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#uhhh I did read over this a few times but idk how good my editing skills are so...
jetgirl1832 · 3 months
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20 Questions More
This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. @nottawriter hit me with a tag, I have been attacked lol.
1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship / fandom? A dash of shower thoughts, with a pinch of I watched a movie and couldn't help but think... Yes, that will work. They often feel like the come from nowhere.
2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good? That's not fair how dare you ask me this!!!! Uhhh I'm mostly reading Supercorp stuff these days sooo... @jazzfordshire, @mycatismyeditor, @fazedlight, @innamorament0, @scribblingpunk, @fyonahmacnally to name a few. AAAAND my co-author and a vast array of things @tomatopudding! Why? Idk, I just get drawn a lot to these works and think they're lovely, and I love their depictions of these characters I love.... with @tomatopudding we just vibe very well, sharing the same five brain cells helps.
3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write? If we're talking Supergirl... That's so hard, but I might have to say Brainy and Nia if really pressed... and Alex. I really enjoy Alex.
Otherwise, my other faves include all of the Les Amis from Les Miserables (if you know you know), specifically Courfeyrac and Marius and their hilarious dynamic. Other faves include Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton, Eponine Thenardier and... This could go on for a very long time, are you sure you have time?
4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you’d never write about? Which ones? Not putting Kara and Lena together just makes me sad... So Supercorp ftw all the way, they are my top (I am a lot more amenable in other fandoms I've written for)
Tropes... I'm unlikely to do Omega-verse, I haven't done it and I can't see myself starting even if I sometimes read it.
5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?
When I worked in retail I wrote on stupid little scraps and probably lost about 75% of them. Sometimes the method is hand writing, and then typing and making edits during that process as well. The handwritten can vary drastically from the typed draft lol.
I tend to fly by the seat of my pants unless someone is keeping me in line. I'm pretty darn chaotic.
I doubt myself a lot, so I always think whatever I write is garbage no matter how much proof there is that's not true. Also, sometimes I get burnt out, or my muse dies and then I feel terrible. Yay.
6) What is your favorite part of your writing process? Falling down rabbit holes, looking into fun topics. Likely ending up on a government watch list for the stuff I've searched up over the years
7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic? Uhhh.... hmm. I have no idea what the weirdest is lol. Cause it's on my mind, probably looking up what types of wood are easiest to chop, and why. (There is definitely weirder, but I don't remember right now).
8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)? Commas. They hate me, and I hate them.
9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why? Oof. Uhhh... This is so hard! Honestly there is a lot of stuff in my co-written very long series Hamilton Family Album that was *a lot* between research and feels.
Especially when you're co-author hits you with unexpected feels out of nowhere that you weren't anticipating (YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID).
10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely? Of course, they have. It happens all the time.
11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why? Ohhh... Hands down Kara and Lena, I wish they could be my friends and we could hang out. Why? I think that they are absolutely incredible, wonderful and I could just sing their praises for ever.
12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing? Oooo, I'm a sucker for fluffy romances, and I've been dabbling in smut recently. Other themes for me can be like found family is a really popular one for me.
Since I've written both a lot of Les Mis and Hamilton stuff (among other similar things) I've done a lot of "Modern AU's" as well, which are uhhh varied to say the least. If I can treat anything they way the treat most Shakespeare pieces these days I do it.
13) What’s your most important resource as a writer? Asking for help! Soundboarding with other writers, I love doing it. It helps me make sense of my ideas... Or decide they're maybe too out there (almost never lol)
14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work? Reading it out loud, I have a hard time noticing errors otherwise. Asking someone you trust to look it over as well, take your time and double and triple check if you're unsure about something.
15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic? D. All of the Above
16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it? I try to just write for myself, usually because I haven't seen something like it and think it should exist. I do really enjoy getting comments if only because I'm always curious to hear what readers think about my work.
17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character / ship? I don't, and if I did it would be odd... I'm the most massive theater nerd. I do have songs that I think fit the vibes, and some shows I listen to have more apt things than others. Or if it's Les Mis it's the whole dang album lol.
Supercorp things if anyone is curious (and wondering how odd it could get): Mercury Rising from Lizzie, Come Home With Me, Anyway the Wind Blows, Wait for Me and Wedding Song from Hadestown, In A Crowd of Thousands from Anastasia, Origin of Love from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Maybe I introduced you to something fun today.
18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it? Oh dear... I don't know. The thing I'd love to see art for isn't up yet and I just think it would be fun but it will be called What Was I Made For... And we're gonna leave at that for now.
19) How many WIPs do you currently have? I'm finishing up You've Got New Followers (One chapter left!), I think three other WIP's (two more plotted than others) and my WIP for May-Hem... So five?
20) What’s your advice to new fanfic writers? Don't be afraid just because you've never done it before. That's why fanfic is amazing. You can do what you want and in reality no one can stop you, just make sure you're having fun.
My fics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetGirl1832/works?page=1
Tagging but no pressure: @tomatopudding and @innamorament0
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twinhood-2dot0 · 8 months
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My Turn Ons (in fiction) aka Attack On Titan/Chainsaw Man obsessive appreciation post
I started writing this post about what I liked to see in works of fiction, but uhhhh it quickly devolved into just praising every aspect of those previously mentioned mangas. Look I swear I like more than these two, they just seem to hit every single one of my spots??? These are the first works of fiction I really obsess over because of the plot and the storytelling and not just characters and worldbuilding. Like, most of my favourite franchises are mostly because of characters. DC, Rick Riordan stuff, one certain novel series that feels fills me with rage just thinking about, you know the one, you get the point. Also, I'm writing this while watching a video overanalysing Attack On Titan story arcs :P. Okay, that's it for my explanation for why this turned into a post singing praises, the rest is what I started writing and am too lazy to edit the intro for.
I spend a lot of time on TVTropes. And significantly more time obsessing over the new work of fiction that I just discovered and fell absolutely in love with. And recently, I’ve found out a few things that make anything instantly a favorite for me. Lemme list them in no particular order.
1.Death. Obviously. You probably saw that coming from lightyears away. I really love works of fiction that do not shy away from killing off fan favorites and well established characters unceremoniously. Examples include Attack On Titan, Chainsaw Man, The Walking Dead, Avengers: Infinity War to a lesser extent because of the events of Endgame, The Suicide Squad, the Arkham Series, I mean uhhh do games count, since Batman has died at least like 20 times by my hand and other characters too because I just wanted to see them die? Anyways, the Arkham series also has a huge canon death count of huge characters.
2. Sudden Tonal Shift. I love when stories start off as goofy and comedic and suddenly shift to dark and depressing in a matter of seconds. Examples include Chainsaw Man, Attack On Titan (yeahh, it’s kind of spoiling it, but dw, you won’t see it coming), AoT to a lesser extent because it is one tone throughout, but shifts how it is approached suddenly and quite often, and Your Name.
3. Female and LGBTQ+ characters. I… don’t really know how to explain this. Basically uhhh I want every single character treated the exact same way. Idk how to really explain it, so lemme use some examples. I feel like Attack On Titan has the best female and LGBTQ characters. Okay, okay, I know I say that AoT is like the best work of fiction ever created a crap ton, but really, I’ve yet to see anything that did female characters soooo well. One of the few things that made me despise anime is their female characters. Let’s see here. Death Note, there is one female character in the main cast and her whole purpose is… fawning over the main character. There is literally nothing else that she does. And another manga that I had the displeasure of reading as a kid is Fairy Tail. It’s led by a female character, which you might think is a good thing but… she’s so sexualised like oml like wtf the solution to every problem is not “sex appeal”. I’m not even joking, the phrase “sex appeal” is probably more used than “Fairy Tail”, and My Hero Academia is good enough ig? They have pretty strong female characters but not very well written imo, and, well, this character’s outfit exists.
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Also yikes I found this.
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She’s a minor, for god’s sake. There are quite a few more characters with questionable outfits and questionable writing but I don’t want this post to get gigantic. To be clear, I am not singling out just a select few mangas and calling the whole industry sexist. There are a lot of stories with strong women who aren’t overly sexualised, but shounen is pretty much the most popular demographic, written by mostly men aimed for adolescent boys, so that lends itself to these issues (Also, sidenote, I have no idea where the line between shounen and seinen is. I’ve read just one seinen, Parasyte: The Maxim, and I’ve read shounen like Attack On Titan, Chainsaw Man, and Fire Punch, and that felt like they had more sexual themes and nearly as much gore and violence?).
So why do I like Attack On Titan’s female characters? The story never really concerns itself with gender. It is pretty much true equality, and it actually has female characters that contribute so much to the plot and stand on their own apart from the main character (don’t you dare say Mikasa, that’s a can of worms you do not wanna open even among the piles of worms that are all my posts.). Also, look at the art of the characters.
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(Actually, I prefer their manga art. Much more androgynous. As perfect as the anime is, I hate that they made them female. I loved the fact that their gender was up to the reader's interpretation in the manga. Hajime Isayama even got mad at the translators for using female pronouns for them in the English translation.)
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Okay, not exactly the best picture, but I just loved that panel so much :P.
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Also they are explicitly called male in the manga and then female in the anime?
Those are just a few examples, but no one has very gendered features in the main cast. It’s a thing I noticed recently, but no one grows a beard??? And so many male characters have long hair so even that’s not a distinction you could make. Anyways, my point is, there is no distinction. Strong women fighting against male domination is all well and good but like, I want stories like these more, where women are equals. And the one (maybe two) lesbian characters are so like natural too.
Chainsaw Man also does this surprisingly well. The main character, Denji, is a certified pervert.
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A few panels from the first few chapters.
So safe to say, I wasn’t expecting great female characters. And I was proven wrong. I don’t want to give away too much, but it has some very top tier female characters. Some western examples include DC, obviously, with Batgirl being my absolute favourite, and characters like Harper Row, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown also being some of my favourites. American comics generally don’t have a great reputation when it comes to female characters, like look at some of the costumes from older comics
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I started reading Batgirl: A Celebration of 50 Years and holy hell, did men not know how to write women at all, like what in the actual hell is this
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Down to her "pretty toes"??? Seriously?
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Ah yes, women put on makeup while fighting.
Ah yes, women apply makeup while fighting. But I’m glad to see how far DC has come, with how much of a badass she is now. I’m not going to get into novels, there are a crap ton of novels I could cite for having good female characters, and a lot of being written by women too.
4. What the F did I just read. I like dark humor and dark stuff in general. So I love reading stuff that make me just pause and take in what I just read. All of Tatsuki Fujimoto's works (Chainsaw Man, Fire Punch, Goodbye, Eri, Little Sister's Elder Sister) get more and more deranged than the last, and The Boys too get very insane, and James Gunn stuff also tend to be uhhh weird, to say the least.
5. Extremely careful storytelling..? idk what to call it. Basically, a combination of the extreme opposite of writing by the seat of their pants, an extreme version of Chekhov's gun, and a good mystery. See, every story has it's twists and turns, but what I love is when there's a ton of foreshadowing and one that makes you go "OMG THE CLUES WERE THERE ALL ALONG, HOW DID I NOT NOTICE ANYTHING WHAT THE HELL" on a rewatch, and stories where every single moment and small detail contributes hugely to the plot. I've experienced the story of Attack On Titan three times... kinda? I kinda simultaneously read and watched Attack on Titan the first time, like reading season 1 then watching a few episodes, reading a bit, then watching, you get the point, then I went back and watched the episodes that I read and read the episodes that I watched and I'm currently rewatching it all because the last season came out like an year ago??? MAPPA takes on too much work and then make their workers suffer, anyways, not a can of worms I wanna open now. Anyways, what I'm saying is, every single detail is thought out and have some kinda symbolism or foreshadowing. Damn, I'm trying to find a meme, but I can't, but it's basically someone getting mad with the text saying something like "When your friends don't pay attention to the flowers and the birds (it is foreshadowing)".
Also, I'm also rewatching Chainsaw Man... after finishing watching and reading it less than a month ago, and most of the words spoken take on a new meaning after finishing it.
:P I'm sorry, idk any western media that has done this so well, so these are the only two examples you get.
6. Music. I can't believe I didn't remember this till now. I don't think I need to elaborate again? I've written like three posts about this already. That said, nothing even compares to Attack On Titan.
Yeah that's all I can think of :P. I'm about 14 hours late but meh.
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thatabitcryptic · 3 years
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Have the first chapter of the ficlet for the timestuck au :))
It’s about 1300 words
For context: Ford and Mabel have just convinced Fiddleford to help fix the time tape to get Mabel home. (This is set after fidds quit the project, Ford stumbled across Mabel on his way back from the diner- so everyone’s a bit of a mess but dad instincts kick in here yknow??)
———
Although the couch was much warmer in comparison to the frigidness of the basement, Mabel couldn’t help the cold pit that formed in her stomach. Things were starting to go in the right direction for getting back to her time but.. were they?
Ford and Mcgucket had been practically avoiding each other like the plague. Anytime either of them needed something from the other it was always Mabel who had to speak for them. Sure it made sense they were upset with each other but how could they possibly get her home if they didn’t even look at one another? Grunkle Ford refused to stop working in the basement so he could keep watch over the portal and Mcgucket’s terms of never having to enter it again.. how was she going to get them in the same room? They hated each other.
But then when she brought up the time tape why had Ford immediately jumped to needing Mcgucket’s help?? Ford was a smart guy, and not that she didn’t like the extra company but if her Grunkle had been so angry at his old friend why ask him?
And in the future when they had watched Mcgucket’s memories he didn’t sound mad at Ford, just that he had wanted to forget. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to hold grudges either. Well, future him at least.
The strange air between them wasn’t the only thing that was throwing her off though. The whole house was wrong. It didn’t have any semblance of a home; more of a very disorganised library.
The mystery shack had never been the tidiest place but even when she and Dipper had first arrived Grunkle Stan had the place in organised chaos. Everything had a place and each place made sense at least. Here it was sporadic with no order like Ford had stopped during the middle of something and started a new task leaving previous items cluttered amidst coffee cups and stacks of books.
It was wrong in so many ways and there were so many things she missed from home. Even the little things. The murmuring of tourists in the gift shop, the mouldy spots on the roof, the spur of a tool from wherever Soos was fixing something in the shack, the weird gross smell of Grunkle Stan, Dippers late night reading, Pacifica's sweet perfume, Waddles’ hooves clicking along the floor-
Tears welled in her eyes as she stared down at her blanket. What if she never saw them again? What if Grunkle Ford and Mcgucket were never able to get her back home? Would she have to grow up here? What if she never saw waddles again? His swishy little face, his curly tail that bounced when the toddled behind her-
And Dipper? Would the next time she saw him be when they were born?? Thirty years from now?
Mabel’s head spun; all this time travel made her nauseous. Her chest ached and her hands were hot from wringing them on the scratchy fabric. She couldn’t think straight. It was just the swirling thoughts of her fate in solitude. All she could hear was her rhythmic heartbeat pumping another reason to miss her time into the front of her mind.
Her sweater was too tight, her headband too sharp, her cheeks were itchy from the waves of drying and flowing tears-
“-lright there sweet pea?”
A soft southern drawl from her side snapped her back. Mcgucket.
She didn’t hesitate to launch herself towards the familiar tone and bury her face in his green jacket. It smelt like a strange mix of tobacco, grease and molasses but that was closer to home than the stale dusty air of her surroundings.
