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whumpybucky · 1 year

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A little while ago @softersteve mentioned how there is so little sick Steve content and that it made her sad. I felt like that needed to be fixed so this is for her.

3.5K of an idiots-in-love grad school AU with Steve being so sick with a head cold and so sad pining over his best friend, Bucky, who is so soft for him and also pining. There’s a happy ending I promise.

“Hel–” Steve had to break his greeting to clear his throat, which turned into a rough cough. He winced, half with pain from the lingering ache in his tonsils, half from embarrassment. “Sorry, hey, Buck.”

“Well, now I know why you’ve stood me up for the first time ever. How’ya feeling?”

Steve closed his eyes and rolled back onto the pillows he had been dozing on for the past two days. His brow was furrowed as he rubbed his palm across it.

“I’mb fide,” he replied, cringing at the rounded consonants. “Is it Thursday? Gosh I’mb really sorry—snf SNFF! Coulda sworn it was Wednesday…” Steve trailed off, the statement directed more to himself than his friend.

He and Bucky always met up on Thursdays during the break before his weekly seminar and Bucky’s TA office hours. They started the recurring date (though Steve had to constantly remind himself it wasn’t an actual date) at the beginning of the semester. Thursdays quickly became Steve’s favourite day of the week.

His head immediately filled with the image of Bucky sitting at their favourite loveseat, two steaming mugs of tea on the coffee table in front of him, getting lost in people watching as folks hurried past the café, bundled up in wool and scarves and toques. Handsome, brunette Bucky, alone and waiting for Steve to show up.

His chest tightened with guilt for standing his best friend up. And a longing seeped between his ribs at missing out on their time together.

“Sorry, pal, but it’s definitely Thursday. Jeez, why didn’t you tell me you were this sick, Stevie?”

Steve’s heart clenched at his friend’s concern and the nickname. “It’s ju-huh–SNFF! Just a cold, Buck.” He grabbed a handful of fresh tissues and pressed them to his nose, hoping to quell the buzzing in his sinuses.

“A cold that I gave you, so I know for a fact that it’s a bad one. How ‘bout I bring our tea date to you?”

Steve could feel the tingling intensify, it was a losing battle. “H-hold on Bu-huh!… HUH’shiew! EHShhh! HUUHTSCHOO!”

The triplet fell out of him before he even had time to cover his mouth fully with the tissues. Instead, he made the most futile attempt at directing the increasingly strong sneezes away from the phone. After catching his breath, Steve blew his nose a few times before returning his focus back to the conversation—though the action brought little relief and only seemed to move the congestion around his sinuses.

“Guh, sorry, that mbust have sounded gross.”

“Poor Stevie. Don’t apologize, you don’t sound gross, you sound so sick. Speaking of which, what tea do you want me to bring you?”

Steve almost whined at how sweet Bucky was being, acting as if he wasn’t completely disgusted by what a mess he obviously was.

“Really, you don’t need to come over, Buck– snff SNFFF! –I’mb just going to sniffle and sneeze and cough at you and then probably end up falling asleep. Again.”

Steve cleared his throat which immediately turned into another dry, weak cough, as if his body was trying to help him prove his point. He heard Bucky sigh through the receiver and his chest tightened more.

“Just like I did with you last weekend. Remember last weekend? When you came over and watched movies with me and took care of me for two days straight? Seriously, Steven–” another sigh, “I feel so bad for getting you sick. Let me at least bring you tea. Or soup? Or maybe that natural apple juice I always tease you for still liking?”

The soft pleading in Bucky’s voice nearly pushed Steve over the edge.

The love he felt for his best friend since high school had become a challenge to suppress on the best of days. But now that he was on day three of the worst cold he’d had in ages, probably running a low grade fever, and feeling absolutely miserable? Well, it was too much for the blonde grad student to bear.

Why did Bucky have to be so nice? So caring? So sensitive? So thoughtful?

In that moment of pure and utter weakness, Steve was grateful Bucky had phoned him instead of a video call. Otherwise he would have had a difficult time explaining the stream of tears suddenly making a path down his flushed cheeks.

He sniffled into the ball of tissues he was still holding before responding. “I…sn-snffff… I’ll be fide, Buck. Really. Y-you don’t n-need SNF! don’t need to...”

Steve’s breath was hitching as he tried to quell the threatening sob bubbling in his throat. He hoped to the powers that be that it sounded as if he was about to sneeze rather than burst into tears.

“But I want to,” Bucky insisted. Soft, quiet, with a timbre of sadness.

Bucky’s admission hung between them as Steve sniffled into his crumpled tissues and, for a fleeting instance of relief, calmed the ache in his chest that wasn’t from his cold.

