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#ugh im sorry i know you mean well im just
elisacaleisa · 3 days
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jax is back at it again btw i fucking hate editing in this app it keeps failing me istg /lh
Jax's Personality Swap AU:
SHAW/SOLAIRE PIPELINE: Porter > Milo > Vincent > David > Asher > Sam > Porter
(i struggled w the choice to swap asher and sam cuz pattern,,,,)
Porter > Milo:
Hunting Werewolf
- quite mysterious and flirty
- "all alone by yourself, sweetheart?"
- suspicious as fuck
- but it works
- a weapon
- "i've been raised to kill, sweetheart. get too close and your last kiss will be on my lips."
- just really lonely, wanted to make his father proud and protect his pack
- "Gabe knew he would be gone sooner or later... so he had a project. Me."
——————
Milo > Vincent:
Skeptical Vampire
- "why are you here all alone by yourself??"
- uhhh
- "listen, youre lovely and im glad you think im lovely too, i got the lineart right too after all, butwecantbeherefortoolongpleasego"
- nope, not leaving
- "ugh, youre lucky youre cute, lovely"
- snarky
- kinda a loser but so hot
- likes to dress pretty
- best friends with sam
- he supports lovely
- independent, still a prince but really not seen as one
——————
Vincent > David:
Charming Alpha
- "well look who we got here~ do we share the same path or do you follow me, cause i am too pretty to resist?"
- he chuckles a lot, he is totally amazed by angel
- "arent you a little rebellious angel~"
- an alpha, he takes the role seriously, but he is still enjoying being out of his pack
- clearly flirty
- he likes to push buttons but is aware to not go too far
- protective? possesive?
- and he brings food for angel when theyre late from their joh home
- "you need to rest, angel. sleep tight. I'll stay by your side"
- actually very caring and soft
——————
David > Asher:
Serious Beta
- takes the beta role very seriously
- "david. youre late."
- gets stuck with baabe in an elevator and is not happy about it
- "stupid elevators, god fucking dammit."
- he is not comfortable to be with you here
- can be mean at first, but he is frustrated
- "this has to be a joke, someone had to put us up in here together on purpose..." mumble mumble
- protective
- david, angel, sweetheart and milo ship asher and baabe so clearly lmao, but dont tell him that
- feel responsible for everything, may have breakdowns
- he needs a hug
——————
Asher > Sam:
Goofy Vampire
- Vincent's right hand
- and a teaser
- still southern ofc this is a personality swap
- "well well well, late romantic Vincent Solaire! why are ya so red~?"
- number one fan of darlin'
- is not taken very seriously by the clan
- despite that, he tries his best to help vincent and the pack however he can
- has tendenc to avoid serious talks but darlin' helps him settle down and talk
- "...'m sorry, darlin'. i just didn't want ya to think of me otherwise..."
- god you love this goof
——————
Sam > Porter:
Vampire Knight
- he is like a security for Vincent, even when they don't see eye to eye sometimes
- doesnt kill until necessary
- really caring
- his weapon is his words, fangs are secondary
- "calm down, treasure, no need for a fight. now, why are you looking for me, huh?"
- suspicious of treasure, but helps them as they help him
- reveals that theyre like older brother figure for vincent, since he is the prince and need someone to guide him
- "why arent you the prince?"
- he doesn't answer... There is a lot you dont know about him...
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the-one-who-lambs · 5 months
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Me: I don't know if my ideas are worth sharing, I'm losing engagement from my readerbase these past few months so I must be doing something wrong, I don't think I've really accomplished anything as a writer.
Some person in my AO3 comments hyped as FUCK for the Risen Lamb/Fallen God rewrite:
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vampmilf · 1 month
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"hey can you just watch him for 10-15 mins?" *proceeds to leave me in charge of a whole baby for FOURTY MINUTES.
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bicon-crange · 6 months
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this sucks so much ass i should be able to sue and i fucking mean that
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bogos-bint3d · 3 months
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Oooooooo you wanna find me great incredible Undyne centric content that I haven't seen before and will be consumed by ooooooooooo
#i say this because you genuinely cannot understand just how insane over her i am that i have legitimately seen almost all the interesting-#-content about her#i am not fucking kidding#if its on like the first 3 pages of anywhere ive searched for her ever. i have seen it. tumblr youtube ao3 google i HAVE SEEN!!!!!!!#ok well not as much with ao3. simply because im always searching for something specific on there. so like. there probably will be some-#-really good things on there i havent seen yet#but still. i have very high standards if there is anything I don't like ill spontaneously combust#and im legitimately like 94% i know literally every single thing about her mentioned in the game. so you wont be able to surprise me with-#-anything there either. but also you never really know so#i mean yeah just feel free to talk to me about her at any time. I wont be able to start the conversation. because like i just cant#but if you mention something interesting enough in the first sentence ill probably be able to keep the conversation going for a good while#sorry i probably sound really rude and snobbish rn cause im all like ''ugh i already know everything im so smart'“#''whatever show me will be beneath me'' BUT I SWEAR THAT IS NOT HOW IM TRYING TO COME OFF#IM REALLY REALLY SORRY I JUST GENUINELY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET ACROSS HOW I N E E D IT TO BE SOMETHING NEW AND SOMETHING THAT ILL REALLY-#REALLY WANT TO SEE#IM SO SO SORRY I HATE THAT I SOUND SO RUDE HERE I JUST. like guys i just really want to see something new‚ something thatll make me happy.#sigh#okokok.#all good guys#uhm. yeah. maybe if you find something maybe tell me but also idk because what if i already know about it then dont know what to say. i just#i j . i dont even know man#ok im done#undyne
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marklikely · 6 months
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the results of that "is fanfic a book" poll have shown me one thing and its that this site never graduated past that absolutely insufferable phase in 2013 where everyone acted like every book is the single most sacred thing on earth
