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#umbrella academy
i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky · 2 days ago
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I'm the expert on the dead, remember?
The Umbrella Academy: 1x09 | 2x08 | 3x04
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muse-of-fandoms · 2 days ago
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If you were to study the powers the umbrella's have, it kinda starts making sense why Reggie nerfed them.
You have three people who can alter reality in various ways, someone who can travel throigh space and time, a dumbass who can control trajectory and by proxy physics and a guy who can survive 5 fucking years on the moon and tale a bazooka to the back
Vs
A dude with superstrength who dies in the first episode, woman who can make birds, weirdo who spits in your face, anti gravity, uno reverse and trauma cube
If the umbrellas were raised like the sparrows(with actual training and mental support) they would have figured out Reggie's an alien, the first apocalypse would have never happened and they have probably learned how to dimmension hop
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thehandl3r · 2 days ago
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Lila: *holding her newborn child* They’re so beautiful.
Doctor: We’re gonna have to give them some shots.
Lila: Oh, hell yeah! Pour up, it’s their birthday.
Diego: Lila no-
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thehargreevesfamily · 2 days ago
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Allison: Did you have to stab him?
Diego: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said to me.
Allison: What did he say?
Diego: “What are you going to do? Stab me?”
Five: That’s fair.
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kate-slytherclaw · 2 days ago
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Diego and Luther Hargreeves :
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At this point, you could tell me any line of dialogue was improvised in TUA and I'd believe you
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c0ffee-stain · 17 hours ago
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Whispers
Five Hargreeves x f!reader
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Blurb • Prologue - 1.0 • Chapter 1 - 1.01• Chapter 2 - 1.02 • Chapter 3 - 1.03
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Only proof read once so let me know if you noticed any errors in the chapter...
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Is Y/n taller than Five? Yes, yes she is. We need more taller Y/n's.
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Warning: Contains: Blood, fighting
A hopeless hunch
“So let me get this straight.” I licked my lips and let an exasperated grin tug on the corners of my mouth. “Your whole plan to stop the apocalypse, the hunch you've had that was so ground-breaking that you decided to escape from the most dangerous organisation in the universe and take me with you, is an eyeball?”
“A fucking eyeball?!”
Five threw the eye up into the air and caught it in his palm, taunting me. “Yes, y/n. Your life- no. Our lives are in the hands of whether this eye proves useful or not.”
“So stop sulking and let’s find out.”
I watched as the assassin walked into the large glass building and reluctantly followed him while muttering curses under my breath.
“Done with your tantrum?” Five asked the second I was nearby. I scoffed and sent a glare his way. I had every right to be mad at him. But it doesn't surprise me that he couldn't see that. I mean, with his lack of height and enormous ego that can be seen miles away, what would I expect?
"Just don't throw a huge scene. We don't want any more attention drawn to us." I said in a low voice. I had a feeling that things wouldn't go our way. Two suspicious teenagers ordering to find out who owned a specific glass eye that had mysteriously been found. They most likely won't give us any information which would just push Five over the edge, ending in an explosive fury of rage.
"I think your clothes are already doing that for us."
Ah, yes. The bright neon pink hoodie that made me want to rip my eyes out and the extremely uncomfortable jeans I was forced to steal from the pharmaceutical store. Walking around in ripped, bloody and oversized clothes was out of the question and I'd rather staple my face to my ass than wear one of the Umbrella Academy uniforms.
We entered a large office that dealt specifically with prosthetic eyes, and were immediately greeted by a middle aged man wearing a white lab coat.
"Uh, can I help you?"
"I need to know who this belongs to." Five approached him, holding the eye between his index and middle finger.
"Where did you get that?"
"Why do you care?"
I quickly cut in, giving a fake smile. "He found it at a playground, actually."
"Yeah, might've just..." He clicked his tongue. "popped out."
"I wanna return it to its rightful owner."
"Oh... what a thoughtful young man." The receptionist cooed.
Strike 1
Five clenched his jaw in annoyance and gave a forced smile. One of the things the Hargreeves hated most, was being treated like a kid or being undermined in anyway. For example, being called 'young man'.
"Yeah. Look up the name for me, will ya?"
"Uh, I'm sorry but patient records are strictly confidential." The man said. "That means I can't tell you-"
Strike 2
"Yeah, I know what it means." He shot back.
"But I'll tell you what I can do. I will take the eye off your hands and return it to the owner. I'm sure he or she will be very grateful, so if I can just--"
"Yeah, your not touching this eye." The boy clenched the eye tightly in his hand.
"Now, you listen here young man--"
Strike 3
Five grabbed the mans collar and shoved him down to his height, scowling at him with his eyes narrowed, giving him a menacing stare.
"No! You listen to me, asshole. I've come a long way for this, through some shit your pea brain couldn't even comprehend. So just give me the information I need, and we'll be off on our merry way."
As the man was going to open his mouth to respond, Five quickly cut in. "And if you call me 'young man' one more time, I'm going to put your head through that damn wall."
While Five had lost his calm and started to threaten the staff, I quickly snuck into a hallway which led to multiple offices and labs. I walked into the largest office, who I presumed to belong to the man outside, and rifled through the papers on his desk.
As I kneeled down to search the desks drawers for shipment and delivery references, the man walked in holding a phone to his ear.
"Yeah, some kids came in asking about the eyes." He spoke to whoever was on the other end of the line. "No, I didn't get busted by a couple of teenagers. They know nothing about it. Okay, I'll update you later." He hung up and let out a sigh.
The man turned towards one of the windows, peering down at the sky high view.
Luckily, he hadn't seen me yet. But if I tried to leave now, he'd definitely see and hear me run down the hall and call for security.
So much for not drawing attention to ourselves.
I quickly got up and dashed outside the room and down the hallway, hearing a loud, "Hey!" and the receptionist clicking the buttons on the desk phone, calling for security.
I ran out of the building in time and hid behind a pillar, watching 2 large bodied men run out of the exit, scanning their surroundings before returning back inside.
"Find anything?" Five appeared in front of me, readjusting his tie.
"No. What now?"
"I may have another idea." The boy then looked me up and down. I scrunched my brows in response. "But you're not gonna like it."
"It can't be as bad as Copenhagen '08, right?"
"This is definitely worse."
Five had sneaked us into the academy to prepare for whatever plan he had been building up in his mind. Every time I'd ask him on any of the details, he'd either tell me to wait or roll his eyes and blink away.
Asshole.
However the next time he blinked, which I presumed to be due to all my pestering questions, he had appeared with clothes draped over his shoulder.
"Put these on." He threw the material to my chest. Once I took a good look at it, I let out a sound between a scoff and a snort.
"You're not serious?" I asked him, aghast.
"Think of it as revenge for smashing my nose in," The boy blinked right in front of me, his face inches away from mine, "twice." Five then disappeared once again, leaving me to bathe in my own frustration.
I placed the outfit on the bed, my nose immediately scrunching in disgust. The uniform consisted of one navy blazer with a red outline, a blue and red plaid skirt, a red jumper with a strange square pattern, a tie, and a white blouse underneath it all.
In order to at least gain a sliver of the man-child's trust, I guess I had no choice but to wear the disgrace of a uniform.
I removed my clothes, feeling awkward to be changing in the childhood room of the person I was gladly double crossing, and slipped on only three of the pieces of clothing I was provided.
I buttoned up the white blouse and slipped on the skirt, grabbing the tie that sat idly on a chair, and wrapped in loosely around my collar.
