#ugh i love her actually sincerely

[llycaons]

okay I thought about the similarities between jfm and jc's unrequited crushes who prefer their 'servant's' company to their own and it looped around from being tragic to being really funny again. jc pined after wq so clumsily and unsuccessfully with the stupid fucking comb she didn't care about because SHE AND HER FAMILY WERE POLITICAL TARGETS AT THE TIME and HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER AT ALL and she 100% always preferred the company of wwx, who was genuinely fun to be around, as intelligent and selfless as she was, understood and respected the delicate political position she was in, treated her like an individual, knew what was important to her, helped her family, and sacrificed everything for her safety. wq literally would rather have lived a doomed life in a starving refugee camp with wwx and her family than accept a marriage proposal from jc, jc wq shippers how does it feel to be fucking clowns

#you can say that decision was just for her family. but you could tell how much she loved wwx too and how little she cared about jc #he sucks to be around and whoever is in his life just needs to be someone who's inexplicably into that and it is NOT wq #she has her own shit she can't be babying him and soothing his self-esteem issues!!! the cultivation world had her family in a death camp #like WHAT would be the appeal here???? 'he cares about his family like she does' actually he publicly denounced his brother who is her #really good friend so...????? no?????? do they think she thinks he's hot??? isn't that a little superficial??? #his sarcasm and prickliness don't gel with her sincerity and guardedness. she wouldn't like his joking roughhousing and she's more mature #than all that anyway....also I can't think of a single time he even looked wen ning's way pre-ss and wn is THE most important person to her #and its actually disgustingly ooc to see how jc wq shippers just act like he doesn't exist. bc what they can't pretend he'd get along with #wn effectively? but that's wen ning!!!! how is she married to someone who doesn't care about him or even hates him! #WHERE'S THAT POST LIKE #jc: lady wen may I rub thine feet? feed you grapes? #wq: uhhhh #wwx: hey wq! #wq: wei wuxian! *they do a 15 step handshake* #jc: okay guys I'll just be uhh. over here #wwx and wq: laughing together #UGH she was so great. travesty of the century that she died like that for the emotional development of a male character!!! #I really do like wq tho I don't really know what to say about her. she was a solemn character who knew her ending far before anyone else di #and didn't fight it for her own sake only for her family's #I just hope she was able to be at peace in the end. it seems so cruel that she was ripped away from the only person she truly wanted #to be with forever #ALSO her entire thing is repaying debts!!! which he categorically FAILED to do!!! she wouldn't respect that or find it admirable/attractive #he probably looked like a fucking impotent self-centered coward. which he WAS! SHE SAVED HIS LIFE!!!! #cql txp

[selamat-linting]

i should really hang out with more indo wrestling fans (they actually got other nia jax stans here)

#yeah i like her. sue me lol #i like her moves and she hasnt injured anyone in months and its not like anyone working with her is making interviews or vagueposts about it #unlike certain guys including my own faves. she's literally not in the worst scale of worst ppl and yet the hate she got is overblown #one of the classic GOATs in wrestling actually beats his wife and one of the newer fan favoriters who still got fanfic written about him #injured literally two brothers in the same year and made rape comments about a girl and he never get as horrible backlash that nia gets #and if anyone wants to come at her for being antivaxx there are male stars who are still loved despite being a flat earther #worst past is i see this double standards on bloggers who i expected to know better..... maybe theyre not so in touch with the rumor mills #but cmon. do you ever question why the girls bad marks tend to be more well know than the guys? #ugh. some of yalls support for women's art seems superficial ngl #compared to my indo wrasslin friends and when they like women #they just make fancams about how cool their girls are and how they should win and it seems 100 times more sincere than the yuri moment #posting i see on tumblr #fandom wank

[airbenderedacted]

The fact I can never tell if the woy fandom has improved its media literacy when it comes to Lord Dominator or nah is so terrible jtncvcjsbsbmn

#i mean ykw i blame a lot on the fact that woy is OLD and like.. who even rewatches it a TON ton #let alone that closely #but like. the way it feels like ppl watched her every scene with their eyes closed (or fixated on nothing but her body) is insane 😭 yeurgh #she is literally so straightforward #some of the takes ppl have on her remind me of those #''UGH wander is so STUPID i wouldnt be surprised if his pacifism were literally selfish & malicious he's so shitty!!!!!!!!'' #takes you'll see in like.. youtube comment sections or on the occasional tumblr post euurhghghghhh #like bruh these characters are VERY SINCERE but at least with wander u have the fact that his naivety is a total ruse #like i understand stuff like that tripping people up on stuff in some ways bc he's really really complex despite how simple his motives are #but dom is like.. she has really interesting complexities but not in a way where they're important to delve into to get the character #but naw people will actually be out here thinking that she lives to be sexualized 🤢 and likes men or is angsty or redeemable or hrGDHBVbfG #LIKE WHAT!!!!!!! WHAT!!! WHAT THE FUCK??! granted some of those are way less insane/bad than the others #*beats the lesbiphobes with a brick beats the lesbiphobes with a brick beats the lesbiphobes with a brick* #but BROOO euwiahshdhqnshshajahds #her character is literally just.. ok take wander. replace his love for helping ppl w/ love for hurting ppl. delete he angst. THERE DONE. #THAT'S HER TYHAT IS LITERALLY HER AT HER CORE HER VERY CORE AHSHANABXSN. THEN JUST ADD HER PERSONAL QUIRKS/LIKES/SKILLS IN & THERE U GO #bully personality on steroids and crack and ten THOUSAND energy drinks. just the most maniacally fucked up guy imaginable #funny opinion: i thjink maybe the only woy fans who r good & sane when it comes to her.. #r the ones who LOVE her for being Fucked Up & the ones who haate hate HATE her for beign Fucked Up.......... evry1 else is so scary /hj #ok that's silly.. but also fr everyone who 'loves' her for [insert gross shit here] or hates her for [insert blatantly false shit here] 😨 #SCARY!!! but anyway ok that's enough negativity dhdjndn in writing all this i really feel assured that things actually ARE better now #like whether or not people actually get the character or not is whatever :o #(at worst it's just like.. a bummer bc u miss out on sm fascinating stuff irt the mains & the world's logic & character development & aAA) #we're finally free of the constant influx of stupid horrible sexist opinion pieces about Dominator !!!!!!!!!! #and of all the folks who marched up to frank & craig all ''YOUR SHOW SUCKS & IS BAD BC SHE CLEARLY ONLY EXISTS TO BE A LOVE INTEREST!!'' #maybe i have enough insane ppl blocked to never see stuff like that but JSBFBDHSS nobody's wrong about her in a shit idiot way anymore 🙏🙏 #now it's only ever like.. wrong in a way that is bad and kinda sucks but like whatever :O #btw this is all me speaking very very generally (sans the specific examples) & any tumblrs this could pertain to r inactive or long blocked #(& this wasnt even written w anything frm tumblr in mind 2 begin with; i've been reading somE TAKES on LD & Wander lately and mMmvj..) #(hence that v specific example of yt commentary on wander i gave earlier.... bad LD takes are wAy more common but MY GOD 💥 in 2023!?!😭)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: “-so we have TONS of angel-killing weapons now, thanks to Vaggie! Who had a lovely… Errrr. Fight?”

Vaggie: “It was pretty one sided. Call it a training match.”

Charlie: “She had a lovely training match with Carmilla Carmine! Who repeatedly kneed and kicked her in the face, which I’m not allowed to get upset about, because Vaggie isn’t upset about it!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh that sssounds… Pleasssant?”

Angel Dust: “Of course the one time Saint Sapphic isn’t pissed is when someone actually beats the crap outta her.”

Husk: “Wha’d I say? She’s got issues.”

Niffty: “Kneed in the face by Carmilla Carmine!?” (wistful sigh) “Lucky…”

Husk: “And you’ve got even worse issues, somehow.”

Vaggie: “Meanwhile, Charlie was off singing herself up a whole army in Cannibal Town.”

Charlie: “I wouldn’t call them a whole army-”

Vaggie: “They barely fit inside the hotel, babe.”

Charlie: “-and I wouldn’t really call it mine. Alastor and Rosie helped!”

Vaggie: “Did they give you the cannibal army?”

Charlie: “Nnnnoooo… I mean they did introduce me, but I had to do the convincing part myself.”

Vaggie: “Then it’s your army.”

Charlie: “Huh.”

Charlie: “…..hm.”

Vaggie: “Feels kinda nice, doesn’t it?”

Charlie: (giggling) “Maaaybe a little~”

Angel Dust: “If yous two LBs start kissin’ about the literal man eating army now under ya sway, I’m gonna be sick.”

Vaggie: “Aren’t you supposed to have zero gag reflex?”

Angel Dust: “That’s for sex stuff, Vaggitales. This is sappy and sincere.”

Husk: “A word that’s barely in your fucking vocabulary.”

Charlie: “Now Husk, you know that’s not true-”

Angel Dust: “Oh it’s true baby! But I’d be sucha a gooood little school boy if ya wanted to try teachin’ me, Purrrrfessor~”

Husk: “Can we feed him to the cannibals.”

Charlie: “No!”

Vaggie: “If they get sick before the big fight then we’re all dead.”

Angel Dust: “Hey!”

Sir Pentious: (SNIFFLING)

Charlie: “Oh oh Pen! Don’t be scared- no one’s feeding anyone to any cannibals!”

Vaggie: “Well. We’re not feeding anyone from the hotel to them…”

Charlie: “You hush, beautiful. Now there there Pentious, what wrong?”

Sir Pentious: “Nothing issss now! But EVERYTHING wasss, while you and missss Vaggie were fighting!”

Vaggie: “We weren’t-”

Charlie: “That was just me being-”

Vaggie & Charlie: “...”

Vaggie: “Sorry, you go-”

Charlie: “No no after you!”

Vaggie & Charlie: “..…..”

Hotel Crew: “….”

Vaggie: “Charlie had good reasons for being angry-”

Charlie: “I wasn’t angry! Or, not the way I THOUGHT I was? It’s complicated-”

Vaggie: “Valid. Reasonable. Way more forgiving than called for.”

Charlie: “If I’d just TALKED with you like you’d WANTED-”

Vaggie: “You didn’t want to. That’s fair.”

Charlie: “I guess, but. It wasn’t fun.”

Sir Pentious: “No it wasss not!” (crying) “It sssseemed as though you were ssssplitting up! L-leaving ussss! It wasss! DREADFUL!!���

Charlie: “Ohhhhh nooooo we would never-!”

Vaggie: “The hotel thing is kinda bigger than one relationship, Pentious. We’re not giving up on you guys.”

Charlie: “-and that’s also why we’d never break up.”

Vaggie: “Never’s a long time sweetie… and three years was a long time too.”

Charlie: “Not with you it wasn’t. And forever won’t be either.”

Vaggie: “…”

Angel Dust: “If you cry, I really will throw up.”

Vaggie: “Shut up.”

Charlie: (hugs vaggie) “See, Pen? You don’t have to worry about us, okay?”

Sir Pentious: “Okay. Y-essss.”

Charlie: “Shh sshh, please don’t cry…”

Sir Pentious: (wailing) “I can’t help it!!!”

Vaggie: “Hey, how come HIS tears aren’t vomit worthy but MINE are??”

Angel Dust: “Cuz he’s a sad snake boy in a top hat that cuddles with eggs, and you’re supposed to be tough as nails and impossible to fucking break, Vagina. Seein’ ya as being anything other than gay or pissed? Stomach turning. Yuck” 

Husk: “You’ve got issues too, dumbass.”

Angel Dust: “I know.” (preens) “But they look GOOD on me~”

Sir Pentious: (snuffles) “It’sss jussst so good, sssssseeing you two the way you sssshould be! Ugh.” (dripping) “May I borrow a, a tisssssue, Niffty?”

Niffty: “SURE-”

Husk: “You don’t fucking want that or to know where the fuck it’s been. Here. Napkin.”

Sir Pentious: “Thankssss!”

Sir Pentious:  (LOUD NOSE BLOWING HONK)

Charlie: “Better?”

Sir Pentious: “Much, yessss. But how did you manage it?”

Charlie: “Manage what?”

Sir Pentious: “Fixssssing thingsss between you! After it wasss so bad!”

Husk: “Without any alcohol, even.”

Sir Pentious: "Or exssssplossions!"

Angel Dust: “Yeah toots, three years of not sayin’ she was an angel is a pretty big shit pile to have dropped on ya, even in hell.”

Niffty: “YEAH VAGGIE! HOW MANY SOULS HAVE YOU KILLED?!”

Vaggie: “Thousands.”

Husk: “FUCK.”

Niffty: “OoooOOoohhhhh~”

Angel Dust: “Now that’s a body count. Like, not a good one but. Wow.”

Sir Pentious: “Sssee? And now Charlie isss hugging you! How iss that possssible?”

Vaggie: “… I don’t… I, gave her space….”

Charlie: “She’s Vaggie. I already knew who she was.”

Husk: “Exorcist.”

Angel Dust: “Liar?”

Niffty: “Mass MURDERER heheheh…”

Charlie: “My partner.”

Sir Pentious: “I don’t underssstand! Did ssshe sssay ssssorry?”

Vaggie: “Sorry really wouldn’t cut it.”

