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badkitty3000 · 2 months

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Weak

Even Five Hargreeves is no stranger to temptation. He tries so hard to stay away. He wants to do the right thing for once in his life. If not for himself, then for her. But every man has his breaking point.

Five Hargreeves x Reader Smut

This one shot is an accompaniment to my other work "Addicted". This can be read on its own, but is a different side of the story, as told from Five's point of view.

As always, I am open to requests. Thank you!

My Master List Of Number Five Fanfiction

Weak:

I never meant to take it this far. I never meant to be cruel. That’s not who I am, or at least I didn’t think I was. I also thought I was strong and had will power. But I guess I was wrong about that, too. Because as much as I try to stay away, I don’t.

I know who I am and what I’m made of. The terrible things I’ve done. That’s not a secret and I’ve never lied to myself about that. My morals can’t even be called a gray area anymore; they’re more like an indistinct blur. But in this one tiny part of my soul, I was trying to be better. For her, at least.

I have failed miserably.

She knows what I am. When things got too comfortable and too familiar, I told her as a way to push her away and to scare her. It didn’t work, though. In fact, it had the opposite effect. She fucking loved it…and I didn’t know how to say no to that.

How could I say no when she was tearing at my clothes, practically panting with desire, and shoving her hand down my pants? All over a bloody stain on a shirt collar and the feel of my Glock against her skin. I’m sure there’s a way to resist that, but fuck if I know what it is. I’m not smart enough or strong enough to figure that one out.

I don’t particularly like all of the killing. But I’m pretty fucking good at it and someone has to do it, I suppose. I certainly never considered it sexy in any way. Then, after that first time, when she begged me to tell her all of the gruesome details, and I watched her skin start to flush and her pupils dilate…well, fuck, that put a new spin on everything.

I still don’t like it, that part hasn’t changed. I get no pleasure from pulling that trigger and watching their skull break open like a fucking pinata, spraying the contents of their brains all over the floor like the world’s worst party game. Now, however, there is a sick little spark that will ignite in me after it’s done. Because I know how it will turn her on.

And, fuck, I am weak.

That’s what this all boils down to. Weakness. For most people that meet me or know me in any way, weak is probably the last word they would use to describe me. Cold; bitter; sarcastic; asshole. Those adjectives are much more likely to be used. But weak? Doubtful.

I know the truth, though. Deep down, that is what I am. Because when you continue to break someone’s heart time and time again, just because you can’t control your own basic urges…that’s weakness. Pure and simple.

She has told me how much I’ve hurt her, and how much I am ruining her life. She has screamed and cried and told me all of the things I know I deserve to hear. She has called me an asshole more times than I can remember, and I have never disputed it. So, I stay away, like I know I should. Until she inevitably calls again. And I slip right back into it without another thought. Like the absolute fucking bastard that I am.

Weak.

Because even though I know it’s wrong and I’m slowly poisoning her with my selfishness, each time I think maybe it will be different. Maybe this time will be the time when I stay. When I will finally be the person I should be and really want to be.

All the way up until the early morning, I will convince myself that this is it. I’ve finally seen the light and I can be the man she deserves; it will be so easy. Because when it’s just the two of us, in our own little cocoon, hidden away from the outside world, the idea is magical. I would give anything to stay there, tucked away, fucking like animals until we’re both too exhausted to talk anymore. I want to stay there and listen to her voice, and her laugh, and feel her hands on my touch-starved body. And I think, yes, this is it. This is what I want.

Then morning comes and the spell is broken.

Once that first peek of dawn starts to light up the sky, all of my anxieties come rushing back, and I remember why I can’t stay. Morning brings back the real world, and with it all of its problems.

I will freeze up, practically paralyzed with fear, as she sleeps next to me, an arm draped over my chest. I will remember what kind of person I really am, and how that just doesn’t translate to boyfriend material. And it’s not just the little fact that I am a hired assassin, although that does put a slight snag in any future meetings with parents and the like.

It’s the mixing bowl of fucked up thoughts and feelings and history that lives inside my brain. Guilt. Regret. Sadness. Rage. Take your pick, none of them are great. And I can mask them for a night or two, while I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. But they will come back again, and that’s just not something anyone needs. Especially someone you care about.

So, I do the worst, shittiest thing in the world, and leave while she’s asleep. No kiss goodbye. No note. Not even a quick morning fuck. I grab my shit and leave in a flash of blue light, like the weak coward I am. Can’t even bother to use the god damn door.

I will stay away after that. At least for a while. I will ignore the incoming texts and voice mails that sometimes will follow, and sometimes don’t. I’ll pretend I don’t care about the lectures and pleas and rightly-deserved insults. But I do care. And that’s why I won’t answer.

A month might go past, maybe more. Just enough time for me to start thinking she really is done with me. Then the call will come through, late at night, and I won’t ignore it. Because, as we’ve determined…I am weak.

She is the only one, although I’ve never told her that and I bet she thinks she’s not. I’m not interested in anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. And when she stops calling for good, which one day I know will happen, that will be it. It’s either her or nobody. And it’s barely even her.

Our paths almost never cross outside of our little midnight meetings. After that first night when all of this started, I’ve never seen her anywhere else besides her apartment. I assume it’s because the types of bars and clubs I frequent are not anywhere a normal, sane person would want to spend their free evenings. But tonight, as fate would have it, I do see her. After I grab my drink off the cracked and peeling bar top and turn to look at the room behind me, I see her. And she’s not alone.

With my glass half way to my mouth, our eyes meet, and for a second neither of us move. It’s not a big place, so we aren’t that far away from one another. But it’s loud and crowded, and the guy is leaning in close to her ear, talking loudly to be heard over the constant bass thumping through the shitty speakers on the walls. Who the fuck is this guy?

It’s not fair, I know that. Believe me, I know that. And I try to give myself a stern talking-to inside my head. She is not yours. Not even remotely. You are an asshole and she deserves better. Leave her the fuck alone.

I take a drink. And then I see his hand disappear under the table, and I can see everything from where I’m standing. He’s squeezing her thigh, leaving his hand there to rest on her leg, rubbing his thumb across the bare skin that isn’t covered by her short skirt. A skirt I know I’ve had my face under before.

Fuck. I hate this guy.

In the thirty seconds that it takes for all of this to happen, she is watching me. Reading me. A faint smile plays on her lips and I know I’m caught. My thoughts must be written all over my face like a fucking billboard, and it’s too late to pretend I haven’t seen or that I don’t care. She’s got me.

If I were stronger, or a better person, I would leave. Pay my tab, collect my coat, and get the fuck out of there without another glance in her direction. Leave her be. Let her live her fucking life. But I am not. And I’m pissed.

My first instinct is to reach behind me, grab the Glock that’s hidden in the waistband of my pants and covered up by my suit jacket, and take care of this asshole right then and there. That would probably be the nicer thing to do, honestly. Then she’d finally see what a fucking psycho I am and that would end things once and for all. But I’m also not that stupid. Or that nice.

Instead, I stay and watch. I let her see me watching, too. I lean with my back against the bar, casually sipping my drink, and my eyes never leave her. I want her to know, even if it makes me more of a giant dick than I already am. I want her to know I am not pleased.

I have no idea who this guy is, and I don’t care. Maybe it’s their first date; maybe it’s their tenth. It doesn’t matter, I want him dead. And now that she knows that, because it’s pretty fucking obvious by the way I’m coiled like a cobra ready to strike right now, it’s quickly become a game. If she had feelings for him before, that seems to have been forgotten now. Because everything she is doing is for me.

Her eyes leave mine and she returns to what I can only imagine is a very dull conversation with the Neanderthal sitting next to her. She smiles and laughs, and moves her leg closer to his so that they are touching. She reaches up and fixes his hair, tucking a stray piece of it over his ear. She rests her chin on her hand and stares at him like he’s the most interesting person she’s ever encountered. And he’s eating this shit up; kicking his game up a notch with even more inane talk and rubbing her thigh up and down with his whole hand. He thinks she’s into him. Fucking dumbass.

That’s the only thing keeping me slightly calm at the moment. Knowing it’s all a play. She is a really good actress, I’ll give her that, but I’ve paid more attention to her than she realizes. I know her tells. I know the difference between her fake laugh and her real one. I can tell when she’s actively engaged in the conversation or she is just waiting for you to shut up. I know how she touches her face when she’s nervous and I know what she looks like when she wants to fuck you.

And, buddy…I got bad news for you.

The corner of my mouth lifts in an arrogant smirk as I take another drink. I shouldn’t be proud of this; I should be appalled. How dare I think I have any right to any of her little traits and quirks? I haven’t earned that. That kind of thing is reserved for boyfriends and husbands and people that can stand to stick around for more than a few hours.

When she runs her tongue over her lips in an obvious gesture meant only for me, I actually laugh out loud. Fuck, she knows what she’s doing. And it’s one hundred percent working.

As I order my second drink, feeling the calming buzz of the booze fill my brain, I start to care less and less. I don’t care if this is not fair. I don’t care that I’m being a complete and utter shit head. I don’t care if I’m weak. I’ll deal with all of that later.

I take out my phone and type out a quick text.

Enjoying yourself?

I watch as she glances to her phone on the table as it lights up. She picks it up, angling it away from Caveman Cliff, and reads it. It’s subtle, but I saw it. A brief twitch of her mouth and a quick flit of her eyes in my direction. I see her type out a quick reply and then she is back to him, completely enrapt in his droning.

Immensely, thank you

Not able to resist, I counter with:

Even I can tell from way over here that your panties are as dry as the desert

She holds in a smile as she responds back.

Too bad you’re not going to find out

Honey, if that pussy of yours is even slightly wet, it’s only because you’re thinking of me bending you over that table you’re sitting at right now

I see her legs shift and she crosses one over the other, squeezing them together as a faint blush covers her cheeks.

And why would I be thinking that?

Because that dipshit you’re with isn’t going to give you what I know you want

I watch as she swallows and then glances at the idiot to her left that is oblivious to all of this, the poor bastard. Her response is short.

Fuck you

She puts her phone away to end this exchange, but I see the small smile she is trying to hide and the way she touches her hand to her face. I can see her chest expand as she sucks in a deep breath, biting at the inside of her cheek.

I give a short snort of satisfaction and put my phone back in my inside jacket pocket. I got what I wanted. I throw back the rest of my drink, leave a few dollars for a tip, and head for the door without another look in her direction. But I know she saw me leave.

As I wait there in the dark, I think about how awful I’m being; what a shit bag move this is. I’m using her, that’s what it boils down to. Using her for her warmth and her openness, and to temporarily calm my mind. Also, for her body and her touch. She sees something in me that isn’t there; or at least something I can’t see. But I can’t or won’t give her what she needs, and I’m also not letting her move on.

Fuck, I’m an asshole.

I hear their voices coming down the hall, the rattle of keys in her hand. As they near the door, I can hear her made up excuses. She’s tired; she had too much to drink; she has a headache. Maybe next time. She’ll call him tomorrow. Then she slips inside her darkened apartment and the door closes behind her.

I’m on her before she has a chance to turn the light on, pressing her against the door as she drops her keys on the floor. Since I’ve been waiting, the anticipation has already made me fully hard and I push my groin into her while I circle my hand lightly around her neck.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? No love connection tonight?” I growl next to her ear.

She never even screams or fights back. She knew I would be there. But her hands grab my forearm and I hear her suck in a loud breath.

“I never knew you were the jealous type,” she smarts back.

“Only when I see someone try to take what’s mine,” I hiss hotly against her neck, drawing my lips and then my tongue across her skin.

“I’m not your fucking property,” she snarls, but I can hear the break in her voice and she swallows hard against my hand.

I laugh cynically. “Well, then I can go and you can let him fuck you instead. Is that what you want?”

There’s a long pause and it’s just our loud breathing in the dark of the room. Then I feel her head move slowly from side to side.

“No,” she whispers.

As I crash my mouth onto hers, my hands in her hair and on her face, and down to her tits, she is reaching for the front of my pants. I had already removed my jacket and belt when I got there, as well as the pistol that I always carry with me. Our little act back at the bar was already enough foreplay and our bodies are screaming for each other.

Our hands can’t work fast enough as she is shoving my pants down my legs and tearing my shirt open while I rip her top off and yank her skirt up. My fingers are already pushing her panties to the side and entering her, sliding right in with no resistance.

I smile proudly against her neck. “I knew you were wet for me.”

As she moans and throws her head back, she is reaching down to stroke my cock, her warm hand tight and firm as she drags it slowly over my shaft.

My hips are already jerking into her and I want to be inside of her so badly I can’t think straight.