#sorry rant incoming. you know like the people who got way too offended over dog earing or carving books for art or things like that?#that's what the notes section of that poll feel like. just way too many people (on both sides) putting way too much importance on Books.#like first you have the 'um ive read fanfic that was deep and beautiful and thematic so yes all fanfic is books' votes#which like. ok. ive also read really deep thematic screenplays but that doesnt make it a book its simply not. what a book is#then you have the honestly even worse 'um your reylo au isn't like the works of the masters its not REAL BOOKS' crowd#which like. yeah most actual published books are not as good as the 'works of the masters' whatever that means. so you have proven nothing#which brings us back to the absolute worst of all 'colleen hoover & co aren't books either' SOMEHOW#like. ok well i think her work is pretty bad but it was literally edited and published into literal books so#if you're going to decide that you get to be the arbiter of what books are Good Enough to count as Real Books well you've lost already.#because no that's not how any of this works. youre fighting one of the most famous Losing Battles in all of art discourse.#a book is just. a format that writing can be in its not some holy status you have to work to acheive#and to try and turn it into that is really stupid and self important i think because like again#who gets to decide what books are Real? what motivates them to make that choice? what biases are benefited from that?#i think its worth noting in conversations like this everyone wants to deny female romance authors the title of Real Book#(which yes a lot of those books are very shallow or badly written. many have outright offensive tropes)#but nobody mentions the equally shallow and offensive stuff by/for men. like william johnstone's shitty cowboy books for example.#no matter how you try to frame it youre going to lose the second you decide something has to fit your standards to be real art.#avpost#its very reminiscent for me of the conversation around modern art where people just want to say they know what is and isn't real art#based on like whatever standards they want. 'ugh its just dots it's not real art'. do u see where im coming from.#a book is just. a piece of writing that was edited and published in the form of a physical book. that's it. its a v literal if vague noun.#it can be something with a lot of depth and meaning. it can be shallow and hacky. it can be nonfiction entirely. its not a value statement#which can also be said about art as a whole some of it is very shallow and bad. some of it is extremely skilled and profound#anyway. no fanfic isn't inherently books but some fanfics have undergone editing & publishing and became books i think#and that doesnt mean that they're 'as good as' the classics by really skilled writers. but theyre still books#tbh a lot of the published fanfic books are worse than most nonbook fanfic. them being books isnt a statement of being more valuable.#its just a literal fact.#i think its interesting to discuss but i swear its not a huge deal whether fanfic is books the bigger deal to me is#the weird attitude popping up on both sides. which i think most people would also find stupid if their brains hadnt been like#totally ruined by an uninterrupted 5 years of insufferable-on-all-sides fanfic discourse that has ruled this website.
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rat-nest · 1 year
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Sorry for low key being a german shepherd hate blog ill stop when people stop buying unstable backyard bred messes that put me and my dog at risk because they're always off leash for some reason 💚
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Its this kind of morning in which I think of Kakashi and how much I love him.
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p2iimon · 1 year
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actually i think i get to decide what words mean. you all lost your privileges
#‘actually words can mean different things in different contexts’ SHUT UP#im so sick of people going ‘oh yeah i do that too lol’ bc all the words that came with my autism have been watered down to mean NOTHING#MASKING is the new one!!!!!!!!! ppl are telling em theyre masking at work!!!!!!!!! can you just use a different word?????#‘well it may be useful-‘ okay but they literally do not know what the word actuwlly means. they think it means when they act different#if i stopped masking you guys wouldnt LIKE ME#you guys would think i was offputting and uncomfortable to be around!!!!!!! i hate all of you!!!!!!#im genuinely so sick and tired of people going ‘erm i think im autistic’ and then turning around and saying IM BEING TOO WEIRD#or that i need too much accommodation!!!!!!!! they go ‘um im neurodivergent and its really not a big deal to me’ then why are you#even using terms like that. why are you spending time self diagnosing if you dont need anything. if it doesnt help you. is it just to be in#a group????? it it just to say ‘oh sorry im being an ass bc i have autism and it does nothing but make me mean sometimes 🥺’#im making everyone take a written test on what words mean currently before they can start expanding on them into their own situation#like ‘is this an appropriate use of this term or is this downplaying the experiences of certain people’#or ‘does that even actually apply or are you just wanting it to’#or ‘is that even what the phrase means or are you just using word association’#ugh#rant >:(#simons spouting
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nevertheless-moving · 9 months
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Gotta figure that at least 50% of those spidermans were very delibrately not putting their all into the big chase scene, bare minimum 10% actively sabotaging. like oh no we're on a train to the moon, guess we're stuck and can't go after him anymore.
Please.
Running in a pack, big crowd of the chattiest superheros to ever live (and theres a lot of chatty fucking superheroes), several dozen of them with front row seats to the big reveal-
"so why are we after this kid?" "He wants to stop one of his canon events" "his canon events?" "a canon event." "You mean-" "Wait what did she say, we're chasing this guy because he wants to keep his girlfriend from falling to her death?" "Uh. Not sure. Might be the childhood friend - watch your heads - turning evil thing." "I thought those were fixed points? Like you couldn't stop them no matter how much you time traveled back?" "There he is!" "Wait you have time travel?" "No but I heard the spider from earth 1116a-" "Wait if it's fixed then what's the harm in letting him try" "come on you know the multiverse-" "he's trying to keep his boyfriend from dying? Why the fuck are we chasing him?" "Well miguel said-" "you mean Grimdark angsty spiderman?" "Huh?" "No, not you, vampire - incoming, mind your legs - vampire grimdark angsty spiderman-" "oh, him. Isn't he a bit-" "I feel like the trying is what matters, i mean even if he fails-" "so he is a vampire!" "ummm yeah no hold up im not totally comfortable with this whole-" "who's trying to do what? Ooh, got line of sight on him, he's totally webbed in 3,2, AaAghh" "Oh shoot, haha I must have tripped on Spider-Banana-Man whoops, sorry -" "ugh whattever, lost the shot anyway" "Cant believe Spider-Rex boffed it like that, theyre usually great at ambush-" "I heard his uncle-" "No his dad-" "oof, thats-" "Wow is it just me or are we really tripping over each other today" "Hey do you know why we're chasing after this-"
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obsessiveimpulses · 3 months
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Yuuta needy brainrot °♡
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summary: needy yuuta interrupts your girls night
cw: slight breeding kink, phone sex, exhibitisiom ? , subboy!yuuta , porn w a lil plot
an: first submission here,,, im welcome to any ideas and feel free to leave some feed back !! thanks:^)
☆°○
You laid next to Nobara, both propped up by your elbows. Your jaws hung slack as the blue light shined from her laptop. You were watching the latest hit romcom that Nobara had been begging you to watch with her for ages. It took her so long to convince you - only about 50 rejections for you to finally say yes. You were always just too busy with Yuuta, truthfully he just never wanted to leave your side. And you never wanted to leave his
Yuuta was a bit of the overprotective, obsessive type. You had to practically beg him stay at Nobaras tonight. Nonetheless, you love him for it despite knowing it probably wasn't healthy.
