#ugly purple grape man | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hitoshisbabygirl · 3 years

Text

Authors Notes ♡: WHEW I LOVED THIS I had a time trying to come up with an idea and then it hit me : a princess being saved by fantasy au! Dabi. I’m still nervous with my smuts but heh I enjoyed this a whole bunch to write . Dabi is my favorite villain and I just love him so much, I tried to make him a soft inside and hard outside man in this , I Had fun for our free for all collab and I hope I help give it just a fun twist to fantasy and Halloween spirit ~ I hope you enjoy reading this and much as I did writing it ~ bunny ❥

Warnings :UH NSFW! Demon dabi has two dick (and their thick) , pet names, unprotected sex , a tad bit of a size kink? , a bit fluffy at the end but I think that’s it!

Word count : about 2k give or take!

Paring(s) :Dabi x F! Reader

Even with this being NSFW I had to make it a soft fluffy ending I’m sorry ♡

———————————————————————

Enchanted flames

Dabi

“If you have found this letter the Princess of Yuei needs your help. Meet me in the Enchanted Woods tomorrow night. Ill escape with you if you can save me from the proposed wedding - Princess [ ]”

With a sigh [. ] dropped the letter out of her window hoping someone, anyone , could save her from the doom that awaited her from an arranged marriage that had been planned from her kingdom to be to the neighboring ones prince, a smaller and very...purple hot headed boy by the name of Mineta who was unsavory for a lack of words. Sighing as she watched the paper fall she secretly wished her type of prince would come save her from this hell she expected.

As the night approached she slipped past her guards, telling them she was going out for air in her garden. The two towering men who looked down at her agreed, moving at the way to let the young woman past them and out into the halls, her dress dragging behind her as she headed out the giant doors to her garden. Taking in a breath she climbed over the perfectly managed hedges andddd off into the forest adjacent to the castle, roaming through the woods to her chosen spot to hopefully meet someone who could save her.

“Hello there little sheep, you called for help, correct?” A low, raspy voice called out as [ ] turned around , looking into the dark abyss in front of her. “ Hello? Helloooo? Who's there?” the girl called out as she heard something heavy land behind her. Turning to her right she saw bright blue eyes look back at her from the shadows. Before she could react a rather warm hand covered her mouth as the person or thing dragged her throughout the woods , the two of them slipping into the night. As soon as [ ] woke up her eyes adjusted to a dark but brightly lit and beautiful chasm, cyan and turquoise crystals of all types surrounded the room as she felt intense heat from everywhere around her. Standing up on shaky legs she felt eyes on her from behind. Letting out a deep breath she turned only to run into a barely covered chest.

Looking up from the revealed purple and pale skin , she saw those same blue eyes , lit with curiosity. “Ah you're awake..welcome little sheep to my...well..living quarters” The mystery man spoke as [ ] blinked at him, a grin spreading over his face as he continued to speak “Well i guess the princess doesnt know she isn't in her little castle anymore. Haven't those guards of yours realized they can't leave royalty alone or guys like me come along and take them out of their cute little homes” He said as [ ] gave him a suspicious look , her own thoughts taking over her face as a sense of calm rested over her features “Ohhh so you're the one who found my note..” She said as he gave her an unreadable look , soon walking away to leave the girl in her own world. “I guess he did” she thought to herself as she heard the male come back, a pile of things in his hands. “Here; a change of clothes and something to eat. I tried to be gentle taking you out of those dreaded castle grounds and through the woods but your dress isnt the smallest thing in the world” he said as [ ] let out a giggle , picking up the dark shirt and skirt he had given her along with the meal : some type of rice and meat with soup. Before she could ask the man answered “No i didnt steal it, i told you this is my home , its only natural id have something in this god forsaken place to eat.” He said as he pointed down the cave. “Theres a waterfall ahead if youd like to freshen up there.” And with that [ ] walked down the empty carved walls, finding the waterfall he was talking about.

Once she was finished getting cleaned and dressed she headed back the way she went, seeing the male now cloaked in a dark cape , fiddling with a pile of wood before setting it ablaze with a bright blue flame. “Ah i see you're finished , ILl be heading out , i'm gonna find us some more wood so you don't get cold. Theres a pot over there where you can reheat your food and get more if you like.” As he finished he proceeded to get up and head down another pathway, presumingly to the opening of the chasm “Wait!” [ ] called out as he stopped, turning to the girl with a questioning look back at her. “Yes princess?” he responded to her as she felt a unnatural wave of heat spreading to her face from simply calling her by her actual title. “What can I call you? And how long will you be gone?” She questioned. “Aw are you worried about me?” He cooed as she puffed out her cheeks “I was just curious” She lashed back as the male in front of her laughed , giving her a crooked smile. “ The names Dabi, and i won't be gone too long, an hour or so” Dabi said, giving her a smile as he started to leave again.

“Oh yeah , and there's a spare jacket in the back if you get too cold or that fire goes out.” and with that he left [ ] by herself as she finished up the dinner he had made which was exceptionally good, even better than what she tended to have at the castle. While she waited around for dabi to come back , [ ] looked at her royal dress, the red and pinks making her want to revolt as she pushed the fluffy tooled pile up into a blanket of sorts, covering her legs as she sat there thinking about her predicament “I really ran away...but what else can you do when youre gonna be married off to someone years older than you for land and alliance” she thought with a sigh as footsteps came from behind her , Dabi pulling his hood from his head as he smiled to himself at the girl in front of him “Im back princess” He declared as she turned to him, giving him a small smile as she stood up, dusting off her dress , coming up to Dabi “So...whatcha find?” She started as he pulled the bag from behind him , dumping out different goodies for the two of them. An array of food, wood and fresh buckets for water collections. “Here, this is for you too” Dabi said as he passed her a well woven balck dress, better than the two piece he had first given her. Taking in a deep breath he spoke up “I didn't want you to struggle with rags , so i got you something a little more comfortable and well...suitable for a run away princess” and with that she looked up to him and giggled which was heaven to his ears. ‘Why thank you Dabi..i'm flattered” [ ] said as she took the black dress , running to a hidden corner to change as Dabi smirked “Oh boy..what have i signed myself up for”

Weeks later and multiple posters for the lost princess later, [ ] had a rhythm living with Dabi. They cooked together and he left out to get things from shops ans out in the woods. Word spread that the princess had been stolen and the ugly grape himself had put a reward out for her safe return. Unknown to everyone she was quite content with the dark demon mage Dabi and his home in the woods. He explained the chasm as his work space, a place he could hone in on working with his flames and different elixirs that people needed. He was a half breed of human and demon, his father ridding of him to hide his affair with an otherworldly being, to keep the peace of his people and the overworld people as well. He really wasn’t a bad man, just someone who stayed in the shadows and kept to himself. And [. ] ‘s heart went out to him, as his did out to hers as she explained her own situation. ”Well damn sweetheart at least i saved you hm?” Dabi said as the two of them laughed together about their lives and what they'd like to change.

As the night drew on and they had their fair share of drinks and food that night “Thank you Dabi..for everything” [ ] said randomly as they relaxed by the fire he had started , [ ] wrapped into the oversized fur Dabi made her as the male laid against a log watching the tired girl mumble to him. She gave him a sleepy smile once he put his warmed hand on her face. “You're cute yknow...i'm not gonna let anyone get to you okay?” He said as she shook her head, moving herself closer to him , laying her head on his lap as he rubbed her head until she fell asleep, him soon realizing he was in love with the rogue princess in his lap.

As the next month rolled around , the princess and her demon mage had started a loving relationship, the two of them growing fonder and fonder of eachother. [ ] noticed that Dabi had tried avoiding being around her when she was fresh from the shower or even roaming too close behind her, he even took more time to come home with more ingredients or even sleep opposite to her. She didn't understand the switch from wanting to hold and hug her to avoiding her all day. One day she was able to catch and trap him with her. “Yes princess…?” Dabi ased as [ ] crossed her arms around her chest , the simple movement making him turn from her. “Did I..do something…?” She asked, her eyes bouncing between his as the turquoise she learned to love ignited with heat.

”Oh no doll...you haven't done a thing but make me want you even more..”

