#ugh i hate my school

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty? #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

[jirai-kei-freak]

idk I just hate how mean everyone is, especially my generation :(

#Yeah yeah ik it has always been this way #And probably always will be #But damn people are just cold and hateful for no good goddamn reason #And social media certainly isn’t helping #I just feel so embarrassed when I’m out and I’m wearing anything that’s not general clothing #I’m always so afraid someone will take a pic or photo of me and post it on social media to laugh at me #And honestly it probably has already happened a few times #For example in middle school I didn’t have earbuds at the time (I refuse to use those devil airpods) #So I would have my music at the lowest volume possible and put it up at my ear to listen to it #Since 5th grade I’ve been a huge fan of Vocaloid and I’ve been listening to it non-stop for years #And I’d do it at school and… #Yeah you can probably guess how kids were #Wouldn’t be surprised if that got filmed/photographed #And I’ve been mocked/humiliated so many times for being autistic ugh #Vent #emma.txt

[shittycronusdaily]

cro and kankri work ar fast foof and shenanigans ensue wirh mituna and latula

#i just got my naikd taken off and its so gsrd to tupe sry #first and only rare paper drawing i hate the eraserr marks UGH #anyways paper bc school is poo and i dont gave time #shitty cronus daily #homestuck #kankri vantas #cronus ampora #do u guys know what canes is ?? #gen wuestion cuz i know its not everywher

[b3achysurfur]

oh!

#yo this mf almost makes me as mad as Logan does #like deadass can’t stand him #he makes himself to known but he got nun to show for it #he’s like a bug bite #the fight between him n Logan was hard cuz i didn’t know who to root for #both they asses annoying 🤦‍♀️ #anyways ik we’re meant to hate him bc he’s bad n wtv but he’s so UGH #just the way he acts #Like if he was gonna be a bully he could at least be FUNNY #but he’s not #He’s so corny #someone put his ass outside and lock the door behind you #Let him go camping or some shi #just get him out my face #Pls #sbg #school bus graveyard webtoon #school bus graveyard #schoolbus graveyard #sbg (webtoon)

[tricksterlatte]

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind #fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once #god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit #oughhhhh #even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio #which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed #now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable #and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame #features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral #and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP #even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh #not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk #if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me #and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired #unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more #why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers #there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place #and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things. #maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either #I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time #but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy #it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care. #I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife

[fandomsandfeminism]

Is there anything worse than the gap of time between submitting an application and hearing back?

#i havent resigned here and wont if I dont get any bites #so its not even like AH MY BILLS #but like..... #ugh #i hate applying for jobs #its just anxiety #im very qualified and very good at this #any school would be lucky to have me #but i dunno maybe im a fraud #maybe im an unsociable lacker who no one would want to work with #who knows

[honeysunchild]

Parents really will have kids on purpose and then spend the next twenty or so years punishing that child for being alive and having needs

#i hate my parents #i hate my mom #ugh 🙄🙄🙄 #why is everything so difficult w theeemm #and about really basic level stuff too #like tissues and school books and needing a doctor #bc my foot is literally BROKEN but bitch still wants me to walk or drive myself everywhere #and god forbid the doctor say I need to spend money to get better #nooo #no no #ghaaaahh #parents really will ruin everything even when u thought there was nothing to ruin in the first place #don't u worry boo #they'll find a way #when i can financially support myself its over tho #I'll drop them so fast and hard they won't see it coming #like BAM BYE BYE ASSHOLES #BLOCKED

[imflyingfish]

shout out to all of the artists who just dont really have ocs or blorbos. literally what do we even draw most of the time.

#ughh #bro i just felt shakey and sick because i contemplated drawing #its the same feeling i had when i did maths in school #i feel bad because i should be good at this i should draw everyday and i should be constantly improving #and while im not really improving my art at home i am certainly improving technically for work #so weirdly enough although ive done the least amount of art in the last year or two that i have ever my improvement has #has been very oddly massive. #but ive also stopped improving in certain areas and god knows my rendering hasnt improved #but i also... hate rendering a lot #so :/ #well no. not completely #anyway whenever im like 'i should draw' the only things that i can draw #are either from reference or its just my own sona in many different styles that i cant decide on #ugh

[her-midas-touch]

Oh would you look at that. I’m sad. You’ll never guess why 🙄

#its fucking school ugh #maybe I’m overreacting but the way that place immediately sends my mental health spiraling:(( #i hate this so much I’m actually gonna cry wtf #ari says things (existential crises ensue pray for me y’all 😭) #anyway yeah not the most cheerful of my posts but things feel kinda shitty rn #ari yells at the void

[raymondshields]

Man, knowing that I'm less than two weeks from my last final is really shaking me because I have so many things I said I'd do after I graduate and they're very close now!!!