Charlie: (laughing) “She helped me start the hotel- and run it- and get my dad’s help talking to heaven, and- more things than I can count, honestly! Doesn’t that say enough?”

Sir Pentious: “Oh… ssso wordsss are not… what mattersss?”

Charlie: “They can matter, but it’s what we DO that makes them mean anything.”   

Sir Pentious: "...what we... do?"

Angel Dust: “Like how heaven and it’s angels say it’s all full of great people up there but then they go an' leave us all to rot and die, yeah?”

Charlie: “Vaggie didn’t."

Angel Dust: "Score! Hell's got ONE angry lesbian on it's side!"

Charlie: "And I won’t either.”

Hotel Crew: “…”

Husk: “Are we done. I need a drink.”

Vaggie: “Y-eah.” (hoarse) (clears throat) “That’s where we’re at now. Any questions?”

Angel Dust: (raises hands) “Husk has one!”

Husk: “Fuck you no I don’t-”

Angel Dust: “Sure ya do babypaws. What the FUCK-”

Angel Dust: (points at Vaggie’s wings)

Angel Dust: “-are THOOOOOOSE???”

Vaggie: “…Those are my wings. Asshole.”

Angel Dust: “Bitch~”

Husk: “Motherfucking dumbasses.”

Charlie: “Angel please, it’s rude to point like that! And to um. Say the other part also- but that’s okay I know you mean it in a nice way!”

Angel Dust: “An’ what about Saint Vagatha huh? She called me shit too! Was that her bein’ nice?”

Charlie: “She-”

Vaggie: “I’m nicely not stabbing you.”

Charlie: “-she’s trying her best.”

Angel Dust: “By not stabbing me?”

Husk: “Now that’s impressive as hell.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Angel Dust: “Hmph. Lucky a guy can take pride in people wantin' to stick stuff in him...”

Sir Pentious: “Vaggie? Pleasse pardon the quesstion, however I ssssseem to recall you sssaying you didn’t HAVE any, ah, wingssss?”

Niffty: “Or tits!”

Vaggie: “They grew back.”

Niffty: “Did your t-”

Vaggie: “Niffty-” (groans) “Look, there’s a cockroach over there. Go hunt, kill- whatever.”

Niffty: "KILL KILL KILL-!"

Charlie: “Aren’t her wings AMAZING! LOOK AT THEM!!! You guys have no idea how soft-! wait they what? Grew back?”

Angel Dust: (grinning) “What about your-”

Vaggie: “Ask about my tits twice in one day and die.”

Charlie: “They were gone? You weren’t just hiding them- Twice?”

Niffty: (on vaggie’s shoulder) (checking down her shirt) “Nope! Tits still missing. Nice pecs though!”

Vaggie: “………”

Angel Dust: “She said it, not me!!”

Vaggie: (SIGH) “These are the people I’m about to risk my life for.”

Charlie: “I feel like I’ve missed something important..?”

Husk: “No you fucking haven’t.”

Angel Dust: “So oh heavenly cunt, what the fuck did ya do with Carmine to get the feather dusters reinstated?”

Vaggie: “No idea. Uh- Thought gay thoughts about Charlie? I guess?”

Charlie: “Awww~!”

Sir Pentious: “Aww!!”

Vaggie: “And mostly non-violent thoughts about the rest of you.”

Niffty: “Booo…”

Vaggie: “Anyway, since Lute didn’t use heavenly steel while tearing them off my back, I guess they just needed time to heal up or whatever.”

Charlie: “I’m SO gonna send a thank-you note to Carmilla for helping you with… tha….”

Charlie: “….tEARING? She, Lute-”

Vaggie: “Not now. Tell you later, babe.”

Charlie: “BUt- I’ve met her TWICE and you didn’t say-!”                   

Vaggie: “Let’s focus on finishing debriefing the troo- the friends for now. ‘kay?”

Charlie: “I…”

Angel Dust: “I TOLD YA IDIOTS IT MIGHT BE A SENSITIVE FUCKING TOPIC!”

Husk: “Then why the fuck did you bring it up!?”

Angel Dust: “My mouth likes to be open and stupid shit comes out of it sometimes- I dunno!”

Vaggie: “Yeah well I’m so not about to start spilling the gory details in the hotel lobby. The cannibals are already starting to look hungry. If we’re up to date on the mission statement and current crew resource management situation, then-”

Niffty: “Hey Vaggie, Vaggieee.”

Vaggie: “What.”

Niffty: (giggles) “Did Lute steal your tits too?”

Vaggie: “….”

Angel Dust: “…what? Don’t glare at ME about ya blindly obvious shortfall in that depar-Tit-ment-”

Husk: “Shut up before she fucking tests some of her new shiny weapons on you.”

Vaggie: “Don’t give me ideas.”

Charlie: “Why is everyone talking about my girlfriend’s breasts. She got her wings ripped off and suddenly has them back, and we’re all just, talking about bra size???”

Angel Dust: “Toots, if she wears bras, it’s gotta be just so’s she looks good for you.”

Vaggie: “I’ll take that compliment.”

Angel Dust: “I wasn’t sayin’ it as one-”

Vaggie: “Change your mind or lose your hair.”

Angel Dust: “-you’re a very loving lesbian and ya make Sappho the OG herself proud.”

Vaggie: “Better.”

Sir Pentious: “E-excusssse me!? Thisss, sssssadistic Lute person iss, ssssssomeone we will be fighting against..?”

Vaggie: “Yeah but I’ll handle her, don’t worry.”

Charlie: “wHAT!?”

Vaggie: “I said, I’m the one who knows how she fights anyway, so I’ll-”

Charlie: “YOU. WILL. NOT-”

Demon Charlie: “-NIFFTY DON’T YOU DARE STUFF THAT DEAD COCKROACH DOWN MY GIRLFRIEND’S SHIRT!!!”

Vaggie: “AUGH?!”

Niffty: “Aww.”

Angel Dust: “Oh that’s nasty.”

Husk: "Hreaugh." (hairball noise) “Whatever’s wrong with you, Niffty, never EVER fucking tell me what it is.”

Niffty: (waving cockroach) “It’s just for padding~ You know what they say! Every little bit helps! Right?”

Charlie & Vaggie: “NO!”

Niffty: (CACKLING)

Sir Pentious: “…..thisss isss, sssssso beautiful….”

Husk: “The fucking cockroach?”

Sir Pentious: “No. Them.” (wipes tear) “They’re ssstill, hugging.”

Angel Dust: “Yeah... It’s almost sweet enough to make a guy puke.”

Husk: “Almost?”

Angel Dust: “Well I’m not gonna ruin the mood for them by actually puking!”

Husk: (smiles) “Uh-huh.”

Angel Dust: “Plus, think of my boots! What if they got splashed on and shit?”

Husk: “Right.”

Angel Dust: “And Niffty’s doin’ good work breakin’ the tension and grossin’ them out anyway…”

Husk: “Mm-hmm.”

Angel Dust: “….And. It’s nice to see ‘em bein’ cute again.”

Husk: “…..”

Angel Dust: “….because it was weird when they weren’t and maybe, MAYBE, I was worried.”

Husk: “There we fucking go. Good boy.”

Angel Dust: “!!!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh that sseems to have cheered him up immenssely..”

Husk: "Fuck."

Angel Dust: “Oooh~ Nauseous to horny in less than a second? Damn, Purrrfessor. That’s a new record even for me~”

Husk: “Fuck no.” (fleeing)

Husk: “Alright, I’m opening the fucking bar! Come get your complimentary we might all be dying together soon drinks- and nobody fucking DARE ask me to use body parts in them. This isn’t fucking Cannibal Town. My drinks are good enough without fingers or eyeballs floating in them or whatever.”

Cannibal crowd: (grumbles but politely ques up for drinks)

Charlie: “I think maybe we’ll pass? Vaggie? Our room, us, alone, maybe?”

Vaggie: “Are we gonna talk about stuff?”

Charlie: “I would VERY MUCH like to talk about all things now yes please.”

Vaggie: “Then I’m gonna need a drink. Husk-”

Husk: “Take the fucking bottle.”

Angel Dust: “Here, and this bottle too!”

Charlie: “Oh thank you Angel D- is this LUBE!? Already OPENED lube!??!?”

Angel Dust: “Happy make-up sex~”

Charlie: “I- Vaggie no, not the spear- thanks, Angel Dust, but I think- Vaggie I said not the spear- I think we can do without borrowing your, uh, personal bottle of- okay that’s it, up over the shoulder you go. Hup!”

Vaggie: “I’m gonna kill him! I’m gonna save him from the extermination by killing him RIGHT NOW!”

Charlie: “-and you told me to ignore you when you talk like that. Anyway, everyone else have good night with the drinks and cannibals!”

Angel Dust: "Will do, toots! You gays enjoy eatin' each other out!"

Vaggie: “Babe please just let me strangle him a little bit-”

Charlie: “Nope! We’re gonna go explore some past trauma!”

Angel Dust: “An’ each other’s bodies!!!”

Charlie: (carrying vaggie upstairs) “Not helping!”

Vaggie: (still struggling) “I don't NEED to talk about my trauma- i need to get my hands on that asshole twink!"

Angel Dust: "GET IN LINE BEHIND HALF OF HELL, VAG-GAY!"

Charlie: "Hold my hand instead?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (melting) (holds hand) "...fiiiiine."

#hazbin hotel #chaggie #charlie morn #vaggie #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #niffty hazbin hotel #sir pentious #incorrect quotes #“what happened after they got back to the hotel in ep 7-” Chaos. #i'd imagine it was chaos and cannibals and dead cockroachs #EVERYWHRE #XD #niffty nooooo

[daysofyellowroses]

honey ii

carmen berzatto x afab! reader | 1.8k | continuation of this little story right here | tw: nothing really, just some serious cuteness

request was: she like asks him to go make her something strange like a bowl of ramen with maple syrup and pickles and ofc he obliges and makes it for her but he comes back and she’s like in tears and he’s like babe here are you hungry and she’s like *gag* “no I don’t know why the baby wanted that for so long now that I smell it- I just want McDonald’s I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for wasting your time” 😂😂 I imagine he’d just be like oh babe it’s fine I can get you McDonald’s that’s fine and she’s just so sad and pregnant bc she feels she bugged him ugh so cute - from my angel @thecapricunt1616 apologies this took a little while, hopefully you enjoy it! 🫶🏻💗🌼

🐻

There are many, many virtues possessed by Carmen Berzatto that make you love him unconditionally, madly and wholeheartedly. 

He is the most loving, passionate, considerate, loyal, driven and talented person you have ever met, and you wouldn't change him for the world.

Almost.

Patience is a virtue, albeit not one always in the possession of Carmy. You've seen him lose patience in the restaurant, when things are not running smoothly at a particular moment. You've seen him lose patience at traffic lights, when he can't find his other shoe, when he can't wait for someone to call him, he has to call them.

Generally you can deal with the lack of patience, because Carm will apologize for losing it in the first place in the most sincere way and everyone involved moves on.

But..there came a day where you couldn't forgive so easily. 

Things had been going well with Carm since you first sat up on your kitchen counter and asked him to undress you, a memory you often dwell upon. At first it was pretty casual, seeing each other occasionally for some very fun stress relief, then it turned into more. Neither of you had initiated the big conversation, it was like a silent understanding that you were both only seeing each other, and were both committed to that.

You gradually moved your stuff over to Carm's, the easiest move you'd ever had. Going across the hallway and merging your life with his was surprisingly simple. You fit together perfectly, everything seemed to be smooth sailing.

Until you hit a bump in the road.

Not the worst bump, just..an unexpected one. And, you were a little to blame, even if you weren't ready to admit it.

Thanks to things going so smoothly, it made all aspects of your lives better, including your (very healthy) sex life. Morning, noon, night, didn't matter what time or what place. You'd lost track of how many times you'd almost got caught sneaking into Carm's office. So far nobody had ever discovered your little rendezvous but you figured it was only a matter of time.

Because of your flourishing sex life, you had decided to switch birth controls to something a little more effective. But, in the brief window between stopping your old one and starting your new one, there may have been a night out.

There may have been drinking, dancing, pulling each other into cubicles.

You were sure you had asked him if he had a condom on him, like..96% sure. In your defense, you were slightly (very) inebriated and slightly (extremely) horny so maybe you filled in some gaps and heard what you wanted to hear. Carm had even less patience when he was drunk so there was no stopping him as soon as you pulled him closer.

So, a couple of days later when you were sure your hangover should have gone, you decided to bite the bullet. 

The little pink plus sign that looked back up at you was so judgemental. Oh you just couldn't wait a few days? Now look at what you've done.

You weren't actually sure how you felt about it, it wasn't something that weighed on your mind. You and Carm weren't exactly at that stage yet, you'd barely even talked about marriage or kids because you were still just enjoying living together and sharing a life.

When you told him, he had a similar reaction to you, unsure how he felt. The two of you ended up sitting on the couch in silence for a few moments before one of you burst out laughing, the other joining in soon after. 

You ended up laying on the couch talking about baby names, what family vacations you'd end up on, coming up with more and more ridiculous scenarios to make each other laugh while feeling more and more like it really was something you both wanted.

