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#ugh and if one of those wasn’t enough not two mins later two dudes on a motor cycle cat called me
softlenaluthor · 3 years
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some men will see a woman walking alone after 11pm and immediately not know how to act
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leesh · 3 years
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because i have zero self control when it comes to christmas films and, well, cheesy christmas films are #life. 
basically, i have developed a collection of favourites over the years, including both classic christmas films that are fun for the whole family and terrible, dripping with all our favourite favourite cliches hallmark christmas films, and yet i am still always on the hunt for more. so, i thought i would try a little thing to share them with everyone else as well (and actually remember them for future reference)!
check out the tag here i will try and remember to use as i live blog some of these movies or head on down below the cut to see all of the christmas films i’ve watched in 2020. thoughts and star ratings included! as expected, i will also be updating this as i watch more and more this holiday season (follow along on twitter too if you want).
note: since i LOVE terrible hallmark films, some that i give a higher rating will not actually be......critically acclaimed. i am just #obsessed and have my reasons as stated, i’m sure.
holidate (2020) 
⭐️⭐️| first time watch | someone on letterboxd compared this movie to when you watch a rom com in sims and it’s just a bunch of random scenes that make no sense and they’re absolutely right. its only saviour is an australian dude and the line “so you know me well enough to cum in my mouth, but you don’t know me well enough to get me a christmas present?”
my christmas inn (2018) 
⭐️⭐️| first time watch | i’ll be honest, this film was pretty forgetful. i watched it over a month ago and don’t really remember what happened. however, i do remember being impressed that the leading lady wasn’t a stereotypical thin white woman. so i guess at least it has that going for it.
christmas made to order (2018) 
⭐️⭐️⭐️| first time watch | i actually thought this was pretty cute. it’s not the best, but also not the worst, so a decent medium if you need to fill up those figurative christmas stockings. the concept of hiring someone to decorate your entire house with no budget sounds pretty cool, but when the guy is aaron samuels and looks far from straight, it becomes a little questionable. 
last christmas (2019) 
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️| rewatch | now this is not a cheesy hallmark film. in fact, i LOVE this film a lot and think i saw it twice at the cinema. last christmas is a top tier christmas song and i remember theorising about it when the trailer first came out, but i will say tissues may be a requirement to watch this. AND henry golding is my husband thank u and goodbye.
operation christmas drop (2020) 
⭐️| first time watch | interesting concept in theory, but this is nothing more than US military propaganda and a cgi lizard. bonus: white saviourism. 
the knight before christmas (2019) 
⭐️⭐️⭐️| rewatch | a medieval knight transported into today’s world and has never seen a car before can drive better than me. that’s it. that’s the movie. also, he literally says the words “modern technology is lit af” at one point. solid christmas film if you ask me. 
the princess switch (2018) 
⭐️⭐️⭐️| rewatch | i strongly believe in the vhcncu (vanessa hudgens christmas netflix cinematic universe). i also have so many questions, like how did they afford the flights or solid conversation or was it all expenses paid? how did they finish a bulk of the cake without a mixer? why does everyone always speak english with a posh english accent even though it’s a non-english european country?
the princess switch: switched again (2020) 
⭐️⭐️| if we learnt anything from a christmas prince, it’s that sequels are generally never better than their predecessor. that being said, this was much less cute body swapping christmas fluff and a little more literal kidnapping and saving the day. either way, blonde vanessa was hot and i appreciated the amber/richard cameo that insinuates a christmas prince is actually a dramatic documentary.
midnight at the magnolia (2020) 
⭐️⭐️| now if you’re after an absolute cheesefest that ticks the boxes on best friends meets fake dating over the holidays, then this is the movie for you! albeit it takes place between christmas and new year’s, it’s still filled with their families knowing they were soulmates the whole time and two people who are a literal too comfortable on the radio. also, the dad’s totally should’ve been gay. they had more chemistry.
christmas wonderland (2018) 
⭐️⭐️⭐️| tbh, i genuinely enjoyed this one. post breakup/high school sweethearts is a personal favourite trope of mine, so throw christmas & being forced to spend time together when she goes back home into the mix and i’ll have a serotonin explosion. bonus points for the guy telling the girl to go back to nyc to follow her dreams without being a dick. OH and the scene when he points a fuck load of sugar in his hot beverage.
a wish for christmas (2016) 
⭐️⭐️| who doesn’t love a good office romance between a boss and an employee at christmastime? especially when you throw in a little christmas magic that makes her more confident that results in her finally getting what she deserves and having to travel and rekindle with his family? also, fuck them rich white dudes, but props to her for the significant job promotion.
christmas with a prince (2018) 
⭐️| this was TERRIBLE and not in the good way. it featured: an entitled prince who suddenly had growth even though he did nothing to achieve it, majority of the film set in one hospital room, and the fact that she’s the only one with a tiara at the party filled with people who actually have titles. also, thought there was a decent ending but turns out there was still another 30 mins to go. ugh.
a royal christmas engagement (2020) 
⭐️| don’t be fooled by the title. the engagement doesn’t happen til the last two minutes. it’s actually about a prince (bet you didn’t see that one coming) who travels to america, pretending to be his best friend who works for this major marketing firm because he’s tired of being the spare. this gets one star purely for the line “she’s not a commoner, patrick. she’s an american.”
christmas wedding planning (2017)
⭐️⭐️| it looked like it would be half decent, and while it’s definitely better than the last two, it was still pretty eh. i could get on board with her texting her dead mother’s number as a way to talk to her still, and i understand we all experience grief differently, but.....actively paying your mums phone bill 3 years later? girl. also, the end made me SCREAM. WHY DID THEY DO THAT!!!!
santa girl (2019)
⭐️| this was just painful to watch. evil jack frost makes memes in his free time, santa has a fancy car and doesn’t eat sweets, and there’s an odd comparison between the elves, minimum age workers, and racism. however, one star purely for the entertaining (read: bloody awful) tooth fairy cgi that gave me a right laugh.
the christmas chronicles (2018)
⭐️⭐️⭐️| this was really cute and had the makings of what could be a christmas movie staple along with the likes of elf and the santa clause (but will never reach that standard, obvs). tbh, it’s just a nice heartwarming family christmas movie about two siblings who band together to help santa and save christmas. also, santa was a #dilf.
the christmas chronicles: part two (2020)
⭐️⭐️| one of these days i would love to see a sequel that’s better, or at least on par, with its predecessor, but that day is not today. sadly, this film lacked all the heart and magic the first one was filled with and some scenes were pretty redundant. kurt russell and goldie hawn, however... one star for each of them.
forever christmas / mr. 365 (2019)
⭐️⭐️| the title varies depending where you’re from, but that’s probably the most exciting part of this movie. a guy celebrates christmas 365 days a year and a reality show wants to invade his house? ok, sure. one star for the eye candy and one star for, surprisingly enough, their chemistry and all the kissing scenes that don’t usually make the mark in the hallmark world. 
noelle (2019)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️| did i renew disney plus just so i could watch this (and a couple of others)? maybe so... this movie is so fun! and family friendly! and is actually funny! it gives me major elf vibes, but if elf was set in a more modern day setting. either way, i had a great time and have been holding out on this one after loving it a lot last year!
the nutcracker and the four realms (2018)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️| anything nutcracker related is an instant win in my book because it’s my favourite ballet of all time (except for graeme murphy’s version, we don’t talk about that). does this movie actually deserve the four stars? maybe not. am i going to give them anyway purely for my love of the nutcracker and the soundtrack? absolutely!
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parvus-pica · 4 years
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Man I expected the worst and Rise of Skywalker was still such a train wreck.
I’ve never seen such a disappointed audience. During the whole movie everyone was just sighing and throwing up their hands out of frustration at things happening. And at the end everyone was either venting their anger, sitting defeated with their head in their hands or (like me) laughing maniacally cause it was just so bad that it felt unreal.
I wish I could write any kind of coherent review but I won’t even try. So have a list of everything I hated under the cut because SPOILERS
Palpatine is back and everything was his plan all along. The First Order was created by him, Snoke was literally created by him in a tube or something. I’m just...is thinking of a new villain really this hard? You really had to revive the bad guy from the old movies? The laziness of this hurts my soul.
If bringing Palpatine back wasn’t enough, the whole plot of the movie is that Rey is his granddaughter. Absolutely everything is about Palpatine.
The reason Palpatine is alive? Sith magic. The reason he has thousands of star destroyers? Sith magic. Much plot, so creative.
Movie starts off with Kylo wanting to kill Palpatine but not doing that cause Palpatine goes ‘kill the girl and you’ll have all the power!’. So Kylo backs off and then tells Rey he isn’t planning to kill her and then....goes back to Palpatine to kill him anyway. Could’ve saved us the whole movie if he just started with that like he planned to, damnit Kylo.
You’ve heard of the First Order, get ready for: the Final Order!
You’ve heard of the Death Star (three times), get ready for: the Death Fleet! Cause shooting up planets with a device is literally the only threat they can think off, I’m impressed.
The Knights of Ren finally appear and add absolutely nothing of worth.
ALL THE SITH ARE IN ME! AND ALL THE JEDI ARE IN ME! The one who wrote these lines should be forbidden to ever touch a script again.
Oh Rey can suddenly do force healing I guess, ok that’s acceptab- oh Kylo can do it too. Oh and force resurrection. Oh and revive old dead men with force bonds. And giving them new fancy clothing while they’re at it? (Palpatine looked like a rich dude sipping wine, I cannot unsee)
Rey is Palpatine’s granddaughter.
But they did something with Hux! He’s a spy for the rebels cause he doesn’t want Kylo Ren to win, which is actually an interesting motivation. This has got so much potential I can’t wait to see- oh they just shot him like some random goon and he’s never mentioned again, great. And replaced him with some random old man no one knows. Thank god for that, sure wouldn’t have wanted to see characters I know grow, that would’ve been boring.
