#ugh and i have therapy tomorrow and i'm just so exhausted

[admiringlove]

[21:15]

.

.

.

"ugh, what is that smell?" you groan, scrunching up your nose as you open your front door and head inside. it's been a long day at work, and all you were looking forward to was a relaxing takeout meal and some much needed alcohol. you cover your nose with a handkerchief as you walk into the kitchen. and see hinata shōyō throw a pan into the sink.

"did you see that?" he asks meekly. your eyes soften, but a teasing smirk takes over your lips as you lean against the wall and cross your arms over your chest, "see what?"

he's turning the faucet on as he says, "i wanted to make you dinner. i even called omi-kun for help. then i went to the living room to watch highlights of the old game between the ejp raijin and the sendai frogs because atsumu said we should use one of their techniques in the next season so i got all excited. then i smelled something burning."

you let out a breathy chuckle as you walk up to him, wrapping your arms around his torso as you close your eyes. then, you mumble, "you don't need to cook for me, shō. you could've ordered take-out. that would've been fine."

"but i wanted it to be special. you've been working late this past week and you would've been tired. i screwed up dinner and now we have nothing to eat."

you peer up at him, but he avoids your gaze until you cup his cheeks and force him to look back. you hum, "how about we cook lunch together tomorrow?"

"you don't have work tomorrow?" he asks, eyes big.

"it's saturday," you giggle, "i have the day off."

"i lost track of what day it is after our last game," he rubs the back of his neck guiltily. and you laugh even harder as you get on the tip of your toes and press a peck to his cheek, "what do you want to eat?"

"tomorrow or right now?"

you give him a look, and he says, "pizza."

"good choice," you chortle, before giving his lips a peck and going through your work bag to find your phone, "i'll order breadsticks too."

"the ones with cheese?"

"the ones with cheese."

"thank you!" he groans happily. you narrow your eyes, "hey, you're the one who fucked up dinner."

"the wounds are still fresh, honey. don't wound me."

"want me to make up my vicious verbal attacks with cuddles?"

"and jurassic park?"

"i am so in love with you," he giggles, walking over to you and kissing your lips softly. you smile into the kiss, leaning against him. a sigh leaves your lips, and he frowns, "what's wrong, hon?"

"nothing's wrong, i'm just exhausted. and seeing you at the end of the day is the best thing that happens to me," you tell him. shōyō grins, as if you've stroked his ego, "i'm glad to be of service."

"no seriously, seeing you is like a free therapy session," you joke, giggling breathily. he takes your hand in his, interlocking your fingers. then he whispers, "come on. let's go get you in some pajamas and watch movies on the couch. then we'll makeout and fall asleep there too."

"that sounds like such a solid plan," you laugh.

"free therapy session?"

"free therapy session."

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

kinda short but based off this request.

#hinata shoyo x reader #hinata shouyou x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hinata shoyo fluff #hinata shouyou fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq fluff #hq!! fluff #hq!! x reader #hinata shouyou #hinata shoyo x you #hinata shoyo x y/n

[blu3b3rryj4mp1r3]

The sleep thingy you did. That's not a mistake. Dont go back to sleep unless you have at least 4 more hours to sleep or that's gonna happen again. I've been doing this a long time. I cant remember the last sweet dream I had. But there is some techniques i developed to mitigate the effects of these awful dreams. Theres a really common style of bad dream where if you pay attention, the entire dream was mostly fine but it went super sour in the last few seconds. Knowing that helps. Next; if you have one that really needs to not exist, then in the first few moments after you've woken up, commit to forgetting it. Generally, dreams happen when you're not making memories so you can exploit this by simply not thinking about it. It will fade away if you dont commit energy to thinking about it.

All of this assumes you dont already know this. Sorry for didacting at you, I sincerely hope it helps. :>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hey thanks for the advice actually!! 🌠 That is EXACTLY the kind of dreams I've been having lately, fine but odd until the last moments when something goes horrifically wrong. Then I wake up exhausted and I'm too tired to do the things I want to in the day.

There's a lot of things that have been affecting my sleep. Because of my c-ptsd falling asleep in the first place is difficult and can even feel scary to me. And I'm no stranger to horrific nightmares (doesn't make them any less terrifying though) so I usually take melatonin BUT I've been running low on those and been trying to save. I've also just been not feeling well in general, depressed, so my routines have gotten a little messed up.

