#ummmmm ur mom

[giventakes]

its been awhile since my last post apologizing 4 not being here so heres another: sorry <3

#im always like hell yeah. writing today #then i open my laptop n go ummmmm nvm #shawty give me whip-whiplash shawty give me whip-whiplash #maybe ill do the itsy bitsy replies i owe later but that is only if my brain cooperates <3 #ooc: ur mom.

[tlgad1989]

Hi ummmmm could i get a “I’m personally offended that you didn’t ask me to be your fake date.” with Kol Mikaelson please, idk why i pretended this was a drive thru im-

anyway hope ur having a great day x

hi anon! thank you for being my first submission! ❤️

Not Possible

Kol Mikaelson x Salvatore best friend! reader

Warnings: not really a warning but use of Y/N

A/N: sorry i dropped off the face of the earth except to reblog taylor swift… it’s okay i’m back now! but Damon and Reader are besties ngl

Kol Mikaelson masterlist

Masterlist

••••••••••

Damon had his hand on the small of my back and I was smiling broadly, trying to pretend that I wanted to be at my parents’ ball. My dad was throwing a ball to celebrate me graduating high school, and everyone in Mystic Falls was here. My mom was hanging on my dad, already tipsy.

“You okay?” Damon whispered.

“Yeah.” We were talking out of the corners of our mouths, barely loud enough to hear. Of course, no human would hear anyway, Damon had turned me a couple months ago, around when Elijah showed up.

“Y/N.” Damon poked my side.

“What?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

“Look behind you.”

Discreetly looking by flipping my hair, I saw Kol, Rebekah, and Elijah greeting people. Turning back to Damon, I sighed. “This is going to get a lot worse, isn’t it?”

“Unless you count a lot of fake smiles as fun, then yes.”

The three Originals approached us and we greeted them with fake smiles. “Kol, Elijah, Rebekah. To what do we owe the honor?”

Elijah smiled. “We just wanted to come to your party and see what was happening.”

Rebekah was scanning me. “Your dress is cute.” She said, and somehow I knew she was telling the truth.

“Thank you.”

Kol smiled. “I only came because Klaus was getting angry.”

“A smart choice.” Damon said.

The music changed to a waltz piece and Kol offered me his hand. “Will you please dance with me, darling?”

“Of course.” I took his hand and followed him through the crowd, glancing back at Damon to see him giving me a little thumbs up. I flipped him off.

“So,” Kol began as we started dancing. “You and Damon?”

“No, I had to have a date for this. My parents’ wishes.” I rolled my eyes. “So I just told them Damon is my date and he showed up.”

“You know, love, I’m personally offended you didn’t ask me to be your fake date.”

“Why would I do that?”

Kol pulled me closer. “Because you love me.”

I laughed softly. “You really have high aspirations.”

“No, I just have a beautiful girl in my arms.”

I just rolled my eyes at him.

-two months later-

There was a knock on the door of the Salvatore mansion, and Damon got off the couch, sighing, to go open it. “What?” He asked, opening it.

“Hello, Damon. Is Y/N here?”

“Hold on. N/N! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HERE!” Damon opened the door farther, gesturing for Kol to come in. “She’ll be down in a minute.” Damon went back to the couch as I descended the stairs.

“Thanks for the help, Damon.” I said sarcastically.

“No problem. Have fun, but not too much fun. Don’t stay out too late, but don’t come home early.” The door was already closed by the time he finished.

“Hello, darling.” Kol pulled me into a bruising kiss.

“Hi.” I said, almost shyly.

“Are you ready for our fake date?” He offered me his arm.

“Get over it! I still hated you then.”

“I always loved you, so how rude is that?” He had a hand on the small of my back as he walked me to his car, opening the passenger door for me before closing the door and getting in the driver’s seat.

“I love you.” I said, looking over at him.

“I love you more.”

“Not possible.”

••••••••••••••••

Thank you all for reading!

#kol mikaelson x you #kol mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #kol mikealson x reader #kol mikaelson x reader #kol x reader #kol michaelson #kol #the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd damon #damon salvatore #damon x reader #damon salvarote #rebekah mikealson x reader #rebekah mikaelson #elijah mikealson x reader #elijah mikaelson

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

CKB hear me out. Haters will say it's fake but ....... blanche youngest child. The Victorian maid garb? He's tired of being in the shadows of those before him and is trying to set his own identity. Extreme violence? A big ol temper tantrum and cry for attention. I dare say i would lean on him being youngest child just because Lev fits the disaster middle child ALL too well 😮‍💨.