It wasn't easy, being pregnant. You attempted to read some books but they were either too scientific, too twee or too hippy-ish. It got easier as the months went by, as you adjusted to waking up to a slightly bigger bump every other day. 

Carm loved it, you discovered. He would stand behind you when you looked in the mirror, your hands touching your bump. His hands would move over yours, his head on your shoulder. He would kiss your neck, tell you that you were glowing as his hands wandered and you would remind him how you got into the situation in the first place.

Most of the classic pregnancy things didn't really happen for you until much later, your brief window of peace interrupted. The baby started kicking, morning sickness came full throttle, and you developed very..unique cravings. Personally, you had always thought the cravings people had were being exaggerated, how could someone suddenly want pickles in ice cream or oranges with gravy when they would never dream of it before?

But then they hit you, and you were frankly a little impressed with your baby’s requests. One of the many perks of dating Carm was that he was always happy to let you be a guinea pig for his latest creations, and when you started craving some more..unique meals.

You wanted spaghetti with plums and melted chocolate in it? He made it. Didn't matter how unusual, Carm was in the kitchen before you could insist the cravings would pass.

Some were more of a hit than others, but you always appreciated his endless patience for your strange requests. Particularly when it was late at night and he'd had a long day at the restaurant. 

Occasionally, you got hit with a craving in the middle of the night, choosing to ignore them or sneak off to the kitchen yourself to avoid waking Carm. A couple of times, he woke up anyway and would come shoo you out of the kitchen to finish making your latest creation.

You would have completely understood if he ended up losing patience with your more frequent late night kitchen trips, but he never batted an eyelid. 

Then, one night, you fully expected him to just snap, because you knew you would have in his shoes.

It had been a bad one at the restaurant, you got at least 3 different messages giving you a heads up that Carm wasn't in the best of moods. He would never take it out on you, but you usually gave him a little space to breathe on those nights, he would inevitably come to you after his shower, crawl into bed or onto the couch next to you and hold you close, tell you how much he loved you.

So, when you heard the front door open you kept your attention on the TV, listening as Carm took his jacket off and walked down the hall to the bathroom. The shower started a few minutes later and you let out a breath. Glancing down as you felt a pang in your stomach, you smiled to yourself as you placed your hand over your bump.

“So you can sense him hm?” You murmured softly, looking back to the TV. “Well it's just you and me right now kid. So what are we feeling?”

And so you ended up in the kitchen, looking through the cabinets to find what you were craving. 

“I know, I know,” You placed your hand on your stomach as you felt a kick. “You need to be more patient, I'm not the chef here.”

“True,”

You looked over your shoulder, smiling as you spotted Carm leaning in the doorway.

“I got this, if you want to relax,” You smiled. “Won't be long.”

“Nah nah, it's alright,” Carm smiled tiredly, walking over to you and dropping a kiss to your shoulder. “What’s on the menu today?”

“Hm..just a ramen bowl,” You shrugged, leaning back against Carm as he wrapped his arms around your waist and settled his hands on your bump. 

“With?”

“Maple syrup,” You admitted, glancing over your shoulder with a raised brow. “And pickles. This kid is doing a number on my insides already.”

“Sounds good, I got it,” Carm nodded, kissing your cheek. “Go relax, I'll take it to you.”

You didn't object, heading back to the living room and getting comfortable on the couch. At some point you went to lay down and ended up falling asleep, being woken up by a gentle touch and a smell that had your stomach lurching.

“Sorry, didn't mean to do that,” You murmured softly, opening your eyes and sitting up slowly. “I just..”

Your eyes fell on the coffee table, where a perfectly prepared ramen/maple syrup/pickle bowl was sitting. 

“Oh..”

“Can't wait to get the feedback on this one,” Carm smiled, sitting down beside you and reaching for the bowl. “It's definitely a first for me.”

“Yeah,” You nodded, accepting the bowl and taking a deep breath. It looked amazing, but the smell had you wanting to throw up. “It's uh..” You held your other hand over your mouth as you felt the need to be sick, gagging a little. 

“Sorry, I just..”

“Here,” Carm carefully took the bowl and set it back on the coffee table, his other hand moving to your back.

“I'm so sorry,” You sighed, moving your hand to your forehead as you felt tears bubbling up. The smallest thing now had you wailing hysterically, and you tried to stop the flood before it happened. “It looks so good but I just..”

“Hey, don't apologize,” Carm smiled, gently rubbing your back. “It's not the end of the world. I can make you something else.”

“Well that's the thing,” You groaned, closing your eyes as the tears started flowing. “I know you can but I don't want you to, I want..”

You felt a little ridiculous for crying so much but that didn't stop the tears.

“I just really want a McDonald's.”

Carm was quiet for a moment before he burst out laughing, his head dropping to your shoulder.

“It's not funny!” You protested, wiping away the latest tears. “You just had a really stressful day at work then you come home and I have you cooking some more nonsense for me that I can't even eat and now I ask you to go get me a fucking cheap burger!”

“Fuck I love you,” Carm laughed softly, kissing your cheek and getting up from the couch. “I'll get you as many burgers as you want, just promise me one little thing?”

“Of course,” You nodded, looking over to him as you wiped away more tears. “Anything.”

“Tell me you don't have a secret group chat about me?”

You couldn't help but laugh at that, the concerned look on Carm's face going straight to your heart.

“No,” You shook your head, smiling. “I definitely do not.”

“Good,” Carm nodded, lightly rubbing his jaw before turning to leave. “Okay, I'll be back.”

“Wait,” You stood up, walking over and taking Carm's hand, smiling as he turned back to you. “I forgot to say, get something for yourself too. And then double it so I can't steal it.”

“Deal,” Carm nodded with a smile, your heart swelling in your chest. “Just maybe no pickles.”

#the bear #the bear 🐻 #the bear fic #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #ask

[myoddessy]

🎀 Harry Lewis and gf where people think they broke up bc he doesn’t post much of her anymore but she’s actually pregnant and they make a surprise announcement..? 💜

yourusername just posted !

liked by taliamar, eugeneleeyang, emilyuribee, and 2,137,891 others

yourusername w2s: the squeakquel coming to a theater near you this spring!

wroe2ynstan HELLO??????

faithlouisak one of us! one of us! one of us!

faithlouisak so beautiful

faithlouisak our baby boy will be so stunning

faithlouisak so glad I get to start a family with you

faithlouisak you're the love of my life

wroetoshaw I'm gonna block you

faithlouisak then do it already and stop complaining just because your mrs is sexy

yourusername ladies! ladies! there's enough of me to go around xx 💋💋

taliamar ugh my baby's having a baby and she's absolutely glowing, my heart can't take this 🫠😭

miniminter @yourusername she's crying now, cheers.

taliamar ITS AN EMOTIONAL TIME FOR ME SIMON

tobjizzle congrats bro 🎉🎉🎉

yourusername you're my fav

calfreezy to ask the question everyone wants to know, was it a good shag?

yourusername calfreezy, I sincerely hope you die xoxo

freyanightingale ahh the secrets out! such a beautiful mum, guaranteed to be a stunning baby boy 🥹🥹🥹

vikkstagram AYYYYYY!!! congrats 🥳🥳🥳🥳

taliamar just posted !

liked by yourusername, ksi, freyanightingale, and 115,679 others

taliamar when I first met you I remember being so in awe of everything about you, how you held yourself with such beauty and confidence no matter what. then you called me seven months ago and made me promise not to tell anyone that you were going to be bringing another beautiful soul into the world. y/n, you will be the most incredible mother in the world, because you're already the most incredible person in the world. I'm tearing up typing this because seeing how much you've changed and grown is so hard-hitting for me, but know that I'm so so proud of you, for now and for always. love you, angel 💞💞💞

yourusername TALS 😭😭😭😭 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME WOMAN??? ITS NOT HEALTH FOR ME TO BE CRYING THIS MUCH. you're literally my soulmate, I will do anything for you, my love ❤️❤️

taliasminter proud to say that this has been my fav friendship online since the beginning

faithlouisak just posted an instagram story !

wroetoshaw just posted an instagram story !

#harry wroetoshaw #wroetoshaw x reader #wroetoshaw #w2s fic #harry w2s #w2s imagine #w2s x reader #w2s #sidemen imagine #the sidemen x reader #the sidemen #sidemen x reader #sidemen #miniminter #zerkaa #ksi #tobjizzle #behzinga #talia mar #faith kelly #freya nightingale

[kurooo-is-here]

Oh, I got an idea! Drayton x Reader and Lacey x Crispin, the reader and Crispin want to get their crushes to finally confess to them but they're taking too damn long! They team up and pretend to be dating to get both of them jealous >:) (And Drayton in the end loses his cool! Le gasp!) (Could u also get Crispin and Reader to almost kiss? THX U)

LMAO this one was so fun to write! Drayton is definitely more jealous while Lacey is calmer and mature.

Drayton x Reader and Crispin x Lacey

You and Crispin have been besties for years now, so of course you two talked about your crushes!

Crispin sighed and said he couldn't get himself to confess, so he was hoping Lacey could do it first to save him the trouble-- but she hasn't, even after all this time, despite showing interest in him! And he's never had to courage to go up and talk to her properly about his feelings. Poor guy...

Meanwhile, Drayton was always conveniently avoiding the subject, making jokes to change the subject. One time, he even just dozed off for no reason in the middle of you talking! Goddamnit toothpaste boy!!

You and Crispin devised a plan: pretend you're dating each other to get the two of them jealous! What could go wrong?? :D

It started with you leaning on Crispin's shoulder and holding his hand in the halls. No one was really surprised by this sudden display of "affection", since you two were already long-time friends. It was the perfect excuse.

Drayton and Lacey didn't say anything at first, but they definitely raised an eyebrow at you two-- so you decided to turn it up a notch.

One day in the clubroom, you loudly proclaimed that you loved Crispin sooo much, you just wanted to smooch him right now! As you leaned in for the "kiss", Drayton quite literally put his hand between your mouths to stop you.

"Uh, guys. No kissing in the clubroom." Drayton said, crossing his arms. His tone was surprisingly calm, but you knew better than to be fooled by that. He was about to lose his cool.

Crispin grinned at you knowingly and pushed further. "Whaaat, is someone jealous?"

Drayton's smile dropped. The entire room went silent as everyone noticed his demeanor. "Haha, what if I am?" He asked, tilting his head. "..What if I think you're trying to play me for a fool?" His icy tone sent shivers down your spine, despite not being directed at you.

"GAH! You saw through our plan?!" Crispin blurted, putting his head in his hands. "Ugh, Y/N! I thought we had him!"

The tension seemed to lift slightly. Drayton smiled again, though his smile looked... strained. "Ah, so you did plan this?"

Lacey walked over too, much to Crispin's dismay. "Crispin! You shouldn't play with people's hearts like that, it's just not right!"

Lacey looked at Drayton, and they both nodded. "Crispin, we'll decide a suitable punishment for you later." Drayton said.

Crispin nearly fell out of his seat. "W-Wait, WHAT?! But this wasn't all my idea, Y/N was in on it too--"

Drayton put a hand on your shoulder as he glared at Crispin. "Believe me, I know." Somehow, Drayton's touch felt oddly warm. Lacey had to drag Crispin out of the room to have a talk with him, leaving you and Drayton alone at the table.

"Drayton, I really am sorry about all of that... I don't actually like Crispin that way." You said quietly. "I understand if you're upset."

Drayton just sighed. "Apology accepted, as long as you don't do it again." He said, sitting next to you.

Suddenly, a realization dawned on you. "Wait... you agreed with Crispin earlier when he asked if you got jealous.. does that mean-?"

"Bingo!" Drayton replied. "Though I never imagined the confession would happen like THIS."

He laughed and leaned closer to you. "But... from now on, you're my treasure. No one's gonna get in the way of that."

His tone seemed sincere this time. It flustered you, seeing him so serious.

Seems like Crispin got his happy ending too, because he came back to the clubroom with a kiss mark on his cheek and a big smile on his face. You both celebrated by yelling "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!" before Lacey ran in to tell you two to lower your voices.

Turns out, Lacey had given Crispin a pretty stern talking to, but she got a bit frustrated and had to sit down for a moment to collect her thoughts. Crispin sat beside her and they had a talk for awhile about their families and futures, at which point Lacey finally admitted she had feelings for Crispin.

Drayton may or may not have challenged Crispin to a battle later, and Crispin may or may not have lost horribly after Drayton unleashed the fury of his Pokemon. Oops.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon drayton #pokemon lacey #pokemon crispin #crispin x lacey #pokemon drayton x reader #kuro writes

[elliewilliamsismommy]

Jealous!Ellie where she’s trying to deny her crush on the reader but they start getting “friendly” with some guy.

Like Ellie starts seeing them doing things her & the reader did. Or the reader having a framed picture of him beside a framed picture of Ellie.

With a happy ending please

“what do you have a thing for me or something?”

a/n: okay so this has basically no plot and this is the first fic that i’ve actually tried on so i really hope you like it :) we’ve basically just got some jealous ellie sprinkled in so i hope this is what you were kind of asking for lol

word count: 2.5k (hehe)

warnings: smut MINORS DNI, top!ellie (mostly) x bottom!fem reader (mostly), strap on usage (fem receiving), oral sex, fingering, jealousy, squirting, some degrading, lots of praise (i’m a whore for that shit), idk it’s really filthy sooooo you get the gist. AFTERCARE TOO!