Maybe he could try to get off the couch and clean himself up a bit. Maybe take a shower. Tidy up the mound of tissues he had accumulated over the past few days that now surrounded his nest of blankets. Maybe he could give in to being taken care of by his best friend. Maybe he could let himself have that.

But a final sigh from Bucky broke the pause.

“Look, I don’t want to push you, especially when you’re not feeling good. But please text or call me if you need something. Anything. Promise?”

Dammit.

“I promise,” Steve replied, his congested voice weighted with defeat.

“I’ll call to check on you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Get some rest, Stevie.”

“Thangks, Buck.”

Steve pressed the end call button just as the dam burst.

He knew crying was only going to worsen his symptoms but he couldn’t hold it in any longer. The stress of nearing the end of term. The pending holidays. Being in love with his best friend who he was certain didn’t love him like that. It becoming increasingly harder to be around said best friend because of said unreciprocated feelings.

Throw in a horrendous cold with a persistent low grade fever and Steve found himself smack in the middle of the perfect storm for a total and utter emotional meltdown.

He sobbed and sniffled his way through the remainder of the last box of tissues he had, having to reuse the balls around him until the skin around his nostrils was so irritated and his cheekbones and forehead were so sore from the combination of congestion and crying and fever that he simply fell asleep with a fist of used Kleenex pressed against his nose.

__________

Bucky dragged his feet into his shared office with his fellow TA, Natasha. The two had met during their undergrad, while Steve was out of state on scholarship. They became fast friends, almost like siblings, eventually getting an apartment together just off campus.

It hadn’t taken long for Natasha to put two and two together about Bucky’s feelings for Steve. And if there had been any doubt, it was dispelled during second year when Natasha watched him plummet into a deep depression when Steve told him about a brief fling he had with a cute engineering student named Tony.

When Steve moved back home and started grad school at the same university as them, Natasha had warned Bucky that she wasn’t going to spend grad school watching him pine over his best friend. Three terms in and that’s exactly what she was doing.

“I can feel you moping from here, Barnes,” the redhead murmured without looking up from her laptop. “Did loverboy cancel your tea date?”

Bucky’s brow crinkled as he removed his jacket and shoulder bag, the faded royal blue canvas one that Steve had bought him last Christmas that was becoming worn in all the right places. He slumped into his chair with a huff.

“I told you not to call him that. You’re going to let it slip one day when he’s around.”

“Would that be the worst thing?” Natasha smirked over the screen of her laptop.

Bucky sighed into his hands, rubbing his face in frustration.

“We talked about this. No meddling. Besides, he didn’t cancel…” Bucky’s hands dropped to his lap as he shifted his gaze to the small window of their office. Students bundled up, crossing the quad. A faint flurry swirling around them. “He didn’t show up,” Bucky mumbled.

That made the redhead finally give Bucky her full attention. “James, I’m sure there—”

“He’s super sick,” Bucky cut her off, turning towards his roommate to meet her gaze. “He didn’t even know what day it was, Tash.” His blue eyes were a sea of worry as he subconsciously rubbed his hands up and down his jean clad thighs.

Bucky flinched at the sound of Natasha’s laptop slamming shut. The smile on her face at least told Bucky he wasn’t in for one of her I’m done with your lovesick pining lectures.

“So you’re here because why, exactly?”

“He kept saying I didn’t need to go over. I didn’t want to push him…” Bucky suddenly felt like a scolded child and his head dropped into his hands again.

“Jamie, roomie, bestie. We’ve been over this.”

“I knoooow,” he moaned, looking back up at his friend. “But what if—”

“Nope, not doing this again. He’s literally sick because he doted on you all weekend long.”

“He’d do that for anyone.”

“Not a chance. Remember that summer when we were all at the cabin and Tony, Sam, and I all got some stomach bug that somehow evaded you two?”

Bucky nodded.

“He wouldn’t even come near us and made you two sleep in a tent outside because he didn’t want to risk ruining your vacation.” Natasha emphasized the last part with her best impression of Steve’s concerned voice.

Bucky stared blankly at her, a faint blush stroke appearing across his cheeks.

“You like him, he likes you, stop stalling and go take care of the poor guy,” she directed, opening her laptop again.

Bucky could have sworn he saw an eye roll. He sat still for a moment, processing everything Natasha had just told him. Then he shook his head. “But office hours. I have—”

“I’m merging them into my schedule as we speak. Go, before I change my mind.”

This was it then. In one fluid motion, Bucky jumped up from his chair, hopped over to Natasha’s desk and pressed a chaste kiss to the top of her head—which she batted away—then turned and scooped up his jacket and bag as he rushed towards their door. He paused for an instant, free hand on the knob.

“Thanks, Tash. Really.”

“Go get the guy, Barnes” she smiled, a rare moment of softness shining through her normally surly exterior.