One of them is going to be leaving all the discord servers I don't talk in and also pruning following / friends lists like hell and back. This will allow me to finally come off invisible on discord, and it'll be nice to have discord statuses available to me again ;~;

#sg.txt #for context I do not currently feel safe coming off invisible on discord #because there's this one guy in the one uni club i was in for a while #who has some fucking grudge against me for NO REASON #and since i would like to not be accused of seriously abusing them again #(they have me mistaken for SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY) #i have not spoken in that server or come off invisible in months #graduating means i can leave all those servers and then the fucker can't track me down anymore #it's also why i started looking for and then changed my url #and i'll also be updating my website domain as well! #then the only thing i have left to change is my email which i can't atm #because i need gdocs still #but ugh it'll be nice. that club was a great idea until they refused to kick that person out after they levied false accusations against me #i hate not standing my ground but it was so not fucking worth it #getting rid of all that shit will be nice #like bye university friends it was fun for a bit but i'm movin on now #(boston's foreplay long time starts blasting) #actually yeah lmao my graduation playlist consists of #boston's foreplay / long time; alice cooper's school's out; piko's the glorious unseen; and megurine luka's no logic #don't need any other songs just those four #wild #in other news i got wacup working

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok-B'Elanna dynamic at its core to me is Weird Girl on Playground vs Girl Who Walks Right Up To Her & Says "You're Weird." while everyone else just heavily implies it. Also, the reason Seven/B'Elanna works so well is their weirdgirl 2 weirdgirl communication Also 2) Seven is going THROUGH it with Janeway...Janeway is Seven's Popular Girl Friend who's sort of being condescending to you but also is genuinely trying to be nice and also there's a lesbian undertone to all your interactions as she tries to get you to submit to a makeover and that relationship will be with you forever and you'll never be able to fully say it was good or bad - yet it haunts you. Seven's relationship with B'Elanna is thinking "I hate her boyfriend so much I could treat her better" so hard that her head explodes. You know Tom did something at/before prom and Seven swooped in. You know this to be true. B'Elanna thinks Seven is so pretty and why would she even hang out with a loser like me? Why be a weirdo when you could just be popular Miss Perfect??? And they have this sort of antagonism but understanding of one another even as they keep pissing each other off and being annoying.

#Seven/B'Elanna is weirdgirl4weirdgirl #Sorry to say but Janeway is SO the popular girl who is nice to nerds but also plainly thinks of them as little projects v_v #Also not sorry to say but Tom is so 'B'Elanna you're like WEIRD you're not at ALL like other girls you're like WEIRD and I love it you're #like literally CRAZY you're the WEIRDEST girl ever not like all these other normal boring girls we should date' #I saw someone shipping B'Elanna/Kes at one point and you know what? I'll tell you something: Weirdgirl4Weirdgirl yet again - Bug girl Kes #Anyway Tuvok & Janeway are preps (evil) sorry v_v #Tom is the rich kid who dresses like he's not rich and keeps saying like no guys my DAD is rich but like ugh I hate him I'm not ABOUT that #fake glitz & glam life but you KNOW it's kind of an act...like it's kinda not but also it is. #Harry is an everyman...he's the TRUE nice popular kid #Tom is explaining D&D to him and Harry's like 'Hey dude YEAH absolutely~!' #Tom explaining D&D to Janeway-Tuvok and Janeway-Tuvok keep sharing little looks. Janeway's like 'haha cute~' and Tuvok's like 'ew' #B'Elanna/Seven will have a computer lab romance. The computer lab was B'Elanna's spot but suddenly Seven transfers and is ALWAYS in there #idk why this turned into a highschool au - who knows #this started as a metaphor but no its serious now this IS the high school au

[disdaidal]

So, I met my nurse today and she said I'm finally getting scheduled for the ADHD testing on Dec 18th—after all these years. Albeit she said that it may not change a thing, but it's good to test it anyway.

I also had a discussion with my teacher today about my problems and we went through some stuff, and I might feel a little bit more enlightened about some things, which will hopefully help me.

Still. I'm having trouble with planning some stuff at my workplace because the staff there simply doesn't have time, and my instructor is also a very busy person (plus she's fussy and impatient and a little upset/disappointed with me which is not making it any easier for me), so that is still giving me a lot of stress right now.

So, I don't know. On the other hand, one teacher says I'm doing a good job and that I shouldn't quit. Then again, this particular school and their style of teaching simply might not be the thing for me and I expressed that concern today as well. I need help getting through with some stuff and nobody has time for me, so it's obviously not good.

I also need to find another place to train soon and that workplace would have to be something where I wouldn't have to manage 15 things at the same time and well. Finding that could be a challenge, too.

But. I suppose we're going somewhere.