I see why some will say Lev as the youngest but i feel like he's suuuuch a middle kid like, even if he's stupid, he'd having a good time and that's all he cares about. I feel like youngests are actually more deceitful and tricky wheras middle kids are pretty true to themselves and more easygoing? Like them youngest kids are used to sneaking around and just so cunning, showing different faces (not unlike blanche who does a 180)

Like blanche, yves can also fit all 3 perfectly. He does kinda seem like the overstressed, overworked, will nag out of love, can never relax, will shoulder responsibility for you eldest child (i feel like eldest children also have a really clean aesthetic? Middle kids are either cozy wear or pop the Fuck off. And youngest kids are always flashy but in their own way and my god if that isnt blanche 💀)

Also i feel like eldest kids (yves) have a great fear or failure and losing things so theyre lowkey control freaks. Youngest kids (blanche) are oddly possessive and entitled like they think the last slice of pizza is their god given right. And middle kids (lev) are so used to losing things that they get obsessive over the things they do have, and a bit pathetic abt it if they feel it slipping away.

Youngest kid blanch really does seem like a big brat (but who cares) to me. Like he sees reader as his dead pet hamster that he accidentally squeezed to death trying to hug it but he refuses to believe it's dead so he keeps leaving food out for it and stroking it. Middle kid Lev sees you as a cute hamster and buys you cool wheels and a rolling ball and toys and sleeps with you in his bed. Eldest Yves will not allow anything to happen to pet hamster so he has a seperate temperature controlled room for it, homemade pellets, probably wipes hammies ass after it poops and everything.

This was just my random musing though and im excited to see what you end up making the order!!

Also i think i was ur 🐰 anon and i used to send in all those theories for language barrier LOL. Ummmmm the bunny thing *totally* didn't have to do with Lev, so, uh, don't tell Blanche, my latest hyperfixation 🤭 (or Cyprus because goddamn-)

🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: Oh! Also feel like blanche would be a lot younger than the other two. Like modern au or whatever if they were all together, yves moved out when blanche was a kid (because he was independent) lev was never home bc he was always out and just kinda ended up living w one of his friends (never 'officially' moved out but he's living elsewhere) and followed the party life, and blanche was probably raised and spoiled by a family elder, making him feel like an 'old soul born in the wrong generation'. But hold onnn i didnt know therewas a blanche pt 2, lemme go read that and see if it changes things LOL 🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: no blanche is actually so middle/youngest child coded it's insane bc i refuse to let go of middle child lev (actually i need to give bunny a reread before that too, and ofc more content on him when it comes out lol) but brooooo them youngest kids be weird as FUCK like, smth abt blanche feels like he's playing dressup, pretending and trying so hard to be this old fashioned adult gentleman, meanwhile yves actually is more calculated, composed and knows what to do for his shit. I actually initially thought of yves being the youngest but i feel like blanche being youngest fits so much better imo. Like blanche is just here to do his own shit, he's a bit selfish, and pushes for hinself. Yves puts his responsibility first and pushes for reader. Plus yves has that blonde mom in target drinking a coffee doing 3 hours of shopping in 12 minutes before her next hot yoga class and thats soooo eldest child coded. Idk something abt blanche as a person (not a character) seems so underdeveloped and child like in a disturbing yet innocent way? 🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: "unromancable, unfuckable weirdo." No im sorry Blanche is actually the youngest child Bunny anon

Holy fuckin shit bunny anon always comign in with a banger , yess that's what im talking about them tasty brain chews i like i like

shid man like u really lay out their vibes and everything and even imagined them in modern AUs , presented evidence and cited your source like what the fuck this is such a good analysis like damn bro i fr appreciate the enthusiasm

Like all the stuff you sair fr made sense even to someone who has no siblings, its as if i had those little shits living in the same house as me and i observed the dynamic, like yeah damn Yves really fit the oldest child