*

ellie’s favorite thing was your sleepovers. whether you were up all night talking and watching movies or fell asleep at eight after a long day, it was what she loved most. and the best part of it all was when she would wake up in the morning before you. the only time where she could admire you without you catching her stare. the sun shining onto your face through the curtains, your lips parted, it was so peaceful. but you were friends, nothing more. at least that’s what ellie told herself.

it was also the only time when she could touch you how she secretly wanted to. in a domestic way, almost. small gestures such as a leg against yours in bed, tucking your hair behind your ear while you slept, and the best back massages you would ever receive. she told herself that all friends do these things, it’s normal. but deep down, she hoped that you had the same feelings for her that she did for you. a burning desire to talk to you whenever you waltzed into a room, longing for you while you were out on patrols. it was almost pathetic how she felt about you. but she would never act on it.

“good morning, els” you croaked.

“how’d you sleep?” she replied.

“pretty good. what time is it?”

“it’s around 7.”

“shit!” you jumped out of bed and threw on your clothes from yesterday. “im late for patrol with elliot. will i see you later? you should come by my place and we can watch a movie or something.”

before ellie got a chance to respond, you were out the door.

“fuck…” she muttered.

*

you stomped up your wooden patio footsteps, creaking with every move. recounting everything that happened on your patrol, overthinking what you could’ve done differently. you were covered in dirt, sweat, and blood, and all you wanted was to watch a movie with ellie. you removed your old, leather boots and headed to your bathroom to get in the shower. once you were squeaky clean, you got into your pajamas and laid in bed when there was a knock on your door.

“it’s ellie” the person stated.

“thank god you’re here. come in,” she opens the door and hops on your bed next to you. “i’ve been looking forward to this all day. what are we watching?” you sighed.

“how was patrol?” ellie questioned, taking your leg into her hands and rubbing circles in the sore flesh and muscle. she had magical hands. you always told her that she was a masseuse in another life. she made her way down your leg and to your feet, not breaking eye contact with you. your eyes rolled back in your head and you sighed.

“patrol was- ugh… that is orgasmic. i love you so much right now, ellie” she blushed.

“love you too, y/n” she smiled, saying the words more sincerely than not.

“patrol was good. no close calls or anything. elliot’s a solid partner. he’s actually really strong which surprised me based on how scrawny he is. saved me a few times if i’m being honest. he suggested some movies if you are interested?” you answered.

“i’m glad. surprised you guys even got anything done based on the fact that he’s obviously got a thing for you.” your eyes snapped open at the statement.

“what are you talking about? he does not!” you replied defensively. ellie took your hand and focused on your eyes in a sarcastic, sympathetic way.

“he totally does. whenever you are doing anything around here, he’s always giving you the eyes. it’s disgusting, really.” she said as she held her chest, faking being sick.

“sounds like someone’s jealous.”

“i am not jealous.” ellie whispered defensively.

“aw! you’re getting all red and flustered. what do you have a thing for me or something?” you teased.

“what would be so bad about that?” she mumbled.

“are you for real? el… what are you doing?”

smiling at the nickname, she moved her hand from yours to your cheek, admiring your eyes, your mouth, your face. her eyes shifted back and forth from your eyes to your lips, signaling what she wanted.

“can i please kiss you?” she begged. without hesitation, you nodded. she moved her other hand to the back of your neck and closed the space between you. softly, sweetly, savoring your taste. you never thought that maybe you had other feelings for ellie - she was your best friend after all. but it all clicked in the matter of a kiss. you grew needier, and you both sat up on your bed. her hands ran through your hair and you kissed until you couldn’t breathe. ellie broke the kiss for air, but you quickly leaned back in for more. you couldn’t get enough of her, and she knew it. you climbed into her lap, grinding yourself into her.

“y/n” she groaned into your mouth as you pulled away. “are you sure you want this?” she asked as she placed her forehead to yours.

“yes, ellie. i want you. please.” you pleaded.

she smiled as she kissed you again. this time not so gently. she pulled at your hair and ran her hands up and down your body. her scent was intoxicating and her chest heaving up and down brought you back to reality. being with her was euphoric. all you wanted was more. she slid her hands down your torso and began to nip at your neck. she grabbed at your shirt and pulled it up off your body, along with your bra.

“oh my god. you are so beautiful.” ellie explained, lustful grin filling her face. she grabbed at your chest and began to kiss down your body.

“not so fast. you turn to take some clothes off. i wanna see you too.” you urged as you grabbed the hem of her t shirt, demanding her to take it off. with your assistance, her shirt dropped to the floor, revealing that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

“you have no idea what you do to me.”

the room became filled with sweat, heavy breathing, and soft moans. both of you began to buck your hips against the other. ellie started to become needy, begging to give you the pleasure you deserve. she headed down to your sweet spot, leaving open mouthed kisses down your body. she rubbed over your clothed slit, giving you some relief.

“please, ellie.” you heaved.

she removed your shorts and teased you a bit more, running her hands up and down your thighs. you began rubbing your legs together begging for some friction, growing more and more impatient by the second. she forced your thighs open though, not allowing you to provide yourself any consolation. finally, she removed your lacy underwear and you gasped as the cool air met your sensitive skin. she spread you apart and smiled, staring at you like she had been waiting for this for forever.

“damn, y/n. you are soaked and i’ve barely even touched you. what a dirty little slut. just begging to get fucked.”

a shiver ran through your body, eager to hear more dirty words come out of her mouth. she ran her first finger up and down your aching hole, focusing her other hand on your clit as she began to rub soft circles. your moans filled the cold night air. finally, she sunk two fingers into your cunt, enjoying the squelch from your juices. with her first thrust, you were already squirming. she used her other arm to steady your hips, preventing you from moving.

“stay still, baby. you look so pretty like this.”

she reinserts herself with two fingers and places her mouth on your little bud, sucking hard.

“o-oh my f-f-uck! ellie!” you screamed.

“yeah, you like that sweet girl?”

you nodded ferverishly. she continued licking up and down your dripping pussy, picking up the pace in her fingers. you began to feel a coil form in your stomach. ellie could feel you getting tighter, clenching around her fingers. realizing that you needed just a little bit more, she removed her fingers and mouth from you and pushed her tongue into your cunt, focusing her thumb on your clit.

“ellie! oh my god. i’m g-gonna cum! please don’t fucking stop!”

she shook her head and moaned into your pussy as you reached your high, not stopping or letting up in the slightest.

“e-el, i’m s-so sensitive. please!” you squealed as your legs began to shake. eventually, she slowed down and rubbed your clit gently, allowing you to calm down.

“holy shit, el. i think i might actually love you.” you laughed breathlessly, her deep chuckle following. she removed her numb hands from you and licked them clean, shaking them to try and gain some feeling back.

“you gettin tired, els?” you asked with a fake shyness on your voice.

“definitely not. you wanna go again?”

“is that even a question?” you hopped off of your bed, legs still shaking, and opened your closet door, grabbing a box out of the top.

“is that what i think it is?” she asked nervously.

“yep. it’s a strap. i want you to fuck me, ellie.”

her body went numb along with her hands. she had dreamt about this moment, praying that she could show you how it felt to be properly fucked.

“you sure it’s me you want fucking you? what about that dickhead elliot? i’m sure you’ve thought about having him inside of you, fucking you from behind. how do i know you won’t be thinking of him?”

you quickly became flustered. ellie would never have suspected that you had actually been thinking about her fucking you breathless for months.

“elliot means nothing to me. i’m gay. like, really gay. especially now. actually, i’ve thought about you like that before. fucking me from behind like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. like you live for it. so, please. please fuck me, els.”

you opened the box and revealed the long, purple silicone. you helped her slip on the harness and tighten to straps so that she was as comfortable as possible. as soon as she was situated, she felt a rush come over her body. an overwhelming need to be in charge. suddenly, she grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at her with your innocent, doe-like eyes.

“don’t look at me like that. get on your knees” she spat at you harshly. you did as told, lowering yourself to face her groin. you took her into your mouth, licking up and down the shaft, giving enough friction so that she could feel it rubbing against her clit.

“fuck…” she groaned, beginning to thrust herself into your cavern. slowly at first, gradually picking up her pace. spit dripped down your face, tears flowing from your eyes. you began to gag on the cock as she forced it deeper down your throat with each push in and out. her hands gripped your hair, pulling and tugging, trying to balance herself. her breaths became more and more erratic, and the sight of you on your knees in front of her with your sole purpose of bringing her pleasure led her to her climax. her chest heaved up and down, releasing a loud, whiny moan as she came. she sat down on the bed, gesturing for you to follow her. silence filled the room as she calmed down from her high.

“are you okay?” she asked with care, breaking the silence. she wiped the drool and tears off of your face, letting her hands linger there for a second.

“yes, ellie. i’m fine. great even. just relax, babe” you explained as you took her shaky, sweaty hand into yours, connecting your foreheads once again. her breath slowed as you comforted her, stroking her hair and rubbing your thumb along her jawline. you pressed a soothing kiss to her pink lips, savoring her taste.

“you’re so beautiful.”

she leaned back in, connecting your lips softly once again. the way that she just went from fucking your throat to kissing you reassuringly practically gave you whiplash. or maybe that was just her. but you both felt at peace. you smiled into her mouth and she pulled away.

“what are you smiling about?”

“i’m just happy. that’s all” you giggled. she ran her hands down to your thighs, squeezing gently.

“im happy too. can i show you how happy you make me?” she asked nervously.

instead of answering, you pushed her back against the wooden headboard of the bed and straddled her lap, looking down at the sheath of silicone, which was still covered in your saliva, attached to her hips. with a lustful grin, you took it into your hands and guided it to your hole. slowly, you brought yourself down on it, allowing it to fill you up completely. your breath hitched when she thrusted upwards, her thighs meeting your ass.

“oh my god, ellie” you whined as you began to ride her dick. getting faster with every thrust, she pulled you in for a kiss, her lips traveling down your neck and leaving little marks everywhere they went. she drew soothing circles onto your back and grabbed your tit with the other hand, giving you even more pleasure. sweat dripped down your body, mixing with hers. you grabbed onto the headboard for balance and soon felt a familiar sensation building in your core.

“fuck e-ellie i’m gonna cum-“ you screamed as you felt her in your stomach, prodding at your g-spot with every movement up and down. she stared at you for a moment with her jaw hung, admiring the masterpiece in front of her. she wanted nothing more than to bring you the pleasure the you deserve, so she began to thrust against you from below, holding you against her to get a deeper angle. she took her other arm and rubbed your little clit, making you even more sensitive. soon enough, your body began to tremble. your toes curled as you came to your release, moaning out a pornographic sound. your vision blurred and your entire body tensed up as you soaked her torso and the bed in your fluid.

“holy shit” ellie exclaimed with concern.

you fell onto her chest, heaving on top of her as she comforted you on your way down from your high. she left small kisses on your shoulder and ran her hands through your hair, removing the sweat from your forehead. once you came back to reality, you left a sweet kiss on her lips and rolled off of her lap and onto the other side of the bed. she followed, cuddling up to you from behind.

“i’ll be right back, okay?” she whispered into your ear and you nodded and mumbled an “okay.”

when she returned, she had a bottle of water, a hair tie, and a damp washcloth. she gestured for you to sit up, and she kneeled at the edge of the bed, handing you the water and tying your hair up messily. generously, she rubbed your legs clean with the rag. you took it out of her hand and began to wipe down her stomach, which was also covered in you.

“i’m sorry, els.”

“please, please, please don’t be sorry. you are gorgeous. don’t ever apologize for that. next time we will just have to put a towel down under us, okay?” she laughed.

“i love you, ellie.”

“i love you too, y/n.”

#ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #tlou x reader #ellie tlou #the last of us #tlou #wlw post

[patentedsun]

You guys I'm actually crying over chapter 204.5 (which is technically an ad for a certain company we're all boycotting btw) but ignoring the actual ad THE STORYLINE WAS SO??? GOOD???? the Natsu characterization in this was INCREDIBLE (be prepared for intense 100yq hatred) and it portrayed exactly why I fell in love with nalu in the first place....

Summary and analysis below (doesn't incl all the pages btw!!)

We start off with Lucy finding Natsu and Happy at her place, as always.

this is followed by him being like "do you think we'll peek or something" which... 100yq natsu would have... that IMPOSTER...

Anyways while she's taking a bath, Natsu and Happy are browsing around Lucy's room and find a book that stands out. (Btw right next to this book is her diary, 100yq natsu would've gone straight for that). However they end up accidentally destroying it and start panicking. They ask Lucy if they can "borrow it" and Lucy panics at first, saying it's precious and not to touch it, but relents when they say they found it "interesting".

fast forward, we see them worn out after trying and failing to find a replacement copy. ONCE AGAIN, they're doing this because it's something precious to LUCY. Not because they care about reading, or because the book has any value to them, but because they understand it's important to HER. Natsu (and Happy) going the extra mile for things that are important to Lucy is SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART of their entire dynamic.

continuing, Lucy walks into the guild and asks how they're finding the book, they say it's interesting. Lucy gets SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS and starts talking non stop ab the book. Happy asks her why this book is so important to her and...

