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gurugirl · 5 months

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The Ex | ex!harry

Summary: Harry's your ex-lover and you see him at a wedding after many years apart. You're both married but Harry proposes something that you have a hard time saying no to.

A/n: This will have a jucier, alternative ending but you'll only find it on Patreon! I consider this Tumblr version to be what happens in 'real life'. Enjoy!

Word Count: 3435

Warning: 18+ only, mentions of smut, emotional cheating, angst

You had no way of knowing he’d be there. But then again, he also had no clue that you would be there either.

You spotted one another right away. It was as if by magic something had drawn your eyes to his. He was already casting his gaze toward you, those soft green eyes taking you in as he held the hand of the woman to his right.

Your heart skipped a beat and looking at him again after all those years felt like there hadn’t been a day that aged him. He looked just as youthful and vibrant and handsome as ever. Dark curls placed carefully on top of his head in a flattering style, broad shoulders, a slender waist, and nicely fitted pants showing off what you remember being very sturdy and masculine thighs.

“Oh! Here are our seats!” Your husband, Les, spoke from your side and pulled at your hand, drawing your attention back to where it belonged.

You shook yourself of the direction your thoughts had been headed just before. What good did it do to remember how things were once upon a time? When you were young and in college, no kids or a career… things had been so different back then. And seeing your ex, the man you thought you’d marry, the one you thought would be by your side until you grew old and ugly…

“Are you okay, babe?” Les asked you with concern on his face.

“I’m fine… yeah! Just looking around and seeing a bunch of old faces. People I haven’t seen in years.”

You were at a friend’s wedding. Someone you, by some miracle, had stayed in touch with since high school. You had grown apart from Seria over the years but she still invited you to her wedding and you couldn’t imagine missing it even though you had to find an overnight sitter for your two kids and drive five hours to a different state to attend. Something told you it would be worth it.

You turned slowly to glance around the room again, your wine glass in hand and caught his eye again. The woman he was seated next to was as lovely as she was when you first met. You remembered her. She was in your senior graduating class. An acquaintance. Someone that Harry had grown close to but that you hadn’t gotten to know all that well. At first, her presence didn’t threaten you. But after you all graduated she and Harry became inseparable and he slowly began spending less time with you and more time with her. They had a lot in common, as you recall. They were both music majors, they’d write music together and play at bars in tiny scraped-together bands occasionally.

You found out on accident about how serious he was about her. No one thought you didn’t know.

You had visited a mutual friend’s apartment and stopped in for tea and a little chat. Sarah had a whiteboard hung up on her front door, facing the inside. People would write on it. Doodle pictures, scrawl their names in different colors, or just leave funny messages.

You didn’t take note of the whiteboard at first but when you sat down on Sarah’s couch you looked up at it and saw what had been written in black with red hearts all around.

harry + ginny = really good stuff

It took you a moment to let it all sink in after you saw that. You and Sarah made small talk but you couldn’t stop thinking about what was written on the whiteboard. And the hearts all around it told you it meant more than just something friendly. So you had to interrupt and ask, “Is that… my Harry?” You already knew the answer.

Sarah followed your gaze to the whiteboard and she let out a small gasp, “Oh! I forgot that was there. Are you okay about all this? I know it’s still fresh. You and Harry were together for years.”

“Am I okay about what? What’s fresh?” You began to feel yourself tremble and your heart was racing. You were suddenly having a hard time taking in any new information because it all came crashing down on you at that very moment. The reality of what was going on. You were the last to know about Harry and Ginny. He hadn’t even had the balls to break it off with you first.

You hardly remember leaving Sarah’s apartment after she told you that they��d been dating, and from what she said, rather openly. No one had bothered to talk to you about it. Everyone just assumed you knew.

Of course, you went directly to Harry’s apartment and found Ginny there already. They hadn’t been doing anything bad when you barged in. Ginny was on his couch with a notebook in hand and Harry was on the floor with a guitar in his arms.

He looked up at you from his spot on the floor and it’s like you blacked out. You can’t quite recall what was said but in the end, he wound up telling you the truth. That he’d fallen in love with Ginny and he was going to tell you soon but that he didn’t know how because he didn’t want to hurt you.

After that, you still saw Harry. He was part of your friend group and so it was inevitable that you’d run into him from time to time. After a couple of years, things were fine between you two and you’d met Les. You’d both moved on. Things had changed. And then you moved away with Les and you got pregnant, twice, and now six years later, here you were again looking at the man who once was your everything. He’d broken your heart but you were both so young and dumb back then that it was all but forgotten.

The past was the past, but you could still feel that small clench in your heart at how things had ended with Harry.

More drinks were drunk, snacks were served, and dancing commenced… the night was fun. Les was hilarious. He was an awful dancer but he insisted on taking you to the floor with him. You both laughed and swayed to the music in the crowded spot in the hall designated for dancing.

And as much fun as you were having you couldn’t stop thinking about or catching glimpses of Harry. It appeared he couldn’t get you off his mind either. It was rather flattering in a way. To have him looking at you from across the room. The subtle smiles and nods. You felt really good about keeping your distance, though. Even though at the very end of everything, you and Harry were on good terms and had been friendly, it had been so long. Too long. You felt there was no use in having a chat. Nothing good would come of it. You’d grown apart. Lives took separate paths. Old exes at a wedding had no good reason to catch up when you’d likely never see one another ever again. It was easier to stay away. Better for everyone.

Les ordered another round of whatever he’d been drinking and suddenly wasn’t feeling so hot. You both sat at your table with a couple of the other guests who were still there. Many were dropping like flies, as tends to happen at weddings. Luckily the hotel was connected to the reception hall so getting Les to your room was not that difficult.

You knew you should have stayed with him. Just called it a night and tucked in for your early morning back home to pick up your children. But against your better judgment, you decided on just one more drink.

The band was still playing, slower music than when you’d left. Most of the tables were empty as people mingled and danced slowly. You sat at the bar and searched the room for Harry. You figured he and Ginny had gone to their room, or back home depending on how far away they lived from the venue. It was nearly midnight. The band would wrap up in a half hour and that would be that.

You sighed and turned back to face the bar and sipped your last glass of wine of the night. You’d said your hellos to everyone you wanted to. Except Harry. Deep down you really did want to say hi to him but you knew better. There was something that was telling you to keep your distance and you were glad for it. Maybe it was subconscious or perhaps there were still feelings there after all this time. You knew the truth. But you weren’t ready to admit any of that to yourself.

“Hi, Sunshine.”

You felt a wave of heat and excitement thrum through your bones. It was him. He used to call you Sunshine. Sunny. Used to sing You Are My Sunshine to you every day.

You turned to see Harry taking the chair next to you at the bar, “Hi, Harry.”

You took him in. All of his handsome face. Those pink lips you used to nibble, the nose you used to smush yours into for wispy nose-tip kisses. His intense gaze was just as it had been all those years before. You wanted to reach your fingers out and stretch them over his jawline and feel the stubble on the pads of your fingers. He was so grown up. So unchanged and yet more mature. More handsome in some ways.

He drew his arm along the back of your chair and leaned in close as he spoke to you as if you two were a couple. As if nothing had ever come between you nearly 8 years prior, “You are more beautiful than I even remember, Sunny. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you at least once.”

You hadn’t expected him to let that be his leading comment. The first thing spoken to you in so long. But Harry didn’t follow conventions or rules. He never had. So it shouldn’t have surprised you that his first comment to you was how he thought about you every day. You wondered if that was true. Because there were days you thought about Harry still too. It wasn’t every single day. Some days he didn’t cross your mind at all. But of course, you did often think of him.

“I doubt that, Harry. You’re still big on flattery, I see,” you smiled shyly and peeled your eyes away from his to sip your wine.

When his thigh brushed into yours you could smell his cologne. It was different than what he wore in college. It was more grown up. Smelled expensive. Smelled more like something Harry should wear, “I wrote a song about you not too long ago. Ginny doesn’t know, but it brought back a lot of old memories.”