“Get these panties off so I can fuck you,” I snarl.

I pull my fingers out, pushing her underwear down roughly and she quickly steps out of them. With one pull of her hips into me, her arms clutching tightly to my shoulders, I lift her up and start fucking her against the door.

I tip my head back and groan loudly as she whines and pulls her legs tighter around my waist.

“Can he make you feel this good?” I ask between clenched teeth as I ram into her harder and the door rattles in its frame.

“No!” she cries out.

“Do you think about him when you’re alone and fingering yourself?”

Her moans are punctuated by the slamming of my body against hers and her fingers press deeper into my skin.

“No,” she breathes out. “No.”

“You think about me, don’t you?” I say with a sneer. When she doesn’t answer fast enough, I ask again, louder. “Don’t you?”

“Yes,” she whimpers pitifully, her nails digging sharply into my shoulder blades.

I can’t believe what I’m saying and what I’m doing. But she’s loving it and so I continue.

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget all about him, and then I’m going to fuck you some more. And if I ever see you with him again, I will kill him.”

“You wanted to kill him, didn’t you?” she asks, and that knowing smile starts to form as she closes her eyes and bites her lip. “When you saw him with me?”

“Fuck yes I did,” I groan loudly into her neck.

She’s almost there, I can tell. So am I, but I’m going to make her finish first. I pick up the pace, thrusting into her as hard as I can, her back and head slamming against the door, my fingers digging deeper into the flesh of her thighs and ass. I’m practically ripping into the side of her neck, latching on with my mouth and teeth, desperate to mark her as my own.

I listen as she repeats my name over and over in gasps and moans and I can’t hold back anymore.

“That’s it, sweetheart. You are all mine.”

She is falling apart in my arms, violently shaking against me as I penetrate her one last time, letting out a loud, guttural moan. I’m as deep inside of her as I can be, and I fill her up with so much cum, I know it will start sliding out; dripping down her legs and onto the floor. Somewhere deep inside, in the primordial part of my brain, I take satisfaction in knowing that it’s my seed, and only mine, that is coating her insides.

Once the last spasm has left my body, I let her down and she falls back against the door, breathing hard. Her bra is still on, but the straps have fallen down, and her skirt is bunched up around her waist. I look at the painful looking purple bruise I left on her neck, which is large enough and obvious enough that she won’t be able to cover it. Her eye makeup is smeared and her lips are swollen and red. She looks completely ravished. And then she starts to cry.

It’s because of me, I know it is. Because of the things I said and the things I did, and the way I needed her so desperately. She had been trying to break away from me and I reeled her back in. And I did it knowingly and deliberately, just to feed my ego and maybe not feel so alone. I could have found anyone for that. But, like the prick I am, I only wanted her.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my lungs still working hard to get air in and out.

She just nods silently, wiping her face with her hand, and pulls down her skirt. She picks her shirt and underwear off the floor and heads to the bathroom without a word. I’m left standing there with a softening dick and my pants around my ankles.

Fuck.

I could leave now, while she’s in there, and maybe I should. That feels wrong, though. But then again, so does staying. I feel like shit and I’m so full of shame that I want to punch my fist through the wall. Instead, I zip my pants back up and walk over to her couch to wait. I turn on the table lamp and even though it’s dim, it feels blaringly bright and I have to squint my eyes.

When she comes out, she has changed into some soft shorts and a t-shirt. Her face is cleaned up and I assume her thighs and the area between them are too. She is no longer crying, but I can still see the tell-tale signs of red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks. I’m surprised when she comes and sits down next to me, laying her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, because I can’t think of anything better to say.

“I know. Me too,” she says and she leans her body against mine.

She has nothing to be sorry for and I’m not sure what to do, so I put my arm around her and hug her to me. I kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes. I don’t know why she’s letting me do this, but it feels good and I like it. Just like every other time, I tell myself that maybe this time will be different. I can do this; I can be that person. I don’t want to be that other jealous, callous, hurtful person. I don’t want to be the asshole.

“Just don’t go yet, ok?” she says quietly with her cheek resting against my chest.

I smooth her hair and run my hand down her back. I don’t want to go. She feels good and warm and soft against my tension-filled body. She feels right. I want to tell her all of that, too. I want to say I’m sorry a million times over and beg for her forgiveness. I want to wake up with her next to me every day.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” I murmur into her hair as I brush my chin across the top of her head.

“Don’t do that,” she pleads, her voice soft. “Please.”

I decide I’m going to tell her how I really feel. Before the night is over, I’ll come clean. And then I’ll stay. If she’ll still have me.

“You are, though. I mean it.”

She doesn’t respond, but sighs and nestles in, holding me around my waist. Fuck, I have craved this. More than the dirty talk and the biting and the ferocious fucking. I want this. I want her. And I’m going to tell her.

The rest of the night goes by in a blur. It’s there, on the tip of my tongue the whole time. All I have to do is say it. But I don’t.

We fuck again, rough and hard, on the couch and on the floor. I leave more marks on her chest, branding her as my own. I tell her she’s mine, and I make her scream my name again, but I don’t say what I really mean.

We fuck in her bed, while we’re both tired and slightly drunk. I pump lazily into her while she lies underneath me and moans softly. I kiss her lips and tell her how gorgeous she is, and it’s not a lie because she is. I worship her body, running my tongue over every part of it, tasting her skin and her delicious arousal. I can taste my own cum as I lick into her soft folds and inside her pussy that’s been stretched and abused by my cock several times over.

There are so many opportunities and I don’t take any of them. I let her fold her body into mine as I hold her in the dark and I can say it right now. It would be easy and it would be the truth.

I want to be with you.

I want to be yours.

I want you to be mine and mine alone.

I want to stay.

But I am weak, and so I don’t.

She sleeps against me and I listen to her rhythmic breathing while I lie there wide awake. I think about all of the things I should have said. Everything I should have done and should not have done. I hate myself for all of it.

When the sun creeps in, and the faintest light is leaking through the curtains and cutting through the safety of the darkness, it all comes crashing back. I remember why I can’t stay and why those words just wouldn’t come out. The reality of the real world is glaringly obvious in the light of day and I remember all of it.

The real world is filled with everyday things like jobs and homes and bills to pay. Coworkers and families that want to meet you. Graduation and birthday parties. Movie and dinner dates, holidays and vacations. Marriage. Children. Normalcy.

There’s just no way any of that would work. I can’t fit into that life, even though I want to. I think of all of the things holding me back and they keep piling up until they are crushing me and I feel like I can’t breathe.

I am an assassin. A killer. A murderer. I have seen the end of the world and survived the most horrific things. I have PTSD and crippling anxiety. There are nightmares and paranoia and episodes of manic rage. I am old and I am tired. There is nothing left of me and nothing left to give. I am not meant for normalcy.

As I slowly remove her arm from across my chest, she stirs but she doesn’t wake. I take a moment to look at her. Her mind isn’t betraying her with vivid dreams of the world collapsing around her in a fiery blaze or sprays of bullets piercing her body. She is at peace and I am envious of that.

I am not good for her, I know that. I need to go and stay gone. She deserves stability and happiness and a million other things I cannot give her. So, I will be the asshole that leaves in the morning before she wakes, just like I always do. She will hate me and curse me and cry for me. And I will stay away this time. I have to.

I chance it by leaning in and brushing my lips across her forehead. Her face wrinkles up and then relaxes again, but she doesn’t wake. I slip out of the bed and out of the room, following the trail of discarded clothes and put them back on one by one. Then I am gone in the same flash of light that allowed me to enter there in the first place. A convenient exit that I have misused way too many times.

Outside, the sun is bright and the world is waking up. I can feel my resolve growing stronger as the new day builds. That was it, I am done. It was awful and I shouldn’t have done it, but it’s over now and I will not be repeating it. I am a pillar of inner strength. That was the last time and she is finally free of me. I am doing the right thing.

My strength is impressive, both inside and out. But it is not impenetrable, especially when darkness falls and the world around me grows quiet. When I am alone with nothing but my thoughts, and I just need to feel something good again.

Everyone has a weakness.

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itstheghostofmypast · 3 months

Text

Transparent Love

Five Hargreeves x F.Reader ft.platonic Ben

Summary: Her past that she had forgotten after coming to the commission, her past that she had forgotten after marrying Five- the mistakes and guilt that she had forced herself to forget, all resurfaced at the worst of times. One thing was for sure, even if you run from your past, it'll catch up to you, in one shape or another.

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word Count: 3.3k

Read Time: 16 min

Requested by: @simpformoonkight

If there was one thing Five Hargreeves was proud of, it was his ability to read people like a book, and his favourite person to read was his wife; from the day he had met her at an Irish bar to the day he had reunited with her in the 60s, not once had she caught him off guard, even the little kiss she had given him in front of his siblings wasn't a surprise for him.

A whimper caught his ear. He glanced up from the newspaper cutouts that Elliot had glued to the wall to find her curled up on the couch, clutching onto the blanket for her dear life. Walking up to her he gently brushes the stray hair out of her face, caressing her cheek, trying to calm her down. He doesn't remember the last time she'd had such a nightmare- well, there was that one time.

The married life did not bring much change to their routine, they'd still go on missions, she'd still choose the comfortable silence, and he'd still be arguing around waiting for her to calm him down, she'd occasionally stress eat and he'd choose to storm off to cool down if the two ever argued, but one thing was clear, the two loved each other no matter what. Due to this very reason, he had believed in the all-transparency policy, sharing everything with her, now, to some extent that meant becoming extremely vulnerable in front of someone and giving an entire list of weaknesses, not that he had many, the point was, for Five Hargreeves, other than Delores, she was someone who he would die for, someone who he'd trust blindly at any given moment of time and space, which is why he assumed she felt the same way. Never keeping anything from him. Or so he thought.

It wasn't until their third anniversary that that belief in transparency somewhat cracked. He had come home early from a mission, and since the two had gone on separate ones, coming home early meant that he could set up her surprise. The well-dressed man opened the main door only to hear something crash, his killer instincts kicking in as he blinked into the living room, spotting her sitting on the floor, hugging her knees, mumbling to herself.

"Y/N! What happened?" his fingers gripped onto her shoulders, jerking her back to reality as she looked up at him, letting out a choked sob, pouncing on him with a death grip of a hug, her face pressing onto his collar as she choked on her sobs.

He remembers sitting there for hours that night, with her weeping in his arms, unfortunately, she never told him what had happened, but had only thanked him, and claimed that her dream was so bad that if he hadn't shown up when he did, she might have done something irrational.

"What's that look mean?" he glanced at the intruder who had come to sit on the opposite couch, a giant mug of coffee in hand.

"What do you want, Klaus?" letting out an exasperated sigh he stared at his brother, the person she had spent most of the 60s with while they were parted. He watched the other one shrug before smirking at Five, "Trouble in paradise?"

"None what so ever." he snapped back earning a chuckle from Klaus who shook his head, "Come on Five, it's plain as day, you have that bitchy look on your face, the one where you're thinking but are perhaps constipated in the process."

"Not a day goes by where I don't want to strangle you Klaus”, sighing he leaned back on the couch, his hand resting on Y/N's head, gently scratching her scalp out of pure habit, it was something that would help both of them calm down.

"Everyone has secrets Five, we" He gestured at him then an invisible ring where he assumed the latter would pick up on the notion of the gesture representing their family, "Of all people should know that."

"We don't have secrets, Klaus"

"Perhaps, or…you just have things you haven't talked about, I mean", reaching for the table he placed his mug down then looked at Five, eyes flickering to her, "Have you told her everything? Like everything everything? Not a single secret?"

Five glanced down at her stirring form then up at Klaus, "No, I don't. Neither does she." with that he had concluded the discussion.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

That was until they came to the new timeline, a mistake, but probably a harmless one. Amidst the uncalled-for battle, she ran into the living room, after helping up Diego, only to stop when a tentacle slammed in front of her before slithering back to its owner, Ben, shit.

"What are you guys like? Did they steal you two from your parents?" he snapped at her only for her to pull out her handy dandy pistol, a.k.a 'Bodyguard'.

"F*ck around and find out." aiming at him she muttered, "I don't wanna do this Ben."

"Sweety, your gremlin and co. burst in here. We're just taking out the trash." With that he swung another tentacle at her, one she dodged with ease, bouncing off the opposite wall to kick him. He may have been stronger but he wasn't quicker.

"I said I don't wanna do this." she said aiming right at his forehead, "But threaten my husband or his family one more time and I will."

"Husband?"

"Let's go! Move, move, move!" was all Diego yelled, grabbing her and tossing her over his shoulder in the process and running out.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

"So, what now?"