Funny thing is I usually like being a morning person, when I'm feeling well. I used to get up at like 5am to bake bread before sometimes lol

Well it's best I don't ramble more now, it's already 2am and I have a therapy appointment tomorrow, hope that might help me a little :> And I'll try more to not go "ugh the floor is cold and it's still dark outside, I'm sure sleeping a little longer won't hurt hahaha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ" when I wake up now lol

#night night! 💜🌟 #☆.asks

[alwaysthesitter]

Ugh, annoyingly having to go on somewhat of a temporary hiatus. I knew that picking up this haunt job was going to be a challenge on top of my other job, but it's something I've always wanted to do being a huge Halloween buff. The great thing is that my primary job allows me to make my own schedule so I have a lot of flexibility. What I didn't realize was that the scare actor job would take advantage of that. They just dropped my new schedule (which is already an issue in and of itself since we have work tomorrow) and I work every single night this week. Which is also a balancing act I have to talk to my manager about because even though I have flexibility, I do still have some therapy clients that like to meet with me after work. That doesn't give me a single night to cram in all my night clients since I have to be at the haunt at five. I've been doing sessions on weekends, but some of my clients don't want to waste their free days doing therapy and I can respect that.

But yes, it's going to impact my writing for a bit. I'm going to be immensely burnt out. It's going to be a lot of days where I work until midnight which means get home at 1 AM then have to wake up at 7 AM for my first Client shift at 8. Needless to say, that doesn't leave much time for writing. Plus I'm sure even if I do have a night off I'm going to be so exhausted that I'd prefer to just spend it sleeping. That being said, unfortunately, roleplay needs to be put last on my list. It makes me sad because the trip I just took gave me so much freaking muse that I'm spinning with it, but alas, adulting comes first you guys.

Please don't forget me. <3 And I promise I'm not ignoring anyone or disappearing forever.

#[pretty good babysitter*/ooc]

[pattytacuri]

8/24/ 22

My friend shared this inventory list with me and I'm gonna take it on all of the first dates I have next summer. 😭🤣 Just kidding. 🤣 I thought this was so interesting for real. The only thing I don't like about it are the terms "non escalator" and "metamour". I remember last summer walking into my therapist office and announcing "I'm not polyamorous anymore" . It felt like a weight lifted from me to take that label off. I was still non-monogomous of course. Now I'm just a solo project. Doing this inner work and reading all of these therapy books is exhausting. I'm like when can I announce "I'm finally to the healthiest version of me and I can stop now". Ugh. Its going to be a long time. 😪 This week has been so hard with added stress of my friend's upcoming nuptials and my trip to Peru next month. And being celibate by choice is rough at times. It will be 3 months tomorrow. I know that all of this inner work will be worth it but damn it's draining. I miss my unhealthy self who was like "lemme download a dating app and see who's on the menu today cause I'm lonely". Instead, I'm gonna read the Marsha Linnehan book and drink some tea and calm down. I have 28 books on bpd recovery to read after this. 🤣😭

#real life #marsha linehan #dbt therapy #building a life worth living #currently reading #anxiety #bpd feels #Spotify

[diedbrave]

Ugh, annoyingly having to go on somewhat of a temporary hiatus. I knew that picking up this haunt job was going to be a challenge on top of my other job, but it's something I've always wanted to do being a huge Halloween buff. The great thing is that my primary job allows me to make my own schedule so I have a lot of flexibility. What I didn't realize was that the scare actor job would take advantage of that. They just dropped my new schedule (which is already an issue in and of itself since we have work tomorrow) and I work every single night this week. Which is also a balancing act I have to talk to my manager about because even though I have flexibility, I do still have some therapy clients that like to meet with me after work. That doesn't give me a single night to cram in all my night clients since I have to be at the haunt at five. I've been doing sessions on weekends, but some of my clients don't want to waste their free days doing therapy and I can respect that.

But yes, it's going to impact my writing for a bit. I'm going to be immensely burnt out. It's going to be a lot of days where I work until midnight which means get home at 1 AM then have to wake up at 7 AM for my first Client shift at 8. Needless to say, that doesn't leave much time for writing. Plus I'm sure even if I do have a night off I'm going to be so exhausted that I'd prefer to just spend it sleeping. That being said, unfortunately, roleplay needs to be put last on my list. It makes me sad because the trip I just took gave me so much freaking muse that I'm spinning with it, but alas, adulting comes first you guys.

Please don't forget me. <3 And I promise I'm not ignoring anyone or disappearing forever.

#{it isn't safe to walk the city streets alone ooc}

[tinyentity]

09/11 cashews & strawberries again today. as well as tea & water.

i had a really bad panic attack this morning so i'm just exhausted. i wanted to journal more today but i can't bring myself to do anything. at least i clean my kitchen some.. i guess.

therapy is tomorrow too. we're supposed to be working on boundaries & enforcing them. idek if i have the capacity to handle that rn. ugh.

#my post #tiny talks #tiny log #not pro just using the tags #ed not sheeren #tw ana diary #ed bllog #tw depressing thoughts #disordered eating thoughts #depressiv #tw restrictive ed #tw ed diet #tw vent #anxi4ty #tw 3d vent #3dtumblr #⭐️ve #⭐️ving #trigger warning

[shittybabypostsfordays]

i know a lot of it is probably pms hormones being stupid but like... damn bitch, stop crying lol.