I looked into the mirror and scowled. In a blink, I went from the best assassin in the Commission, to a lowly schoolgirl forced to follow a hopeless hunch. If they could see me now, I wouldn't be able to live it down.
Luckily, the skirt had pockets.
I left the room, not expecting to see an overly excited Klaus, and Five pinching the bridge of his nose.
The second they both let their gazes fall on my newly dressed figure, I received two very different reactions.
Klaus gasped immediately in amusement, “You’re coming with us too? And dressed in Allison’s uniform!” The man threw his arm around my shoulders, leaning all of his body weight on me.
Five on the other hand, looked as if he were about to explode into a million pieces. A pink hue dusted on his cheeks and his jaw was left agape. He glared daggers at me and said, “What are you wearing? Wears the rest of the uniform?”
“Does it matter, short stuff?” A smirk made its way onto my lips as Fives expression somehow became angrier. He looked as if he was experiencing Paradox Psychosis and skipped straight to stage 7.
“Don’t call me that and answer my question. Where. Is. The. Rest?” He jabbed his finger at my chest for each word of his question, while overly enunciating every vowel.
Before I could respond, Klaus cut in. “Calm down, Five. What’s got your panties in such a twist?” He then paused as a lightbulb lit in his head. “Ah, I get it...” Klaus smirked and looked behind him, nodding to an empty space.
Five's forehead creased as he looked up at his brother. He finally calmed his nerves and explained the long awaited plan.
"Okay, but just so we're clear on the finer details, I just gotta go into this place and pretend to be your dear old dad, correct?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"If your going to be his dad, you can't go out like that." I looked at the mans green and blue dotted button-up top, which had an odd looking outline of orange and puffs at the top of the sleeves.
"That's why we're going to raid the old mans closet."
Klaus hummed. "What's our cover story?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I mean, was I really young when I had you? Like, 16? Like young and..." I watched with a grin on my face, enjoying the view of Klaus annoying the shit out of his brother. Klaus sighed dramatically before saying, "terribly misguided?"
Five rolled his eyes, "Sure", thinking his brother had finally come to an end.
"Your mother, that slut. Whoever she was, we met at the- uhh," Klaus smiled and held his hands to his chest, "the disco." He chuckled as if reminiscing a heartfelt memory. "Okay? Remember that."
He then snapped his fingers. "Oh, my god, the sex was amazing..."
Klaus then looked at me and said, "And you, dear y/n, will be Five's girlfriend. I introduced you two and you just hit it off immediately."
A look of horror overcame both Five and I simultaneously.
"I wouldn't leave you two alone in a room because you'd just both go at it, y'know?"
"Klaus!" We both called out at once. Five and I made brief eye contact and immediately looked away.
"What? Okay, okay. You guys are--"
The assassin quickly cut in to stop anymore lewd thoughts from escaping his lips. "I don't think the nature of our relationship will come in useful, Klaus."
"For once, I agree."
"Fine, fine. But we're keeping the rest."
"What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain."
____
"Like I said to your son and his friend earlier, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential. Without the clients consent I simply can't help you."
"That and you don't want your clearly shady behaviour to get exposed, right?" I asked with a mock innocence. The man cleared his throat at my claim and readjusted himself on his chair.
"Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name." Five countered, leaning against the mans desk.
"Well, that's not my problem." He shrugged. "Sorry. Now there's really nothing more I can do, so--"
"And what about my consent?"
I looked towards Klaus, curious as to where he was going with this.
"Excuse me?"
"Who gave you permission, to lay your hands..." Klaus sniffled, working a sob into his words. "on my son?"
This genius motherfucker.
"What?" "What?" Both males responded, looking at the Hargreeves as if he were mad.
"You heard me."
"I didn't touch your son."
"Oh, really?" Klaus turned his head, facing me and gave me a knowing look. I grinned. I was going to have to thank him later.
He leaned in towards the man. "Well, then how did he get that swollen lip, then?" The man pointed towards Five and I.
"He doesn't have a swollen--"
Klaus gave me a nod. I stretched my arm behind me, giving Five a wink, before slamming my palm across his face with a great force.
Five's face flew to the side as he let out a loud grunt.
I gasped, covering my mouth with my hands. "You monster!" I cried out. "You hit my boyfriend!"
"I want it. Name, please. Now." Klaus demanded, towering over the man.
Five turned around with his mouth open. His lip was bleeding. He looked at me shocked, both from the sudden hit and me calling him my boyfriend.
"You're both crazy." he pointed his finger from me to Klaus.
Klaus chuckled. "You got no idea."
"I may be crazy, but you," I wiped a fake tear from my eyes. "You threatened to kill us all with this knife."
I took out a plastic bag from the shockingly large pocket of the skirt, and waved it around.
"That's my knife." The man muttered in astonishment.
"Yes. I found it earlier today when I was sneaking around."
I revealed the blade and sliced it through my arm, just enough to draw a little blood. "Now, when the cops come, to help our claim of you attacking us, they're gonna find this little trinket of evidence."
"You- You can't do that!"
Klaus laughed as he picked up a snow globe that sat on his desk. "'Peace on Earth.' That's so sweet." The snow globe shattered into pieces as he slammed in against his forehead.
Klaus groaned in pain and slowly lifted his head to reveal blood trickling down his face. "God, that hurt."
The man reached for his desk phone, terrified. "I'm calling secur--"
"What are you doing?!"
"There's been an assault... in Mr. Big's office, and we need security, now. Schnell!" He threw the phone that he had snatched out of the doctors hand back onto the table.
"Now here's what's gonna happen, Grant."
"It's... Lance."
"In about 60 seconds, two security guards are gonna burst through that door and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood, and they're gonna wonder, 'What the hell happened?' And we're going to tell them that you... beat the shit out of us!" He cried, sobbing dramatically before sighing.
"You're gonna do great in prison, Grant. Trust me, I've been there. Little piece of chicken like you. Oh my god, you're gonna get passed around like a..." Klaus rotated his hips in a circular motion. "You just- you're gonna do great. That's all I'm saying."
"Jesus, you really are a sick bastard." Grants voice trembled.
"Thank you." Klaus spit out a shard of glass.
Finally, after a small moment of literal bloodshed and blackmail, Grant was intimidated enough to lead us to a filing cabinet and found the correct dossier, opening it up to provide us with the, so-called, apocalypse-preventing information.
"Oh, that's strange." He hummed.
"What?"
"Uh, the eye. It hasn't been purchased by a client yet."
"What? What do you mean?" Klaus approached the man with no regard for personal space, peering over his shoulder.
"Well, uh, our logs say that the eye with that serial number... This can't be right. It hasn't even been manufactured yet." Grant looked up at Five.
"Where did you get that eye?"
"Well, this is not good." Five sighed as we exited the building. I bit down onto my lip, evaluating how this turn of events was going to affect my situation. What do I even tell The Handler?
"I was pretty good, though, right? 'Yeah, what about my consent, bitch?'"
"That doesn't matter, Klaus." Even though I was pretty annoyed, that was nowhere near compared to Five's frustration. His siblings and his own life, depended on this single glass orb. And without it, they’re doomed.
He stared at Klaus with his jaw clenched and face twitching, as if it were begging for the boy to release all of his anger.
"What? What? What's the big deal with this eye, anyway?"
"There is someone out there who's going to lose an eye in the next seven days. They're gonna bring the end to this Earth as we know it." He walked past his brother and towards my figure that was sat on the steps, looking out into the distance.