#personal #last week i cried twice after a workday #and my nurse also mentioned today that i still have a learning disability which will definitely make things harder for me #but also that there's nothing that can be done about it so... great #so i mentioned this to my teacher and she wrote it down but #basically there are only two choices for me now #either i pass this training somehow and plan my displays at my current workplace so well that i never have to do this again #or i will only complete my training for this period and then find another workplace and do my displays there #i can't postpone them much later apparently or so i understood. so they are not giving a lot of choices there really #and we did talk about me considering another school as well #where i can spend more time in the classroom actually learning things and less time working and trying to study at the same time #because this clearly isn't working for me. i can't do two things at the same time. not well at least. and i want to do well #but i tried applying for that kind of school in this field last summer. i didn't get in & i was 8th in line #i would've gotten in working with kids instead. but that school was further away and i probably would've found it even more stressful #than what i'm doing now #so i don't know. this is so fucking stressful for me honestly #like i like what i'm doing but i also really hate what i'm doing because this also requires stuff from me that i am simply not good at #and i'd have to put extra energy into it but i don't have much energy in me right now tbh #ugh

[skunkg1rll]

🦨

#ughhh someone pointed out the atrocity in my face. i hate thatfeature of me so bad #and now i cant stop thinking about it and i hate myself and my face and i got bad feelings #because throughout my entire life i've been so bullied for it #i feel so ugly ugh!!!!!! i am ugly i wanna cry who could ever love me when i look like this skksksks #the worst abt having a face deformity is that it is on your FACE!!!!! i cant hide it #it's out there for everyone to see #and i cant remove it. i can get plastic surgery etc but i cant afford that at all now. maybe when i have a job :((( #and it really is so big in my brain. i notice it constantly #i cant look at other ppl without checking their chins to see if it's smooth or not #and most ppl have normal chins. pretty much everyone has a normal chin!!!! #i wish i was normal too. i hate looking like this i hate it so bad #it is so unfair that i gotta be stuck w this ugly fkn feature but everyone else gets to look normal #so unfair so unfair it makes me so angry #why did i get the worst genes ever i cant stand having to live my life being this grotesquely ugly #anyway.... i try to suppress it nd not think abt it but earlier today someone made a comment abt it #nd now i just wnna cry because it is soooooooo ugly and i hate it #besides yeah it made me rmbr my school years bc ppl were sofkn mean to me abt it #like im sorry i know im ugly wtf do u want me to do?!?!

[silenthillbunni]

📓🖊️🌧️🌫️

#just... ugh! im so frustrated nd need to vent a bit #sadly.. smth i havent accepted yet is that having avpd will be constant thru my life and it will have ups and downs #i had a pretty long run of not being *that* avoidant #for 2 weeks now i'm back in that suuuuuper avoidant place #like super avoidant. i dont even go for walks or go to the grocery store. or send emails to my teachers (important!!!!) #i cant look at anything thats important. i dont even clean my room T-T #this is the 2nd week im skipping school which is v bad. nd i havent done anything on my assignment in the course i need to finish in march #i dont open messages or reply to anyone bc i just cant it gives me too much anxiety #im simply avoiding EVERYTHING #and it's such an awful place to be stuck in i hate it so so so so much #worst part is I HAVE NO FKN IDEA HOW TO BREAK FREE!!!!!!! #i've never gotten any treatment for my avpd nd there is actually no information or research online so idk how to handle it #i just wait and simmer in this fkn.... sucky ass soup mess nd wait nd wait #until suddenly it just loosens nd i can start doing things here nd there #the problem is. i dont rlly have time #i dont have time to sit and wait!!! i have time sensitive responsibilities that i risk ruin if i dont do them #i just have no idea HOW to do anything rn. bc it doesnt work to just force myself to do them #it doesn work to make lists or schedules #it suxxx that there isnt rlly any treatment or accessible tips for how to deal w avpd bc im rlly... #im alone... out in the open sea... no one around as far as the eye can see... no life raft. no help skskksks #anyway #ig all i can do is wait nd *try* to do small things as much as i can nd hope i'll get less avoidant soon #i just hate this so much. i always feel so awful nd terrible nd it's so bad ugh

[bigender2]

aaaaaaaaaaaghhh sees my gpa and frowns

#i mean i still have this whole year but oh my goddd #i wanna go into geology but idk if ill fucking be able tooo #i wish i didnt stay home as much due to mental illness fuckking ughhhhhhhhhhhh #like its literally just because im not at school as much as i need to be. #its my own fucking fault #ugh i hate thinking about this shit its terrible it makes me so stressed goddamnit

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak #who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad #and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur #research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a #bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way #i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit #i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like #i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt #wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide #stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the #predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing #i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh. #i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just #send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel #ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart #ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run #this body into the ground. like the good old days. #unrelated