“They fly now? THEY FLY NOW? I guess they fly no-” OH SHUT UP FFS
What was even the point of making C3PO lose his memory if he got it back anyway 15 min. later? Was it to create drama? For who, the people with him who couldn’t care less about him? I’m so confused.
Thanks for giving Poe a random ex-girlfiend out of nowhere so, after giving Finn a girlfriend too, we all know for 200% sure they are not gay for each other. Oh and thanks for the two random rebel women kissing each other at the end to ensure that this wasn’t done cause you’re against gay people in your movie. Thumbs up Disney, well done.
WHY THE HELL IS REY PALPATINE‘S GRANDDAUGHTER
It seems that all you needed to kill Palpatine was to have two lightsabers instead of one. Can’t believe no one thought of that before.
Oh Rey dies, that’s new and cool I gue- oh Kylo revived her with magic force resurrection powers. Those sure would’ve been useful in all the other movies. And now he dies. Progress sure was made.
I actually laughed at Kylo dying, cause it’s just...they kiss and he plops down dead, they couldn’t have made it look more ridiculous, bravo.
There’s so much more but I don’t care enough to think about it anymore.
I’m just sad at all the wasted potential. Like there were some good things they could’ve worked with. There are great characters played by great actors that they could’ve done something with. But no, let’s just bring back Palpatine cause everyone loves him so that’s instant money, nevermind the rest.
Ugh.
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misslitterateur · 6 years
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befriend.
part 2 of a college! au — the story of how sope met
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summary: unexpected friendship
hoseok never expects yoongi to befriend him.
yes, you heard me right. it was yoongi, with his distaste for interaction and friendliness, who initiated the conversation. it wasn’t hoseok who began their friendship, as everyone had always assumed. hoseok was a freshman then. a lean boy with a glimmer of sadness in his eyes, he used to be ‘soft and silent’. he was demure and never spoke unless spoken to.
ask namjoon if you don’t believe me. hoseok had been that way since high school. if it wasn’t for namjoon, hoseok might have had no friends or anyone to sit with in campus. even though they were strangers, high school classmates at most, they were glad that at least they had each other. it was because of having utterly no choice in which hoseok and namjoon get closer than they had ever been. but yoongi and hoseok? it wasn’t by force. it was, surprisingly, by choice.
from: nams
can’t go later. dad needs me for smth. sorry.
ugh great. now he has to go alone to the theater guild’s newest production. he shouldn’t have agreed to go. in fact, he wasn’t going to. but his sister, curse her, had forced him to go and to invite his friends as well. hoseok wants to laugh at that; what friends? namjoon was the only friend he was comfortable with enough to go with, solely because they’d known each orher for some time. he frowns once more. he should really learn to say no to his sister.
the phone buzzes again. hoseok raises his brow and turns to look. what — was namjoon going to apologize again or something? the big dude had always been sensitive with others emotions. namjoon should know that hoseok wasn’t as sensitive as others.
from: nams
i got someone else to go tho. he’ll meet you in bangtan. have fun, seok.
panic alarms blare in hoseok’s head. dammit, joon! he’d much rather go alone than having to deal with an unknown stranger! he hisses loudly, attracting the attention of his roommate, jackson, but hoseok is too panicked to explain. he hurriedly types a reply.
to: nams
i would much rather go alone!!
from: nams
have fun, seok!
there was no arguing with namjoon when he put his foot down. hoseok groans, messing his hair in frustration, as he leans on the bed. there would be worse things than this, he supposes. hopefully, this person decides to ditch the moment he gets there. hopefully.
jackson acknowledges him with his lips curled in a smile. his roommate, a foreigner, was namjoon’s friend. although initially he’d been wary of jackson, hoseok has come to see him as a ‘friend’. he was rather loud and enthusiastic, friendly and what-not. he stayed in his side of the room and made breakfast on weekends. he was a great roommate, honestly.
“what’s up, seok?” jackson asks, still with that smile on his face as if he knew exactly what was going on. he’d picked up the nickname that namjoon had given hoseok. “something bothering you?”
hoseok sighs, “namjoon’s ditching on me and he’s making a stranger go in his place.”
jackson’s smile, if that was even possible, becomes even more mischievous. “wow, have fun!” he says it with so much mock brightness, that hoseok gives him a glare. “trust me, seok, you’ll be fine!”
“i can only hope you’re right, jackson.” hoseok finally decides to give in.
jackson beams. namjoon’s plan was working better than he had hoped.
——
yoongi’s eyes narrow into slits. “what?” he can’t believe that namjoon, his underclassman, had the nerve to actually ask that. his disbelief is present in his face, as if hoping that namjoon would quickly quip that he was merely joking, and he wasn’t going to have to go to the theater production with someone he didn’t even know.
namjoon doesn’t. his smile, his dimpled smile, stays on his face. “exactly what i said, hyung,” the younger boy says evenly, then gestures to the cafe. “your debt is racking up and i can’t be complacent anymore. you’re going to have to pay for it.”
to the older boy, that was a complete outrage. what debt? he didn’t have a lot of debts. he’s never went to bangtan without paying for his coffee and doughnuts. he even gave a tip! what was namjoon going on about?
his disbelief must have been present on his face becaus namjoon’s smile turns into a knowing smirk. “ah, hyung, you don’t think the coffee is bring for you during class is free, do you?”
yoongi’s eyes widen. damn, there was that too. he’d always wondered why namjoon would go the extra mile bring him coffee. now he knew why. he pales slightly; how much coffee had he drank from that? damn that trickster, yoongi clicks his tongue. he knew that yoongi was never in his right mind withot a cup of coffee to help him. namjoon had used it to his advantage.
ah, well. fighting over it would be useless. namjoon was adamant, and he’d include seokjin-hyung who was twice as pushy and loud. yoongi sighs, nodding his head in defeat.
“ugh, fine. but only because i’m such a good hyung, okay?” yoongi’s lips curls into lazy smirk.
namjoon’s shock shows in his face for a split-second. he expected a harsh reprimand. “of course, hyung!”
namjoon grins. his plan was working way better than he ever expected.
——
they make for an odd duo. hoseok is taller and bigger, but having the prescence of a flustered mouse. yoongi, in turn, is shorter and smaller, but his body language screamed ‘don’t mess with me’. hoseok walks faster, wanting to just hurry and watch the damn thing already. yoongi’s pace is slow, too slow, and he’s a couple of steps behind hoseok’s.
“hey.” hoseok freezes; the older boy’s tone was strong and deep, not expected from his smaller frame. “slow down.”
hoseok slows down, oddly embarassed that he’d inconvenienced his partner for the evening. murmuring a sorry, he opts to walk side by side with yoongi, although at a good distance away from each other. an awkward silence ensues; hoseok has never been good at talking to people. he’d rather if they were the ones to talk first.
yoongi senses that and sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, “i’m min yoongi.” he says as a means of breaking the tension. he wasn’t good with peole either, but the poor thing looked so terrified, he had to try.
hoseok blinks in confusion. “umm, i know..?” he trails off. “namjoon introduced us earlier? did you forget?”
yoongi shrugs indifferently. “didn’t seem like you heard me. with you pretending that i don’t exist and all.”
hoseok winces. had he really done that? he wasn’t pretending that yoongi didn’t exist, he was just too shy to deal with it. “..i’m sorry,” hoseok says slowly, “i’m not good with people.”
“neither am i. you and i don’t like people, i guess.”
anger inside hoseok flares. this older guy didn’t understand. it wasn’t that he didn’t like people; hoseok loved them. he wanted to talk to everyone like every other person, but his crippling shyness had stopped that from actually happening. it wasn’t something that could be equated simply to ‘i don’t like people’.
“it’s not like that!” hoseok blurts out, his eyesbrows scrunched. his heart is pounding heavily, words that should be left unsaid, pouring out of his mouth. “you’re different than i am, because i —“ he thinks he probably cursed somewhere in his speech, and even insulted yoongi once or twice. the older guy stares with rapt attention, a small smile on his lips, as hoseok continues to rant.
and, finally, hoseok has to take a breath. shame creeps in his chest. had he really let himself blow up like that? over something as simple as being ‘the same’ as min yoongi? his cheeks heat up in embarassment.
he turns to min yoongi, ready to apologize, only to see the older dude holding his stomach in laughter. hoseok’s shame becomes two-fold as he watches the older dude laugh and laugh, a new expression from his earlier frowning one.
“ya!” hoseok yells, masking his shame with mock anger. laughter bubbles in him but he represses it. “why are you laughing?”
“hah,” min yoongi pants, wiping a tear from his eye as he doubles over in laughter once more, “you’re a really funny guy, you know?”
hoseok decides to laugh as well. namjoon and jackson’s plan, damn those two, had actually worked out quite well.
——
that is the story of how yoongi and hoseok meet, not how they became best friends. now that story is for yet another time.
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staytheb · 5 years
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Sure
Pairing: MX’s Wonho x OC [Chaeyeon] Genre: slice of life, slight fluff Word Count: 4,122 Summary: After much denial and trying to stick with logical and reason, Chaeyeon in the ends throws them all out and just goes with the flow and what’s happening at the moment.