Y I K E S.

So yeah, they ultimately decide that lying isn't it and they should apologize upfront.

this is so beautiful to me, idk like the imagery of them bowing so sincerely is so.... and like wow MASHIMA seems like natsu IS capable of acknowledging his own wrongdoings and offering genuine apologies. I'm not even talking ab the whole post tartaros situation no, I'm talking about fucking 100yq, where natsu actually physically hurts Lucy and doesn't apologize for it (AND IN FACT ITS PLAYED FOR A GAG)(IMPOSTER!!! NOT MY NATSU!!!)

Soooo Lucy doesn't take it well and runs away.

the fact that they didn't stop their search here. the fact that they EXPANDED it to other towns to try and find her the book THIS IS JUST <3333

Anyways, Lucy returns and reveals dozens of copies of the book...

My heart actually broke for her here because as someone who ig creates stuff as well, it really can be painful to have no audience interaction. And to have a book you wrote bomb like that...ouch... and of course she would've been excited, her best friends told her they found it interesting!!! my HEART. OUCH. and the sheer guilt on Natsu and Happy's faces here 😭 Once again, 100yq would've played this off for a gag...

And they all start bawling (and the ad comes in so I will stop there) but YEAH. THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL??? The way she's regretful too, the way they're still trying to apologize and make her feel better I'm :(. This is what makes nalu work and it feels like mashima is forgetting that ab his own work... they're both genuinely good and kind to each other... like not to get sidetracked but there has always been goofy fanservice moments but there were also so many wonderful, emotional, complex scenes with them with depth and maturity and I just feel like that's lacking now. So reading this was like getting punched in the face srsly because wow... THIS is the natsu I know and love ugh .....

#fairy tail #natsu dragneel #natsu #lucy heartfilia #nalu #natsu appreciation #pro nalu #lucy heartfilia appreciation #seriously i got so emotional over this #100yq rant #anti 100yq

[njpuckbunny]

Heyy! Could you please do some friends to lovers (smut) with Kirk? Like, mutual pinning but they’re both idiots so the band helps them get together (sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language)

Cuz That’s What Friends Do, Right?

Kirk Hammett x AFAB!Reader (y/n)

a/n: I LITERALLY LOVE U SO MUCH FOR THIS PLEASE THIS IS MY FAV REQUEST EVER. I HOPE U ENJOY IT <33

warnings: mutual pining, p in v, unprotected sex, greasy kirk era , sir kink, dominant!kirk, sub!reader, afab reader, smut, and metallica being a matchmaker

holy shit.

“I have some big news guys,” you began, ready for your band's input on this news, “we’re gonna be opening for Metallica for their new tour.”

A mix of anxious and happy remarks filled the room from the rest of your band.

Your lead guitarist replied to your information with a slightly rude comment, “is this just because you fuck around with Kirk, or did we actually earn it?”

You were seriously taken aback by her comment but replied quickly, “Me and Kirk are nothing but friends, and I'm sure he mentioned us, but we earned this spot. Pack your bags to meet at the bus station.”

Honestly, you were pretty worried about this. Being an all girl-band with yourself as the bassist and lead singer? It wouldn’t be easy to earn the public’s respect. You had been friends with Kirk ever since you stepped foot into highschool. Kirk was off to the side and calm, while you were anxious and trying to leave as soon as possible. You claim it as fate, but Kirk always said you were gonna trip in front of him anytime “cuz of his beauty.” Long story short, you were carrying your books to a new class and were looking down at your schedule when you bumped into Kirk. He helped you pick up your books and you exchanged family phone numbers. You couldn’t count the times when you told your older sister to get off of the phone trying to call her favorite rockstars phony numbers. You and Kirk called hours and hours on end and you honestly just felt like he was your better half.

So when he joined Exodus, you were more than happy to cheer him on to pursue his dreams. You both promised that whoever got more famous first, the other had to open for their band.

Right after Kirk was chosen for Metallica, you started your own band R.O.P.E. You could’ve sworn it stood for something, but you were too high to remember.

But now that you were touring with Metallica? You didn’t know if you could hide it for any longer…. yea about that. Ever since sophomore year started, you had developed a massive crush on Kirk. It wasn’t like it was obvious… was it?

Definitely not. And it didn’t matter cuz he didn’t like you back. End. Of. Story.

But tonight might change how you saw him, maybe you just see him as a friend now. Right?

WRONG

The moment you stepped onto the bus and saw his smile. Ugh, You melted. And it doesn’t mean just inside, you blushed, flushed, you could’ve sworn you developed a fever right there and melted into a puddle of nothing on the ground.

You heard whistling, and your name, and your name again,

“Hey! y/n,” it was kirk, motioning you over to the back of the bus. His leg was over an empty seat, saving it for you, just like he did on the bus home.

Yes. You guys took the same bus. Dumbass Kirk would get off at your house some days (literally everyday) and listen to cds and cassettes with you all evening because he didn’t want to go home.

Sometimes he would fall asleep with you on your bed and you’d wake up with your limbs entangled and Kirk sleeping as heavy as he could.

cuz that’s what friends do? Right?

After what felt like an hour of admiring his features, you moved your way back to the back of the bus and talked with Kirk.

You couldn’t help but notice the way your legs bounced oh so close together. You wanted your legs wrapped around his waist as he—-

“y/n?” “hello??” Kirk exclaimed as he clapped in front of your face.

“Sorry,” you sputtered, “I'm really nervous about tonight.”

He sincerely put his palm over your knee and comfortingly spoke, “you’ve got nothin’ to worry about sweetheart, you’re gonna kill it.”

You muttered a thanks and Kirk gave you a grin, god he was going to be the death of you. To combat your love for Kirk and nerves for the show, you decided to take a nap.

When you awoke, it was basically time for you and your band to get ready for the opening act. You dressed in your signature style and made sure that your instrument matched your clothes. As you turned to check if everything was in place you saw the scar that lined your bicep. When you were at highschool prom, waiting for your ride home, some jerk on the side of the road “accidentally” sliced you with a pocket knife. Just as you were about to fight back, Kirk rode up in his mom’s car and punched the guy right in the face. That was your first scar, and Kirks’ first punch. (that he gave).

In the time you were reminiscing, the time you had to check yourself was up and your band was ready to play the opening act.

As you stepped out onto the stage, you were quickly blinded by the lights and tried to blink away the blots to see the crowd. The microphone feedback whined as you approached it. You spoke loudly into it as you addressed the crowd to play your first song.

time skip to after the opening act!

You hopped off the stage and gave Kirk a pat on the back as he hugged you and told you what an amazing job you did. You thanked him and wished him is own luck before he stopped you.

“y/n I—“ but he was interrupted by the que that he should get on stage, so he just yelled as he was pushed onto the stage, “see me after the show!”

what the fuck?

And Metallica's show? Fucking Outrageous.

The way that Kirk’s fingers slid up and down on the frets as he played the solos and the way his pants rode up his form as he rutted against the guitar.

Your whole mind was flooded with unholy thoughts as the show went on.

You traveled back to the living room behind the stage as you waited for everyone to get off stage. As they piled into the room you individually congratulated all of them for the amazing performance. Until your eyes landed on Kirk….. oh fuckkkk.

You could’ve sworn that your whole body shut down right then and there. Like, how the fuck did he look so hot after playing the most tiring set??? It was seriously bothering you.

James spoke through the thick fog of tension first, “okay, Lars, Cliff, and I are gonna go wash up, see y’all later.”

You heard a click come from outside the door that was previously closed by James, accompanied with outside chuckles.

“What the fuck,” you started, “did they lock us in here?”

Kirk pulled on the door handle and pounded on the door. He nodded and scoffed to himself.

You spoke at the same time,

“Kirk—“

“Y/N—-“

You quickly apologized and let Kirk speak first.

It all came out in one fast blur from his mouth, “Y/n, before the show I wanted to tell you everything you meant to me and I didn’t think you felt like same until James locked—-“

You shut him up by pushing him up against the nearest wall and pressing your lips to his.

“Shut up—“ your remarks got cut off by Kirk picking you up and setting you down on the couch that was pressed against the furthest wall of the room.

He spoke through the silence, “tell me what you want.”

“Please touch me“

“Please what?”

“Sir.”

He nodded in agreement as his fingers trailed down your waist while he got on his knees. He pulled down your pants and threw them across the room while he took off his shirt. He grabbed your legs and placed them on his shoulders as he looked up at you from your cunt. Agonizingly slow, he placed a finger on your clit, and inserted his tongue into you.

You whined, “kirk— please”

“shhh sweetheart i’ll take care of you.”

sweetheart.

His finger began making circles as his tongue lapped your juices. Your fingers entangled his curls as he worked you up to your climax.

“Kirk I’m gonna—-“

“No,” He pulled off of you and flipped you onto your stomach while taking off his pants and your shirt.

You pleaded again, but he spoke over, “you’ll cum when I tell you to.”

Breaking the dominance he asked you for your comfort, “Do you want this?”

You replied faster than he finished talking, “yes. sir.”

“Good.”

He inserted his cock deep into your cunt, already slick from him eating you out. His thrusts were hard and snapping onto your ass. He grabbed a fistful of your hair as your back arched upon his cock. The new angle was letting him bottom out, only making you feel higher to your climax.

You began to beg, “please sir. I wanna come , so bad. Please.”

“Okay, ready sweetheart,” Kirk answered.

You mumbled an mhm and you both let yourselves go as he fucked out his climax and his thrusts became sloppy. You both panted on the large couch you laid on, smiling at each other.

Kirk broke the silence first, “I love you, that’s what I was going to say before the show.”

He looked at you with puppy eyes and you responded, “I love you too,” as you kissed him on the lips again.

A few moments when by of you two gathering the moments happiness before you heard a knock and James speak, “It’s about time you two fucked.”

#kirk hammett x you #kirk hammett #kirk hammett x reader #kirk hammett smut #metallica #metallica imagines #rock star #metal #metal head #metal imagine

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 19

Linda looks so good in this sort of not-quite-right preppy style. I think it fits who she was as a person in this time so well, and that’s one of the things I love about Linda is that she just dresses up as herself. You know? Like she wears things that are true to her and she doesn’t care if that means a mini-skirt in January or hairy pits on stage. And that confidence and introspection and happiness is so, so attractive.

And that is why they love him. (you know, besides the fact that he’s a piano prodigy or whatever) So secure. BDE off the charts.

Linda talking photography with whoever that other photographer guy is.

George: what could it be, Paul? John: jumps to answer for Paul like it's 1964 and they're at a press conference.

What do we think? John cut himself shaving? Or is it a hickey?

It ends up that John’s meeting must’ve fallen through at 1:30, so Paul is the only one gone. And it seems to me that John purposely plans this time when Paul’s gone to talk to George and Ringo about Klein. George: er, what did you want to talk about? John: er, well, just that I saw Klein, you know. . . . but I want to tell you all at once, you know, so it’s not . . . Sure, John. Cut to 1971 John talking about “doing a job” and “maneuvering” to get those two on the Klein boat. smh. sad. 

But, really, for a guy who admits to having been a manipulator since primary school, he’s so easily manipulated. John. A man who you just met cannot know you as well as a man you’ve known since you were seventeen. No matter how he flattered you, it’s just not possible. The way he said it with such conviction, too! He sincerely believes this bullshit.  

“Old Brown Shoe” is not my favorite lol but I’m so happy for George. To me, it sounds like it’s about leaving old roles, old patterns, old relationships, the beatles, behind in favor of something more exciting and fun. Good for him. 

I know this is a “yeah, duh” comment, but Billy is such a gifted musician. Instantly catching on to the stylophone, jumping on guitar the minute George is on piano. So impressive.

Ugh, the tone of voice John takes with George. They’re all messing around, as they constantly do, including George, when John decides it’s time to focus. He says, “George, come on,” in literally the most condescending voice. As if George has been the only one derailing everything out of his own immaturity and John’s finally losing his patience. I can’t. He’s not fourteen, anymore, John. 

One more quick Linda appreciation because she's so cool and so pretty and I love her so much.

I wonder if they actually did have a “tune up” as George Martin put it, after teasing him that they wouldn’t. It just cuts off from John being like “remember Bob Wooler” to them doing a take of “Don’t Let Me Down.”  

John singing “I need you” at Paul (who is very passionately shaking that maraca). Not I want you. I need you. And making These Faces as he plays the guitar. Like, to be clear, those are not singing faces. He's not singing while he's doing that. He's just doing that. He looks so horny and in so much pain. Bro. How do you do that with God and everyone watching? 

At which point, Paul decides he needs to get completely out-of-it stoned, and the most unwatchable one minute and seven seconds in all of Get Back occurs. “Grease Paint” my beloathed.

Oh, okay, George just constantly cleans his guitars. I think I remember reading an old beatlemania era article that said while John and Paul treat their guitars as tools, George loves and cares for his. 

And then we pan out as John says, “Allen Klein’s here,” and sings, “I want you so bad” in the same breath. What are our thoughts? Does John sincerely think he’s helping everyone by getting Klein? Or is it more selfish?  