And with that comment her eyes widened. “What..?” She questioned. And with that Dabi picked the smaller girl up, pinning her to a crystal wall as she gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck.”Dabi…….?” [ ] called out as he started to kiss her neck ,running his rougher hands up the soft flesh of her thighs. “I think i'm in love with you doll..youve been invading my head or a while and all i can think about is making your cute little body want me the burning way i want you...I wanna make you cry out for me all night long...make you mines forever.....is that okay?” He whispered in her ear. With a shudder she agreed , letting him kiss the swells of her brest as he gave her a lopsided smile, picking her up and taking her to a pile of pelts and wool they made into a bedroom to rest in. Placing her down lightly he towered her , taking off his vest to reveal his toned and scarred body “Youre quite a beauty yknow...im glad you trust me…” He said with a smile as [ ] herself smashed her lips against his, cutting off his mushy talk. With a groan he pushed her dress up , letting her breast bounce out from the top. Pulling away from the kiss she helped him take off the dress over her head. With a shy smile [ ] covered ehrslf and laid back, spreading her legs lightly to expose her glistening lips to him

“Well damn, i havent even toughed you yet and youre this wet..what a little slut you are”

He growled out as he leaned back over to give her a kiss , pulling her lower lip as he licke dhis was down between her legs, giving her clit a hard suck as she whinned , closing her legs over his head as he slurped away at her pussy, making sure to watch her through hooded eyes, a tail whipping from behind him as a pair of horns appeared from atop his head, one mangled and cracked the other long and curled “Surprise” Dabi called out as his voice dropped octaves, it coming out as a low rumble as [ ] felt her walls clench at the sound , a chuckle coming from him. Going back to slurping and sucking on her labia and clit , Dabi watch with glee as the gilr under him started to shake, her hips rolling back to his mouth as he bit lightly down on her lips and pulled away from her , laughing at her pleas and whimpers “Turn sound baby and let me show you how much i love you” Dabi said , watching as [ ] rolled over arching her hips back as he smacked her ass, loving the moan she let out. Pulling down his pants he pulled his throbbing member out, rubbing it hard against her clit as she felt her heart jumped at the feeling of how thick he was. All of a sudden she felt hands pull her cheeks apart as a finger rub around the tight rings of her ass. With a gasp she looked back to see not one but two swinging dicks between the burning up male, a feral look in his eyes as he let a low rumble come from his chest “ Sorry babygirl..when I change there's more than just one of me to deal with, i promise i'll be gentle” He said as he rubbed her tight muscles just loose enough to put in the tip, her lower lips drooling as he slid his true size into her throbbing walls, moans and grunts tearing through the chasm as he pulled his hips back , starting to set a rhythm to his hips. While he picked up the pace, [ ] felt herself being full as the two dicks of his stuffed her. She could help the feeling of her walls getting tighter as she came once then twice and not once did Dabi stop, he laughed as he gave her more and more , pushing himself deeper in her as he let out what sounded like a howl of pain as he doubled in pace, reaching down to rub her clit as she screamed, soon feeling a hot and warm gooey feeling flood her senses. Dabi slowed his hips down as he pulled himself from her ass first, then from her pussy and cum started to leak from her holes.

“Shit...im sorry princess I didnt mean to go so rough…” Dabi breathed out as [ ] turned around giving him hr own lopsided smile as she saw him transform backto himself, those turquoise eyes softening as he saw the woman he had fallen for spent out from his own actions. “Geez when you said you were a demon i didnt think it was true…” She laughed as he scratched th back of his neck “Ive never transformed like this around someone….especially during sex but that means I trust you a lot….well doll..let me clean you up and then...we can go fro round two hm?” He smirked as he watched her pussy clench and relase more cum once he said that. “Mhm...clean me Dabi then we can have some more fun..”

#my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #the circus dome collab #dabi x reader lemon #dabi x reader #dabi smut

398 notes · View notes

wiickedry · 2 years

Text

@bronzewool

#friends ocs #I am offended by how attractive this man is #sir. could you not? #(also stares @ the vibrant grape soda dongas)

He will certainly continue to be offensively attractive! You are recreating the first thoughts of Desgazah when he first meets Galanon. He, too, was irritated at how unexpected good-looking he is. In truth, I’m just happy to know that you find him so! u-u The Alulti are meant to be a majestic, noble, attractive species. (Not their beastforms, though. They’re pretty fuck-ugly, lmao.) But just wait until I commission art for Amoran (Galanon and Desgazah’s firstborn son) and Aleran (one of Galanon’s closest childhood friends). And don’t worry.. even Katie wasn’t expecting him to have bright purple ding-dongs. ;Dc

#[friendtalk]#bronzewool

5 notes · View notes

worstloki · 3 years

Photo

There was an idea... for an AU... where Kid Loki shows up in Infinity War... slightly singed and mildly traumatized... but ready to help take down a lousy purple grape man with an ugly piece of space jewelry.

#obviously i used heavy references for basically the entirety of page 3 #because kid loki goes to that wack loki meeting room so many times #and he falls to get there too i believe?#it was supposed to be a callback/reference obviously but in case anyone didn't pick up on it #idk i drew half of this ages ago and half of it recently #it was an excuse to draw wack loki faces #and i used my finger to draw because my stylus is broke and idk how other people just normally draw like this #so anyway what im saying is that in this Infinity War AU kid loki shows up the exact moment adult loki 'died'#and Kid Loki's got Comic powers just for the record #so there is an extremely OP magic user who just appeared in New York and Mr. Strange doesn't even notice #this AU is saving not just one loki but two you'll see if i decide to draw/write anything else about it #can't wait for Loki and Peter to meet :D #i'm thinking loki is like... 13?#how old was he supposed to be in JiM #he's whatever age that was #thanos ain't even gonna be able to touch earth #loki just went through the trauma of eating a live bird #he's ready to throw hands #but for now he's just been dropped into a different universe and is judging Mr Magpie's tactics to get rid of him #''wait so did i die or not?'' is going through his head #the answer is yes #yes he died #but since loki cannot die thanks to the soul-in-helheim deal loki winds up in the magpie-helmet room AGAIN #and the bird just goes ''hey so loki can't die and that universe's loki is about to nosedive so i should just pop him there''#and then he does that

99 notes · View notes

c-c-cherry · 4 years

Note

What's the most embarrassing thing each of the Bucci gang has done/has had happen to them?

Ok I took WAY too long on this but I loved this question so much and it was so fun coming up with these. Special thanks to my girl @jjadegreen for helping me!!

**This isn’t NSFW but I’d say its teen and up just because of some of the stuff talked about hehe**

______________________

Mista

-Pre-canon Mista was a bit sick one night so Bruno made him stay home while they all went on this one mission

-So naturally he’s like “HELL YEAH HOME ALONE”

-Bruno forgets his wallet and had to come back a little while later to get it and walks in on him wearing the following:

One of Abbacchio’s signature goth dress robe thing

Like 12 of Bruno’s barrettes all sticking to the top of his head

Fugo’s tie

Narancia’s bandana

All while BLASTING K-Pop at full volume in the living room. And our man is INTO IT. This isn’t just some radio coincidence shit, he was SCREAMING the lyrics. He owns the CDs.

-Bucciarati LOSES IT. Mista has never been so mortified in his life and Bruno has never laughed so hard in his life.

-He promises not to tell the rest of the gang but tells him it’s officially blackmail material

-They never speak of it again but at Christmas Mista opens Bruno’s gift and it's a brand new K-pop CD and everyone thinks its just a gag gift but like

-He definitely listens to it later alone in his room

Bucciarati

Bruno Bucciarati does not get drunk for two main reasons:

He blacks out every time

He’s an absolute lightweight

-The last time Bruno got absolutely piss drunk, he was with Abbacchio and it wasn’t even funny. It was just surreal because Bucciarati never lets himself go to such an extent

-For whatever reason Bruno is like “hey I never drink we should go to the bar or something” after a successful mission

-Even though the legal age of drinking is technically 16 in Italy they leave “the kids” home to watch mean girls or some shit

-Mista tags along too because he’s worried Bruno will get drunk and spill about the unfortunate “K-pop incident”

-My man Bruno drank like two beers and was immediately GONE like he got up and got lost in the bar after way too many drinks and ran into a drag Queen with Abbacchio’s hair

-Said drag queen became Bruno Bucciarati’s new drinking buddy

-He stumbles over to the karaoke contest and gets onstage and grabs the shitty bar mic and screams “THIS GOES OUT TO LEONE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWUA TWO YEARS HONEY~” and Mista is just like 👁👄👁

-Because uhhh they have literally been together for two years but everyone in the gang just thinks its a weird on/off thing because they never talk about it

-He sings dancing queen because its by ABBA and both Leone and Mista are fucking screaming with laughter and Abbacchio is filming the entire goddamn thing

-He buys the entire bar drinks they all love him so much

-Afterwards Leone tries to get them home so he leaves them outside while he takes a piss and when he walks back out THEY ARE GONE.

-Mista thought it would be a perfect time for them to get tattoos because his fucking capo is drunk off his ass and there is no better time

-Mista gets these two giant smoking guns on his back and his ass is in SO MUCH PAIN afterward that he leaves Bruno alone while he’s picking out his tattoo to get ice cream

-When he comes back Bruno has a tattoo ON HIS LEFT FOOT THAT SAYS “Never don’t give up.” The tattoo people tried to correct him but he insisted

-Abba finds them and is just like “jesus god” and takes them all to a hotel because there is no way in hell he’s taking them back home like this

-The next morning Bruno remembers absolutely NOTHING and as the gang admires Mista’s giant tattoo they ask if Bruno got one too and he’s like “god no I’m not that irresponsible”

-As soon as they’re alone Abba’s like “you got one on the bottom of your foot” and you can just see the moment Bucciarati’s soul leaves his body

Fugo

-Ok so if y’all didn’t know Fugo literally canonically wears a thong

-This isn’t sexualizing him (also I am indeed a minor don’t harass me) it's just a fact of life. You do you Fugo.