Warning: none except it not having been proof-read since it’s last sharing about two years ago.
i think this story was mainly inspired by Wonho wearing them short shorts during MX’s US tour for Beautiful tour. lol but yeah, this came about and now it’s here for y’all to read too. so yeah, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~
"Hey, Yeon, you're boyfriend's wearing short shorts again." Chaewon stated upon seeing Hoseok entering the exercise room where his group of friends were already gathered at the back part of the room. "Ugh, shut up, Won. He's not my boyfriend." Chaeyeon countered as her back was towards the male as she continued to do her stretches while ignoring her sister and friends' giggles. "Why aren't you guys stretching before dance class start?" "Because we already do stretches first when class starts, Yeon." Jaemin reminded her with a laugh. "Wow Yeon. Have you forgotten? We've been taking this class for weeks now." Jaerin chuckled as the older woman rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Rin. It still helps to stretch the limbs."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Yeon." Chaewon dismissed her sister as she patted her on the back. "Just don't forget to look at your sexy boyfriend." "He's not my boyfriend." Chaeyeon groaned as Jaerin squatted next to her friend with a playful smile. "Hoseok actually has some nice legs." Jaemin squatted on the other side of Chaeyeon with a matching expression. "Rin's right, but them shorts are so booty shorts status." "I don't care about his shorts, Min, and could you guys stop making it seem like he and I are together when we're not. We don't even talk to each other." Chaeyeon huffed a bit embarrassed by the younger women's constant teasing as her sister squatted right in front of her with a judging face. "It's because you run away every time he tries to approach you."
"I do not." Chaeyeon denied as she finished her floor exercises and continued to stay seated. "There are other girls here that fawn all over him, anyways. So it's not like me running away means anything really." "Psh, yeah right." Jaerin elbowed her. "You do run away and honestly you just fawn over Hoseok from a distance." "Rin's right, Yeon. You do fawn over Hoseok from like faraway instead of like the others in this class. And Won's right about you running away when he approaches you." Jaemin added as Chaeyeon glared at all three of them. "Because they're so obviously thirsty for the guy and I'm not. Anyways, why do y'all care about what I do or don't do, huh?" She then side-glanced each of them a bit annoyed.
"You always stare at Hyunwoo and make small comments about him being sexy in sleeveless shirts or just being good-looking in general, Won." Chaeyeon pointed at Chaewon before pointing at Jaerin. "You think Jooheon is the most adorable and charismatic out of Hoseok's group of friends, Rin. And you, Min." She then pointed at Jaemin. "Won't stop openly flirting subtly with Changkyun." Chaeyeon smiled in satisfaction as the other three remained silent for a bit before bursting into a fit of laughter which made the older woman frown. "Ugh. Why do I even bother with you three?" "Because you love us, Yeon." Jaerin cooed as she enveloped Chaeyeon into a hug with Jaemin following along. "And because you know it, too." "Ugh. Hate you guys."
Chaeyeon struggled to get out of the twins' holds as she tried to stand up, but only got into a squatting position before Chaewon decided to mess with her sister a bit out of her own enjoyment. Chaewon waited for the twins to let her older sister go before using her index to push Chaeyeon backwards which made the older woman fumbled on the balls of her heels before actually toppling over onto the floor mats with the trio chuckling at their friend's predicament. "But I definitely and for sure hate you the most." Chaeyeon wiggled her index finger at her sister with a wry look while slowly standing back up on her own two feet. "This is the last time I attend this dance class with any of you."
The trio just laughed at their friend as their dance instructor walked in. "Hello everyone!" She greeted them happily. "I see we're all set and ready to learn a new dance routine today. Yeah?!" "Yeah!" Everyone agreed as she introduced herself like she does every time when a new class for another dance routine happened. "For those of who are here for the first time, my name is Kyunghee and welcome to my class." She paused to give the newcomers a moment before resuming again. "Today's class will be different today. You all will be learning a dance routine that isn't mine, but a friend of mine's. I really liked the song, but my friend is a way better dancer than I am." She laughed as she then turned behind her to face the TV.
"I'll play his video for you guys to see the choreography and then after that we can begin." Kyunghee informed them as she had the video already up and hit play. It was Jay Park's Me Like Yuh and a male and female were the main dancers to which Chaeyeon recognized the woman instantly as she already knew who the guy was. "Oh my gosh, that's Soyun!" She slightly fangirl upon seeing the idol. "She looks so good with Bongyoung. Dude, that chemistry already!" Chaeyeon couldn't help but groove to the beat as this was one of her favorite tracks from Jay Park. "Who is she?" The twins asked at the same time. "Oh, she's an idol from the girl group, Playback." "Oh, that's her? No wonder she looked familiar." Chaewon said with a smile. "Bongyoung is hella fine though."
"Because he's freaking tall, that's why." Chaeyeon stated as Chaewon laughed. "That, too." "Wait, who's he?" Jaerin asked as Jaemin added. "Is he famous, too?" "Um, kinda, but not really. He's not an idol though or a celebrity." Chaeyeon explained. "He teaches choreography at a dance studio called 1MILLION with other choreographers like him. They're pretty amazing." "And how come you're not taking lessons over there?" Jaerin nudged her as Chaeyeon rolled her eyes at her friend's playfulness. "Because the fee is pretty steep for me and the time doesn't clash well with my schedule." "Well, at least you're taking this one and can see your boyfriend, right?" Jaemin cooed also nudging the older woman as Chaeyeon nudged her friend back. "Stop."
The quartet continued to watch the rest of the video not aware another group of friends glancing their way every now and then. When the clip ended, Kyunghee clapped her hands together with a large smile. "Wasn't that wonderful? Anyways, Park Bongyoung is a friend of mine way back and he sent me this clip because he wanted feedback and to rub it in my face that I lost out on being his partner for this. Psh, yeah right. I got my own thing going on." She laughed before talking again. "Well, they also made a video tutorial to which I will also play for you guys to learn the dance moves so you can get the gist of it when I start explaining them later on." She then went to find another clip. "I'll play the one where others have also learned the dance before the tutorial one."
Once the class finished both videos, Kyunghee began the stretches before asking for volunteers that wanted to help her demonstrate the dance moves. No one raised their hands or seemed eager to do so. "Hmm, then could I get Hoseok and Chaeyeon up here, please." She called out two names as Hoseok made his way to the front with a wide grin as Chaeyeon held back despite the other three nudging her to go join the male and instructor. "Um, I'm sorry Miss Kyunghee. My ankle doesn't feel too good right now to join you." Chaeyeon lied as she pretended to rub at her right ankle. "I'm sorry." "It's okay, dear. Um," Kyunghee looked at the other dancers and noticed that practically a majority of the female students were raising their hands now.
"Saeron. Please come up here." Kyunghee chose from the front this time as a younger woman yelped happily while joining the duo to demonstrate the choreography. "Yes!" "Okay, everyone. Just spread out from one another within a good distance so that you don't hit each other and watch closely." Kyunghee explained as she began the actual dance class now. As everyone spaced out and got ready, the trio bombarded Chaeyeon with words of protest. "Why did you lie?" "Why didn't you just go up there?" "That was your chance, y'know." "That's messed up." "He looked disappointed when you said that." Chaeyeon just rolled her eyes as she remained indifferent about it all. "I'm not that good and I get too shy when dancing in front of others when they watch me."
She shrugged with an aloof expression. "Besides, there's practically more girls than boys in this class, anyways. So I don't need to pair up for anything when the ratio is off." "Wow." The female trio commented as Chaeyeon rolled her eyes again. "If it was one of your crushes, then I wanna see you go up there to dance with him." "Ohhh." They cooed as Chaeyeon realized what she had just mentioned. "Your crush, eh, Yeon?" Jaemin teased from the right of Chaeyeon as Chaewon continued. "I knew you like him, so stop denying your feelings." "Shut up." Jaerin just laughed and soon enough they returned their attention when Kyunghee began talking again while doing each part as Hoseok and Saeron demonstrated the routine step by step right after her.
After demonstrating the dance all the way through with her helpers, Kyunghee then had the duo return to their spot so she could go over the first part of the choreography with more details. "Let's start!" She clapped happily as she made her way to another part of the room so that the mirrors were now behind her with the class following her lead. Kyunghee had her back facing the students as she began the first step of the dance routine. "Now, watch me first before you guys do it, okay? Just like last time." And with that, Kyunghee began to explain and demonstrate as everyone else followed her lead. Soon enough, the class was over and Kyunghee released them until next time which was next Tuesday as her classes were twice a week.
"Hey, let's hit up the club after this." Jaemin suggested as her twin looked at her with a wry smile. "You just want an excuse to go out and drink." Jaerin laughed as she picked up her bag as the others did the same. "Of course." Jaemin confirmed with a laugh. "When don't I?"  "Oh true, but we should do that, anyways." Chaewon agreed with lit eyes. "We haven't hung out in forever to just chill and what not." "Sure. Let's go." Chaeyeon nodded her head with a smile. "I wanna drink, too." "Alright, then. We'll go back home, get ready and change, and then meet up at the club later, yeah?" Jaemin said as the others agreed with Chaewon making a suggestion. "How about that one club, BEBE, in an hour or two?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Alright, seeya there."
~~~~~~~
The quartet arrived at BEBE with the twins arriving first and the other pair of sisters several minutes later. They ordered up their drinks and began making their way towards the back part of the club with Jaemin leading. Upon arriving to their destination, Chayeon noticed a group of males at the table that they were standing before. Confusion appeared on her face as the guys scooted out of the booth and greeted them with friendly 'hellos' as the other three females greeted back in the same manner. Chaeyeon felt Jaerin nudging her from behind to scoot on in to which she did, but she was still confused on who they were joining since none of them looked familiar at a glance and her friends and sister hadn't mentioned anything as of yet.