His voice was soft and deep and the timbre traveled from your ear down to your neck and your bare shoulder. You swallowed thickly and dared to turn to look at him again, knowing he was too close. Knowing what this would look like if anyone were to see you two.

“Where is Ginny?”

Harry’s small grin widened and his eyes sparkled as he looked down at your lips and shook his head, “In our room. She was tired. Just like I imagine Les is in yours.”

You blinked and looked away. You were flying too close to the sun, you knew it. This was dangerous territory and Harry was orchestrating something very wrong. Something you’d only regret. But you weren’t doing anything to stop it. Maybe curiosity had you sticking around. Maybe it was for old time’s sake. Or maybe it was just that you missed him and missed this and missed the way things had been.

You didn’t know how to respond but your body was on fire. Harry’s warm leg was pressed into yours and his large frame practically had you caged in. You loved it.

“Look at me, Sunshine,” he whispered as he softly touched your chin and nudged your face toward his, “There we go. Remember that time we loaded up my old Bronco and drove straight through to San Francisco? Thought we were gonna find an apartment and live like hippies in the big city and just write and paint and make music and that’s how we’d make all our money?”

You laughed and nodded, “I do. But instead, your Bronco broke down in Oakland at 3 am and we had to stay the night in the back of your car and get a tow back home.”

Harry laughed through his nose as he nodded his head, eyes still pinned to yours, “Wish it would have worked out between us. I miss all the fun we used to have. Me and you.”

You opened your mouth to respond but you were stuck. He was laying it on thick. He was never one to beat around the bush. He hadn’t changed. It was part of what drew people to him. His magnetism. His confidence.

“Don’t you miss it, Sunny?” He brushed his knuckle over your wrist and you inhaled sharply. Just the smallest touch had you spiraling. You would have to fight your way out of his trance if you intended on not allowing this to go any further.

You shook your head and looked down at your lap, “I don’t know, Harry.”

“We’d stay up all night making love until the sun came up. Miss classes. Skip out on parties we promised people we’d go to. Just in our own world all the time. It never got boring with you. For years we were like that. It’s never been like that with anyone else. All that passion we had, Sunny. My Sunshine girl. Never.”

You sighed and… yes. You did recall all that passion. And it was true. For nearly four years you and Harry were insatiable. It was like every day was your first date. Your first time. Like you were still getting to know one another after all those years. Sex had never been better. Harry was your best by far. You didn’t like to compare anyone to him but that’s only because it made you miss him. Made you miss the way you felt. Missed that lust and that passion and the vulnerability.

“I know you know what I mean,” Harry slid his hand down to your thigh discretely. No one in the room could see but you knew he was touching you in a way you hadn’t felt in so long. In a way that was only reserved for your husband. Felt that familiar, big palm spread over the expanse of your soft thigh, his thumb lightly grazing the bottom hem of your dress.

“Harry…” you breathed his name in warning.

“My Sunshine, girl,” he spoke the pet name back to you without an ounce of teasing. He was perfectly clear in what he wanted. And even though he hadn’t said it outright, there was no denying it.

“I’m married.” You reasoned weakly as you let your gaze rove his features and drop to his plush lips.

“So am I.” He squeezed your thigh and your limbs were on fire. You didn’t know how to escape the moment. You didn’t know if you wanted to. He was “the one who got away”. Even though everything hurt when it happened and he’d done you wrong, you’d long ago forgiven him and now it was just two old lovers feeling that same heat and desire they once felt. Some things from the past could be forgotten. But the way things felt between you, that constant spark, the wild lust every single day for all those years would never be forgotten.

You still dreamed about him. Would wake up hot and panting and roll over to see Les fast asleep with his face tucked into his pillow and you’d close your eyes and remember the time… Remember his voice and his hands and the way he made you feel. How free and exciting life was with Harry.

And it was all coming back to you in an insane, surreal, mind-bending rush. Everything about him was the same as it was before you graduated college. Before he fell for Ginny. Before you two grew apart and you got married and moved away. You could almost taste the skin on his hips near his laurel tattoos. Could smell the scent of his sex mixed with yours. Could hear the laughs and the moans and neighbors beating on the wall telling you to keep it down. Could feel the way you loved him once upon a time, the way he loved you so deeply it scared you. Loved you so much you never could imagine that he’d ever love another.

“You’ve lost your fucking mind,” you whispered with a grin.

He shook his head, “I’ve never been more clear-headed in my life.”

You licked your lips and closed your eyes. Every time you thought you’d wake up from the dream you felt him move against you, felt his fingers on your skin and you were continuously dropped down into your seat at the bar at your friend’s wedding with your ex at your side and his words snaking into your ears.

The only thought that kept you grounded was knowing that there was nowhere for him to take you that was private. Because that had already, obviously, crossed your mind. To have another taste. One last time just for old-time’s sake. But it seemed impossible. It seemed ridiculous to even entertain. And yet there you were.

“Remember that small room with the table and chair on the second floor of the library we used to go to? Had a lock,” Harry’s warm hand stayed on your thigh as he spoke.

You did remember that. You found a room in the 2nd-floor corridor that connected to a small hallway off the library. The hallway had four doors. They were all locked but one of them just so happened to unlock if you lifted the knob upward and jiggled it just right. The room was bare of furniture except a small wooden table pushed against the wall and a fabric swivel chair with wheels. Both of which you learned to make good use of. It wasn’t hard to find a use for random surfaces with Harry back then.

Nodding and squinting your eyes at the man you spoke, “Of course I do.”

“I want to get you alone in a room again,” he lowered his voice and leaned in so that his voice was close and the front of his shoulder was pressed into the back of yours, “Just one more time. Something just for you and me, Sunny. I miss you.”

You couldn’t believe the way he’d gotten you worked up in almost no time. The way you still reacted to him and the need crawling up your spine made you dizzy.

“There’s no place to go here, Harry. No free room. We can’t anyway… you know we can’t,” you looked at his face and held your breath. You couldn’t do this. It was wrong.

“We can find something. A hidden spot where no one will ever know.”

You looked away from his fierce gaze and down at your glass. You swallowed thickly and shook your head as you reluctantly pulled yourself from his side and stepped off the stool, “Harry. We can’t. I have kids. My husband is… I love him. I don’t love you anymore. I could never forgive myself.”

He clenched his jaw as he nodded, “No one would know.” He looked at you with pleading eyes. You could tell he knew this wasn’t going to happen.

“I would know,” you dropped some cash on the bar and looked back at Harry as you squeezed his shoulder, “But it does feel good to know that you regret replacing me with someone else even after all this time.”

As you walked away you took a deep breath and smiled to yourself. You could have said yes. Could have found yourself in some room or bathroom stall with him getting exactly what you knew he could deliver. But you didn’t regret saying no. You didn’t regret walking away from him. It felt good to have the upper hand. Something you had no idea that you’d had all along. The man who you thought you’d lost really turned out to be the man who’d lost you.

Find the other version with the alternative ending here on my Patreon!

