surprise. I blinked making like what I saw would go away, but it didn’t. Felix was here, but in a hazmat suit. I opened my mouth about to spill out all the questions that was bottling up, but he put his finger on my lips shushing me.

Felix: I’m here in this suit so I can finally be with you

I was going to say something back but I was grasped into a tight hug from him. That hug, that warmth, that I’ve been so badly craving is now given to me. I hugged back immediately and didn’t want to let go.

He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He closed the door and brought me to my room. Suddenly he just threw me on the bed, I landed on top of my plushies. I see he laugh but he joined me on the bed and just cuddled me again.

It was weird feeling due to the hazmat suit but I don’t care. He spent so much money on this so he could be able to hug me. I just ignore it and just let me enjoy this moment. We stayed in bed hugging until we both fell asleep.

#felix x male reader #male reader #x male reader #skz x male reader #skz x y/n #skz #stray kids #stray kids male reader #stray kids x male reader #skz scenarios #lee felix #lee felix x male reader #yongb #stray kids yongbok #stray kids felix #skz felix #imagines #lee yongbok #lee yongbok x male reader

[multiples-fandomswontkillme]

~Metal Family headcanons~

These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf

Glam

Bisexual

Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.

He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.

Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.

Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.

He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.

This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.

This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.

Vicky

Also bisexual!

Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)

She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?

She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.

She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.

Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.

Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.

Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.

Rest of the family under the cut!

Heavy

Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.

Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.

Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.

He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!

Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.

Dee

I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.

Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.

Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.

The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.

Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.

He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.

Ches

Pansexual.

He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?

Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?

Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.

More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.

Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.

Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.

Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.

That would be all!

#metal family #glam metal family #ches metal family #victoria metal family #chess metal family #dee metal family #heavy metal family #metal family glam #metal family victoria #metal family dee #metalfamily #metal family heavy

[bromantically]

hi! I hope it’s ok to ask this question here, and if not, do you know any other blog who could answer my question? so! soon I may get assessed for adhd and I know that during assessment…they also asses you for oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder, right? I believe I meet the criteria for ODD and maybe CD along with ADHD. however, I’m worried about confidentiality… when I was assessed for autism, they write a very long paper describing my symptoms and things I’ve said during the screening. (And also asked my parents and teachers questions) I’m worried to answer honestly bc im afraid of some info about me getting out.. BUT that info is require for a CD diagnosis… it’s in the criteria and I need to say it.. but I know I’ll be judged a lot for it and looked down on by the professionals and I definitely don’t want my family knowing these things.. do they usually write a paper report on things you’ve said and give it to your parents when being diagnosed with ADHD(and CD or ODD)? I will not be able to get a CD diagnosis if I don’t mention these things …. and as people know, CD can develop into ASPD.. in the criteria for ASPD, you need a history of CD…. so I’m wondering … do I NEED a CD diagnosis or can the professional and I have a talk like “yeah u definitely showed symptoms of CD so it counts even without being diagnosed” can you tell me what your assessment during and after was like if that’s okay?

unfortunately i got my adhd dx at a very young age so i have no clue how it went, but i can reblog this to my adhd blog ( @nonbinary-adhd ) for my followers there to help with their stories! i dont know much about the diagnostic process because i havent been able to afford any diagnoses in recent years

i hope my followers can help though! ive also emailed my therapist to ask about it, and ill update if i receive a response

#anon asks #kitty answers

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

changbin x reader | part three of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst for a lil bit woo

↬ warnings; talk of perinatal depression, cursing, n labor 

↬ notes; changbin babi 🥺  ALSO ITS CHANGBIN DAY WOOO ITS MY BABYS BDAYYYYY SO I HAD TO POST THIS |

u two had just freshly started an official, public relationship

ofc changbin was freaking out while he was chilling in the bathtub behind the curtain so u could pee on the test already

u two were looking at the line coming in, praying that there would be only o n e 😳

slowly the other line comes in, dark blue n clear alongside the other one

“holy fuck—“

“what do we do?” you asked, your voice wavering while setting the test back down

his hands cupped your face, giving u a soft kiss n hugging you

“we got this, we’re having a baby, baby!” he started to joke and yall burst out laughing while crying in the bathroom

the first few months were amazing

ur lil bump sprouted out n u two were so happy about it

changbin is just so attentive and excited about this pregnancy and his first born

u really couldn’t have been better with ur lil family that was starting to become realer with each day

u two r such bullies yall r like

“what happened? ur a softie now binnie!!”

n he’d say shit like, “well at least i don’t pee every hour on the clock!!”

he makes u cry one time n u use that against him everytime u want something bc he feels guilty >:)

cute lil things like asking the baby what they want to eat or talking to it before the bed

(changbin reads the baby goodnight moon one time and ur just so in love like wow 🥺)

he secretly talks to the baby when you sleep every night because hes waiting for when ur little bean will reply back with a kick or a hand

he is W H I P P E D for u n ur baby bump

nursery is already done at five months

he needs all of the boys to come over though to help him figure out the instructions 😳 these are co nfusi ngg

they notice how smiley n giggly he is when he talks about u two and looking at the finished crib hes just so proud

yall r so happy and content with ur baby that was an accident, but u guys are so happy this happened

but something changes within u

changbin notices your lack of interest in the pregnancy during ur sixth month

ur sleeping pattern was off n u would sleep for hours during the day and night

u were very irritable, not wanting changbin to cuddle with u or kiss u like he did everytime he came back from practice :(

u were always unhappy and always so moody, he just wanted u to be happy 🥺

he is so confused and worried ab u, some days ur not eating or some days u don’t even wake up in the mornings like u used to

sometimes— just sometimes he’d come back home to find u in the same spot, asleep

he’s so fucking scared when ur around seven months that he can’t hold it in anymore