~~~~~
"Please, Yuuta..." you said cupping his large pale hands with your own, "it's just one night I'll be back first thing tomorrow, I promise." You stood between his legs, his big tired eyes looking up into yours. He shook his heading before dropping it, his hair slightly covering his left eye.
"Fine" he mutters. His voice trembled a little before looking back up at me. But there was something in his eyes, they glistened darkly.
"Really?!"
He squeezes your hands tighter, "yes... but, that doesn't mean it won't be easy" he spoke softly. He rose taking his coat from the rack and gently placing it over your shoulders. He grabbed your bag from the floor, passing it to you.
"Don't worry you'll be fine Yuuta, it's only for one night" you reassured him.
"I never said for me" he mumbled his voice smooshed by his lips caressing your forehead. His hands grabbed the side of your head, holding you close as you shivered from the touch of his cold ring.
~~~~~~
Nobara reached over twisting your hair between her fingers mindlessly. Her bed was ever so soft but it wasn't us soft as Yuuta's.
Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz
Nobara and I jumped at the vibrations sent through the bed. "Who's that?" she questioned leaning over to try and peek.
"It's probably just Yuuta..." you sighed sitting up, "I should just see what he wants." Nobara sighed as well, not wanting to be interrupted on your only time together.
Answering the phone you spoke, "hello? Yuuta?" Silence answered back.
"Yuuta, what's up?" Asking again patiently waiting for an answer.
"Baby..." Yuuta choked out, followed by muffled sounds of the bed creaking and sheets rustling. "Yeah, is everything okay?" You inquired.
"No.. baby I need your help" he spoke softly his voice consistently broken up with small sharp breaths. He continued panting into the phone, pleading your name.
"Yuuta! Are you okay?!" Your voice raised as you grew anxious and impatient. Worrying you brought your hand to your mouth chewing along your nail. Your heart beat faster, it echoed through your mind like a drum.
"Darling ... I... ugh" he moaned into the phone.
Huuuuuh.... your mind went blank.
"nggh ... can't take it anymore, need your sweet pussy baby" he moaned breathlessly his sweet little whines ever so soft. A knot growing into your stomach.
"Yuuta... are you?" you sighed into the phone. A wave of relief washed over you before quickly being replaced by a swarm of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. He was right he wasn't going to make this easy, for you.
"m'mmm.. so close" he choked out. Followed by squelching and sniffles. Tears rolled down his cheeks, he couldn't help it. He fisted his cock, his back arching as he moaned into the phone echoing into your ear.
"so sorry baby, please forgive me but I just can't help it... need you... need your voice" he whined growing closer chasing the building feeling growing in his balls.
You pictured him sprawled across the bed. Seeing him vividly leaking from his slit, precum dripping down his length onto his balls and in-between his upper thighs. You could only imagine the mess he's making. A bead of sweat rolling down his forehead mixing in with his salty tears before dropping onto his lip.
"Yuuta, it's okay" you mumbled. "Don't stop baby I'm here for you." His moans pierced through your brain. In that moment you wanted nothing more than to see or at least hear him cum for you. To at least hear him cum from nothing but the simple sound of your voice.
Hearing your praise the feeling intensifies. His strokes become harder, faster and louder. The squelching sounds and his soft pleas for release growing louder. You almost forgot Nobara sat right next to you, her face contorted with confusion.
You shrug your shoulders and wave your hand with dismissal at her hoping she would just ignore you. Most importantly, you were praying she couldn't hear Yuuta's whines.
"ugh darling.. don't want to waste my cum," Yuuta barely gets out in between moans, "should be deep in you instead."
"It's okay Yuuta, just show me... after" you say but really you want to see it now. At this rate it wasn't going to be long before you soaked through your jeans.
With this Yuuta is determined to make a huge mess just to show you how much he needs you. His needy moans become more desperate filled with more fuuuucks than ever before.
"Fuck.. I'm gonna cum baby," Yuuta whines rocking his hips up into his hands. "Pleaseee, say I love you... need to hear you."
"I love you Yuuta" you say. Your pussy throbs for him just as his cock throbs for you. Before he can even tell he's cumming, his hands are covered with cum as he crys out for you. His hips buck up high picturing himself deep inside you.
He chuckles to himself, still breathless from his sweet release.
"Ugh so good.. I love you, goodnight" yuuta coos before abruptly hanging up. That bitch!
So, he's just going to tease me and beg for me like that and not even say thank you after! You sigh angrily taking your phone away from you ear.
"What was that about?" Nobara asks.
Before answering your phone dings. It's Yuuta he's sent you an image.
'As promised my love' it reads followed by a photo of his hand stretched cum coating everywhere. Its inbetween his fingers and all over his cock. Is this how much he usually cums in me?! You think to yourself in shock.
"Hello?" Nobara says as he snaps her fingers in front of your face.
"Fuck sorry, he just wanted to say goodnight" you say quickly. Liar may as well be written in thick black ink over your forehead with how red your face is.
Yuuta you fucking bastard. I'll get you back for that.