It finally dawned on the older woman when she felt a guy seated next to her instead of Jaerin to her right while Jaemin was on her left. Chaeyeon cautiously looked to see who it was and hoped that it wasn't who she was thinking it to be, but felt that it was still him. She was right, but she didn't feel that excited about it. "Hi." She let out meekly with a closed lipped smile as Hoseok grinned at her. "Hi to you, too." Chaeyeon wanted to melt at the sound of his voice, but refrained from doing so as she gave him another smile instead as she searched for the other three and saw that they were already looking at her. "The betrayal is so real and deep right now." She said as she glanced at her sister who was across from her while sitting in-between Hyunwoo and Kihyun.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Yeon." Chaewon replied with a feign innocent look, but let out a mischievous chuckle. Chaeyeon rolled her eyes knowingly, but still decided to lean to her left to speak to Jaemin for her to only hear as Changkyun was sitting right next to her. "This is mainly your doing isn't it, Min?" Jaemin laughed before answering. "Just like Won, I have no idea what you're going on about, Yeon. Maybe it was Rin?" She indicated with her chin in Jaerin's direction with a playful smile. "Ask her." Chaeyeon rolled her eyes knowing full well, but still checked as she kind of leaned towards the right, but was trying to not invade Hoseok's space as she tried to speak with her friend who was next to Jooheon who was next to Hoseok. "Was it you?"
Jaerin took a sip from her drink before answering the older female. "Was it me what?" She then chuckled which caused Chaeyeon to roll her eyes and returned back to her seat. "Never mind." The female trio laughed before starting a conversation with the males. "So what did you guys think of Miss Kyunghee's new dance choreography?" "I think it's good, even though she didn't come up with it." Hyungwon complimented as he was the one sitting next to Jaerin. "I was really hoping she would have picked me instead." Minhyuk chimed from beside Kihyun. "I think I would have made it more livelier than Hoseok." "Yeah, right." Kihyun deadpanned. "Like you could get any of the ladies to join you." "I could." "No, you can't." Changkyun disagreed with a laugh.
"They've seen you dance before while demonstrating, Minhyuk. It's awkward." Jooheon added as everyone laughed, but Chaeyeon piped up with a small smile. "He's not awkward. Minhyuk's just very expressive with his facial expressions and movements." "Aww, thanks, Chaeyeon." "Ugh, you're welcome." "Oh, really now, Yeon?" Chaewon said as Chaeyeon noticed the mischievous glint within her gaze. "Who else do you watch and notice?" "Um," The older woman grew shy upon the spotlight being put on her. "No one in particular. I just observe my surroundings and notice things like that and what not." Chaeyeon then immediately took a drink of her alcoholic beverage as Jaemin spoke a second later. "What kind of things or maybe someone's body?"
The simple and innocent-like question made Chaeyeon choke on her own drink in mid-swallow before it went fully down after she had let out a few coughs. Hoseok immediately started patting Chaeyeon's back to ease the liquid down her throat. "Uh, thanks." "You're welcome, but are you okay?" "Yeah, totally." She waved him in a soft dismissal kind of way. "I'm good. No worries." Chaeyeon then directed the conversation elsewhere. "So when did all of you started hanging out like this? We never hung out in dance class or outside of it." Chaeyeon decided to also finished the rest of her drink. "This is kind of unexpected." "Oh, you don't know?" Hyunwoo asked with a puzzled look as Chaeyeon shook her head. "Um, know what?"
"You're sister and I are dating." He explained as Chaeyeon laughed. "What? Seriously? Oh, wow, you are." She then looked at the twins while pointing at them both. "Then, you guys, too?" "Yeah, pretty much." They replied in unison as Chaeyeon was left speechless for a bit and then remembered something. "No wonder you guys were laughing earlier about that. Ugh. I swear you guys are a bunch of jerks." She scoffed as she sat back in her seat with her arms folded across her chest. "Seriously." Everyone laughed at her reaction as Hoseok placed an arm around her shoulders. "It's okay, Chaeyeon. We were surprised, too." "I see." She let out softly without looking at the male, but didn't shake his arm off of her to not appear rude.
The conversation soon picked up in to another direction as Chaeyeon tuned out whatever they were talking about. She was trying to figure out how to removed Hoseok's arm from around her shoulders as the male seemed to have comfortably preferred it there. Chaeyeon was also trying to come up with an excuse she could make to leave early and go home. Chaeyeon was so lost in her own thoughts she wasn't aware of who was asking the question and had automatically answered upon hearing what the question was asking. "Wanna get outta here?" Hoseok asked as Chaeyeon answered in a relieved tone. "Oh my gosh, yes, please." She then turned to her right and realized that Hoseok was the one that asked her that and she regretted sounding so desperate.
Before she could explain herself, Hoseok had already turned his attention to the others. "Sorry to interrupt whatever you guys were talking about, but Chaeyeon and I have decided to leave." "Leave where?" Kihyun asked with a sly look. "Dunno, but we'll figure that out once we exit the club." Hoseok laughed as Chaewon grinned. "Great! You can also drop her off at home whenever the two of you are done with whatever you guys decide to do, too, Hoseok." "Will do, Chaewon." He mock salute with a silly smile as Chaeyeon just watched this exchange happen before her in utter silence with a somewhat regret look. "Oh, make sure to give her piggyback rides because of her ankle, y'know." Jaerin added with a smirk.
Jaemin then patted Chaeyeon's back with a loud laugh. "If she makes any excuses, ignore them. She's just being shy and playing hard to get." "Oh my god." Chaeyeon groaned in embarrassment as she pressed her face into her palms in hopes of hiding herself in some way. "So embarrassing." "Haha, will do, girls." Hoseok mocked saluted the twins as well. "What's embarrassing about them worrying about your health and well-being, Chaeyeon?" Changkyun asked with a sweet smile. "Don't worry, Hoseok's a great guy." Hyunwoo tried to reassure Chaeyeon, but she felt even more embarrassed and shy upon the attention that she and Hoseok were receiving. "Yeah, he may be a dork and dumb, but that's his charm." Hyungwon chuckled missing a playful glare from Hoseok.
"Yeah, just don't build up his ego about his muscles though. He's not all that." Jooheon commented as Hoseok clamped a hand on the younger male's shoulders. "Thanks, Jooheon." "Sure thing." Hoseok then moved his left arm from around Chaeyeon's shoulders and towards her right hand to grasp it firmly into his. "Let's go." He simply said to her as Hyungwon, Jaerin, and Jooheon made their way to get out of the booth so that Hoseok and Chaeyeon could eventually get out as well. Reluctantly, Chaeyeon followed after Hoseok when she saw the other three moving out of their way, but hoped that they wouldn't. She internally groaned while making her way slowly out of the booth and was now standing side by side with the male.
"You guys have a wonderful night and see you all later, if not then on Tuesday in dance class." Minhyuk bid farewell to the duo as Hoseok said the sae thing while Chaeyeon just held up a small wave while letting out a small 'bye' before feeling Hoseok tug her hand to indicate that they were now leaving their group of friends and would soon be out of the club in a matter of seconds. Chaeyeon knew that the other three were probably laughing mischievously behind her back while filling in the missing pieces to the males, but she didn't dare face them to give them that satisfaction. Instead she just stared at Hoseok's broad back and wondered how she was going to get herself out of this situation that she had at first unconsciously put herself into.
Once the two were outside BEBE and into the cool night air, Hoseok suddenly faced Chaeyeon and she almost ran smack dab into his chest, but fortunately she stopped herself from letting that happen while looking at him. "So...?" She trailed off as Hoseok looked down a bit embarrassed, but faced her again with that charming smile of his. "Is you're ankle okay?" "Why wouldn't it be?" Chaeyeon asked confused as Hoseok looked at her even more confused. "You said that your ankle wasn't too good earlier today in dance class." "Oh, that. Yeah, um, haha, uh, I'm okay now." "So you don't need a piggyback ride." "Oh, god, no." He stared at her with a weird look as she stared at him with a neutral one and then changed the topic. "So, what do you want to do?"
Hoseok rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand as he looked around and then back her her. "I dunno. I just wanted to get you alone." He stated with a sheepish laugh as Chaeyeon looked away upon hearing that. "Um, what do you feel like doing right now?" "Right now?" She suddenly looked at him, but averted her gaze from him afterwards. "I, um, well, uh, food." Chaeyeon let out lamely as Hoseok chuckled. "Oh, good. I'm hungry, too. Let's go get some ramyeon." "At this hour?" She faced him again with a weird look as the male nodded his head with a serious expression. "Yeah, Chaeyeon, why not? Ramyeon hour is any hour." "I guess so. Ramyeon is ramyeon to me, but if that's what you wanna do, Hoseok. Then sure."
"Okay, cool. Let's go." He grinned as he began to lead them towards the nearest noodle shop before continuing to speak. "It's not the most ideal date, but it's still a date nevertheless." "Um, date? What date? Who said it was a date?" Chaeyeon asked him a bit surprised that he was treating this as a date while Hoseok glanced behind him to look at her with a silly grin. "I am." This made her freak out on the inside as she opened and closed her mouth as she had no idea what to say to that. Hoseok laughed as he then laced their fingers together. "Well, Chaeyeon, I'm taking your silence as a confirmation to continue on with this." Chaeyeon snapped back to her senses and obliged with a shy smile finally giving in to her feelings. "Sure, Hoseok. It's a date."
"Good." He let out with a loud laugh before speaking in a confident tone a second later. "That means I need to make my way to be your boyfriend soon after." Chaeyeon looked at the back of him with a puzzled look. "Um, whoa there, Hoseok. This is just our first date, well, a random first date, but still. No one mentioned anything about jumping to boyfriend and girlfriend later on." Hoseok stopped walking and turned to face Chaeyeon where she almost ran into his chest again, but stopped herself in time like last time. "What?" She looked at him a bit unsure as he moved closer to closed the gap between them. "I thought that since the girls call me your boyfriend that I should properly find my way to that position as soon as possible and maybe more."