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #get back

[chlorinecake]

𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐬𝐚 𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐭. 𝟐 — a riki nishimura fanfic

𑁍 ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: things don’t exactly go as planned regarding your flight, leading to you crossing paths with the mysterious airport security agent once again

⚡︎ ᴄᴡ: swearing, mentions of food and anxiety, flirty behaviors (duh), mildly suggestive nuances, ft. HANNI from nwjns

♡ ᴡᴄ: 1.2k ~ read pt. 1, pt. 3, and pt. 4 here

You double checked your boarding ticket just to make sure you were headed in the right direction. “Gate 11A, boarding begins at 11:45am, seat number 34B,” you mumbled to yourself as if jotting down a mental reminder. It was currently 11:58am, and your anxiety was on the brink of explosion. You thought to control your breathing again, but that would only slow you down. After another minute of rushing around the airport had passed, you finally found your boarding gate. However, to both your luck and misfortune, the flight was announced “delayed.”

You sighed, returning to the airport lobby.

Looking around for an idle seating lane, you took a corner seat while you waited for the attendance speaker to call you up again. That’s when you spot the TSA agent from earlier as he makes his way over, helping himself to the empty seat beside you.

How wonderful.

“What? Did they finally fire you?” You asked sarcastically.

“Hello, to you, too. And no, I’m just on my lunch break.”

“So you decided to sit by me?”

“I decided to sit in a chair.” He flashed you a phony smile before digging into his lunch bag, pulling out a plastic container of gyoza and another container of fruit salad.

“Want some? I’m sure you’re hungry, and these are really good, too” he offered, bringing one of the saucy dumplings to your mouth with chopsticks.

“No, thanks,” you lied, crossing your legs.

Of course you were hungry, but that didn’t mean you wanted to take any of his food for yourself.

“No, seriously, I don’t mind,” he continued, as if reading your thoughts. “Just try it. For me. Please?” He pleaded, pouting with his puppy eyes.

Ugh, why did he have to be so cute?

You gave in, parting your lips as he airplane fed you one of his dumplings, taking about half of the filled treat into your mouth in one bite.

Flavors of savory pork and warm spices greeted your tastebuds, the soft slippery dough melting in your mouth.

You closed your eyes, saying a small prayer to yourself in hopes that he didn’t poison you, although it'd be totally worth it for the taste.

He must’ve did something similar, because you noticed him mutter a phrase to himself before taking the other half of the dumpling in his mouth.

You tried to ignore the fact that he just ate after you, a complete stranger.

“So.” He began in between a few bites. “Where’re you headed?”

“Paris, France.”

“For love?”

“Work, actually.”

“Perfect!”

“Why’s that?”

“They put extra melon on my salad! I love melons!” He smiled into the next fork full of colorful fruit, eyeing you playfully.

You moved to zip up your hoodie all the way, assuming that his apparent ‘love for melons’ was nothing more than a sly innuendo. “You’re so sus,” you remarked.

“Not at all. My parents raised me to be a gentleman. I wouldn’t dare disrespect a lady’s modesty.”

“Right, because you’d rather swipe her panties instead,” you retorted sharply.

Fuck, you’re being rude again.

A loud silence enveloped the space between you too, not that there was much space to begin with anyway considering the closely situated chairs. He looked down at his food, before meeting your eyes again.

“I didn’t take them, y’know?”

His deep, and serious tone startled you as a sincere expression wavered over his face. The feeling of butterflies crowded your stomach right before static from the loud speaker broke the moment:

“Attention all travelers. Due to aircraft related mechanical issues, all flights scheduled between the hours of 11am and 1pm are canceled. We are offering full ticket refunds or flight rescheduling options at the check-in office located at the front of the building. We apologize again for the inconvenience and ask for your patience and understanding as we return your belongings and work toward serving you better. Thank you and good day.”

The speaker voice cut out.

This can’t be happening right now.

Riki busied himself with putting away his lunch before getting up to leave.

Something in you wanted him to stay.

“Hey, where’re you going,” you stood up and asked, fighting the urge to follow him.

“Aww, miss me already, huh? That’s sweet,” he kept walking.

“I forgot your name!”

“It’s Riki.”

“Riki,” you said again quietly to yourself, making another mental note from this hectic day.

“The one and only!” He chimed gleefully.

His long legs carried him at wide strides, so he was already at the elevator by time he looked back to see your face just one last time.

“Oh, and by the way, check the lost and found,” he smirked before entering the elevator, the shiny metal doors closing swiftly behind him.

………………………………………………………………………………….

You notified your boss and told him that you wouldn’t be able to make it in time for the business meeting in Paris tomorrow. Surprisingly, he settled for you to attend the conference meeting virtually instead. After talking with your boss, you texted your friend Hanni to see if she was willing to pick you up from the airport. You weren’t fond of most Uber drivers except this one guy named Noah. His car always smelled like peaches, and he never made you feel uncomfortable during a ride. Though, the con about Noah was that he charged a lot for his services, so Hanni was your only hope.

1:06pm

Hanniiii

1:08pm

Hiya! How’s the flight?

1:08pm

Cancelled 🥲

read

1:11pm

Would you be willing to pick me up?¿?

1:12pm

Dunno, are u willing to pay me 🤑

1:13pm

AppleCash: ____ has sent you $50!!

For la gas :>

1:13pm

Love you lots! OMW!

You knew it would take a while before Hanni arrived, so in the meantime, you decided to check the lost and found bin like Riki had told you to. Or, more specifically, the TSA security checkpoint area, where ‘missing’ and ‘confiscated’ items are held. Though, you weren't expecting anything in particular, you hoped to find the light blue panties you left behind earlier.

A nearby staff member helped you find the area in question, where you were left to search for whatever it was Riki wanted you to find. It didn’t take long before you noticed the lace underwear neatly tucked away inside a clear plastic bag, folded the exact same way. A feeling of guilt rushed over you as you remembered how rudely you spoke to Riki. You felt silly for letting yourself get so upset about something so simple. You further inspected the bag, only to find a yellow handwritten note taped to the back. “_____,” it read, with a smiley face beside it.

He remembered your name.

You took a deep breath before reading the message.

Holy crap, he gave you his number—

Buzz. Buzz.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket. It was probably Hanni, letting you know that she was here.

Riki was proving to have a strong effect on you. It was all the little things he’d done in such a short time frame that made such an impact on everything around you.

You eventually exited the airport at 1:38pm, with your sage green suitcase, empty stomach, and love letter from the mysterious TSA agent accompanying you. Making your way to Hanni’s car, you tossed your belongings in her trunk and sat in the front seat. “Telepatía” by Kali Uchis played quietly from the stereo as she hummed along to the upbeat melody. “You never fail to amuse me, Hanni,” you proclaimed, buckling your seat belt. She drove around the parking lot, taking a short cut to avoid the traffic ridden afternoon highway, turning up the song.

“Saur,” she began with her warm Australian accent.

“Wanna get dumplings?”

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Tag list: @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @ashgonedash @hachimarii @beomgyusonlywife @vixen-vivien @suganing @clxudysky3z

ᴀ/ɴ 𓂋 thanks for reading! as some of you may know, the first part of this story was intended to be a one shot, but when the people ask, i deliver!! anyways, i hope you all enjoyed this piece! ~ love always <3

#enhypen #new jeans #new jeans hanni #enha imagines #enhypen headcanons #enhypen niki #kpop ff #niki ff #niki fluff #niki x reader #niki nishimura #enhypen fluff #enhypen ff #enhypen soft hours #enhypen scenarios #enha ff

[olderthannetfic]

Nothing turns me off from a fanfic faster than a fear of emotional sincerity. There's so much irony, so many jokes, so many "ugh that was awkward" "I know right" after scenes that could have been touching had they not just been undermined, and a thorough coating of snark and sarcasm over an alarming number of protagonists. My fandom lends itself well to OCs and I've read some wonderful, one of a kind OCs as a result. I've also read a lot of the above, whatever you'd like to term that sort of story. I find it deeply uninspiring. How am I meant to be interested in a story when the author isn't? How am I supposed to get deeply invested in this thing when we have to punctuate everything with quips? Sometimes I just want a story where not everyone feels like they're saying lines for the movie trailers and memes these fics will never actually get.

There's so much potential out there in the setting for all kinds of characters. I shouldn't be able to take quotes from all of these OCs in all these different roles and have them read in that same irreverent, I-am-quipping-in-the-war-zone tone to such a degree that any line could come from all of them.

And when I mentioned this to a friend they assumed that meant I wanted boring heroes. No. Too much of anything makes that the boring, predictable thing. I want weird. Give me a very sincere hero who is also mildly out of touch with reality and talks to bugs but whose pacifism will not extend to you if you touch his loved ones. Give me a hot grandpa who's too old for snarky shit and wants to hash things out like an adult and relearns how to see the world with wonder in his eyes. Give me a heroine who's neurodivergent and nice and also really good at a handful of things that bring her actual joy instead of snarky cool girl semi-joy. Just. Any break from the latest brunette white cis culturally Christian atheist snarky cool person who always has a line at the ready and doesn't let anything get under their skin no matter how much it would be really weird for it to not matter to them, actually and how completely understandable it would be to let them feel something.

A scene that lives rent free in my head is from a fanfic now deleted, but in which two characters just talk about their trauma and have a quiet moment. The canon character is comforted by the OC without any romantic undertones or intent. Nobody makes any jokes to break the tension. They just have a moment where one person leans on someone else because sometimes life is fucking hard and you just need someone else to tell you they've been there, they managed, you're not alone, they've got you.

Most fics in my fandom don't have that much sincerity in the entire story. And this thing I loved, this fandom I invested six years into, is finally just too dull of a sandbox to play in anymore. I don't like that. Nobody's taking any risks, even one as minor as emotional sincerity in fiction, which is arguably a lot safer a place to do that than reality.

I miss when my fandom was new and the OCs were some of the most baffling people you've ever had described to you with nonetheless well-written backstories going out to do shit they believed in.

--

Sincerity is terrifying for an author.

[short-black-diamond]

"Yo, she's a pro." ...part three

part one, part two, ... , part four, part five

Again, that friend of mine suggested the idea of the reader having to suffer, and what better way would there be for wearing something sweet for the fanservice?

Your name: Yena Hideyo

warnings/summary: You tell hiori to spread his legs, you become a snake-nerd, the fans want to see you in a cutecore-dress, you threaten Chris Prince, you flip off your fans, you electrocute Otoya, Oliver and Karasu, Kunigami stares at your tits but can you blame him??, he also tells you to take off your dress btw

---

'How could you even fall for such a trick! Ugh, stupid Yena, stupid, stupid, stupid!'

As you were frowning deeply, sullying over Karasu's, Otoya's and Oliver's antics, you couldn't help but think back to Kunigami's great body.

if only you stayed a moment longer...he seemed to know Naruhaya as well, after all! No way you'd think about you and him being together in a sauna, no way! And not him sitting next to you, and you being able to steal glances at him, no no no! Especially when it seemed that he wasn't wearing anything underneath that tiny towel-

'Enough pervy thoughts, Yena! Get a hold of yourself!!', you scolded yourself as you scratched your head furiously.

Oh yeah, you were alone in your room, and Hiori wanted to speak to you. You quickly changed into a dark tank top and jeans, and just as Hiori knocked on the door were you done making a high ponytail out of your hair.

"Come in.", the blue haired boy heard, and he gulped before stepping inside. There you were, standing in the room, looking at him with a neutral face. He'd never admit it out loud, but he found you really pretty. Your eyes, so determined and knowing exactly what you like and don't like, your body, an elegant but also athletic figure, and your wonderful hair.

Hiori blushed as he averted his eyes. "Wanna take a seat? I also have some chocolate milk.", and at that, Hiori thanked you as he also sat himself into the beanbag, where Barou sat, but instead of meanspreading like the king, he sucked his legs in, hugging them close to his chest.

'Is he...making place? Why does he do that? His knees might hurt later from doing that too long...'

"You know what you don't have to collect your legs. Spread them out, sweetie.", and even though your request sounded sincere and innocent, the blue haired boy couldn't help but blush furiously.

He took a moment to realize that you didn't mean it like that, and so, he made his legs long, his feet touching the ground again. "Thanks," he muttered.

"No problem, and here's your chocolate milk!", you cheered, handing him over the small carton box. He took a sip and savored the cool, milky and chocolate-y taste on his tongue as he closed his eyes in bliss.

"Did you actually want to talk to me about us two switching places?"

"Yes-"

"Yena! I want to train with- oh, you have a guest?", Ness' voice interrupted, as the german caught sight of Hiori's parted lips.

You frowned. "What are you doing here? And knock before you step into a girl's room. Pervert.", you grumbled, folding your arms over your chest.

Ness chuckled nervously, but instead of leaving, he sat himself down. He then looked at Hiori with what seemed like a genuine smile. "You were actually pretty good out there. Hiori, right?"

The bluenette nodded. "And you're Ness."

Ness smiled. "Yep!"

Melody came in, along with Bachira who was holding her, and you chuckled. "Seems like you became Melody's favourite, Bachira."

Bachira blushed at the thought. "I'm happy to hear that. Do you really love me, Melody?- Oh, yeah, I had to give her back to you. I'm not allowed to train with her...here, you take her. We'll see each other later, Melody! Bye Yena!", and gone was the boy, leaving you alone with Melody in your arms, Ness sitting beside you on the bed, and Hiori sitting in your beanbag.