“Shh shh shhh shh, it’s okay sugar plum.” He ran a hand through her hair and softly untangled any knots. “Ya’ wanna tell me what’s the matter?”
Mabel’s mouth immediately burst open with bubbling incomprehensible sobs.
“I wanma go h-homemm, Dippmffft, grunkmplmh stamm,” she took a breath and looked up at him with blurred eyes, “m-my pett pig waddles and h-his face.” And then she pressed herself back into his side. Each breath she took shook her body but it was stifled by Fiddleford hugging her closer.
“Hmmmm, a pet pig huh?” He paused and tapped his fingers on her back in contemplation.
“Did future me ever tell ya’ tha’ I grew up on a hog farm?”
Mabel stopped for a moment to look up at him with a trembling lip. “N-no, I-I don’t think s-so?”
Mcgucket drew back with a faux sound of horror. “Well, I never! I can’t ‘lieve this feller’! Ya’ hav’ a pig and ‘e didn’t even offer some advice!”
Mabel smiled and rubbed her nose on her sleeve.
“Naw’ darlin’ here.” Fiddleford reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief for her.
“T-thank you.”
“It’s tha’ least I could do after withholdin’ my advice in the future, or is it before..” He chuckled and shifted to rest his chin on top of Mabel’s head. “I’ll have to remember to tell ya ‘bout it”
Mabel stiffened and wiped her eyes again but didn’t comment.
Maybe it was best not to ask her...
“Now waddles?” he hummed. “I gotta say Mabel that’s a mighty fine name for’ a pig I reckon. The little fellers do tend ta’ waddle about.”
“Y-yeah.” Her voice quivered in reply and she absentmindedly latched onto the sides of his jacket and pulled them in over herself. “He- I miss him.”
Fiddleford could feel Mabel beginning to shake again and he wracked his brain for something else to talk about. He may not have known her for very long but it was heart breaking for such a bubbly kid to be so disquieted.
“How does he fancy the banjo?”
“The banjo?” She turned and lifted her head to look up at him with big eyes and Mcgucket’s heart melted. Mabel may as well have been Stanford’s kid in his eyes, each little mannerism was instantly recognisable as one as Ford’s.
“Uh huh, piglets on the farm used’ ta’ love it! ‘Td help ‘em drift off ta’ sleep in a big stack.”
He grinned at Mabel’s gasp and the way her eyes lit up when she spun around to look at him.
“In a piggy pile?” she started to bounce with enthusiasm.
“In one ‘o the biggest piles ‘o piglets a‘round!” He poked her nose eliciting a giggle.
“Old ma- I mean Mcgucket can you pretty please teach me to play? I-I’ll uhh umm I’ll draw one of my famous catacatures for you!!”
Mabel’s energy was contagious but Fiddleford couldn’t help his knee from bouncing slightly as he sheepishly looked past her to the door.
“Oh uh not that’ I don’t want one of yer drawins’ girlie but I’m not uhh too sure that’s such a good idea, Stanford’s mighty busy at work an’...”
He looked down to see Mabel’s eyes were full of stars as she was practically buzzing with excitement that he hadn’t seen since he met her. Fidds couldn’t help but feel delight at the sight. Just like Stanford.
“Hehaha ‘lright but if we hear Ford comin’ up we ‘ave to hide my banjo ‘else I’ll never see it ‘tagain.”
“Ahh thank you thank you thank you!!” Mabel wrapped him in a tight hug and it was as though all her upset had been transferred into her keenness for a banjo lesson.
Fiddleford stood, and helped Mabel out of her cocoon of blankets before fixing his glasses.
“Ahaha okay okay hush now aha we’ve gotta’ be a bit more quiet kidlet.”
His smile faltered as he saw his hand rising to grip his hair, Mabel must have noticed too because she quickly held onto it and subtlety swung it back and forth as they went to collect the instrument.
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adulthoodisokay · 2 years
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Okay so if how’s Tumblies for work has already been asked - and I forgot what I wanted to ask based on something I saw but if I leave this tab I’ll lose my message right? Oo that’s a neat idea - anyway - uhhh need to copy paste.. and… couldn’t find it. Anyway, is it your dream job? How do I get a dream job? Oh well fuck I said a lot, time to switch this to anon 😅 but mm…. What’s your favorite meme? (If you wanna throw a hot take in your reply that would be cool) 💖
Ps
Does being inebriated make this ask better or worse?
anon...bestie...i hope you are recovered from what i can only assume was a massive hangover.
as for your questions:
i get to work for the place that is truly my favorite part of the internet. i work with amazing, talented, passionate people who care about tumblr and its users. i get to rub my grubby hands over so much data (which i love). and i get to scroll through my dash, for work. i love it.
how do you get a dream job? idk, i just kinda fell into it. i was good at buzzfeed back in 2011, so they hired me. i've been good at using tumblr for a decade, so they hired me. i am very, very lucky.
my favorite meme? that's a really, really tough one. here's a list of a few of my favs off the top of my head (yes, i am showing my age, and undoubtably as soon as i hit "post now" i'll think of a glaring omission):
rickroll. it's pure. it's never malicious. it is funny every time.
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
i get whiplash every time i see a different version of loss.jpg.
The Game (which i just lost, and so did everyone reading this).
blorbo from my shows is so, so good and i don't know how we as a society existed without blorbo until now.
sailor moon "but you didn't do anything"
LEEEEEEYROOOOOY JEEEENKINS
demotivational posters
"is this a pigeon?"
Russian cat translations
x has been dead for y slutty, slutty years
any bird-related memes (borb, birb, the divorced birds subreddit, birds with arms, everything @effinbirds has ever done, etc)
as for a hot take...being vegan and eating a plant-based diet are two different things and i get mad when people use those two terms interchangeably. one of them is a moral and ethical stance and the other one is, well, a way of eating.
ps: better, and your ask made me laugh.
EDIT: CRAB RAVE. I FORGOT CRAB RAVE.
EDIT EDIT: AND THE BALLPIT
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fallinfl0wers · 3 years
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love stories with some genshin boys i thought of while listening to my playlists
includes: aether (210 words), xiao (261 words), scaramouche (277 words) and albedo (307)
warnings (?): spoilers of ‘we will be reunited’, english is not my native language and uhh idk what else, idk really know what these are, headcanons ?? snippets ?? also not beta read and not edited.
it’s long so uhhh i’ll add a cut somewhere
anyway enjoy!! ...whatever this is i guess
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Aether
Falling in love with Aether is like a fun adventure. He, being always the center of attention and the protagonist no matter where he goes, is a free spirited, kind and hardworking man. 
Throughout your time travelling and being in a relationship together, you’ll find that your relationship with the Honorary Knight is one of sweet kisses under the sunlight; innocent handholding while thinking up of what to make for dinner tonight; of easily talked out arguments and finding ways to compromise; of softly pushing each other to become a better version of themselves and, most of all, of supporting and having each other’s backs no matter what.
And when Aether confronts the Abyss Princess face to face for the first time and his world comes crashing down on him, this trait of your relationship shines like no other, as you hold him in your arms after everything was over during the night, Paimon sleeping soundly next to the both of you inside your improvised campsite.
“Even though I’m not sure what -or who- I should believe anymore, I... I know I want to see this journey to the end, and I want you to be there with me for it. Let’s be together until the last moment and beyond.”
Songs:
Snow Fairy - Funkist
Snowing, be honest with yourself and smile When two people are getting closer, time overlaps Fairy, where are you going I will gather all the light and shine it on your tomorrow
Still Lonely - SEVENTEEN
This cursed popularity. Why won’t it leave me? But why am I getting lonelier The early morning chill makes me feel Even lonelier today I feel completely empty, as if I’m empty
Kanpeki Gu~ no ne - Watarirouka Hashiritai
I'm at a loss for words, with this and that, I'm totally in love with you Someday, I want do the same to you: Watch you flounder, At a loss for words right back to me!
Side by Side - The8 from SEVENTEEN
I want to hold hands with you but I don't know what to do what to do oh baby I want to give all my heart to you but You still don't know what's in my heart
Hope - Namie Amuro
At the end of this blue, wide world there's a place I want to aim at with you We chose this long ago for eternity
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Xiao
Falling in love with Xiao is like living a bittersweet dream. The Vigilant Yaksha is far from human, or so he says, and thus is out of touch with the way we mortals experience feelings, both the negative and positive ones.
Your relationship with him is one of compassion, mutual understanding, appreciation and patience. So, so much patience. Of intertwined pinkies and soft stolen glances, of shy smiles and comfortable silence sometimes filled with your voice chatting time away and his short responses to your talks.
I mentioned patience. He knows you’re making an enormous effort to try and understand him and be patient with him and his slow learning process of how relationships work, so it’s only fair that he makes a true effort to understand you and your feelings.
Xiao is well aware that he could hurt you without wanting to, be it with his blunt phrasing of his thoughts or his Karmic Debt, as much as he is aware that you will eventually pass away and leave him behind to go somewhere he can’t follow, and that undeniable truth haunts him every second of every day he gets to spend with you. And still, he wishes and wants and does cherish each and every warm, kind feeling he gets every single second you’re together nonetheless.
“I might not know what to make of these new feelings you gave me. But I’ll learn. I promise I’ll learn, so please... don’t go, not yet. Let me treasure you and carve you into my memory for as long as I can.”
Songs:
Euphoria - BTS
I don't know what this emotion is Perhaps this is also the inside of a dream A dream is the blue mirage of the desert Deep inside of me, a priori I become happy to the point of being unable to breathe The surroundings, bit by bit, become clearer
Fallin’ Flower - SEVENTEEN
While flower blooms and falls, scars cure and buds shoot We are living our first and last moment So I won’t take you for granted Because you loved me as I am
Fear - SEVENTEEN
Get out my mind I can't handle it, I'm afraid of myself The truth has me tied up My heart is tainted I'm afraid it'll eventually change you too
The Truth Untold - BTS, Steve Aoki
It’s my fate Don’t smile to me Light on me Because I can’t get closer to you There’s no name you can call me
You know that I can’t Show you me Give you me I can’t show you a ruined part of myself Once again I put a mask on and go to see you But I still want you
Tiny Light - Akari Kitō
Because you colored my unchanging monochromatic days Even the blurred darkness gained meaning
Still, hidden in this heart, these feelings of preciousness so strong that they hurt I just want to convey these feelings to only you before they disappear someday
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Scaramouche
Falling in love with Scaramouche is like constantly playing a game. He’s strict, demanding, disagreeable, and widely disliked by enemies and allies alike. Still, he has a heart too; and he holds desires and hopes deep inside of it, although most of them are fueled by the unchanging curiosity he has towards the world around him, curiosity to know what he can get out of whatever the world wants to throw at him.
You were no exception to that rule, at first.
When he met you he wanted to get something from you. And you knew it from the start, just as he knew that you knew. And that didn’t change anything, at first.
Your relationship with him is one of dangerously playful, yet still light-hearted games of seduction, teasing and deceit; of secret kisses exchanged in expensive private rooms in restaurants or the cozy warmth of your home, of an unspoken shared respect and, most of all, complete, mutual devotion.
You know Scaramouche is not a good man. He has done many, many unspeakable things in his life as one of the Eleven, and he knows he’s far from being the perfect charming prince you could aim for, but he will never let you go. Because behind those hardened walls of egocentrism and pride, you saw what no one else bothered to see. You saw him, not the role he was playing, you saw him and fell in love with him.
“To be honest, I don’t think I could find anyone else who understands me as much as you do. And no, I’m not saying this because I want something, give me some more credit, geez...”
Songs:
soldier game -  µ’s
You'll come with me, yes? You've grown curious about my touch, yes? Then it's already love Since you're someone I must meet in battle someday, That might just be your reason It's soldier game Though we've met again, I'm soldier heart
Kowareyasuki - Guilty Kiss
Just stop it already and show your heart only to me I love your eyes that are about to cry And your defenseless, clumsy way of living too (...) The hesitation you convey makes my chest hurt Some people just don't know what such kindness is But then I discover the truth When we got together, you don't have to endure anymore Right now, show your grief only to me I like that you think too much The complete opposite of me
Shhh - SEVENTEEN
Don't think of all these as your mere illusion They're not lies that follow the moment No one can underestimate it, my feelings are an ignition 'Cause I'm always the same Me and you, we got hurt by the lies that we won't ever work But it's fate
(...)
So I can cover you from danger A consented dedication
(...)
It's as natural as breathing An everlasting dedication
Good to me - SEVENTEEN
Yeah, when you were making that sign in my heart It was a long time since my firewall broke down Pass with the password What in the world do you know about me? Are my deep feelings seen by you?
Hiraishin - Keyakizaka46
(To trust is to be betrayed, to open one’s heart is to get hurt So to avoid being struck by lightning-like sorrow…)
Which side am I picking? Ah, these values are hard to handle That’s why I won’t stop watching over you Positive positive positive You should just be yourself… I can forgive whatever absurdities you pull off I’ll support you without being noticed Even when you get nitpicked I’ll be your companion Let us now promise to live an unremarkable life hereafter What we have here is the lightning rod of love
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Albedo
Falling in love with Albedo is a fairy tale-like experience for both of you. His attention had always been focused on his research, everything else fading into the background save for a few exceptions, until you came around. You, who stole all his attention by just existing. 
As an alchemist, he’s naturally the curious type. He wanted to know what about it had caught his attention, what was so special about you that had him clinging to your every word and movement every time you interacted with him. Still, human relationships are hard for him, and he figured you might go away the second he started to feel burnt out from your interactions. But you didn’t. Instead, you stayed. You stayed and took interest on what he did, asked questions, gave your insight, and dragged him to sleep when he needed a break. In exchange, he did the same for you.
Your relationship with Albedo is like one of those awkwardly sweet first time crushes. Of carefully calculated movements, dates and compliments, of soft kisses on lips, hands and cheeks, of mutual support, understanding and mature compromising and commitment.
The Kreideprinz, like everyone else, has his own fears and insecurities, especially regarding his... nature, but he does his best not to let them affect the relationship he has with you. Each moment spent by your side, even when he’s not actively doing any research, is considered perfectly spent, meaningful time.
“A long time ago, I was tasked with finding out the meaning of this world. Though I have directed my efforts and resources to looking for the answer through alchemy, ever since we met I... think, I’ve found an unexpected conclusion to said issue. While it’s likely that this is not the answer expected from me, I’m positive that, at least personally, I finally have the answer.”
Songs:
Futari Saison - Keyakizaka46
In the wind blowing through the city’s streets, even though I caught whiff of something’s scent, I had no interest in looking back
In a 1m radius around me, I formed an invisible barrier to another world And yet, you took someone like me out of it
What made you do that?
Home - SEVENTEEN
What can I do? Without you I’m just an old robot, my heart stops and it’s always cold What can we do? Without me You’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?
Baby, I want to cherish our warmth So no one can come between us
Flower - SEVENTEEN
You taught me, you showed me You’re my only reason If you can forever remember me I can get hurt, I can get hurt
My heart that’s engraved with your light Makes me stronger Give me your sharp thorns Cause you’re my flower
Oh my! - SEVENTEEN
Sorry for repeating the same thing But this is all I can try using hard words But my true feeling is this, every everything
(...)
How about you? Is it hard for you to sleep because of me too? If you keep making my heart flutter What do I do?