"So, we're back where we started.” I threw a loose pebble towards the road swarming with cars. “We’re as good as dead."
Disregarding the intensity if the situation, Klaus asked nonchalantly, “Yeah, can I get that 20 bucks now, or what?”
“Your 20 bucks?”
"Yeah, my 20 bucks."
Five craned his neck towards his brother. "The apocalypse is coming, and all you can think about is getting high?"
"Well, I'm also a quite hungry." He persisted. "Tummy's a-rumbling'."
I dropped my head to my hands. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
"You're useless. You're all useless!" Five yelled, raising his voice enough to hear the venom laced between his words.
"Oh, come on." Five sat next to me on the steps. "You need to lighten up, old man."
"I've just now realised why you're so uptight. You must be horny as hell!" Klaus laughed. He took a seat next to Five. "All those years by yourself. It's gotta be screwing with your head, being alone."
"I'm surprised you and y/n aren't together. I mean, you guys are practically the same."
I shook my head. "We're nothing alike."
"Well, I wasn't alone." Five said. I furrowed my brows in confusion. The files on Five clearly stated that he spent years in solitary when stuck in the midst of the apocalypse. No other survivor apart from him were reported.
"Oh? Pray tell."
"Her name was Delores. We were together for over 20 years."
Okay, now I was really confused. Five didn't seem like the delusional type.
"20 years? Oh, wow!" Klaus chuckled. "God, the longest I've been with someone was... I don't know, 3 weeks. And that's only because I was looking for a place to sleep--"
Five wrapped his fingers around my wrist tightly, triggering a stomach wrenching feeling to overcome my senses. I blinked a few times, finding myself sitting next to Five in a random passing taxi. The taxi-man gasped.
"Don't stop. Just keep going."
"So, the eye was a dead end. What spectacular plan of yours is going to fail next?"
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What about my money?" Klaus exclaimed as he saw us pass by in the taxi. Five gave him a wave in response.
"We're going to visit an old friend of mine."
"Speaking of old friends, in the apocalypse," I began. "there was no-one else but you. Nothing. No living, breathing thing, but you. Who on earth is Delores?"
The driver gave me a concerned look in the mirror. "It's for a videogame." I snapped, making him concentrate on his driving.
"Well," Five sighed. "That's who we're going to see."
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A loud rumble, followed by a crash of thunder erupted throughout the dark sky, which was heavily guarded by a storm of clouds. Five had blinked us into a closed retail store. The patter of rain echoed against the window, filling the silence of the store.
Walking deeper into the store I got the sudden feeling of a pair of eyes burning holes in the back of my head. I turned around, expecting to see something other than a rack of clothes.
Five took a flashlight from a display in hand and directed its light towards a stand of mannequins.
'They're coming.' A voice hissed in my ears. The shadows around me started to shift into incoherent letters and shapes, the longer the voices spoke, and a small yet significant tingling sensation started to spread through my veins.
‘You have no choice but to release us.’
‘Show the world who you really are.’
“Delores.”
I looked up to see Five gazing softly at a brunette mannequin with a look that seemed impossible for him to make.
A look of care and comfort.
To a mannequin, nevertheless. I guess I wasn't wrong when I said he was the only living, breathing thing left.
“It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you.. obviously.” The boy spoke. “Well I…” He sighed. “It’s been a rough couple of days.”
‘They’re here.’ It cackled.
“Uh, Five.” I interrupted. “I don’t think now is the right time for a love sick monologue.”
My eyes fell on a large hammer that was hanging on display in the garden section, and quickly took it in hand.
I turned to face two outlines of a pair of assassins wearing animal cartoon masks and holding a machine gun each, instantly recognising who they belonged to.
"Fuck me."
They raised their guns, hooking their fingers around the trigger and shooting a storm of bullets our way.
I threw myself out of the way and behind a large metal shelf to be shielded from the seemingly endless stream of bullets.
"NO!" Five barked. He ducked, letting the bullets plummet through the mannequins behind him.
There goes Delores.
I ran along the sides of the store, gradually getting closer to Hazel. The second I was close enough, I slammed the hammer to the side of his face, causing him to stumble to the side and lose his balance. I kicked him in the knee, but just as I was about to knock him out for good, he threw his elbow to my face.
"Shit."
I ducked as he swung the barrel of the gun towards me, only to retaliate by sending a burst of attacks with the hammer to his stomach. Before he could pierce my body with holes, I ran out of the way and hid between racks of clothing.
'Use us. We can help you.'
I bit down on my lip. "Fine." I muttered under my breath.
I placed my palm onto the floor and closed my eyes, feeling the darkness devour my veins. A swirl of dark liquified energy lifted from the shadows beneath me and swirled around my hand, before being released into the surroundings.
A shiver ran down my spine. The sudden release of adrenaline made me smirk ever so slightly at the small act of my power.
God, I missed that feeling.
The feeling of total corruption.
"You see that?" Cha-cha spoke underneath the mask, referring to Five blinking away from her attacks.
"You said he was special." Hazel responded.
"What about the girl? She do anything special?"
"Apart from bashing me in with a hammer, nothing."
"All right." Cha-cha nodded. "You start over there, I'll go to the other end. Meet in the middle. We're going after the boy first."
"Shoot anything that moves."
I watched them approach Five's hiding place, and whispered a subtle "Attack."
Five used a gardening tool and blinked towards Cha-cha and sliced her neck. Cha-cha let out a strained groan, loud enough for her partner to hear.
The second Hazel sent a shot towards their directions, he let out a scream muffled by his mask as something curved around his legs, clawing the cloth off his trousers and skin off his limbs.
I waved my hand in an upward motion, the energy merging back into the shadows of the floor.
"You!" Hazel pointed the barrel of his gun towards me and fired. I sprinted down the row between an endless row of clothes rack, ducking to evade the bullets.
I held my breath and stumbled forward as a bullet infiltrated the layer of skin of my shoulder. I breathed heavily as I proceeded to run, clenching my shoulder with the palm of my hand to try stop the bleeding.
"Five!" I whisper-shouted. "Where are you?"
"Y/n!" He hissed back. The boy had a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and gave me, I think my eyes deceived me, a concerned look the second he saw my bloodied hand over the gunshot wound in my shoulder.
"Come on." He took my free hand and led me down the store as the assassin duo followed us, close on our tail.
A flash of blue blinded me for a moment and I shut my eyes, preparing for the wave of nausea to hit, only for us not to blink and remain in the war-zone of a retail store.
"Shit!" He cursed, attempting to blink. His grip on my hand tightened as he attempted to activate his power once more. "Ugh! Come on!" He growled.
"They're close." I told him through laboured breaths. Gunshots echoed in the distance which forced us to run further.
"Got 'em!" The duo pointed their weapons at us, the torch on top of the barrels illuminating our faces.
'WE CAN SAVE YOU.'
Tires screeching against the concrete roads followed by the high pitched screams of police sirens caught their attention, giving us enough time to jump over a cashier desk and stay hidden until they were convinced we jumped.
Another pained groan and wave of dizziness caught me off guard.
"Shit," I heard the boy murmur. "Let me see."
I did as he said and revealed the wound, my short sleeve rolled up as far as it could go.
"Has it gone through?" I panted.
"No. It's lodged in there." He sighed. "Alright, I think I'm ready to jump."
"I still stand by what I said."
"Oh?" Five hummed. "And what's that?"
A grin grew on my lips, revealing a brief flash of white.
I chuckled deeply. "We're as good as dead."