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verysium · 6 months

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ACT 1, SCENE 2: blue lock headcanons

nagi found out amazon product testers were a real thing, and he had never been more happy in his entire life. if he wasn't training to become a professional football player, that would have been his dream job.

sae became a victim of the cat distribution system the moment he moved to spain. he left his window open once, and he came back to a whole secret society of strays on his fire escape.

aryu used to watch his mother do her makeup in the bathroom every morning. after she left for work, he would use her hair curlers and nail polish to bedazzle himself. if you ever ask him to do your makeup, he would tilt your chin up with one hand and ever so gently swipe on your lipstick for you.

kaiser is a whore for attention, even if it is bad attention. if you're not listening to him during dinner, he would most definitely steal the food right off your plate whilst maintaining eye contact. gives you the most shit-eating grin once you catch him.

rin genuinely cannot function around the female species. sometimes his aunties make small talk during family gatherings, and he just sits awkwardly with his baby cousin in his arms. the baby almost always cries.

sae still uses his ipod from 2005. he doesn't have any interest in music, so he mostly uses it as a white noise filler during long flights. if you send him a song recommendation though, he will listen to it.

rin kept a diary as a teenager with some of the entries completely filled with angsty scribblings about sae. he definitely had an entire section somewhere dedicated to death and existentialism. the second half of his journal is reserved solely for you though. he sometimes doodles flowers in the margins.

raichi is chronically online. he would be the type to have an entire four-page argument with a stranger in the youtube comment section. sometimes you have to remind him that the outside world actually exists, and he needs to go outside and touch grass.

sae is secretly intrigued by artists. like how can you just transfer an image from your head onto paper? is it some sort of magic? he cannot wrap his mind around anything that isn't concrete and tangible. he sometimes walks through the streets of madrid just to spy on the old people painting the sea. if you made a drawing of him, he would internally malfunction.

isagi used to help his mother with knitting and sewing. he even learned how to crochet one summer but forgot all about it once he got into football. would not complain if you asked him to do laundry or iron clothes. he is (most of the time) very sweet and kind.

bachira does not have a sleep schedule. what is sleep? he only knows 24/7 hyperactivity and the demons under his bed. would wake you up at the crack of dawn just to go hang out in some random abandoned parking lot.

sae has to physically restrain himself whenever he does shoots for brand endorsements. he would definitely tell the truth if the product was low-quality while literally being on set for its commercial. this man does not lie. cannot model for the life of him. he lost his ability to smile a long time ago, and he feels viscerally ill every time a camera is shoved into his face. if you're there to accompany him though, he will straighten up and at least attempt to look enthusiastic.

rin is terrible at any sort of class that involves creative writing. however, he does enjoy reading haikus. it's the only form of poetry he can understand. definitely sends you one when he misses you.

reo is clueless whenever you tell him that you feel ugly in your outfit. like where is the ugliness? all he sees is the most stunning person in the world. definitely recommend taking him shopping. he would go into the fitting rooms with you and give you the most encouraging confidence boost you have ever felt.

sae has the strongest enamel in existence because he bites his popsicles right off the stick. rin tried to do that once and ended up getting brain freeze.

yukimiya is the type to go from 0 to 100 in less than a millisecond. if anyone says anything remotely negative about you, he will definitely make sure they do not live to see the light of day. he does all this with the most charming smile on his face too.

shidou has no table manners. he would be the messiest eater in existence. if the dining hall looks like a velociraptor just barraged through, you know shidou was there. he only uses a napkin because you told him to.

rin wears chelsea boots and women's clothing. he has a collection of trench coats in his closet, and they're one of the only things he's incredibly proud of. at least he beats sae when it comes to fashion sense.

ness would pack you lunch every day without you even asking for it. he also uses those glittery animal toothpicks and cuts your apples into hearts. his paper notes are little menacing though. usually it has your name written a thousand times in blood red ink.

sae would let you braid flowers into his hair, but he would wrinkle his nose in embarrassment if you ever took a picture of it. he tries to act nonchalant when you gush about how pretty he is because in his mind he looks incredibly stupid. will keep that photo by his bedside and look at it when he's lonely though.

isagi is incredibly clumsy. sometimes he will act like an egomaniac before falling right on his face. the world has an interesting way of humbling him. he does keep his mood swings in check when you're around though. your presence gives his mind inner peace.

otoya has color-coded folders for every girl he has dated. he keeps their names, likes, dislikes, and contacts all separately filed so he doesn't confuse them. however, on your night out, he got so caught up in talking to you, he forgot to even update your file. the date ended with him smiling like a damn fool. you're always the exception.

aiku is the type to just be casual about everything. he just got into a car accident while on call with you? that's okay because he got to hear your pretty voice on facetime. he took a tidal wave straight to the face while ogling you at the beach? that's no problem because he got a sneak-peek at your cute little bathing suit. this man literally has no sense of self-preservation when it comes to you.

bachira was the kid who tried to mix up weird concoctions at the school lunch table. now it translates into drinking both an energy drink and americano at once. you had to pull him away from the soda fountain because he kept trying to add every single drink combination possible into his red solo cup.

sae would blatantly stare at your ass and then tell you it was for research purposes. if you press further, he will pull up the statistics showing how buttock size correlates with athletic ability.

rin is obsessed with tea only because he saw his brother drink it at family dinners. he always sat up straight on the zabuton and sipped the bitter leaf juice as a way to impress the grown-ups. unfortunately for him, he developed a caffeine addiction in his late teens.

niko would be the tech-savvy person in your relationship. he doesn't believe in traditional flowers, so he codes you an entire HTML webpage with roses on the user interface. he also wholeheartedly believes that virtual pets are real pets.

shidou is an adrenaline junkie. he has six piercings, two of which are helix. he also snowboards during the winter and speeds on the highway for fun. (don't be like shidou, kids.)

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hisui-dreamer · 10 months

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CONGRATS ON 1K RINNAAAA :((( YOU WERE ONE OF MY FIRST MOOTS EVER AND ITS MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND PROUD THAT YOU HIT THIS MILESTONE!! THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF THE MOST WARM AND WELCOMING PEOPLE IVE MET IN THIS FANDOM <33 YOURE SUCH A GIFT ITS INSANE!!!!!

IM SURE THIS DOESNT SURPRISE YOU BUT!!! for the 1k event i was thinking soulmate au with azul (HEHE) except its the doodle one? LIKE WHERE YOU DOODLE ON YOUR BODY AND YOUR SOULMATES GETS THE SAME MARKINGS YK

and i have a habit of doodling sea creatures like octopi and morays on my arms and hands so i think it'd be cute for him to like, take his gloves off one day and just see a little eel on the back of his hand :((( squishy guy <3333

headcanons or a drabble is totally fine, whichever one is easier for you!!!! thank you for easing me into this fandom :(( i will never be able to thank you enough for making my anxious ass WAY less nervous <3 and no pressure if this doesnt inspire you ofc hehe you're never obligated to write anything !!! :D

the doodles that drew us together

Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x gn!reader

Synopsis: Azul thought all his life he didn't have a soulmate...

Tags: soulmates au (doodling), reader is yuu, fluff, comfort, reader likes sea creatures, bot proofread

Word count: 591

Notes: aubbie thank you so much!!! I'm so glad we became moots, you're one of my closest friends and everything I see something azul related I think of you haha! I hope you'll enjoy this azul soulmate au ♪⁠ヽ⁠(⁠･⁠ˇ⁠∀⁠ˇ⁠･⁠ゞ⁠)

Masterlist

Azul had been fascinated by the idea of soulmates as a young mer

it was something that gave him hope, that despite all the other mean mers who would make fun of him, there was someone out there who would understand him and love him

and so he kept drawing on his arm, doodles of shells and other fish that caught his eye

but there wasn't any response.

maybe his doodles were too ugly and his soulmate didn't like them?

and so he learned to draw better, drawing again and again, hoping he would get a response

but still not a single mark would appear on him

it had been a tough blow to him, but he eventually accepted that he didn't have a soulmate

if he was going to be alone for all his life, then he had to take care of himself (because nobody would)

he became super greedy and selfish, always prioritising himself and his materialistic needs

although he also had a friendship with the tweels, he really only befriended them because they could help him out (but he did get attached to them over time)

and so, he opened the mostro lounge and became the sly businessman that we all know

on the first day of his second year, as he was going over documents after closing the lounge, he felt a slight tingle in his hand

Azul's eyebrow rose in response to an unexpected sensation. A peculiar warmth, like a gentle caress, emanated from the back of his gloved hand. Intrigued, he swiftly removed his gloves, revealing smooth, pale skin. A gasp of astonishment escaped his lips as his eyes fell upon a minuscule masterpiece, a tiny, adorable octopus delicately inked in pen.

"Is this...real?" Azul murmured, his voice tinged with disbelief. A surge of hope surged through his entire being, dispelling the weight that had burdened him for far too long.