-So he sneaks out of the house once in a while and goes shopping for them cause our man’s gotta live, you know?

-He pops in the underwear store one day and you wanna know who he fucking passes by in the lingerie section?

-Bruno fucking Bucciarati.

-Which isn’t exactly a surprise considering he’s wearing visible lingerie in his tiddy window outfit but like

-That’s like running into your dad at femboy hooters

-Much to his dismay, the man spots him immediately and there’s just this...awkward silence as Fugo is holding this shopping basket of underwear and Bruno is holding the raunchiest piece of clothing he’s ever seen in his life

-They never talk about it again. Fugo finds a different store.

Abbacchio

-The most mortifying moment Abbacchio can live to remember is the first time he told Bucciarati that he loved him

-Pre-canon, our man is NOT having a vibing time

-He gets absolutely wasted with while Bruno’s at his apartment

-He’s the most miserable drunk, so he’s just fucking sobbing and Bucci is sitting there trying to console him and Abbacchio just looks up at him with tears streaking down his face and says “I’m in love with you” and the look on Bruno’s face just makes him feel even more miserable

-The entire night he keeps blubbering about how much he loves him and how much he means to him and how beautiful he is and the entire time Bruno is doing that thing where he tries to cover his face with his hand because our man is mega FLUSTERED up in here

-When he wakes up he remembers EVERYTHING and he wished he didn’t because then maybe he would be able to say that he didn’t mean it

-Bruno is surprisingly just like “Did you really mean it?” and he can’t lie so he just tells the truth and he’s just nonchalantly like “me too”

-Bruno thinks it’ll be a nice wedding story and Abbacchio no longer wants to live on this planet

Narancia

-Mista and Narancia are vibing in the living room one night and Nara tells Mista to grab his gameboy from upstairs

-He says its under his pillow (or else Bruno will take it away every night hehe)

-But you wanna know what else is under Narancia’s pillow? His Diary. No, it’s not a journal or just a blank book, Mista finds a book titled DIARY.

-And the shit in there is priceless.

“Bucciarati is sooo cool. I tried cutting my hair like his, but it didn’t really work. I think I gotta wear this hat for the next couple weeks. Shit. Fuck. If someone takes it off, I’m so fucked.”

“I clogged up the toilet yesterday and was too scared to tell Abba, so I just flushed it again but then the water wouldn’t stop flooding everywhere so I used Aerosmith to explode the toilet and told Abba that it was a stand attack. He believed me. If ANYONE ever finds out, I’m dead.”

“HOLY SHIT. I swallowed a tide pod yesterday and freaked out so I made Giorno turn it into a grape in my stomach with his stand. I almost DIED. But I didn’t so I’m over it. If Giorno ever tells anyone, I’ll kill him.”

-Narancia realizes about ten minutes after Mista left that HOLY SHIT HIS DIARY

-he finds Mista three quarters way through it and gives him $50 not to tell anyone about it.

-The shame never leaves, though

Trish

-Jade gave me a cute headcanon that Trish’s mom was still only teaching her how to properly put on makeup before she died (it's not like there was youtube or anything to teach her either) so our girl Trish only knows the basics

-She puts on lip gloss and blush and mascara and stuff but she’s never even TOUCHED eyeliner and rarely puts on eyeshadow. She doesn’t even wear concealer most of the time (she honestly doesn’t even need to, her skin is baby soft smooth)

-So long story short she kind of misses her mom and remembers how her mom was going to teach her a smokey eye before she died and is determined to teach it to herself now

-So she pulls a little heist and snatches some of Abbacchio’s makeup while they’re all out doing stuff

-She was not prepared for how heavy this shit was. She was used to the lighter, more natural stuff but Abba’s makeup is EXTREME.

-All of his stuff is waterproof so it doesn’t wash off while he’s crying at 3am and it’s just this—dark, heavy stuff.

-She actually hasn’t used a thick, real tube of lipstick before, only those little gloss tubes with the stick because she has smaller lips so when she crouches over with a small makeup mirror in fear of anyone somehow walking in on her and smears Abbacchio’s thick, dark purple lipstick on her lips, she knew she was absolutely fucked. She has no idea how to do this shit, especially not with dark, heavy goth makeup

-The smokey eye does not work. It’s just smeared eyeshadow EVERYWHERE, it looks like she has two giant, awful, black eyes and her first attempt at eyeliner was just—unspeakably horrible

-She has no idea where to start so she just puts on way too much of absolutely everything and immediately regrets it the moment she looks at herself in the bathroom mirror

-Abba comes home early and immediately realizes that some of his makeup is gone and he knows it has to be Trish

-He walks upstairs to confront her but just hears loud, ugly sobbing coming from her room and bursts in only to find her desperately trying to wipe off layers of caked-on water-proof makeup and absolutely failing

-The two of them spend all night taking it off all while Trish is still crying teary apologies to him

-To add in some wholesome Dadbacchio, he teaches her how to properly put everything on the next day <3

Giorno

-Some people forget that as a 15 year old, Giorno sometimes has absolutely no impulse control

-So when Polnareff tells him that he’s the spitting image of his evil, murderous, vampire dad he’s immediately like “haha well I’m gonna go dye my hair now”

-Everyone had something to do that day/night so Giorno waltzes over to the nearest drug store and grabs one of those at-home dying kits (he got dark green cause he thought it would look cool with his new outfit)

-He gets home and has absolutely no idea what he’s doing so he just thinks it’ll work out somehow

-Soooo yeah he does NOT put it in properly at all, he just kind of takes the shit and slathers it all over his hair and doesn’t do his roots and doesn’t put it up and leaves it dripping down his back and stuff and his stupid ass FALLS ASLEEP with the hair dye in

-He wakes up and the sheets are this really awful light green colour but he doesn’t pay any mind to it

-He looks in the mirror and from the front it actually looks good and he gets all excited and decides to wash it out

-When he gets out of the shower it’s this awful disgusting light light ugly green and he almost cries. Almost.

-It looks like someone dunked him in that Nickelodeon slime and he looks at the package and it says the dye will stay in for at least 3 weeks and there aRE TEARY EYES

-He spends the next hour in the shower trying to wash it out. It does not wash out.

-Utterly defeated with his hair matted and donuts practically falling apart, he stumbles over to his room and tries to wash the sheets covered in slime-coloured hair dye which *surprise!!!* doesn’t wash out either!

-He must dispose of the evidence, but of COURSE they’re out of garbage bags so he shoves all the dye kit stuff and the sheets into a mafia body bag and chucks it by the garbage can outside without a single thought

-Which he SHOULD have had a single thought about it, because when they get home and Narancia spots the body bag he’s like “holy shit guys I think Giorno killed someone while we were out”

-So they all panically pop into the house and cautiously try to find Giorno. Fugo finally finds him pacing around his room in the dark and when he flicks on the lights HO-LY SHIT.

-Fugo obviously bursts out into laughter and Bruno books it up the stairs and also starts cackling and Narancia is like “OH MY GOD YOU KILLED SOMEONE LOOKING LIKE THAT?!” and Giorno has to explain to them that the body bag is filled with stained bedsheets (much to his embarrassment)

-Abbacchio takes so many pictures and Giorno is having a nervous breakdown because he cannot live with his hair looking like this

-Bruno makes Abba fix it the next morning and he loves every second of Giorno’s mortification

-The pictures Abbacchio took of that night are framed next to the pictures of Bruno’s wasted karaoke night in his room

______________________

Thank you for the ask, anon!! I’m absolutely exhausted now haha so I’ll scroll through the rest of the asks when I wake up!!

#jjba #ask-c-c-cherry #headcanons #jojo's bizzare adventure golden wind #bucci gang #giorno giovanna

234 notes · View notes

lovecre · 3 years

Text

first meetings - edemasu

the first thing masumi ever said to eden was “get out of the way.”

eden was walking down veludo way, luggage in hand, when he was pushed out of the way by a dark-haired boy around his age. the first thing eden noticed about the boy was his face. he had pretty purple eyes, with a beauty mark near his mouth.

his train of thought was shattered when the boy glared at him and snapped at him to get out of the way though. the boy hurried off, not even giving eden a chance to reply.

eden stood there, stunned by the boy’s rudeness. he shook his head trying to not let it get to him. it still stung a bit, but he wasn’t the same kid who would cry at everything.

he kept walking, until he came across his destination. “mankai company. this should be the place.” he muttered to himself. he approached the doors to the theatre dorm, knocking hesitantly.