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This chapter was way longer than I had anticipated for it to be… but it was worth it~
Only proof read once so let me know if you noticed any errors in the chapter...
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Tag List for Whispers 🏷
Comment if you’d like to be included.
@ameagrice @inksplattersblog @coraldeeznutsz @valtrezzz @dj-loopylou @l4vly-k1ss3s @fanfics-welcome @urmomsfling @darklingsgrl @honestlyspeedytree @bitch-bee @rogue17 @literally-a-ferret @jeeminyo @nvmkyuu @navs-bhat @muitifandomblogs @honestlyvore @winchestertittieses @dhdhdhdhdhdjjs @crankgameplayssimp @rainyroads @unomomonono @hon3y-c0mb @kisslie @danis-stuff-is-here @ayoitsmickey @xjsbk @001andeddiearetodiefor @cutelittleescapingsenses
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r3yofsunshine · 2 days ago
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<3
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lyssak09 · 2 days ago
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more yandere five? i’m not quite sure what—maybe a soft!reader who still hates him?
Thank you so much for asking! This post very short. But I will add more to it everytime I get an idea for it. Also this probably sucks. I didn't know exactly how to write a soft!reader
Yandere Five with soft!reader hcs
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Five loves how kind and helpful you are. Even if you're upset with someone you still help them.
Since you're so caring Five loves to 'be hurt' so you'll worry and try to take care of him
He is still snarky but not as much. He doesn't want to accidently hurt you.
Him being separated from you for years broke him. When he finally sees you again he isn't letting go.
If you try to fight back then he'll get mean
"Stop crying! It isn't gonna get you anywhere. There isn't and use in trying to escape. So shut it and finish dinner" Five said as he started to walk towards the living room to finish his drink. You sat there trying to compose yourself and mumbled out an apology.
When five comes back to the house and hr is injured then you'll clean his wounds and not say a word. You hate him but you can't let another being hurt.
This will cause Five to delusion. You obviously love him. If you didn't then why are you taking care of him.
And when you're sad why would you go to him for comfort and affection if you didn't love him.
So Five will start to spiral. You love him right? So he can do certain things with and to you. Right? There is nothing wrong with that. Thats what couple truly in love do. And that is what you two are. Right?
After an argument or a punishment you might go to Five for comfort. It doesn't matter if he was the one who brought you to need it. You just need someone to hold you and tell you everything will be okay.
Since you're a sweetheart, there will be less arguments which means there will be less punishments.
Five will bring you comfort objects to keep you happy while he is gone. And he will hold you and not let go when he his home.
Even though you're a sweetheart, Five is still a mean yandere. Just not as mean as he could be. He will still yell though and degrade you a bit. But after, when you need comfort he will apologize and hold you
"I'm sorry love. You need to learn your place though. You're so sweet and beautiful. You're mine. You need to learn that. Everyone needs to. You belong to me. I love you"
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Five will make you wear his clothes. Like his hoodies and his suit jacket from time to time. It just melts his heart. You look extra adorable and sweet in them.
He is extra possessive with your little sweet self. If he saw you helping one of his brothers before he kidnapped you then he will loose it. Five will fist fight his brothers and scream at you. You should know better than to give your attention to others! They don't deserve your help or time.
You can try to manipulate him but he thinks its cute. He loves it when you try to use affection to manipulate him.
Five won't hurt you. No matter how much you upset him. He knows you're too soft and fragile to actually upset him on purpose. And maybe you can use it to your advantage but very unlikely that it will work.
You probably do things for Five that unintentionally make him happy.
Five will make you love on him. Especially after you've been upset by him. So You'll just sit there trying not cry and slowly embrace his affection
No matter how much you hate him. You just can't show it. That adds to hus delusion.
Just feed his delusions and everything will be fine
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superannoyedkid · 9 hours ago
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brendyrambles · 9 hours ago
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It's so funny how a lot of characters in TUA tell five that he's addicted to apocalypse (in one way or another) when the possibility of the apocalypse itself is still looming over him and all of them
It's like telling someone who just recently got away from their kidnapper that he's obsessed and paranoid for keeping warning people even though they all know that the kidnapper is still on the loose and can hurt them anytime soon
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Five & Klaus + parallels (part 12)
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shenanigansam · 2 days ago
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Nothing will ever top the absolute chaos that was watching umbrella academy season 2 for the first time. Klaus started a cult? Ben is singing the Backstreet Boys? Luther turned into a very hairy wannabe gladiator for a mob boss? Diego was called a batman, but aimed lower? Olga Foroga? The board scene? The MUSIC? That whole season was like an acid trip and I wish I could watch it for the first time again.
It's also the reason I was absolutely ready to accept the Footloose dance battle as real, lol
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thehandl3r · 14 hours ago
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Klaus addressing himself whenever he enters a room:
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thehargreevesfamily · 2 days ago
Conversation
Diego: Hey, Klaus?
Klaus: Dave used to call me that...
Diego: Cause it’s your fucking name.
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solitary-bimble · 2 days ago
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Never Do That Again p3 {FivexReader}
Five inadvertently hurts (y/n)'s feelings. When the briefcase method of going back to the future fails, their anxiety sky-rockets, and other psychological issues they have begin to present themselves.
Gender-neutral pronouns used
warnings/tags: prequel, foul-language, platonic!klaus, slight slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers, abandonment issues, dead bodies, comic-relief reader
wordcount: 6,322
a/n: i'm sorry this took so long! lost the draft for this at a little over 5000 words, so had to re-write it all from scratch. more to come <3
sequel - p1 - p2 - p3
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(y/n) gazed out the window, eyes following each passing tree as they tried their best not to make some ridiculous comment. The silence had been unbearable. The air was thick with tension. (y/n) hadn't known what they'd said to make Five insult them all of a sudden - The conversation had been going well up until that point.
Thankfully, the quiet didn't last much longer. The two had gotten into the barely occupied countryside where Viktor resided. An upcoming car caught their attention when they observed the driver as someone they recognized, "Is that Viktor-?" They questioned as the cars passed one another.
Five was quick to slam on the breaks, (y/n)'s seat-belt digging into their skin causing them to wince softly, "Stay here." Five asserted simply before unbuckling his belt and getting out of the car.
(y/n) watched through the rear-view mirror as the two met halfway between the two vehicles, staying put as they were told to. From what information they had, they knew Viktor likely wouldn't want to leave what he felt was his new family, surely there was to be conflict on some level. They didn't want to get in the middle of it.
"What are you doing here?" (y/n) was able to hear Viktor ask through the open driver-side door.
"Looking for you." Five responded, pulling his wristwatch out of his pocket and noting the time on it, "We're going back to 2019." He explained in short.
Viktor looked to him in confusion, "What are you talking about?"
"Look, I don't really have time to explain right now, but I found a way home." Five said, brows furrowed in determination, "Alright? We have thirty minutes to leave." He turned back to walk to the car.
"What about my friends?" Viktor protested, making Five turn back around, "I can't just leave them here."
"Viktor, you don't have a choice in this, alright? Doomsday will happen if you don't come with me." He shook his head.
(y/n) shifted in discomfort, their anxiety growing rapidly. Not only were they shit-scared for this doomsday, but they just wanted to see the odd and dysfunctional family, all together in one place. Selfishly, part of it was because they wanted to be a part of it. They desperately wanted a family of sorts to stick with. The Hargreeves were quite literally all they had. They clung to any relationship they could. Even their toxic dynamic with Five was worth holding onto - it had been better than most things they'd had.