Naze koi wo shite konakattan darou? - Sakurazaka46
Why hadn't I fallen in love? I've been making fun of it all this time I mean everyone keeps saying 'I love you' just like cats in heat But after falling in love I realized what people live for To meet, to love, to the point of nothing but... I'm not myself, I want to find my true self.
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lilypixels · 3 years
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Izzy’s Dag-Dag The Artist… Tag
By @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy
~ Rules ~
Show us a rendition of yourself in your own art! Can be anything! Sims render? Random stick figure? Picrew? Go nuts! (Just be sure to tag the artist if you use someone else’s picrew!!!!) Tag the blogs you want to know, and don’t be a dick that’s it! Also, feel free to answer as vague or in-depth as you want. And if you don’t want to answer a question for any reason just don’t vibe with it! Skip it if you wanna! Also make sure you tag me and use #dagdagtheartisttag so I can see it!!!!!!!!
This is a bit long so i’m just gonna...
~Questions~
1.) Do you prefer to be referred to by your name or blog name? Both are fine! I don’t care much about what people refer to me as in general and have had someone on here call me lily once
2.) Where are you from? I won’t say exact, but I live in the middle of USA (I can’t wait to move-)
3.) Do you have pets? 👀 Yes! 3 dogs and 2 cats, tho only one cat is truly “mine”
4.) Tell us about your “dream”. uhh like where I want to be in life? what I want to do? um I’m still working on the exact job title, but I wish to do research at a natural history/science museum (sorta like archives or collections manager, but neither of those are quite right i think). Otherwise, I just hope to adopt and even foster kids cause my life would not be complete without little ones :3 (spouse/partner optional lol) 
5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies? Randomly researching things that grasp my attention, games...lots of games, reading, watching tv, coloring (wait does that count as art-), uhhh spacing out
6. )Does anyone irl know about your blog? yeah, but mostly just know about, not like see my posts i guess
7.)Do you know anyone from your blog irl? not outside of just chatting on discord
8.) What are some fun facts about you? I’ve had some poems published before (it was with entering a poetry contest), I have surprisingly good balance, my brain is not properly awake/functioning until 10am which has led to me almost using soap as toothpaste a few times too many, I have a birthmark on my finger (bonus: it sorta changes color/how noticeable it is depending on how hot or cold I am lol, i call it a mini thermometer cause of this), apparently Lion King was my Disney movie obsession as a kid...oh and I have a certificate in cryptozoology lolz
9.) What’s your day job? i work as a private nanny/glorified babysitter (i don’t live with them or drive but work regular hours through week and as needed; even join the occasional vacation with them)
10.) Do you have a celebrity look alike? i don’t think so; a girl in high school once said I look like Cameron Diaz tho-
11.) What’s your aesthetic? for my blog I think it’s becoming like dark academia meets cottage core?? idk for myself...who knows
12.) What kind of artist are you? the tired kind lol
13.) How did you get into your form of art? if we’re looking at sims, uhhh well I just happened to learn about cc one day, then happened upon simblr, saw edits, and thought I’d give a try cause I can’t draw but I need a creative outlet so this worked for me
14.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create? if I do anything, its listen to music; music is generally random based on what I feel like but more recently its been 2d anime groups (idolish7, hypnosis mic, etc)
15.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far?  lets see...this, this, and this edit wise I think
16.) How would you describe your art style? idk chaos
17.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining? coloring, I like coloring 
18.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?
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19.) What character from any media form do you most identify with? oh gosh uhhhh there’s a few but I’ll say Iori and Sogo from Idolish7 since they come to mind first lol. Iori is a fellow aquarius who hides his interests and agonizes over past slipups even a year later, others have legit moved on but he’s still stuck on it (that was true moment I was like “omg you are aquarius” lol cause yeah meee). Sogo i heavily relate to as well cause he’s,,,very nice and hides his own feelings, putting others before himself (but when right buttons get pushed, he can be scary lol) so yeah, those two
20.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to? I’ve never thought of this...no clue
21.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names? I have changed names, yes; I used to be silverine-sims but after a time i didn’t ~vibe~ with it
22.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose?  page songs like adding playlist to blog? i mean its possible already with bit of coding and I used to have one set up but uh one song huh? gosh um I guess Twisted Hearts by tasuku hatanaka; it was op for Moriarty the Patriot s2 and I’m pretty obsessed with it rn 
23.) Oh yeah, I’m still on the MySpace train and I’m starting discourse! Who’s your top 8? my brain refuses to think and rank; i have trouble with choices and that extends to favorites,,
24.) Did you understand those references or did you have to look them up? (I’m fully aware I’m ancient, but are you?) i know of myspace but otherwise i have no clue what all it entailed
25.) One last question; why are you like that? I grew up watching Secret Saturdays, He-Man, Teen Titans, Danny Phantom, and Spongebob idk what to tell ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dag dag?
Now tag tag!!!
I know not all of you will do this or was tagged by izzy already but I’m tagging everyone I can think of anyway-
@cyansimblr @neriney @lunchsims @waysims @klayde @sinfulwunders @void-imp @ladykendalsims @lazysunjade @almost-spring @smolteabirb @lunaziie @clumsyghostie​ and uh uh anyone else cause its too early and my brain just quit
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danwylds · 4 years
Text
Right okay I never actually got myself to write this fic so have my notes for the fic except I haven’t read through them since June when I wrote them and I refuse to edit anything
Right is bakery au but not
Neil either turned down the offer of exy for the foxes or for coach whatever the fuck his name was
He got caught earlier tho which is . Unfortunate
Stuart still comes in
Maybe I’ll have him move back to Britain for a while? To avoid the moriyamas n stuff
He NEVER misses a match of the ravens/foxes tho
Which leads to him seeing the frankly sickening interview of Kevin and riko
Neil is like yo Stuart let me start smth
Stuart is like Neil the only reason you’d go back to the states right now is if you did smth that you could hide and you can’t do that for shit
So Neil is like yk what I’m gonna find a way bc I’m not letting this kid go through this (Andrews quite into this idea when it’s shared)
So he says yo. Stuart. Uncle. Sir. Let me open a bakery or something in the states
Stuart is like no you fucking idiot
And Neil is like but c o n s i d e r
You can get info or smth
Just have another business in the states yk
AND I’d get out of your hair
And Stuart is like hm okay but you’ve gotta live in a complex I choose for you
And Neil is all only if I can choose where it’s gonna be
It’s a deal
He (very obviously) chooses a place near palmetto
Stuart is tired but is like he’ll be under protection n shit so I guess??? And he’s not stupid enough to start something right. Right.
Wrong.
Anyways.
It’s a bakery that starts out kinda slow
But Neil finds he likes baking and Stuart pays for his nephew to have some sort of normal life so it doesn’t matter too much
Renee starts to frequent it
At first it’s to pick up sweets for Andrew
But eventually she starts bringing Allison on dates there bc they have a cute little seating area (figure where Seth fits in? I think he’ll survive?)
Uhhh what’s a timeline
I think this’ll be around the winter holidays (Jewish neil? Look into it)
So thanksgiving will have happened . I think Andrew agreed to go Not bc he particularly wanted to but bc he cares for Nicky and knows he’ll probably go anyways
Yeah so thanksgiving. h
Andrew JUST got off his drugs and he’s so damn protective of his own that he hardly even leaves their sides
Edens is a def no for em
Meanwhile Neil is tentative friends w Renee who has brought all the upperclassmen there a few times
Allison bullies him for his clothing but it’s okay he deserves it
Renee is sweet and stops em from doing anything too drastic which Neil appreciates
Matt,, my baby,, he’s so happy he just asks Neil about random stuff
Dan is sweet too!!
Seth kinda hates him but Neil hasn’t paid enough attention to return the favor
One day close to the winter banquet the upperclassmen are like yeah Neil we’re gonna go to this thing and it should be really fun!! Oh you know what? Our teammate Nicky needs a date and his cousin doesn’t really like anyone from his class and he’s super fucking crazy abt it so if that doesn’t deter you then you should totally join !
Neil is like oh chance to fuck up Riko? Absolutely I’ll go
ALLISON DRESSES HIM
HE LOOKS SO GOOD
when he and Allison emerge from the girls room Aaron is like Who is that
And Allison is “oh nickys date (:”
Andrew gets twitchy and holds a knife to her throat
Renee is like Andrew I stg get away from my gf and Seth is like manic pixie nightmare fuel I’m gonna beat the shit outta you
And Neil is just like same shit every day I guess
And he’s like so you’re Nicky then? COMPLETELY IGNORING YK. ALL THAT
Andrew is like “he is. Don’t touch him”
And Neil straight up says I don’t think you get to set boundaries for people, actually
And Neil has no idea what the effect is of that on Andrew but it’s enough to make him glare
Which is terrifying to everyone but Neil bc again. Dumbass
Anyways Neil very purposely hooks his arm through nickys and they head off to the bus
Dunno what happens there but I’ll figure it out
RIKOOO ROASTTT **AIRHORNNNNSSS**
It’s glorious
Kevin and riko are like who the FUCK are you
And Neil is all wouldn’t you like to know weather boy
They relocate and they’re all like . Ah. That’s why you and Renee get along
It’s kinda funny ngl
Andrew doesn’t think so but fuck him
I think that they head back to the bus when this shit I’d over and wymack is like excuse me what the fuck
And Aaron in german is like thank god he never joined the team bc I could not handle more of that
And Neil in German is like would you believe me I’d I told you I was almost signed
And Andrew is like I fucking Knew it I hate it here
N e ways things go back to normal for the most part
The upperclassmen still show up
Seth has a bit of grudging respect for him
It’s later that all the foxes are getting drunk from a lose that Renee calls him and is like Neil please can I usher them inside for a bit I think they need a place to chill so we don’t get yelled at for being too loud in the dorms
And Neil is like uhh sure why not
It turns out it was not just the upperclassmen
He gives them all water bottles and whatever and lets them lounge around
Gives em some food which they pay for w the coachs card
Uhhh idk time passes and some of the foxes pass out so neil is like y’all can chill in the break room? They have couches
He stays out there bc the bakery is still open
Andrew comes out like hey fuck you but also can I get more of those pastries
Idk I want them to be in love already
Uhh yeah I think they don’t say anything until
“what happened to your face”
“A truth for a truth?”
“If you must insist”
“Fine, my father tried to kill me”
Andrew raises his eyebrow but neils like bitch you said a truth for a truth it’s your turn now
Neil asks him why he wears arm bands
We get the whole knives and scars
They’re quiet again
I don’t know man let them be in love
Uhhh okay
I think Andrew will tell neil like
“[code]”
“Huh”
“That’s the code for the court, Kevin practices at night.”
Neil is like how would you know I’d enjoy playing exy? And andrew is like dipshit that’s how we met
I’m running out of ideas oh no
Maybe they play a couple of night game things
Exchange a few more truths
OHHH OKAY COOL SO THEN NEIL CAN GO TO EDENS W THEM THE WHOLE “DOESNT MEAN I WOULDNT BLOW YOU” THING CAN STILL HAPPEN
sick okay! They start dating but since Baltimore happened earlier they never actually come out to the rest of the team
I like to think when they play against the ravens again neils like haha babe you can have as many sweets as you want if you shut down the goal
Also Neil says it’s hot which is like a big thing to persuade Andrew but shhhhh
Yeah the foxes win they celebrate by getting drunk and they all show up at neils like hello again (:
Same thing happens but this time andrew and Neil are together and basically are doing nothing but making out
At least the store is closed
Nicky comes out and just YELLS
YALLLLLL COME LOOK @ THIS SHIT
Allison wins SO much money
Yeah idk how to end this but happily ever after :3
If you want me to turn this into a fic I will!
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meandmyechoes · 3 years
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The more I think about Dark Disciple, the more I find something odd.
[28th March 17:46]
I keep referring to it as a ‘favourable experience’, and there is no question the writing is what made me fall totally head over heels about quintress, but I also just, can’t?
I mean, yes. It’s very passionate, dramatic, scenes and gestures I can only dream of. But I also, don’t really see it in that ’omg they totally belong together here are my sixty headcanons of them’ sense?
I am very involved in the pairing, but also don’t really, actively ‘ship’ it — like the way it was an open book with Rhayme or Latts Razzi (since it’s the same author that indoctrinated me to Captain Rhayme). I could imagine them being happily ever after and silly shenanigans and slow-burn. But the concept of a quintress fairytale ending is so wild. I can only ask how much it is tainted with my personal view on relationships.
I know the plot leaves little room for “the future” and fed us well on all tropes possible. But, it just never occurred to me to put them in any other clichés or invent a missing scene.
Winding up, I don’t think their relationship is "weak", but it’s very motivated by circumstances and once you take that out of them, you are a little bit lost. For example even during the illicit affairs month, I… can’t really propose one date that does not seem tonally insensitive. (I can think of them being cloak dorks and Vos bringing her to ice-cream, that’s it, after a long hard moment) Really, all I possibly want is that sweet, sweet angst and canon is already there so I have no complaint.
It’s just… I don’t really get why it has to be the two of them that fall for each other. I understand why they did, and I believe it— Perhaps it’s much more a physical attraction thing that I don’t really have personal experience with.
I don’t know if quintress classify as slow-burn because 10 chapters still seem a little quick in the grand scheme of things. (aside: I’m quite disappointed Ventress wasn’t doing much in the last quarter of the book.) My point is, they do feel a little bit puppet to tropes, and while it’s deliciously written, there’s not much potential outside of canon. And that lack of inspiration makes me grimace a little.
[3rd April, 01:39]
I’ve scrolled through the dd tag and let the book sank a little. I am better articulated to talk about the sexist criticism now.
It’s a romance story, and when I judge it by that (lower) standard, it ticks the boxes. However, it might be a weakness as well, due to the projectability of the heroes. And yes, the whole assassination is dumb. Yet, tcw has been consistently this dumb at us. The last two times when she’s more rooted in the dark she failed, sent Savage and failed, so she’s gonna do it again with Vos… after she put down her desire for revenge. right. and surprise! Our “assassination” plan is to find Dooku and duel him directly. right…
I’ve read a review that says the romance takes away from the plot. However, the romance IS the plot. The book IS supposed to revolve around the two of them. I do agree them becoming begrudging allies then partners is a more unique approach, more rewarding as foils as well. but I guess a romance is easier for the conventional to process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
With the “Ventress lose agency in falling for Vos”. Now, I can’t dictate how each of us buy into their physical attraction and chemistry (or lack thereof), and there’s no denial that a conscious human being is making that choice for the fictional character, I think the stance on this topic varied person to person from the above two factors, which are very different starting points.
I kept Katie Lucas’s foreword vividly in mind while reading. She said this is a story about people seizing chances to rebuild. That there’s always a choice. Cliché as it is, I believe ~the power of love~. I believe there exists someone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for, to overlook everything for, to forgive - to love them, warts and all. So, yes whether you think Ventress loses her agency to the romance, or if that’s a conscious choice on her behalf, is swayed heavily by how much you buy that they are the one.
[10th April, 10:30]
Yesterday I’ve been thinking a bit more about this. I do love this ship, I just don’t believe they’d be two people who find each other again and again in every life time, in every universe. That’s why, as magnificent as fireworks, it also won’t last.