"You...had a snake?", Hiori asked, realizing that Melody's skin was blue just like his hair, but much more...vibrant and glowing. His eyes and mouth drooped when he thought about his boring baby pink hair.

"Yes, isn't she cute?", you cooed, raking two fingers over her scaled head, to which she drove out her split tongue in a happy slither.

Ness only looked at the snake with an uneasy smile. Hiori stood up and walked towards you and the snake. "May I hold her?", the boy asked, feeling some sort of familiarity. You nodded, holding Melody towards the blue haired boy and she crawled over to the boy.

"Say, aren't snakes poisonous?", the german asked as Hiori stared the Melody in wonder.

"Yes, they are. And if you wonder if Melody is too, then yes, she is also a poisonous snake."

Hiori froze as the snake in his hand slowly opened her mouth.

"However, Melody has lost her fangs during a horrifying accident, and in a few hours, she will undergo surgery to get these cool silver ones.", you stated as you fished out your phone and showed them the fangs which would be amoutated in your precious friend soon.

"Whoah...so..she can't poison us now?"

"She can. but it would only hurt her because she doesn't have fangs. That's why I'd rather have her calm than panic. I'm glad she didn't use her poison at all for the wime we were here.", you said fondly as you looked at your blue snake.

Ness nodded in understanding. 'So I'll just have to keep my distance from that snake. Got it!'

But then, something else dawned him. "Ah, you're going to Lavinho tomorrow?", he asked as he looked at you sadly.

You frowned. "What, you gonna miss me? Or are you some kind of masochist...?", you asked, taking a small step back.

Ness remembered you kicking his dick painfully as he shook his head. "No! Gosh...it's just...I wanted to thank you again for making me score that goal...if it weren't for you, I'd still be Kaiser's shadow...", the german mumbled.

you nodded. "You're welcome."

"But you didn't have to kick me though."

"Jeez, for the last time, I'm sorry!", you huffed before looking at Hiori. "Say, are you going to train today?"

"No." "Could you then look after Melody? There's something I need to discuss with Chris. Something he promised me wouldn't happen...!", you growled, as you walked out, leaving Ness and Hiori in your room.

Hiori thought about meeting your later today to talk about the player switch, and then he looked at Ness. Ness looked at him. Hiori opened his mouth to ask a question.

"So uh...are you a masochist-"

"No I'm not!"

...

"I can't believe you let me wear this...I thought we were friends!", you yelled after you stepped out of the dressing room in a pastel pink dress, your hair being styled according to the photos your fans sent you.

The english soccer player couldn't help but let a few snickers out here and there as he took in your attire.

You had high twin tails, your forehead hair being splitted to side bangs, sweet golden jewellery, with heart earrings and a heart-chain pink lipgloss, your nails were pink, your dress -as I said before- was baby pink, and you also wore pink high heels, adored with hearts.

"Don't. You. Dare. Laugh.", you seethed, and you contemplated for a moment if you should take one of your platform shoes you were wearing and hit him with hit.

'God this is embarrassing.', you thought as you sighed defeatedly. And just to your horror, Reo and Nagi stepped inside.

"Yena!-ah.", Reo called before he caught sight of you.

"Oh.", he and Nagi made, and both boys blushed. You gritted your teeth.

"What's there to look at, hah?! Turn around! I don't want to suffer more than neccecary!", you yelled, and they slowly turned around, not facing away from your form before their backs faced you.

"You look pretty cu-" "Shut it, Reo!"

"Like I said, she is beau-" "You too, Nagi!"

You whined, asking Chris for how long you'd have to wear something like this, which was obviously not your style. You were a goth at heart, and wearing something pink? Pastel? It was like betraying what you were living your whole life for.

"Oh, just five more hours-"

"HOURS?! FIVE?! You guys want to kill me...", you muttered as you felt your soul leave your body.

The english man only laughed heartily. "Come on, it's not that bad. Besides, you look so cute with your little ribbons and-"

"Beware for your next words, for I will rip out your throat if it's another comment about what I'm wearing.", you threatened with a blank expression.

He stared at you for a moment before gulping and facing the new teammates that arrived, which were also ogling at you. You only 'tch'ed. 'This is much worse than being pranked by Otoya, Karasu and Oliver!'

Three cameras were directed to you and you growled. "FUCK YOU, YOU TRAITORS!!!", you yelled as you flipped of the cameras, and your fans.

Heh, mind you that your fanbase only grew with that.

...

"I have to do a Q&A now? What's that??", you mumbled as the female manager, Anri Teieri gushed at your look before answering. "You basically just answer the questions your fans ask you."

You frowned up at the pretty woman. "What if I don't want to?"

"Your budget will get cut off.", and this got followed by an uneasy smile of hers.

You sighed in defeat. "Let's get this over with."

"Oh and...they want you to smile your prettiest smile and behave like a girly girl. Not like the "bruh"...? Do you guys say it like that..?? or tomboy-girl you normally are."

"So I also have to act out of character for them?! What the hell..."

"Well, it's for a special occasion!"

'Special occasion my ass.'

And now, you are sitting on a pink stool, as you have a deck of many cards -lots of cards, too many cards- on that pink table. Your expression was solemn, as if somebody dear to you had died recently, which was your pride.

But, you had to swallow it all up in order to help the people precious to you. You thought about Naruhaya, and your friends out there. Your teammates would for sure be laughing at you.

The video started, and you put on your best sweet smile you could muster. "Hello everyone. My name is Yena Hideyo. I am the first Japanese soccer protégé and today, I will answer you guys some questions, as you can see on the table."

you took a deep breath before giggling and pointing towards yourself, your voice rising in an annoying pitch and you'd beat yourself up for that. "I was also asked to wear all this in order to satisfy my dear fans, and also, sorry about showing your my fingers earlier...I was in a lot of stress for a moment and I let it all out on you. I hope you guys can forgive me.", you pouted cutely and sadly as you read the text the camera staff held behind the camera.

'I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die.'

"Now, let's begin with the first question, shall we?", you cheered sweetly as you struggled with picking up the cards with your pink and long ass nails, but you managed after a few seconds.

"Eheh, sorry, I'm just not used to those long nails...w-which are very pretty!", you exclaimed as you turned around the first card.

"Yenyen_forever asked: "How old are you? And when is your birthday?" ...I am eightteen. And my birthday is on XX.XX.XXXX.", you answered before smiling at the camera. you then took the second card.

"Hideyo's_fan asked: "Will you write another book?" ...Uh, yeah, I already started writing a new one, but I won't tell you what it's about until I'm done."

You smiled to the camera, saying "sorry, love. But I must keep my secrets."

the third card is also picked up with a bit of a struggle. you turn it around, and you see a familiar name.

"Oh, if this isn't yena's_lover! Please change your name!", you cheered into the camera.

there was a short moment of silence before you looked at the card again.

"The person asked: "Yena, do you already have a crush on any body from blue lock?" ...Uh, I literally arrived here three days ago. I can't say anything else but that every boy in here is very cute!", you exclaimed with a blush as you giggled again.

'what have I gotten myself into..?!', you thought after you took out the fourth card. "yenHide_fan asked: "Which blue locker is your favourite?" ...Oh come on!", you yelled, letting your character break for a moment before you coughed.

"Ahem, what I meant to say was that I do not have a favourite.", you quickly added, and the interview ended in forty minutes.

You had to wear the dress for four more hours.

...

You were approaching Otoya, Karasu and Oliver, who all gave you interested looks. "Did ya dress up for us, doll?", Oliver mused, and Otoya and Karasu stepped closer to you.

You smiled before asking them to hold something. Karasu was the first to smile at you in a flirtatious manner. "and what should we hold, sweetheart?"

"My hand.", you answered softly, as you fondly looked up at Karasu. He smirked. "you want me to hold your hand?"

"Yes." "Alrigh-ARGH!", he yelled as soon as his hand made contact with yours.

Oliver and Otoya took a step back, completely in shock (pun intended) when they came to the conclusion that you had these electric thingies on your hand.

What they didn't think of was running away, because in the next moment, Otoya's left cheek got grazed, and he fell unconscious. Oliver fell also unconscious when your other hand made contact with the electric device which you put on both your hands.

Karasu held his hand which got numb, as he stared at you with fear written in his eyes. "p-please..I'm sorry..!", he whispered, slowly stepping back, because if he ran, then he'd never hear the end of it form Otoya and Oliver.

"Say, Karasu. Who's idea was it to make me spend time with you three in the sauna?", you asked sweetly as you stepped forward. arasu gulped, looking to Oliver.

"I-it was Oliver." "Really? Well-", you started, your voice innocent before your hand collided with the wall Karasu found himself trapped in. He was shaking, your face mere inches away from his, and he could smell your sweet perfume.

Despite the fear Karasu felt at the moment, he couldn't help but be a little turned on by you. I mean, who wouldn't, with a hot girl like you trapping him against the wall?

"Please tell Oliver to stop the pranks. Okay, handsome?", you whispered against his ear, and he gulped. You stepped back and turned around to leave. Karasu slowly slided down the wall as he looked to the place where you punched it.

there was a crater in the form of your small fist, with cracks around it like a spider's den. karasu felt like he might've died for a moment.

...

"Yeah, Naruhaya is a good person.", Kunigami confirmed, trying to not stare any further down your body other than your pretty face. He didn't look at you that often, but when he did, you wore more casual clothes than...this.

The orange-haired male blinked in surprise a few times when he caught sight of you from afar in that pink dress, but you truly looked adorable up close.

If only your cleavage wouldn't be so damn wide open...!

He could see your neck, collarbone, and all the way to where your boobs parted, and even though he was a closet pervert, he tried to be respectful and not to stare too much.

Key word: tried.

"I think so too. I actually cried a little after we bid each other farewell, because he had such a great reason to be here...I hope that the money I sent him would be enough for the time being...!", you murmured, and Kunigami kept stealing glances at your round mounds.

'STOP STARING, DAMMIT!!! You should be respectful, you damn pervert!', the boy scolded himself as he looked away subtly.

As you were babbling away your worries, Kunigami looked at your face. That lipgloss was a strawberry pink and highlighted your plump lips perfectly, your hairstyle doing you every justice in the world. The earrings were also pretty sweet, with hearts and all that stuff..

The only problem was truly the dress, but the shoes also looked rather undomfortable. (you told him that it was fine when he asked you about it while dying inside from the pain.)

Yeah, the dress truly bothered him. All because he could sneak glances at your boobies. You looked at him. "Kunigami? You alright?", you asked, not thinking about where his gaze was lingering.

Hell, you were happy he even looked at you, let alone sitting down next to you and talking to you. The male next to you nodded with hesitance. "How much longer do you have to wear that?", he opted to ask instead of answering to your question, to which he paid no attention to (as he was busy ogling at your tits.).

"Just five more minutes.", you said, and he could hear relief in your tone. "I'm glad to hear that. It looks rather uncomfortable, doesn't it?"

You huff. "It's just not my style, that's all.", you said as you stood up, wanting him to show what you didn't like about the dress you received per fanpost. (which was basically everything.)

And it was in this moment, that you knew, you fucked up.

You yelped as you ungraciously twisted your ankle. You were ready to die of embarrassment, thinking: 'Gosh, how can I fall now of all times?! And in front of Kunigami no less!', but before you could fall any further, one large hand put itself on your stomach while another hand took your wrist, pulling you back, and your back hit a sturdy chest.

You two stood there for a moment, with you getting your balance back, and as you stood there, you felt Kunigami's forehead on the back of your shoulder. You blushed, your cheeks warmed up and your eyes widened at his statement.

"You smell good. And please take off that dress.", he murmured as he let go of you slowly. You just stood there, trying to process his words as you turned around to see his from retreating quickly.

Meanwhile, Kunigami held his breath as he quickly left, and he felt your stare on him. He wanted to hang himself. 'Why do I have to act like such a pervert!?!?!'

---

okay and that's it for the third part! Let me know if you guys want a fourth, I also take requests!

Read you in the next post!

#guys I'm actually just copying and pasting tags from other ppls' posts I'm sorry #sorry not sorry #blue lock x reader #bllk x you #bllk imagines #isagi x y/n #bllk x reader #bllk x y/n #alexis ness #michael kaiser x you #bachira meguru #kunigami rensuke #kurona ranze #mikage reo #barou shouei #nagi seishiro #rin itoshi #aiku oliver x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #nagi x reader #nagi smut #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser #kaiser x you #alexis ness x reader #ness x reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #blue lock imagines #blue lock fluff

[dailydegurechaff]

Honestly, Zettour, Rudersdorf, Ugar, and Lergan all trying to co-parent Tanya is good culture.

Zettour is the indulgent one that's far too much like her for the other comfort.

Rudersdorf is the dotting one enabling Tanya and Zettour.

Ugar is the one that spoils her rotten with gifts and tries to invite her to his family's dinners.

And Lergan is the token responsible one whose attempts at discipline are sabotaged at every turn.

In my eyes, every character in the Imperial Army is just one massive found family dynamic. No you cannot change my mind.

I thought just a bit too hard about all of their differences in trying to take care of Tanya, and suddenly instead of drawing, something else came out. Oops. This isn't edited very strongly, very sorry.