“excuse me?” he called. “is izumi tachibana there?”

there was a hushed chatter from behind the door, and a tall, brown-haired woman opened the door with a smile. “eden! you’re here!”

he smiled at his older sister. “hi, thank you so much for letting me stay here.”

“of course, of course, come in!” she gestured for her brother to come in. “misumi, can you help eden with his luggage?” she called over her shoulder.

“yeah!” came the enthusiastic reply from an athletic-looking boy. he picked up eden’s bags with ease, and happily rambled about how his luggage had triangles on it.

a pretty man with white hair approached eden with a welcoming smile. “you must be my new roommate, i assume? i’m azuma, it’s lovely to meet you.”

“oh, um, thank you! it’s nice to see- meet you, too!” eden stammered. he always was weak to beautiful faces.

“come on, masumi, you have to greet the director’s brother!” a round-faced, dark pink-haired boy dragged someone familiar into the living room.

“you!” eden stared at the rude boy from before.

“oh, you two…know each other?” izumi asked.

“kind of.” eden stared daggers at masumi. masumi looked away, glaring at the carpet.

izumi, sensing something was wrong, clapped her hands and changed the subject. “um, anyway, i’m making curry for dinner, if anyone’s hungry!”

another boy behind eden groaned dramatically. “that’s the third time we’ve had curry this week!” eden turned around to see a brown haired boy (who, by the way, was wearing the most tacky outfit eden had ever seen,) with a frustrated look on his face.

“well, banri, would you rather make dinner for the whole troupe?” izumi countered.

“pff, i could do it, easy. i just don’t want to.” banri scoffed.

“i’ll make dinner!” another man poked his head through the door. (just how many people were in this dorm, eden wondered?) the man had short, dark brown hair and a scarred face. “really, izumi, i don’t mind. does anyone have requests?”

“i’ll eat your curry.” masumi gazed at izumi, obviously lovesick. “i’ll eat anything you give me.”

eden felt sick. this rude boy was crushing on his big sister? (who, by the way, was way too old for him.) “ah, i’m not very hungry, but thank you for the offer.” he said quietly.

izumi turned around to eden, brows furrowed. she knew that he was usually raring to go for a good meal. “are you alright?”

“just tired from the trip here. i think i’ll go to bed early and get ready to help out with the theatre tomorrow.” he assured her.

izumi frowned. “well, alright… masumi, can you show him to his room? he’s sharing rooms with azuma.”

“but i want to stay with you.” masumi looked like a kicked puppy.

“well, eden needs to get to his room. so help him out, would you?”

“i guess…” masumi sulkily turned around to walk out of the room, motioning for eden to follow him.

“gee, thanks.” eden muttered under his breath.

the walk to the room was completely silent. eden could feel the tension in the air. really, just what in the world had he done to this boy to make him hate him so much?

once they had made it, masumi stalked off, obviously in a bad mood. eden sighed. already off to a bad start.

the next morning, eden was sent to sort out paperwork in the mankai office for the next spring troupe play. the troupe that masumi was in. honestly, how did everything end up tying back to this boy? he sighed to himself. he was sighing a lot nowadays, he found.

the door to the office busted open, making him jump in surprise.

“izumi, i made—“ it was masumi. as soon as he and eden locked eyes, he stopped short. “you’re not izumi.”

“yeah, sorry.” eden had meant for it to sound sarcastic, but it came out more genuine than he had intended.

masumi’s expression darkened. he plopped a bento box, presumably for izumi, on the desk. “don’t touch this, it’s for izumi.” he went to walk out the door and paused. “don’t get to close to her just because you’re her brother.” he added, and slammed the door closed,

eden stared at the door. what? no, seriously, WHAT? this boy was out of his damn mind.

after he proved to be terrible with paperwork, (his attention span was just too short) he was assigned to help the actors with their roles for the next two weeks.

most of the spring troupe members were fairly civil, doing their best for their roles, (chikage was… a bit difficult at first. probably because eden kept mentally laughing at his hair and couldn’t focus.) except masumi. he refused to listen to eden simply because he wasn’t izumi.

“masumi, come on, please just rehearse your lines.” eden begged masumi. “this is going nowhere, i can’t go get izumi because she has a job, too.”

“don’t care.” masumi refused to even look at eden.

eden took a shaky breath. he was so frustrated he was near tears at this point. he couldn’t cry, especially not in front of this boy. he couldn’t show weakness.

“please,” he managed. “tell me.” he squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to go away. “what the hell did i ever do to you to have you hate me this much?”

masumi finally looked up. his eyes were wide. “are you… crying?” he asked.

“NO!” eden blurted out. “i’m not… crying. just answer the question. please.”

masumi frowned. “i’m not telling you. i want to talk to izumi, not you.”

that was it. eden turned away from masumi quickly so he couldn’t see his ugly crying. “i’m leaving.” he choked out, quickly walking out of the room.

“what—“

eden didn’t give him a chance to finish, shutting the door in his face. he kept his head hung low, practically running to his room. a couple of troupe members tried to stop him on the way, but he ignored them. he couldn’t let anyone see him cry.

he slammed the door. thankfully azuma wasn’t there, as he was out shopping with sakuya.

he hunched over on the sofa he was sleeping on, (they hadn’t installed another bed yet) quietly trying to force himself not to cry.

after a few hours, he found himself waking up, still in his day clothes in the sofa. it was dark outside. he must have fallen asleep while crying. he sat up groggily. he was hungry, really hungry. he wandered into the kitchen, trying to be as silent as possible. he reached into the fridge to make a sandwich or something, when a voice startled him from behind.

“what are you doing?”

eden froze. he stood up, not facing masumi. “getting food.” he answered curtly.

“in the middle of the night?” masumi asked skeptically.

“so?” eden still wouldn’t face him. “what are you doing up?”

“…” masumi didn’t answer.

eden kept making his sandwich in silence.

“sorry.” masumi suddenly said.

eden turned to look at him. “sorry?” he repeated.

“for… you know. making you cry.” masumi looked uncomfortable. “uh… izumi told me to apologize to you. so. there.”

of course. of course he didn’t come to apologize on his own. of course izumi had to tell him.

“it’s whatever.” eden turned away again. he took a deep breath, and reached into his pocket for his phone. he put on some cheap earbuds and unpaused one of his playlists.

“you listen to that artist too?” masumi spoke up.

“…yeah, why?” eden paused the music.

“uh…nothing, i just noticed is all.” masumi mumbled, turning his gaze to the floor.

“…do you want to listen together?” eden questioned.

masumi’s eyes widened. “you’d be okay with that?”

“sure.” eden walked over to the couch and patted the seat next to him, holding out an earbud.

masumi hesitantly sat next to him, taking the earbud out of his hand.

the two sat quietly for a few minutes, letting the music play.

“this ones my favorite,” eden finally said.

“mine too.” masumi had the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

the duo went quiet again.

“what’s your favorite candy?” eden asked.

“i like grape flavored things.” masumi mumbled. “i also like chocolate.”

“i like chocolate too, but who doesn’t, really?” eden mused. “i also like strawberry flavored things. and peach.”

masumi started to smile again. “peach? gross.”

“hey.” eden gently elbowed him. “peaches are great, i won’t stand for this slander.”

“i’ll slander them all i want, peaches suck.”

the two spent a while going back and forth, asking the other’s favorite food, color, animal, and so on.

eventually, eden fell asleep on masumi’s shoulder. masumi let him stay there.

as eden slept, masumi reflected on what had transpired during the past few hours. izumi never asked him what his favorite things were. it felt nice to be asked these things. he liked sharing music with eden, too. izumi never shared music with him.

eden did, though. maybe eden was okay. better than he thought, at least.

maybe he would get a peach candy for him the next time he was out at the store.

maybe.

TAGLIST: @sealovinq @catake @nyaing @honeycombscereal

#self insert #self ship #self shipping #selfship #selfshipping #edemasu #mlm self ship #mlm selfship #trans self ship #trans selfship #THIS IS SUUUUUPER LONG AND ALSO ITS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. HI IM SO TIRED SO .. YEAH please excuse any weird errors i am running on one #(1) cup of coffee. so. yea anyway here

8 notes · View notes

alsosprachvelociraptor · 3 years

Text

They'll no more suffer from hunger, they'll no more suffer from thirst

Inspired by “Aegian Sea” by Aphrodite’s Child

Horsemen of the Apocalypse AU? Or just a random short story :)

The beach, a short time ago - weeks, maybe months - was golden. Not a beautiful gold color, the one you see in films about Hawaii or Maldives, in which the green and crystalline water lay placidly on the shiny golden shore, not that, never that; however, it was a warm color, comforting against the cold steel hue of the stormy Channel Sea.

The beach was no longer golden. It was a dirty, putrid and blackish color, and the sea had turned completely black.

Cliff watched the corpse of a fish float down to the dead-colored beach, resting in the pitch-black waves at his feet.