“are—are you okay?” he questions u from the doorway, making u stop to look at him in the mirror

ur eyes were cold, setting down the towel u were drying ur hair with and leaving him by himself while heading into ur bedroom

“don’t you dare fucking walk away from me.”

ur s h oo k

he was really nice during the pregnancy everyday, super bubbly and kind so u were shocked to hear his upset tone

“i can and i will, i’ll just go sleep in another fuckin room.” u mumbled, changbin grabbing ur hands and turning u around to face him

u struggle for a bit while ur arguing with him and telling him to let go so u could go to sleep

“stop! i am your boyfriend, i am the only one who is going to care for you like this. i am the only one who is dying, seeing you like this. do you understand? we’ve been through seven months of this together, it was fine for awhile and now you’re fucking turning me away?”

hes shouting at this point, hes just so pissed after three months of not having answers and your attitudes and arguments, he cannot handle it

u start crying

hes quick to hold you, pulling u down to the bed so u don’t have to stand on ur tired feet anymore

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 🥺🥺🥺

he insists u two will find out n u both will get thru this rough patch together

perinatal depression, they diagnosed u

changbin is so upset when he hears the doctors tell u

everything is making sense to him and he’s just so heartbroken he didn’t put two and two together earlier

he takes time off for the time being to make sure ur taking care of urself

hes watching u like a hawk but trying not to make it evident

the first time u ask him for a kiss, he gives u dozens

he hadn't been asked for kisses in so long he was so relieved 🥺

he’s constantly telling u how beautiful u r and talking to ur bump about how they have the best genes and their uncles

this man is a father already it seems

he is ur #1 face mask partner cause he buys the cute ones only because u deserve the cute ones that r ur favorite ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

cooking together is something that happens, not often but every once in awhile he will let u do small things

cut up some lettuce? sure! pour in the soup broth? of course u can! taste test his food? always.

he wants to make sure ur comfortable with him touching u or kissing u or what hes saying

“i love you.” he’s mumbling, quickly placing a kiss against the fabric of one of his own shirts that was worn by u and fit u like a dress still

he then goes up to ur cheek n presses a kiss to it, ur hand cupping his jaw and letting him kiss ur lips >.<

also u guys let out a quiet talk of pregnancy to the public, letting jyp release a notice on changbin’s absence from live-streams and posts with the boys

u two received a lot of positive feedback which changbin let u read the positive ones n loved when u smiled at each one

u were overdue by a week which was the worst, ur back hurt and u had migraines

u also were put on bed-rest for the next week before u could be inducted

u guys waited out the week and u got scheduled for an induction

the labor was really slow which sucked because u just wanted to hold ur baby already :(

rly intimate moments like chan just holding u n rocking u like a baby

u guys are given this position to move the baby down, your knees on the ground so u could kneel against the bed and changbin would hold ur hips n rock them

he just feels so bad he can’t do anything to help u with the pain 🥺

yall kinda vibing with the hospital food (idk bout yall but some food from hospitals smack chile)

“i just want to go home.” :(

u bet ur ass he scoots into ur hospital bed, holding ur hands n u just cry into his shoulder

he feels like his heart is being torn to pieces when he listens to u cry out of pain

his free hands holds your jaw, making u look up at him

“we’re almost done baby, okay? i know it hurts, if i could i would take your pain in a heartbeat. you are incredibly strong and i’m so proud of you. you just need to hang in here for a few more hours, yeah? you think you can do that?”

u give him the weakest smile ever but its better than nothing

u reach 10cm!!!

now the part that wasn’t fun was the pushing :/

u were hurting, u were tired, and u had been promised almost seven times that all u need was one more push but no matter what, it seemed like the baby wasnt budging

“the cord is wrapped around the neck, we need you to stop pushing. okay?”

ur too tired and stopping the pushing sounded good so u did as they said but when they told u they needed to actually reach in and unwrap it ur blood ran cold

u both were worried about how much u could take

u screamed, god it hurt and it felt like hours of them twisting but it was a mere minute

the labor progressed n there it was

“a girl!”

u two are like faucets or waterfalls

shes literally the perfect mixture of u both 🥺

he washed her hair n helped wrap her up in a blanket, giving her over to u for the first time

u both were just in love with her, she was absolutely perfect

he’s obsessed with her, taking in that baby scent, the scent of the light baby shampoo and the bit of baby powder that lingered throughout her onesie

her hair wooooww its so soft n fluffy

her little baby pout and her puffy cheeks

i can see him calling her bunny for awhile as a childhood nickname

he’ll just be like

“oh that’s my bunny!!”