That's all she heard before they began bickering, shit, this timeline, this was not what she was expecting, what happened, where did they go wrong- should she have stopped him from meeting up with his father in the past? This was not good, definitely not good, should she tell Five? No- what if there's a way out? Wait, is there? Isn't time supposed to flow as per agenda- at least the beginning and the end, what if-

"Y/N?"

"Huh?" Glancing up from her lap she met with a confused Five, his hand automatically reaching to caress the top of her head, an act Klaus had noticed back in Dallas- a way of his to calm down his wife, much like one would do to a cat.

“What’s wrong?” his words were but a whisper, eyes scanning her, as if reading her every move, the way her breathing was uneven, eyes darting around them, trying to calculate, fingers twitching with anxiety- give her something to eat and it’d be the perfect image of how his wife usually got when she was nervous.

“I- nothing, I think I just hit my head a little too hard.” With a gentle, yet, assuring smile she, “So, what are we going to do now?”

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

With that question she found herself on a sofa, giving Allison and Vanya the room inside, since it did have two beds and the sisters needed some time alone- that and she needed some time alone as well, she needed to think, she needed to process this, to make sure things did not go south, to make sure she had everything under control this time, to make sure she could save him this time- if not Ben, then Five- this was no longer for Ben, this probably wasn’t even the same Ben- but her husband is all that she cared about.

The thought of her husband had her trembling in fear, she was hiding something from him and she didn’t know how long it could go on. She knew she couldn't keep it up for long, it was either her insistent stress eating that would give it away or his usual commendable deductive skills that he'd use to put the puzzle together. Maybe she should tell him, or maybe she should just try to fix this herself- there was no need to increase his burdens.

It was her hunger that led her downstairs, spotting the three brothers as she looked at their approval in silence, wanting to occupy the free seat.

"What are you guys? Barn animals?" Klaus sighed before smiling at his sister-in-law, “Oh, hey there my sweets, are you per se on a stress-eating roll again?” he asked, chin in palm, admiring the way she had filled up her plate more than Luther would.

“S-stress? What no!” clearing her throat she took a sip of her coffee, trying to not start an actual conversation, her original thoughts of asking either Klaus or Diego for some form of assistance went down the drain, much like her confidence.

“You know Ben?” Diego perked up, causing his brothers to pause and look at her, only for her to choke on a slice of bread.

“Stop harassing her.”

Never had she been so glad to see her husband, who sat beside her, gently patting her back and glaring at Deigo, “How the hell would she know Ben anyway?”

It was during their little meal that Five had announced his retirement, looking at her expectantly, as if wanting her to do the same, which she did- though hesitantly.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Initially she had thought of talking to Ben, she was convinced she should too but the moment they had landed in the house, a basic fact had occurred to her- this was the asshole Ben, she was used to the one who had lost everything. But then again, she wasn’t like this back then either, in fact, she was as paranoid and impulsive as Five, perhaps that’s why she fell in love with him, for deep down she missed her old self, the one who could protect her- or perhaps that was just a front, for her to pretend in those dark times, trying to tell herself that she was not afraid and Five was the real deal, he really was never afraid. So, she decided not to say a word, but the only problem was, that her anxiety was starting to pent up to a breaking point.

“Where have you been all day?” Five asked, looking up from the newspaper, his bathrobe replaced with a floral t-shirt and slacks, “Also, why are you on edge? Are your hormones kicking in?”

“What does that even mean?” mumbling she flopped down on the couch next to him, resting her head on his lap, his hand instinctively going to play with her hair, gently caressing her head.

“You horny?”

Clicking her tongue at his question she glared up at him, earning a chuckle in return. It had been long since the two were at peace like this, at least for him, what he did not know was that she was not in peace at all, but only that his presence near her was somewhat calming. She wanted to tell him how this timeline was no better than his own, that and a persistent fact she had somehow stumbled upon began to bother her.

“I’ll understand if you are”, smirking at her he pinched her nose, earning a swat of his hand in return, his hearty laugh echoing in the small room, this was possibly the most domestic the two had been since they travelled back in time.

“Five”.

Her hushed tone caught his attention, eyes darting to scan her face, her brows furrowed to the slightest degree, so faint that one could barely notice it, but Five just wasn’t anyone. He had noticed her unease ever since they had come to this timeline, how she was eating in proportions larger than Luther’s, how she was more on edge, quieter, he would’ve been blind if he hadn’t noticed it, but he respected her boundaries, for he truly believed that the two had no secrets. Sure, she had always been closed off, but he knew for a fact that she’d never keep anything from him.

“What’s the matter?” he responded with a tone as quiet as hers, earning a small smile.

“I love you, Five.”

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

“Five, listen to me, I swear I wanted to tell you but-“

“BUT WHAT?” his voice boomed in the corridor, causing her to flinch, and Klaus who was behind her cleared his throat, “Five, buddy, just hear us out.”

“Shut up Klaus, I am…” sighing he ran his hand through his hair, wanting to rip it out, “I- why would you take his side when the future I said let it happen, when I said let it happen.” She stared at him in disbelief, she knew this was out of his control, but she had never imagined for it to get this out of hand.

“Five, I need you to calm down and listen-

“I AM CALM!”

“BECAUSE I CAN’T LOSE EVERYONE I LOVE AGAIN!”

“Again…” frowning at the statement he looked at her, then glanced at Klaus who shrugged, hand reaching to console the shivering girl, only for her to slap it away, “What do you mean by….Y/N… is this…your timeline?”

With a shaky breath she nodded, trying to walk over to him, only for him to raise his hand and stop her, “I…I need some time.” With that he turned around and walked away, not even listening to her pleading, blinking away when he felt her come closer.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

“So, are we gonna talk about what’s going on between you and your husband?” Klaus asked, picking up a glass of wine, no, he picked up hers, her seventh glass of wine and as much as he wanted everyone to enjoy Luther’s wedding, he knew this was not what he wanted for her, or what her brother wanted for his wife, but he was too stubborn to approach her.

“Nope.” With that curt response, she snatched her glass back, “I can’t believe you are willing to die like this.”

“Well, I’m not. You know that, but we got voted out and Five, well, Five is Five, he’s stubborn, arrogant, and annoying but he loves you more than anything.” He smiled softly, taking it back from her as he placed his hand on top of hers, “Go talk to him.”

…

That’s how she finds herself on the rooftop, staring up at the imploding cosmos, soon to be part of it all. Spotting her husband at the other end, sitting on a cushioned seat, staring up at the sky, bottle in hand. Approaching closer she stopped when he turned his head in her direction, an unspoken apology swirling in his eyes, though she knew he had nothing to be sorry for, she knew he had been transparent with her since the moment he had told her, told her how much he loved her, devoting his life to her. Though she had nothing to apologise for as well, what she had hidden was a part of her memory, an experience so foul that she had spent a good amount of time trying to forget it. Sitting on the opposite seat she smiled, “Hey stranger.” Watching him sit up straight, placing the bottle on the table between them, hand reaching for hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Five, I just, you need to understand how before I met you, before the commission, I was someone different, living a different life, one that ended poorly.”

“Tell me, trust me, I’ll believe and listen to anything you say.”

She looked at him, admiring his sculpted face, noting the seriousness and love his features held for her, all for her.

“I… it’s a long story, I honestly don’t remember much of it.” Taking in a deep breath she continued, “It began in a blur, well, most of it was a blur, one day everything was normal, the next there were walkers, the undead, then there were groups of survivors, humanity was falling, wars had begun and slowly, the world had begun to wither away. In about a week I had lost everyone I loved, my parents, my siblings, my friends…I was…so alone.”

“How…for how long?” he asked, moving closer to her, which she appreciated, the cold had begun to creep up on her, “About 3 years…alone, I mean, I was fine at first, I mean, I was scared, obviously like any normal teenager, but it was so exhausting, I didn’t know who to be scared of more…the undead, the other groups or the men I just- then I met the Sparrow Academy, we were fine- I mean Ben was an asshole- as usual…but then one day..”

“Ben, we need to leave!” grabbing his hand she dragged him out of the building, he was too shocked to even react, his siblings being torn apart before him- but…they had powers! He had powers and this did not make any sense.

Sitting in front of the makeshift fire, she stared at the burning wood, she had gone numb far too long ago, but for Ben, all of this was new, he was so used to being surrounded by those who could bear him, that his world had shattered. She felt sorry for him, she did, but a twisted part of her was relieved, his instant obnoxious attitude came to a stop. She was tired and scared as it is, but when she saw all the siblings together, she was …jealous. No, she just missed her family, thinking that perhaps if they had any training like all of them did or powers, maybe her family would be alive too.

It didn’t take long for Ben to let her in, perhaps because she was the only one there, the only one who had his back now, the only one who would stay awake and keep watch while he was asleep, the only one who’d make sure he was eating, sometimes give him her rations as well. He would return the favour often, making sure she was warm, wearing extra layers, or that she had enough sleep, staying up and keeping watch. Slowly turned into a cycle of a unique bond, one where they needed to be next to each other, needed to know what the other one was doing.

“Ben, I swear, they are expired.” She hissed, snatching the bag of chips and tossing it away, earning a whine.

“Come on, not everything is expired, plus you can hear the crisp, that means they haven’t gone stale.” He argued, picking up a few batteries for their torches, “Listen, you let me get those chips, and I’ll keep watch tonight.”

“Ben, you’re supposed to keep watch tonight anyway.”

“shit.”

That was her fault though, maybe if she was awake, they could’ve had a chance, and maybe, he would’ve been alive. But just like the day it all began, it all happened so quickly. One moment she finally fell asleep, the next she was shaken awake by Ben. He was yelling, telling her to sit on his bike, the one they’d ride on, going from state to state, city to city, the very bike he had named Jennifer. The last thing he had told her was,

“I’m sorry, I am…thank you for spending your time with me, I’d pick you over my siblings any day.”

“Ben…this Ben?” Five whispered, more to himself than her, hugging her close to him, ugly sobs wracking through her form, causing him to tighten his hold on her, “Come on it's okay, it's over, it's over.”

“I…” pulling back she looked up at him, “I didn’t want to lose you so- so I agreed with your father and I just – forgive me.”

“My love, I…I should be asking you for forgiveness.” He smiled, leaving a gentle peck on the top of her head, “I should have been more patient with you, I had noticed your nightmares, the panic attacks but I…I really couldn’t place them”. Letting out a chuckle he smirked at her, “You’ve always been my favourite riddle, never easy to solve, but so addictive.”

Smiling up at him, she nodded, not at his stupid statement, but at the thought of them being together forever, or however long they may have left, even if time was crumbling their love wasn’t, it was as pure as the will of an angel and as clear as a crystal- a form of pure, melancholic, transparent love.

A/N: not only is this centuries late, but Tumblr has had it in for me for the past two days. Nothing was uploading. I hope you like it @simpformoonkight , haven't watched the walking dead, but did some researching.

#five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five x reader #five x y/n #tua x reader #five hargreaves x reader #vanya #allison hargreeves #TUA #request #umbrella academy #sparrow academy

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i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky · 2 years

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Klaus Hargreeves & everyone Happy 30th-something birthday, Umbrellas! (Oct. 1, 1989)

#this is a klaus comforting his sibs request but also a bday set but also a klaus & everyone set enjoy!!#the umbrella academy #tuaedit #brellygifs #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #number five #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #robert sheehan #tua #umbrella academy

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taiturner · 7 months

Text

Tonight is all I ever really wanted. Just... everybody coming together when it really matters. One big, real family.

LUTHER HARGREEVES + The Lumineers ━ requested by @weirdwildwonderland

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storiesforallfandoms · 10 months

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rescue mission ~ klaus hargreeves;umbrella academy

word count: 3646

request?: yes!

@werewolfbanshee-love “Awesome, so since I started today with the show can I ask for Y/N to be Klaus’s support and saves him from Cha-Cha and Hazel just being a badass”

description: in which the powerless human takes down two time commission agents on her own

pairing: klaus hargreeves x female!reader

warnings: swearing, violence, i use the name “vanya” in this one just because it takes place in season one

masterlist (one, two, three)

A family full of superheroes, and those fuckers had no idea that one of their brothers was missing. Too wrapped up in their own bullshit to care about anything else. All those superheroes, and it took a goddamn regular human to track down and save a missing Klaus.

I had been in Klaus’ room, waiting for him to come back, when I heard gunshots downstairs. I quickly dropped to the floor and got under his bed for protection. I was not super human, so there was absolutely zero way I was getting involved with whatever was happening. I hoped Klaus also wasn’t getting involved. I listened to the sound of footsteps running past the room, things crashing downstairs, and more gunshots. My breathing became heavier with panic with every passing sound.