The summer was now cold, the sky perpetually colorless, the rain was missing for months and then, within a few days, it came down from the sky all together, sweeping away anything that was under those angry clouds.

Cliff's family had never been rich, and right now it was completely ruined financially. His granddad had a painting and decorating company, but nobody was interested in remodeling the house when there was no money even for food.

They preferred to paint that strange number on the front of their doors, for reasons Cliff didn’t understand, and didn’t care to.

Since the Horsemen of the Apocalypse had come down to Earth, the world had never been the same, and even Cliff's short life had changed forever.

Economic crises, pandemics and climate change, it was truly the end of the world as Cliff had known it - but he felt fine, after all.

He spent all his days playing bowls alone, in desert parks and on dry, cracked earth. He liked to play bowls in more unusual ways, like making his bowls jump a crevice in the dry earth, which broke the once muddy and grassy ground like virulent plagues.

And, as usual, he enjoyed taking a stroll around the beach, when the gray sunset made his shadow as long and frightening as a ghost on the sand.

Cliff had sat cross-legged by the sea, but not close enough for the toxic and thick water to touch his legs. Beside his own thin shadow, he approached a much larger, wider and darker one.

Cliff lifted his head, the hat nearly falling off his head full of long, unkempt hair. He stared at the figure behind and above him, imposing and inhuman, with skin as dark as that sea and bright purple eyes, and a pair of large horns like dead tree branches cut their way between the skin of the forehead, and they scrambled through the cold sunset air.

Cliff looked at him curiously. He had seen that man on the news every now and then.

"Hey my lover, are you alright?"

The man above him nodded. Cliff smiled. "Me too! I'm a little hungry, we can only have one meal a day, but I'm fine. Do you know that before, it was beautiful here? I mean, it was kinda nice. Better than now!"

The big man dressed in a very long black tunic and silver jewels with dark and brilliant gems raised his big arm, tore something from his antlers in the shape of tree branches and extended his big hand to Cliff.

It was an apple! Cliff hadn't eaten fruit for who knows how long! The boy stood up happily, clinging to the fruit as if it were worth his own life, and bit it hungrily - it was delicious, and juicy and sweet!

Cliff let out a whimper of happiness, hurrying to finish that delicious meal, alongside the man. The big man let out a smile, softened in Cliff's reaction.

"Thank you." Cliff told him, all smiling. “Do you have two more? I want to take them to my grandpa and my friend Trevor. See, grandpa is old, and there isn't much to eat for him, and he needs energy... "

The cold black sun had sunk into the lifeless sea, and the moon, red as blood, had taken its place in the starless and unknown sky.

Cliff clung to the man's arm, regardless of who he was. He knew who he was, really, but he had no reason to doubt him.

He had offered him food!

“It’s getting dark, I should head home.” and the man moved with him, gently accompanying him towards the city centre,

“No, we can't go through the city. You don't know how many ugly bad people there are, with their numbers written on their face, they just wait for someone to pass and..." the boy continued, but the man gave him a broad and confident smile.

"They won’t dare hurt you, as long as I am by your side."

Cliff nodded. He was convincing, even if he didn’t really understand why.

It didn't matter, he thought, clinging to the man's strong arm, trotting alongside him to keep up with him, his legs much shorter than the man’s.

The city was dead, barren and empty, the grass growing between the cracks in the asphalt and the buildings were pale and bare as bones, bloody under the crimson moon that stained all red in its pale and evil light, the writings barely readable and the numbers engraved on the plaster that shone with a strange light, brighter and redder than the moon itself.

They seemed uninhabited, but Cliff knew that, in the depths of those houses, there were people who, like him, suffered from hunger and fear. Souls in pain, marked by an obscure number, who filled the silence of the city with faint sobs and distant chants.

Cliff looked up at the man, who walked confidently and quickly beside him. His dark and lead-colored skin was not affected by the red light of the moon, and his eyes sparkled with a deep and really strange purple. The silver and precious Scales clanged hanging from his belt with every step he took, and Cliff would have liked to take it and play with it, if only he hadn't known it was more than just human scales, so he kept his hands tight around the bicep of the man.

She stopped right in front of Cliff's poor house, without him saying anything. There was no writing on the facade of Cliff's grandfather's house.

"I live here!" Cliff said to no avail, but he really wanted to let the new companion know that information. "Thanks for bringing me here, ah, mister ... uh ..."

"Famine, the Black Horseman of the Apocalypse." he said in his voice as strong as thunder but gentle as a breeze.

Cliff smiled at him again, his face so young and naive partly covered by his disheveled hair.

"It's a bit of a difficult name, don't you think? I am Cliff the Prince of Bowls, even this is a bit haughty in fact ... Knight and Prince, that's fine! Could you be my personal Knight, huh? What do you say." Cliff continued to his new friend.

The Black Horseman smiled again, as if softened by the boy's bubbly demeanor.

"I could, why not." he answered, definitely amused.

He bent to the ground, one knee on the concrete, now barely shorter than Cliff. He lifted the hat from his head, revealing his pale, immaculate, unmarked forehead.

"Let's do this. I will be your personal Knight as long as that forehead is neat and clean. "

The Pure ones, they'll no more suffer from hunger, they'll no more suffer from thirst.

“No marks. Hm? "

"Ok, it’s a deal." Cliffy chuckled, sure he made a great deal. Famine stood up, gently pushing the boy towards his front door. Cliff waved at him and went back into the house, all hopping and joyful. He started to take off the old felt coat that belonged to his dead father when he felt it weighed a lot more than he should have.

He rummaged in his empty pockets, and found himself with a delicious bunch of grapes between his fingers.

A second of silence.

"Grandpa!" Cliff yelled, realizing his pockets were full of fresh fruit and tomatoes and vegetables. "Grandpa! Trevor! Look what I have! You will never guess who my new friend is!” shouted the boy, energetic as ever, running and jumping into the room where his friend and grandfather were waiting for him.

#idk random story time #Cliff #AU #Very Important ArtTag #PKontent #i do things #that song is EXTRA COOL #Annoying Apocalypse AU

3 notes · View notes

adorabowl7 · 3 years

Note

dina x michael b jordan x chipotle beans x fatty chicken pls❤️❤️

A/N: oop. sorry, this story is going to be traumatizing. I’m in a downgraded crackhead mode.

Dina was walking down the streets of Helheim. She was going to go buy some BTS merch for her husband. They sure did like BTS. Especially Jungkook. Or as her husband, Michael B Jordan would say in a cute squeaky voice, “ Jungkookie”

Wow, her husbands were special. They were also WEEBS. They watched almost every anime in existence.

Dina’s thoughts began wandering to how she met each of her husbands and how lucky she was to have them in her life.

She met Michael B. Jordan at a comic con. He had cosplayed as Sailor Moon. He looked so adorable. But do you wanna know what caught her attention. His stiff yet smackable, ugly yet snackable, plump buns. It was sticking out of his tiny skirt.

Dina’s first reaction to seeing that was the mortification. She never thought she would see a grown man dressed like this. While Dina was in a daze, Michael turned around and looked at her. He saw how his buns affected Dina.

Dina hadn’t noticed that Michael was staring at her, because she was still staring at his baker buns. She didn’t notice until Michael came up to her and began shaking his loaves in front of her.

Dina was embarrassed that he’d seen her and also airy. She let out a quiet toot of excitement. Thankfully no one heard. But everyone’s attention was fixated on Dina and Michael. His bun shaking was so intense, that it felt like she was in a tornado. Every bounce resulted in her stumbling because of the intense wind it emitted.

A minute later, Michael stood up, grinning.

“Did you enjoy the show?” He asked her.

Dina blushed. Her clothing was messed up due to the wind. She managed to blurt out a yes.

Michael chuckled at her reaction and put a hand around her shoulders, “You’re fun. What's your name?”

“I-I-I’m D-Dina.” Dina stuttered out.

“Nice to meet you, Dina! I’m Michael B. Jordan. I think we’ll be great friends.” He said excitedly.

Dina beamed. She did want to be his friend. And not only because of his buns. But also because of his personality.

From there on, they hit it off. They became best friends, attended several more comic cons together, jumped Natalie Portman, and ate Jimin’s french fries (ik he doesn’t go to the comic con but just pretend he does ;)”

Soon after that, they halal dated and married. Dina proposed ;) It was a wonderful sight.

Now let’s talk about how she met chipotle beans and fatty chicken.

One day, Dina had gone to Chipotle with Michael B. Jordan and her best friend, Thanos. They were devouring their meals together happily, chatting about war crimes and stuff.

That was until Dina took another bite of her food. Right as she did, a crunch sound came out of her food. Yuck! It was the crunchy chicken tendon. She spit it out and gagged many times, which made Michael B. Jordan gag with her. What a considerate husband.

Thanos, being the overprotective friend he is, brought out his infinity gauntlet and blast it with whatever power was stored in it. The table and the ground disintegrated.