Its really fitting cause if you think about it, they're all like centuries old or whatever and both Yves and Leveret are pretty youthful looking with no grey hairs- they went on their own quests to preserve their looks, Whereas Blanche is considered to be the most unkempt out of the three with his salt and pepper hair growing uncontrollably to the back of his knees, no manicures just natural long nails but he's still considered youthful cause ykno 50 year old looking man vs his actual 5 million year old age , but it just shows that he doesn't care about looking youthful as much as his older brothers

i notice the older siblings from other relatives and friends they tend to looksmaxx more than the younger ones. and they try to keep up trends, like Yves and Leveret is pretty modern whereas Blanche is fuckin ancient with his stuff, mannerisms and dressing up

and yes he is ironically the most immature (as in childlike) of them all, even tho leveret is like spontaneous and has his slipups, but damn bunny anon like ur analysis is always bangers like what the hell bro i love them and i love you

#yandere oc #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere male #oc yves #oc leveret #oc blanche #yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc x reader #yandere ocs

[nattinatalia]

Liked by jackharlow, yourbestiename, druski2funny, and 7,800,300 others

urbanwyatt Blurry nights with my baby girl 💖

View all 1,400 comments

druski2funny We’re insta official?

urbanwyatt 🤔 Always were

jackharlow 😂

yourbestiename Always? haha ok please don’t lie. I witness 4 months of sexual tension and I’m just happy ya are finally together.

yourusername What did we learn?

urbanwyatt Don’t

druski2funny Please do……

yourusername A woman can play a man’s game better 💅🏼 🤪🤭

urbanwyatt We’re not discussing this anymore.

jackharlow lmao because we all know you lost this game 😫😤

urbanwyatt I’ll loose every game to her 🫡

yourusername 🥺💖

💙💖

Liked by yourbestiename, princeroyce, jackharlow, and 9,700,300 others

yourusername In-N-Out dates with him 💖

View all 9,300 comments

yourbestiename 😱

urbanwyatt What? Why are you surprised?

yourbestiename Y’all are really together together if y’all are posting each other.

urbanwyatt You thought I was letting her ass play out there in Miami? Hell no. That ass belongs to me.

druski2funny Does it though? It took you 4 months to realize 🤣🤣

yourbestiename Ok I’m happy to see you don’t stir the pot with only Jack and me 🤪

yourusername He loves to stir shit up between all of us. He better watch his ass.

randomchick 🙄 He’s literally a player. Ur dumb if you think he’s gonna commit to you

yourusername Just admit you’re mad it’s not you. It’s fine, I understand 😚

randomchick Girl he was literally in my friends dms not too long ago 😅

yourusername He can be in anyones dms, wanna see mine? Plus he’s inside me every night so we’re cool.

jackharlow A YOOOO 😳😳🥶

randomguy How did he bag such a hottie tho

urbanwyatt With my monster dick, you wanna see???? I’m also pretty sure she said something about my mouth and tongue 👅

randomchick I’ll give this wanna be relationship 2 weeks tops and that’s putting it lightly.

yourusername Sit down little girl, you’re trying too much. Tell you what? I’ll ask him if he wants to fuck you, I don’t mind sharing, but know that I’m in control when it comes to three sums 😉 shit, we can all have an orgy if you’re all up for it.

yourbestiename I’m out ✌🏼 😬

jackharlow No orgys anywhere

druski2funny Is this an open invitation because I accept 🤭🤭

urbanwyatt She’s down to share, but I’m not so no wtf

yourusername Babyyyy, but we used to share all the time 🤪

urbanwyatt Stop spilling all our secrets 😅

randomguy and after you’re done with him I’ll show you what a real man looks like.

yourusername Ewwww 🤮

urbanwyatt Na my guy, you wouldn’t know how to handle her. My baby is a freak through and through, too much for you. We’re good, she’s good with me.

randomchick I bet they’re not even together just posting old pictures

yourusername Bitch why do you care? Shit I’ll go on live right now and spit in his mouth so all of you can shut the fuck up. Wait, don’t tell me you want a video of him cumming in me and on me????? Holy shit you worry too much for a guy you don’t even know.

yourbestiename Spit in his mouth? What nasty shit are you guys into 😳 babe pick me up, I’m scared.

jackharlow Mamas, we do more freaky things than that.

yourbestiename What are you talking about? I’m a saint. Mom, don’t believe him!!!!!!!!

jackharlow SHIT I forgot she’s on here 😫😫

jackharlow Wait, how does she think her grand babies got here????

druski2funny Can we go back to the sharing and spitting in peoples mouth????