weird look from u but ur heart melts while he bounces her in his arms n gives her some kissies and running his fingers thru her hair

he’s also rly soft, i don’t see him singing but i see him definitely whispering to her about how she’s gonna grow up and have the best life because thats his little girl

“ur gonna have eight uncles, they are crazy but it’s okay. u definitely lucked out on fathers though, i’m pretty good at lullaby's. u did get great genes too, u have a handsome daddy and a gorgeous mommy. we worked really hard on making u, please don’t hurt ur cute little face. u also have a storm coming, there’s a thing called stays, they are gonna adore you, i promise.”

omgomgomgomg jejejejeje im blushing at the thought of this i just adore dad changbin 

u guys may or may not be planning for another but it definitely would happen in a few years

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #changbin #seo changbin #changbin x reader #skz x reader #pregnant!reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids au #skz fluff #skz angst #skz au #dad!skz #dad!stray kids #bangchan #minho #lee know #hyunjin #jisung #han #han jisung #felix #felix yongbok lee #seungmin #i.n #jeongin x reader #jeongin

[dansantat]

NOW WE ARE TWO: A Eulogy for My Father

Adam U Santat (October 21,1943 - April 27, 2021)

Today is April 27, 2021.

When I was very young and we lived in New Jersey my father took us to the beach and he lifted my tiny frame over his neck and we walked out into the ocean together. My mother watched us from the coast as we wandered 50 yards into the shallow sea. I was terrified of whatever lurked in the water convinced that sharks would come and eat us. My father gripped my legs and whispered, “I’ve got you. You don’t have to be afraid.”

I don’t exactly know why this particular memory rests so clearly in my mind, but it’s a good one. That was my father in a nutshell.

I interviewed my parents for a memoir I’m currently working on. This is what I know of my father. 

He was born in the small village of Khlong Dan, Thailand on October 21, 1943, though the official birth certificate indicates October 27 because of a typo (21 sounds like 27 in Thai)  He was the youngest of nine kids. His parents immigrated from China and started a merchant business. For fear of being racially ostracized by the local Thai people the oldest brother changed their name from “Lim” to “Santativongchai” (he found the word in an old book)

They collected rain water off the storm gutters in order to drink. He didn’t get hie first pair of shoes until he was 10 years old. They were sandals, really. Knowing facts abut Western culture was cool and he had an insatiable desire to learn everything he could about America. Coming to the United States was a dream of his obsessed with Elvis Presley, Paul Anka, and movies like “Shane” He admits to being spoiled by his mother and says he was lazy during most of his childhood, but was gifted in math and science. And he truly was. He attended medical school, paid for by his older sister, Yawanit, and he came to Newark, New Jersey in 1969 to do his internship.

My mother followed a year later

His first car was a Red ‘69 Camaro. No air conditioning. He ran the car into the ground because he was unaware of the fact that you had to change the oil. He never owned a car before then.   

This was the American dream.

I was born in 1975 and they soon made a mass exodus to Southern California along with many of their Thai doctor friends with brief career stops in Wykoff, New Jersey and Hopedale, Illinois until we settled in our newly built four bedroom home in Camarillo, CA. 

He worked for the state of California as a pediatrician, and eventually as a cardiologist, and then a psychiatrist continuing his education over the years to fill the needs of the state. He was an accomplished man in his field.

He loved golf, tennis, and buying things he would see on TV. He loved Ralph Lauren clothing, he owned one of the first Apple computers, and he loved making weekly trips to Los Angeles to buy classical CDs and audio equipment.   

Three weeks ago I stepped inside my parent’s home for the first time in over a year. The COVID-19 Pandemic had kept us apart . “Stay at home. We’ll see each other after this is all over.” my parents told me. 

Under normal circumstances I would happily avoid their company for fear of constant nagging about a plethora of reasons which mostly dealt with my weight, or my political views.   

But this was different. 

My father had been diagnosed with Stage 4 liver cancer and he returned home to hospice care. My mother was helping him get situated on his favorite couch because he refused to use the hospital bed that hospice had offered him and recommend that he use.

They say that doctors make the worst patients. 

Besides his stubbornness my mother was angry at him for not putting up a fight, turning down Chemotherapy and Immunotherapy and opting to just let the cancer take him. She herself having been a breast cancer survivor over 25 years ago (along with living with lupus for 45 years) could not comprehend the thought of just giving up. But my father knew the odds. He had taken one look at the CT scan and he knew the primary source was in the liver and it has metastasized to the lungs, his jaw, and his pelvis. 

His body was dying but his mind was still as sharp as a tack.

I understood the diagnosis, as well. When speaking to the doctor on the phone he did not mince words by emphasizing quality of life. My father’s days were limited, and I was there to make the most of the time that was left between us before he departed. 

“I have one last question for you before I go.” he said to me.

“Anything. What’s your question, Dad?”

“How much....do you earn annually?”

My mother and I quickly glanced at each other and we both immediately let out a huge laugh. “HA HA HA! You have one last question and that’s what you want to ask me?!”

He was always curious about my finances. 

He is my Asian father. 

Normally, this type of question would be a point of heated contention and it would typically result in an argument at a restaurant, and yet, here he is living his last weeks and he STILL wouldn’t let the question go. And this time, without argument, I simply tell him. 