With a trembling hand, he grasped his own pen and cautiously began to sketch his own octopus upon his wrist, with one tentacle reaching out, holding hands with your octopus.

And he can't stop he smile that graces his lips when a little heart appears between the two octopi.

What a hectic day it had been! For a magicless student to arrive in NRC and for him to finally connect with his soulmate!

...?

Oh. Azul had to speak to said magicless student as soon as possible.

when the two of you start being a couple, Azul does everything and anything for you

when you're in exams and your nervously doodling sea creatures, he'll draw some flowers nearby to help calm you down

no he doesn't help you cheat by writing you the answers, he's already given you the perfect study materials, you shoud put in some effort too

he gets jealous if you draw other sea creatures too much though, especially moray eels

he lets you work at the lounge with a very high pay, making sure you're not working too hard, and always offers to tutor you if you're struggling

his soulmate had to go to a different world just to find him, you'll be sure he helps to settle in and hopefully never leave again

Insert clingy octopus wrapping his tentacles all around you because he can't bare to let you go

when you have dates and appointments, he'll help remind you by writing on his arm

this man has waited for you his entire life, he's ready to lay the world down at your feet if you ask him to

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

#✧1k! another life✦#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst wonderland #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #✧auburn🐙✦

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kingyo-konbini · 1 year

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FRIENDLY REMINDERS & MATH EQUATIONS [SHINSOU HITOSHI X READER]

[SUMMARY] what one person writes on their skin also appears on the skin of their soulmate. reader is forgetful and shinsou is bored. awkwardness ensues. [PRONOUNS] she/her [GENRE] fluff | soulmate au [POV] third person [WORD COUNT] 1083 [CONTENT] soulmate-identifying marks | pov switch between reader & shinsou | math

She was forgetful.

[Name] always had an issue with remembering things. She would put reminders on her phone, sticky notes on her walls, and big red words on her whiteboard and in her planner. And yet, somehow, she always seemed to miss them. The only thing she found that would work (and that wasn't even a guarantee) was writing the reminders on her wrist and hand and arm.

When she first started doing it she worried that it would bother her soulmate, the person who saw the scribbled notes appear on their own skin as though they had written it. But, after a while, she forgot about that, too.

...

He was bored.

Shinsou Hitoshi had a problem with staying awake during study hall. He was fine during the actual lessons, hoping to soak up as much hero stuff as he could, but when he was left to his own devices he became utterly bored and horribly tired. He would read and go over notes, but those activities quickly became just as boring as doing nothing. The only thing that would stave off his boredom was to look at the words that would sometimes cover one of his limbs. And on the days where there was nothing, he would absentmindedly draw small doodles on the empty space.

When he first started doing it, he worried that his soulmate would find the cartoon-ish cats to be too childish, or his drawing abilities to be less than sub-par. But, after a while, he grew bored with that, too.

...

It was Sunday. [Name] had two assignments due for English on Monday, neither of which she’d started, and a math assignment she was absolutely clueless about. She’d asked her friends, who were just as stumped as her, and Google didn’t even seem to have the answers, either. [Name] stared down at the math problems in front of her, mind split between figuring out the equations and working on the two English papers. Why had she thought spending Saturday with her friends, getting some extra practice in with their Quirks, would be a good idea?

In a moment of desperation, [Name] glanced at her wrist and the lack of anything drawn by her soulmate. It had been some time since she’d seen anything drawn by them, and she had to admit that she missed seeing the cute cat doodles. It was rare for her to think about her soulmate, writing notes or reminders on her skin without so much as a second thought towards the other person who could read them.

She bit her lip and picked up her pen, hesitantly drawing the first equation into her skin. Underneath it she wrote “help?” and then capped her pen, set it down on the desk, and waited.

...

Shinsou had never tried to communicate with his soulmate through the drawings. He knew people who had, people who had written down their location or phone number and met their soulmates that way. If Shinsou wasn’t being honest, he’d say that it was too much work and he wasn’t interested in the whole “soulmate” thing, anyways. If Shinsou was being honest, though, he’d say that he was worried about what he’d find. What if his soulmate thought he was ugly? What if they hated him and his Quirk? What if they were scared of him? They seemed like such a ditzy, cute person, always writing reminders on their skin, no matter how simple. How could he compare to that? To them, he was just the person who would draw a cat sometimes, and even that was rare.

And besides, they had never tried to contact him, either.

Which was why it was such a surprise when Shinsou saw the equation suddenly appear and the word 'help?' written beneath it. He’d been drying off from his shower, just having gotten back from training, when he noticed it. He stared at the numbers and letters and blinked. The equation looked familiar- they had just gone over it in class on Friday.

He could help his soulmate with a math problem.

Shinsou quickly finished drying off and got dressed, sitting at his desk and quickly picking up a pen. He wrote the word 'okay' beneath their request for help and waited a minute before getting to work.

...

The moment his response appeared beneath her cry for help, [Name] felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She waited with bated breaths as the process to solve the equation slowly appeared. [Name] copied it down, stroke for stroke, in her notebook. It took a second for her to realize she’d been holding her breath.

Within two minutes the answer was there, peering up at her from her wrist. The steps to getting it had been neatly recorded and transferred to the assignment sheet, and [Name] let out a long sigh of relief. 'thank you.' She wrote, adding a smiley face for good measure.

Content with that small bit of contact, [Name] turned back to her papers. She had just started attempting the next problem when the familiar sensation of lines appearing in her skin brought her back to look at her wrist. Written in the space where the palm meets the wrist were new words: 'do u need help w/ more?'

[Name] sucked in a breath, her heart racing against her ribs. Trembling more than she’d like to admit, [Name] wrote a short 'if it’s not too much trouble' beneath the question.

...

Shinsou couldn’t keep the stupid grin off his face. As soon as he realized it, though, he forced it away and replaced it with a neutral expression, though his eyes still glimmered. Talking to his soulmate made his heart beat quicker than usual; he told himself he wasn’t sure why, since he hadn’t given them much thought, but a voice in the back of his head whispered "you know why."

Hesitating for just a moment longer, Shinsou began to write down his phone number. Once the numbers were written, he grimaced. Had this really been a good idea? He thought back to the number of people who had done the same thing he had, though for different reasons. They all seemed happy enough, but was he ready to talk to his soulmate like they did?

Shaking his head, Shinsou assured himself that he wasn’t trying to connect with them. All he was doing was trying to help someone with their math homework. That was it.

Three minutes passed before his phone buzzed.

#a3-mha #shinsou hitoshi #reader insert #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou x y/n #shinsou hitoshi x y/n #fluff #soulmate au #one shot #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha

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bubupop · 2 years

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random little things you’ve given them that make them a little too happy.

i, once again, im guilty of writing at unholy hours,,,,

It was random as fuck, still, he cherished the cute little rock you had painted and left on his desk as a ‘lucky charm’ and a paperweight. He dared not to move it since you plopped it there, even pushing stuff away for the comfort of the rock. He also likes staring at it, the art in it is wobbly and, if he’s honest with himself, a little ugly. Yet he still adores it to pieces. It reminded him of you, and he would sometimes rub the rock like a pet when he was thinking or cooling down after getting mad and, surprisingly, it did clear his mind and gave him a little luck. Great job, MC, you’ve made Lucifer as weird as you!

The corpse of an already eaten candy ring. The Mammon, the Avatar of Greed himself kept it in his desk and would fidget with it randomly through the day. He had walked on you eating it and you offered it to him, he called you disgusting and you shrugged. However, his eyes never left the candy in your hands so you stopped licking it, grabbed his hand into yours and asked him to marry you. He may or may not have combust then and there. Was it still gross? Yeah. Did he refuse to give the ring back? Also yeah. So you bit the candy and left him with the corpse, he whined but went to wash the leftover stickiness out of the ring and now feels all giddy when he looks at it.