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tgcg · 4 months
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argument
its a big one
TG: alright this is probably a bust
TG: more i think about it how the fuck do you even make a marinara
TG: can i even alchemise cheese or do i gotta like alchemise the milk and curdle it myself
TG: how do you even curdle
====================
TG: make a goddamn
TG: curgler
TG: whatever
TG: internet archive gonna pull through
====================
CG: ALRIGHT DAVE
TG: shit
====================
CG: YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK OFF. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IN BULGEMUNCHING VIRULENT FUCK YOU GET THE IDEA YOU HAVE ANY RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD THINK ABOUT MY OWN GODDAMN PLANET. SORRY TO HAVE TO DEAL A BLOW TO YOUR IMPOSSIBLY INFLATED FUCKING EGO, BUT HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT YOUR SIDE-EYE SLACKJAW HOPELESS DEADPAN BULLSHIT BEHAVIOUR IS ACTUALLY INCREDIBLY FUCKING CONTEMPTIBLE AND DOESN'T PUT YOU ABOVE OTHER PEOPLE? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT?
CG: OR DID YOU JUST ASSUME FROM THE MOMENT YOU FOUND OUT I'M A REVOLTING FUCKING MUTANT LOWBLOOD FREAK THAT I'M SUDDENLY NOT ALLOWED TO LIKE THE IDEA OF MY LIFE MEANING SOMETHING AT SOME POINT?
TG: okay you are wildly misquoting me where the fuck did that come from
TG: also you scared the hell out of me
TG: im just trying to science some pizza here
====================
CG: OKAY THEN, DAVE! EXPLAIN TO ME AS WELL AS YOUR AMBLING ONE-NOTE SMOOTH EXCUSE FOR A 'THOUGHT'SPONGE CAN
CG: IN SOMEWHAT COHERENT TERMS, ALTHOUGH I KNOW THAT'S A TALL ORDER:
CG: HOW YOU SAYING MY ADOLESCENT DREAMS OF BECOMING A THRESHECUTIONER ARE "FUCKED UP AND IRONIC IN A NASTY ASS WAY" DOESN'T QUALIFY AS UNDERHANDEDLY KICKING ME IN THE MANDIBLE PRONGS!
CG: YOUR AUDIENCE AWAITS YOU WITH BATED BREATH! TAKE IT AWAY, M.C. BRAIN HEMORRHAGE.
====================
TG: okay i dont
TG: know how you got a hold of that phrasing because i said that shit in confidence
TG: get out of my business bro
CG: NEWSFLASH, ASSHOLE: THIS METEOR IS A PHYSICAL, LITERAL LOCATION WE'RE BOTH IN. IT'S NOT A FUCKING PRIVATE CHATROOM. THIS MIGHT BLOW YOUR PITIFUL MIND BUT PEOPLE CAN ACTUALLY HEAR OTHER PEOPLE TALK WHEN THEY HAVE TO SHARE A SPACE! BRO!
TG: ugh
====================
CG: AND IT'S VERY INTERESTING YOU ACCUSE ME OF MISQUOTING YOU, AND THEN SUDDENLY TURN AND SPOUT FROM THAT SHITTY DRONING GROANSHAFT OF YOURS THAT I'M INVADING YOUR PRIVACY WHEN I DIRECTLY QUOTE YOUR SMARMY LITTLE SHAMEGLOBES!
CG: WOW! TURNS OUT KARKAT IS ACTUALLY BEING GENUINELY FUCKING UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING — WHO KNEW, RIGHT? WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE GENUINE COMPLAINTS TO LEVEL AGAINST THE PEOPLE WHO GO SPOUTING HOOFBEASTSHIT ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK TO THEIR ECTOSIBLINGS?
TG: no dude can you shut up a second
CG: I MOST CERTAINLY FUCKING WILL, THANKS FOR THE OFFER! I'M NEVER TELLING YOU A GODDAMN THING AGAIN, SO I HOPE YOU MANAGE TO GAIN SOME WRINKLES TO THAT VESTIGIAL FLAWLESS ORB FLOATING AROUND IN YOUR CAVERNOUS NUGBONE FROM ALL THIS. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH ALL THE EFFORT ON YOUR END.
TG: listen!!!!
====================
CG: MHM! MY AURICULAR CHAMBERS ARE WIDE OPEN!
TG: jegus
TG: okay
TG: i have no defense for my literal phrasing but how expeditiously did you shadowstep the fuck away after i said that
TG: because that is some shrek tier "princess and ugly dont go together" level misrepresentation of my sweet self
TG: like if this wasnt obviously a heated platonic argument we were having i would probably be digging what the reference even if it was a shitty trope
====================
TG: i just
TG: have been thinking about some things and none of those things have got an iota of a thing to do with you or your blood
TG: thing
TG: man
TG: i dont know why you think id be so pressed about your vein juice its like
TG: a normal ass color for a normal ass guy
TG: and obviously it was a major fucking deal from how you talk about it but it doesnt need to be anymore
====================
TG: the thing is i just dont like have the same attitude as you about fighting and stuff and thats not something i am getting into right now but i am gonna make it expressly clear
TG: that its just kind of fucked up for me to sit my ass down and listen to someone spew gold and medals and confetti colored shit going googoo all over tall and loathsome ass bloodletters he never knew
TG: and have him tell me he wants to be the best guy at combat since samurai fuckin jack
TG: and thats my capital B business believe me the emphasis is there
====================
CG: SO IS THIS ABOUT ME WANTING TO BE PART OF SOMETHING YOU DON'T AGREE WITH? BECAUSE THRESHECUTIONERS DON'T EVEN FUCKING EXIST ANYMORE. I LITERALLY COULD NOT DO THIS IF I TRIED AT THIS POINT, SO YOU CAN UNKNOT YOUR “KNIGHTY WHITIES” ABOUT IT.
TG: being anti-military is not my point but damn if it isnt a thing thats probably true anyways so good job sleuthing that out
CG: WHAT IS YOUR POINT, DAVE.
TG: bluh
TG: i just said i dont wanna talk about it man
====================
CG: OKAY,
====================
CG: OKAY.
CG: I MEAN. IT FEELS KIND OF IMPORTANT TO THE CONTEXT OF THIS WHOLE UNAMBIGUOUSLY PLATONIC ARGUMENT WE'VE BEEN HAVING
CG: WHICH I'M RELIEVED WE AGREE ON BY THE WAY
CG: BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO KNOW I'M NOT GOING TO WRING IT OUT OF YOU. IT'S FINE.