Chaeyeon restrained herself from letting out weird noises at the fact that her friends and sister told him such things while taking a step or two back to give herself and him some space. Chaeyeon was once again left with opening and closing her mouth to say something or anything, but nothing came out. Hoseok chuckled as his left hand made their way to softly cupped the right side of her face with his thumb rubbing circles above her cheekbone. "You're quite cute, Chaeyeon." He complimented her with a laugh before speaking again in a more serious tone. "I'm going to take your silence as a confirmation to continue on with what I'm determined to do, Chaeyeon." Chaeyeon let out a small laugh and nodded her head. "Alright, Hoseok. Sure. We'll go with that."
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mintyoongiskookie · 7 years
Text
B l u e   H o l e
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Requested: Nope
Member: Min Yoongi
Genre: Fluff, implied smut, heavy angst
Word Count: 8,420
Warnings: This story contains mentions of death, suicide, and abuse. If you aren’t comfortable with these subjects, you should not read it.
A/N: Okay, so this story is based off of one of my favorite books, titled “All the Bright Places,” by Jennifer Niven. I started crying while writing this, so it’ll probably spark up some kind of emotion in you. Thanks for reading Lovelies~
      Is today a nice day to die?
That question, that seven word question, is one I, (Y/N) (L/N), ask myself every single day that I live. So far, as you can see, the answer has turned out to be no. Or, rather than no, it would be “maybe, but let’s just push ourselves to get through one more miserable day in this hellhole, and see what happens next.” And I’ll never know, maybe I’ll go out with a bang, dying from something in a crowd, or silently passing in my sleep. Life is full of mysteries, and death is the only one that I care to think about daily.
      Will today be the day?
      And if not today - when?
Also a few other questions I ask myself on the daily, including today. The thoughts swirl around in my head, as I stand on the narrow ledge of my high school, watching the oblivious passerby that look like simple ants. I feel like I’m one with the sky, I’m so high up. I could just let the wind drift me down to the ground, I would make Marry Poppins look bad. I don’t really remember how I got up here - as well as what happened before this winter. It always turns out like this, my memories vanishing into thin air, only the smallest fragments being left behind, but never enough for me to put them together piece by piece. That’s what happens when I fall Asleep. Not necessarily as in the body function of sleeping, but something else. Here, allow me to explain.
      To be Asleep is to be dead. Not physically, but emotionally, as well as mentally. Think of it as being someone who has no emotions, no path in life. A living, breathing, human zombie. You cannot feel any pain, you cannot love anyone, you cannot hate anyone. You’ve basically gone brain dead. But, after what seems like a lifetime, you’ll become Awake again, without any memories of what the hell had just happened to you. Anyways, enough about being Asleep, and back to what actually happened this fine day.
      “Ladies and gentlemen. Is today the day? Is today the day where I end my life, with all of you here to witness this great show?” My speech only brought the common mumbles from the other students from below, the normal, “Go ahead, we won’t miss you”, “Get your crazy ass down from there before you hurt someone”, and the all too familiar: “You act like any of us care.” But, then came a few proclamations that you hadn’t heard before - “Wait, is that Yoongi?”, “What’s he doing up there?”, “He’s probably gonna talk her down. Poor guy, he thinks that she actually matters.” And that’s when you saw him.
      The Min Yoongi, standing on the other side of the bell tower, staring blankly at the ground.
      “Whoa there, hey, boy, are you okay?” Only when he turned did I see that look in his eyes, the look to end his life. I knew that look. I saw it staring back at me every day in the mirror. Shit. Good boys shouldn’t want to kill themselves, that’s my job. “H-hey, don’t worry, everything’s gonna be fine. Okay? Just step away from the ledge. I won’t hurt you, you’ll be okay, come here. We’ll get you down safe. Alright?” And then, the realization sunk into him, and I saw the look of pure horror on his face. The look that said, I don’t know how I got up here, I don’t know what I was thinking, but please, please, just help me. So that’s what I did. “Here, swing your leg back over the railing, and grab onto the bell. The ledge is too thin for you, come, it’ll be okay.” He moved in probably the most ungraceful way I could’ve ever seen, but I saw all the beauty that was held beneath this boy’s cold exterior, hidden under his head of mint hair, and buried deep underneath the left side of his black leather jacket. Maybe death wasn’t the only thing I loved. After he was safely behind the railing, a few claps came from the ground, and as I peered over the ledge, I was only met with the piercing and judgmental gazes of the other students and my principle, Mr. Wiele. I hate that man, that fat, stubby, ugly bald man. But, just gotta keep up my happy little facade and maybe I’ll be okay. Maybe. I swiftly jumped over the railing, to be met with the boy’s gaze, staring at me deeply.
      “A thank you would be appreciated, Yoongi.”
       “U-um, t-thanks… (Y/-”
       “(Y/N). But you can call me (L/N).” I beamed a smile at him, and I couldn’t possibly see how this boy was the confident, cool Yoongi you had always heard rumors about. “Well, you’d better get down there. Everyone thinks you saved me, because I just couldn’t get the wonderful title of being a hero. Go on, shoo. I’ll see you later.” Just then, my friend Charlie comes up. He has a darker complexion, and also gets laid more than anyone I know. But, then again, I don’t really know that many people.
       “They’re serving pizza today.” He says, as if I’m not eight stories above ground ready to kill myself. But, I’m not, because you shouldn’t kill yourself if there’s pizza in store for you. That’s just a rule. Well, not today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. Now isn’t the time, (Y/N). Not when you get to have pizza. I smiled, and looked over to a blank looking Yoongi.
      “Well, we’d better get going. See ya Minty.”
      “Oh yeah, (Y/N)? Mr. Hoarts wants to see you.” Ah shit. Maybe it should’ve been today. But there are a lot of people around, I’ll still have to wait.
      “Ugh, fine, let’s go. Bye Minty.” I offered a smile to Yoongi over my shoulder, only to be met with an empty gaze. So much for a thank you.
      “Do you think this is some kind of joke, (L/N)?” Mr. Hoarts’s voice seemed to bounce off the walls, and god, I hate his voice. It’s so annoying and whiny and ugh, he’s just terrible.
      “No, sir.”
      “Do you think your death is some kind of joke?”
      Yes. “No, sir.”
      “Do you think your family would be okay? And that they wouldn’t miss you?”
      They wouldn’t give a single shit, they’d probably be glad that I left their lives. These thoughts started racing through my head too, and soon it would be too much of a hassle to answer these questions because he knows that what I’m thinking is true, and he also knows that I know that he’s secretly reading these questions off of a pamphlet under his desk. “I’m sure they would miss me, sir.” A sigh left his lips. His ugly, hideous, disgustingly chapped lips. No wonder he’s single. He leans over the desk, his hands now crossed and setting on a few papers, which looked like forms for some depression pills, which, surprisingly, aren’t prescribed for me. But I guess I already have some. He was too close for comfort, even though there was quite a distance between us. If the distance isn’t the problem, maybe it’s the fucking garlic bagel he had for breakfast. God, did you just eat a full clove? Learn how to brush your damn teeth! You need a mint? I got some of those. Some gum? Got that too. Anything man, just please, you smell like a dog’s asshole.
      “(Y/N), you’re a good girl.” Ew. “You have a lot to live for, and you don’t need to squander it by making bad decisions, and you surely don’t need to end it. I care about you, kid.” Ew. Again. And, that’s also one of the biggest lies I’ve ever heard. That, and the fact that my dad loves me. That right there is pure bullshit. But so is this speech. “Don’t kill yourself. Okay?”
      “Yes, sir.” I hope he knows that’s the best answer he’s gonna get. Another sigh, and he leans back in his chair.
      “You’re free to go. I don’t wanna see you back in here for a long while, (L/N).”
      “Yes, sir.” And I left. He never once mentioned Yoongi, and I’m relieved.
       By lunch, the news that Min Yoongi had saved (Y/N) (L/N) from jumping off of the bell tower to her death was all around the entire school.. On my way to the cafeteria, coming from English Literature, I got caught up behind this group of girls who were talking about it. You know, the girls who talk really high-pitched, and at the end of every statement they say, their pitch raises just a bit more and makes it sound like a question. So, like, I heard she had a gun? And like, Yoongi had to wrestle it out of her hands? And, she was, like, about to shoot him? Okay, so apparently I’m all tragic and dangerous now. Oh yeah, I think. Totally.
       “So, tell me the scoop on the Yoongi dude.” I shove a piece of pizza into my mouth as I say that, looking over at Charlie and my other friend Violet expectantly.
      “Don’t you both have like, five classes together?”
      “What, do you think I actually talk to him? Today marks the first day he’s ever even glanced in my general direction, even if I did just talk him out of killing himself. He’s with the cool kids, right?” Their hums of approval urged me forward, realizing he’s had a few scarring incidents of his own. “Oh… wait, he was the one with the brother who got in a car crash, right? Last winter?” More hums. “Ahhhh… So I’m guessing today means something important to him, if he’s just now going to the ledge. Besides pizza, I mean. That’s important to everyone.” Now an eye roll from both of them. “Well if you two aren’t gonna be any help, I’ll just head to class early then.” I picked up all my shit and saluted to them both as I threw my trash away and sauntered out from the lunch hall.   
      I get to my U.S. Geography classroom, feeling some emotions, like power, excitement, invincibility, and strangely, exhilaration, as if I just escaped, well, death. I look around, and no one is paying attention to me, nor our teacher Mr. Scizer, who is literally the largest man I have ever laid my eyes on. He has a beet red face, that makes him look like he’s always on the verge of having a heatstroke or a heart attack. Which, he probably is. And his has this wheeze when he talks, and even when he breathes. 
      We’re doing some sort of “Exploring Indiana” unit, where students have to actually get off of their lazy asses and get out of their houses for once. It was also a way for kids to, “Learn more about our glorious state and discover all of the beautiful things it holds.” A quote from Mr. Scizer, except without the wheezing and breathy pauses he had to take. No joke.