To explore this, it’s not entire impossible for quintress to separate peacefully after this incident, but would that cheapen the build before? The entire motivation of dark!Quinlan hinges on his vision of their future. And say, Ventress did saved him and survived. How would he balance being a Jedi and his feelings - that’s publicly exposed to the Council? (sidenote: i really don’t like Ch. 27 where a bunch of old men are questioning their love life, but uhhh yes, I’m a sensible person!) For now, I’m seeing another Obi-Satine situation. And honestly how bad that an outcome is. It’s not like Ventress died for her war crimes! The show gave her a full pardon! So Idk man. Why can’t she leave him because she loves him and she exiled herself and they never see each other again WHY NOT FILONI WHY NOT.
Now I’m lamenting more what could’ve been with the two arcs. In Filoni’s original sketch, Aayla and Maul were involved. Man, that could’ve been the dream.
~~~
Part 2: [26th April, 15:15]
It has been… a month, since I finished Dark Disciple and I feel like it’s time to conclude all the thinking this book has made me do.
On the wider reflection about attachment and the Jedi Order, I still have to do more reading on it from other sources to form a concrete opinion. This theme won’t be touched on in this post yet, but I cannot shake how intriguing it is to compare “falling” in love to falling to the dark side. The temptation, and the submission to their emotions, the irrationality, the newfound curiosity, it all incites. Very curiously, it was Anakin Skywalker who commented that one is “blinded by love”
Okay, so what I’ve been scratching my head off the past two weeks is how I look at the romance between Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos. How would I define it?
Now this is as much as an exploration of how I view romantic relationships. Well, I’ve decided it wasn’t “love”, it was an “affair”. It was an affair because it’s a rush of passion, it’s a secret, it won’t last. Before I chop my own head off for bluntness, I mean it in, of course they are hopelessly in love with each other, that’s the exact premise of why it moved me so. But it wasn’t a complete relationship, wasn’t a healthy, sustainable one by any objective standards. Then, that’s the exact contradiction. Oh to throw caution in the wind with you, or to build a future with you?
Both are things I want a lot, and the ideal is of course one after the other. What quintress had (in the end) is definitely not something I’d want for myself, but it’s so fantastical, it’s alluring, just like the concept of falling in love - opening up yourself and trusting another person, is - it’s risky. That’s why it’s a sweet, sweet drug.
I’ve been so angry at all the red flags in this relationship. Reading this book, getting into both of their shoes, yelling NO like their best friends. But ultimately, what they had is unique to them and I can’t influence it in any way. Re-reading, I find myself holding myself back at all the places I was furious about going ‘You are smarter than this!’. Because it’s a tragedy, and the beautiful (I guess) thing is they chose each other.
The other day something on the dash inspired me to really think about ship dynamics. I, unashamedly admit, I’m VERY into Obi/Quin/Ventress in any and all combinations. *cough* I will not explain further.
I do accept the premise and I did discover they share quite a bunch of traits, but it confused me a while what made them cross the boundary, and it was, physical attraction (that the book was selling so hard I was blushing hot). I love them both a lot, and I would like to date them both, and I can see myself in either of them. Again comes the contradiction, is it a good thing to have characters so easily projectable, or do I want to see myself in more complex characters like them?
I probably lost quite a few cars stalling this train of thought. And I've been a canon apologist since forever. This book brought me a lot of emotional upheavals and a lot of food for thought. It brought me down to reflect on my romantic worldview and sexuality because I have nothing better to do. It totally challenged me as a writer and it’s just a really good novel by its right, regardless of the absurdity that is The Clone Wars. It’s a lot of firsts for me. And I really should find something better to do.
[26th April 16:00]
I must address that I got spoiled of the ending and the first and second half of the book probably went through some big changes.
If I cried for this book, it’s score would be even higher. And I’ve been so obsessed with discussing the relationship, without shedding light on the characterization, which is definitely an unfortunate side effect. Then it occurs that quite possibly the second half (26-42) deviated even further from the script than the first? It doesn’t have concept art or blocking, plus possibly (heavily) edited to omit correlation to other arcs. My major complaint for the second half is Ventress doesn’t do much and we know NOTHING about Vos, even though he is given screen time in the book. my, I just wish Ventress punch him harder and drag his idiotic mess back to the light sooner.
And to criticism about it being their ‘toxic’ relationship being portrayed as ‘true love’, well, it really depends on how thoughtful the reader is, right? I think if the reader is able to notice all these red flags and gave their own interpretation of the relationship and its outcome, it’d’ve been an educating experience. There’s what for the reader and what for the characters. They don’t know this ‘love’ is destroying them, and what kind of message is it sending? What ‘love’ depicted in the book is true then? I have my answers, and I hope every reader comes to their own as well.
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highqueenofelfhame · 4 years
Text
acowar reread thread
so i think i’ll update this post every few chapters unless anything super major happens that i want to immediately react to, that way you get my commentary but i’m not totally flooding and flooding and flooding your feed with a super super long post. i think i’m going to edit it under the cut and reblog it every time it gets updated and i’ll also number every update so it’s easy to find where i left off. if you guys prefer the other way i’ll transition back to the other way for acofas.) this is super fun i’ll start doing this for more books if you’re interested, including books i read for the first time. (after acofas, crescent city is next and it’ll be my first time reading it!)
UPDATES UNDER THE CUT.
1) chapters 1-5 I’ve read up through chapter five and so far my favorite thing is just how DONE feyre is with literally everyone in the spring court. the amount of times she’s had to like look away and not roll her eyes is just hilarious, her dry inner monologue, she just made a comment about having to remind herself to laugh and not strangle tamlin while they were dancing at the summer solstice and it just is so funny to me. 
i miss rhys. but the few times they’ve spoken through the bond is enough to tide me over. he told her he loved her once and i sighed out loud. i’m such trash for this bitch. 
feyre hijacking the summer solstice ceremony is COMEDIC GOLD. like you kNOW ianthe was fuming and furious and trying to save face the best she could but like hats off to feyre man. her character development from book one to where we’re at in book three is fantastic. she’s not a simpering little girl anymore, she’s a bad bitch and she kNOWS she’s a bad bitch and it’s just.. fucking great. 
i also, as much as i don’t want to, feel for lucien A LOT. i think a lot of his behavior is heavily influenced by how he’s been treated by tamlin for most of his life and i feel genuine remorse from him and the fact that he can like tell something is up but isn’t saying anything just shows, to me anyway, how much remorse he’s genuinely feeling. 
also alis knowing that something is up is just a testament to how attentive she is as a faerie and a friend and i really love that about her.
“I was the nightmare” YAS BITCH. FUCKIN YAASSS.
2) chapters 6-10 feyre is so goddamn clever. the entire time she’s bringing down the spring court she’s witty and fierce and clever and really just iS THAT BITCH, HUH? 
i don’t like jurian but the fact that he still has compassion within himself for his kind despite being literally insane for being just AWAKE and aware for like 500 years is... nice and pleasantly surprising because i feel like you wouldn’t think that of him being that he’s siding with hybern so that he thanked feyre when she tried to get the children of the blessed out of there... i don’t know why i’m bringing this up, it’s just something that stuck out to me and that jurian also vouches (to feyre) about rhysand’s character and how decent of a person he found him to be. it’s just very interesting and i feel like speaks leaps and bounds about rhysand as a person. 
feyre pushing tamlin to explode again... just CHEF KISS. like she really thought of everything. she thought of everything to internally make his sentries doubt him and then completely hate them by orchestrating the ianthe vs sentry debacle. she made herself seem very compassionate and kind and and showed tamlin and ianthe for what they were by doing genuinely so little. like all she did was make them show their true colors on their own and it didn’t take tOO much manipulation. idk feyre is just incredible in the spring court. 
forcing ianthe to hurt herself and molding her mind to make her think she’s always afraid is so much better than just outright killing her.. (if i remember from my last read, it doesn’t hold up, but the thought is there and it’s genius) I also think that this shows a lot about feyre and her character because despite everything she couldn’t just leave lucien alone with ianthe and the unwanted advances. she stayed and fought for her friend (and by extension her mate) even when lucien wouldn’t really fight for her and so feyre is just a fuckin real one like... she’s the kind of friend that you want in your corner. 
killing the hybern twins: glorious. such badassery from lucien and feyre both. 
and i think it’s nice that she let lucien come along with her on her journey back to the night court despite maybe not wanting to but i also think that she knew if she left him behind he could get in serious trouble or wind up dead and so again, i think it says a lot about her character as a person. 
3) chapters 11-15 i’m kind of reading and recapping every 50 pages or so which typically ends up being 4-5 chapters and it’s a good system so far so we’re gonna keep it up! 
the first thing of like, real substance to comment on is lucien saying his father will kill feyre for wielding his power but feyre just responding with “he can get in line.” like her sass is sO GOOD In this book, especially in the spring court chapters.
uhhh big fuck you to eris, i don’t know why people want him to have a redemption arc, he is literally a fat sack of shit that deserves to burn and i’m not sorry for saying so. he’s abusive and cruel and doesn’t deserve like, anything at all. although i will say good on him for balking a bit when feyre revealed she’s high lady. 
CASSIAN AND AZRIEL SUPERHERO LANDING ON THE ICE AND KICKING ASS!! I remember vividly the relief i felt when cassian showed up and was able to fly and i still felt so much victory when it happened again. it’s one of my favorite moments of the book so far and just really gets me. also feyre just dropping the “I’m high lady of the night court” bomb is DELICIOUS and i can’t get enough. i read it like six times. because you know as soon as the illyrians yielded to her that the autumn bitches were like “shit.”
“My love.” kILLS ME. you guys, i’ve only read this book once but i’ve reread their reuniting multiple times because it’s just so soft. rhys is so goddamn soft. he loves her so fucking much. i want rhys to call me my love and lick my tears away. goddamn. 
something i think about a lot is how in acotar when tamlin had feyre alone after months of torture he just tried to fuck her despite knowing things weren’t safe. however, knowing she was home and safe, rhys didn’t try for that immediately. like yes, they kissed, but there was so much conversation before they fucked that it just, says a lot about their relationship. tamlin also always demanded to know everything about feyre’s visits as soon as she was back, not even bothering to kiss her hello but rhys was like ‘that shit can wait’ AND THEY’RE ABOUT TO GO TO WAR. rhys loves her so wholly that he wanted to make sure she was okay before he ever bothered to ask about the spring court and how everything unfolded the last few weeks. idk i’m trash for rhysand, y’all. let’s make that a shirt.
the way that rhys threatens lucien, “i won’t bother to explain it again, and i will rip out your fucking throat.” is so sexy. like how casual it was, so sexy.#ripmythroatoutrhysand
amren being a bedtime story but irl is just a cranky aunt lmao.
nesta’s ferocity is, yes, frustrating, but also so heartbreaking to me. for a very long time i had a really rough relationship with my sister and i can see my own sister in nesta (who, by the way, would murder me if she found out i said this so, kara, if u see this, i love u endlessly and i love nesta with my whole heart) especially nesta’s behavior more so in acofas which i’ll talk more about when we get there. but i just, i feel for her man. she’s been traumatized and life as she knows it has been ripped away from her and some people respond to trauma with bite. and i know it doesn’t make it right or okay but it still just makes me feel for her.
cassian and nesta’s banter just gODDAMMIT SLAYS ME. i cannot wait for an entire fucking book of this shit and an entire book of their back and forth. i think nesta loves him and doesn’t know what to do with it because she’s scared so she’s acting like a cornered animal. like nesta is a snake that will strike when cornered and threatened and i just god i can’t wait for their book. 
elain... broke my heart a lot more than i remembered. as someone in the midst of my worst depression i find myself able to relate to that hollow and empty feeling like...all too well and it struck a cord and i almost cried at how empty she was. 
4) chapters 16-29 there is the whole meeting at amren’s apartment and cassian defends nesta, saying that he understands her actions, her snark, why she is the way she is, and it just honestly reinforces my love for cassian. i don’t have much to say about it but that i just really love the respect that he has for others. more cassian things: feyre brings up again how even broken and literally bleeding out and on the ground with his wings completely shredded he was still crawling toward nesta and reaching for her and trying to get to her. “because i can’t stay away.” fucking cracks my heart open every time. 
i love everything about the first family dinner back together. i love all the banter, i love that nesta sat in and even contributed to dinner conversation a little bit. lucien being so uncertain of the dynamic is hilarious. amren like opening herself up in a way to nesta and telling her that they’re the same, and to make sure her eruption is felt across worlds, i love it. i’m marking a lot more from amren than i thought i would. cassian at one point, he points to az and says “don’t try to blend into the shadows” and it actually made me chuckle to myself because hE DOES THAT. and it’s funny that cassian calls him on it. 
i don’t think nesta gets enough credit (for like anything, we all been knew i’m a slut for her and stan her with my life) but even as broken and angry as she was she did still offer to help explore magic that she doesn’t want and got as a result of trauma so that she can try to help. she isn’t completely useless. and i like that she has backbone and isn’t just a pushover little bitch. (that isn’t directed toward elain. like i previously mentioned, i’m finding that i relate a lot to her in her current state.) i just mean that i’m glad she sticks up for herself and doesn’t just like, do what people tell her to do. ya know?
rhys being so open to feyre pushing back on him about things like, again man. tamlin erupted and got angry, rhys is like “hell, i deserved it.” just, the differences in their relationships and the toxicity that comes from tamlin and the devotion rhys has for feyre is (say it with me) DELICIOUS.
i also like that just because feyre is high lady that the IC doesn’t just like flop over and bend down and take shit (i’m looking at you, spring court.) like cassian isn’t afraid to be like “you pissed me off by sacrificing yourself.” because he cares. LIKE, AGAIN WITH HIS DEVOTION. his loyalty is just so pure. it isn’t blind but it is pure and i just, god i love it. 
also everyone forgets that azriel has a dry ass sense of humor and i don’t see any of y’all writing it into your fics. “In order to fly, you’ll need wings” he said drily. IT’S DELICIOUS. dry humor is some of the best. and i like that feyre is learning more and getting to spend more time with him. 
5) chapter 20-27 this one will be a bit of a dump because i accidentally read too much today so far to try to catch up from my lack of reading yesterday so... oops. 
“Let’s see what names you call me when my head is between your legs, Feyre darling.” ugh. i wish a mans would say that to me. not really. i wish rhys would say that to me and only rhys. maybe rowan. or aaron warner. or cassian. or -- you get it. 
amren is SO FUCKING FUNNY without doing it on purpose. like genuinely hilarious. “she’s fine. stubborn as an ass, but as you’re related, i’m not surprised.” rOAST THEM. also amren makes nesta almost smile and she makes her laugh all in the span of like ten seconds AND nesta almost smiles when amren brings up cassian. coincidencE? i tHINK NOT.
again with rhys soothing her nightmares. like god it’s so good i dont even have to say anything else abt it.
feyre realizing that the bone carver is her and rhysand’s son. SO GOOD. like SERIOUSLY SO GOOD. and this doesn’t matter at all rn but i think that rhysand’s son has the potential to be more powerful than even him but that’s a thing to get into for another time.
EVERYTHING THE BONE CARVER SAYS ABOUT NESTA. also that it’s directed at cassian is very interesting and i think the bone carver knows they’re mates. like i wonder if cassian is seeing what feyre sees: his own son. WOULDN’T THAT BE INTERESTING. “How she calls to you.” also the comment about “what did you wake that day in hybern, prince of bastards?” what did cassian wake. the wording here is interesting and i have... a lot of questions. does anyone else just also really fucking enjoy the bone carver as a character? like he’s excellent i’ve never read anything quite like him.