After Dina’s gagging session was done, she looked down at the destruction. Dust was floating everywhere. Dina smiled and Thanos and muttered a thank you. Dina looked through the hole in the ground once again but this time saw something moving.

The fatty chicken.... was moving... There was another moving thing. It was...Gassy Chipotle beans.

Everyone was mortified. HOW IS THE FATTY CHICKEN AND CHIPOTLE BEAN ALIVE? The two newly made creatures crawled towards Dina. They sat down next to her and handed her a ring. The chipotle beans also handed Michael B. Jordan a ring.

“Will you marry us.” The two said in sync to Dina and Michael B. Jordan.

Who knows what could have happened if they said no. So they both reluctantly agreed. So now, they were officially married.

“Hey! Where is my invitation!” Thanos yelled.

“Shut up fatty purple eggplant looking barney looking Purple crayon looking long grape from Dina/Sara’s lunch book looking fat cheek.” The Chipotle bean said.

Thanos was taken aback. He then stood up, looking down sadly, and exited the area.

Dina and MBJ couldn’t bring themselves to call for Thanos. What would these mutes do to them? So they did what they do best. And that is staying silent.

A month later of being “married” to the fatty chicken and the chipotle beans, Dina and MBJ slowly started developing feelings for the two. Day after day, their marriage became more and more realistic and less forced.

A year later, Dina and MBJ could happily say that they loved their spouses dearly.

Dina had snapped back into reality after she bumped into a door. Oh wow,diarr she arrived already. The store was pretty far from their house.

Dina went in a bought all the merch she could for them. From shirts to toilet paper to diapers (Fatty chicken had a little diarrhea problem in the morning. Just like Catra).

Her total became $4,008,458. She would buy anything for her dear spouses no matter the price. She walked out of the store, leaving behind screaming clients that were ecstatic from her purchase amount.

She sighed happily and looked at the bun load of merch in her arms. She loved her spouses. Even if they were the biggest BTS fans ever.

A/N: YO.....I’M SORRY? SEND HELP

#fanfics #dina #michael b jordan fic #chipotle #fatty chicken #dina fanfics #requests #chipotle beans #polygamy fic lol #i’m wheezing

14 notes · View notes

quotes-of-dreamland · 4 years

Note

do any of you have a stupid nickname for certain characters?

Mod Susie: Acceptable last names for Zan, according to me and my brother: Parmesan Pomegranate Partyhat Partition Pambalabadgmvhhjf Primadonnagirl Pancake Partisan Parkinglot

Mod Taranza: I’ve got-

Kirby: Gumwad, Gumball, Tiny Godslayer

Taranza: Dapper Spider

And finally

Magolor: “Egg boy” but it’s must be said like Rolf from Ed, Edd n Eddy

Mod Ribbon:

Kirby: Star Baby, Pink Theydy, Dirtby, pastel hued dayglo hubba bubba original flavour bubblegum death machine

Prince Fluff: Cotton Candy Baby, eyebrow boy

Ribbon: Crystal Baby, mineral craver, gun fairy

Magolor: Catboy McBitchWizard, blue eggs & ham

Susie: Evil Capitalist Belle Delphine

Marx: grape, rotten grape, stupid dumb little purple idiot, smug fucking clown face, lilac hued idiot asshole, ugly plum flavoured tic tac shithead, dumb moron snake bitch, smarmy lavender dipshit, shitty evil rat bitch jester orb, ugly concoochie gamzee kinner juggalo man all jokes i love marx i swear

Mod Skirby: I’ve only got one unique one.

Taranza < Ranza (Razzberry Ranza ssksksk)

Mod Lor: Galacta Knight used to be chicken man, Lor is boat mom, Magolor is either egg boy or hazelnut boy, Meta used to be Blorb(blue orb)

#mod susie #mod taranza #mod lor #mod ribbon #mod skirby

16 notes · View notes

mshermia · 3 years

Text

No. 03 - Nothing Left To Lose - Part I

Whumptober Prompt No 3. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY

Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint

The reversal of the Snap added 3.5 billion people back to Earth’s population. 3.5 billion more people to house somewhere, 3.5 billion mouths to be fed, 3.5 billion people who return to a world that was not expecting them to ever come back.

In the aftermath of the victory over Thanos, Peter Parker finds himself in a bit of a situation. Instead of helping the "little guy", what is he supposed to do when the "little guys" start helping themselves to the property of others. Tony finds out that his billionaire status doesn't really help that particular situation.

###

I'm using my own Fix-it to Endgame "Like You'd Know How It Works" as a basis for the timeline, though the prompt will work fine without having read that story. The important part is, that Tony's not dead.

Baseline: 2 weeks after Tony is brought back from the multiverse.

###

AO3 Link

###

People never did tell you what it would feel like to come back from the dead. Possibly because people had very little experience with things like that. The odd person being found after they had gone missing for a long time, maybe even been presumed dead, that was one thing. Something like that might happen from time to time. But full-on coming-back-from-the-dead? Well, Tony had always been a pioneer when it came to living through the weirdest shit.

To be fair, to him it wasn't a resurrection per se. He hadn't been dead after all, just his other-dimensional self. Well, just... And the other version of him remained quite dead still, thank you very much, and in all honesty, he wasn't anywhere close to being cool with all that yet. Possibly ever. So there was no way he'd let that big brain of his even start to muse over what was basically his corpse that lay buried not too far off their house. Chances were, he'd never be cool with thinking about that part. So, he didn't. Didn't think about it. Didn't talk about it. Just waiting for it to go away. Which it would. In a few years. 50, give or take.

He rubbed both hands across his face, an active effort for his brain to change the channel. He was supposed to be paying attention to the furry beasts in front of him.

"Seriously, Gerald, you're acting as if it wasn't in your best interest to keep your neck un-wrung. Fluffy, Tiny, let's go."

Gerald didn't like the barn. He was used to grazing wherever and whenever he wanted, nobody's schedule to follow. A free spirit after Tony's own taste. But there was a reason why their stock had grown from one fairly independent alpaca to a flock of three. Damn poachers. Or rogue hunters. Something along those lines, he hadn't inquired in that much detail. They had decimated the two herds in the near-by village, only Gerald's new barn-mates had been able to flee.

And apparently, the Stark's had expanded their life-saving services to the community's life stock now. Well, Pepper had decided they would and Tony wasn't going to question whatever it was that made Pepper happy, not any time soon. His family was the only thing that mattered now. Not the village's life-stock-politics, not any kind of politics. He had retired from everything that didn't directly involve making the people he loved forget about that little death-mishap.

Tony grimaced to himself. Semi-officially retired at least. Yes, in the long run, he was likely to consult for the team and there was always Peter's neighborhood-avenging to support. He'd never leave the Spiderling hanging, no pun intended. But right now, there was some healing he had to supervise. Emotional healing that could only be done with lots of hugs and kisses. With hot chocolate by the fire and glasses of cold wine by the lake. With breakfast in bed and comfy afternoon board game sessions. With nights spent sitting next to his kids' beds, for their benefit of course, not just his own. That was why he had come back with his little protegee after all. For them. And Tony would do whatever it would take, even if it involved wangling three alpacas at once.

Those very alpacas who were very reluctant to move into the barn. Even with how remote the cabin lay, they weren't safe outside anymore, not with the sun slowly setting in the west. But all the pulling on Gerald's head-collar just didn't get him moving, not until Pepper took pity on her dear husband and lent a hand. While she was pulling on the leash, Tony was pushing against the stubborn buck's backside. Alpacas didn't usually tend to kick with their hind legs. That was horses... right?

He groaned, rolling his stiff neck from one side to the other as the gate clicked shut behind Pepper. "Remind me again... Why did we agree to this?"

Pepper didn't bother to send him a scolding look as she wrapped the security seal around the gate's locking mechanism. "Because we're good neighbors?"

"We are?" He smelled like damp fur. When did wet fur and barn animals become his life? "Since when exactly? Was there a house meeting? Did I miss it?"

"Mh... do you need a reminder of the process of negotiation?" She took a step towards him, one hand in his shirt pulling him close against her, their lips almost close enough to touch. "You smell like wet alpaca."

He pulled in an affronted gasp. The hand that was still holding his shirt pushed him away from her, her lips stretched wide in amusement. "Come on, Cesar. Maybe I'll remind you after a hot shower."

"Hey!" He followed after her. "Cesar? Really? First of all, Gerald is not a dog, second... how about during the hot shower?" He had caught up with her, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively. "I could think of a couple of other things that—"

"Boss." Tony froze as FRIDAY's voice rang in his earpiece. "Captain Rogers is on the line."

"Oh, but whyyy?" He cringed, not just because it was evident from Pepper's face that whatever road that moment had been leading them down on, was gone. Replaced by the kind of dread he was supposed to shield her from.

"He is asking to speak to you. Immediately."