Stickers on his bedroom door. You spend a good chunk of your time with him in his room, so it wasn’t weird that, eventually, you left signs of you being there often. Some clothes, random sketchbooks, cds and dvds among other stuff that Levi deems is owned between you both. Yet out of all of those things, he must admit the stickers are his favorite, they were of a couple of cute animals (sanrio style) holding hands and when you planted them there you had giggled as you said “it’s us.” When he is in low spirits he just looks at the stickers for strength and it works like charm.

A ridiculously cute notebook. It has a cute kitten with a pink bow and glitter as the cover and it even has a page full of stickers. It was rather hilarious to see the Wrath incarnate walking around RAD with such a cute notebook in hand. Not even an ounce of shame in his demeanor. You had heard he needed a new notebook and you couldn’t help yourself, it was half sincere and half as a joke but seeing him actually using it made you beam. Satan cherishes said notebook dearly, being aware that it was a joke he still went on to use it as, you know, a way to assert dominance but he became quite fond of the kitten in the cover. Whenever there is a dull moment in class he’d just stare at it and smile. Thank you, MC.

A cute plastic hairpin. Asmo was on cooking duty and you walked in the kitchen that day, like a fool, and he refused to let you go and whined for company. You, being an enabler to his baby behavior, agreed. He was gushing on a new bunch of cosmetics he was going to receive soon to review as he moved the food around in the pan to prevent burning, but his hair decided to be annoying that day and as he kept blowing it out of his face you took pity on him and used your pin to keep his bangs away of his eye. He did complain that you were ruining his hair but almost cried when you tried to take the pin again. Needless to say you never got your pin back.

A wrinkly sheet with a doodle on it. During a boring study session you began doodling random stuff on your notebook but you erased a little too hard and wrinkled the paper. You almost cried. It took you a lot of time to draw that circle, too, and you wanted to give it to Beel but it was ruined now. He patted your back and as you confessed your plans he smiled and took the draw. MC, he would gladly drink poison if it was from your hands. He adores and keeps every little thing you give him. Notes in class, sticky notes with doodles, pens, you name it.

As always, you never learn your lesson and you let Belphie borrow some of your erasers. They were the cute type, too! Shaped as tiny hearts and flowers. He chuckled and teased you when he saw them and you threatened to take them so he snatched it right out of your hand. Ok, rude. And that was the last time you saw them. If you ask for them back he’d say he lost them but they’re on his nightstand. He messes with them sometimes, rolling them around and poking them. They remind him of you and he actually likes them quite a lot.

it is always the little things.

#Obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me headcanons #obey me beel #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #obey me asmo

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dreaming-of-lu · 8 months

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Yes, you should 1000% talk about your Linksona! I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT THEM!

AHHHH OKAY, SO, I don't have a lot of drawings of them yet but I do have a doodle of them. Even tho i am not currently pleased with the drawing , I'm still experimenting with them, this is what I currently got goin' for them.

This is Signal, Hero of Technomancy.

He/They

Age: 21

I decided I wanted a Hyrule set far into the future so cyberpunk came into mind. Link/Signal grew up in a solarpunk village far away from Hyrule's Castle which is now located in a huge grown city. Signal had an incident when he was 11 where their face got scarred, lost their arm and leg that is now replaced with a prosthetic. Due to them going through that, he became mute and wore a mask to cover their face, only communicating through sign language.

Signal is a certified plant dad, he got a pretty cottage home with a sun room. Plants are everywhere and he takes such good care of them. He even has pretty tattoos, plants and fairy based, he's a lovable dork over them. They have a guilty pleasure or rather favorite of wearing ugly cardigans, got a wardrobe filled with them.

This is brief info about him, but I be happy to answer anymore questions people have about them!

#.bea answers #.bea's linksona

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chiliger · 6 months

Note

How do you art so often it’s scary tbh. Are you just secretly a printer or something?!?

Teach me your secrets

Tbh I just became obsessed (in this case with the clones) and am constantly full of ideas that are fighting to get out on paper/tablet.

Just draw. Draw ugly. Do it on post-it notes or a junk sketchbook. Draw doodles with a pen or pencil but don’t erase anything. You’ll be amazed at how it eventually translates to better line art confidence and in turn faster drawing.

I used to painstakingly stick to a single drawing until it met my “standards” and it did not do me any favors in the long run. I’m still guilty of this habit, sometimes, but it’s much better than when I used to go weeks without even a single doodle.

#chili rambles #ask #anonymous #which reminds me I gotta do more figure drawings

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stupidstrawberrystars · 5 months

Text

Funny, it’s like 1am and about 30 minutes ago I was listening to this song. And it just hit me that it’s SO Wolfstar coded!

So i wrote a thing :) I took a lot of the lines in the song, in order, and wrote this fic about Remus reminiscing over his time with Sirius now he knows he’s not the traitor.

I have no idea if the song is obvious, I tried to make it not? Or maybe this is pretty hard and i’m just tired?

Anyway I challenge you to see if you can figure out what the song is before you get to the end.

Reminiscing hurts Remus sometimes. Thinking back, he always just seems to run out of energy. He ran out of energy to fight the wolf his whole life. He even ran out of energy to fight for Sirius.

He should’ve known.

Back in fifth year, in Remus’ dumb vintage tee that looked so much better on Sirius than him, and high heels stolen from Marlene, balanced precariously on the Hogwarts paths ugly cobblestone, Sirius said that Lily gave him the courage to wear what he wanted.

He said he really hoped Lily would marry James. He wanted her as a sister in law.

Remus didn’t know much then. But he knew Sirius.

And when Sirius wore a ridiculous fake smile to a “family” event of murders in sequins, and then snuck out to smother on black lipstick and run to a muggle concert, Remus knew he’d leave that life soon.

And the first night he agreed to meet Remus in muggle London, summer of fifth year, Sirius pulled Remus out under a streetlight, already drunk. He danced in his new Levi’s and pulled Remus closer with a hand from under his sweater, hellbent on kissing all his problems away.

That year wasn’t easy. He watched as his friends decided what they’d do after Hogwarts, knowing he could never have that many options. James brought up some war. That was the first time Remus ever heard of it.

And when he felt useless, like old clothes rotting away under a breaking bed, Sirius always lifted him back up.

But then it all broke. The first time things shifted between them.

Because it was then that Snape found out. And Sirius broke it all for the first time. Sirius tried to get Remus back. But he got so caught up chasing others who were mad at his actions he fell through when it came to the person who meant the most to him.

And in a heart wrenching way, it’s funny really. How they all just assumed Remus didn’t know what this meant. They never truly accepted him. But he knew that now. And he’s be proved right years later when they’re all sure he’s the traitor.

And yet Sirius and Remus made up. Played hide and seek with a magic map and crazy cloak over holidays. The moon trapped Remus at Hogwarts and Sirius couldn’t go home. So they spent their wasted time together.

They went out again for the first time after that. And Sirius promised he’d always give every weekend of his life to spend Remus if he’d just believe that Sirius will never get bored or tired or fed up with him.

But Remus will never forget the small moments. The rush of knowing that at least once in these lifetimes, Sirius would pick him. Even if it’d hurt.

No matter how many times he felt old or useless, Sirius somehow loved it all. Always said Remus was his favourite.

And no matter how many times Sirius dragged Remus on motorbike rides to downtown bars, he was always Remus’ favourite as well.

Back in second year, when Sirius got bored, Remus let him doodled on his arm with a muggle pen he brought from home. It slowly became habit.

And quickly, after every full moon, it became a trend. Sirius would draw beautiful stars all around Remus’s newer scars. Once they were healed of course. Sirius said the stars were proof that he was always there.

When Sirius begun to suspect Remus was the mole, it all came crashing down.

Remus waited for Sirius to leave. He never did. He stayed, as if waiting for a knife to be driven into his back.

As if he could never voluntarily leave Remus.

He drew stars just a few days before it all. Before they died.

Remus ripped his face apart that moon. Bleeding.

Sirius didn’t see it until twelve years later.

And now he’s here, he’s home.