====================
CG: …IF YOU DECIDE AT SOME POINT THAT YOU WANT TO TELL ME THOUGH, MY RUMBLE VESSELS ARE STILL OPEN.
TG: i swear youre making those up on the spot at this point
CG: I'M KEEPING MY LANGUAGE'S ART ALIVE, DAVE. IT'S BASIC DECENCY TO THE PLANET THAT RAISED ME.
TG: heh
====================
TG: yknow we got these things called anatomical snuffboxes
TG: its got that right amount of vague nose wrinklage to it that i feel like youd be right at home saying that
TG: snug as a grub even
CG: WHAT PART IS THAT???
TG: its that little weird bone bit that sticks out on the back of your palm when you flex your thumb right
====================
TG: look
CG: HUH. LOOKING AT THAT IS KIND OF WIGGING ME OUT.
TG: yeah its kinda gross rose told me about it
TG: but anyways
====================
TG: are we cool
CG: I MEAN… I GUESS SO. YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY INSULTING ME, RIGHT?
TG: hell no dude never
CG: OKAY. I COMPLETELY RESCIND THE MYRIAD OF WAYS I JUST INSULTED YOU. AND I'M SORRY.
TG: nah i know its just fluff at this point
====================
CG: I STILL DON'T APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ROSE THINGS I SAY TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE. THAT WAS BETWEEN YOU, ME, AND MY NOW NON-EXISTENT HOME PLANET ROTTING AWAY TO A CRATERED GRAY HUSK IN ANOTHER DEAD UNIVERSE.
TG: i swear that was like the only thing its just that she gets it and i cant keep my mouth from going on about the gettable stuff
TG: they call me the babbling brook the way my flows so audible
TG: i wont do it again
CG: NO,
====================
CG: I GET IT HONESTLY.
CG: I'M BASICALLY THE NUMBER ONE PROPRIETOR OF AIRED GRIEVANCES IN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE AND THEN SOME, AND I'D ALSO BECOME ITS BIGGEST HYPOCRITE IF I HELD IT AGAINST YOU.
TG: thanks
TG: but i mean
TG: at the gigantic risk of sounding uh
====================
TG: ………..
CG: ?
====================
TG: well
TG: i kinda just think youre better at being a guy to chill out and watch movies with than a guy to tangle fists with
TG: and i dont think theres anything wrong with being that
TG: i think its cool
====================
CG: …THAT'S AN ALARMINGLY BRAZEN OBSERVATION TO MAKE OF SOMEONE YOU'VE KNOWN FOR ABOUT THE SPAN OF SEVEN SEASONAL EQUINOXES, DAVE.
TG: i dont know what that means but it sure is probably
CG: AM I ALLOWED TO ASK WHAT EVEN GIVES YOU THAT IMPRESSION????
TG: i just got that inkling about you man
====================
TG: and you can do whatever you want with that info
TG: throw it in the load gaper or whatever if you want i dont really care
TG: give it a swirly and slam it in a locker call it a nerd break its glasses whatever
TG: but beyond this whole lord english thing weve got going on i am pretty content to never aggress my fellow man slash alien slash monster again if i can help it
TG: i think thats pretty fair given what thats been like so far
====================
TG: and yknow its cool to have some company when im waxing emotional over the narrative depth of click starring adam sandler which we are watching next by the way
CG: UGH, FIIIIIIIIINE. JUST TO MAKE UP FOR CALLING YOUR THINKPAN SMOOTH AND SUPERFLUOUS.
====================
TG: score
TG: we should argue all the time
CG: SNRK
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marlenesluv · 6 months
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Keep It Private. (DR)
summary: in which, you and daniel can’t seem to keep it pg on instagram (married)
warnings: suggestive content
masterlist here -> masterlist link
^ check my list for all posts! ^
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liked by: danielricciardo, lilymhe, and 892,719 others
y/n.ricciardo: i’m in loooveeee
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danielricciardo: kiss meeeee
|> y/n.ricciardo: i’m running to you 🏃‍♀️
|> landonorris: gag, mom and dad are pda-ing again
ricciardo.fp: i love our parents, but omg these pics
pierregasly: are we interrupting something?
|> danielricciardo: yes, yes you are
y/n.dan.fp: i’m so jealous of this relationship
f1updates: pda 🤝 y/n and daniel
lewishamilton: as much as we love you guys and your relationship, we don’t need the cute pictures
|> y/n.ricciardo: i’m sorry you’re single lewis :(
|> lewishamilton: 😐
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liked by: y/n.ricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 1,138,174 others
danielricciardo: fill in the blank: hotel beds are the best for _____
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georgerussell63: sleeping?🙏
|> danielricciardo: sure…
y/nfanpage: ugh, y/n is an irl princess 🫠
y/n.ricciardo: eating🤭
|> danielricciardo: a form of eating, i guess
|> arthur_leclerc: NO NO NO NO
|> landonorris: MY EYESSSSS
|> danielricciardo: shut up
wagsoff1: daniels comment???
|> ricciardo.fp: stop😭 i can not
formulaonepage: GAH
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liked by: danielricciardo, landonorris, and 904,174 others
tagged: landonorris, danielricciardo
y/n.ricciardo: don’t tell lando, but he’s actually good at taking pictures….