      A noise somewhere across the room stops his speech, possibly the sound of a boy dropping his book on the floor. He bends down to pick it up, which then upsets the rest of his books and causing them all to tumble to the ground. A quiet, “Goddamn it,” leaves the boy’s lips as he grabs everything from the floor. This is all followed by laughter, because we’re in high school, and apparently this shit is supposed to be funny. The boy who dropped his books is Min Yoongi, as in the one I saved from plummeting to his death on the bell tower. I can see the slight glimmer of annoyance in his dark chocolate orbs. Not the, ‘You-are-all-so-damn-annoying-and-I’m-about-to-just-walk-out’ kind, but more like the ‘I’m-about-to-die-from-embarrassment-right-now-and-if-you-all-don’t-shut-the-hell-up-I-will-kill-you’ kind. I have felt this many times before, and, seeing as Yoongi is about one dropped pencil away from strangling someone, I knock one of my own books down. All eyes are on me. Leaning over to grab it, I purposely shove the others off my desk, followed by more laughter and the normal, “Nice job, freak” from the school’s biggest dick - Gage Raymond.
      “If you’re… Done… Miss (Y/N)… I would like… To… Continue.” I settle back into my chair, take a bow, and offer a wink and a smile to Yoongi. I see the slightest upturn of his lips, before he turns back to the front of the class, and I immediately feel so much better. 
      Mr. Scizer fixes his gaze on Yoongi, then on me, back to Yoongi, back to me, and finally, onto the blackboard behind him.  He picks up a piece of chalk and scribes out the words, “Wander the Wonders”. He’s really bad at titles.
      “As I… Was saying… You all need to… Wander around Indiana… In pairs as you… Discover the beauties… Of our state… Together.” He goes on to ramble about how we can choose wherever we would like to go, and however we would like to do it. We also have to try to find out ways they all relate, and we have to document the fact that we actually went there with videos and pictures, along with a ten page essay. “This assignment… Will be worth… Forty-five percent… Of your final grade.”
      I raise my hand.
      “(Y/N)?”
      “Do we get to choose out partners?”
      “Yes.”
      “I choose Yoongi.”
      “You can both… Work that… Out… After class is… Dismissed.” After class it is then, I mouth to him. And he smiles. Again. I made him smile.
      As per usual, Gage Raymond blocks my way from getting out of this hellhole.
      Raymond says, “I’d better not catch you looking at me again.” I try not to laugh at this, because I know if I do, it’ll start a fistfight.
      “I wasn’t looking at you. Trust me, there are about a million other thing I would rather look at, including Mr. Scizer’s large, naked ass.”
      “Fag.” Breathe, (Y/N). Count. He isn’t worth the effort to kill. Just count. You’ll be fine. One, two, three… And that little voice inside my head was right. He wasn’t worth any kind of effort, especially the kind that would go into having to distract everyone, kill him silently, drag him off somewhere, and act innocent. Instead, I plastered this dumb, sweet smile on my face as I looked up at him and said,
      “I’m glad you know who you truly are.” And I walked out.
      At home, I jump onto my computer and do something I’ve never done - make a social media account. I create a Facebook name, post a profile pic, and go straight to Yoongi’s page. I send a friend request, and I wait. Then, a few minutes later, I’m suddenly engrossed in a conversation with him on where we should visit for the project, actually being accepted by someone for once in my life. 
      After skipping dinner, the conversation suddenly got a bit too deep.
Me: So, why exactly were you on the bell tower today?
Yoongi: Well, today would’ve been my brother’s 19th birthday. He always said some shit about how he was gonna wreck the whole town on this night, and he’d bring me with him.
Me: Oh, that makes a bit more sense. You just didn’t seem like the person who would want to.. Y’know… Kill themselves.
Yoongi: Well, what about you? Why were you up there??
Me: Oh, I was going to jump, but it was too public, too crowded, and it was probably gonna be too messy. Then I saw you, and I thought, “Oh shit, we don’t need the janitor working overtime.”
Yoongi: Shit, I’m sorry for asking…
Me: Nah, it’s fine Minty.
Yoongi: “MINTY”???
Me: HELL YEAH, MINTY YOONGLZ!!!!
Yoongi: Oh my fucking god, you’re the only person I will ever let call me that.
Me: I feel honored, Sir Yoonglz.
Yoongi: oKAY, goodnight (N/N)
Me: AWWWWWW HE CARES ABOUT MEEEEE HE GAVE ME A NICKNAMEEEE~
Yoongi: and sweet dreams to you too.
      And now, now that I’m still here, that I’m still alive, that I’m still Awake, I’m actually happy. Because I may have never fallen in love with this boy if I wasn’t. 
      “So not today,” I sing, “I won’t leave yet, because he smiled at me.”
      Yoongi and (Y/N)’s Rules for Wandering
There are no rules. Life is one big rule as is.
But, there are guidelines. (What? They sound less strict, okay?)
           a) No using phones or a GPS to get us there. All maps. (and the occasional civilian) 
           b) We alternate who chooses where we go, but we also have to just go with the flow of where the road takes us. But, no matter what, under any circumstance, can the spot be ordinary.
           c) At every spot, we have to leave something of ours behind, kinda like an offering. And, if we’d like, we can use it as an exchange, and take something with us from the spot.
      I clamber into my old pickup, better known as Combine, because this baby could plow through anything. It’s the middle of the night, and I step on the gas as hard as I can. And off I go. My foot is pressed down against the floor of the truck, the sudden urge to go faster hitting me like a bullet. Faster, and faster, and faster, I speed out of the town and fly down the gravel roads. The speedometer climbs up higher and higher, a joyous feeling as I see the needle shaking, and going to it’s furthest point. And then I let loose. I slow to a stop, and I turn around. Now I’m on my way to Yoongi’s house.
      I make it back there in about five minutes, and I park the truck halfway down the street so I don’t look too suspicious. As I come up to his house, I grab a few pebbles from the street and fling them at his window. After seeing no sign of him, I climbed up the vines and hopped through his window. That surely woke him up, because I immediately see him shoot up and pull out a hunting knife.
      “God fuckin- Shit, (Y/N)!  I was about to fucking stab you!” I fall onto the edge of his bed laughing and clutching my stomach, clawing at the fabric of my thin shirt. “Stop laughing!” I could hear how his smile was slowly spreading over his features, and lighting up his eyes as a quiet chuckle escaped his lips. 
      “I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who has a knife at hand while they’re sleeping.” At this, a wide, adorable gummy smile pulls at his mouth, and I didn’t know any kind of disease or sickness that could possibly be more infectious than that damn smile.
      “That makes two of us. But anyways, what are you doing here?” I smiled again, and chucked a shirt and some sweatpants at him after noticing that he was completely naked, save for a pair of boxers that were loosely hanging around his waist. 
      “We are going wandering. Chop chop, leave a note or something, and off we go.” I threw some shoes and socks onto his bed, slipped into a sweatshirt of his, and quickly pulled him out of the window before he could tie his shoes. “Hurry up and climb, I’ll race ya to the truck!” With that, I bolted off down the street, sprinting in the middle of the road. Surprisingly, he caught up and and beat me to the truck. We both jumped in, and we sped off to my special place, my safe place, the Blue Hole.
      I could see his head turn to admire me, and I tried to hide the enormous grin that was bound to paint itself on my face. “So… Where exactly are we going?” Oh, I think, there’s the grin. I crank up the radio so the music carries its way out of the window, and I laugh when I look over to him. Who would’ve known that he could look so beautiful in the moonlight?
      I lean over and peck his cheek as I look back at the road ahead of us, Combine, my mind, and my heart, all racing at the same time. “The Blue Hole!!” I have to yell in order for him to hear me over the radio, but fuck, it feels so good to be able to yell. “It’s my safe spot, it’s like- Y’know what, you’ll see when we get there!!!” I smile over at him again, and it’s like the entire world only consists of us, this truck, and this road.
      We get there at the crack of dawn, the sunrise painting the sky in an array of vibrant colors, like violet, blue, orange, and various other shades. I turn over to Yoongi, smiling from ear to ear. “Okay, so this is the Blue Hole. It’s a quarry with on of those trenches in it, where if can be eight feet deep for one foot and then suddenly you’re sinking down into a hole of a deep blue abyss. So, I named it that because it’s kinda like a black hole, only with water, sucking you down deeper and deeper. So yeah, come on!!~” I put Combine in park, get out and slam the door shut, rip off my clothes, and dive in.
      “(Y/N), WAIT!!!!” I can hear Yoongi’s distressed cry even from how deep I am. I must be at least twenty feet down. I stay down there for around five or six minutes, seeing how long I could stay. I’m used to practicing at home, in the bath or just out of water. Being surrounded my the liquid made it all different. My lungs are screaming for air, trying to claw and grasp at the faintest molecule for any sign of relief. My eyelids are slowly drooping, and the light from the surface seems to be slowly fading. I swim up, up, up, to the point where I think this is all a dream, one repetitive motion, and I’ve really been Asleep this whole time. After what seems like an eternity, air gets sucked into my lungs as I gasp for it, trying to shake the black dots away that are littering my vision. I swim to the side where I can stand, and I look up to be crushed in a giant hug.
      “Y-you bitch… God… I-I thought you were dead… I though you left me…” His voice cracked as many times as possible, and I heard how broken he was. He cares for me, I thought. He missed me. He was worried. I slowly move my arms up, ignoring how my muscles were pleading for rest, feeling like sandbags were tied to my wrists. My fingers dance through his hair, closing my eyes to soak up this moment. He really does care. I squeeze my eyes shut and croak out, noticing how dry and harsh my voice sounded, knowing it would stay that way for a few days. 