Through the walls, I can hear the sound of voices arguing. It’s getting late, and I really would prefer to be sleeping right now, but here I am listening to the unpleasant sound of annoying old men. This sucks.

“I’m just saying, with the way you act sometimes, I find it hard to believe you have her best interests in mind!”

“Oh would you relax, Lergen? You really need to take that stick out of your ass, I’m only letting her have a little fun.”

It seems that tonight’s two combatants are Colonel Lergen and General Zettour. I sincerely hope it stays between just them, but I get the feeling my hopes are going to be for naught.

“A little fun? You’ve been letting her have unimpeded access to your wine cellar! It’s completely irresponsible—”

“Tanya knows how to moderate herself.”

“Does she now? She’s still just a kid, you know!”

“Well, even if she doesn’t, she’ll only make the mistake once after giving herself a horrible hangover.”

“Have you considered you may end up making her an alcoholic?”

Ugh. I’m not sure why they’re arguing in just the next room over like this. It’s not their intention I don’t understand, I’m pretty sure I get that part. I think they might expect Tanya to feel bad if she overhears them fighting over her, so they’re trying to shelter her from it. It’s a nice thought, even if doesn’t technically matter because I don’t actually care. No, the confusion I have is stemming from their choice of location. Do they know how thin these walls are? I don’t think they do because I can hear just about every word perfectly fine.

“Oh, don’t think you’re completely off the hook, Rudersdorf! While we’re on the subject of things we shouldn’t be allowing Tanya to do, you need to stop bringing her to live fire exercises and weapons tests.” Oh, it sounds like Lergen’s moved onto the next target to harangue.

Rudersdorf is quick to clap back and argue his defense, “What? Why? Do you really someone like her could possibly get hurt watching a few little tests?”

“Yes, actually! Because the second Tanya walks onto the grounds, everyone is clamoring for the famed ‘White Silver’ to participate!”

“That only happened once!”

“Once that you told me! I have it on good authority you keep doing it!”

“Tanya herself said she loves flying!”

“Yes, well, she doesn’t like nearly getting blown up by experimental weaponry!”

“Who told you about that?”

I’m wondering about that myself. Lergen honestly has the tendency to be a bit of a mother hen, so I’d avoided telling him about it. Really, it was also for his benefit as well as mine, the poor guy gets terribly sick when he’s anxious. I thought I was being merciful when I decided to tell only Zettour that I’d recently flown for Elenium Arms again.

Ah, wait a second. Zettour. He’s been suspiciously silent now, hasn’t he? He hasn’t said anything in a while, so he’s probably just listening to Lergen and Rudersdorf argue. Considering he was just getting reamed out for the whole ‘letting Tanya have wine’ thing, he’s probably enjoying the fact that Lergen’s anger isn’t directed at him anymore. I wonder if it was him…

“Oh, Zettour, you bastard!”

Ah, it seems that Rudersdorf caught on to the same realization I did. Now the two generals are going to argue. What a joy. Lergen at least has the decency to keep his volume at normal conversational levels, even if his tone gets rather accusatory. The generals do not have that decency, so this is going to devolve into a shouting match. I really do not want to, but I’m going to have to go out there and tell them to shut up, aren’t I?

Uger, the only person speaking at a low volume and therefore the only person who I can’t hear well, says something unintelligible. Following that, I just barely hear Lergen’s sigh and the resigned words, “Alright, go ahead…”

In the next few seconds, I hear footsteps and then my door opens. Colonel Uger appears in the doorway.

“Tanya… are you still awake?”

“Yes, sir. Did you need something?”

There’s a loud noise, like someone just slammed a table with their fist, and Uger hurries to step inside the room and shut the door behind him. It does very little to mute the din of the argument.

There is a beat of silence as we both listen. Uger looks like he’s cringing.

“It’s uh… Have you been able to hear this whole time…?”

“Yes, I have.”

“L-Listen, Tanya… you should know that this isn’t your fault. They love you, and want the best for you. It’s only because they care so much that they disagree—”

Knowing where this conversation is headed, I cut off the incoming lecture he’s about to give me, “It’s fine. I know they’re only arguing out of love for me.” A bold-faced lie came out of Tanya’s mouth just now. It’s not something I believe at all, but I also know saying that will end this conversation as quickly as possible.

“Right… so long as you understand—”

“Oh, shut the hell up! What would you know about parenting?!” Uger’s kind words are unfortunately interrupted by one of the Generals yelling.

There is another awkward pause.

After a second, it seems like Uger has come up with a resolution, “Uh… You know, Tanya, my daughter has been wanting to see you again. Did you want to have a sleepover with her tonight?”

Yeah, I’ll take hanging out with a toddler over listening to this go on for who knows how long. You know it speaks to the maturity level of those old men that a little girl is more well-behaved than them.

Mind made up, I give him my assent, “Yes, sir, I think that’d be pleasant.”

“Alright, I’ll give you a second to get your things together while I go talk to them about the new plans.” With that Uger leaves the room, a stormy expression on his face.

Ahh, now they’ve done it. You know it’s bad when even kindhearted Colonel Uger gets irritated. It’s because he’s so compassionate that it’s always the worst getting reprimanded by him. If you can manage to piss him off, it generally means you deserve what’s coming.

I hope he doesn’t take too long guilt-tripping them, I really would like to go to bed soon.

#bonus doodle #ask #anonymous #youjo senki #the saga of tanya the evil #tanya von degurechaff #lergen #zettour #rudersdorf #uger #papa erich au #woah its writing for once #its short ok #youjo senki fanfic

[ctinalk]

Season two isn’t (fully) real, it’s a peaceful, fragile existence

The more I rewatch the show and read different theories, the more convinced I get that S2 is some sort of elaborate dream sequence or a distraction or memory alteration attempt (Neil’s chaotic angsty ineffable husbands fanfic?). But not all of it.

(This gets kind of rambly so if you want my true hook, scroll down to the Michael Sheen Staged gif.)

Let me make this perfectly clear on the outset: I don’t think all of it is a dream, and I certainly don’t think the final 15/kiss is or is going to be discounted (and not only because there would be literal riots in the street, because there absolutely would be, but also I’m putting trust in Neil and the team wholeheartedly). I think that could actually be the domino that brings them out of it. I read somewhere recently something along the lines of “something loved can never be truly forgotten” and I think that fits my theory perfectly. I’m also making no claims (yet) as to what I think is real and what I think is “enhanced”.

Also I apparently am either too far deep or cannot work the tumblr search function with any modicum of usefulness, so please link me to the posts I’m alluding to if you think it’s the right one. I will edit them in and sincerely apologize to the brilliant minds that exist outside the confines of the search function.

Now, On with the show:

You can be in charge of the biscuits

Maggie and Nina: Look, I get that recasts happen, they change the actor playing the character because of scheduling conflicts, etc. But to cast the actor/actress that is immediately recognizable from a prior interaction (whether with the characters or the audience) is not something you see. FFS Maggie DIED in S1, and Nina was pivotal (maybe too strong a word, but enough to be memorable surely) to the storyline. It’s like someone said “Hey, they’ll work, bring em in, no I don’t care that they were in S1. It’ll be a test of how well our facade is working. If they (A&C) notice, then the gig is up and we’ll know it.”

Also why in the world is the owner of a coffee shop offering Eccles cakes to calm down, when camomile tea is right there? (Resists the urge to go off on a tangent on how Eccles cakes were used to celebrate the “Eccles wakes” at the feast of St. Mary (yes that Mary) and how that ties into the second coming plot.) Do Eccles cakes count as biscuits? Ugh another thought for another day I suppose.

It has come to my attention during writing that Shax is the same actress as Madame Tracy. I have less of an affront to this knowledge since I’m 2 months deep and countless rewatches in and only just noticed. But I’m going to pop it in this header anyway. Are you really trying to tell me that a show that apparently has demon entrances happening precisely on the 6s really didn’t think these choices out very deliberately? (Edit 3: https://www.tumblr.com/noneorother/735823422626709504/the-secret-timeline-inside-of-good-omens-season-2 JFC why can I never find the blogs when I want to insert them? It was a breakdown about how all of the demon entrances happen at a 00:00 that ends in a 6.)

Yours very faithfully, Maggie

Text to mail disconnect: There’s been a theory pop up (at the time one writing this at least (edit 2: https://www.tumblr.com/azariah-z-fell/743434274903048192/it-is-extra-weird-because-it-is-on-the-record) that Maggie actually texted Aziraphale her request to talk, and it was magically translated into a physical form, and the spelling error (that so many people are shouting DEMON at) was just an autocorrect typo. But, surely Maggie would know he doesn’t text if she knew him for several years at least. We’ve never seen either of our boys text, only call. Seems like someone doesn’t know how phones work, but wanted to get the message received? See also: currency, below.

You ever think, what’s the point?

Numerous people have pointed out the same obvious background people. There are theories about the guy in the Hawaiian shirt being the second coming or something similar. I wonder if it’s some sort of play on a badly executed attempt to make Wickber Street seem “normal” in an alternate reality, an elaborate distraction, but they have to keep using the same character models because their imagination is just slightly better than Shadwells’ (Oh gfdi how did I miss Mrs. sandwich right there). I’m not saying we haven’t done a “oh oops silly me I forgot something” but that isn’t usually done in the middle of a sidewalk. When Aziraphale is initially talking to Jim with the blanket, there’s a guy just chugging his arms outside the window, not walking. Another one in E3 when Shax show up outside the shop, a guy in an orange sweatshirt passes in the background, then passes again, and not close enough in time/area to just be the continuation of the walk. Especially in the early episodes, there are veritable conveyer belts of people, straight lines, no trying to pass, etc. I’m trying to look at the background in S1 and while there are still tons of people, the background is… livelier. People passing, shoving past, actually going places.

“I’m looking at the statue of Gabriel.” “Oh, good job?”

Aziraphale basically learns fuck-all when he makes the trip to Edinburgh. Granted, I do believe most of that was to make the Bentley “our car”, but so many things are out of character. The no drink, the over-the-top “investigation” (as awkward as he is, Aziraphale knows how to act more normally than that with humans), the background on the drive up there…

All the others were taken (random collective thoughts)

Somehow ALL the businesses on the street are different from Season 1?

A normal person would have moved out of the rain instead of just lolling there letting raid splatter their glasses, yeah? (As a person with glasses I can confirm).

“We have all the hosts of hell searching for him” cue Crowley looking around like then why the fuck are there still demons around me?

The cross disappearing from the Gabriel statue between shots.

“I’m a bit out of miracles” and “that’s not how miracles work” from the guy who got written up for too many frivolous miracles.

I have here a sixpence and a farthing There’s always money in the banana stand

The lack of (accurate?) paid transactions seems like whoever is pulling the strings has no concept of earthly money and how it’s supposed to work, just that it exists. Crowley and Aziraphale talk bluntly about poverty and know that money is needed and used in current society (“Give her the money, Angel”, Rome, Globe Theatre, 1941 magic shop, etc.). Could be a “let’s not get lost in the trivialities” thing but it does strike me as odd. Caveat: Aziraphale forgiving the rent doesn’t quite fit, but cost of the record is obscenely low.

But this does give me hope about the 3rd 1941 flashback, because they were using money accurately there, which hopefully means the flashbacks and memories aren’t being altered, just “present day”.

We’re real people

One of the overarching themes in Season 2 (and S1 now I think of it) is “stop interfering in the lives of other people”. Maggie and Nina, Job, Elspeth, the entire dance party, Warlock, the book of prophecy. It would be a shame if someone were to make sure I failed to be messing about in their own lives.

I had brothers, you don’t scare me

Something happened just before Maggie told them to “Come in here and say that to my face.” Another demonic turn potential here, but also kind of like someone’s saying “FFS get on with the plot”.

The book of love has music in it

This post https://www.tumblr.com/noneorother/731977308306636800/all-the-music-you-didnt-hear-the-good-omens (finally, one I can find!) popped up, and there’s another one that purports to have noticed that there’s music lines missing from the opening sequence (edit 1: Found it!: https://www.tumblr.com/dadesu/726651737165938688/anyone-noticed-the-missing-half-bar-in-good-omens ). Possibly Clueing us in that there’s something that’s missing elsewhere (I mean obviously, that’s the whole point of this season, is it not?).

So where do we go from here?

As much as I’d love to say “Alright so the kiss breaks the spell whoever was put over them because of ✨the power of love✨, the ruse will be revealed, and they’re not talking because they don’t have to”

I don’t know, my thoughts are just the overarching patterns I’ve noticed over many, many rewatches and probably reading a few too many magic trick theories and/or fanfics. I don’t intentionally make my theory posts open-ended, but in the end that’s the fun of it. Nothing has to be mutually exclusive (yes I’m referencing my “Is Crowley already the new Supreme Archangel” post, I think I’m allowed that much). I’m happy to be proven wrong, and probably will be.

Lots of things are wrong right now

But I will leave you with one parting thought: Crowley knows. He knows there’s furniture missing. (That’s why he keeps just tossing things everywhere, because he know it doesn’t matter.)

And he. Does not. Care. For it.

How many theories that I myself hate can I dig into?

I’m a demon, I lied:

#good omens season 2 #good omens #good omens theories #crowley #aziraphale