“nothing about nesta could frighten me” UGH MY NESSIAN HEART CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT.
also cassian stepping it later when nesta is furious with rhysand about the flying. like, one when he sighs and says she’ll never fly again is just... funny and adorable but how nesta was charging for rhys and he casually stepped in front of her and he talked her down. “It was amren’s fault, of course, but no one believed me. and no on dare banish her.” like just babbling a bit to bring her back down to earth. absolutely fascinating and delicious that it worked, wouldn’t you agree? ;)
court of nightmares is always a pleasure. fuck eris. 
also later at the town house when amren and mor and rhys are kinda going at it a bit and cassian gets nesta’s attention and nesta sidles over to him without questioning it... like. god if they aren’t endgame i’ll never read an SJM book ever again and i wholeheartedly mean that.
so i’ve seen the posts about amren being an angel i’m not sure if you guys have but yeah i think that’s a really solid theory. i think she very well could be a biblical angel because she mentioned that according to some they were perfect, that they laid waste to twin cities (sodom & gamorrah if this theory is correct) and she also mentioned yielding her grace and that she would fall. she also says she was a messenger and soldier assassin for a wrathful god ruling a young world and all of that, in my opinion, lines up with a lot of what is in the bible and what christians believe to be true. so i really really like this theory, i doubt it will ever be outright confirmed, but i think this is going to be my canon tbh. 
elain is.... out of her mind. it’s fucking weird everything she says is so cryptic and odd. like it’s just weird. i don’t think she’s insane and i can’t remember exactly where elain’s storyline goes in this book but like... rn it’s just weird and cryptic and a little unsettling and also interesting that she only really responds directly to azriel because everyone else she kinda ignores but she talks to him. interesting. 
6) chapters 28-49 clearly i accidentally read A LOT so we have a lOT Of ground to cover. 
NESTA WAS TOTALLY CHECKING CASSIAN OUT AND THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.
azriel has fucking jokes, man. page 303 (hardcover us edition)  “That pine tree wasn’t there a moment ago.” “Judging by its size, i’d say it’s been there for ... two hundred years at least.” feyre even notes that he has a dry sense of humor and it comes out more when they’re alone. i can’t get enough of it. i wish he talked more. 
“Cassian finished the muffin, licking his fingers. I could have sworn nesta watched the entire thing with a sidelong glance. He grinned at her as if he knew it too.” i just love nessian so much i’m going to point out all of their cute reactions this is turning more into a nessian reaction thread SUE ME.
I think that nesta has a lot of regret and guilt over her life.over how she treated feyre because it comes out when nesta brings up to feyre that she didn’t know she couldn’t read (and again at the high lords meeting when she says they would have starved if it wasn’t for her.) i think she feels deeply and just doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t know how to express it. 
When they almost get taken in the library, and cassian gets there and nesta “launches herself at him.” my heart. she was scared and she didn’t care she was just so relieved. like fuck me up that’s the shit i like.
nesta asking where cassian is the moment they get back from the battle in adriata and she was worried and scared for him. later when she does see him i think this is when the mating bond clicks into place. it’s page 398 and she says “You didn’t come to -” and then cuts herself off. they have a really fucking intense moment. cassian takes her hand and laces their fingers and they don’t really say anything for a beat until he says “Next time, emissary, i’ll come say hello.” but his voice is low and rough when he says it. “The world seemed to go utterly still at that interrupted sentence, nothing and no one more so than cassian.” i think this is when it clicks for him. maybe not for nesta but definitely for cassian. 
RHYSAND RIPPING TAMLIN’S ABILITY TO SPEAK AWAY LIKE YES WE STAN A MOTHERFUCKING KING. fuck tamlin. fuck eris. and fuck beron. also nesta defending cassian in the high lords meeting (page 438, because beron calls him a bastard.) again, i’m just saying, she’s defending her fucking mate i can’t deal. feyre also exploding in the meeting and rhys just being like “You’ve proved your point, my love.” SO DELICIOUS. “I made her high lady because i love her. her power was the last thing i considered.” like fucking hELL that is how you treat your woman.
after the meeting, helion being like “You handing eris’s ass to him will be my new fantasy at night, by the way.” DELICIOUS. fucking hilarious. 10/10 recommend helion as a high lord and a mans we love to see it. 
also cassian being so concerned when nesta starts to have that feeling about the cauldron being used before the wall gets shattered.he didn’t doubt her feelings for a second, i mean no one did, but he was completely unyielding when he sensed her fear and immediately looked for any sign of an immediate threat.
nesta saying she’s never worn pants and cassian saying “i have no doubt you’d start a riot if you did.” he’s thinking bout that ass. also cassian giving her a quick lesson in defense before they yeet off to the human lands to see graysen and his family. IDK I REALLY LOVE NESSIAN OKAY?!
7) chapter 50-the end. i accidentally finished the book. oops. 
super intersted in nesta’s powers and if she is a witch. i can’t remember acofas at all and if nesta’s powers manifest in that book but i’m eager to see if the fracturing of the cauldron didn’t effect whatever powers she took from it. i think that could also be part of what ultimately is wrong with her on top of all the trauma. 
nesta helping cassian after that first battle when his wrist is hurt. she didn’t take no for an answer and helped him and it was just really soft until mor showed up and cassian pulled his hand away. i’m conflicted about what it means to be totally honest. what it means for his feelings for nesta and what it means where mor is concerned. i don’t love how morrigan treats nesta and cassian’s... relationship? but i don’t dislike mor. i think she’s dealing and coping and has her reasons that we will likely find out about. 
“Only you can decide what breaks you” is something i’d like to get tattooed. i dont really have anything else to add to it. 
i was sobbing during rhys’s battle speech to everyone. i dont rlly have anything else to say about it other than i’m emo. 
nesta saving cassian. again i don’t have shit to say about it other than like it makes me so emotional.  she just started blinding screaming, hoping that he would come. i can’t even begin to think what his death would have done to her.
the bone carver smiling at feyre before he did hits a very specific piece of my heart and i’m not sure why or what but i had chills all over my body. 
cassian telling rhys to let him return the favor/repay the debt. HURT. another thing i cried over. like shut the fuck cassian AIN’T NOBODY DYIN TODAY. 
tHE Nessian moment to end all nessian moments when they would die together. like big fucking wow. you can’t tell me they’re not mates. that they don’t love each other despite how complicated all of it is. like cassian is so soft in the most unique way for her because he knows she bites and he lets her and he bites back and i just think it’s what he needs.
“tell the high lord to leave out a cup for me” AMREN SHUT UP. like fucking christ i teared up then too because i really really love her character. she’s unique and funny and dry and cranky and i just love her so much. 
i’m tired of rhys sacrificing himself. there, i said it. i cried like a fucking baby and of course he woke up being a snarky little shit.
i love the end of this book. i don’t know what i’ll do with myself until january when the next one comes out. i’ll probably go back to the other format for my next read through because it’s easier and less longwinded and i think you guys liked the other way better. anywho, thank you for coming along on this lil journey!!
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selfcareparker · 3 years
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okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!
also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)
the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓
you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(
now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol
OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY
PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha
LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ
now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)
(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓
me reading this:
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also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺
i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg
yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao
and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰
Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs
I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it
GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG
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^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film
I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)
47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)
oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀
and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)
++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌
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melyaliz · 3 years
Text
Remember me pt. 7
Master List
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x OC
Notes: I have been having a ton of My Hero Academia ideas which is so annoying because... I just don’t have time to write them. But I may try to do a few shorts? Idk no promises.  
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“I need an insult for this character to call the other character,” Olive said looking up from her position on the floor where she was typing away editing the Alien romance she was working on. Eliott was playing some sports video game.
“A cum milkshake,” he said without missing a beat
“What?” Olive let out a slightly shocked laugh.
“You heard me.”
Olive fake gagged rolling her eyes as Eliott burst out laughing “See? It’s perfect, I don’t know any context but I’m sure it’ll fit into any story.”
“You nasty” Olive chuckled going back to her story. “I’ll keep my story questions to only guns, Metal bands, and sports.”
They both lapsed into silence again Olive moving from the floor to the couch continuing to mold her story. The bones were already there; she just needed to add the meat. Like creative insults. Eliott got up moving to their kitchen. A few moments later he reappeared with a glass of something.
“Oh speaking of Cum milkshakes.” Eliott shickered holding out the glass, “Try this.” he held out his beer stein which had what looked like a foamy orange juice.
“Oh fuck what is that?” Olive said, taking a sip without question. Regardless of his off-color jokes she always trusted Eliott with his food and drink concoctions.
“It’s a beer-mosa with that white that Joe gave us.”
“It’s amazing when did you think this up?”
“Right now.”
Reaching down Eliott tried to take the drink from Olive only to have her slowly pull away from him looking up as she took both hands to grip the cup frowning at him.
“Did you want me to make you your own?” he asked chuckling  
“Oh, this one isn’t mine?”
“No, I’ll make you one.”
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Bakugou has said he would be coming home late that night. Thus Olive had hunkered down with Dolemite to read her stories. Turns out she actually owned hard copies of the books on a shelf next to her desk.  So after finding a blanket she had made herself a nest to dive into her works.
Dragon’s Dick turned out to be officially named “On Dragon’s Wings” about the ups and downs of dating a dragon shifter. Two hours later she was live texting Lilly bits of the story laughing at her work and getting so exciting trying to guess the ending. Lilly was getting a kick out of it texting her back with crazy theories even though she knew just how things turned out.
Olive was in it deep which was why she felt like she was waking from a dream when the door opened to her apartment. Dolemite letting out a soft meow before walking up to greet the blonde.
Her husband.
She could hear him curse at the cut along with a string of low words she assumed were in Japanese. It made her chuckle as she was sure the clingy cat almost tipped him on his way in. The fluffy cat had a way of getting right under your feet when you didn’t pay attention to him.
A  moment later Katsuki came into the living room his dark red eyes searching for her slightly desperately only to relax when his gaze fell on her curled up in her fluffy blanket. She smiled up at him, eyebright body much more relaxed than they had been.
“Welcome home.”
“How’s it going?” he grunted nodding toward the book in her hand,
“I’m actually good! And like… it’s like reading all my ideas but finished!”
“Well that’s because they are,” he said sitting down next to her.
“I see so many things etched in these too… and some things I think are… maybe you?”
“Huh?” that took him by surprise.
“I don’t know,” she mumbled, flipping through a few pages trying to find the part. “It’s just so specific and I know it’s not something that.. Uhhh”
“Eliott would do.”
“Yeah”
“What is it?”
“I’m trying to… oh here it is.”
Brock leaned forward to light the fireworks “You light up my world” Cami said giggling at her own stupid joke.
“God you're stupid.” he chuckled his golden eyes flickering toward her as he, without looking lit up the firework. It sparked and flew up into the sky exploding into a million colors raining down on them. He was showing off now. Cocky smile on his face. “
Bakugou frowned, he had honestly never read her books. She had never asked him too so he just never had. But he now had a strong desire to pour over each text to see just what she thought of him. “You then tried to light one and almost set yourself on fire.”
“That’s in here too.” she laughed her thumbs going over the pages. “When did we start dating? This book says it was published about 3 and a half years ago.”
“Almost 4 years ago, we have been married for almost 2.”
“So we would have been together during at least some of this. That would make sense. Since there is a bit of a shift in tone from the first few chapters and the last ones. In fact this book in general is a bit different from my other ones that I do remember.”
“Oh?” Now he was really curious.  
“Before my stuff was more… funny. Offbeat and silly. And this one is a lot like that, maybe a bit darker humor and then it kind of shifts to…” she paused holding the book in her hands, “almost tender.”
“Tender?” something about that made his heart heavy. Tender. He wasn’t sure he would call their relationship tender. Fiery sure. Passionate yes. But Tender?
Bakugou wasn’t a tender guy.  
But thinking back to those first few months. Late nights texting. Video chatting. Her just smiling at him while he spent an hour explaining moves he was working on. Venting about work or just life. That one time she made him watch Miami Connection with her when she came to Japan and her laughing so hard she was in tears while he screamed at her asking why she would put him through something like that.
He didn’t think of those moments as tender but she did.
All those times he could catch her just smiling at him. Just sitting there watching him do whatever it was he was doing with this look that he couldn’t describe. At first, he used to get mad, thinking she was laughing at him feeling insecure about her gaze. But whenever he confronted her about it she would just shrug and go “I just like you.”
Then one day it was just normal. To see her catch his eye and just give him that soft smile. Like he was the greatest thing that had ever lived.
Looking back at it now was like seeing it in a different shade of color. Something about that seemed so strange to him. As if he was looking at this from an outsider. Looking in on someone else’s relationship.
“Hey Katsuki” her voice was soft and he was taken out of his musings. He turned studying her feeling that deep sadness that came from knowing that you may have lost something forever. All that history they had built together. A fear that maybe she wouldn’t like him anymore. She would want what she used to have so much more. That those looks she used to give him were gone forever. “I want to go to therapy.”
“What?” of all the things he thought she would say he wasn’t expecting that. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Didn't want to. As if he so much as made a sudden movement this moment would disappear too.
“Is there some way I could do that? Maybe I could find a way to jog my memories. I just… I hate this.” she studied his face, both of them trying to read the other trying to find what they had lost. “I want to remember you.”
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The next few weeks were weird ones. Bakugou would take a random day off here and there and even come home early or leave late. Just to make sure she felt comfortable in her environment. Help her find some sort of routine so she could do things without him needing to help her. While she always told him she could figure it out it was partly for him. He just wanted to make sure she was safe.
She started going to a therapist about twice a week and some things seemed to be coming back.
Mostly her Japanese.
Which made sense since she had been studying it for around a year before Eliott’s death. So Bakugou wasn’t sure if that was coming back because he was starting to talk to her in Japanese to help her or if it really was her memory.
There were other small things. Maybe muscle memory. When they would sleep he would feel her reach out for him, her fingers brush his side as if confirming he was there. He wasn’t sure if it was him or Eliott that she was reaching for but he didn’t care. Taking her fingers in his own he would hold onto her and pretend it was her body remembering him. Even if her mind didn’t
“Baku Baku?”
Bakugou froze at the nickname. He hadn’t heard that one in a long time. It was as if an icy hand had clinched his heart squeezing it hard. “What?” he asked.
“This video,” she said holding up. “Lilly sent it last night”
Olive was on Lilly’s floor laughing and talking in a mix of English and Japanese. He remembered that night. They had flown to the US to see some friends and family. While there Lilly, Clare, their husbands, and a few other friends had all gone out drinking. Olive had ended up taking shots with Clare and the two girls had gotten very drunk. Bakugou had basically half dragged, half carried her back to Lilly’s place
“That’s my fiance Baku Baku, he’s so cute.” Olive was saying as pointed at someone off screen.
“Good luck with that she’s done.” Lilly’s voice laughed from behind the camera.
“Are you filming me!?!” Olive asked, pouting her glassy eyes glaring at the camera.
“Yeah Nickie wanted to make sure you made it home”
“Nickie I’m going to cuddle the shit out of my Baku Baku. and then I’m going to...”
“Ok we are done,” Bakugou said coming into frame, bending down picking her up, throwing her over his shoulder. She giggled looking at the camera mouthing ‘wow so strong’. Then leaning forward she started not so quietly whispering to him
“I’m going to suck your--”
“Bedtime!” Bakugou said, shoving his hand over her mouth making her laugh.