I waited a few seconds after the noises went quiet, waiting for any signs of Klaus, or anyone for that matter, coming to check on me. When nothing happened, I hesitantly crawled out from under the bed. I heard slamming doors outside and looked out just in time to see two figures getting into a black car and drive away from the Hargreeves residence. Neither figure looked like any of the Hargreeves siblings, so I took this to mean that the danger had left.

I slowly opened Klaus’ bedroom door and started down the hallway. There was bullet holes in the walls and pictures knocked down. The bathroom door was still open, so I peaked inside but found it empty. There were signs that Klaus had been in there, but none as to where he had gone after his bath.

I could hear voices as I descended the stairs. The giant chandelier from the foyer was now laying shattered in the middle of the floor. An uneasy feeling started to grow in my stomach.

I found Diego, Allison, and Vanya in the living room.

“Hey,” I said, breaking up their conversation. “Where’s Klaus?”

“Who cares?” Diego retorted.

“Uncalled for, Diego,” Allison muttered. “(Y/N), are you okay?”

“Fine,” I said, glaring at Diego before turning to walk away. It was clear I was getting no help from them.

I searched the entire Hargreeves estate to no avail. I knew there was no way Klaus would leave without telling me. He could be a space case sometimes, but he usually remembered to tell me things. Also, he was in the bath. How would he just get out of there and leave during all that commotion without coming to put clothes on? I’d know if he left, I was sure of it.

A thought popped into my head then: the car I had seen drive away. I rushed to Reginald’s office, the one place in the whole house I knew would have a pen and paper. I quickly wrote down the details of the car before I could forget, including the license plate number.

There has to be a way I can find this car, I thought.

But how?

Driving around town was a no go. It was too big of a town, too many places they could’ve gone or still be going to. It would take me hours, even days. Klaus might not have that long.

There was one option I could try.

I ran back down over the stairs just in time to catch Diego leaving. “Wait! Diego, wait, I need a favor.”

He paused at the door and turned to face me. “What’s in it for me?”

I rolled my eyes. “What, are you 12?”

“No, just a man who knows an opportunity when he sees it.”

“Do me this favor or I get Luther to super strength kick you in the nuts.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

He looked at me, as if trying to decide whether to call my bluff or not. After a few moments, he signed and said, “What do you want?”

“I need you to call your cop girlfriend.”

“Patch? Why?”

I couldn’t tell him my suspicions about Klaus’ disappearance. He’d never believe me. I had only properly met Klaus’ siblings a few days earlier, but I could already tell they thought very lowly of him. They would just brush off his sudden disappearance as him going off on a bender and not worry about it.

“I just need her help,” I responded instead. “Please Diego.”

He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Patch’s number. I thanked him profusely as I took his phone. It rang for a short while before Patch answered, “Diego, what do you w - ”

“Patch!” I cut her off. “Detective Patch, this is actually (Y/N), Diego’s brother’s girlfriend. I asked him to call you for me.”

“Oh, I remember you. You’re Klaus’ girlfriend. A little too stable for a guy like him.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before. Listen, I need a favor. I know this is a long shot because you don’t know me, but I needed a plate run on a car to try to find it. I assume cops can do that. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s important. I - ” I looked over at Diego, who was looking down at his knives and clearly pretending he wasn’t listening. I lowered my voice to say, “I think something happened to Klaus.”

“If it’s something so serious you’re asking for police involvement, you may just want to file a report with the police.”

“No offence, but I don’t completely trust the cops to find him in time. I don’t even trust Klaus’ siblings and they have powers. Look, all I’m asking is any info you can find on this car, that’s it. Please Patch.”

There was a moment of silence. I expected her to say no. It was a big ask for her to do this for someone she didn’t even know. As far as I could tell, she didn’t even like Diego all that much right now. But I needed her to say yes. If she didn’t, I would already be at a severe disadvantage in finding Klaus before it was too late.

“Okay,” she said, finally. “Give me the information.”

I thanked her and gave her the details I had on the car. I also gave her my phone number so she’d call me and not Diego. I thanked Diego again as I gave him his phone back and went back to Klaus’ room to wait. There wasn’t much I could do until Patch got back to me about the car. If she couldn’t find any details about the car, I’d definitely be shit out of luck. I’d never find Klaus.

I paced up and down Klaus’ room. I kept looking out the window, as if the car would return and bring Klaus back safely. I could hear his siblings moving around the house, but not once coming to see where Klaus was. I knew Diego didn’t give a shit, but I thought maybe Allison or Vanya cared enough about their brother to be concerned when I said he was missing. Wishful thinking, I guess.

When my phone rang, I practically jumped out of my skin. I answered without checking the caller ID. “Hello?”

“I got your car,” came Patch’s voice. “And a location.”

Roughly 20 minutes later, I was parked outside of a motel. The car wasn’t in the parking lot, but Patch swore this was the last known location. It was dark and my body was starting to realize it hadn’t slept in well over 12 hours. But I pushed through it. I needed to find Klaus. I needed him to be alive and safe.

The car finally pulled into the lot nearly an hour later. All sleep immediately left my body as I sat up and watched intently. The car parked and a man and woman got out. They didn’t go around to the back of the car to take a third person out, so I could only assume that Klaus was already inside their room. I got out of my car, grabbing the crowbar I had taken as a weapon before starting to follow Klaus’ captors at a safe distance. They turned a corner and I paused to let them get far enough away to keep myself safe. When I peaked around the corner, they had gone into one of the rooms.

I silently crept down the block of rooms. There was only one room with the lights on, so it was easy to find where the assailants were. I peaked through the thin white curtains to see a figure tied to a chair between the two beds.

Klaus.

I could see his two captors stood facing him, side on to where I was but not able to see me. I couldn’t make out much as the curtains still blocked a lot of my vision.

I hadn’t thought this far ahead. What was the next step here? How did I get them out of the room long enough for me to save Klaus? Or how did I knock them out long enough?

They wouldn’t just answer the door if I knocked, would they?

I took the chance and knocked at the door. “Housekeeping!”

There was silence. I knew it was a long shot, but I had no other plan, and I wasn’t sure how much time I had.

I tried again, knocking three times and repeating, “Housekeeping!”

My heart jumped when I heard the doorknob turn and the door suddenly opened. A tall man with brown hair and a beard looked down at me. Realizing that I wasn’t housekeeping, he looked at me in confusion.

I smiled. “Hello.”

And then I swung my crowbar.

It connected with the side of his head, knocking him to the door. I was surprised by how little effort it took to take him down. Now, where’s the other one?

My question was quickly answered by the sound of gunshots. I dove behind the nearest bed as the woman stepped out of the bathroom, now wearing a mask and shooting at me as I fell to the ground. I should’ve known they’d have guns. I heard the gunshots when I was at the Hargreeves’ place. And yet I came with a crowbar in hand, something that I needed to be very close to the attackers in order to use.

Stupid!

I looked over to where the man was laying unconscious. His white button up shirt was tucked into his pants, revealing his own holster with the gun. I knew it was a bad idea, but I needed to get that gun. At least to try and defend myself from this lady attacker.

I inched forward slowly. She had stopped shooting at me, so I knew she was just waiting for me to come out from my hiding spot. I had a short period of time to try and grab the gun and dive back to where I was hiding before her bullets finally made connections with my body. I had to grab something to cover me, or at least that would hopefully cover me, long enough for me to get the gun.

I looked up to see the a large briefcase on the table behind me. It was a long shot, I’m pretty sure bullets can go through briefcases, but it was all that I had. I turned so my feet were facing towards the table and kicked it. The briefcase wobbled slightly, but didn’t move.

“Hey!” called the female attacker. “What are you doing?!”

I kicked the table again and the briefcase fell over, the handle facing outwards. I reached up and grabbed it, pulling it down just in time for another bullet to whiz past my hand.

“You’re not a very good shot,” I taunted.

I held the briefcase in front of my body as I scurried out from behind the bed towards the unconscious man. I heard more gunshots and, surprisingly, they ricocheted off the briefcase.

This thing must be maid of titanium or something. It can’t be a normal briefcase.

I fumbled with the latch on his holster as another shot ran out, bouncing off the briefcase again. My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding with adrenaline. I needed to get this thing off. I needed this to be a fair fight. When the latch finally popped free, I breathed a sigh of relief before taking the gun and diving back behind the bed, taking the briefcase with me. I had a feeling it was something important, and maybe I could exchange it for Klaus.

“Listen!” I called. “I’ve never dealt with all this shooting and kidnapping shit before. I’m not part of the Umbrella Academy, I don’t have powers, I’m just a normal person. I came here because I think you took my boyfriend and I want him back. Whatever you have against the Umbrella Academy I can assure you has nothing to do with Klaus. If you’d just give him up to me, I’ll give you back your briefcase and we’ll leave. I promise you we won’t interfere with whatever you have going on. Truthfully, I don’t even really like Klaus’ siblings right now, so if you want to go after them I won’t be standing in your way.”

There was silence. I was starting to get sick of this type of silence. Either agree or disagree with what I was saying. It wasn’t that deep to have to think about it for this long about my proposition.

Another gunshot rang out, so I took that as a no.

My hands were still shaking as I popped up from behind the bed and started blindly shooting. I had never handled a gun before. They were loud and extremely scary. I knew there was very little chance I would actually hit her, but maybe if I was lucky I’d get a good shot in and I could just take Klaus and run.

It didn’t take long for me to use up all of my bullets. I looked up to see that she was nowhere to be seen. I started to rise to my feet, hoping I had hit her and she was laying on the ground. But, of course, no such luck. The moment I stood, she came out of the bathroom again, gun lifted and aimed at me. My quick instincts were suddenly gone as I stared down the barrel of the gun that would undoubtably kill me. I wondered if Klaus’ siblings would find him before he joined me in my fate. I wondered if Diego would feel guilty for not listening to me when I asked him about Klaus being missing. If any of them would even feel somewhat remorseful for not saving me or Klaus in time.

Instead of another shot ringing out, though, the gun just clicked. Both of us looked at each other - well, I looked at her, her mask looked at me - dumbfounded. She tried again and got the same results. A laughed bubbled in my throat and escaped my lips before I could stop it.

Her gun had ran out of bullets, too.

She dropped the gun and lunged over the two beds towards me. She took my off guard long enough to knock me to the ground. I tried to swing at her, but her mask was just as hard as the briefcase was. I howled in pain as my fist collided with the mask for the first time, definitely shattering the bones in my hand. She seemed delighted by the fact that I was caught off guard again and punched me in the face. Pain exploded from my nose causing tears to well up into my eyes.

My crowbar was laying just inches away from me, next to the briefcase. Either one of those things would definitely work in this situation, but I had to hit her just right on the back of her head. It was obvious hitting the mask would only protect her. And I had to do it while she least expected it. If she knew what my plan was, she’d stop me in an instant and probably take me out with her own bare hands.

I stretched an arm out as she hit me again. The pain was almost unbearable. I’d have to get my nose and my hand looked at by a doctor I was sure, but for now I had to focus on surviving this attack and saving Klaus. I felt my fingers brush against one of the two potential weapons and closed them around it. I wasn’t sure which one I had grabbed, but it didn’t matter to me now. I grit my teeth against the pain and hissed out, “You should’ve taken my deal.”

I swung and the briefcase collided with the back of her head. She fell off of me, limp on the ground. I looked down at her to see blood forming on the back of her head. Knowing she was down for the count, I quickly stood and looked for where they could’ve hidden Klaus. It didn’t take long, though, as the silence finally fell over the room made it easier to hear the sound of muffled yelling coming from the closet. When I threw the doors open, I found Klaus, wrapped only in a towel and tied to the chair. His face was just as blood as mine was.

I nearly sobbed as I reached to take the tape off of his mouth.

“You found me,” he breathed.

“I wasn’t giving up until I did,” I said. “Come on, let’s get you out of here before they wake up.”

I undid his bindings and helped him to his feet. We started out of the room, but I paused to take my crowbar and the briefcase. I figured I could use some leverage if these assholes tried to come after us again.

We scurried across the parking lot to my car. My hand and nose were throbbing. I cradled my hand on my lap and drove with the other towards my house. I felt it was a better option than going back to the Hargreeves’ place. I didn’t want his siblings to see both of us all beat up and realize I had been right about Klaus’ disappearance. Not yet, anyways. I’d save the gloating for later.

When we got back to my place, I ran the shower for Klaus so he could clean himself up. I wrapped my hand in gauze from my first aid kit and held an icepack to my nose until the swelling went down. I then cleaned the blood from my face, careful not to accidentally bump my nose. I’d need to seek medical attention, but that was for a later time.