Why deny a dying man his last wish?

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” he shouts as we all share in a good laugh.

“I have one more question...”

“What is it, Dad?”

“Why do you always get upset when I ask you that question?”

This too would have normally resulted in a heated discussion, but I simply gave him an honest and simple answer, “Because you taught me that it was rude to ask people that question.” And I left it at that.

My mother gets up and heads to the kitchen and it’s in this moment that my father pulls me in closer to discuss more pressing matters. 

“I don’t want you to worry about me. I’ve accepted my fate and I’ve lived a good life. I’m worried about your mom. I want you to take care of her after I’m gone.”

“Of course.”

“I’ve saved up a lot of money. Use it to buy a house with a guest house for her. Make sure it has a big yard so she can do her gardening and she’ll be fine.”

 “I promise, Dad. I’ll spoil her.” 

“Good.”

My mother returns to the family room with an assortment of shirts for my father to wear. I grab a blue button up collared shirt from Tommy Bahama. “This shirt actually isn’t too shabby.”

“It was originally $125 and I got it for $90!”

Always in pursuit of looking his best while also landing a great deal.

He is my Asian father.  

“If you like the shirts they’re yours now. All of this is yours.”

None of the items that my father owned interested me. What interested me was giving him one last amazing experience before he was gone. The one thing my father truly treasured among all his possessions was a one of the finest wine collections I had ever seen. It contained over 500 bottles of wines he had collected over the course of twenty years housed in three separate wine refrigerators, which were spread throughout different rooms in the house and sent their electricity bill skyrocketing to the moon, and my mother’s nerves to the very edge of insanity. 

“Hey, what do you think about going into your wine collection and we drink the most expensive wine you have?”

“No,” he says hesitantly.

“But don’t you want to know what you bought? Don’t you want to at least know what the best wine you own tastes like? I don’t think you should leave this world without enjoying your one great vice in life.”

My father looks away from me and mutters, “No...It’s yours now. All of it.”

This is not how I want it to end. I want him to have one last good memory.

My mother interrupts, “I’m hungry. What are we having for lunch?”

I try to keep my father focused on his bucket list. I’m hoping for just one last memory, “Whatever you want, Dad. My treat.”

He looks at me and says, “I want a Pink’s hot dog.”

My mother and I look at each other in shock. This request from a man who was obsessed with his blood pressure. A man who constantly avoided salt like it was Kryptonite to Superman was now requesting for one of the saltiest most nitrate rich foods in America. 

“With mustard and relish.”

25 minutes later I returned home with three sodium bombs per his request. My father, who hadn’t eaten in three days, grabbed a hold of his hot dog, and ate the entire thing. My father, a man who did everything in his power to stave off death by cardiovascular disease to the point of obsession, was indulging in the one thing he avoided like the plague. 

SALT. 

As I sat on the couch and watched him eat his hot dog I could see the look on his face as he solemnly took each bite thinking, “What was the point of being so scared for all these years?” I took solace in the fact that for the first time in my life, I saw him as a person unafraid.  

 Later that day, a few of his closest friends came over to wish him well. I met them at the front door, “Hey, do me a favor. Can you see if you can make him agree to having one last glass of wine?”

It was a good idea.

HIs friends all walked in, paid their respects, and then peppered him with little hints like, “Hey, how about one last sip of wine before you go?”

My dad finally agreed.

“That fridge has the best stuff!” my dad shouted as he pointed to the fridge closest to the door. 

I was not as knowledgable about fine wines as my dad and his friends were. That’s what Google is for.    

I reached into the back of the fridge and found a bottle of Opus One from 1995. 

This was $600 bottle of wine. It wasn’t his best but it it would do nicely.

The room let out an audible “oooooh” when I entered the room with the bottle.

His best wine glasses were brought out, we each poured a glass, and we toasted my father. We share stories about his life, he boasts to his friends about my accomplishments, and we are basking in a moment of complete harmony.

For this moment in time, I was his perfect Asian son.

He thoughtfully studied the peaks generated by the swirling of the wine on the edge of the glass

“It’s been a good life. No regrets.”

I was glad I could give him this.

This week I bought that house for my mom. I told my father this as I fulfilled his last dying wish while I held his hand.

“I’ve got you, Dad. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“I’ve got you.”

[twerkingyaowang]

hi! I hope it’s ok to ask this question here, and if not, do you know any other blog who could answer my question? so! soon I may get assessed for adhd and I know that during assessment…they also asses you for oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder, right? I believe I meet the criteria for ODD and maybe CD along with ADHD. however, I’m worried about confidentiality… when I was assessed for autism, they write a very long paper describing my symptoms and things I’ve said during the screening. (And also asked my parents and teachers questions) I’m worried to answer honestly bc im afraid of some info about me getting out.. BUT that info is require for a CD diagnosis… it’s in the criteria and I need to say it.. but I know I’ll be judged a lot for it and looked down on by the professionals and I definitely don’t want my family knowing these things.. do they usually write a paper report on things you’ve said and give it to your parents when being diagnosed with ADHD(and CD or ODD)? I will not be able to get a CD diagnosis if I don’t mention these things …. and as people know, CD can develop into ASPD.. in the criteria for ASPD, you need a history of CD…. so I’m wondering … do I NEED a CD diagnosis or can the professional and I have a talk like “yeah u definitely showed symptoms of CD so it counts even without being diagnosed” also could I ask the professionals to exclude certain info from the report and keep it to themselves and not tell y family? would they actually comply with that or go behind my back and forget ….