As Tony groaned again, Pepper blew out a shaky breath. "Everything okay?"

He only pulled a frown as he told FRIDAY to put the man through and didn't bother with any niceties. "What's going on?"

"We need you." Rogers' voice was low and solemn.

"Excuse me? I'm retired." The nonchalant quip was second nature to him but he couldn't deny that the Captain's voice gave him the creeps.

Pepper stepped a little closer and whispered a pained "No!", worry radiating off her like someone had flipped a switch.

"Yeah, we don't really have time for that right now, Tony." Rogers seemed even less inclined to take Tony's demeanor in stride than he usually was. "It's your pet project."

Deep down, Tony had suspected something like this. They knew not to call him for anything but this. "What happened?"

"He's in the middle of a bit of a situation. You need to get here. Now."

"Tony, what's going on?" The way Pepper's hand curled painfully tight around his wrist, she seemed to instinctively know what was up.

There should be a process, how he made those decisions. There should be but in all honestly, it was likely redundant since there was no question as to what he would do if the kid was in trouble. Whenever the kid was in trouble. He didn't hesitate, not even for a second thought. "I'm sorry, honey." He pressed a kiss on Pepper's cheek - any light-hearted banter about alpaca-smell forgotten - as he tapped the nano housing unit hidden underneath his shirt.

"Gotta make sure the kid's safe." He pried Pepper's fingers off his arm. "I'm sorry, honey."

The thrusters engaged before Pepper could draw a breath to argue. He was so retired. He was so retired and they all knew that. It could only mean one thing: the kid was in deep shit.

His heart was racing. This shouldn't even be happening. The kid... he had given the kid the best protection anyone could imagine. The Iron Spider had held up against the ugly purple Grape. Nothing on Earth could... he swallowed hard. He had just been back for a couple of weeks. He was just getting some normalcy back. His family.

Time seemed to crawl by as he shot across the New York sky. The route took him straight to the coordinates that FRIDAY had extracted from Peter's suit. Tony had sent out a call to the kid. When Peter didn't answer he sent out another. This one Peter rejected outright. Still too far out to access the team's comms, Tony and his thoughts had another couple of minutes to imagine the worst until they finally arrived in Queens.

The location was a rather unremarkable looking warehouse, some windows smashed, a couple of doors off its hinges. A little more prominent was the number of police cars parked around the property. There were at least 12 of them, more sirens approaching from the distance. None of them attempted to intervene or even talk to him after the suit had touched ground within the police's perimeter and he made to walk into the building. The picture that presented itself in front of him didn't match what Tony had been expecting. Not in a good way. In fact, it came very close to giving him a heart attack that was going to get in the way of all the supervised healing he still had to do.

Rogers and Barnes in full Super-Soldier outfits stood opposite his boy. His boy had his back turned toward his teammates and stood smack in the middle between them and a whole group of people, their faces mostly covered with scarfs or other contraptions. Some of them were frozen, eyes wide as they were staring at the Avengers in front of them. Others behind them were quietly emptying the shelves of the warehouse. Boxes upon boxes were ripped open and their content vanished in backpacks and large carrier bags. One of the looters however had a very tight grip on a middle-aged dude, a handgun pressed against the man's temple.

Tony froze where he stood, still hidden in the shadows of the entryway.

"...and I get that." Peter's arms were stretched wide. One in front of him at the crowd of people, the other towards Rogers and Barnes like he was urging them to stay back. "This is just not the way to do it, okay?"

With a pressing need for more information, Tony's eyes roamed across the warehouse. Besides the guy on his knees with the gun to his head, a few more people - he counted 10 of them - had been cuffed to three of the large storage shelves. Only a couple of people were standing guard over them. Most of the other intruders were busy stuffing their bags with everything they could— Food. It had just dawned on Tony what was stored within this facility. Canned goods and boxes of what looked like pasta, beans, or rice. These people were stealing food.

"You get it? You don't get anything!" It wasn't the guy screaming those words, just someone else in the crowd, a young woman. "When's the last time you had a warm meal, huh? We came back to nothing!"

"You have every right to be angry." The kid had turned a little away from the hostage, his arm still signaling for calmness. "Coming back to this was a shock. For me too, okay? But this... you don't want to do this. Just... just take the food and you can let him go, okay? This isn't you!" Tony's eyes shot back towards his Spiderling, frowning. "This is— hey... stop! Don't!"

The guy with the gun was pulling on the hostage's shirt, forcing him to balance himself a little more upright on his knees, squirming in his hold.

Rogers had shuffled a little closer. "You don't want to do anything rash now, son."

"Fuck off, traitor," the man spat back at the Captain.

"Stop, just..." Peter's eyes were still on the hostage and his abductor. "I told you to leave, Captain! You're not helping!"

"Spider-Man—" Rogers was interrupted, Peter's voice echoing off the warehouse walls.

"I said, leave!" The boy almost seemed to be panting.

"FRI," Tony whispered inaudible to anyone else because of his suit. "Vitals on the kid."

His heart rate was high, unnaturally high for Peter even during a mission. A close-up provided by FRIDAY confirmed that the boy's hands were positively shaking.

"I can help you, okay?" The kid swallowed hard. "I know that you wouldn't do this if you didn't have to. I can help you and I will, but you have to let this man go. Please."

The group's leader turned from Rogers back to the boy. "You don't know shit about what we want! People are dying because of this jackass! Because of people like him!"

The guy's eyes had found Tony and that seemed to be his cue to advance out of the shadows.

"What the fuck is this, Robin Hood?" Eyes still studying the scene in front of him, a murmur went through the crowd.

Peter spun around, his spider-eyes wide as he looked straight at Tony. "No, no, no, no, no!" He mumbled, his voice echoing in Tony's earpiece.

"You know I can still hear you on the comms, right?" Tony shook his head, sticking to the team-only communication himself now. "Kid... what the fuck is going on?"

"It's... it's fine." Peter's head spun back and forth between Tony and the looters. "Just go home. I got it all under control!"

Tony kept his eyes on the kid, fighting the urge to step any closer. "The dude over there has a gun pointed at this other dude's head. Nothing about this looks like anything's under control. Can we just..." Tony dipped his head to the corner of the room.

"How about I drop, erm..." Peter swallowed hard, still looking back and forth between Tony and the ongoing hostage situation. "I can just drop by when I'm done with all this, okay?"

"How about no?" Tony made a face even though behind the face-plate, it was only for his own benefit. "How about you web this dude up and get some actual control of the situation instead?"

"I got this!" Peter's voice walked a tight rope between urgency and badly suppressed panic. "Just go home, Tony! Please, please just leave!"

There wasn't much that could stun Tony Stark at this point, but an outright dismissal by his intern slash mentee would do it. "Excuse me, did you just—"

"Get the fuck away from us!" Tony's eyes shifted to the looters behind the kid, the guy with the gun was getting antsy. "This is none of your business!"

To Tony's right still a little ahead of him, Rogers inched a step closer to the scene. "Let's just stay calm and figure this thing out, hm?"

"S-stay back!" Another guy from the crowd of looters stepped a little closer toward the main action. He, too, was holding a gun though his arm was dangling loosely next to his body. At a closer look, Tony could spot quite a few weapons, shotguns, knives, and bats in the hands of everyone not currently ransacking those shelves. The group was made up out of a variety of different people, young and old, he could even see some children stuffing tote bags in the back. It was starting to dawn on him, why neither Peter nor the two Super-Soldier's to Tony's right had jumped in guns blazing, not yet.

A whole group of seemingly normal people brought their children to loot this warehouse for all the food they could carry. All of a sudden, the decimated numbers of his neighbor’s alpaca flock left him with a different kind of headache. There seemed to be more to this than he was presently privy to.

Tony cleared his throat, speaking to the whole room. "Unless you want to eat this dude, too, how about we talk about some of your demands, hm? Find a compromise everyone is happy with and nobody gets hurt over?"

For a second, the man's gun twitched towards Tony before he pressed it back against the temple of the man kneeling in front of him. "Shut the fuck up, you murderer."

Ouch. Tony pursed his lips. He hadn't heard that one in a long time.

"Hey!" Peter stepped closer to the crowd, clearly an attempt to shield Tony from their view. "Watch your fucking mouth, asshole."

His jaw popped open and Tony was quick to make an abortive motion towards Rogers and Barnes to stop them from advancing like the kid had done. This was escalating quickly.

"Of course, you're protecting your sugar daddy, you insect. You stopped being a hero when you started wearing this guy's fancy suits. You don't give a shit about us! You haven't in a long time!"

The Spiderling flinched back from the open hatred spewed at him. "I... that's not..." He shook his head, pulling in deep breaths. "I don't want to hurt you, okay? I want to help. We can still all walk away from this."

"Hurt us?" The young woman's voice from before was shaking but still rang harshly through the otherwise quiet building. "We haven't eaten in 2 weeks! We have no place to stay, nowhere safe to sleep!" She pointed a hand at the man on his knees in front of her accomplice. "People like him are selling the little food that is left in the city for 10 times the regular price. We have no money! Nobody helps us!"