Bucky didn’t have to be told twice. He nodded once before turning on his heel and out of their shared office.

__________

Steve was suspended between sleep and waking. He was vaguely aware of the dull ache in his head and sinuses, the scratch in his throat. But there was also something soothing. A gentle touch running through his hair. A soft voice, luring him to reality.

Was he dreaming?

A dry cough that only seemed to irritate his throat more pulled him fully awake. Then the voice.

“Hey Stevie. Sorry to wake you, but I think you might need some meds.”

Definitely not dreaming then.

Steve’s eyes fluttered open as he finished coughing into the ball of tissues he had fallen asleep holding. Everything still felt delayed.

“Hey Buck,” he croaked out. Though as soon as the greeting left his lips, his eyes widened as his brain finally caught up to the fact of his friend’s presence.

Bucky. Was here. In his apartment. Sitting on the chaise part of the couch Steve had fallen asleep on after his sob fest over his unrequited love. The best friend who was carding fingers through his probably very greasy hair. The best friend who was looking down at him with the most heartwarming expression, despite being surrounded by clusters of Steve's used tissues.

“Oh mby god, Buck!” Steve sputtered as he pushed himself up into a half sitting half leaning position, trying to put distance between them in hopes that Bucky hadn’t fully registered just how disgusting he must look at this moment. The movement caused a sudden shift in congestion and he felt his sinuses start to tingle. He pressed the tattered ball of tissues into his chapped nostrils.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Bucky offered, his hand falling back down to his lap.

“Snf SNF! What are you doing here?” The question came out more as a whine.

“You’re sick, I’m here to take care of you.” Bucky reinforced the matter of fact statement by holding up a canvas shopping bag that Steve hadn’t noticed until now. He then dropped the bag on his lap and started sorting through it as he continued, “Brought you some meds, the ones left over from what you brought me last weekend. The tea you always order when you’re feeling low. That raspberry oat muffin you like so much. A jug of apple juice. Soup. And some tissues—the soft ones you never buy yourself—which it looks like you need,” he finished, not unkindly, as he lifted his head up and noticed Steve’s fluttering eyes.

“Y-you didn’t ha-ha… hngxxt! Hngsht! Hngxxxsshh!”

Bucky quickly fished out the new box of tissues he had brought. “Don’t stifle, you know that just makes you sneeze more. Here,” he instructed as he pressed a handful into Steve’s palm.

Steve nodded in gratitude, eyes closing as he descended into another fit.

“Hshhmmpfff! Hngtshhh! Eishh! Tishh, tshh, ISHH!” His breath was suspended, hitching desperately as he finally brought the fresh tissues to his face. He dropped the used ball he had been holding and cupped both hands around his face just in time.

“HUH… HUUUH’HURRSSHOOOOO!” The last sneeze took him over so completely that Steve slumped sideways into the back of the couch in defeat. He muttered an “oh mby god,” before blowing his nose several times, giving up on trying to protect his friend from the grossness that was his body at this point.

“Jesus, Steve. Bless you, like ten times over.”

“Don’t have to keep count,” Steve huffed between nose blows.

Bucky chuckled at his friend’s annoyance. But he didn’t hesitate to continue his caretaking, leaning in to brush away the hair that had fallen into Steve’s face during the fit. Though upon making contact, his brow furrowed and he placed his palm across the blonde’s forehead once he had successfully pushed the hair back.

“Definitely feels like you're running a little temperature there. When was the last time you took something?” His inquiry was laden with concern.

Steve was done putting up defenses and leaned into the cool touch. Then he sniffled and coughed feebly into the now crumpled tissues before finally dropping his hands into his lap. He blinked at Bucky, simultaneously trying to recall the last time he took something and still reeling from the fit.

“Snf! Don’t know… mbabey yesterday? Or the day before?” His voice dropped and his eyes went down to his lap before adding, “I ran out.”

Bucky sighed. “What about the last time you ate something?”

Guilt flashed across Steve’s face as he looked up again. “Last night I think.”

Another sigh left Bucky’s mouth. He hesitated, but only for a moment, before moving his palm to cup Steve’s rose flushed cheek. Then he responded, barely above a whisper, “You should have called me.”

Steve returned the sigh. “Didn’t want to bother you.”

“You could never be a bother, sweetheart. You’re my guy.”

Sweetheart? My guy? Maybe he was dreaming.

An unexpected sneeze surfaced out of nowhere, forcing him to pull away from Bucky’s touch and turn his mouth into the couch cushions.

“Snf! Sorry, snfffff!”

“Nothin’ to apologize for. I should be apologizing to you, since I’m the reason you’re so sick.”

Oh, so that’s why he was here. Steve’s heart sank.