He’s doodling on the scars again but Remus won’t let Sirius near that one. Remus deserves that one. For ever believing Sirius would be the reason for James and Lily’s murder.

But Remus knows despite it all, Sirius wants so bad to just trace that scar. To truly know him again.

In the end, they don’t get time for that. But Remus doesn’t know that yet.

And last years Remus would be shocked he even successfully got on that train to Hogwarts that was scarred with bloodstains. Despite always knowing in his heart it wasn’t over, he wasn’t ready for it.

In another universe, maybe he could’ve changed the ending.

It’s funny how Dumbledore thought he knew nothing.

But Remus knew what mattered.

Because Sirius lingered in all the spaces he used to be like a permanent tattoo he cannot erase.

He stayed in every dream, every broken and screaming and begging version of what if.

He smelt Sirius in every cigarette. That’s actually why he quit.

Because honestly? Remus knew it all when he was young.

He knew Sirius would devastate him. He knew he’d curse him until he ran out of energy. He knew every shadow caught in the corner of Remus’ eye would always be Sirius.

He knew he’d see him again. Remus somehow always knows when the last moment is the last moment.

Sirius felt like someone who’d sort of always come back. As he has now.

And no matter how long he’s gone, Sirius always manages to take Remus’ battered and broken flaws and call him worthy.

Like an old cardigan left under somebody’s bed, finally put on and called a favourite.

(Okay if you don’t know the song by now i’m ashamed with you. Also if I wake up in the morning, read this and realise it makes no sense, I apologise for my writing failures)

#marauders era #dead gay wizards #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #sirius x remus #song fic

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jttwaudiodrama · 8 months

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Zhuang's JttW Doodles #1

The chase for fame and wealth will never cease, Rising early and retiring late, a life never freed. Body on a mule, mind on a noble steed. Now a minister, wishing to be a royal breed. They suffer fatigue and stress, for mere clothing and food. Never fearing that the kings of the underworld will have them hooked. Seeking for their descendants, riches and fortunes. Not one, not a single one, willing to turn back and look.

Journey to the West, Chapter 1

This poem appears in Chapter 1, Part 2 of the audio drama.

Also featured on our Patreon page.

===

Hi, this is Zhuang. I made all the art for this series.

In the future, I will be posting doodles I made almost 10 years ago when I could kind of draw but not really. Not sure if I'm entirely out of that state now but hopefully I have improved.

Each one corresponds to a specific passage in the original text, as written on the doodle itself in traditional Chinese. And I will also put the English translation from the audio drama down below for your reference. Not every chapter has a doodle, so I will post the ones we've already covered in the drama, and the rest as we eventually get there.

===

Why I chose this scene:

This poem to me has always been one of the most underrated parts of JttW and Wu Kong's character development. Very few adaptations chose to depict his earliest encounters with human society and even fewer chose to show how disappointed he became in the end (I can only remember one). Instead, many portrayed Wu Kong as ignorant about the human world to the point of looking almost stupid. But that is very much contrary to what the novel tells us.

Of course he was initially curious and dazzled, but he also spent almost a decade just moving through human society and watching all that went on around him. The sentiments expressed in this poem is certainly not from someone who is still naive. It sounds calm, almost solemn. And this is Wu Kong BEFORE he found the Way and all the brilliance of immortality. Even before he found the truth, he had figured out what was certainly not the truth. He was very clear about what he did not want in life.

And this is a fact many forget to bring along as they interpret Wu Kong's subsequent adventures. Wu Kong was seen as unruly and disobedient by those who made the rules. But Wu Kong didn't do what he did because he was ignorant or wild or mean. Wu Kong did what he did KNOWING what the rules were but simply chose not to play by them. He knew exactly how the world functions and what was expected of him, but he simply refused to play the game. If anything, his immense powers gave him more autonomy to hold on to his childish innocence, to declare to those in power, "I insist on experiencing this world in my unique, monkey way."

It is natural for someone who has no knowledge of the world to remain innocent and pure. But it takes active courage to hold on to that innocence AFTER learning all that was ugly and rotten about the world. If anything, his deep disappointment in the world only made everything he did against it more valuable and brave.

Wu Kong knew more about the world than he would have liked and STILL chose to remain innocent and pure. That is not something Pu Ti or any other powerful god taught him. That is something he found out and kept in his heart by pure will. This is why I personally resent any portrayal of Wu Kong as some out-of-control ape or a one-dimensional silly monkey. He is much more than that.

#journey to the west #sun wu kong #sun wukong #monkey king #chinese literature #the fifth monkey #xi you ji

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chiocchi · 1 year

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Chiocchi!

Big fan of your artistry. I love your art so much! And those graphic novels you have on ao3??? Heaven sent! I use them as an imagery reference if I read any similar trope haha!

I asked the same question to leafiloaf since I love them too, but I'll be very interested to know your artistic journey if you don't mind sharing. How did you start with your art?

Tysm for being in this fandom ❤️

youknowmevj! omg thank you so much! You're too kind 😭🥺❤️❤️❤️ And yess lots of love to leafiloaf

Thanks for the ask! I've never told anyone about it and I'm so excited I'll give you so much unnecessary context. Oops long post.

My artistic journey

I've enjoyed drawing since I was little, but mostly I just drew doodles in my notebook. Anime was a big inspiration for my style and I wanted to create digital illustrations too. When I was a teenager, I tried using a mouse and a PC, and my finger and some app on my phone, but the results were always terrible. I told myself it was because I didn't have a drawing tablet, so "of course my drawings will look ugly" and stopped trying.

However, I promised a discord friend that I would do a drawing for her in December 2020. So, I downloaded this app called "Ibis Paint" on my phone and, with all my effort despite my lack of ability, I drew Harry using the app and my finger jskldhfsa

I was so hesitant and nervous about showing it to her. I could tell it wasn't pretty, just "weird and awkward", and I felt embarrassed. But she told me it was good (LIES) and somehow convinced me to share it with others on the server. Despite feeling shy, I shared it anyway. To my surprise, three people told me it was pretty! I appreciated their kindness.

It wasn't until March 2021 that I returned to drawing digitally and on a more consistent basis. I was mainly doing fanart for a game that I liked.

In May or June (I can't remember exactly), I stumbled upon an artist who created incredible art using Ibis Paint. And I realized that I didn't need a drawing tablet, just more practice and skill, because if they could do it, then I could do it too! That was the moment I began taking art more seriously (still as a hobby, though!).

Due to the pandemic, I had a lot of free time, which I used to watch a lot of tutorials, practice gesture and follow the advice of artists I liked. With every drawing I made, I could see an improvement, which motivated me even more to keep on working hard (drawing became a source of comfort during those depressing times. It was just really fun).

In late 2021, I mentioned to a childhood friend that I wanted to buy a drawing tablet, and he asked me if I wanted his old one, which I excitedly accepted. Finally, I had the tool that would make my art incredible… or so I thought! I was terrible with it. For the first few months, I preferred Ibis paint and my finger. But I eventually got the hang of it! What I love the most are the multiple brushes and pressure settings. I'm such a hoarder, even if I don't use all of them ksklajdl.

In 2022, I participated in several bigbangs and zines, but what I'm most excited to talk about is the tomarry comic that I started.

My tomarrymort art

I've read tomarrymort fics since 2017, but I wasn't active on the fandom. In 2020, I joined a writer's server (all love to Amanda) and met the friend I mentioned earlier. So technically, you could say my love for tomarrymort lead me here kek

Even though my main inspiration was a game, here is some fic fanart I made.

This is my first tomarry art (July 27th, 2021). It's a scene from Genius by the Numbers. I think it looks weird kjdshk

I also made art for A Mating of Convenience, what started in beautiful rooms, Dripping Fingers and for Ale, beloved. (I think I've never posted these before.)

Then two things happened: I saw comic on ao3 (If I'll Ever See You by festivewind) and I was like "WOW! THAT'S SO COOL" and "omg we can upload comics!"