"Okay, then I'm bringing them with me!" Viktor stated firmly.
"They belong in this timeline!" Five asserted, exasperated.
"Says who?" Viktor burst, voice quivering, "Sissy deserves a life where she doesn't have to pretend to be someone she's not! And Harlan? There's a name for what he has, we can get him the help he needs!" He tried to convince.
"Viktor," Five breathed, looking nearly sorry.
"Look, a mom and her eight-year-old son are not gonna screw up the timeline, Five!" Viktor about screamed, body almost trembling, "They're insignificant."
Five took a step toward him, "No one is insignificant." He contradicted, "I'm sorry, alright? But we can't take that risk." He looked to his brother with the utmost genuinity, "They have to stay."
He began walking toward the car again, "Come on." He said, voice hush.
"Why do you get to decide?" Viktor flared his nostrils, "You're the reason we're stuck here in the first place."
Five turned, looking at him with disbelief, "If I did nothing, we would all be dead right now, thanks to you." He retorted.
"They're coming with me," Viktor affirmed once more.
"Viktor, do not test me right now." Five's voice lowered as he stepped toward him.
A small, almost sinister smile seemed to set over Viktor's features, "That's funny." He said, stepping forward as Five had done.
(y/n)'s jaw clenched when they observed Viktor's eyes change from their lovely deep brown to a blindingly bright white, they even seemed to be glowing. Unbuckling their belt in a panic, they began talking to themself, "Please, God. If there's a Hell, don't send me there. I know I've done my fair share of fucked up shit, but I swear, I have a hell of a good heart." They uttered, pushing their door open, "Shit--I didn't mean, like, a heart good for hell. Just, like, a really good heart.." They corrected themself, quickly approaching the two in their overpowered staring contest.
Five stuck an arm out, ushering (y/n) behind him as a blue glow surrounded his hands, refusing to break the eye contact with his brother, who showed no signs of backing down any time soon.
"Viktor, please take a moment and think about this properly." They plead from over Five's shoulder.
The firm expression on Viktor's face seemed to momentarily falter as he took a quick glance at them, seeing the anxiety written over their face.
The big and scary glowing staring contest lasted all of ten seconds before the two powered down, and Viktor spoke,
"Fine."
"'Fine,' what?" Five questioned, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"I'll be there," Viktor uttered, "But I need to say goodbye first." He finished, turning around and wandering back to his car, his words making Five's shoulders hunch, "Viktor, we don't have the time." He sighed.
"Well, it's either that or I'm not coming," Viktor affirmed, pulling his door open.
Five scoffed softly, turning back to the car, "The alley." He began, "Don't be late."
With that, Viktor drove off, the irritating sound of the tires skidding against the gravel almost pushing (y/n) over the edge as they got back into the passenger seat, a huff of air escaping their nose.
"Are you dense?" Five questioned, all of a sudden irked as he settled in his seat.
"What are you on about now?" (y/n) sighed, putting on their seatbelt, looking over to see him grumpily strapping himself in.
"What were you thinking? Do you have any idea what he's capable of?" He looked over in a state of disbelief.
(y/n) almost laughed, "What, you want me to just sit and watch when I know there's a threat?" They furrowed their brows.
"Yeah, actually." He grumbled, putting his foot down, sending the car forward with all the power it had, causing (y/n)'s body to all of a sudden press back into its seat, "You need to stay out of danger, no matter how small you perceive the threat to be." He asserted, "What would you have done if things went south just now?"
"Could you just shut up and drive? It doesn't matter - no one got hurt, it's done." Their grumbling sounded much like his own.
"No, I can't. I need to be sure that if a situation like that arises, you'll never do that again, you idiot." He shook his head.
"Dickhead - I can handle myself. When I don't think I can deal with something, I won't." They uttered, crossing their arms firmly over their chest, "If I hadn't come and said something, you might've ended up dead. So, with that in mind, you're fucking welcome."
Five hesitated. (y/n) wasn't wrong. They had helped to diffuse the situation. Without their little piece, Viktor might not have backed down. Sure, he may have backed down regardless, but (y/n) was sure to have helped.
"Not sure why you care so much anyway.." They muttered under their breath, staring down at their feet.
Five found himself a bit choked up, "I don't." He rushed to say, "When you're with me, I'm responsible for you, got it? I don't need Klaus on my ass if you get hurt or worse. Otherwise, I couldn't give less of a shit." A lie surrounded by truth. Of course, he cared, but he'd never admit to that - Although, he certainly didn't need Klaus all up in his shit.
(y/n) ignored the faint pain that resonated within their chest, gazing out the window in refusal to speak another word. The newfound silence had been more unbearable than the last.
The two found themselves parked nearby the arrival alley, with about ten minutes to spare. Five got out of the car, seemingly over his small quarrel with (y/n) about their safety, wandering into the alley with them following a short distance behind. As they rounded a corner, they spotted Luther pacing about in his own state of concern.
"Where is everyone?" He questioned, taking a step toward Five, who observed his surroundings, a bitter smile setting on his face,
"You're the first." He said, a look of disbelief passing over Luther's features,
"What?" He uttered, earning only a nod from his brother.
Not a moment passed before Klaus came stumbling around the corner, shivering and gurgling as he seemed to almost be fighting with himself,
"We made it-!" He strained, the three in the alley looking at him with deep confusion. (y/n) had somewhat of a theory, being the only person knowing Ben was around, they figured he had something to do with it.
They all watched with concern as he struggled with himself, projectile vomiting moments later and falling to his knees, then down flat on his back with his limbs sprawled out over the harsh asphalt pavement.
(y/n) was quick to drop to his side, bombarding him with questions all relating to if he was okay as he groaned and shuddered.
Luther scoffed, "I can't believe it." He shook his head, "I mean, you're here." He said in disbelief, gesturing toward Klaus.
Five pulled up his watch to check the time, "We've got eight minutes left." He grumbled, watching as (y/n) attempted to nurse Klaus back into his senses.
"I just had the strangest dream.." Klaus whimpered, gripping onto (y/n)'s arm, who did their best to help him chill out, quietly uttering words of assurance.
"Where are the others?" Five about shouted.
For context, Allison was with Raymond, saying her goodbyes when they were essentially ambushed by the Swedes.
Viktor had taken off with Sissy and her son, Harlan. The three were inevitably stopped by the police, due to Sissy's mistake of leaving her shitbird of a husband a farewell note, which just ended up giving him a heads up to call the cops.
Diego had obviously gotten word to Klaus, though on the way back to the alley, he stopped to bury dear Elliott, where he was found by Lila, who subsequently roofied and kidnapped him, taking him to the Handler and proposing he be her sidekick.
In short, they were fucked. All the four in the alley could do was wait and hold onto hope. The remaining eight minutes were close to hellish, with Luther and Five pacing around and Klaus uttering all kinds of incoherent nonsense while (y/n) tried to feed him snack bars they'd stolen from the vending machine that Five had smashed during his assassination of the board of directors.
(y/n) seemed to be panicking more than anyone else. They'd been doing quite well with all the new information. You know, superhero siblings, doomsday, Five being a total douche, but it all now seemed to be taking quite the toll on them. Distracting themself with nursing Klaus seemed to be their saving grace, keeping them from bursting into tears at any given moment.
"We've got a minute left!" Luther all of a sudden slammed his fist down onto the lid of the dumpster, the noise startling (y/n), close to pushing them past their limit.