Klaus had clothes at my place, so I laid them out on my bed for him. Poor thing had been in just a towel for who knows how long.

When he came into my room, he paused at the door to look over me. He winced as he looked at my wrapped up hand. “Did they hurt you bad?”

“Well, this was me actually,” I said. “Those fucking masks were harder than I expected them to be. But she did break my nose. I’ll go see a doctor tomorrow. Did they hurt you bad?”

“No broken bones.” He took the clothes from my bed and changed into them. “I can’t believe you risked your life for me like that.”

“Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I? They took you and they were hurting you.”

“I have superhuman siblings, though.”

I shook my head. “Too wrapped up in themselves to even listen to me. There was no other choice than for me to come find you myself.”

Klaus climbed into bed next to me. I rolled onto my side to face him, and he did the same, propping himself up on his elbow as he did so.

“I can’t believe you knocked both of them out on your own,” he said. “I heard all that gunfire and thought for sure you were dead.”

“Well, the guy wasn’t too hard to take down. He answered the door with no mask on, so I just hit him with the crowbar I brought with me. The woman put up more of a fight. I was lucky she was dumb enough to empty her gun while trying to shoot me or else I likely would’ve been a goner.”

He looked over me again. There was a look in his eyes I couldn’t quite place. It was like a combination of things. Love was the one thing I was sure I was seeing.

“I can’t believe you came for me,” he said again.

I smiled and leaned closer to him. “I love you, Klaus. I’d do anything to make sure you were safe. That includes risking my life to go after two kidnappers with guns and titanium masks on my own to save you from them.”

Klaus smiled. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He pulled me the rest of the way forward, closing the gap between us to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around him, leaning forward into the kiss so the two of us were laying down. I winced briefly as my nose brushed against his, sending a slight pain through my face.

“Sorry,” Klaus said, his voice soft. “You need to get that fixed. I can’t just not kiss you.”

I giggled. “Tomorrow, I promise. We need to rest now, though. We both had quite the night.”

As if finally realizing how tired he was, Klaus yawned and nodded. I settled into the bed next to him, cuddling into his chest. I could hear his heart beating as he drifted off to sleep. I used it as a reminder that he was there, that I had saved him, as my adrenaline finally wore off and I finally fell asleep.

#klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves imagine #klaus hargreeves x reader #Robert Sheehan #robert sheehan imagine #robert sheehan x reader #The Umbrella Academy #Umbrella Academy #the umbrella academy imagine #umbrella academy imagine #tua #netflix #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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noforkingclue · 5 months

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would you mind writing for a dark five with a reader who doesn't really mind Five's behavior? The reader do like the attention and would even try to end up flirting with some random person in front of Five

Of course anon!

Hope you like the fic!

Note: Five is in his mid-twenties in this fic

Title: A Good Result

Warnings: dark fic, unhealthy relationship, mentions of murder

The Umbrella Academy tag list: @zerocanonlywriteshit, @mxacegrey

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

You had just walked through your front door when you were roughly grabbed. You were slammed against the door so hard that all the air left your lungs. You grinned as you looked up into the pissed off face of Five. To someone who didn’t know him they wouldn’t be able to recognise the cold anger that shone in his eyes, but you knew him too well.

“Had fun tonight?” he asked

“Yes,” you said, “did you?”

Five’s grip on your arms tightened and you winced slightly. Five grinned as you tried to mask the pain you were in. You could tell that you were going to be having bruises tomorrow.

“What do you think?” he asked

“I think you’re enjoying yourself now.”

You leant closer and brushed your nose against his. Five tense slightly before smirking and digging his nails into your biceps.

“You know,” he said calmly, “he didn’t last long.”

“In what context?”

“He begged for me to stop. To make it quick.”

“Did you?”

“He touched what’s mine and you really think I was going to let him live.”

You didn’t get to answer before Five roughly pressed his lips against yours. You let out a moan and tried to break free to wrap your arms around him. However, Five held on tightly and you felt him smirk against your lips. He sunk his teeth into your lip and you let out a hiss of pain. When he broke the kiss you could see his lips were stained with your blood. Neither of you said a word and you licked your lips, wrinkling your nose at the metallic taste of blood.

“Satisfied?” Five asked

“Oh immensely. Although,” you pulled against his grip, “you could let me go.”

“Now why would I do that?”

“I gave us what we both wanted. Don’t you think that deserves some reward?”

“Ah,” Five gave you a cold grin, “so that’s why you do it.”

“Do what?” you asked innocently

“Try to make me jealous.”

“Try,” you leant forward as much as you could, “I actually thought I had succeeded in that.”

“It takes a lot to make me jealous.”

“And did someone ‘touching what’s yours’ do the trick.”

Five’s jaw clenched and you felt his grip loosen slightly. Quickly you pulled yourself free and seized the opportunity to wrap your arms around Five. This time it was you who pulled him into a rough kiss, one hand around his neck and the other tangled in his hair.

Five closed his eyes as the two of you stumbled further into your flat. His hands settled on your waist and dug in tightly, another set of bruises you knew you were going to have tomorrow. You knew that your relationship wasn’t typical (or that healthy) but you didn’t care. It was your relationship and you’d be damned if you let anyone try and stop what you and Five had.

#fanfiction #the umbrella academy #reader insert #request #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #dark

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moonydustx · 25 days

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Hi!! Your writing is so good. I love it so much!!! Can i request a Five x female reader? Where the reader is smug and direct about her feelings? Thank you!! 🫶🫶🫶

Hi Hi! First, thank you for appreciating my work ❤️❤️

I tried my best to deliver and I apologize in advance if anything deviated from the proposal. I used Five from last season because his personality in these last few episodes is my favorite. Again, thanks for the request and i hope u like!

requests | the umbrella academy masterlist

What do you feel?

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x F!Reader

Warnings: fluffff, some things are a little out of canon, F!Reader is also someone with powers. She can feel others' feelings and make others feel hers through touch.

You still remembered the first time Five crossed your eyes at Temps Comisson. The neat jacket, the formal shorts and the almost arrogant posture for just a kid. At first, you hated him.

"A new friend for you." the manager introduced you to him and the two of you barely bothered to shake hands.

"Great, a newbie." Five replied, without much patience.

"I already have my suitcase, I don't need this new one." the cynicism in your tone was clear to both of them. When you saw the manager looking at you impatiently, you turned to him. "Let's follow the rules: don't get in my way, don't meddle in my choices and please don't expect me to save you if you're standing in the grave."

"I could say the same." Five replied, extending his hand to you. "Deal."

And a few years later, here you were. Cooped up in the family of what you could call your best friend, attending a wedding taking place under the lights of the end of the world.

"What do you think, huh? Apocalyptic weddings." Five whispered as the bride and groom entered.

"First I need to find someone who can handle it." your answer came out almost automatically and you just watched Five deny it, with a smile on his lips.

The ceremony was quick, totally the opposite of dinner. The two of you chose to sit at a table alone, taking in your surroundings. The happy couples, Ali and Viktor fighting, Ben being disturbed by Klaus.

"Can you feel what they think from here?" Five asked, filling his glass.

"Sex, sex." you pointed to Luther and Diego with their respective spouses. "Guilt and grudge." you pointed at Viktor and then Allison. "And suicide." Finally, you pointed at Ben. "Look, I don't even need to go there and touch them."

"Sometimes I forget." He pointed to your hands covered in gloves. "And you, how do you feel about the world ending?"

"Relief, I guess." You lied, seeing him nod.

You both watched Klaus approach, in silence. Brother Hargreeves tried to convince them to listen to Sir Reginald, but it was in vain. You understood his hope, in trying to somehow rescue his father's good image and no matter how much he denied it, you could feel that Five wanted to be able to have that kind of hope too.

"I still don't believe him." Five said in a low tone, despite having alcohol in his blood, he still needed to remain alert.

"Me either." you imitated him, moving closer to him. The two of your heads were practically glued together as the two of you talked. "It's a shame to see Klaus so… wait a minute."

Sir Reginald's presence was present there, frightening everyone. It wasn't the spiteful version that you heard Five talk about over the years, but there was something that didn't fit there, you could feel it.

The man gave a brief speech, with a huge poem and it was clear from the looks of those around that the situation was stranger than you could imagine. Perhaps with the intention of breaking the ice hovering in the air, as soon as Hargreeves left the microphone, the dance floor was filled with music and colored lights.

"The old man is actually good at it." Five pondered, taking your attention.

"I don't know, something is wrong. He's always alert, he won't let me touch him." you responded immediately, watching him think for a few seconds.

"Any ideas what we can do?"

"I don't know if you got the memo, but we're about to die. " you turned away from Five to grab your glass. In a cynical gesture, you took your glass towards his glass, improvising a toast. "Here's to the old man's minutes of sanity."

"How can you be so frank?" He seemed indignant, drawing a laugh from your lips. "You're worse than me."

"Ah, dear Five. Try to feel what everyone else feels for a day. All the anger, all the fear. Your own feelings become a burden to you." your words silenced him, leaving space for him to just nod and for you to return to contemplating the speeches.

"I'm glad the world is ending." he stood up, extending his hand to you while his other hand held the bottle of champagne you shared. "Screw other people's feelings."

"Yeah, screw it." You accepted and stood up.

Five led you to the dance floor and even though the music was more upbeat and the dance floor was full of his brothers, he still spun you around a few times, in a kind of disconcerted waltz.

Five soon let go of you and climbed up to where the DJ table was, taking the microphone from the strange man. Without speech or prior notice, Five began to sing. The lyrics weren't the happiest of all, much less the melody, but they were familiar to you. You remembered singing it a few times in Five's presence and saying how much it reminded you of your father, who had been away from you for years.

"Would you accompany me?" your eyes moved away from Five's to Klaus, who proposed a dance. You could notice his suspicious look as he led you away.

"You like him, don't you?" Klaus asked and you just nodded, there was no point in hiding it anymore. "Well, you still have some time until the world ends."

"And if it doesn't end, what do I do next?"

"What do you mean it doesn't end?" Klaus asked, stopping turning you around. "Will you accept Dad's plan?"

"No, no, that's not it. I've seen Five end apocalypses before, I think something inside me hopes he can fix this one too. Maybe it's just the grief speaking inside me."

"Yeah, maybe."

Klaus turned you around once again and let you go, leaving you alone for just a few seconds.

"Let's get out of here?" Five's voice materialized behind you. "I need fresh air."

Before you could respond, he held your hand and led you away. It only took a few minutes for the two of you to be alone, watching the orange sky from the building's terrace.

"Can I ask you something?" You sat next to him, keeping little distance. Before you could ask, he held out the bottle of champagne he hadn't put down yet.

"Technically you already asked."

"Stop being an idiot." your shoulders collided with his. "That's it, right? I think we finally don't have the solution."

"I can almost believe you're scared." this time, you didn't deny it, you just looked away. "You know you don't need to talk, right?"

"I know, but it's frustrating. Running after saving the world all this time and not being able to. I'd rather die, I don't know, run over by a car, with an anvil falling on my head. But an apocalypse?" you laughed and watched Five do what you had done many times when you couldn't use your voice to talk. He took one of your hands and took off the glove, allowing himself to touch your skin.

"I can feel you." he replied, in a low tone. "You are afraid."

Five preferred to omit everything else he felt when he touched your skin. Fear, anguish, anxiety, love. The last one weighed on his mind, but he knew you and knew you would come out as soon as he felt comfortable. In a way, he knew that when he touched you, you would also be aware of his feelings.

"The only people who aren't scared are those who aren't paying attention."

"I think we need to drink more, to forget about this." even after just a few minutes of sitting, Five pulled you to your feet. "And this dress suits you, it's a waste to stay here while the party is going on downstairs."

Again, he dragged you downstairs, where the celebration was taking place. Whiskey, vodka, beer, everything that still contains a quantity of alcohol became part of your menu and at the end of the party, you found yourself sitting at the counter, Five standing a few meters away, tasting two different drinks. Maybe that would be the last time the two of you would party.

"Five?" you interrupted him, making him place the two bottles on the floor. "I don't want to die with regrets."

"Elucidate me on that."

"Even though The Handler always made it clear that I was too much for you, I like you." A sob caused by alcohol interrupted your train of thought. "I like it and I know that maybe I'm a little too much for your arrogance. You're also a little too much for me." You laughed, seeing him approach. "I think after these years, it's only fair for me to say that I love you."

"You think?" he laughed, fitting himself between your legs dangling from the metal counter. "You drank too much."