Oh dear i haven't personally been evaluated for ADHD so idk about that part, could anyone in the ASPD or ADHD tag help out?

but I dont think a documented CD 'diagnosis' is required, just evidence that there was CD as a minor. You can absolutely talk with the professional beforewards and ask that certain parts of the evaluation are hidden from family.

Probably begin with just asking "how confidential will this assessment be?", and then get into whether they would exclude certain parts of the results from your family, not getting into the conduct disorder/oppositional-defiant disorder stuff until after you get a feel for how much this person respects the privacy rights of minors. Unfortunately since you are a minor there is no legal guarantee but there has been a trend of letting minors have more and more autonomy in the medical field. Also be careful with mentioning stuff involving hurting yourself/others, cuz those topics will make any medical or psych professional snitch real fast.

Good luck!

#adhd #actually aspd #aspd #actuallyaspd #conduct disorder #oppositional defiant disorder

[askfallenroyalty]

mod update :V

hey ya’ll! i had a pretty tough time over the holidays... 2020 was a hell year.

i had BIG plans for this year and didn’t realize i was going to miss the actual Christmas date. (i ALWAYS update on christmas for askblogs, have for the last several years) i basically had 2 Christmases, one with mom and one with my dad, and that exhaustion + dropping out of school put me into a hugely unexpected spiral that i’m only now getting out of LOL. if you’re new here, hi. i’m sam. i have bipolar depression and very likely adhd but i can’t afford to get diagnosed. i’m having trouble coping. how r u.

cheek aside, i hope we are all doing at least a little better since the new year and hopefully the spring sunshine will help us all!

but yeah to AFR, i’m bummed i missed out on the date and couldn’t finish the arc. i had TOO much planned tbh and was speeding through it to get to the plot. the idea was that we’d learn more about Frisk’s history and their grandma. We’d have a Big Party with mettaton and Mew Mew and it’d be a HUGE event that was going to be super fun and cool to see the full cast and-!

none of that ended up happening LOL. i jumped to melodrama because i had so much planned that i couldn’t properly space it out. then because i wasn’t updating, i wasn’t getting asks (NOT that anyone’s fault but mine, making that clear rn) and to be honest...

i’ve kinda overcame some coding hurtles i’ve had with gamemaker and have been really getting into working on my fangame. i’m still Not Good yet but it’s fun and what little I do get accomplished feels amazing. with comics, and askblogs specifically, I have to keep a watchful eye on getting feedback (asks, reblogs, comments) and try to make ya’ll engaged while doing detailed and more detailed artwork in short bursts of time. which was fine back when i was more stable and wasn’t trying as hard with backgrounds, but i’m rusty and got used to detail.

i’ve been growing a distate for online comics for these last few years (comics are insanely extensive and quickly enjoyed) and i’m not... sure... how to go about this anymore...

i’ve been keeping it a secret but I’ve wanted to do the DarkWorld finale in animation. i’ve done some animatics, tried out making sprites (i even considered making a fangame for it, or a fan animation using GMS 2.3.1) but its been taking a long time and its not fair to drag it out so much lmao.

so... what do ya’ll think i should do? cause i still have this big Christmas party thing planned (but like... its too late for christmas and was too ambitious) and the DR event finale won’t be done anytime soon. should i ignore the fact that its january and still do the christmas arc with toned down art? should I just stop making comics?? should i even continue AFR? i can’t expect an actual answer from you guys. this is something i have to figure out for myself...

that said, whenever i run across chara and asriel i get hit with such a strong urge to finish this story. because the end of it, (and i’m not even saying i regret the DR event because that conveyed plot things i wouldn’t have been able to do right through just the regular story w/out the darkworld) the end of AFR is something truly emotionally important to me and has SUCH a huge emotional pay off that I have to tell. so i can’t STOP afr, and i can’t just write a fic version of it cause that’s now how this story was written/structured around.

i’m kinda lost on what to do is what i’m saying. i’ll think about it, but i honestly think maybe I should just drop the christmas stuff and put the dr thing on hold (until i guess the mainstory is done and i can focus on that badass animation i have planned). would that be ok?

also, thanks for sticking by me even when i’ve been basically Gone for months. ya’ll are the best

#long post #ooc #tbd #not art

[virghogh]

Idk if u answer random stuff about astrology but I wanna give a try…

Is there something in natal chart that can indicate ed? If u find this question inappropriate don’t answer.