Klaus spoke hoarsely, "What's going on, guys? Are we going somewhere..?"
"Supposed to be.." Uttered (y/n), looking down at him from their sitting position beside him, pulling their knees up to their chest.
"It was a simple task.." Five grumbled, "It was a simple task!" He suddenly rose his voice, "All we had to do was be here!"
(y/n) looked over at him, his pacing and rambling making them all the more upset,
"Didn't have to fight a giant sea monster, no. An army of mutants? Nein." He said through clenched teeth, "It was handed to us on a silver platter!"
"Could you just moan a little softer?" Klaus complained, pushing himself up to sit with (y/n)'s assistance, "My head is killing me."
Five looked to him with the utmost anger, "Listen to me, you useless puke bag," He stepped toward him, "We just blew our chance to save the world!" He about shouted into his brother's ear.
(y/n) had zoned out, staring off into an abyss, their hearing tuned into only the imaginary clock ticking in their head, though soon; all heads turned to face the briefcase when it began charging up and clicking.
With hesitation, Five picked it up and threw it into the air just before it disappeared in an almost blinding flash of blue light.
He huffed, arms dropping limply to his sides, "We were that close." He sighed, continuing in his pacing as he contemplated another solution.
"Now what?" Luther questioned, an elbow resting atop the dumpster.
Klaus gazed over at (y/n), barely in it, but it certainly wasn't hard to tell they weren't doing great. He simply put an arm around them, pulling them toward him in a firm side-hug, frowning when he saw their bottom lip quiver.
"Now nothing, Luther, alright? Make your peace with God!" Five said through clenched teeth.
"What?" Luther furrowed his brows, "What about Allison and Viktor?" He shook his head.
"Screw them both. They should have been here." Five stated with little regard.
"What about Diego?" Klaus mumbled, looking to his younger-older brother, "He's quite a responsible young man, no?"
Five grunted, taking his anger out on a damp cardboard box with a harsh kick, receiving a foul look from (y/n).
"Something must've happened to them, surely.." They murmured, picking at the skin around their nails.
Five about rolled his eyes, "Screw Diego, alright? Screw everybody!" He yelled, looking between the three, "I was better off on my own in the apocalypse."
"Five, don't." (y/n) sighed, shaking their head. They knew he didn't mean it, that he was just upset, and rightfully so, but after what happened to them, they became a firm believer in jinxing.
"Yeah, Five, come on." Luther defended.
"You know what? It's every man for himself now! How 'bout that?" With that, he walked off and through a door that no one had even noticed was there, slamming it shut behind him.
"Did Five just get meaner?" Klaus whimpered.
(y/n) was quick to push themself up off the ground and follow after Five, ignoring Luther's calls behind them. Five was literally all their saving grace. He was the only person who knew anything about this mess. He was not going to get away with just fucking walking off without providing an explanation. (y/n) was sure he had a backup plan.
"(y/n), where are you going?" He questioned, looking to them in disbelief.
They only kept walking, giving him no reply.
"(y/n), don't leave!" Klaus cried out, grabbing their attention.
With a gentle sigh, they turned to face the two, "What?" They asked, tone flatter than anyone had ever heard it.
"Shouldn't we.. y'know, make a plan?" Luther raised an eyebrow.
"Fine. Luther, deal with that asswipe. Klaus and I will find everyone else." They replied sharply, offering Klaus a hand to pull him up.
Luther made no argument, giving only a simple nod before turning around and jogging over to and through that door.
Klaus hadn't really ever seen (y/n) without a big and goofy smile plastered on their face. If he hadn't been feeling so out of it, he might've been better help. Despite his body and brain feeling like mush, he could tell all of it was having a negative effect on them. He couldn't quite piece together why - He knew part of it was doomsday, that would upset just about anyone, but he felt like there had to be more to it.
He grunted as (y/n) pulled him up, taking a moment to stabilize himself before turning to look at what they could only assume was Ben, "You…" Klaus uttered, pointing an accusing finger at the thin air, "You have had your possession privileges revoked."
(y/n) did a coveted eye roll, exiting the alley with Klaus stumbling along behind them, shouting and complaining about something to do with Ben staying out of him. They didn't even bother asking him what had happened. It wasn't difficult to figure out.
The two made the short trek to Allison's house in silence. Klaus wasn't sure if he should say anything to (y/n) or not, given their obvious irritation. They didn't just seem irritated though. They seemed, angry and sad. He decided he'd better just keep his mouth shut, figuring if they wanted to talk about it, they probably would.
When they got to the cute little residence and knocked, they were met with Raymond, who kept the door opened only a minimal amount.
Klaus greeted him with a large grin, "Hey, Ray-Ray! We're so sorry it's late, but, uh--" Raymond was quick to cut him off,
"Klaus, now is not a good time." He said, voice kept hush.
"Oh, I'm sorry.." Klaus murmured, eyes wandering to spot Allison over Raymond's shoulder, "Allison-! Hey!" He exclaimed, pushing past him to get to her, engulfing her in a tight hug, "We were so worried about you! Thank God you're okay." He breathed, pulling away, "What's the matter? You guys have been wrastling in here or something?"
(y/n) shuffled on in, offering Raymond only an awkward smile as they made it past him, coming to view the current scene in the living room, the dead man on the couch making them briefly pause in their tracks, "Oh, shit.." They uttered.
Allison only gestured toward the corpse in response to Klaus' questioning. He wasn't at all phased, a simple 'oh' escaping his mouth, "I see.."
(y/n) was already cuffing up their pants and readjusting the shirt tied around their waist when Klaus approached the body for a better look, "So, it's gonna be one of those kinda nights, huh?" He pursed his lips, turning back around to face Allison and Raymond.
"So!" (y/n) began, "Are we burning it?"
"Or burying?" Klaus finished for them, rolling up his sleeves.
They were like a pair of creepy twins. Extremely un-identical, and not related in any way, shape or form, but creepy. Maybe not twins. Just a pair of creeps. * * Five & Luther * *
The door in the alley apparently lead straight back into Elliott's lofty home.
Luther had conked out on the couch after learning nothing about what Five was doing, waking up to him chugging a large cup of water, brows furrowed in concern at his brother's odd demeanour,
"Five? Are you okay?" Luther questioned, taking a step toward him.
Five gasped and heaved after slurping every last drop of water in that cup, "I'm gonna need to be hydrated." He stated with a sigh.
"Hydrated?" Luther's face scrunched with confusion as he watched him stuff baby powder into the sleeves of his shirt, "What's with the baby powder?"
"It'll help with the itching." Five said as though it was obvious.
"What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here?" He shook his head puzzledly, face then dropping to an expression of conviction when he realised, "You do have a plan."
Five huffed, "Well, it's a desperation move, but…" He picked up his blazer from the table, "Since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."
"No choice about what?" Luther clued.
Five about rolled his eyes, making no effort to conceal his irritation, "I have to find myself." He uttered, pulling a watch out of his pocket, noting the time, "I just arrived in Dallas fifteen minutes ago." In this situation, he'd typically feel… well, not irked, but despite his work ethic and skill at compartmentalising, he was having a hard time distancing himself from feelings about a certain someone. It had really been eating away at him.
Luther took a breath, "Should I be worried about you?" He asked flatly.
Five ignored this, "Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963," He strained, doing some stretches, "On a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated."
Luther's eyes widened in realisation, "Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there."
Five stretched his neck out, "Precisely." He exhaled.
"What, just walking around Dallas?" Luther blinked, brows furrowed inquisitively.
"Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home." Five elaborated.
He then went on to list the problems, relating to himself being the, and I quote, 'The most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum.' He could almost hear (y/n) teasing and belittling him for the comment.
He also went on to quote the Commission Handbook. Chapter 27, subsection 3b, to be exact. The seven stages in a paradox psychosis, something like that. Again, he could about picture (y/n) mocking him, poorly mouthing his ramble.
It was odd, he couldn't place why, but they were almost on the forefront of his mind. It was driving him absolutely mad - He had a task, and he was being bothered by some belligerent and childish fool, who wasn't even in close proximity to him. * * Klaus & (y/n) * *
"God, why are people so much heavier when they're dead?" Allison grumbled as she tied a string around the bottom of the rolled-up carpet. The carpet which held the dead body of the Swede.
(y/n) made no comment, tying a knot in the middle of the rug. Of course, they knew this. They'd hidden one or two dead bodies in their 1960's run.
"You got a lot of practice at this?" Raymond looked to her in concern.
She replied simply by sending him a look. Was it threatening or just tired? No one could tell, but Raymond shut his mouth real quick.
Klaus was sat on the couch, doing nothing to help, talking to who (y/n) knew was Ben. Allison had believed ghosts couldn't time travel, courtesy of Klaus, who for whatever reason took a lot of enjoyment out of torturing his deceased brother this way,
"It was like sex with one of the lesser Baldwins." He spoke out of nowhere, "I mean, you can feel him clattering around in there, but do you really care?" Allison looked at him in confusion. Raymond made no comment, too close to a mental breakdown to care.
When the knots were tied, the three hoisted the body up with much strain, only to then drop it in a fright when Diego and a little dude with a snazzy suit and glasses zapped into the space.
Diego quickly familiarized himself, stumbling slightly, "Alright, you're both here - We gotta go." He announced firmly.
"Diego, Jesus!" Allison exclaimed, taking a breath and composing herself.
"Wow! Number Two, Three, and Four!" The small man chuckled, "We almost have an Umbrella straight flush here."
"Bro, who is this guy?" (y/n) questioned, gesturing toward him, though received no answer.
In exasperation, Allison introduced Diego, "Ray, this is my other brother, Diego."
Diego wandered over to Ray, giving him a firm handshake, "Hey, man. Sorry to crash in here like this."
"Uh, did anyone hear (y/n)? Who is this guy?" Klaus repeated for them.
"Herb. He worked with Five at the Commission." Diego replied as Herb gave a small wave and a charming grin.
"The Commission?" Klaus wondered aloud.
"We monitor and maintain the time-space continuum," Herb explained, a small nod for emphasis.
"Okay…" Klaus uttered with no ounce of belief.
"No, no. Five was telling me about it. They have movie directors and they aren't allowed to listen to jazz." (y/n) knew that was entirely incorrect, but they knew if Five were there with them, it would have pissed him off an ungodly amount, and they took joy in that. Klaus was smart enough to know what they'd said wasn't the case, and it sure got a laugh out of him. Just the deadpan delivery of it would've been enough.
Herb looked to them in confusion, but wasn't able to say anything before Diego spoke in excitement,
"No, for real. I was just there. It's awesome." He looked about ready to burst, "Okay, I got to look at the timeline. I know what causes doomsday." Everyone looked to him with anticipation when he paused, "It's Viktor."
"Wait, what?" Allison furrowed her brows, "How?"
(y/n) pursed their lips. They felt awful for this lot - trouble just seemed to be following them. Anyone else would want to avoid the Hargreeves family out of sheer terror of being involved in all this chaos, but oddly, it made (y/n) want to stick around even more. Not in the sense that it was fun or interesting - though it was definitely an adventure - but in the sense that they wanted to be able to provide some sort of help, or at least comfort and a kind of relief. Comic relief, probably. (y/n)'s situational stupidity was unchallenged, it was hilarious.
Klaus stood up and approached them with concern, brows furrowed as he listened,
"He's gonna blow up the federal building at Dealy Plaza just as the president's passing through," He paused, quickly checking his watch, "In less than one hour." He breathed, "We gotta go find him and stop him, now."
"Wait, Viktor kills the president?" Allison's face contorted with confusion.
"No, no, no," Diego shook his head, "See, the explosion causes the motorcade to drive off. Kennedy lives. Everybody thinks Russia's behind it, including the president. He strikes back, they strike back. Before you know it, it's raining nukes." He further explained.
"Okay, um…"
"Holy shit."
"Why the fuck are we standing around? Let's fucking rock and roll, people, holy fuck!" (y/n) exclaimed, arms waving around for emphasis.
Raymond was hyperventilating, drawing Allison's attention. She rushed over, taking him by the hand, "Are you okay?" She questioned.
"No, I'm not okay." He panted, "First of all, this son of a bitch beams into our living room," He pointed at Herb, "With yet another one of your brothers, and he's talking about stopping one of your other brothers from blowing up some buildings, and I got a dead man wrapped up in my best rug, babe." He rambled.
"Okay. Okay, okay. Can we, Raymond-" Allison trailed off as Raymond began breathing erratically again, doing her best to calm him.
"Oh, we can have that shampooed." Herb commented in relation to the rug, then turning to face Diego, Klaus and (y/n), "We also provide body removal services." He added, seeming almost proud.
"Herb. Bro." (y/n) shook their head disapprovingly, "Read the room, dude." They uttered, giving him a slight nudge.
Allison and Raymond had a very tender moment, it was lovely, but the rest were too panicked to care. They said their goodbyes and rushed out the door, leaving Herb and Raymond to it.
"(y/n), you can't come." Diego asserted, stepping outside after everyone and shutting the door behind him.
"What-?" They looked to him in disbelief.
"He's right, (y/n)." Allison agreed, "It's too dangerous. We don't know what state Viktor will be in when we get there." She explained.
"No." (y/n) shook their head, "No. I'm coming."
"No, you're not. That's that." Diego repeated, ignoring the upset on their face.
The three siblings turned around and begun making their way, when not a second later, they heard (y/n)'s light footsteps behind them, making turn back to face them.
"(y/n), please just stay put." Klaus sighed.
"No! What the fuck? You have to let me come!" Ah, the abandonment issues. Their biggest worry - that they'd all succeed, go back to the future, and leave them helpless.
"We'll come back and get you when it's done! We don't have time for this." Diego stated, voice stern.
"No! What if you all die? Then you won't come back." They furrowed their brows, "What if you all live and just decide not to come back for me? I know I'm a pain in the ass, I wouldn't put it past you!" They huffed.
"(y/n), you're not a pain in the ass, but you need to stay here. You're not equipped." Allison asserted.
Before (y/n) could speak, Klaus cut over,
"Allison," He said, sending her a look. (y/n) didn't know what the look meant, but they didn't like it.
"Klaus, I couldn't.." She uttered, turning to him.
"Listen, if (y/n)'s going to be stubborn, it's the only way to keep them safe." Diego mumbled. (y/n) couldn't quite make out what he'd said, but just like the look they'd seen Klaus share, they didn't like it.
Allison sighed, stepping toward (y/n), "I'm sorry, but we will be back." She assured.
"What? What are you doing?" They rose an eyebrow, taking a step back.
"I heard a rumour…" Their eyes glazed over, every tense muscle in their body relaxed, and their stern expression dropped. There was a brief moment when they just couldn't feel anything. Not a single sensation, not a single emotion. Their mind was free of all thought… until,
"You didn't follow us."