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landonorris: i know i am😁
|> y/n.ricciardo: damnit
f1news: soulmates
danielricciardo: my shirt looked so good on you. better on our bedroom floor but 🤷‍♂️
|> y/n.ricciardo: daniel🫢🤭
|> charles_leclerc: this is out of control
|> danielricciardo: not my fault you aren’t in love, man
fp.y/nanddan: parents are being ick again
alex_albon: yuck
|> lilymhe: they are so cute, alex
|> alex_albon: so are we, but we don’t have sex on instagram
|> lilymhe: bye asf
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liked by: y/n.ricciardo, francisca.cgomes, and 1,987,082 others
danielricciardo: debated posting these on my .jpg, but more people need to see how earth shatteringly beautiful my wife is
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y/n.ricciardo: i couldn’t have asked for a better husband ❤️
|> danielricciardo: ikr?! one that gives you love AND orgasms everyday 😁❤️
|> oscarpiastri: NO STOP NO NO
|> georgerussell63: why must we know about your sex life??
|> danielricciardo: i was replying to my wife, not you
|> oscarpiastri: you do know that EVERYONE can see your replies though, right?
|> danielricciardo: so?
f1wags: i really could have lived without seeing their comments
redbullfans: oh boy, daniel is talking about his sex life again
carlossainz55: i’m all for you guys, but was that necessary?
|> y/n.ricciardo: why not 🤷‍♀️
|> landonorris: what do you mean “why not”????
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liked by: danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 1,123,928 others
y/n.ricciardo: since everyone is complaining about not having normal posts on our page, here’s daniel on our vacation last month :)
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daniel.ricciardo: it was so pretty 🥹 (u not the vacation, although that was nice too)
|> y/n.ricciardo: check ur texts
|> landonorris: he just ran out of the paddock. i can only imagine
|> danielricciardo: she sent me an awesome picture
|> y/n.ricciardo: my boobs are “awesome”? nvm, don’t come home
|> danielricciardo: NOOO IM OMW
|> pierregasly: well that innocent post didn’t last long
y/n.fanpage: cute pictures! cant say the same for the comments….
f1updates: take a shot (like this comment) if you’ve ever experienced dan and y/n’s sex life comments
*451,983 likes*
ricciardo.fp: does @f1 not care about these comments?😭
|> f1: what do we even say?
|> redbullracing: we don’t care🤷‍♀️
|> y/nfanpage: WHATS GOING ONNN💀
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(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)
3K notes · View notes
ddejavvu · 5 months
Note
hi!!! ugh ive been rewatching criminal minds and i have such a bad spencer reid addiction
can i request something where y/n and spencer are both a little oblivious. they both like each other and have been on dates and are very close at work, but spencer just kind of assumed they were dating, but y/n didnt know because he never officially asked her to be his girlfriend?
Thank you soso much! im so in love with your wtiting
You and Spencer have very different responses to Penelope's giddy, "You guys are such a cute couple."
Spencer blushes, and ducks his head towards his desk with a smile on his face. He's mortified at the attention on him, but he relishes the compliment all the same. Your face heats up equally warm, but Spencer's thaws immediately when you grumble, "Penny, stop. We're not a couple."
You're not?
Spencer's head is no longer hung towards the desk, instead it's pointed at you with wide eyes and caution flickering in his irises.
"We aren't?"
Your brow furrows, and Penelope's smile begins fading. She lingers, but quickly feels the need to make herself scarce, and scurries away when you double down.
"When did we get together?"
Spencer flounders, his expression only growing more wounded, "We- I've been taking you out for weeks."
"Well- yeah," You stammer, "But- but that doesn't mean-! We're not together, Spence. You haven't asked me."
"I ask you on dates all the time." His voice is empty, clueless and dumbfounded, "We- isn't that dating?"
"We go on dates, but that doesn't mean we're dating!" You insist, years of nitpicky high school etiquette coming in handy, "You have to ask me, Spencer, you have to ask me to be your girlfriend."
"Oh." Spencer's shoulders slump slightly, and you realize with a start that he's contemplating asking.
"Do you want to be together?" You ask him incredulously, suddenly unsure of the dates you'd gone on with him in the past. Apparently they weren't satisfactory if he's not Every happy memory lodges itself like a poison dart into your rapidly beating heart, and you're confused when he nods vigorously.
"Okay. So~," You prompt, leaning towards him in your chair, "Are you going to- y'know, ask me?"
"Are you gonna say yes?" He asks, and though the question is unbearably stupid, the tone in which he asks it is soft and scared and endearing.
"Of course I'm gonna say yes!" You huff, "Spencer, I- I really like you."
"I really like you, too." The furrow in his brow smooths as the last thread of fear cinching it is snipped, and then his pretty pink lips part to finally ask, "Will you be my girlfriend?"
"Yes," You gush, and you'd be embarrassed at how fast you shot from your chair to hug him if he hadn't done the same. The kiss you share is an awkward chaste one, because neither of you have forgotten that you're on duty in a government building, but Spencer's hands wrap tightly around your waist, and you sling yours over his lithe shoulders to crush him in a hug.
"I'm sorry I didn't ask you sooner," He breathes, his voice barely audible even as he speaks against your ear, "I didn't know I was supposed to. I've never done this before."
"It's okay," You assure him, hiding your giddy grin in the knit of his sweater vest, "I'm sorry I scared you when I said we weren't. I just figured you weren't sure yet."
He draws back to thumb at the apple of your cheek, a lock of his hair dangling in front of his face from where it slipped from behind his ear.
"I'm sure," He vows, eyes boring into yours with a sincere sparkle, "And you're-? I mean, you're totally sure?"
"Totally," You let out a gushy laugh, "I'm glad you're my boyfriend, Spencer."
"Me too," He agrees, with a smile on his face that clocks in just short of disbelief, "And-! And I mean, I'm glad you're my girlfriend."
You're not permitted more than three seconds of the sentimental atmosphere you've created around you when Rossi decides you're distracting the rest of the team.
"Alright, lovebirds, this is wonderful for you, but I'm sure Hotch doesn't want you heavy petting on government time."
You flush and Spencer does the same, breaking away from you reluctantly as you grumble about government positions needing age caps. Rossi pays no mind to your insults, though, because Hotch's voice steals his attention, threaded with a spark of amusement.
"Oh, soften up, Dave." He calls from where he'd been obscured from view at the far end of the kitchenette, "I know you're three divorces bitter, but the rest of us are happy for them."