"You too." you responded immediately, starting to take off your gloves. "And alcohol doesn't affect my opinion. Feelings don't lie, do you want to feel?" Before the first glove could leave your hand, Five stopped you.

"I believe in you and I feel the same." he replied and in an unexpected gesture, he hugged you, putting his face in your mouth. "I've loved you for a while, it's a shame it took us so many years to realize."

"We can live that at least now." You gave space for his face to be in front of yours. "Damn, now I wish I could end this apocalypse."

His lips took yours and instead of his hands attaching themselves to your body, Five disheveledly took off your gloves and pulled your hands until they tangled around the back of his neck.

"I love you so much." he murmured between your lips, feeling almost overwhelmed by all the feeling that emanated from your hands. "Tonight, I'm yours and you're mine, fuck this apocalypse."

"Until the world ends?" you asked breathlessly.

"Until the world ends."

Your mouth tasted like alcohol, sweets and fear for the small future, but Five didn't see the problem, after all you could love each other until the world ended.

#fiction #reader insert #no use of y/n #requests open #the umbrella academy s3 #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #five hargreaves x reader

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circumstellars · 2 years

Photo

Klaus, Five + S1 EP10 and S3 EP09 & 10

↪ S01 vs. S03 || {TUA} {cast+} | ☕ | for @sarkywoman

#this is sarkywoman's request! hope they turned out well #they wanted these moments side by side #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #netflix #tv gifs #mygifs #myworks #my nonsense #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves

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flwersgarden · 1 year

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What if Yandere Five has a girlfriend similar to Cassie from the show Euphoria , like she gets up at 4 am to do skincare and makeup and get dressed up , all for him 🤔

note: okay i know i said that i stopped writing for five but BROOOO this request altered something inside of me and i HAD to write it — made it into headcanons, hope you like it!

yandere!five x female!reader who dolls up for him headcanons.

“ it's the thought that counts. ”

okay, for starters, he loves it.

LET'S BE FOR REAL.

fine, he does not like that you take hours of your sleep time to do it— you are perfect the way you are, my love!

buuuut, he does enjoy the soft feeling of your hair against his cheek whenever he hugs you or how good you smell.

at first, he felt weird when you mentioned how your hair was a mess to brush at- FOUR FUCKING AM?????

he thought he was doing something wrong when you said you did it for him, perhaps he said something that made you do those things at such an ungodly hour even if that wasn't his intention!

he told you it was something common of him to say mean and harsh things, yes, but never to you!!!

but when you explained (reassured him) that you actually liked to do it for him made him a bit... confused.

he never thought in changing his appearance for you, well, after all, you had to love him for who he was (you like it or not.)

so at first he wasn't so accepting of it.

he would sometimes sleep at your place to avoid you from waking up and doing your 'skincare routine' (“ skincare what? ”) at three am because, babygirl, you need to sleep, you need to dream happy beautiful-

HOW ARE YOU ALREADY AWAKE??? HE TURNED OFF EVERY ALARM????

he is so dumb at this it's almost hilarious, the only thing stopping you from bursting out laughing is his serious face as he scolds you for it and how red his face gets at the thought of you not having your rightful hours of sleep.

when he realized that no matter how much he tried you still woke up and did your skincare and makeup routine as every other regular day, he accepted it.

“ at least promise me that you'll sleep more time on the weekends and that you won't overwork yourself- ”

“ okaaaaay fiveeee. ”

and then he grew to love it.

he actually likes how you find the effort in it non existent because you like to look good for him.

he also liked to brag about it to his siblings.

“ oh yeah?! well my girl just got a new peach face mask! ”

...

“ five, we're discussing who killed klaus' fish. ”

like yeah maybe don't let the idea go that far to his head.

“ mind if i leave? gotta be at my baby at 8. ”

“ for what? ”

he smiles and turns around. “ skincare. ”

he hops out viktor's apartment with a bright smile.

viktor stands for a few more seconds before frowning. “ what. ”

he is genuinely so adorable the moment you ask. him if he would like to try some of your skincare products.

although, because he is kind of an asshole (he can't help it) he would at first shake his head and say no.

but after a minute he would just say “ fine. ” while hiding the biggest smile known to mankind.

he would try to be an asshole while you take the face mask out of his package.

like hehe babeee don't put that face mask on meeeee hehehehe stawpp oh my gawdddd-

he loves to be taken care of once in a while so you bet your cute little ass that he eats the skincare treatment up.

“ lemon or orange? ”

five pouts as he thinks over, scanning the packs of facemasks in your hands while your sitting with one if your legs on each side of his body; his hands on your waist.

“ orange. ”

“ great choice! ”

his siblings make fun of him for 'growing soft' but he just shrugs and looks at you, who is showing luther one of your, many, body scents for him to get later.

“ okay, can we just leave this room? i can't stand five's orange smell. ”

“ hey! ”

anyways!!!

in conclusion, as long as you don't find it tiring or overwhelming, five would continue to support you.

he would even wake up at the same time as you just so he could see you carefully applying your makeup (even though he is just opening one eye and can barely stand up so he sits on the toilet).

it's the thought that counts tho!!!

and he loves you the same, with skincare and makeup, with nothing on your face, with acné scars or a big pimple on your nose.

he would still say you are the most beautiful and pretty girl he has ever seen.

“ you mean it? ” you ask with those doe eyes five loves with all of his stoic heart.

he smiles as he nods. “ i mean it. ”

you can just turn him into the biggest simp out there he swears.

just don't change because of him.

he loves you the same, you know that, don't you, sweetheart?

#yandere five hargreeves x reader #yandere five hargreeves #yandere the umbrella academy #request 🤍#I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH I FEEL LIKE IM ASCENDING OR SOMETHING #i was giggling while writing this #yandere five is a softie #FIGHT ME

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mekochansblog · 1 year

Text

I still love you

Five hargreeves x reader

Requested by @raytoroisgod666

- Part 2 of Do you still... love me?

- slight cursing, fluff, and some memories

- this was my longest one yet, I’m excited

You woke up to arms around you the following day, you froze, forgetting you forgave your husband, the person hugging you at the moment. You slowly turned your head and slowly let a breath of relief out. You slowly looked at all his features; his face wasn't frowning like usual, he didn't have his usual scowl, and to you, he looked like an average person with no problems on his mind. He looked peaceful, a thing you haven't seen since trying to save his family with all these apocalypses. So you slowly took his hand around your waist and put it on your pillow, which he hugged tight and snuggled to it. So you silently giggled and tiptoed to the kitchen that the small hotel room had.

You started making coffee just the way Five loves it and a toast with butter for both of you, which you knew that he probably wouldn't eat since it had been a while since he had something on his stomach other than coffee. So you felt hands snaking themselves around your waist, which made you jump a bit, but you knew it was Five. So you turned your head and gave him a small smile, and he kissed you. You turned your head quickly, so he won't see your blush, which he could catch, and laughed lightly. So you playfully rolled your eyes at him and pushed him away lightly so he could drink his coffee.

He gave you a peck on the lips and grabbed his coffee from you while he looked at you. He made you nervous and not in the wrong way but in the butterfly effect. He sipped his coffee and smiled in bliss, knowing full well the coffee you make has never lowered his expectations of you. He knew that in the back of his head, he had to make up to you the way he treated you the whole two weeks for him but a year and weeks for you. He deeply loves you; for him, it was hard to express it when all he could worry about at that moment was saving his family and you.

He grabbed the piece of toast you offered him and smiled in gratitude. He then asked if you wanted to get ready to catch up with his family, to which you nodded, and he spatial jumped, which took you by surprise, thinking he would stay with you for a little longer. You shook your head, considering that the affection he promised you wasn't going to last; you started walking to your room, wanting to shower and stay in bed, when you heard another spatial jump and Five calling out to you. So you turned to him and blinked at what he had in his hands.

Clothes for you and him, and he probably left to get you guys clothes to change. You walked up to him, grabbed half the clothing, went to the room, and lay them down. He had brought you a navy blue dress to match the blue plaid shirt he had got for himself. You smiled gleefully and hugged him while you walked to the shower. You stopped midway and looked at him.

"Are you going to be joining me, Mr. Hargreeves?" You said while looking at your husband with a shy smile. Five's eyes widened, but he smirked, looking at you up and down.

"I wouldn't refuse you, Mrs. Hargreeves." Five said while walking where you were and closing the door so both of you could shower.

TIME SKIP

Five was holding your hand while he walked you to where his brothers were; your figure walking next to him, holding his hand with gentleness. You waved at your brothers-in-law, which was only Diego and Klaus.

"That little delinquent is your son?" Klaus asked Diego. You turned to see who they were pointing at; a boy no older than probably 12 was eating the food the buffet had in store.

"Allegedly, my son," Diego said while looking at his supposed kid. Klaus noticed you and Five walking up to them and ran to give you a hug making you lose your grip on Five, that was holding his hand. Five rolled his eyes and pried you away from his brother, not before glaring at him. Diego looked at you, and then he looked at Five.

"So I believe you both made up with the noticeable hickeys you guys have matching," Diego said while smirking at both. You blushed and hid your face with Five's shoulders while Five smirked and nodded his head as if saying yes, you both made up, little by little. You decided not to listen to their conversation and walked to your nephew. You silently sat down next to him, and he just stared at you.

"Are you by any chance Die- uhh, I mean my dad's sister?" The boy asked, and you shook your head. You introduced yourselves to each other, knowing Stanley's name, and you told him your name. You warmed up to Stanley and knowing you were an aunt, you felt giddy inside. Five looked at you and Stanley and felt slight jealousy bubbling at the pit of his stomach. He knew he was just a kid; you were way older than Stanley was, but you were in your young adult body, and so was he; his hormones raged even when you guys released each other's pleasure not too long ago.

Five stopped his conversation with his siblings and walked to you and Stanley. Stanley stopped the conversation and looked up at your husband. You looked at Stan confused, not knowing why he stopped the conversation mid-sentence until you saw he was looking up. So you turned around and saw your husband glaring at Stan; you stood up and grabbed Five so he could turn to you. Once he did, you gave him a peck on the lips and smiled at him.

"Honey, your jealousy is showing, and Stan is just a kid. I mean, look at him," You then mumble for him to hear, "We should have one too." Five's eyes widened, and he looked at you. You turned to him, and he looked like he wasn't breathing. So you giggled and walked away to Klaus, who looked like he was waiting for your husband. Klaus then started to explain what happened not too long ago, Vanya now goes as Viktor, and Five agreed to go on a trip with him and was going to take you with him.

You told him to wait for you so you could pack some snacks and drinks for the way. You grabbed Mr.Pennycrumb so he could finally leave the hotel; you hoped Chet wouldn't mind you taking his dog out to see the world. At the same time, you were heading to who knows where; you zoned out the brothers and looked outside from the window. It's been a while since you decided to let your mind run free. Five has been a great husband since he promised he wouldn't hurt you emotionally.

"This isn't so terrible." Your husband said while also looking at his surrounding that he was seeing while Klaus was driving, a slight smile on his face.

"See? I told you." Klaus responded to your husband. You didn't hear what your husband said next, but you did see when he pulled a map of the united states out.

"Oh! Uh... All right! So, I've circled all the roadside attractions along the way." Five said, and you leaned in to see what type of roadside attractions he circled. You saw he circled Disneyland with a heart, which you knew wasn't a roadside attraction but more like an actual trip to experience, which made you remember a memory.

"Honey, if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you like to go?" Your husband asked you while you were getting ready to sleep, unbraiding your hair; you looked at your husband and thought about it.

"I would love to go to Disneyland, eat the delicious food and get matching mouse ears with you, but in general, being with you." You said while thinking about it. Five lightly laughed at your smile and grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer to him while all you did was laugh blissfully.

You smiled at the beautiful memory and leaned to Five; he turned his head to you, thinking you were going to ask him a question, but all you did was kiss him deeply and leaned back in your seat. Five froze for a second, forgetting how your lips felt on his for a second.

"Y/N... every time I see your smile and eyes, I fall in love all over again with you." Five said with such a lovestruck face; you blushed and giggled.

"I'm not sure we're gonna have time..." Klaus interrupted your beautiful moment with Five.

"We have the Brownsville Big Nickel. Oh, Ricky's Bakery has award-winning pies." So five turned to look at his map and ignored what Klaus was trying to say to both of you.

"If you just let me explain..." Klaus tried to say, but again, your husband was ignoring him or not wholly listening to him.

"Or there's this Cow Henge." Five, yet again, said while looking at you, knowing you like animals, which you smiled and nodded with your head.