The feeling was odd. They knew where they were, they knew they wanted to follow them, but it was like the biggest hesitation anyone could ever feel had just overcome them. So big, they couldn't move.
With guilt, the three, once again, turned around, and started their walk. Not five seconds passed before they heard shuffling, followed by a grunt.
Knowing it couldn't possibly be what they'd initially thought it was, they kept walking without looking back. But it happened again. That sound. And it repeated. Again, and again, becoming more and more frequent.
"There's no way." Diego uttered, looking back. To his own shock, there he saw (y/n), dragging their feet with strain, grunts and growls escaping through clenched teeth.
The remaining two turned to look, both with total disbelief written over their faces. Well, Klaus; less so. He knew (y/n) was one stubborn motherfucker, though he certainly didn't know it could go this far.
"Should we just let them come?" Allison sighed.
"I could have Herb lock them up somewhere." Diego suggested.
"Diego, do you really think that if (y/n) is so stubborn a rumour doesn't work, a lock and key will keep them at bay? They ran with hardened criminals for the first few months of their teen years." Klaus grunted, taking a swig from his flask.
With that, (y/n) was released from the strain of Allison's rumour, suddenly stumbling forward and onto the ground, barely catching themself with their hands, wincing as their palms were grazed by the rough pavement.
Diego wandered over, offering a hand to help them up, which was soon to be slapped away as they pushed themself up with no assistance. A grudge was going to be held.
No words were spoken before they made their way to the FBI building as quickly as they possibly could.
The four stood in the elevator, each filled with anxiety and dread, "I hope we find Viktor in time." Allison sighed over the whirring of the machinery.
Not a moment passed before all of a sudden, the elevator began rattling and rumbling, the ground shaking. It made it up to floor 5, the doors sliding open to reveal a body lying face down on the ground, blue light whizzing through the hall with a harsh force of wind.
"Are you fucking me right now-?!" (y/n) about screeched, pulling themself out of the elevator with much bravery. Sort of a middle finger to Five. They could handle themself. How dare he question their ability? And how dare he claim he didn't care if they got hurt or died? They were going to go head first into danger and make a point of living just to piss him off. Well, partially to piss him off. It definitely helped motivate them.
Allison followed, grunting and grabbing onto a nearby counter as (y/n) did.
"Do you mean fucking kidding you?" Klaus shouted over the noise.
"No! I mean God is fucking me in the asshole right now! Fucking us! This is just one big fuck you from God!"
Diego and Allison sat behind the counter, safe from the almost mystical force, reaching to help Klaus as he tumbled to the ground and fell into a crawl, slowly shuffling toward them.
(y/n) crouched down as they had all done, seeing it had been much easier than gripping onto something for dear life, "Question? Who the fuck are we trying to save Viktor from?" They questioned.
"FBI!" Diego and Allison answered in unison.
"But if they're all sucking ceiling right now, why hasn't he stopped?" Klaus furrowed his brows.
The two shared a look. A look of holy shit.
Allison covered her ears with a groan as the sizzling sound seemed to increase in volume, looking to Diego as he spoke,
"Viktor's in the room at the end of the hall!" He shouted over the noise.
"How do you propose we get to him?" She asked, shoulders tensing.
"I haven't figured that one out yet." He uttered.
Klaus hunched over with a sigh, "You can count me out." He said, making Allison scoff, "Klaus!"
"What?! You guys should save him. You're great at all the hero shit." He grumbled, pulling out his flask.
Allison clicked her tongue, slapping him a few times. (y/n) also gave him a harsh kick, just in case,
"Listen, listen-! Viktor would understand, 'cause he has realistic expectations of what I am! And what I am.. is sexy trash!"
Diego furrowed his brows in disbelief, "You're a big pussy, that's what you are!" He insulted.
"You're both right, but now is not the time!" (y/n) intervened.
"Why? Because I don't wanna die? Who does?" Klaus ignored (y/n), "And martyrs aren't around to enjoy the victory party, 'cause they're dead!"
Diego reached over, trying to pull Klaus out into the action, despite his protests.
"That's my cue." Allison uttered, going out into the open with no hesitation, crawling toward the room bursting with light, ignoring the three's calls for her.
Allison called out to Viktor, when all of a sudden there was a big burst of energy that sent her flying far back and into the counter, hitting her head and passing out.
"Diego, go!" (y/n) shouted, urging him out.
He crawled on out after receiving some odd comment from Klaus, straining as he used his daggers to pull himself along the floor against the strong current of wind, soon realising he wasn't going to be able to reach the room. He looked back and shouted, "Klaus, (y/n)! I'm not gonna make it! It's up to you two! You gotta save the world!"
"No, Diego! That's a terrible idea!" Klaus screeched over the counter, his voice barely heard over the sound of rattling.
(y/n) entirely agreed with him. They were extremely unequipped for super-power-related situations, and Klaus was fucking tanked. They were beginning to understand why the siblings so desperately wanted them not to come.
Diego threw one of his knives at a wheel of rope of some sort that was tightly sealed to a wall, sending it to unravel and fly back over the counter.
"Okay. Klaus. You got this." (y/n) affirmed, giving him a good, hard pat on the back.
"Me?! Don't you mean we?" He grumbled, narrowing his eyes at them.
They blinked, "Uh.. Yes! Us! We have got this!" They said through clenched teeth.
He huffed, "You can do this.." He uttered to himself, "You fought in Vietnam. You survived a family of seven." He listed off.
"And you once wore a sarong to a fraternity party and got a shitload of numbers!" (y/n) recalled. He'd told them many fun stories.
"Hell yes, I did!" He shouted over the howling of the wind, "Okay…" He uttered, pulling himself up, (y/n) mimicking his actions.
"I'm going in front, that way, if we go flying back, you'll cushion my fall." They said, grabbing onto the rope, wincing slightly as their grazed hands brushed against it.
"Absolutely not!" He said, pushing them behind him, "On second thought, you stay here. If I die, you live to tell my tale, young one."
"What?!" They shouted as he pushed them back down into hiding behind the counter.
He was quick to make his way forward, straining and gasping against the electric wind, ears and nose gushing blood. He all of a sudden propelled himself forward, flying toward the door and latching onto the handle. When his grip tightened, the door flung open, sending him zooming back, falling down into the same little crook where Allison and Diego were lying.
"Fuck! Oh my God!" (y/n) screeched.
"(y/n), could you freak out just a bit quieter? There's already too much noise.." Klaus complained.
"Are you fucking serious?!" They shouted, tugging at the roots of their hair, racking their mind for something. Anything, really. Then they recalled Ben was around. Surely there was something he could do?
"Klaus? Where's Ben?" They called over the counter.
"Already on it.." Klaus spoke with all the strength he had left in him.
(y/n) slouched against the wood of the counter, gazing down at their bloody palms.
"We're gonna be okay, bud." He sighed.
"You'd better be right." They had to live. Just to rub it in Five's face.
Five was certainly going to be distressed, but likely not for the reason they were expecting.
~ fin ~
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sequel - p1 - p2 - p3
Masterlist
Taglist - DM to be added or removed @lolawassad @nimuerofour @elbunko @esmaada @clementimee @qualityearthquakes @cff3kat @annitrice-does-things @meg-the-second-greatest @ggclarissa
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gaysparklywizard · 2 days ago
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umbrella academy as random conversations i've had with my friends pt 2
luther
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diego
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allison
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klaus
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five
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ben
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viktor
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lila
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stan
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