“Don’t need to feel guilty, Buck. Would’ve happened eventually. SNF! You don’t need to do this.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? I want to.”

Even though he had a low grade fever, mixed with the low blood sugar and the grogginess of being couch ridden the past two days, it was his friend’s soft words and touches that seemed to squash every insecurity he had that was making his head spin.

Surely he was reading this wrong. Bucky was just here ‘cause he’s a good guy.

“But… but I’mb so gross right now. I’mb sure you have better things to do.” Steve brought the fresh tissues that Bucky had placed into his hand after that last sneeze up to his nose, hiding behind them.

“Like what?”

Steve sniffled, nerves delaying him from voicing what was running through his head. “I dunno… going on a date or something?”

Bucky balked at that, a look of genuine offense rippling across his face before his features softened once again.

“And who would I go on a date with?” he pressed. He really wasn’t going to let Steve win this one.

The gears turned as Steve tried to figure out a way out of this hole of a conversation he had dug himself into. “What about that guy Clint? From your first year lecture. You two went out a few times, no?” He asked sheepishly, still hiding behind the tissues.

“Oh, you mean the guy that confirmed that I only have room for one hot blonde in my life?” Bucky’s smile was unfaltering, if not slightly mischievous.

Steve shook his head, unsure if he heard his friend correctly. The action must have bothered his stuffy sinuses because a triplet burst out of him before he even had time to register it was coming.

“Huh’shmmph! EISHhhhh! HURSSHHIEW!” He blew his nose before finally letting the tissues drop. “God, this cold! This is the worst.”

He knew his complaining was allowing him to avoid the elephant in the room, but he couldn’t go there. He couldn’t bear it if he was interpreting this all wrong.

“I dunno… might not be all bad.”

Steve scoffed.

“I mean, I’m here aren’t I?” Bucky asked softly, brushing a thumb across Steve’s warm cheek.

The blonde’s breath hitched at the intimate touch. “Buck,” he whispered.

“Steven,” Bucky answered, sounding so sure of himself.

“I… I don’t understand.”

Could it be?

“Sure you do, Stevie. I want to take care of you. And not just now, but… always. If that’s what you want.”

Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Tears pooled at the corner of his already red and puffy eyes. “Buck… I…”

“I know, sweetheart. Trust me, I know.”

“How… how long?”

“A long time. Too long,” Bucky admitted. He let his hand drop, but Steve caught it mid air. A heavy pause hung between them as they searched each others’ eyes for a sign. Anything that might show uncertainty. Neither of them found one.

Steve’s heart was pounding so hard he was sure it would break through his ribcage and out of his chest at any moment. He finally broke the silence.

“I want that. You have no idea how much I want that.”

The relief that flooded Bucky’s face was palpable. “And you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.” He clasped both hands around Steve’s.

“God, if it wasn’t for this cold I’d—”

Steve was cut off by Bucky’s lips crashing into his. They were soft, tender, warm. They kissed him slowly, hesitant at first, but then assured and strong without being forceful. It was just like Steve had imagined in early morning hours in bed, only infinitely better. It made his stomach flutter and warmth pool in his abdomen.

“Could get used to that,” Bucky whispered into Steve’s lips before breaking the kiss to allow his congested friend to catch his breath.

“That was…” Steve couldn’t find the right words.

“Yeah, it was.”

Before he could stop himself, Steve turned his entire body and wrapped his arms around Bucky, pulling him so that they were both leaning against the couch. He pressed his head into Bucky’s chest and sniffled wetly, overcome by the emotions of it all.

Bucky melted into the embrace, his arms wrapping tightly around Steve, one hand rubbing his back while the other gently stroked the nape of his neck. “My poor sick guy.”

They sat in quiet for a long while, holding each other, reveling in one another’s warmth.

It was Bucky that finally broke their silence, after leaning down to press his lips into Steve’s forehead and feeling the warmth still radiating.

“Babydoll, you need meds.”

“Hmmm, like those names,” Steve mumbled into Bucky’s sweater.

Bucky chuckled. “Yeah? Good. But seriously, let me go for just a sec so I can get you some water and something to eat with it.”

Steve only tightened his grip. “Five mbore mbinutes, Buck.”

Bucky sighed contentedly into the firm embrace. “‘Kay, Stevie, five more minutes. Then meds.”

“Deal,” Steve agreed, before adding, “Just got you. Not ready to let go yet.”

Bucky readjusted his arms as tight as he could around Steve. “You’ve always had me, sweetheart. And always will, for as long as you want me.”

#s/tucky #s/tucky sickfic #sick s/teve #protective b/ucky #idiots in love #mutual pining #m/c/u #sickfic #i love them so much #bucky is so soft for him #i hope you liked it #softersteve 💙#hurt/comfort #whump #so much whump #fever

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