2K notes · View notes
glossysoap · 4 months
Note
Imagine cockwarmimg with ghost and he has to hold you still so you stop squirming 🤤
late night work ; ghost
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warnings/tags: fem reader, cockwarming obvi, praise, minor degradation, purposeful lowercase.
notes: (….) = scene change. WARENAI my love!! im so so sorry for taking so long!!! thank you for your patience and for being so supportive throughout all of this. i’m working on all of your other amazing, scrumptious thoughts, i assure you. <333
word count: 1.5k
🏷️: @warenai @viylikescats @cassiecasluciluce @divine--serenity @ghastlybirdie @lilpothoscuttings @jumbojazzcats93 @krakenbabe @lordlydragon @violet-phantoms @bunnyreaper @blackrose4242 @ansaturn @luvecarson @kenqki @luvmeijii @mercurysjoy @shadowycreatormentality (struck out names are accounts that tumblr won’t let me tag)
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sitting in bed, waiting for him to finish his reports, being desperate for his attention :( coming up behind him as he sat in his office chair, leaning down and putting your hands on his shoulders, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.
the bright light of the computer illuminated both of your faces as he continued to tap away at his keyboard.
“mmm, hello darlin’.” he hummed, turning his head away from his computer to press a kiss to your cheek.
“si,” you would whine against his neck. “how much longer ‘til you’re done?” you would press tender kisses along his jaw and under his ear.
you could feel the low vibration of a chuckle erupt from his throat.
“why, little bird? you needy?” he would tease, smirk evident in his smug voice.
you only whined once more as an answer, your hands moving from their resting place on his shoulders down to graze at his clothed chest. one hand resting over his heart, feeling the comforting thump-thump of his heart pumping blood to the rest of his body. you could also feel the organ race under your touch, proving how you affected him wholly and fully.
“can’t even fuckin’ talk, you’re so desperate.” he laughs.
“ugh, don’t be mean.” your words would be muffled against his neck as you pout.
he only chuckles at your whine.
“you’re not gonna go to bed anytime soon, are ya’?” he asks, swiveling his chair to look at you fully. you were already ready for bed, wearing a pair of short shorts and his oversized sweater. ‘lieutenant, simon riley’ was sewn onto the breast pocket in thick black lettering. the sweater smelled like him, a mix of leather and earthy woods. with a faint hint of gunpowder.
so familiar. so comforting.
you also wore a pout on your lips as you stood next to him, your hands resting on his shoulders.
“i would.. if you stopped working.” you mumbled under your breath.
“well, we both know i can’t do that. so why don’t we compromise, hm?”
(….)
only mere minutes later you were sat on his lap, your panties were yanked down your legs as whimpers fell from your lips. your arms were wrapped around him, clinging desperately to his bulk and muscle in an attempt to ground yourself in reality. he had turned back to his work, facing his computer again — but with you sitting on his cock this time. your juices making such a mess all over his lap, drenching your thighs and dripping onto his. coating his coat and dripping down his balls.
you were just itching to grind down on his cock, bounce on it until you had your fill and came around him. but he wouldn’t let you.
“no, no, no. you interrupted me. you couldn’t wait for me to finish working.” he murmured into the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “so you aren’t gonna move. you’re not gonna set the pace.”
while he was typing with his dominant hand, his other hand was busy holding your hips in place with an almost bruising force. he could feel you squirm and twitch around him as you tried to chase your own pleasure, but he wouldn’t have that.
every time he sensed you trying to bounce or grind your hips down, he would give your bare ass a slight smack. not enough to hurt per say, but enough to stop any disobedience from you in its tracks.
you would yelp every time his palm struck across your skin, immediately stilling in his lap.
your gasps and hitched breaths was the only sound that accompanied the sound of his fingers hitting the keyboard. the only sounds leaving his lips, besides him chastising you of course, were his deep breathing.
“please, si.” you would whine into his neck, trying your best to stay still all while feeling so fucking full.
“quiet down, pup. can’t focus with you whinin’ in my ear.” he mutters, bringing his palm down to swat at your ass once more. then keeping his large hand there, splaying across your skin and digging his fingers in. surely with enough force to leave crescent marks in your skin as he held you still on his cock.
you bit your lip and squeezed your eyes shut, your teeth digging in so deep that it almost drew blood. you buried your face in the crook of his neck, feeling his warmth against your cheeks as you tried desperately to obey. to stay still and keep your mouth shut. you willed yourself to focus on his heartbeat thrumming against your cheek and the warmth of his skin against yours.
and that was all going fine, until he thrusted his hips up into you. all under the guise of ‘readjusting his position’.
“mmm,” you whimper brokenly, unable to stop yourself from clenching around his cock. “quit being mean.”
“oh, sorry, what was that doll?” he murmured into your ear with an air of faux innocence. you could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke.
“quit— ngh, moving! please.” you begged into his neck, your pouting lips brushing against his stubbled skin.
“oh, i’m sure you can hold out a bit longer.” was all he crooned before ‘readjusting’ once more.
you felt his cock reach deeper as he bucked his hips again, making you gasp into his neck. you felt that knot in your stomach grow tighter, as you tried so hard to keep the impending orgasm at bay.
you even found yourself holding your breath, as if that would stop the pleasure building up in your stomach.
“squeezin’ me so tight, pup. bet you’re getting real close, hm?”
you would only whine in response, burying yourself in his chest as if you could escape from his cruel treatment. your hands fisted the fabric of his shirt, just trying to hold on as he brought an onslaught of pleasure to you with each thrust.
“simon! stop,” you cried, your voice cracking as your hips finally grind down onto his cock again. “you know i’m close!”
your voice sounded so broken, so pathetic when it hit his ears that he just had to take pity on you.
“go on, then. fuck yourself on my dick. grind that needy little cunt down. but i’m not gonna help you. you’re gonna do all the work, darling.”
the moment those words passed his lips, you didn’t waste a single second in bouncing on his cock. all of the wetness from your cunt and the precum from his cock that had accumulated were now making lewd wet sounds with each bounce.
you shifted your position to where your hands were placed on his broad shoulders, perfect to use as a handle while you moved your hips up and down. as soon as you started building a momentum, you exhaled the breath you were holding and instead let out the wanton moan that was building in your chest.