That’s kinda stupid question so I am gonna ask that anonymously

Hey! Thanks for the ask, yesss I do like to answer any kind of random astrology question! Sometimes if it’s a topic I’m really interested in I’ll elaborate on it and make a whole post lol I’ve mentioned this a lot but I love exploring and theorizing in astrology. So I appreciate you expressing your curiosity and it’s not stupid! <333 But yes this is a sensitive topic and I have certain boundaries in astrology when it comes to stuff like this and I’d like to share my thoughts, so let’s explore:

CW: light mentions of mental health disorders and eating disorders

✧ For this question, I definitely understand where your curiosity is coming from! especially if you deal with eating disorders/attachments it can be helpful to understand where it’s coming from in your birth chart because sometimes our behaviors make us feel like we’re crazy. As we learn more about astrology it’s natural to wonder just how many of our little behaviors can be seen in our birth charts. But I’ll be honest, even tho I do believe we can find every little thing about ourselves in our birth chart, it doesn’t always mean we should. There are a few topics in astrology I personally am particularly sensitive with or don’t always like to talk about because it feels either inappropriate and like an invasion of someone’s private thoughts or parts of themselves. For example, I don’t always like to talk about sexual astrology.

✧ I also like to keep a boundary between real life problems and astrology. So talking about mental health and/or disorders, diagnoses etc. are all things that yes we could find clues for them, but these are very real life problems that need care and attention. spirituality and astrology have def helped me out of some deep mental spaces by making me feel like there is an ultimate purpose to everything and knowing that I have so much energy and potential, but I’ll never be someone that tries to discourage people from seeking professional or medical help. I myself have been through a lot of therapy and mental health care and support alongside my astrology practice <3

✧ Eating disorders in particular are a really sensitive topic because so many people are affected by it because of society and how we talk about body image and attractiveness. And since it’s something that’s so universally experienced, off the top of my head alone there are so many big or small placements and aspects that can contribute to body image issues that can then lead to a disorder. Also sometimes I’m cautious with this stuff because, until you’ve healed from your traumas, it can feel really invalidating to pin real life struggles and traumas on a few astrology placements.

✧ My ultimate goal with astrology is to help people understand themselves and their world, and see hidden potential so they can grow and heal. So If you’re really curious, in the hopes that you can better understand, accept and heal yourself; off the top of my head I’d say start by looking at your:

✧ moon sign and house, what planets it aspects

✧ maybe also your second house, the sign, planets in it, and where the lord is (ex: Taurus in 2nd, find Venus)

✧ you could also look at Jupiter

✨I hope this can be insightful and supportive, or offer a different perspective even though it’s not directly answering your question. There’s so much we can do with astrology and I choose to use it to heal <3 pls come to my asks anytime with any question astrology or not! ✨

#I hope this isn’t a controversial topic but whatever #I’m down to have any discussion with people on this topic cuz it’s just my perspective and opinion #and my personal boundaries as well #I have 11th placements lmfao I’ll gladly speak on things I stand by #astrology #astro community #zodiac signs #mine #answered

[cosmicmoved]

FORMAL INTRODUCTION FOR KITAHARA KOJIRO

hi, for some bizarre reason unbeknownst to even me, this muse has been like half a year in the making (actually, it’s been 5 months but that’s close enough for to still feel shame), but he’s finally here. the ““ evil ”” witch oc! witch man who does murders! whatever you want to know him as! anyway, from now on you just know him as kojiro or koj bc that’s his name <3 please look under the read more link for more info! (WARNING: the following will touch on darker themes like death, murder and, to a lesser extent, abuse. this is a heavy character so please keep that in mind if you ever wish to interact!)

BASIC FACTS

firstly, this oc is mostly connected to tsukidate sho, my witch detective oc. the connection mostly lies in the fact they’re both witches who interact with crime/murder in some capacity but their families are also close.

his name is kitahara kojiro ( 北原浩二郎 ), known as either kojiro or koji by those around him. i haven’t decided his exact birthday yet but he was born in 1990 and is approx. 31 years old. (i understand this is ‘older’ by tumblr rp standards but, by normal people standards, early 30s is still relatively young so basically, if u make old ppl jokes, i will bite u)

technically speaking, kitahara is his father’s surname but he never really knew his father and was raised by a single mother. however, his mother made the choice of raising him with his father’s name in an attempt to distance the pair from her own family. i’ll explain why that is the case in the backstory section of this post.

kojiro is a witch. he’s not involved in any broader witching community nor does his being a witch have much bearing on his professional life but he is a talented witch, despite being trained only by his mother. what he DOES use his magic for, however, is to cause a lot of problems.

oh yeah, he’s also cursed. and he kills people. because he’s cursed. again, i’ll explain this in more detail further in the post but it’s kind of an important fact. he was cursed to die at twenty years old and he’s still alive eleven years later because the only way to hold off death is to kill other people <3 omg that’s awkward

in his normal everyday life, kojiro works as a cake decorator and does photography on the side too. he’s a creative person and tbh he developed a lot of stupid hobbies in his teens, thanks to the belief he was gonna die by the end of them, so he ended up making a living out of what he liked. he also didn’t go to uni because he didn’t see the point because, again, he thought he’d be dead by 20 and then, when he wasn’t, he stopped caring.

it’s also important to note that he, uh, doesn’t give off murderer vibes at all. he’s friendly and sociable (and not in the ‘this guy’s definitely a weirdo’ way). 