"That's it-- Don't-- Listen to me. Just shut up for two seconds, okay? Just two seconds?" Klaus finally said out loud, which made you and your husband get quiet while looking at your brother-in-law.

"All right? Okay, I'm all ears." Your husband said sarcastically.

You decided to zone them out, since it looked like they were going to start arguing about this trip.

"Ball of Twine? Klaus, turn! Ball of Twine! Turn!" You zone back when your husband exclaims and starts turning the steering wheel. Then, you grabbed Mr.Pennycrumb with tight hands so he wouldn't go flying.

"What? Five! Five!" Klaus shrieked, trying to get control of the steering wheel that Five had a tight grip on.

"It is one of the best ones! Come on!" Five screamed at his brother, not caring that moving the steering wheel could cause an accident.

"Five, we're gonna die! Whoo!" Klaus screamed at him, scared of how your husband was acting just to see a stupid ball of yarn.

"I don't care! Let go! You know what? No twine, no birth mother!" Your husband said the last words, which made Klaus finally give up and head to the ball of twine that your husband so desperately wanted to see.

When you finally got to the ball of twine, your husband and brother-in-law got off and looked like they were having a weird bonding moment which you didn't want to interrupt. So you decided to get Mr.P's leash and walk around with him. You started walking so he could do his business, once he was done, Five called out to you, and you started walking up to him.

"What's wrong, miele? Are we leaving?" You asked your Italian nickname for him coming out. He smirked at you and told you that we were heading to Klaus's birthplace, or so he says.

Once leaving Klaus at the place (it turns out he was Amish, which didn't take you by surprise), Five drove all three of you guys to the cow henge behind the Amish place we just left Klaus in. You got out of the car and looked at all the cows around you. It made you remember another memory you had with Five.

You were sitting in your vanity mirror, getting ready for a date that Five asked you. You thought about something until you decided to say something to your husband. "Tesoro?" You said you saw Five turns to you from the corner of your eyes while he was putting on his tie. "When we save your family from the apocalypse, and we get to live normal lives, where would you like to live?" Five stopped trying to do his tie, knowing damn well you always made it for him, and when he was a child, his mom always did it for him.

"I see myself living in a one-story house with two bedrooms and a big yard, maybe some animals knowing you will love to have a whole zoo." He lightly laughed while you giggled, knowing he was right about your love of animals. So you got up, walked to him, and did his tie while he just kissed your forehead.

You smile at the memory fondly and walk up to him. You pulled him from the car since all he was doing was lying in the car and singing.

"Dance with me, Hargreeves." You said while holding his hands. He laughed and looked at you with so much love and adoration. You knew that he loved you. So you decided to forgive him. He will always be there for you. That's how you both stayed in each other's arms, dancing slowly to the music playing in the car.

Complete in love once again.

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nickeverdeen · 3 months

Note

how about five x reader when the reader accidently confesses feelings? Please and thank you!

Acidentally confessing your feelings to Five Hargreeves

TW: gunshot injury, mention of getting shot, reader taking care of a gunshot wound

————————————————————

The aftermath of the mission cast a subdued ambiance over the Umbrella Academy. Five Hargreeves, despite his usual uncanny ability to navigate danger unscathed, bore a minor wound—a gunshot graze on his shoulder. The living room, once a battleground, now transformed into a makeshift infirmary.

Y/N, a mixture of relief and worry evident in their eyes, found themselves tending to Five's injury. The air held a tangible tension, the near miss of danger lingering in the room.

As they delicately cleaned the wound, Y/N couldn't help but let their guard down, "You know, Five, for someone who can time travel, you sure have a knack for attracting trouble in the present."

Five, typically stoic, winced at the sting of disinfectant but couldn't suppress a smirk. "I like to keep things interesting."

With the task at hand, the Y/N's thoughts became a tempest of emotions. The sight of Five, vulnerable yet resilient, stirred something profound within them. It was in that charged moment, amid the quiet echoes of the mission's aftermath, that words slipped out before they could be reined in.

"You're infuriating, you know that?" Y/N muttered, their tone a blend of exasperation and affection. "Getting yourself shot and making me worry like that."

Five, more accustomed to trading barbs than receiving concern, raised an eyebrow. "I assure you, it's not on my list of preferred activities."

As Y/N carefully bandaged the wound, they sighed, their gaze meeting Five's. "You have this way of making me care, Five. More than I ever planned to. I mean, who would've thought?"

The admission hung in the air, laden with a vulnerability that transcended the typical banter between the Hargreeves siblings. Five, though adept at masking his emotions, seemed momentarily caught off guard.

A beat of silence passed before Five quipped, "Well, it seems I'm not the only one who can make things interesting."

The room, steeped in a quiet understanding, bore witness to a confession that wasn't grandiose or cliché but was instead woven into the fabric of their shared moments—a revelation that unfolded amidst the aftermath of danger, a gunshot graze, and the quiet acknowledgment of something deeper.

#request #imagine #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #five hargreaves x you #five hargreaves x reader #five tua #five x reader #five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader

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badkitty3000 · 2 months

Text

Strength

Five is finally strong enough to give in to his true feelings and tell you how he feels. You are strong enough to let him.

Five Hargreeves x Reader Smut

The third one shot in this short series, following "Addicted" and "Weak". Contains points of view from both characters.

If you have any more ideas for me, let me know!

My Master List Of Number Five Fanfiction

Strength:

The position of the bed in your room has always annoyed you. For half the year, when the sunlight pours in, it slices right across your face in the most non-gentle way. One minute you’re sleeping soundly and the next you are being slapped awake by a piercing light over your eyes. It doesn’t matter how much you try to cover the window, the sun still fights its way through. Like it has a personal vendetta against your rest.

Today is no different, and you shield your eyes with your hand and blink into the light. It takes you a few seconds to clear your head, but then you remember. The happenings of last night would have felt like a vivid dream if it weren’t for the glaring evidence all around you.

Tangled, wrinkled sheets. Your body aching and throbbing in places it shouldn’t be. The lingering scent of sweat and sex in the air. But of course, the biggest piece of evidence is the empty space next to you. He’s gone.

Not that you were expecting anything less. Yet, for some reason, it still fucking hurts. You would think that you would be used to it by now; maybe even like it. Good company, good sex, no ties. What’s not to like? You’ve had this argument with yourself a thousand times. It never does any good.

You roll onto your back, staring up at the ceiling, and moving out of the direct line of sun. You’re still naked and you can feel the stickiness between your legs. Some sort of concoction of his saliva and cum, probably. You need to shower. But you lie there, staring blankly upwards.

Are you going to cry? Rip the sheets off the bed in a rage-fueled hysteria? Call and leave several consecutive voicemails listing all of the reasons you hate him? Maybe. Or you could just stay here, unmoving and unfeeling. You’re so tired and that seems like the best option. At least for now.

The thing is, it’s not fair for you to hate him. It’s not his fault. He’s never promised you anything he didn’t deliver. He’s never mistreated you or lied to you. He has never been anything except himself this whole time. If you were going to be honest, you’ve brought all of this on yourself. You created this. This fantasy world that has never existed, and will never exist.

What did you think was going to happen? You would finally get him to fall madly in love with you and you’d make some happy little home together, just the two of you? He’d kiss you goodbye in the morning, head out to blast a few unsuspecting fuckers in the face, and then come back in the evening exhausted and missing you? He would sit down and you’d crawl into his lap and lay your head on his chest while he told you about his day?

Yes. That’s exactly what you thought. Pathetic.

You’re not sure how you got like this. You used to be a normal person. You weren’t exactly planning on losing your fucking mind over this guy. During that first night, when you came stumbling into your place, both of you drunk off your asses and already trying to get the other’s clothes off, you certainly hadn’t planned on anything more than a quick fuck. He was hot. You were horny. He bought you a few drinks. You brought him home to fuck him. Not exactly a swoon-worthy meet-cute.

It wasn’t until he had you on your back, naked and panting, that something switched. There was something different about the way he started to kiss you. Something different in his touch as his hands roamed over your body and lit you up from the inside. You weren’t even sure how to describe it.

It was like a longing, or a sadness, or desperation, as he kissed down your neck and chest like he worshiped you. He fucked you hard and rough, but even that was different than anything you’d experienced before. He continued to look you in the eyes, kissing your lips and touching your face.

There was a weird contradiction between the forceful thrusts of his pelvis into yours and the gentleness of his face and hands. Something about that paradox of hard and soft that seemed to be a constant battle inside of himself had you falling apart.

And fuck, did you fall hard.

You wanted to have more of him, to see inside of him, and to give him whatever he needed. But of course, he pulled away the minute you suggested something more than what you were already getting from each other. He had made it very clear from the beginning. He wasn’t going to stay.

It had hurt, but that didn’t mean you stopped wanting him. It was too late by then. He was already inside you; in your brain and under your skin. When he wasn’t there, you could feel him and hear his voice in your head. All of those things he would tell you while his mouth roamed over your body, his eyes full of want and desire.

You feel so good

You’re stunning

Don’t stop, sweetheart, you’re doing so good for me

I need you, baby

The longer you let it drag on, the worse it got for you. He knew what you liked and how to give it to you. He knew what to say to make you forget everything else. When he was there, he made you his world; giving you everything you begged for and more.

Except for the one thing he never gave you, no matter how much you begged.

And you did beg. Shamefully and embarrassingly. You begged him to give you more of him. To know all of him. Not just the physical parts. You wanted to be in his head and in his soul. But he just gave you that look; the one that got you into this mess in the first place. And then he denied you all of it.

You knew why he had told you what he was. He was trying to scare you. Make you think he was a monster and finally give up on him. You had been asking him to stay again, questioning why he wouldn’t when he snapped. He threw you against the wall and pinned you there, teeth bared in a snarl, his face inches from yours.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to,” he had hissed.

“Try me,” you challenged.

You had seen the brief hesitation and confliction on his face, but then the anger was back and he spat it back at you.

“Fuck! Why are you so fucking stubborn? Fine, you want to know? Want to know why you’re going to regret all of this? I’m a killer. A fucking assassin and I kill people. I’ve killed hundreds and I’ll keep killing more!”

He was breathing hard as you stared at him, your eyes wide, while he still had you backed against the wall.

“So, what now, princess? Still think you want me?”

He had said it sarcastically, obviously thinking he already knew the answer. He thought you would push him away, or scream, or call him disgusting. Instead, you had looked in his eyes and you saw what he thought he had been hiding from you. The fear that was there. He was afraid you would push him away. Afraid you really would see him as a monster.

“Yes,” you had whispered with a nod.

Before he could answer, you had leaned in to kiss him, but he jerked his head back.

“Stop it,” he’d warned quietly. “You don’t want this.”

But you didn’t listen, and you leaned in again, hearing his breath catch in his throat. After he hesitated again, he gave in and let you brush your lips softly against his and he didn’t resist anymore. He let you kiss him and run your hands down his chest, until he was pressing you even harder into the wall, hands laced into your hair.

You’re not sure when it all became a turn-on. Or even why. It’s not like you’d ever thought murder or blood was sexy before.

But holy shit, when you saw that blood on him the first time, you thought you might come just from looking at him.

The only reason you can think of is that you know he is a hard, ruthless, unforgiving killer when he’s out there. But when he’s with you…you get to see a tiny part of him that very few others ever get to. When he’s soft and gentle and caressing your body with the warmest touch, it does something to you. Something weird and primal.

You like knowing what he’s capable of. You like knowing his secret. And you fucking love the fact that he can switch it off and on for you.

You want to hear the bloody details and see the gruesome evidence. You want to smell the dried sweat on him after a particularly draining day of tracking and killing. Because that means you get the other side of him. The one you can pretend is only for you.

Out of all your little fucked up fantasies, that one is probably the most delusional. You have never discussed exclusivity with each other before. There has hardly been a need to, considering how much time lapses in between meetings. It’s foolish of you to think you are the only one. Why would you be?

You know what he looks like and how he carries himself and how he fucks. To think that there are no other women out there taking advantage of his existence would be pretty fucking stupid.

But still, you let yourself fall into that trap sometimes. You imagine all of those days and weeks that will go by without him; when he won’t pick up the phone. You imagine him sitting there alone, thinking about you.

What a fucking idiot you are.

That’s why you had to tell yourself no more. You were cutting yourself off. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t healthy. You were becoming weird and obsessive and your self-confidence was shot. So, after one of those early mornings, when you caught him trying to slip out undetected, you told him you couldn’t do it anymore.

You told him to leave you alone. Told him to go fuck himself. Told him he was the worst person alive.

And he had just stood there, taking it all in, and not arguing. Then he had left, just like he was going to do anyway.