      “… I-I’m so sorry, Yoongi…” I didn’t realize that I was crying until the salty liquid hit the corner of my lips. “I’m so, so sorr-” I couldn’t hear my voice anymore, but I could feel the soothing feeling of his lips on mine. He hoisted me up and carried me out of the water, my legs instantly wrapped around his waste as he walked back up the trail to Combine. I had already had a thick comforter in the flatbed, it being taped down from when I would drive off and spend days in my truck. He laid me down, instantly climbing between my legs as he slipped off the last pieces of clothing I had on. I had no idea what emotions really were before I met Min Yoongi.
      I laid in his arms, both of our gazes directed up to the clouds. My fingers absentmindedly ran up and down his arm, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. My heart was still calming down from what had just happened, because it happened with someone I love, and they love me back. I just couldn’t wrap my head around that fact. I felt like I could live forever - and for once in my miserable, useless, life, I don’t feel apposed to that idea. As long as I’m by his side.
      As we gathered our stuff and threw on our clothes, I held his shirt and smiled up at him. “I love you, Sir Minty Yoonglz.” His laugh reverberated throughout my being, his smile nothing compared to the sun beating down on us both.
      “I love you too, Miss (N/N).”
We decided that this would absolutely be a spot, so I threw a few historical coins into a tin from my truck, and Yoongi tossed his old necklace in with it. We buried the tin near the shore, and turned back to Combine. With one last kiss, we were both back on the road to what normal people would call, ‘home’. 
      We’re as far from normal as possible.
      “I’m home.” My voice rang through the house, my sister’s head poking out from the kitchen.
      “Good. We have to go to dad’s house tonight, remember?” God. Not him. He was a poor excuse for a human, even worse than myself. Fuck, he’d be a poor excuse for a damn rat.
      The words left my lips before I could process what I was saying. “Don’t call him that.” I’m lucky this was my sister, because we both believe that he shouldn’t even be on this planet. “You and I both know his status is lower than a damn gnat.” I sighed as she looked at  me with eyes that told me, yes, I know. He’s terrible. And I feel sorry for mom. I went up to my room, and lit up a cigarette as I changed into something. I shouldn’t even be putting any effort into this, I thought. He doesn’t deserve any effort. I decided on some black ripped jeans and some worn out black Chuck Taylors, keeping on Yoongi’s sweatshirt that I had almost forgot was on my torso.
      “(Y/N), let’s go!! Take your truck, I’ll head over now!” I looked toward the door and yelled back down to my sis.
      “Okay, don’t let him touch you.” I could hear her faint sigh as she grabbed her keys and walked out. I heard her car pull out from the driveway, and I turned to look at the picture on my desk. It was one of me, my sister, my mother, and what used to be my father, except for how I tore him off and burned him with a lighter. He left our family after abusing all of us, then finally saying that he’d already been cheating on our mother for six years prior. Then, my mom died in a car crash, and now it’s just me and my sis. I grabbed the frame and slammed it down onto my knee, shards of glass propelling all over my room. Why is he still alive? He shouldn’t be walking!
      After I got all of the glass out of my palms, and washed off all of the blood, I hopped into Combine and drove off to my “Father”s house. It really was a nice house, very expensive and very fancy. It was obvious he was in this relationship for the money. He married this really rich Daddy’s Girl, but she’s a surprisingly nice person. I have no idea how she’s dealt with him thus far, especially without getting a few broken bones from him. She’s probably scared, I think. I pull up and park my pickup in the driveway, hoping that the neighbors won’t have to call the cops again. Yet we all know just that will happen. 
      My fingers are prickling, like ten thousand needles all stabbing me at once, and I feel the need to wrap them around someone’s throat and just squeeze. I hop out and enter almost completely silent, a tactic I’ve used to get into Yoongi’s house in broad daylight. I offer Rhynna, the new wife, a nod, glare at her scrawny little boy, Tyler - who may or may not be that man’s, I still don’t think so - and I head downstairs to see my sis in the corner on her phone. My stature hardens instantaneously at the words that fall from the man’s mouth.
      “There’s my other girl.” Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. That. Before I could stop myself, I’ve already stalked over to him and slammed my fist into his jaw. I heard the cracking sound of his right jaw joint dislocating, and a surge of power washed over me. The prickling in my fingers is getting stronger, and I encase his throat with my hands and wring them back and forth. 
      “Don’t you EVER call me that again!”  Next thing I knew, I was the one getting strangled, my whole body being held up in the air by his hand on my neck.
      “Is that how you treat your father? Don’t call you what? Huh?! Spit it out, bitch!” I feel an immense pain shooting through my back, and up to my skull as I see I was thrown into the wall. This is how family reunions go with us.
      Now I’m getting picked up again, by my hands this time. I feel my fingers touch the back of my hand, all the knuckles and joints twisting and snapping. Once again, I’m being dropped, and I’m met face to face with the man, who’s in an unconscious state from a vase - which is probably worth more than my truck - that hit him on the head. I look up to my teary and red-eyed sister, and only mutter a few quiet words.
      “Please don’t take me to the hospital. Just get him behind bars.”  
        We get home after a while, and my sis stitches up my head and chin, as well as making some makeshift casts for my hands. After many attempts, I finally type out something on Facebook, that he would possibly be able to read.
Me: Please come over.
      A few minutes later, after thinking he hadn’t seen it, my bedroom door bursts open to see Yoongi, a panting, disheveled mess, but still as beautiful as ever.
      “What happened?!” I’m ready to laugh at him, tell him this is all a joke, that it’s a big prank, with makeup and cameras. But I can’t. Because I know he see the pain in my eyes. He can see how I’m trying to hold onto that last, tiny shard of sanity I have left. He knows me better than I know me.
       My voice is hoarse and broken, surprising even myself at how I sound. “My ‘dad’ happened.” I can see how he’s ready to apologize, how he’s ready to say how sorry he is, but he doesn’t, because he knows that sorry has no meaning. Instead, he walks over to me and sits next to me on the bed, pulling me in for a warm hug, and my figure melts with his perfectly. We stay like this for a majority of the day, only breaking apart when my sister brings up food for us.
      “I love you, Sir Minty Yoonglz.”
      “And I love you, Miss (N/N).”
      Yoongi is always around now, helping me when my sis is at work. School excused the both of us, believing our bullshit lie that I got into a car crash and Yoongi was my designated caretaker. One morning, while he was still asleep, I managed to slip away from his grasp and get into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, and chopped off the casts. That probably woke him up, because he rushed into the bathroom and looked at me with wide eyes once he saw the casts on the floor.
      “(Y/N)!!! What are you doing?! You need the casts so you can heal proper-” I cut him off with a kiss, knowing well what he was going to say afterwards. I held either sides of his face with my mangled, twisted, crooked fingers, and looked deep into his eyes. His sigh tickled my lips, and he looked back at me when his hands wrapped around my waist. “I just… I hate seeing you this way. I just don’t want you to be hurt.” I dare not say how I’m already hurt. “It pains me to think about you like this, let alone see you. But promise me this-” I hate promises. He knows this. “-You’ll be careful.” That’s the worst promise of all. I just give him a simple nod, and he knows I’m lying, but he doesn’t push it. “Now what are you doing? Why’d you cut off the casts?” My eyes light up at this, a smile spreading over my face.
      “We’re going wandering!” I lightly grab his hand, because my fingers are still barely mobile, and tug him out.
      “What? No, no, you can barely move! I can’t let you do this, (Y/N). I can’t let you do something when I know it’ll hurt you.” He slowly pulled me to a stop, and I could see the worry in his eyes. 
      I sigh, and look up at him. “This will make me feel better, Yoongi. I promise I’ll stay in bed for awhile after, but please, just come with me.” There’s conflict swirling around his eyes, his brows furrowed in concern. He’ll say yes, I think. Knowing him, and him knowing me. His head makes the tiniest movement upward, and that’s enough for me to pull him out to Combine. I hop in with a grin, and speed out of town with my hand in his. I roll the windows down, and crank up the radio until the sound speeds out the windows and into the open air.
      “So where are we going again?” I could faintly hear Yoongi’s voice yell over the booming music, and I looked over to be met with the smile that could cure my seemingly never ending sadness.
      “I don’t know the name, but I call it the bookmobile park! There’s a bunch of mobile homes- actually, you’ll see when we get there!” I laugh as the wind licks at my cheeks, my hair flying all around. This is what life should really be like, I thought. Something worthwhile.
      We drive about thirty miles away from town, and finally, we come up to about half a dozen old mobile homes sitting in a barren field, with nothing around it for miles. I smile and jump out with him, racing him to the park. I follow him into one that has his favorite genre painted on the outside, the letters chipping and peeling away. I’m surprised he could even understand what it said. He gathers up some books, all with worn covers and damaged pages, and I smile once I see the familiar childhood titles.
      “My brother would read these all to me when I was younger. We would go back and forth with the lines. He’d read one, and I’d read the next. I memorized all of them, and he called me crazy for it. Hell, I probably still have them memorized.” I can’t really imagine having something like that happening to me. He’s my everything, just like his brother was to him, and I couldn’t bare the thought of loosing him. But it would happen sooner or later. Rather, sooner than later.
      We’d gathered up a pile of books, and went to pay. The owner, an older woman, let us off for free saying that we were a “Cute couple, and they get things handed to them.” Then we realized that we had to leave something, so we left twenty bucks anyways and a few cigarette butts we had earlier. We packed all of our books, and sat in the car. I realized how much I love him. I realize how much he cares. But I realize that I was a mistake, a walking, talking, living, breathing, fuck up. I should be dead by now, I should’ve jumped, or stopped holding my breath, or had too many pills. I realized all of this, so I got in Combine with him, and I told myself: Just drive.