The second thing was me being rejected as a webtoon background artist (naturally, as I wasn't good enough for the specifics) and the spite made me want to do my own so I could improve my weakness (the grind never stops 💪🔥).

I read some of my old notes for story ideas (I'm not good at writing but I still had some snippets of stories). And boom! Love triangle but the 3 of them are idiots (affectionate). Fun fact: the original version had a murder, someone in Azkaban and someone hating the other forever :D

Don't pretend started as an anonymous work because some of my friends knew my AO3 username and I was afraid of screwing up the format (I don't know html) and looking like a fool DKJALKSJL I was also afraid of possible backlash (I'm an over-thinker).

None of that happened (comments were very kind and nice!) But idk, it was nice being anon. I'm awkward and shy and I usually don't know what to say to compliments (Sometimes a "thank you" doesn't feel enough but that's all my brain can offer 😭)

Then I made some tomarry christmas art and shared it on TRoR discord server and someone asked me if I had Tumblr and I said no but that gave me the idea of making one.

Since I planned Don't pretend as being a long story, I realized it'd take me a long time to finish it and I wanted to contribute to the complete tomarrymort works! That's the reason I took a pause and made A Soulmate Like You.

Anyway, I made this tumblr on January 2023, and the plan was to fill it with art so, eventually, when I found the courage to make my works non-anon, I could link to this page. Except that I posted one drawing, and that was enough for isalisewrites to know it was me HJKASDJLA. So I stopped the anonymous thing.

I'm still not used to being "perceived" 👁️👁️ but I've learned it's not bad. People have been really kind and I think I'm less shy now! I'm very happy to be part of this fandom with lots of kind and supportive people and incredible fics and fanart <3

#my art #art journey #art summary #asks #💕#youknowmevj #personal

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narbevoguel · 4 months

Text

Hello guys. It's been a while since I made a post like this, but today I wanted to talk about my art. I haven't posted something proper in forever, and to say I haven't spent this entire time at least doodling a thing or two would be a lie, but there's a reason why I haven't been posting much and just keeping my art semi private, or multiple, let me explain (I'll have a TLDR at the end if you don't wanna bother with this, but written awfully):

First, I believe you guys deserve more than some stupid sketches. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sketching, aesthetic aside, drawing multiple sketches a day is how I pushed myself to experiment new things and just get better overall, plus I draw them fast, so I could pull a bunch of sketches in the time it takes me to color just one, so I could spill one silly idea after the other. I don't know why or exactly when I started to feel like this is just not worth it for you guys, that you deserve more from me than what I put out, that maybe I disappoint you immensely. This isn't even about reach, I don't care about that, this is about me showing something worth to see.

Second, is how I chose to spend my time. Last year was a very busy year for me overall, my job became increasingly demanding at times, lotsa personal issues that stressed me out immensely, which resulted in me using my remaining free time doing other activities, including spending time with people I shouldn't have been so permissive with (except my gang, that's why I made it a New Year's Resolution to annoy you guys more, you know who you are), it became a thing where I was even afraid to say no to them in favor of my art or other me-activities in fear of them taking it the wrong way, which, in a weird way, ended up happening anyway and resulted in long term passive aggressive conflict, and well, all of this negativity and then some, especially combined, made me reluctant to pick my pen up most of the time, which leads me to my next point.

Third, not drawing as often made me lose my momentum considerably. I could draw stuff comfortably without much artblock, if at all, or something I thought looked ugly. It just came out naturally, sometimes without even using references, it was crazy, but I feel I lost that momentum; don't get me wrong, I don't think my art looks worse than before, far from it, I did a comparison a couple of days ago and I noticed that despite all these issues, I have indeed improved a lot, thing is, I still feel it doesn't look good, I can't seem to know where I want to go with it, or what I want it to look like, I have no idea how to describe this feeling of "I hate immensely what I've been doing", maybe I'm beating myself up too hard and this is a result of not sharing anything with you guys, but I want to be comfortable with the characters I always draw before I bring them out again (although for some reason Purah's perfection always makes my doodling easier, she has become my ultimate comfort character it seems, hah).

All that said, I want to change things this time. I'm not sure if I'll post more like I did before, or if I'll post less than I used to, but I want to post things again. Maybe won't start soon, but will definitely do it. I've even been stocking up on traditional materials to pick the pen back up in other ways as well (haven't done this since my college days, so I'm a bit excited), I don't want to make promises I can't keep (you guys know I'm terrible with keeping up with stuff lol), but I will try my hardest to post more finished pictures and less sketches. It might result in me posting less art and/or jokes as before, but we'll see where that leads me. I'm still not sure if I'll continue to keep the sketches to myself or not, but one step at a time, step one is to just stop beating myself up, turns out my negativity knows how to throw hands. If you read ALL to this point, my most sincere thanks, I know it isn't easy to put up with my crap, and if you didn't it's fine, I still love you, in fact, I'll sum it up for you below.

TLDR: I'm a stupid piece of crap that didn't know how to manage my free time which resulted in me developing a very serious case of imposter syndrome and I'm throwing hands back in hopes, no, in expectancy of walking out of it a victor, for my sake, and for you guys as well.

Anyway, thanks for reading, short or long version, and remember, a Purah a day, keeps uh, the heart happy and brain mushy, or something like that.

#long rant #random ramble #I don't know why I wanted to say all of this #I just did #I couldn't contain it #It's like word vomit #It just came out like bluaghgahgaghahg #I'm sorry guys #I love Purah

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626bxtch · 1 year

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Stitch Jookiba is based on Stitch from Lilo & Stitch. He is a 23 year old alien, record shop employee, and uses he/him pronouns. He has the power of night vision, bullet proof, fire proof, enhanced sight, enhanced hearing, shock resistance, shifting, super intelligence and super strength. Stitch is portrayed by Evan Mock.

stitch was created in a lab by a mad genius that created him for the sake of destruction. talk about daddy issues, right? in all seriousness, stitch spent a small part of his existence fueling the narrative that he was nothing but bad and that bad was the best form of good because it was all he knew. he broke out of an alien prison hours after being made, stole a ship, and crash landed in hawaii.

the form he was in when he crashed was not something that any human can comprehend. being in a confusing new place looking like the alien he was made things hard at first, but eventually he was able to manipulate the situation and convince a not-so-typical girl that he was a pet. it was the perfect scapegoat for when his creator jumba came to take him back, since he couldn’t do a damn thing about it if he was hiding behind the humans. the plan was simple; fake it till he made it and cause as much destruction as he could in the process.

he does not exaggerate when he says meeting lilo changed everything. she looked right into his soul, chewed and spit him out, and made him a better version of himself. she may have started out as a way to get away with whatever he wanted, but at the end of it all she became his family. his true family. she taught him english, right from wrong, and he just couldn’t even imagine what his life would be without her. he would kill for his ohana. he would die for his ohana. they are the most important people to him in the entire galaxy. showing them his more honest form was hard, but they accepted him, quirks and all.

now that stitch is in evermore he feels like he has to try ten times harder to be good. his urges get stronger when he hangs around awful people but at the same time he is drawn to awful people. it’s confusing and hard to grasp, but stitch is doing his best.

he meditates when he finds himself getting really out of sorts. meditation took a long time for him to get used to but now that he has made it routine almost he loves it.

lilo showed him that he really liked music. elvis was number one, obviously, but he was also a bit of an emo boy at times. he tries not to limit his musical horizons but he likes things loud. getting a job at a record shop was something he never imagined himself doing, but he really likes it. he also can play guitar but he really only does that for lilo.

he really liked skateboarding. it’s chaotic, there’s a lot to do, and it makes him happy. sure, he has used his trusty skateboard as a means to escape tricky situations more than once, but it’s a part of him now.

he really just likes to do things that make him feel human. he doesn’t hate himself, he just likes to keep a respectful distance from his alien-like urges. he just wants to be good and do good and he feels the more human things he does, the closer he gets to it.

he is not a fan of water, but he’s working on it. lilo taught him how to surf and that can be a lot of fun, but it is also a little terrifying at times. his body doesn’t react very well to water. despite all that he does miss the ocean now that it isn’t around him all the time.

baja blast is his favorite drink. he practically bleeds baja blast.

he actually likes art a lot. he likes to paint (spray paint buildings) and sketch (draw ugly doodles) .

all in all he is a punk, but he is doing his best to not ALWAYS be a punk.