i kept calling him ‘evil witch oc’ while i was working on him but, as i’ve said before, i think that’s actually a little too simple and i wouldn’t actually call him evil. he’s NOT a good person but i don’t think evil is the right word for him either. he doesn’t believe he’s a good person either but he’s learned to justify his own actions as a means of survival. kojiro doesn’t enjoy killing people, he doesn’t take any pleasure from the act of murder, but he’s also relatively calm about it too. since he doesn’t have to do it on a super regular basis, he prefers to target shitty people and esp corrupt witches in positions of authority (not really in a self-righteous way, more just because they piss him off). he has specific personal reasons for this.

he has a pretty intense fear of death. you think he’d be over it, having spent his whole life knowing he was meant to die early, but the ability to push his death back sort of flipped some switch in his head and, over the years, he went from quiet apprehension to paranoid obsession.

why is this muse 30 years old? firstly, because i want him to be. that would probably be enough but also his age actually IS important. the vibe i’m going for with this muse is, as i’ve said like once before, is what happens to the hero of the story after they complete their quest? what if that quest doesn’t go as planned? kojiro’s quest was to hunt down the demon associated with his curse. that’s his original ‘story’. what i want to explore here is the aftermath of that, what happens after the weight of the quest comes crashing down on the hero and they return to normal, everyday life where they’re forced to shoulder it as though it’s nothing. a decade after his initial story, he’s worn out. he’s not the same person he was at the start.

BACKSTORY

this isn’t going to be written in a super formal or tidy way because i honestly just can’t be bothered turning this into a proper piece of decent writing. this is only going to be in paragraph form because i don’t like putting backstories into bullet points unless it’s super brief.

kojiro was born in 1990 as the first (and only) child of his unmarried mother (as yet unnamed) when she was just nineteen years old. she was raised in a strict and traditional witching family so the fact that she’d had this child out of wedlock AND that the father wasn’t a witch didn’t exactly land well. regardless, they let her stay in the family home but it would soon turn out that the child was cursed. according to a member of tsukidate family (i.e; sho’s family who, as i said before, are on good terms with kojiro’s family and who are also knowledgeable in the realm of curses), the curse determined that the child would die on the day of his twentieth birthday unless he was able to kill the demon associated with the curse.

as if the judgement from her own family wasn’t enough, the curse brought with it a lot of stigma from the witching community and so his mother made the decision to leave home by herself when kojiro was a year old. all she could afford was a small, one bedroom apartment but, so long as she and her son had a roof over their heads, anything was good enough. kojiro would live a relatively normal life, going to school with other children his age and away from other witches, but his mother would teach him what she knew. although she wanted to him to live as easily as possible, she felt she had to prepare him for his inevitable encounter with the demon. kojiro grew up knowing about the curse too. there was no way to keep it a secret --- even if weren’t cruel to hide it from him, the curse had left a visible mark on him (still working out the details of what this looks like and where on his body it is but it basically looks like a tattoo to most people).

when kojiro turns eighteen, he decides he’s old enough to face this demon and claim control of his own life (maybe i’ll write this as an actual drabble / piece of writing one day bc i’m reeeally brushing over it here). it had been trapped by his family and forced to lie dormant until kojiro would arrive to take it down. what the demon reveals to him, however, changes everything. there is no cure to this curse, the demon tells him, everything he was told is a lie. the curse, it turns out, has tied the demon to him and the only way to kill the demon is for kojiro to die along with it. the reveal is this: when kojiro born, they took him from his mother for a short time. i want to emphasise that her family are pretty shitty people because they decided this would be the perfect opportunity both to punish her and to solve a very specific problem -- getting rid of this demon. the same member of the tsukidate who ‘diagnosed’ the curse was the one who put it on kojiro. i’ll explain the actual curse and story behind it (and the demon) in more detail at a later date but the basic gist of it is that kojiro’s family lied to him and used him as a disposable means to an end. his mother, for the record, was entirely unaware of this. but what else does the demon tell him? although the curse cannot be lifted, it can be held off. this demon thrives off death and, through death, it can stay strong and continue to keep kojiro alive. if it grows weak and it is not sustained, kojiro will grow weak along with it and inevitably die. kojiro informs the demon that he will not kill anybody. that is out of the question.

a month before his twentieth birthday, kojiro kills a man. he had tried to forget about everything the demon had said, tried to forget that his own family had set him up for guaranteed destruction, but it hadn’t been easy. it had set him on edge and he’d become unstable. he’d fallen into a slump and his friends grew worried for him. yet, after a while, he came to accept it and tried to make peace with his life as it was. he put it to the back of his mind as best he could. but he’d discovered that the man his mother had been seeing over the past few years since he’d moved out to live on his own was abusive. so he killed him. everything the demon had told him risen to the surface and he’d asked himself does it matter if this guy dies instead of me? after all, kojiro was curious. he didn’t really want to die and he had wondered if the demon was telling the truth. to this day, kojiro doesn’t know what to believe but it’s much too late for all that now. he followed his mother’s boyfriend home and broke his neck in a dark alleyway. thanks to the magic he’d been taught growing up, he was able to ensure that nobody every traced him to the accident and, when the clock struck midnight on his twentieth birthday, kojiro broke down crying with relief.

he wasn’t dead. he still isn’t dead. he’d never wanted to die. over the years, the killing has gotten a lot easier. over the years, the answer to that question comes much quicker; if somebody has to die, why should it be me?

