Soundless Gasps in Given and TGCF
Warning: MAJOR TGCF spoilers (ch 241) and Given (ch 26) Spoilers
Thinking about Given and Ugetsu suddenly feeling the immense emptiness of losing Akihiko that is then replaced by the calm of finally being able to let go and free himself from the chrysalis 🦋 .
TGCF and Xielian suddenly feeling the immense emptiness of losing HC that is then replaced by the calm of believing that he will be back as the butterflies 🦋 dissipate.
Art by xualwqy
Art by @lollimena
Soundless gasps.... one is losing someone but they are at least alive in this world and breaking free from toxicity and the other is knowing someone will be back but it could be 1 year or 800 years and one must hold onto that faith day by day.
In either scenario, I think I would go feral.
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So I just read the last chapter of Given and
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT MY ONCE EVERY 2 MONTH MENTAL BREAKDOWNS NOW!!?? I've been following Given since my second year of highschool I can't move on it's literally a part of my soul!
I'm gonna be spending the next 5 days listening to Fuyu No Hanashi and Yoru Ga Akeru on loop and cry
Ok ok but that ending
FUCK YEAH!!! UENOYAMA MY BOY YOUR TIME HAS COME!!!
God I hope there's an epilogue with a time skip just to see them again please it's crucial to my mental health and stability
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Ugetsu Murata ❤️
Everytime I watch the anime and movie, I always feel like I wanted to protect Ugetsu. He's the type of person that really needs a long long hug. Like a precious little baby that needs someone to protect and take care of him. Am I wrong about this?
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@sillyfanturtle, sorry for the delay but I finally got around to answering the second question you had in your ask!
THE "TRIGGER" TO EVOLVE:
Kizu I think specifically kept in ambiguous so that the reader can read it in many different ways so here I am just presenting my interpretation. Let's talk about Ugetsu for a hot second. In retrospect, every jab like "show me music that's worth listening to" is actually Ugetsu's own way of trying to trigger Akihiko to love music and MAKE music wholeheartedly again. Ugetsu puts himself on a pedestal to hopefully ignite the fire within Akihiko. But it's actually been causing the opposite effect on Akihiko, the hurtful words and actions chipping away at his self-esteem and confidence in music. But Ugetsu doesn't seem to realise that...
Then, it was at that first performance that Ugetsu saw how Mafuyu and himself are similar, he strongly believed that they were musical genius-types who use music as a form of emotional outlet.
So in Ch 13, Ugetsu thought that he can also be the trigger for Mafuyu to not only use music as an emotional outlet, but to truly love and create music.
The "he" Ugetsu is referring to here is I believe Mafuyu. He is thinking, I, a successful musician, can be both Akihiko and Mafuyu's triggers to fall in love with music and create music wholeheartedly. Ugetsu at this point in the story means well but his approach is quite ego-centric; which is to have people be consistently in awe of you or put yourself on a pedestal.
Now i want to defend Ugetsu for a tangent, Ugetsu has been conditioned to think that loneliness and genius is tied. He grew up lonely, then when he found music, other people only ever saw him as a genius including Akihiko, which further alienated him from people. Society has attributed his self-worth akin to that of a musical genius, so that's all he has ever known, that's the only language he knows to show others that he cares.
Hence Ugetsu invites Mafuyu to his concert. And it works! (to a degree) Mafuyu, in awe of Ugetsu, says, "Akihiko, I want to make music".
---
Then we come to Ch 26. Where Akihiko has a huge fight with Ugetsu when he mentions he wants to move out, then the moment Akihiko sees Haruki, he says, "it's good to be home". Now this is very important. While Haruki doesn't actively do anything like Ugetsu to trigger Akihiko, Haruki was the one was founded the band and indirectly created a HOME for all the members of Given, including Akihiko.
Then Ch 27, Akihiko was just about to spiral when Haruki bonked him on the head to snap him out of it.
REMEMBER, Ugetsu is there, Ugetsu sees all this.
Later, Akihiko says, "When did I start hating music? Even though I once loved it so much, even though I once remember shivering in awe like I am right now, the first time I heard Ugetsu play...That's right...I love music".