      He picks a place now, called the Painted Rainbow Bridge. I let him drive, and we speed off to find it in Indianapolis, not giving a care in the world. We pass a cigarette back and forth, and finally, after three cigarettes and more than one hundred songs, we find what we’re looking for. I get out and walk with him, a sharpie hidden in the pocket of his sweatshirt I’m wearing. We walk over to the more hidden side of the bridge, and I pull the sharpie out and hand it to him.
      “Time to do some cliche teenager move.” I laugh with him as he scribbles his name down, and I shakily position the marker in my bent fingers. He holds my hand to help, guiding it along to spell my name. God, I’m going to miss him. Anyways, we walk our way along the bridge, reading all of the old love notes scrawled out on the sides. Swinging our hands back and forth, we race each other back to the truck, which ended up with him carrying me like a newlywed because he was worried about my back. We left a banged up tin of Altoids under it the bridge, along with a dented can of beer. He drove us back home, and he stayed the night with me, starting up a warm bath for my joints.
      I need to end this, I thought. I can’t let him know.
      Later that night, we made a fort in my empty closet, and he saw all my post-its hanging on the wall. “What are all of these?” Reasons to die.
      “Oh, I just wrote them down in case I wanted to use them for a song. In that case, here, I have something for you.” I rummaged around in an old shoebox before I found what I was looking for. I had thrown together all the songs we listen to while we’re wandering onto a cassette tape, as well as a whole other one with songs I wrote for him. “I don’t know if you’ll really like them, but I threw them together pretty quick.” A kiss was all I needed from him, as I moved to his lap, so I could feel how much I actually mattered to him, so I could feel the desire he had for me.
      Later, we tore down all the sad, miserable, and painstakingly true notes, and we replaced them with notes of love, and happiness. Two emotions that I learned now that I had Yoongi with me. Once he falls asleep, I look up at the old, glowing, sticky stars that are on the ceiling.
      “Maybe not today,” I sing. “Maybe not today, because he cares. They say every life is important, but only one person cares about mine. It’s the first breath of air you get when your head’s been drowning underwater, that’s love.”
      We let Yoongi go home tonight, after giving him many kisses and dancing for him just to show that I was all okay. I couldn’t sleep that night. So, I went to my bathroom and slid open to mirror to find all my pills. I had some pain killers and sleeping pills that my sis gave me, earlier in the phase where everything was aching. I pour all of the pills out into my hands from both bottles. 22, 23, 24… 24 in total. What happens if I down 24 pills? I didn’t know, so I tested it, doing 12 at a time. I felt nothing for a bit, but then it hit me, the aching pain in my head, how reality was slipping out of my reach, black dots trying to cloud my vision. No, not yet, I told myself. I didn’t get to tell him. Crawling to the toilet, I shoved two fingers down my throat, pushing them in and out, until every last little pill was floating in the water. I flushed them down the drain once I counted another time, just to make sure. Well, that was easy. Maybe I’ll leave that way.
      I wake up in the morning, or more like late afternoon, and quickly blast some music so I could function a bit more properly. Later, I logged onto Facebook to see where we’d be going today.
Me: Got any ideas Sir Minty Yoonglz?
Yoongi: Surprisingly, I do. There are these two roller coasters some junkie dude built in his backyard. I think he’s kinda old now, but I called him to check if we could come, and he said we could. We’re supposed to be there sometime around 4 o’clock, so you’d better get ready because I know you just woke up. 
Me: You’re saying I just woke up? You were still asleep and just woke up from the notification and you know it! 
Yoongi: Yeah yeah, whatever (Y/N).
Me: Love you too~
      After getting ready, I packed up a few strawberry and cream cheese sandwiches and some cold root beer for supper. When two arms wrapped around my waist, a smile found its way onto my face. I tilted my head up and kissed his cheek, smiling up at him.
      “Ready (N/N)?”
      “Indeed, Minty Yoonglz.” We walked out hand in hand, and he drove us off to Bruceville, off to meet the junkie genius named John Ivers, who built two fucking roller coasters in his backyard. Now that’s talent. It takes us a while to get there, but it was definitely worth the wait. They weren’t the giant, eighty feet tall kind, they were only about fifteen feet tall, and really short. But the second you got on, it was the most fun you would have had in a long time.You go up and down, through all the twists and loops, in a super short period of time. It really gets your blood pumping, to know that this thing might fall apart any second, and hey, maybe that’s how I’ll die. Having a coaster cart crush me as I fall fifteen feet down to the ground, or maybe the seat belt isn’t secure enough, and I’ll slip out and hit my head too hard. We both take turns, going on and off, and then we try the Blue Flash Too. That one isn’t nearly as fun as the original, so we go back to it. We ask John a few questions while I scribble some notes down, and doodle a few pictures of the coasters down. Later, we drive off to a field and eat the supper I packed.
      “So babe… Tell me about your brother…” I could tell how his body froze a bit underneath me, and I knew I should’ve just left it alone. Typical, stupid (Y/N).
      “Well… His name was Seokjin. Though, everyone just called him Jin. We were driving back from a party one night, and we were fighting in the car. I told him to just take the bridge, even though it was bound to be icy. He did it just so I would shut up, just so he could make me happy… T-the car crashed up against the side of it, and… I was the one who lived… God, I should’ve been the one who was driving, I should’ve died, I should’ve just let him take the damn road! I should’ve jumped.” My heart slams into my stomach at that, my arms wrapping around him tight.
      “You’re too young to die. You have too much ahead of you, too many great things that will get you ahead of life’s threats. You’ll get through this Yoongi. Trust me.” Trust me, I thought. Trust me, just this once. Because it’ll be me, not you. I really couldn’t take this, knowing what would happen to him. I know he should’ve stayed away, but really, his life would’ve been worth more to save then mine. So now we’re here. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t be alive, he should be all okay, with a better girl, and a better life, and everything would be okay. I wouldn’t have dragged him down with me, he wouldn’t have even known I had existed, I’d just be the girl who killed herself. And I’d be okay with that, if I didn’t meet him. And that’s been the best and worst decision of my life.
      We finally get home, splitting our different ways. I sit at my chair and  look down at the combinations of black and white keys, and I slowly play some chords, letting the sound float around my room. Then I sing. “I can change my mind each day, changing how I live, but I still remember your birthday and your brother’s favorite song. I didn’t mean to wear you, so I’m sorry. I’m sorry I treated you like shit, I’m sorry for not believing you loved me. Someone will, but someone isn’t me.” I stay up the rest of the night, move all of my stuff into a corner, and pull out some paint. I cover the walls, painting it all black. I take some chalk and scribble down a note for someone on the wall, and I take everything out of the room. I keep a few blankets, and I spend the night in my closet, emptying all of the clothes out of it. I stay up, looking at the glow in the dark stars, just thinking, maybe I could become a real one tomorrow.
      I was supposed to be at school the next day, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t anywhere. Because I was everywhere. During our lunch break, My computer and phone both started blowing up. Yoongi was worried. He didn’t have to be.
Yoongi: (Y/N)? Where are you?
Yoongi: I haven’t seen you here all day.
Yoongi: I know it was something I said.
Yoongi: God, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I didn’t mean any of the things I said last night.
      Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot to mention, but after I told him that he had too much to live for, a fight broke out. See, once again, all my fault. Just like everything is.
“Who are you to tell me what I have ahead of me?! He was my everything! I’m nothing without him, I don’t have anything left of him, and he was my best memory. I should’ve died, I should just go kill myself, maybe I’ll just crash this damn car, and go out like him! Maybe it’ll look like an accident, just like us.”
      I had never seen this side of him, but he obviously doesn’t like it. I hope he’s okay. I love you, Sir Minty Yoonglz.
      He went to Charlie and Violet, thinking that they would know. No one really knew.
      “Do you two know where (Y/N) is?” I can just imagine the worry in his eyes again.
      Charlie actually looked up from his phone for once, and calmly explained what he thought had happened to me.“Oh, she’s probably just off doing her things again. She’ll be back sooner or later, don’t fret. It’s just her.” I won’t be back.
      “Aren’t you at least a bit worried about her?”
      This time, Violet spoke up. “Really Yoongi, don’t worry. She’ll be okay, she just randomly travels sometimes, no one really knows when it happens or where she goes. But she always comes back.” Not this time.
      It had been weeks, months, even, since anyone had last seen me. Same for Yoongi. He had gone out to look for me, going back to every wandering place, back to my house, seeing every note I had written. He knew he was hot on my trail, seeing how every hint I gave was still fresh. He was still a bit too slow, though. He had finally come back to the place where everything was made official, where everything started fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. Where the first butterflies had come in, where the first kiss had happened, where we had shared our first tears together - The Blue Hole. Quickly, he dug through the old, crumbled dirt, looking for that old tin. Finally, he found a mound of disturbed soil, and he pulled out the tin. Everything was still there and intact, except for the added Polaroid of us in front of the Blue Hole, and a note, a small note that read:
      To Yoongi, aka Sir Minty Yoonglz.
I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. You were my one and only lover, my first and my last, the only one who cared, and the best and worst decision that ever happened to me. I didn’t mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind. You worried about me too much. No one else worried enough.
From your lover, (Y/N), aka (N/N).
      That’s when he knew. That’s when he knew that the tears hitting the paper weren’t all some part of a terrifying nightmare, or that this wasn’t all normal for me to do, or that this wasn’t all a prank that would have over a million views on Youtube. That’s when he knew.
      He knew when he saw my body, floating lifelessly in the water, on the other shore of the Blue Hole. That’s when he knew he was too late, and that he had just missed me.
      That’s when he knew he lost the single thing that he had cared about.
      That’s when he knew he lost me.
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