“simon, fuck!” your eyes rolled back as you bounced on his cock, your hands pressing on his strong shoulders with each bounce.
your mind was so fuzzy that you didn’t see simon had completely abandoned his work, in favor of staring up at you. his hands slipped underneath your shirt and grazed up your stomach, before groping at your tits. his thumbs tweaked your nipples, pressing down and rubbing to make the buds pucker.
just that little extra bit of stimulation was enough to make your breath hitch, clenching even more around his cock.
“squeezin’ me so tight, doll. love this fuckin’ cunt.” he ground out, giving your breasts a rough squeeze.
all of the time spent sitting as still as a statue on his cock had made you unbelievably wet and stretched you out perfectly, already bringing you halfway to orgasm. so when you were finally allowed to fuck yourself on his cock, that knot in your stomach only grew quicker and quicker.
“oh my god, fuck,” you cried out as you felt yourself inching dangerously close to the edge.
“so fuckin’ perfect. look so pretty splitting yourself open on my cock.” his lips quirked up into a smirk as he watched you take his cock so good, because you were so fucking good.
“always so fucking good.”
when he heard your moans shift into broken cries, he knew you were so close. you only needed one final push before you were creaming on his cock, squeezing him for all he was worth.
wearing a wolfish grin, his teeth glinting and all, he brought two fingers up to his mouth and sucked them for a moment. once they were nice and wet, he wasted no time in bringing those fingers down to your cunt and started rubbing your swollen clit.
he only laughed when he heard you choke out a moan, seeing your mouth hang open as your orgasm washed over you. his fingers never stopped teasing your swollen, sore nub as you drenched on his cock.
“there you go, good fuckin’ girl.”
©️ glossysoap 2024. please do not steal, copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my works without my permission. do not steal any elements of my theme without permission. you can use this work as a scriptfill for gonewildaudios as long as you credit me and link me.
933 notes · View notes
pierregazly · 7 months
Text
a diamond's gotta shine ꨄ lance stroll smau
lance stroll x fem!reader
pic credit: pinterest
i know lance is daddy's money through and through (and i love a nepo baby sorry), but he is so 'my love language is gift giving so i'm going to spoil my girlfriend with everything i can' boyfriend material so here's that basically
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yourusername
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liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, estebanocon, and 467,891 others
yourusername he ALWAYS let me drive the truck... sorry taylor
view all 1,347 comments
lance_stroll it is not a truck and PLEASE stop eating in the aston martin
lance_stroll at least stop eating in it without me
chloestroll wouldn't want a matcha date with anyone else 💗
liked by yourusername and 462 others
username imagine just casually eating fruit in a literal aston martin??? i dont even eat fruit in my car in fear of everything getting sticky 😭
username i want her life so bad
lance_stroll
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tagged yourusername
liked by yourusername, chloestroll, fernandoalo_oficial, and 1,206,708 others
lance_stroll spent the last 2 years with her shoes in my hands after nights out, hoping for a hundred more
view all 9,071 comments
yourusername i am SO obsessed with you
yourusername even after 2 years, gonna be obsessed with u forever lance_stroll wouldn't have it any other way
username the toaster and i have a hot date with the bathtub tonight
username the things i would do to have lance stroll hold my shoes in his million dollar hands after a night out :(
username i want someone to love me even half as much as lance loves y/n ugh
chloestroll i taught you well
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yourusername
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tagged lance_stroll
liked by lance_stroll, yourfriend, estebanocon, and 450,687 others
yourusername all i asked for was a picture, and he decided to give me 2 years of his life and his heart. i'll love you til my lungs give out.
view all 3,491 comments
username all she asked for was a PICTURE 😭 and he gave her his heart 😭 and she'll love him til her lungs give out 😭
username im literally throwing up, sobbing, screaming, dying at this caption
lance_stroll my heart has been yours since the day you blew my breath away
liked by 5,782 users
username i usually hate lovey-dovey couples but these two... girl they got me wanting to be adopted frfr
username im calling it... girlypop's gonna have a ring by year 3 for sure
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lance_stroll
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liked by yourusername, mickschumacher, chloestroll, and 203,456 others
lance_stroll yeehaw
view all 2,340 comments
username this is such a look... are we sure this man isn't from alberta
yourusername i will save all the horses if it means i get to ride this cowboy
username y/n.... estebanocon there are children on this app
username i was literally waiting for that y/n comment... these two are disgustingly unhinged
yourusername has added a story
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liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, and others
replies
lance_stroll why didn't you post the pic of both of us in the bath :(
yourusername i wasn't trying to traumatize your family my love lance_stroll u posted that you're going to 'ride this cowboy' but a pic of me in the bath is too much?
yourusername
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tagged lance_stroll
liked by lance_stroll, scottyjames31, chloestroll, and 102,340 others
yourusername do you think i get to meet emily in paris or am i stuck with lance
view all 1,341 comments
lance_stroll i just bought you that croissant and coffee and this is what i get as thanks????
yourusername i am so obsessed w u im sorry my favourite cowboy 🥺
username this is so wholesome lance is so boyfriend coded im crying
username y/n is literally living her best life ever i want to be her so bad
scottyjames31 i just know all of these photos were taken at least 75 times
yourusername mind ur own business scotty
lance_stroll and yourusername
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liked by chloestroll, estebanocon, mickschumacher and 2,304,550 others
lance_stroll watching you walk down the aisle will make me the luckiest man alive
view all 6,789 comments
estebanocon did you pay her to say yes?? congratulations you two 🥂
chloestroll even though i helped plan this entire thing i STILL cried on the phone. so happy for you both!!
username this man bought her like 5k worth of goodies and then put a RING that's probably worth my yearly salary on her finger??? god has chosen his favourite
yourusername im so lucky to be the one you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. je t'aime 💗
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taglist
@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @leclerces
i didnt tag anyone that specifically requested in the replies to be tagged for 'to live for the hope of it all' and all its parts (mostly bc idk how taglists work and i dont wanna bother yall), so if you'd like to be on my taglist for everything please send me a quick ask/dm (or u can just reply and say you'd like to be tagged for everything)! thank you for all the love
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