"We're here to help now, young lady." Rogers' deep voice always rang with such sincerity, they could only hope it would convince at least some of them. "What you're doing right now is not going to help you!"

"You're not helping us, you want to help him." She pointed at the man on his knees in front of them. "You care more about his property than about the fact that we're starving!"

"Right now," Barnes' low growl surprised Tony more than most of the things happening around them. "We care more about the gun that your buddy there is pointing at the man's head, darling."

"I'm not your darling, jackass!" She spat at Barnes.

"Stop. Stop this." Peter sounded almost scared. "Please."

"He doesn't deserve this kind of money." She barked out before her eyes landed on Tony. "Nobody does."

Tony's eyes stuck with the young woman, his mind racing. Money... was that what they wanted the guy for? His money or plain revenge... maybe a little bit of both. Time to find out what their priorities were.

"You want to take all this out on someone, huh? Alright, Let's do that. How about you let the civilian go and take this up with a bigger fish, hm?"

"No." Peter spun around. "What are you doing? Don’t!"

Tony got a step closer, his focus shifting back to the man that was the group's apparent leader.

To Tony's undeniable satisfaction, the guy's feet shuffled back a couple of inches though his eyes never strayed from Tony. "While you're hiding behind your tin can?"

He had expected as much and his hand was ready to fly up and tap the nano-housing unit. Jaw set, his PR mask in place, the nanites retract just enough for Tony to exit the suit, leaving his armor behind him but still perfectly ready to engage if necessary.

"Stop!" Peter's voice was far from strong now, only a panicky high-pitched squeak. "Mr. Stark, don't!"

Rogers was next to Tony with a couple of long strides, his voice low. "What do you think you're doing?"

Tony cleared his throat before he dragged his gaze away from the looters towards the Captain. "Hostage negotiations?"

"Put that suit back on!" Rogers growled next to him. "That's not why I asked you here."

"You asked me to help." Tony was holding his hands up just below his shoulders, fingers spread wide. "So, I'm helping."

Roger's chest was heaving with deep long breaths. "Getting yourself killed is not helping, Tony."

"I'm not getting myself killed." He had his eyes still steeled on the group leader, careful not to be caught off guard by a trigger-happy hippie. "I'm taking a calculated risk."

"No, you're not." The Captain's hand shot out, holding Tony back with a strong grasp on his arm. "If anyone will be offered up to trade places it—"

"I don't think your bank account will be as attractive to them as mine," Tony hissed. "No offense, Capsicle." He pulled his arm free from Rogers' hold and advanced a few more steps before the kid could get a hold of him. "So, here I am. Let this dude go."

###

Thank you guys for reading!

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I'm always happy to hear everyone's predictions and theories, so let me know how you think Peter and Tony might get out of this one in the comments. Likes and Reblogs are really appreciated!

Hope you liked it! More whump and more for this timeline will come soon! You can find more from this timeline on my WIP Page.

The Fix-it this is based on: Like You'd Know How This Works

2 notes · View notes

isthisyoursnack · 3 years

Text

They realized, this is one of the most unstable parts of the world

And they wanted stability And they gave this building more stability than any other in the city

It was also the tallest Because it had the strongest foundation Dug many feet deep With hands

Our religion though isn’t Catholicism Our monks aren’t monks They’re businessmen They pray with firearms

That’s pretty dramatic! This connection between the landscape, the plants, and humans.

Single file so you don’t damage the roots of the plants! So you don’t puncture yourself

We are one of the cradles of agriculture in the world

Notice that we don’t have any sharp angles And we don’t have any curves either Always square corners We wanna do a Mexican garden We wanna do a distinctly Oaxacan garden The stepped frets And then there’s a hook It curls around

Weaving imposes a grid on you This is the art of weaving This is the art of women This is gender equity. There have even been women military leaders Warriors.

These plants aren’t planted by people No one saves the seeds They seed themselves People don’t weed them There’s no word for them in English They are quelitas They are the reason people here have had a good diet in spite of the absence of large animals We are vegetarian by force They account for why people here do not suffer the nutritional diseases

Disculpe Lo siento

(Once the Europeans invade they bring of course pigs)

Mexico is the center of the best cosmos This is a dye plant The source of the best yellow Chia is the source of a high quality oil Not for for frying But for painting

Elfcorn This has been modified the most by people No crop had been as altered

What is maize for u Fuel for our bodies For our other machines For plastics and textile fibers U just drop It into the compost bin And u don’t feel guilty about it

People developed a wonderplant Genetically incredibly flexible Fast growing It is the most human plant The most humanized plant

What do you eat in secret What do you secrete so privately What tiny cancers are you spoon feeding into your mouth

We should not be threatening that diversity At the expense of human health For financial gain

They perform beautifully They start suffering if it rains too much

I also want to point out that we don’t have labels We don’t want you to read about the plants Labels are really difficult We want you to experience the plants

What language will you use and at what levels How much information And who will you address And why not Zapotec?

We started suffering biopiracy To propagate in a lab a very valuable cactus This is a genetic treasure of Mexico So why should someone benefit

What do you do with quicklime? You slake it!

450 years ago you made your own mortar We want to relate the landscaping and the selection of plants To what has happened here.

If you don’t go to the markets you won’t understand the people here You boil your hard dried maize kernels As much as your family needs In limestone pots To get full nutritional value An alkaline treatment to gain an amino acid and a vitamin Which otherwise you wouldn’t get

It’s crucial

It allowed civilization to develop

But how did they figure it out? THAT is the question.

It’s time It’s time It’s depth It’s alchemy

These plants only grow on limestone That plant is the source of the sleeping mats

Same holds true for the agave This has no English name It’s called vichitachi

We are well within the tropics. We are below the Tropic of Cancer The Spaniards were very good record keepers

Family by family Hamlet by hamlet Over 90 percent of the population died Because of the violence of the Europeans Because of the diseases Disease after disease The people in Americas were isolated They were unexposed They were defenseless

This is the biggest population loss in human history It changed history overnight If it hadn’t been for that, Mexico would have been a dramatically different country. The Americas would have been a dramatically different country

It set the stage for Europe’s storms For Europeans to flourish They wanted to restore the buildings to their original beauty But no body knew how to do it They had to recreate it from trial and error

The tallest tree is in alignment with the master line In this way there is a conversation going on Between building and garden We facilitate this dialogue This is a terrestrial bromeliad Don’t get next to it. It has stinging hairs It’s again a petit croon A protection against large animals It is loaded with toxins. Cycads

They will eat the new flush of leaves And it will not taste bad to the cow The cow will eat away It’s a slow acting poison It’s a nerve poison The cow starts walking funny It drags its limbs Days later The muscles that allow you to breathe No longer work And the cow dies of suffocation The cattle ranchers are furious.

These are the plants or the season between the autumn equinox and the spring equinox That doesn’t have to do with Christianity That must have to do with indigenous beliefs In ceremony in ritual in dance

How clever are the indigenous people? How long and intensely they have interacted with indigenous plants.

They leech out the poison They use the starch in the tamales for day of the dead The quesillo happened in the late 1800, by accident.

A little girl was making cheese And she made a mistake And what she made was better than the original Nobody had the most remote notion that the Dominicans were doing this here Apparently there were no windows.

Majolica embodies the fourth cultural root of Latin America: The arabs.

The rainfed cistern We’re going to see afterward.

Al heeba From Arabic To talk about water management, we rely on Arabic.

Azucar, Anil or indigo All from Arabic

I knew this because the trees were whispering in harsh beautiful throat tones Sbah el-hair

Good morning Good morning 7 sbah And I thought of Bouchra rolling her frog tongue Bred from thorny ancestors These are thornless cactus These are prickly pear

This is an insect It’s a parasite A pest This is wild cochineal This is called carmenic acid It’s blood red Unlike blood It will not turn brown It will not turn grape

Think about al the reds in nature Carrots, more Try to paint with beet juice It will turn black It will turn ugly

This explains what you see in Santa Domingo This is a stable molecule Despite the sun

The domesticated cochineal It requires people Like maize To care for it

Juan Cortez receives a letter From the emperor in Spain They had heard of a red dye It was second only to silver and gold

But oro and plata are nature’s process This is man made

Everybody wanted it It when to China It went to Europe They were mad for it Colored candy Rouge and lipsticks In painting

All the masters all the way to the impressionists Even though by the late 1800s they are had the synthetic reds But they preferred this Blacks and purples and reds

It gave unique depth Traditionally done with the tail of a deer Because it’s so soft To brush off the bugs

They hammered all these rocks into the ground so they wouldn’t move or shake.

--- this has been a transcription of a poem I was told in April of 2018 during a tour of Oaxaca’s botanical garden, with slight editorial additions

2 notes · View notes