Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.
Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!
Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*
Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.
Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*
Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.
Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*
Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.
Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*
Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!
Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*
im ngl that scene in the lighthouse when hes trying to jerk off to the idea of a hot mermaid but keeps getting distracted by unsightly visions symbolizing his guilty conscience and descent into insanity is so real like. it really is like that sometimes
The twins attempt reparations. Elesa is charmed by their wet emolga impressions and earnest earmuffs. She still can't understand their words very well but she can read between the lines of script.
A day after after this Unfortunate Sequence of Events!
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Kon falls into the ocean, exhausted, and genuinely doesn't think this is going to end well for him. He's gonna faint in the middle of the ocean, where he'll sink to where the sun can't reach him. He won't be able to do the weird photosynthesis thing he and Kal do in space.
He's gonna drown.
Then he's, like, suddenly Prince Eric? From the Little Mermaid? But the Mermaid is way hotter and also a dude.
He's underwater, and very deep. He can feel himself fading out, black creeping along the edge of his vision.
Then, there's movement.
A very large mermaid - sorry, merdude - with glowing green freckles and crystalline, snowy hair. He's roughly the size of an Orca, and has the coloration of one aside from the freckles and vivid, glowing green eyes.
The merdude reaches out, very gently cradles Kon in his hands, and Kon's exhaustion catches up to him. Kon blacks out.
Kon wakes up on a California beach, alone.
He immediately tries to reach out to Aquaman; he's gotta find that merguy and uh...thank him. Maybe ask him out. He's not sure how he'd date someone the size of an Orca Whale, but he's Superboy; he'll figure it out.
~~~~~~
Aquaman has no idea what Superboy is talking about; there is no race of mer that large. He'd know, he's the King of Atlantis. Superboy keeps telling him he's wrong, though.
And the more he looks into it, the more he's hearing rumors of a very large, very ancient mer that spends their time lounging around old shipwrecks.
A mer that disappears the second anyone tries to approach them.
A ghost.
Or; Danny was lazing about in the ocean, searching for treasure from sunken ships (Sam said he needed a hobby), using his larger, slightly more eldrich ghost form with the tail.
Call him cringe, but it feels more fitting to be in the ocean with that form. Makes him feel all majestic and the like.
He comes across a hero floating in the ocean. One he vaguely recognizes as a member of Young Justice? They're in like...California. Somewhere. He decides to play taxi. There are consequences. One of those consequences may or may not be a date.
Call me fighter, I'll mop the floor with you!
Call me lover, I'll take you for a drink or two!
You'll get older, and maybe then you'll feel some control-