That had been over almost 3 years ago but it felt like yesterday and a lifetime ago.
“Damn your arms are huge,” Olive said, zooming in on the image of Bakugou’s arm holding her. His bicep looking particularly large from the angel he was flexing.
“Hard work,” he smirked, enjoying the praise.
“I can’t believe you picked me up.”
“I can still pick you up,” he stated.
She giggled, shaking her head, “I believe you... Baku Baku.”
“God idiot.” as much as he hated that nickname he couldn’t help but admit it sounded amazing at the moment. Was he really that desperate for some sort of normalcy?
“Oh and this one too!” she giggled pulling up another video. Olive was standing slightly flushed, her arm slung over Momo’s. They were in a bar, colorful lights pulsing with the music blasting above. Mina’s voice came from behind the camera, clearly filming the two other girls.
“What happened?”
“This guy tried to grab Momo’s tits so I told him to take his little dick energy somewhere else and leave my wife alone.”
“Oh are you guys married now?” there was a giggle at the end of Mina’s voice, clearly finding the exchange hilarious. Momo had long ago gotten used to Olive’s very physical way of loving her friends and shrugged under her best friend’s arm.
“Yep, sorry Baku Baku.” Olive said, grinning pulling Momo closer to her playfully.
“Momo?” Olive said pointing to the girl,
“She’s one of my classmates from high school. She’s a pro, number 5 actually. You, her and the girl talking are all really good friends. There is also June that girl there.”
“Oh, where were you there that night?”
“No that was a girl’s night.”
She nodded looking at the video, “Can we go hang out with them? Would that be weird?”
Bakugou didn’t want to tell her that they had all been asking about her for weeks but he… he kind of wanted to keep her all to himself. Like if he held her close enough maybe he could pretend they were fine. And showing his old classmates what had happened was something that may have happened on his watch.
“I don’t know…” he said slowly.
They hadn’t found much on the mysterious America. He seemed to have disappeared into the wind. While Olive didn’t really go anywhere alone and Bakugou hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary to suspect he was coming back he still felt overly protective.
Maybe the America thing had just been some weird fluke.
But he had this feeling it wasn’t. Deep down it just didn’t feel right.
And no one from her past life had a querk like that.
He looked over at her. She was looking up at him clutching her phone with wide eyes. She looked so cute like that. “Please? I’m in the best city in the world and I feel like all I do is stay in here and read my own stuff.”
“I’m here” he hadn’t meant it to come out as hurt as it did but. It had.
“And you’ll be there too?” it was posed like a question, he wasn’t sure if that was a language mix up, she kept seeming to do that. Some sort of old bad habit. Maybe it had something to do with living in California. They all talked like they were asking questions.
“I can see if some of the old gang is available. But I doubt Momo will be. She is busy.”
“Mina and Kirishima too?” she asked breaking into a smile. He knew she was really only asking for them because they were the only other names she had seen. Mina had reached out even after Bakugou had told her not too. The two girls had gone back and forth a little bit. Mina’s English was ok and Olive’s Japanese getting better.
“I’ll ask. But don’t get your hopes up.”
“OK!” she giggled excitedly and he felt a sense of dread about it. Anxiety building up slightly at the idea.
“I said don’t get excited.”
“Too late Baku Baku!” she jumped up almost tripping over the blanket still wrapped around her. Instinctively he reached for her but pulled away when he saw her right herself.
“Don’t call me that!” it came out harsher than he meant it too. Force of habit. But glancing over at Olive she was already back on her phone looking through old photos of a girl’s life she had lived but didn’t know anything about. Her feet leading her toward the bedroom. Probably already planning her outfit.
He was going to regret this wasn’t he  
Slowly she stopped in the hallway that split the living room from the other rooms in the apartment. Turning to him she looked at him confused.
“Are you coming to bed?”
His heart lurched at the image. Her all wrapped up in her blanket waiting for him. So familiar it made him want to lunge forward pulling her to him. Press her back to the wall while pushing his body against hers. To wrap himself up around her while she looked up at him with that little playful smile.
Instead, he just stood shoving his hands into his pockets as if that would hold him back. “Whatever, needy,” he mumbled, passing her as he walked toward the bedroom. She giggled watching him before bouncing after him. Like always ignoring his jabs as if she found them endearing.
Guess some things don’t change even if everything else does.
-GET TAGGED-
Master List
Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm
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birlcholtz · 4 years
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you did bittyholtz so now how about bittyrans
bittyrans you say??? this is so fucking long it’s over 2.5k i’ve written full ass fics shorter than this i am going to bED
it starts with the PSLs, as so many things do. (do they???? idk i’ve only had like 2 psls in my life) PSLs turn into rans and bitty having weekly scheduled ‘get coffee and talk about the absolutely obscene lifestyle choices of the rest of our team,’ featuring holster and jack’s wardrobes, the green couch, and shitty’s inability to chew without talking at the same time, among other things
and THEN ‘coffee and bitch’ sessions turn into 'coffee and talk about whatever u feel’ sessions and eventually it just becomes a Thing. saturday mornings are for ransom and bitty. there’s still a lot of 'coffee and bitch’ happening, because it’s not like holster’s adidas slides and socks combo just went away, but they realize it’s not just expensive lattes and a half decent sense of fashion and hygiene that unites them. 
they deal with academic pressure in such different ways that it’s almost impossible to notice the similarities until they start talking more and more and realize they both feel that pressure (ransom because everything he turns in has to be perfect, bitty because he has a ridiculously hard time concentrating on things that don’t interest him, like for instance many of his classes), it’s just that ransom has nervous breakdowns that feature a lot of crying under the table and bitty bakes things as therapy until he’s forgotten all about whatever he needed to do.
so what happens when eric bittle (unofficially voted cutest member of smh 80 times) and justin oluransi (the most beautiful man at samwell) hang out a lot?
well, the first thing that happens is that people stare at them a lot as they walk around but ransom genuinely doesn’t notice because this happens to him all the time it’s never *not* happened and bitty notices but he figures it’s just because Ransom. u know.
ransom also finds bitty’s vlog, watches like 8 videos immediately (holster: dude are u ok), and barrels into the kitchen with his laptop in hand like BITTY CAN WE MAKE THIS
and bitty’s like oh sure! and ransom’s like. no. i mean can WE make this. i want to learn to make it and bitty’s like FUCK yeah
over the course of learning to make this dish ransom successfully wheedles bitty into letting him be on his vlog, bitty’s subscribers are Shook at this beautiful man just suddenly appearing when bitty has literally never had a guest before. he and ransom struggle to call each other by their first names the entire time and it’s fun and silly and they DO actually get a decent pie in the oven so it’s a success ('teaching my teammate to bake a _____’ sorry i didn’t think of a recipe lol. fill in whatever u want)
and then the comments on that video blow up, mostly with comments about ransom, some are just about how beautiful he is, some are like eric…. >.> why is this man on your channel when nobody else has ever been. eric do you have a boyfriend and where did you find him
bitty reads all these comments and does Not mention them to ransom but he’s mildly flattered that these people just assumed he was dating rans. because it’s hard to stand next to ransom and still feel attractive oops
BUT he also gets a bunch of new subscribers, which is why he asks ransom if he wants to be on the vlog again a few weeks later and ransom is like oh HELL yes
but it’s too late. bitty’s read all the comments asking if they’re dating. he never thought about ransom in that context before but he’s read all the comments now and he can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to date him. oops
they do the second video, and bitty firmly tells himself that they’re just friends and he’s just overthinking all of those comments, but also ransom smiling directly at someone is a force to be reckoned with and bitty literally cannot stop himself from smiling back (it’s a good thing they’re the only ones in the kitchen because anyone else would probably explode from observing it. bitty smiling is much more powerful than he knows)
okay and like. if bitty thought the comments on the first video were a lot. the sECOND video with justin oluransi?? it blows up. particularly because of one part where bitty catches ransom stealing a strawberry and just gasps and goes “justin” and people lose their minds over it. eric is so appalled. justin grins in a way that is only half apologetic and immediately reaches for another one and eric literally almost yeets the pie down the counter away from him. people set it to music on tiktok (i know tiktok wasn’t a thing while they were in college let me h a v e this)
and let it be known, ransom is also reading the comments on these videos, and he sees all the ones asking if he’s bitty’s boyfriend and he’s like haha wait what and tHEn he goes back and rewatches the videos he’s been in and like?? okay he can see why they think that. bitty puts his hands over ransom’s a lot and ransom slings an arm around bitty’s shoulders a lot but that’s just normal for smh??????? right??????? RIGHT??????????
too late. they’re both overanalyzing every single interaction now
(holster: bro did you see this tiktok of you and— ransom: and bitty losing five years off his life expectancy? yeah holster: nono this one’s set to don’t rain on my parade/the sound of silence/et cetera you have to watch it)
ransom still isn’t in most of bitty’s videos because honestly most of his stuff goes way over ransom’s level of baking knowledge. but he still watches them and it’s kind of nice to watch vlogs where bitty is so obviously in his element? the way he talks to the camera is so friendly and charming and the way he bakes is so efficient and professional. and because he’s a masochist he reads the comments on those ones too and finds a lot where people are asking where justin is. but mostly he’s focused on bitty and how obvious it is that this is bitty’s THING. he just exudes confidence and happiness and it’s kind of hypnotizing honestly
(he also goes back to bitty’s earliest vlogs and is like holy shit BABY BITTY. SO SMALL. and bitty in those videos is still charming but a little less calm and collected— the editing is a little less smooth, and he can’t quite stop himself from adding editorial comments about his aunt’s and his mother’s different techniques. it’s kind of adorable. and like, bitty is still adorable— wait what just crossed ransom’s brain???)
because bitty IS adorable, just a little more put together now. he still gets more excited by discussing types of flour than anyone else ransom has ever met, and he still bops along to whatever song is stuck in his head while he bakes, and when ransom sees bitty after bingeing roughly half of his videos and feels something in his chest lighten, he figures that’s probably going to be his new normal.
and people in the comments clamor for more videos with ransom, and ransom sees these comments, and bitty does too, and ransom seeing these comments is why he pokes his head into the kitchen when he knows bitty is filming, silently waves at the camera, and then leaves again before bitty’s even noticed that he’s there. it makes it into the final cut of the video and the comments section goes wild.
ransom and bitty still hang out plenty outside of doing vlogs together— bitty eventually gets a few dollars in ad revenue from the first video ransom was in and insists that they go on a celebratory unscheduled annie’s trip. (annie’s date energy intensifies)
and while they’re at annie’s/hanging out around campus/bitty has let ransom drag him to the library for some reason bitty can’t help but wonder what it would be like if he was actually dating ransom. he can’t deny that he thinks about ransom in that way now— it’s hard NOT to honestly?? like ransom has been objectively beautiful since the first day bitty met him (and before that, but y'know, not as relevant to bitty’s life) and maybe it’s just his imagination but he thinks that ever since they’ve started making these videos ransom’s smiles have lingered just a little longer and there are more of them, too. and the vlogs have also shown bitty a side of ransom that he doesn’t see a lot, because nobody sees it a lot— ransom trying something he isn’t already good at. throwing himself into it with enthusiasm, actually, and that NEVER happens. ransom is not great at handling failure? but bitty gets to see him cut loose and relax and laugh at his mistakes and he kind of loves it and loves this version of ransom he hasn’t seen before
and ransom, for his part, has been steadily falling for the sheer force of bitty’s charisma when he’s doing something he loves, ever since he first found bitty’s vlog. and as he looks closer he realizes it’s not just the vlog— bitty has always had these depths to him, he just kind of lets them out when he’s baking? and ransom feels kind of privileged to be able to see that side of him so regularly
(also i’m just saying that ransom is very into intelligence and watching bitty fire off answers without even blinking to obscure baking questions where ransom only understands about 30% of the words is a turn on)
but ransom’s become a fan favorite on bitty’s vlog, and he keeps making recurring appearances and even improves a little at baking (which bitty always comments on when he notices an improvement— it’s half chirpy and half genuine pride), and people in the comments BEG them to do a q&a for like. a couple of months. before bitty is like uhhh if i want to make money off of this channel i gotta give the people what they want
so he makes a normal vlog but at the end ransom pops in and they’re like hey we’re gonna do a q&a for our next video where eric answers baking questions and justin is also there since y'all really want him there for some reason??? (but bitty says it nicer and less confused than that)
bitty immediately realizes why ppl want ransom to be in the q&a so bad when about 25% of the comments are about baking and the rest of them are about bitty and ransom. roughly three-quarters of THOSE fully assume they’re dating and the rest of them are just asking if they’re dating.
so bitty is like um ransom?? we should probably address this in our q&a?? everyone really wants to know if we’re dating??
and this interaction is incredibly awkward. i need you all to know that. it’s incredibly awkward because bitty is like 'okay so like YES i like ransom in more than a friend way but this is literally the worst scenario ever i literally can’t believe my subscribers are calling me out for making eyes at him’ and ransom is like 'fuck fuck fuck i want to date bitty but i don’t want to make it weird is it weird??? because of his vlog?????? what do i do??????’
but anyway then ransom is like uh yeah we should address that! and then like. says nothing
and bitty’s like uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh. sooooooooooooo. what do we say
and ransom’s like. :0. um. (the amount of ums and uhs in this conversation are astonishing let me say) well. are we dating??
and bitty genuinely can’t tell if ransom actually meant that as a question or if it was sarcastic and he says as much and ransom is like no that was a real question i actually don’t know if we’re dating or not?
and bitty is like holy shit i can’t believe this is happening what the fuck and he says well. we should um. clear that up. before the q&a
and ransom’s like yeah we should. uh. like. we COULD be dating.
and bitty’s like ….yeah yeah we could. are we?
and ransom’s like do you want to be?
and bitty’s like do you want to be?
and ransom’s like i asked first and bitty’s like damn u got me there. and then he’s like yeah i …. kinda want to be dating and ransom is like swawesome me too glad we cleared that up, how was ur lit seminar and bitty is like HOLD ON JUSTIN OLURANSI because did that just fuckin happen??? we can’t just MOVE ON from that conversation that fast????
so they wind up talking about how basically bitty’s vlog inspired Feelings in both of them and it’s very emotional because ransom is like i love that i feel like i can make mistakes around you and bitty is like i love that you put in the effort to learn about what i care about and they go to annie’s because That’s What They Do and get matching drinks as they always do and smile at each other the whole time (bitty is also literally pinching himself because What The Fuck, how did i wheel JUSTIN OLURANSI) and then they go back to the haus and start picking the questions to respond to in their q&a
ransom does get busier and can’t spend as much time in bitty’s vlogs as usual but he helps bitty plan out what he’s going to talk about when, when to post, the ideal ratio of how-to videos versus just answering questions, and with his help bitty’s vlog starts getting a lot of attention and a lot of subscribers, like, exponentially fast
(it helps that they got memed so early on)
(it also helps that their q&a video where they confirmed they were dating was fucking adorable because they talked about how they got together and how a big part of it was bc of bitty’s vlog and it’s just the sweetest goddamn thing and that video totally blows up too)
(intentional celebrity eric bittle. accidental celebrity justin oluransi.)
it gets to a point where bitty is like. making legitimate money from his vlog and he INSISTS on compensating ransom in some way (ransom: i like helping you??? bitty: and i like making my vlog doesn’t mean i don’t like getting things out of it) so they work out a system where ransom gets some money for helping bitty plan out videos and edit and he gets some more for videos he’s in and like?? they’re icons. 
some headcanons: 
ransom successfully convinces bitty to wear sperrys
bitty boops ransom’s nose so often that there are compilations of it
bitty also spends a lot of time with ransom when he’s studying for tests because being just like. physically there, like leaning on ransom’s shoulder or holding his hand helps reassure ransom a little
ransom always holds bitty’s face in his hands before kissing him and bitty thinks it’s the best thing ever
there’s an entire swallow issue about them
bitty’s name in ransom’s phone is 'eric butter
bitty tells his parents ransom has been helping him with his vlog before he tells them that they’re together, and coach is like 'nice’ and suzanne bursts with such effusive joy (because ransom is great with parents) that bitty feels himself grinning
the Thesis Battle of 2017 is less increasingly sneaky methods of convincing bitty to write his thesis and more 'bitty read this article on the pomodoro method and then work on ur thesis for twenty minutes so you can bake pie later’ (dex asks ransom if they should cut off bitty’s oven access and ransom is like hmm. well if u do just make sure it doesn’t affect how the kitchen looks because if he can’t even film vlogs answering people’s questions then he’ll be really frustrated)
ransom and bitty shop for clothes together all the time and when it’s winter clothes it’s a constant battle between things that will keep them warm and things that will look cute. they definitely have discussions where bitty’s like 'okay do you think this is warm enough for me’ and ransom’s like 'no that’s warm enough for me you’re from georgia’
both of their snapchat games are INCREDIBLY strong. ransom’s stories are a work of art and bitty is a master of filters and they are constantly communicating via snapchat
ransom also keeps track of all the memes that surface from bitty’s channel and saves them to show bitty later
bitty’s channel gets bigger and bigger and more and more popular and his creative team gets bigger and more complicated to reflect that? but at the same time ransom is always his no. 1
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purplesurveys · 3 years
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1040
survey by amandahudson48
When's the last time you said you were sorry? Maybe last Friday or yesterday? I haven’t been replying to Andi because I was in a slump, then when I was finally able to get back to them I made sure to apologize first and explain why it took me a while to respond.