In hindsight, he didn’t deserve any of that. Or any of the times after that, when you had given in and started the whole pattern over again. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t plant these pathetic ideas into your brain. He never promised you anything. Yet, you still blamed him.

All of these thoughts are running through your head as you haul your heavy body up, pausing to sit on the edge of the bed for a minute, before getting up and making your way to the bathroom. As you wait for the shower to warm up, you look at your reflection in the mirror and you flinch. Leaning in closer, you run a finger over the tender mark on the side of your neck. A red and purple bruise that is too high and too big to be covered by a shirt collar or hair. Then you take in the rest of your body. You look like some sort of fucked up connect-the-dots puzzle.

Marks all over your collarbone, your shoulders, and your tits. You even find a few on your stomach and thighs. You don’t even remember getting those.

You might have been happy about it, or even turned on if it were another time. But your mind goes back to last night and everything that he said and did.

He said you were his. He told you only he could have you. He marked you for himself and for anyone else that might see you. He would kill anyone else that touched you.

Then he left.

And you’re standing here with his bites and bruises all over your body, and his dried cum between your legs, and you’re trapped again.

You’re not sure who you hate more, yourself or him.

The shower feels good on your skin as it washes away some of what he left behind. The water mixes with the tears that are slowly dripping down your face and that you are trying hard to ignore. You feel like shit. Just like you knew you would.

So, this is it. You are done. And this is not like all of the other times you’ve said the same thing, knowing in the back of your mind that you really didn’t have the strength to follow through. Now you do. And you believe yourself this time. He will never be completely yours and you are finally ready to accept that.

After you clean up and get dressed, you stare once again at the disheveled bed and you turn away from it. You’ll deal with it later. Right now you need some coffee. Maybe that will help clear your mind a bit.

As you pad down the hallway, you hear a noise and you stop. You hear it again and you continue on, slowly and cautiously towards the kitchen. And then you see him. Bent over in front of your open fridge and you rub your eyes like you must be hallucinating. You look around you, check the clock on the wall, and determine that yes, it is the morning.

What the fuck is happening?

“Five?” you whisper.

Your voice sounds weird to your own ears and you half expect him to realize he made a mistake and blink away without a word. But he doesn’t. Instead, he turns to you and offers you that fucking irritating smile that you both hate and love. And you don’t even know what to say.

***********************************************************************

The sun outside is blinding as I shove my hands in my pockets, hurrying along the sidewalk, my head down. I feel the worst I’ve ever felt, and that’s saying something. I fucked up big time and the shame is still lingering. I was manipulative and possessive and rough with her. And then I was gentle and loving. I told her she was beautiful and no one else could have her.

Then I left.

I can tell myself a million times over I’m doing it for her own good, and maybe that’s partially true. But really, it’s for me. Because I can’t pull my head out of my ass for long enough to acknowledge what I really want. At least outside of my own head.

As I’m silently berating myself, something has caught my eye and I stop dead in my tracks in the middle of the sidewalk. Up ahead, coming out of an apartment building is that guy. The one she was with last night. The one I wanted to murder at first glance.

He’s got his arm around a woman’s waist, and they are smiling and laughing together as they walk outside. She is pushing a stroller with a small girl sitting inside, and he is holding onto a leash with a golden retriever on the other end of it. The woman is wearing a wedding ring with a diamond so big I can see it from here, and they carry on down the street, the perfect picture of the American family.

This time, on top of wanting to blow this guy’s fucking head off his shoulders, I want to expose him for what he is. I want to confront his wife; let her know the kind of man she’s married to and what he was up to the night before. Then maybe she’ll give me the go-ahead to at least punch him in the face.

Two things stop me, though. One is that they have a kid. And growing up knowing that your dad is a complete and total dickwad is not fun. Trust me on that. I figure she’ll find out soon enough, she doesn’t need me to bring that little piece of information to light for her.

The second thing is that I realize I am just like him.

It hits me like a punch to the gut and for a brief moment it actually hurts to take a breath in. Here I am getting pissed about this random guy’s behavior when really, he’s no different than myself. We’ve both lied to her. We’ve both used her. Maybe he didn’t get to fuck her, but he would have if I hadn’t cock blocked him.

Wow, you are one giant piece of shit.

The more I think about it, the more I realize this. Instead of killing him, I should go up to him and shake his hand. Welcome him to the club of heartless assholes; maybe buy him a drink and exchange stories of how we’re the scum of the earth. Fuck, we should be best fucking friends!

Is this what I want? Do I want to spend the rest of my life in the company of these kinds of people? People who are weak and cowardly and use others for their own selfish needs? No, I do not. And I also do not want her to be subjected to more of the same. She’s already had to deal with me; she doesn’t need to go through this with someone else.

I can fix this, though. I can do what I should have done from the start. I don’t have to be like him. I have a choice.

I turn immediately and start making my way back the way I came. I have no idea what I’m going to say or how this is going to work. I don’t know how the fuck to be in a real relationship and I sure as hell don’t know how I’m going to fit into her life. I also don’t know if she’ll even want me. But I have to try this time.

I blink inside like I always do, not even thinking about it. I’m jumpy with nerves and my palms are starting to sweat. I can hear the shower running and I think about blinking in there with her, but quickly decide that I do not want to give her a heart attack or get my balls kicked in, so instead I wait.

What do normal people do in these situations? I look around me. I should do something nice, like make her breakfast. Do I even know what she likes to eat? No, because I’ve always left before I’ve needed to find out. Dick.

Eggs seem like a pretty safe bet, so I start rummaging around in her refrigerator. As I’m pulling out the carton, I hear my name and I turn to see her standing there. She is obviously confused as to why I’m here and I smile because she’s so fucking cute with that dumb look on her face.

“What are you…did you forget something?” she asks, her eyes darting nervously away from mine.

I hold out the carton of eggs I have in my hand. “Yeah, I needed to borrow a few eggs, do you mind?”

That was my lame attempt at a joke and I can see it landed so far off the mark I can’t even see it anymore. She’s staring at me with a deep crease between her eyebrows and her mouth half open like she can’t quite decide if she should say something more or hurl the nearest sharpest object at my head.

I give a short, embarrassed laugh and I set the carton on the counter and run a hand through my hair.

“Sorry. I didn’t come here for eggs.”

“Then why are you here?”

I can hear the tremble in her voice and I know it’s because she is afraid of my answer. She’s afraid I’m going to make her feel even worse than she already does. It sucks but I understand.

“I came back to tell you…” my voice trails off because I have no idea what to say. I clear my throat and try again. “I came back to tell you a lot of things, actually. But the main thing is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I have done and everything I should have done but didn’t. You deserve much more than I have ever given you and I am so sorry for that.”

She is still looking at me very suspiciously and she is not saying anything, so I press on.

“I’ve been trying to stay away because I think you deserve someone better than me. Someone who can be a part of your life in all of the ways I don’t know how. I still think that, but I don’t want to keep doing this anymore. I want you.”

Her eyebrows draw together even more and she blinks a few times before speaking.

“What do you mean you want me?”

I lean up against the counter and take a deep breath. “I want you. All of you. I don’t just want the sex. I want everything and anything you want to give me.”

She swallows hard and shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Five, I don’t really…I don’t know what to say.”

I nod and look at the floor. “I understand if you want nothing to do with me. I fully deserve for you to kick me out right now and never talk to me again.”

She shakes her head. “No, that’s not what I mean. Do you know how long I have wanted to hear something like this from you? It’s fucking pathetic how long. But now that I’m hearing it, I’m having a hard time believing you.”

I run another hand through my hair and down the back of my neck. “I understand,” I say again, fully expecting to get the lecture I have coming to me.

Instead, she’s walking over to me, eyes locked on mine. She throws her body against mine and hugs me tightly around my waist and I hear and feel her take a big breath in and let it out. I wrap my arms around her in return, but I don’t know what else to say.

“Don’t lie to me,” she says quietly but firmly. “If you’re lying and you leave again, you need to stay gone.”

“I’m not lying. I want this. I might not know what the fuck I’m doing or how to do any of this, but I’m going to try.” She looks up at me and I trace my fingers down the side of her face. “I know what I want, and it’s you.”

I barely register what is happening next as she jumps into my arms, legs wrapped around me, and she’s kissing me hard and deep. I don’t even know what this means yet, but I don’t want it to end. Her body is warm as she clings to me and I never want to let her go. I tell her that in between hungry kisses and I blink us both into the bedroom where I throw her onto the bed.

I have never seen her in the bright light of the day before, and she’s even more gorgeous this way. It makes me wonder what the hell took me so long. As I lie down next to her, I place light kisses on the mark I left on her neck.

“Does it hurt?” I whisper.

“Not anymore,” she says, before pulling me back in again, covering my mouth with her own.

We don’t feel the need to hurry things along this time, and we take the time to kiss and feel one another until the urge is too strong and we can’t wait anymore. When she’s fully naked and laid out beneath me, the morning sun still shining through the window, I see my map of possessive calling cards I left all over her body. I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m most definitely turned on by that.

“Damn it, you’re beautiful like this.”

She smiles and pulls me in again, opening her legs for me so I can be inside of her, which is what I’m dying for. I don’t want to rush it though, so I thrust into her slow and gentle, covering her neck and face in more kisses. When our eyes meet, I want to tell her so many things.

“You’re the only one, you know. There’s no one else,” I confess as I drag my lips across the shell of her ear.

I hear her whimper and when I look again, she’s crying. I stop, thinking I said something wrong, but she only smiles through her tears and pulls me closer with her legs, pushing her hips up to let me know to keep going.

I shove my cock in deeper and harder. I want to hear her moan and cry for me and only me. She is arching her back and clutching at my body like she’s afraid I’m going to leave right here and now. And I feel terrible that I made her feel that way. I only want to make her feel good.

“I’m sorry,” I moan against her skin as I drive into her even harder. “I’m sorry.”

I pick up her leg and put it on my shoulder, making her mouth fall open as she lets out a loud cry.

“Oh fuck, Five…” she screams.

Just hearing that is almost enough to make me come, but I want more and so I ram into her harder and faster until her loud moans match the rhythm of my fucking. I want to fill her up again, make her mine again, and listen to my name emanating from her mouth in long sobs.

“You’re mine,” I tell her, and I can’t even stop myself. It’s all I can think as I desperately thrust into her, as hard as I dare without hurting her.

I groan, closing my eyes, as I feel her hand in my hair, threading her fingers through it. Her touch feels so good and I let her pull my face down to hers so she can kiss me again. I love the way she kisses me.

“I’m yours,” she responds before throwing her head back, exposing her neck, and I want to leave more marks on that beautiful skin, but I resist this time.

Instead, I bury my face in between her neck and shoulder and keep fucking her. She’s writhing and clawing at my back and she’s on the edge of coming. So, I keep doing what I’ve been doing and pound into her hard and relentlessly. She reaches down between us to finger her clit and the sight and feel of that is too much, because holy fuck, is that hot.

“Oh shit, baby, I’m…” I groan loudly as I unload inside of her at the same time she is shaking and shuddering beneath me.

Afterwards, when we’re both gasping for air, I pull out but I don’t move off of her. I want to stay right here, with her legs and arms wrapped tightly around me, feeling her breath against my neck and her fingers tracing over my skin. I’m so filled with every emotion imaginable and I don’t even know what to say or do. So, I say the only thing I can think of that might somehow convey everything.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my mouth pressed against her sweat-damp shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I tell her as I move to her face, kissing her mouth, her cheeks, and her forehead. “I’m sorry,” I confess as I lay my head on her chest and close my eyes against the hot tears I can feel forming behind my eyelids.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

I’m chanting it like it’s somehow going to erase all of the things I have done. And not just to her. I’m sorry for so many things I can’t even name them all. But once I start saying it, I can’t stop and I’m just so fucking sorry for everything in my goddamn life. And I know it’s not going to change anything, or change the kind of person I was and still am. I know that. Still, it keeps rising out of me, taking on a life of its own, and I can’t seem to stop.

“I’m sorry…”

“Five, it’s ok. Five, look at me.”

I finally shut up and open my eyes to look at her.

“It’s going to be ok,” she says softly. “We’re going to be ok.”

I don’t even know what to say to that because I want to believe it so badly, but it’s just so hard to. I nod my head and kiss her lips and move off of her so I can lie next to her instead. When I pull her to me, her back to my chest, I feel the best I’ve ever felt. I still don’t know how to do this, or how to fix things, or what tomorrow is going to bring. But I’m going to stay this time, I know that much.

She is my weakness and my strength and everything that makes me whole. She is finally mine.

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