#👽 it isn't in my blood || hcs.

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purpamint · 2 years

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A lot of people seemed to like the Kris doodles, so I decided to draw an au with all three humans as siblings! :]

I have a lot of headcanons for these three since I thought a lot about them while drawing, but I'll try to keep those under the read more so you don't have to read them unless you have the time to hear my silly little rambles, haha. (this AU takes place in the deltarune timeline btw, just for reference, so yall know asriel is in college and they are in hometown)

Kris's normal clothing style is definitely the most grunge + indie style in the fam, however, on school days they normally wear hand-me-downs from Toriel and Asriel. They get fancy button-up shirts and comfy skirts from toriel, and jackets, sweaters and corduroy pants from asriel. On on school days they wear those formal clothes, but they are happy to wear brightly colored t-shirts after school and on weekends (I can relate, many years of going to a school with uniformed sucked lol, so after school I'd change into an ugly but comfortable outfit). They're also a junior in high school now which is probably 2ish years after the deltarune story takes place. Their favorite things are video-games, diy or homemade stuff, spooky movies, and pranks.

Chara is next, they're about 14 and going into high school very soon. They mostly wear hand-me-downs as well, but from asgore instead of Toriel or Asriel. And unlike Kris who usually changes after school, they don't mind Asgore's old clothes, and appreciate the practicality. They really like to garden, which is a trait they get from their dad, so they often stick around and help Asgore out with his flower shop. Despite Kris already being fairly introverted, Chara is somehow even more introverted than Kris, so they get a bit grumpy when people bug them... however if someone gives them the chance to talk about gardening and books they will sometimes open up and ramble on about it for hours. They always carry a small shovel and wear hiking boots because they think it's convenient... their favorite things are flowers, toriel's cooking, knitting, and reading.

Frisk is the youngest, at about 11, and since Kris and Chara have already taken most of the hand-me-downs, Frisk is able to pick out anything they want! Their favorite colors are blue, purple, and pink and they wear those colors 24/7. Despite still being a teensy bit shy, they all the most social out of the humans, and they have lots of friends in town and much like their eldest sibling, Asriel, they have become very popular. They are very silly and like to tell lots of jokes which makes lots of people smile. They usually are pretty relaxed, but when they are feeling down they listen to calming music. Their favorite things are drawing, calm music, hugs, silly jokes, and adventure.

Wow this became a lot longer than intended but I hope you guys enjoy my little rambles, I had a lot of fun drawing this and just as much fun writing about it, too. I'll try to post some owl house art later this week since the season is ending soon, but until then, have a nice day ^.^

#headcanon #kris deltarune #deltarune #deltarune fanart #fanart #chara undertale #frisk fanart #kris dreemurr #chara dremuur #art #undertale fanart #frisk undertale #undertale art

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maygic · 1 year

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how many years have I been writing?

I started my anime otaku sideblog 8-9 years ago. this main blog, on the other hand, has been running since 2008. there’s a long history to these two blogs, and I've been proudly running it since I was a teenager until now.

even if I was treating my blogs as if I was talking to someone, a group of people, I didn’t actively seek for audience back then. I still don’t–on Tumblr, at least. I was happy enough to receive a single note; I was happy enough to receive the only message on my inbox saying that they liked my writing. it was 2011-2012; I was younger, unsure of what the world outside had to offer—but, in a way, I had some more resilience as to how others perceived me.

I don’t have it—or I don’t have enough of it, today.

I used to be active on this blog. when the great Tumblr purge occurred, I had to switch back to Twitter, among many others, but the transition was rather smooth because it occurred the same time I started losing interest with the two fandoms that started it all. my first Twitter account is as old as my main blog, which I run for a different purpose: if Twitter is the mask I put in front of my friends, then Tumblr is where I come clean. it’s a diary I leave out in the open.

I repurposed an old private Twitter account for fangirling. for the first few years, I followed a few people, but I mainly talked to myself the way I do with Tumblr. I have mutuals, but even then, I rarely interact with them unless necessary. I’m happy in my own space, drawing bad doodles of my ships and sharing my headcanon to an empty wall, with no one replying.

up until a few years ago, this is what I used to be: I wasn’t afraid to be a bad writer, I just wanted to write.

moving platform to Twitter is where things began to go downhill. it’s a disease that I think almost everyone on social media can relate to: you start to feel like you’re never satisfied with yourself, and especially, the things you create.

back in 2018, I posted my first fic. it was a multi-chaptered fic, and although it was far from perfect, it was my pride and joy. it garnered a small following, and I was content with what I received.

but as I moved to Twitter and began to posting my AUs and promoting my fics in the platform, I started to feel that my writing is not good enough. I started to compare myself with others—I feel jealous of those who speak English as their first language, not having to constantly check the dictionary because you know what words to use. I feel even more jealous—and ashamed—with fellow ESLs because they can write fics in English so well despite it not being their mother tongue. I feel jealous of fellow writers in my native language who managed to get a thousand likes for their AU on Twitter so effortlessly because I struggled getting 500. I feel jealous with how hardworking people can be to write good stories and with how readers flocked in, excited to read their works.

I feel upset whenever I check in to my AO3 account to find only a few people left comments and kudos instead of being content with what I’ve received. ugly thoughts began to seep into my mind: are people not excited to read my works? do they read them but find them not good enough to comment on? do people just see the link to my fics with pretty headers I made in Canva, and think that it’s not worth their time? in a span of a few months writing for this fandom, I grew very self-conscious, and I tried to brush it off until it became too noticeable and I could no longer lie with myself.

and that’s when I accepted the truth: I’ve since stopped writing for fun and began writing to please. even if I love the source material that I’m writing, I still ended up hurting because I tried to write something that people like and I beat myself up when it turned out not to be the case. I’ve tried talking to friends, stepping back from writing, from the community, from the source material that led into all of this—and it still wasn’t enough. I go on circles of self-loathing and self-pity (hell, even this whole post is so self-absorbed, in a way) and an impostor syndrome–something I never thought I would ever have.

in the end, the one hobby I loved, the one that saved me multiple times, turned into something that I should avoid to save myself.

when 13 year old me signed up to this account, all she wanted to do was find cute layouts for her blog and write about funny occurrences in her life. today me is just so desperate for readers.

and that’s not even the worst outcome, because I ended up unable to stomach fics from the same tag. I couldn’t read fics that other writers worked so hard to write because their fics are good and are more praised than mine. I compare my works to everyone, even mutuals, and I read too much into things when I see the same user who left a short comment on my fics left a longer, comprehensive comment to others’, thinking they don’t like my fics enough. my insecurities became apparent, and it made me an awful person.

hell, I even went back and forth reediting this post because I feel like it’s not good enough.

now what is my point in writing all of this, you ask? all I’m saying is that, as I enter this year, I just want to heal. I’m well aware that it’s not anybody’s fault that I don’t write as good as the others. it’s not anybody’s fault that people have preferences and they don’t like my works enough like they do with other writers. it’s all on me.

I don’t regret everything that happened, though, because writing and content creating has taken me places, once upon a time. it brought me friends that I hold dear, and it still saved me, in a way. it’s the one hobby that shaped my youth a lot. I’m proud of my progress and everything I’ve written—finished or not.

but lately I realized: I need a break.

I need to put down my pen and leave it for a while. parting ways with something you love, no matter how short, is not going to be easy. but it’s necessary, or so I’d like to think, until I can make peace with myself. but I promised myself that this is not indefinite, that one day I’ll return with stories to tell.

if anyone is reading this, I hope no one will have to go through the ordeal I’m going through. and I hope you find happiness—even in the bleakest of days.

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