#i keep looking at my phone... #and there was some rough stuff at work. nothing in my control #a coworker is going through it rn #and like. me being me bc i cannot immediately fix it that means i'm a bad person who needs to die #and everything feels very heavy and fuzzy #and i'm scared i'm going to be getting nightmares again bc i've remembered dreams the past two nights #and like. so far they're just absurd but like... #and idk if it's bc my schedule was a bit off over the weekend and so i was taking my meds later than normal? #and if all of this is just coming together with it being so dreary outside #and i still can't taste well and i can't smell #and i made garlic bread yesterday and i couldn't smell it and it was awful #and i have a very sweet ask i want to answer but i feel like such shit i'm just like... #i feel like i'll just sound fake excited #but i really..... yeah #ugh and i have therapy tomorrow and i'm just so exhausted

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

I am so easily overwhelmed right now it's ridiculous.

#our work schedule ran late so i should already be off work but im here probably another hour... fine #so i was going to go home and shower and then put food in to cook in the instant pot and try to be in bed by 8:30 ish #because i have to get up early to take my mom to physical therapy #fine. #but then my mom messaged me a shopping list for something else entirely that she wants for dinner and my dad messaged me HIS shopping list #so now i wont get home until probably 6:30 or 7 instead of 5:30 like i planned #and in addition to the food i was going to make so i have meals for the next few days #i also have to cook something else entirely that uses 2 pots and 1 pan #so im going to have to do the dishes (even though i just did them this morning) #and i wont get to shower until probably 8:30 or 9 #and im so preemptively exhausted i want to cry #and im working 2 hours late tomorrow as well #ugh #but I mean seriously??? #like I specifically planned my week to NOT have to go to the store because I feel like I'm going to fuckin' lose it #if I have to do one more thing #so OF COURSE I have to go to the store for everyone else #UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

[whysojiminimnida]

My Blogging's Been Off Lately.

And here's why so scroll if you don't care. If you hang out a second I'll post something better. OH LOOK JIKOOK THIS POST IS NOT BTS RELATED KEEP IT MOVING OR DROP FANFIC RECS EITHER WAY

You deserve an explanation. It's not an excuse, mind you -- but I have been kinda... ruder than usual lately. I've blamed the muscle relaxers but to be fair those are pretty low key in terms of pharmaceuticals. They do loosen the tongue a bit, but still. I've been snottier than normal and I'm sorry.

Here's the ugh why part. Some of y'all know that I've been kinda sick for awhile. And we don't really have a given name for it yet. I've been getting infusion therapy for months but suddenly shit has gotten realer in terms of super pain. I wheeled my mom through four major airports three weeks ago and I was pretty okay. I'm in good shape, I run and dance and lift so I managed it. I hurt at night but I had my own hotel room so it was cool. Took naps and hot showers and Tylenol, nbd. It was super exhausting though. The pics, oh I look like hell. And old. Like rode hard old, suddenly, and I didn't look like that three months ago. AND NOW? Oh well Google and I have given me six kinds of cancer already so whatever it is, it's probably not Google levels of hell. But just in case

I've been mostly in bed for two weeks now,it's gotten way worse in the last four days, and I have exploratory testing happening starting tomorrow. AND NOW I HAVE A HEADACHE just because I gave it to myself clenching my jaw for six hours. If you're a medical type person and wanna play armchair quarterback I AM DOWN FOR THAT it sounds fun. (I used to be a nurse, I get it. I am kind of interesting in terms of labs and symptoms lately so ask away, I take questions. Fuck a HIPAA.) Double plus bonus I will currently fuck the hell out of an MRI because infusions plus metal = can't see shit. Welp, we should know something on Tuesday, probably. In the meantime I'm just hanging out trying to get comfortable and not be all jawclenchy. On the plus side if I don't get to go on vacation in two weeks like I BOUGHT TICKETS FOR I might get those Nikes I've been eyeballing.

#random not bts bullshit #i'm so self centered goddamn #this is what happens when i get a divorce and a cat istg #i really do love the cat though #anyway #i'm gonna work on that dance post next and request gifs #i have a whole bunch of y'all to seriously answer i am sorry i suck

[paruecake]

1.20.22 - 12:45pm - Thursday

Well, my therapy appointment on Tuesday went okay. I guess I feel pretty neutral about her so far. She seems alright, but I don't think I'm going to love her as much as I did my last therapist. I guess for now, it's going to have to be good enough. As long as she isn't actively harmful, I think we can get along.

I think I've almost gained back some semblance of being alive? idk. I've managed to play Breath of the Wild for a few hours each day, which is better than what I was doing before which was absolutely nothing.

I'm feeling a little sick again so I'm getting tested for covid tomorrow. Ugh! I'm sure it's going to come back negative, which is great because I definitely don't want covid, but jesus christ I'm sick of constantly being sick even though I don't go out anywhere and then worrying that I've gotten covid. I'm just so exhausted by this pandemic. Not even because I want to go out and see people, but just because I want to be able to visit a bookstore, get groceries, or sit down in a cafe without worrying that I'm going to fucking die.

#.txt