Have you done anything interesting in the last week? I got to dine in at a restaurant again after nine months last Monday, and I brought my parents to treat them as well. The three of us had ramen, then I also treated them to frozen yogurt after. It felt nice to be out, but we also headed to a mall Gab and I used to regularly go to so everything ended up being too difficult to process and I was fighting tears the whole time at the ramen place.
Are there any songs you listen to everyday? I don’t think so. There have been a lot of days where I’ve avoided music altogether.
What do you consider a waste of time? Having to manually go to a government office nowhere near your house to queue for an ID or document when it could be done digitally, but you can’t and have no choice anyway because the agency’s website isn’t even working. In short, welcome to the Philippines where the government can steal billions but can’t maintain their own damn websites.
How do you react to stress? I tend to have a shorter fuse around people. So that I don’t accidentally lash out on anyone, I’ll bring myself to work on autopilot until I get a task done. If I find time to myself, I cry in private for a few minutes because stress sucks; then I try to dust myself off and get back to working.
Have you ever considered what you would do in certain life/death sitches? Sometimes. My game plan for the most part is to simply scream at the top of my lungs to rouse attention, but I’ll never really know what I’ll do unless something actually takes place. I have a track record of being scared frozen when scary men have approached me in the past, so idk if I will have it in me to scream in a life or death situation.
Have you ever gone mud riding? No. Photos don’t look too appealing mostly because I’m not into vehicles and driving them on unconventional terrain lol, but I mean I would still give it a shot at least once.
Do you edit your photos? Just sometimes, if I mean to show off or promote someone/something to my mutuals; like the time I promoted my uncle’s business when he gave me a free cheesecake. I usually use the VSCO or Foodie apps.
What kind of cookie do you like the most? Chocolate chip cookies that are crispy on the outside and gooey inside; and dark chocolate macadamia cookies.
Do you enjoy working alone? Sure, though I don’t mind the occasional groupwork.
Is there anyone you're not over and feel like you never will be? Yes, I’m in exactly the same place I found myself at five years ago.
Do you like long or short surveys? Medium-length, so like anywhere between 40-70 questions is the perfect length for me.
How often do you listen to your iPod? I used to listen to it everyday because I brought it with me throughout middle school and the first half of high school. When iPods slowly went out of style in junior year, I started using it less frequently.
What kind of house do you want? Something modern and minimalist; I’d like it to be predominantly rectangular or square in shape with large windows. I do also want a brutalist style for myself but I might have to give that up if I ever end up with a family, as I don’t want my kids thinking their own home looks aloof and unapproachable.
Would you like living on the coast? It sounds like paradise. Yeah, absolutely.
What song was the last you listened to? To Let A Good Thing Die - Bruno Major. Then I got really sad and had to stop listening to music altogether and scramble to watch something hilarious on YouTube.
When's the last time you were really late to something? Last week, for a meeting with a client :/ I wasn’t accustomed to my weekly calls just yet and ended up attending a 4:30-5 PM meeting at 4:57, right when it was ending, because I thought it started at 5. It was embarrassing and my manager was rightfully jokingly mad at me.
Do you prefer to take back roads or the highways? Highways as much as possible, but if I’m stuck in traffic and if it looks like I wouldn’t be able to get to my destination on time then I ask Waze to guide me through backroads.
How do you spell your name without consonants? Rbyn or Rbn, depending on what you consider y to be.
What's the last movie you watched? Uhhh it was still That Thing Called Tadhana but it’s been a while. I mainly watch a Korean drama titled Start Up these days.
What would you like your generation to change? The people society votes into office. Young Americans seem to be leading the charge on this front, which is so so great. Meanwhile in my country Manny Pacquiao is planning for his 2022 presidential campaign and we are once again fucked because voter’s literacy is so fucking low that I actually see a possibility of him winning. Migrating has never sounded more attractive.
Do you use your cell phone a lot? Yeah, it’s beside me with the screen turned on nearly the entire day.
When's the last time you saw an ocean wave? Not sure about an ocean wave, but the last time I saw a wave in general (we were at a beach) was August 2019.
How long can you hold your breath? Maybe a minute max? I haven’t had to try in a while.
Would you rather work behind the scenes or be the star? Behind the scenes. I loathe the spotlight and I’ve never been the performing type, and I always hated it whenever I’ve had to perform in school or for a family function. It’s also why, as fun as hosting looks like as a career, and as much as I know I would’ve been decent in it if I tried, it was just ultimately never the path for me.
Are you a sore loser? Yeah, I hate it. I’m competitive to the bone, which personally sucks too because it’s hard for me to enjoy games lol. I make it easier for the playing crowd by just watching at the sidelines so that I don’t ruin things for them.
When's the last time you used a pair of scissors? Yesterday when I was doing embroidery.
What was the last word you thought? I mean...’embroidery,’ I guess, since I typed it last before reading this question.
Is it easy to make you angry? It takes me a while to explode.
Have you wondered if other people wonder what you’re thinking? No.
Do you sing a lot? When I’m alone and am certain no one can hear, yes.
Do you think you have an addictive personality? Uh no, not really. I like keeping a certain distance with everyone I interact with. As nice as I can be, I try to make sure my personality isn’t the type that would ~leave people wanting more~ so to speak.
Which affects us more: our genes or the environment in which we're raised? For me, it’s the environment. Genes are strong too, but they’re already there; they’re given, they’re constant, they’re wired into each person. The fact that people can still be constantly affected depending on what kind of situation they’re in says much about the capabilities of being raised in a certain environment. For instance, I know for sure I would’ve ended up being more emotionally stable if I was provided with a healthier, gentler upbringing.
Why do you believe that? Oops, I may have already answered it above.
Honestly, do you enjoy arguing? Nah. Watching others do it can be fun, but I avoid them myself.
Do you prefer to use tape or glue? Tape. More secure.
Do you see routine as a comfort or a rut? Comfort. I do like bursts of spontaneity every now and then, though.
When's the last time you cried? Last night. I wanted to this morning, but I already did so much heavy crying last night that I just gave myself a break today.
Do you believe that love can get you through anything? No. I know that now.
What do you wish you had more of? Money is always a good answer. Also, weekends.
If you HAD to change one thing about your best friend, what would it be? I wish Angela lived nearer, so that it’s easier to visit. I wish Gabie wasn’t so selfish.
Have you ever gone to sleep mad? It’s harder that way, lol. But I mean yeah I guess I’ve felt angry while trying to go to bed; it’s just that I usually use certain outlets so that I could calm down and fall asleep more easily.
Do you like your computer? I love it. Even though it’s an older Macbook Air I have no plans to replace it; it’s still so low-maintenance and reliable after all this time.
Which theory do you wish but perhaps not believe was true about afterlife? This is a good question and something I always wish was verbalized more. For me, it’s the idea of reuniting with all your deceased family, friends, and pets in death. That has always given me comfort, but I don’t necessarily cling to it.
Is there anyone that you truly could not live without? I can think of one such person, but we’ll see if it holds true.
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turtle-steverogers · 4 years
Text
Government Affiliated Love Affairs
idk @fuck-your-fandoms suggested this and i vibed with it so yeee here we are
soulmate au! kinda!
ship: ralbert
warnings: none i dont think, but if i missed something lemme know
word count: 2600 ish
editing: eh kinda idk
-
“Well, this is stupid.”
“Yeah, tell me about it, pal.”
Race sighs, looking down at his hands as he fiddles with the cup sleeve of his grande americano.  
It was common knowledge that the “Formulated Love Act of 2023” was not the most foolproof of laws passed by the government in the past 5 years (not that anything the government did anymore was foolproof, but he’ll digress), but Race couldn’t help but at least appreciate that it wasn’t trying to push any heteronormative bullshit.  
That didn’t make this asshole any more bearable.
Granted, the notion of solving the ‘loneliness epidemic’ (which apparently was a thing and was causing the US enough damn trouble that the government fucking stepped in) through means of systematic soulmates was sweet.  Everyone gets a match based off a stupid fucking questionaire they completed when they were 21, like “oh, you can drink now! Here’s a shot of vodka and also your future partner is gonna be determined by this thick ass packet, go ahead and fill that out, no pressure!” And by the time you’re 25, a soulmate’s been hand picked for you.  By law, you’re required to marry them within a year of meeting, and then you’re set to live your life happily ever after. 
It was nice in theory.  But in practice?  Not so much.
Then again, wasn’t the government usually like that?
Race wished he had some whiskey to pour into his americano like those edgy movie characters.  Or Jack Kelly.  Jack Kelly did that sometimes.
When he’d gotten the email a week ago with his soulmate’s information and their established ‘meet-up arrangements’- which were really just fancy words for ‘forced date, have fun’- Race had been tentatively hopeful that maybe he’d be one of the rare cases.  The ones you read about on Buzzfeed where it really is love at first sight and maybe those few, poor FBI Agents who were stuck with the ‘Pairing Process’ had done something right for once.  
The ounce of a Disney fan within him had even entertained the thought of some miraculous meeting, where sparks fly and eyelashes are batted and smiles are exchanged.
But no.  Instead, Race is sitting at some random Starbucks in the middle of Manhattan with an obnoxious (and upsettingly pretty) redhead, who’s first words to him were, “I fucking hate coffee, I’m gonna get tea.”  To which Race had tried to cover his scowl, but failed miserably.
He hated tea snobs.  Don’t get him wrong, he enjoys tea as much as the next 25 year old guy, but those dudes who fucking made a point to openly despise coffee in favor of tea like some sort of pompous jerk?  Yeah, they killed his boner.
Race toys around with his coffee cup for another moment, before the silence gets too thick and he breaks, “Albert, right?” he asks, because even though it’s been a good half hour since they’d met up, the guy still hasn’t properly introduced himself.    
It had said Albert’s name and age in the email last Saturday, but come on.  It’s basic human decency to at least offer your name and maybe a handshake.
Albert scrunches his nose, taking a long sip from his iced peach green tea lemonade.  Fucking asshole.
“Yeah,” He says.  He sounds bitter and uninviting.  Race tries not to shrink in his seat, “And you’re Antonio.”
“Race,” Race interjects.
Albert’s eyebrows draw together, “Race?  What the fuck kinda-”
“It’s a nickname, just-” Race scrubs a hand down his face, “Just, don’t question it, but it’s Race, got it?”
Albert leers at him, “Fine.”
The silence settles over them once more, except this time, they’re maintaining eye contact.  Albert looks like he’s trying to size him up and Race’s neck prickles uncomfortably.
I mean, seriously, this is the guy Race has to marry?  Yippee fucking ki yay.
“Listen,” Race says slowly, “This- I mean,” he blows out a breath, starting over, “I hate to break it to you, but we’re stuck together and you’ve gotta move in by,” he pauses, checking the date on his phone, “Wednesday, so we could either work something out or suffer.”
Albert’s glare doesn’t falter, “I’ll suffer.”
Race sighs again.
XXX
“And down the hall here is my room and that,” Race gestures to the door opposite his room, Albert trailing behind him, “Is yours.”
After their disaster of a first date last Saturday, Race had relented and cleaned out his office, turning it into a guest room and moving his desk and file cabinets into his own room.  It was a tight squeeze into his relatively small space, but he wasn’t about to share a room with Albert.  But he was a nice person and wasn’t gonna condemn him to the couch, either.  So, guest room it is.
Albert hefts his box of belongings higher into his arms, shrugging his right shoulder to adjust the duffle bag on his back before inching into his room.
“Thanks, I guess,” He calls bluntly behind him before kicking the door closed, leaving Race standing dumbly on the other end.
Race blinks.  Then, blinks again.
“Man, fuck you!” He calls in a sudden surge of anger.  He hadn’t done a damn thing to Albert, what fucking right did he have to hate him?  He didn’t even give him a chance!
“Nah.”  Albert calls back.
“I didn’t mean it like that you fucking ass- you know what?  Nevermind.”  He storms into his own room, slamming the door shut behind him.
XXX
Later that night, Race is curled up in front of the TV, cradling a bowl of Panang curry and watching some random documentary about koalas.  He spoons some fried tofu into his mouth, frontwardly considering getting a koala, because they’re fucking adorable, and distantly wondering if Albert was ever going to come out of his room.  
He hadn’t heard from him all afternoon and the only indication that he was still in the house had been the distinct sound of a toe being stubbed, followed by a loud, ‘fuck me!’, which Race didn’t laugh at.  He didn’t.
His question is answered a moment later when Albert’s door creaks open down the hall and he pads into the living room.  Race can feel him lingering in the doorway, watching him, and he groans a little, placing his spoon back into his bowl and muting the television.
“What,” he says, turning to face Albert, who looks sheepish for a moment before replacing the scowl on his face.
“Nothing, just-” he purses his lips and glances towards the kitchen.
Race softens a little, “Are you hungry?  I didn’t know your order, but I got you some pad thai, 
‘cause it’s pretty standard…it’s in the fridge if you want it.”
Albert looks back at him, a strange look on his face, “You got me something?”
Race shrugs, “yeah?”
“Even after I-” Albert shakes his head, “Thanks.” 
Race watches as he seems to go through some internal conflict before stalking off towards the kitchen.  A moment later, the microwave starts up.  
“Alrighty,” Race mumbles to himself, unmuting the television and picking his spoon back up.  