Same chapter, a realisation dawns on Ugetsu.
He himself is not the trigger. Haruki is. He doesn't know quite what Haruki has done, but he could see over the past few months that Akihiko isn't latched onto him anymore, Akihiko is finding the confidence to leave him, to evolve, because Akihiko has finally recognised Haruki as a place to come home to.
Given implicitly demonstrates that the trigger to get someone to commit to music wholeheartedly isn't to create distance between yourself and them but putting yourself above them, but to create a HOME, a safe space with love and support. Loneliness and genius isn't inherently tied, but love and music is.
(this is all implied) Mafuyu was able to accurately capture his own emotions as well as Akihiko and Ugetsu's emotions in Yoru Ga Akeru because he had Haruki, as the bass, the foundation of the band supporting him to do so (and Uenoyama guiding him). Mafuyu becomes more daring and confident on stage because of his new found family of the Given band.
The fact that Akihiko realises he love music is because Haruki and Given is a home he can go to.
I hope I answered your question!
My Given Metas
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Thinking about the tragedy of Akihiko x Ugetsu. I know he was kind of the "drama ship" or whatever in the fandom who wanted Ugetsu out of the way and for Akihiko and Haruki to just get together already. But I think that relationship was really central to the main theme of the show, which is that you can love different people in different ways, similarly that one kind of love while important to you can be unhealthy for you.
The main example in the snow is Yuki and Mafuyu who loved each other so much, but it was also a kind of unhealthy codependent love where neither knew what to do without one another, they were their entire worlds and didn't know how to cope with the emotional disconnect of their fight. Yuki thought Mafuyu should understand why he didn't want him in the band and Mafuyu didn't understand why Yuki didn't want him. In every other instance, they were borderline telepathic. That love was important and it was valid, it made them who they were, but it also wasn't healthy which is part of why it crashed and burned.
We rehash this with Akihiko and Ugetsu. Aki was drawn to Ugetsu, he was this incredible beautiful talented fairy, being around all that talent was addicting. He really loved Ugetsu I think, aside from just the drug-like nature of being around someone amazing, he kept trying to make the relationship work functionally. But, it was an Icarus kind of love because it made Aki feel inadequate. It made him feel like he wasn't doing enough and that maybe if he practiced harder he could do better. When Ugetsu got caught up in the music it made him question if Ugetsu really cared about him. Their different musical talents created a different kind of power differential that you might see otherwise in significant age gaps where one keeps wondering if they matter enough, (good enough, are loved enough, offer enough to the relationship, etc) and the other is largely unaffected until it blows up. Ugetsu knew it wasn't working but also didn't possess the ability to talk it out and figure out how to make it work because his whole world revolved around music, everything else couldn't compare. Again this isn't a "bad" love, when it started it was really beautiful and they were both really happy. But I think it's best demonstrated by the quote "We all want to be loved by someone in a way that makes sense to us" and they weren't able to love in a way that met the long-term needs of one another. They both loved each other but there was an emotional disconnect like when you love someone who likes to be hugged and you keep giving them presents because you like gifts and hate to be touched and they keep hugging you and you hate it. POINT BEING, THE LOVE WAS THERE, IT DIDN'T HELP ANYTHING, IT ACTUALLY HURT MORE THAN ANYTHING, BUT IT WAS THERE, AND THAT'S THE PART THAT MATTERS.
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In honour of the new chapter, here are some songs by Car Seat Headrest that remind me of the Given ships.
Ritsuka and Mafuyu: Bodys - Twin Fantasy (Face to Face)
Haruki and Akihiko: Jerks - Nervous Young Man
Mafuyu and Yuki: Famous Prophets (Minds) - Twin Fantasy (Mirror to Mirror)
Hiiragi and Shizu: Foreign Song - 3
Akihiko and Ugetsu: Sober to Death - Twin Fantasy
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Now I'm holding my face in the basement
Scratching away for any trace
Of affection you will leave
Falling victim to the public's prey…
Well I won't hold on, no I can't hold on, I won't hold on to this
Anyone is suitable for you I guess tonight // Anyone is suitable for you I guess // You weren't fazed // It's over with // You, my beautiful
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