#« 𝐍𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 (ᴋᴏᴊɪʀᴏ) » / 「 headcanon. 」 #blood // #FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #anyway this might.....idk this might suck i literally cannot tell #i can't write shit w/horror elements bc i'm like 'oooh nooo what if ppl think i'm being Edgy' #but backstory and murder aside....he really isn't an edgy character #the lore also needs work but i'll talk about that in more detail later #this post is literally long enough as is

[wizardnuke]

I think I might have ADHD and from what research I've done I fit most (around 75%) of the criteria, but I don't want to be totally wrong about it so I was wondering if you would be alright telling me when you knew you had ADHD or overarching things/behaviors that people who have ADHD tend to do? Sorry if it's a bad question.

bad questions don't exist my guy! they Are Not Real! so by default this is a good question and I will try to answer coherently. this is not going to be coherent or concise, I am sorry

you don't have to match every single symptom! I'm probably about 75% there too because I'm not hyperactive- not in the way that people think it means, I'm not energetic but hyperactivity is sensory-seeking which I'll elaborate on

1. I say this with an incredible amount of love in my heart, rambling and maybe not getting to the point quickly when you're talking bc u want to add as much detail as possible in order to get ur point across clearly is an ADHD thing and this ask (and my response) is a lovely example of that

2. worrying that you're wrong about it is also very much an ADHD thing because we get really anxious about being laughed at for being wrong about things (google RSD for more info on that) and or because of that we have trouble talking about our issues to people who could impact them in any way, aka a doctor that's diagnosing you

3. I was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive type (ADD) when I was 13 and I don't particularly remember being 13 or any younger than that jdjfjfjf, my mom is also ADHD-i and she recognized the symptoms!

but uh some assorted ADHD things that I do or see others do that aren't really included in symptom lists are:

- having a bad sleep schedule (like falling asleep at 2am and waking up at 12) bc our circadian rhythm is different. doesn't necessarily mean u wake up a lot when you sleep because I sleep like the dead,, once I manage to fall asleep which takes hours more than it does for nts

- seeing patterns in things that there aren't always actual patterns in. I don't know why this is a thing that ADHD (and autistic!) people do but it seems to be widespread. personally I have an emotional attachment to the fibonacci sequence and I really love music theory bc. patterns.

- gifted kid burnout. I'm 100% serious. it's often, not always but often, an ADHD thing

- ADHD people are disorganized because it's hard to prioritize things. should I put my clothes in the hamper or should I bring the dishes to the kitchen or should I text my friend or should I check my email or- etc.

- constant overwhelm

- trouble with social skills other than interrupting/impatience, I have trouble discerning tone both online and irl so I take things too literally, which is commonly seen as something that only happens to people with autism but I'm hmm most likely not autistic.

- this isn't an example but I think about the "I was diagnosed with ADHD which means my doctor said hey you have autism lite and you should microdose meth" tweet every single day and it never stops sending me

- neurotypical people DO NOT have hyperfixations and they don't hyperfocus. they literally do not. I don't care if an nt says that they do. it means that they're autistic/ADHD. NTs have hobbies and interests and jobs. NDs get overtaken by their interests and sometimes it's difficult for us to focus on other things because of it

- it's comorbid (exists alongside/is impacted by/causes) with a lot of other disorders/mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, PTSD (I mean that ADHD causes PTSD), dyslexia, dyscalculia, audio processing disorder, etc

SENSORY STUFF BECAUSE IT DESERVES ITS OWN SECTION:

sensory issues

- not liking textures, light being too bright, sounds being jumbled together and hard to discern.

- some people with ADHD also have audio processing disorder, which makes it hard for them to understand verbal speech quickly. ppl talk to me and it feels like I have to buffer for 10 seconds before I can understand them

sensory-seeking behavior.

- this includes the Leg Bounce™, other physical motions that you might do which ranges from wiggling around to pacing to cracking your knuckles a lot, echolalia (saying something repeatedly bc uhh its fun), etc. those are all types of stimming, which autistic people (and neurotypical ppl but less so for reasons I'll elaborate on in a second) also do.

this is because ADHD is caused by low dopamine, one of the happy chemicals, and it's harder for us to feel content by literally everything because our brains require a level of activity that they aren't getting because they.. have low dopamine. so stimming gives us more of the sensory input that we need.

- did u know that nt people actually feel satisfied after doing daily chores like laundry and doing the dishes because apparently they do and I got so jealous about that that I almost cried

- this is also why adhd people are "impulsive" or whatever the fuck they say that we are. it's a need for More Stimulation that we don't get unless we work for it in ways that nt people find inconvienent lmao

- so addiction, and by that I mean substance abuse, is something that adhd people are very susceptible to because it makes brain go brrrrrr

- and not addiction, and it makes me mad when people call it that, are behaviors like getting stuck playing games/scrolling social media (which I am very very very guilty of to a painful degree but I literally,, it makes brain go brrr okay), talking aloud, getting upset by monotony, etc.

and this is what we call an infodump

I don't think that a lot of NT people mistake themselves as ADHD. I don't think that self diagnosing is a bad thing to do. if the coping methods and the community help you then you're valid, even if the doctor says that you aren't adhd. doctors can be wrong.

#ask #anon #hope this made sense hope it helped #long post