A couple more minutes pass with the remote sounds of Albert putzing around in the kitchen and the narrator’s accented voice droning on.  It feels weird to have someone else in the house, but Race shrugs it off.  He never loved having roommates, but it was no different than his college days, really.  Even though he couldn’t just forget Albert after the year was over.  He had to marry the damn guy.
He’s surprised when Albert comes back into the living room and even more shocked when the other end of the couch dips.  Glancing over, he finds Albert sitting with his legs tucked underneath him, twirling rice noodles around his fork and staring fixedly at the TV.  He forces himself to relax and finish his curry.
They don’t say anything and eventually, Race lets his guard down a little.  An indiscernible amount of time passes and the program turns to a show about domesticated hedgehogs and how to care for them.  
Race feels himself nodding off, and he’s about to let sleep take him over completely when he feels his bowl being lifted out of his hands.  He cracks open an eye in time to see Albert get up and clear their dishes.
He comes back a moment later and looks mildly startled to see Race awake.
“I thought you were out out,” he says, and Race notes that the hostility that’s been ever present since they met is curiously absent.
“I woke up when you took our stuff,” Race admits.
Albert hums and sits back down on the couch, clicking off the TV and bracing his forearms on his knees.  He looks like he might want to say something, so Race waits patiently.
“Look,” Albert starts, sounding a little strained, “I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting.  I’m not trying to justify my behavior, but this whole,” he gestures a little wildly, “soulmate thing freaks me out and I kinda panicked over it and totally took it out on you even though it’s not in any way your fault and,” he lets out a humorless chuckle, finally looking at Race, “I’m sorry.  Really.”
Race offers him a tired, but reassuring smile, “Listen, bud, I’m like half asleep so only, like, a fraction of this conversation is getting comprehended, but it’s okay.  I mean, you were an asshole, but I get it.  This whole system is fucked.”
Albert laughs for real and Race finds that he likes it.  Just a little.  He can appreciate a nice laugh, okay?
“Sure is,” Albert agrees.
There’s a pause, but it’s not as charged as before.
“Where did the nickname ‘Race’ come from?”
“Uhhh,” Race yawns, stretching, “I dunno, my little sister always called me that and it stuck?”
“Cool.”
“Yeah.”
Race props his head up on his hand, sleepily watching Albert fidget.  Albert seems to sense him staring, because he looks at him again, offering a small smile.
“You’re tired,” he points out uselessly, “you should sleep.”
Race nods, standing, “Yeah, I think I’m gonna,” he starts towards his room, “You should, too.”
Albert salutes him, “I will.”
“Goodnight, Al.”
“‘Night, Race.”
XXX
After their little impromptu apology session, things change between Race and Albert.
They hang out more, heading into the city to browse through museums and stroll aimlessly through Central Park.  Albert brings Race to a planetarium and Race, in turn, takes him to an ABT performance at Lincoln Center.  It’s nice, Race finds, and his initial opinion of Albert is rapidly changing into something entirely different and ten times more positive.
He discovers that Albert’s favorite ice cream flavor is stracciatella, even though it’s hard to find in the States.  Albert tells him that he graduated from Pratt with a film degree and dreams to one day participate in the Sundance Film Festival.
In turn, Race confesses that even though he grew up dancing and always thought he’d be a professional dancer, culinary school had ended up being his calling.  
Little things about Albert start to filter into Race’s awareness.  Like the way he quirks one side of his mouth a little higher than the other when he laughs, or how he scrunches his nose a little and furrows his eyebrows when he’s filming.  He’s got that kind of charming, self-deprecating humor, where he’s always cracking jokes, but only at his own expense, making him approachable and likable.  When he’s telling stories, his voice always pitches a little different, captivating whoever’s listening.  But when someone else is talking, he gives his full, unwavering attention.  
It makes Race feel interesting and important.  Like what he has to say matters.
It’s a sunny Friday and the two of them are sitting in a small sandwich shop in Brooklyn.  Albert is retelling some ridiculous story about how he got a cab driver to bring him to a veterinarian for free, because he found an injured pigeon.  His meatball sub is long since forgotten and Race notices that he has a little sauce on his cheek.
He’s just about to reach out to wipe it off when he realizes it.
He’s kind of in love with Albert Dasilva.
Huh.  Crazy.
XXX
“Hey, so I was thinking we could go try out that new bubble tea place over on 14th?”
Race lifts his head from his pillow, blinking blearily at where Albert’s leaning against his doorframe.  It’s Saturday and they’d spent the night previous in some club getting spectacularly drunk and naturally, Race is hungover as shit.  But Albert doesn’t get hungover, the motherfucker.
He scrubs a hand down his face and Albert watches with a smirk as he struggles to sit up.
“Yeah,” Race says, “Yeah, I’m down, just,” he rolls his stiff neck, wincing as it cracks, “gimme a few minutes to freshen up.”
“No prob,” Albert says, sidling out of the room, “We can grab greasy breakfast for you somewhere as well!”
“You’re a saint!” Race calls back.
A half hour later, they’re bumping shoulders as they venture through The Village, keeping an eye on Albert’s google maps as they look for ‘Bubbleology’, the new fangled cafe Jack and Katherine had been insisting they try.
“So, the Air and Space Museum in DC is having an exhibit on Mars next weekend and I was thinking we could pop down to see it?” 
Albert perks up, looking away from his phone to give Race an excited smile, “Really?  Wait, how did you know about that and I didn’t?”
Race blushes a little, shoving his hands in his pockets, “It’s your birthday coming up, so I was looking for things to do and...yeah.”
“Aww,” Albert nudges him, but Race can see him flush, “That’s sweet, I’d love to- shit, Race, careful!”
Race gasps, freezing as a car speeds towards him.  The only unfrozen part of his mind is screaming that the crosswalk says they can walk, so why isn’t that car fucking stopping and-
He feels a hand grip his bicep, yanking him back towards the sidewalk and all cognition slams back into him as he and Albert fall onto the pavement.
“-Fucking ASSHOLE, watch it!” Albert’s screaming uselessly after the car, but Race isn’t registering it.  Not completely anyway.
He takes a moment to assess himself, breathing deeply as he becomes increasingly aware that he almost fucking died, but he didn’t thanks to Albert.
Albert looks down when Race tugs on his sleeve, “Are you okay?  Jesus, that was- mmph.”
Race pulls him down, crashing their lips together.  For a moment, Albert’s frozen against him, then he relaxes into the kiss, reaching up a hand to cradle Race’s jaw.  They kiss for a while, until Race remembers that they’re quite literally sitting in the middle of a sidewalk and pulls away.  
Albert opens his eyes, looking slightly dazed, “Whoa.”
Race bites his lip, suddenly unsure, “Sorry?”
“No,” Albert’s eyes widen, “No, don’t apologize, that- no, that was okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” Albert says, hoisting Race to his feet and pulling him in for another kiss, “Very okay.”
When they break apart again, they’re both laughing, foreheads resting against one anothers.
“Hey,” Race whispers, waiting until Albert’s eyes meet his to continue, “I like you.”
Albert rolls his eyes, but it’s fond, “I like you, too, dumbass.  Maybe those FBI guys actually were onto something.”
Race smiles, goofy and genuine, “Yeah, maybe.”
They stand there for another moment, enjoying each other’s embrace.  Then, Albert steps away abruptly, grabbing Race’s hand and pulling him down the street.
“C’mon, I still want bubble tea.”
It’s Race’s turn to roll his eyes, “Idiot.”
“Yeah, butcha love me.”
“You got me there.”
-
do we want a part 2 with fluffy dating stuff/wedding?
lemme know!
thanks for reading, chiefs
hmu to be added to my tag
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97 notes · View notes
macklives · 5 years
Text
homestuck recap
i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there
anyways here it is
also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)
also that this is long
you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance
ive been coping with humor to get me through it
neato.
have fun with what i suffered through:
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why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?
like did i miss a page???
OH its the beta version of HS thats why
damn its like 5 pages and thats it
mmh
well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.
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do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”
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thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.
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god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did
i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now
cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz
flashbacks are starting up already
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yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl
that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.
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OH W A IT SHIT
i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place
my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.
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oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that
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little did rose know where that would get her right now
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oh yeah
there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.
still think shes some weird spy or secret agent
i kinda love her ngl
anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?
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oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf
and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red
huh, how times change
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i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again
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yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?
OH that makes also much more sense
bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.
i gotcha
man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat
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are you
telling me
the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?
THE EGG
THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”
of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this
man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt
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damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet
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okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig
man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow
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the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?
we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks
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oh yeah that reveal
god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh
bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog
who lowkey
is doing better than bro
who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao
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dreambot = terminator. im telling you.
sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”
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why is the entire game session highlighted
i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY
okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout
which is honestly cool
idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.
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yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching
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yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.
especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION
pls can this be the halfway point to the recap
AT LEAST
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so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.
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speaking of jack
man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl
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OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN
and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.
also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..
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she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far
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oh yeah okay
but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?
anyways
exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.
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noice
i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.
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yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute
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fuck yeah the dick head
hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them
anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”
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UH WHAT
WHAT
OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO
THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!
so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.
which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.
and jade is space. witch of space.
nice
i have no idea what that means ngl
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okay finally
we’re at the trolls
maybe this recap will end soon
i remember when i thought they were internet bullies
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yesss
someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke
it be like that, i annoy many
then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse
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imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens
ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that
nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background
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i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes
but theyre trying
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OH MY GOD
I GET IT
FUCK
DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??
AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS
GOD D A M N
wow
i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”
flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans
anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really
he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song
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i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh
trolling strategies
anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.
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i wonder why it explodes
more importantly
....
terminator time?
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this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.
absolutely gold.
all except AT’s rap.
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GC was the only smart one with the linear shit
anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so
that will be fun for the future
john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there
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yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things
OH and the white queen was the cursive
damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk
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oHHH
i fucking SEE
thats why he said DNA
to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean
fucking neat wow
man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log
so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.
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derse is very pretty, ngl
and wow shit
“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just
do that, awake in both places at once
i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow
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ah yes, around the time things got confusing
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okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao
the more you know i guess *twinkle*
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i find that a neat concept tho
like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit
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yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future
no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend
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fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say
i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm
and then everything else just made me sad again
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i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?
we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk
fucking DAVESPRITE
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damn idk how that works
will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?
“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?
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okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box
bc i thought he used his knife?
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im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew
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alright okay..
god that was a lot
i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE
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rugessnome · 4 years
Text
I'm going to pretend @overlyelegantstranger tagged me... 1. Nickname: Mouse is my longstanding online nickname, and for a bit less, DT (for Darth Tenebrous, actually, given my URL) ...actually I spelled Adrien the way I did because I've an OC who shortens her (different) name to "Ien", but I haven't found it convenient to introduce, nor convinced myself it refers to me. 2. Zodiac sign: I'm supposedly a Taurus; actually the sun was in Aries at my birth, and while those often suit me in tumblr astrology, I resent the assigned nature of it all so uh... also no. 3. Height: Five four, maybe five foot five if I'm lucky and standing particularly straight 4. Hogwarts house: Mostly Ravenclaw, with some Slytherin sympathies and a newfound appreciation for Hufflepuff. I will actively resent Gryffindor colors unless you tell me they're actually Shuos (even though I would probably be a Nirai, if anything, in the hexarchate. But I love certain of my foxes.) and/or somehow Sith. 5. Last thing I googled: "Nebuchadnezzar poisoning", because @piermanwalter reminded me of an anecdote in The Disappearing Spoon about how the eating grass thing might have been prompted by inadvertent poisoning. I didn't remember which element; turns out it's lead AND antimony. 6. Favourite musicians: Idk; Over the Rhine are up there, and lately The Mountain Goats. I've also seen Belle & Sebastian and Camera Obscura in concert, so I suppose they're up there. Vienna Teng, Regina Spektor... This is an incomplete list. 7. Song stuck in my head: the phrasing of this question keeps putting some song I don't even really know that has "over my head, over my head" in it? But really it's OTR's "And Can It Ever Be?", with which I am a little obsessed anew, because: "This night is so dark/this night is silence, and very little fear/tell me that this welcome peace/isn't dancing with the ghost of future tears" 8. Following now: four hundred ish? I'm going to check and come back and edit. The vast majority of whom are inactive and/or not personal blogs. 9. Followers: I think this is around 500, although I am/may be long overdue for a purge of spam/porn blogs 10. Do I get asks: Mostly only when I ask for them. But occasionally. 11. Amount of sleep: I gravitate towards about 8 hours. I am practically nonfunctional normally on much less than 6, and lately, thanks to um... anxiety, even getting by on 6 is difficult. 12. Lucky number: ...in some ways π, in some ways e 13. What I’m wearing: Star Trek ~lounge pants I made from Enterprise/"Star Trek" print fabric, and an oversized t-shirt I got when I participated in a litter cleanup 14. Dream job: uhhh something involving as many as possible of: sci-comm, math or programming tasks, a result helpful to people, and maybe a bit of domestic travel now and again?? Idk, I seem to change my mind on this frequently and don't really have a good or set idea. 15. Dream trip: I think the idea I'm most into at the moment is one day, hoping the present situation doesn't actually end service for good, is riding the uh "Empire Builder" Amtrak route through the northern US. Aside from that, I recently went to West Virginia and western Pennsylvania and would enjoy going back and also I am (except for quarantine concerns) almost always up for a road trip to Michigan. 16. Favourite food: this is not something I am good at deciding. There are too many good ones. Something, such as I had for dinner, involving potatoes, corn tortillas, and some peppers and tomatoes (or tomatillos in something else) and cheese as seasoning is my idea of great comfort food. I appreciate a good meatloaf but I also really don't mind eating vegetarian meals on a regular basis, given they're something I like. 17. Instruments: um. I can kinda play a few pieces, with idiosyncratic timing, on keyboard/piano and that's about it. I don't fluently read music though I might be able to work through something in treble clef. I recently acquired a cheap ukulele but I am struggling with tuning it, or understanding how it's used in songs or... 18. Languages: rusty, at best I was almost capable of halting conversation, German and Spanish. I have the Duolingo Latin tree but I don't think it's um... that extensive. I have learned a little Russian and beyond that just... too many interests, without much time being devoted to any of them. 19. Favourite song: I'm into "And Can It Ever Be?" anew, as I said above; also more recently "Your Honor" and "Ghost of Corporate Future" off Soviet Kitsch (aand, a bit awkwardly, "Hotel Song"). "You Or Your Memory" "Dance Music" "This Year" and "Up the Wolves" (which is to say that basically the larger part of my album rotation lately is Soviet Kitsch, The Sunset Tree, and Till We Have Faces)... 20. Random fact: I have been watching retro computer repair videos lately (Adrian's Digital Basement esp) and they've made me kinda want to learn to solder. Though I'm not sure whether I'll look into this before we're past current events or not. (Probably I'd start with some of the kits from Evil Mad Scientist Labs) 21. Aesthetic Standing in a broad-shouldered greatcoat surveying a wintry landscape, perhaps feeling powerful, but with a note of melancholy and humility to it. Welcoming a dear friend in, pet in arms, with an array of beautiful if homely chopped vegetables and prepared ingredients inside waiting to be cooked up. A hobbit math professor relaying an algebra theorem or a physics application. Walking near a wetland in a flannel, among the trees and wildlife.
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