urbanwyatt 😂😂😂😂😂

yourusername Druski, we don’t share with our close friends 😏 has to be strangers because we don’t like shit to be weird. Why’d you think I haven’t done round 2 with y/bestie/name? she doesn’t share Jack and that’s like my brother.

urbanwyatt Wait round 2 ??

jackharlow Round 2, y/bestie/name what does she mean with that?

yourbestiename 🤭🤭🤭 See what had happened there was… ummmmm, wait do you hear that? the kids are crying……

jackharlow Ohh naaa, I’m getting answers. Let’s go get the kids and you’re telling me this round 1 thing..

druski2funny Y/n spill the tea sis

urbanwyatt Yea tell us 🧐

yourusername 😂🤭 What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Also we were 19, drunk and experiencing. She will never do that again especially sharing her man, and I’m pretty sure her man wouldn’t share with just me and Urb 😂😂😂😂 

druski2funny Jack and Urban used to share all the damn time and now they’re against it? 😏😏😏

urbanwyatt No one is sharing anyone anymore!!!!! 😤😤😤😤😤

yourusername Boringgggg 🥱

urbanwyatt You know us in bed is far from boring.

yourusername Yes I do 🤤🤤🤤😋

druski2funny so I guess that’s a no on sharing and posting a video of you spitting in his mouth????

urbanwyatt oh the spitting video can be send to you in a little 😏

druski2funny Please don’t, I was joking. That shit sounds disgusting. Ya into some weird ass shit.

yourusername 😂😂😂

#urban wyatt x y/n #instagram au #urban Wyatt

[mastermindzanos]

The troublesome 3some

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧

⭐️🥵😒Part 1😏🥶🌙

Securitypuppet: such a normal day in ohio ^^

Moltenfreddy: hey sam sams

Securitypuppet: *sweat sweat* ummm hoi moltin

Moltenfreddy: since lefy ain't watchin I was wonderin if wecould dance lmao

Securitypuppet: o-oh..... of course.. ❤

Moltenfreddy: ❤️

🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

✨️✨️🏳️‍🌈✨️✨️

Lefty:Hey molten tin TiN tIn tin..... .O. MOLTEN

Moltenfreddy: wait- I CAN EXPLAIN

Securitypuppet:MUAHAHAHAHHAHHA-

✨️🧢 Part 2 🧢✨️

Lefty: IMA TELL MOMMY MOLTEN

Moltenfreddy: quick lets have a kissy kiss

Securitypuppet: k only for a few secs

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️intense smootching❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Lefty: MOM THEY ARE RIGHT-.......there..... 👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Linnet:wtf. Da frick goin on

Moltenfreddy: ummmmm •○• IS THAT UR MOM 🤣😅😅😅😅😅😅💀💀💀🤡🤡🤡🤡🧢🧢🧢🧢

Securitypuppet: UHHHH MOM DIS AINT WAT IT LOOKS LIKE :(

🧢💀Part 3💀❤️

Linnet: they look so cute together lol

Henry: appears* ain't that right linnykins? 😏

Linnet:😳😳😳💀💀💀💀💀😳😳😳😳😳😳❤❤❤❤❤❤💦

Scraptrap: cmon female chick chick we ur kids before I kill them again

Henry: shut-up will 🤬

Securitypuppet: wait- sweat sweat** wat goin on-

Lefty: S A M M Y

STOP BEING WITH MY MOLTIN TIN TIN TIN TIN TIN TIN TIN

Moltenfreddy: wait lefy :( I'm poly woly 😓

Lefty: oOo ..................... WAIT W H A T?!?!?!?!?!!??

Securitypuppet: UMMMMMM HEH HEH?.......uh oh... :•[

:D

BonBon:Wow Honestly, i'm glad to not be Fred!

#answered #masterpiece #ffps

[fatdyke420]

ok lol just fun little update on living with my parents um so bad and awful my mom kicked me out yesterday and while i was trying to find a place to go i guess my dad convinced her to let me stay ummmmm need to get out asap tho bc it's not a stable situation and who knows she could decide to kick me out again at any time um she keeps saying im entitled and she has no obligation to me which girl u gave birth to me but ok also im like can she acknowledge that she escalated the situation that led to her kicking me out like i handled it poorly once it was escalated but she escalated it and my dad is like "well either u drop it or ur on the streets" so like LOL

#anyway usually excuse my family for bullshit like this bc i know i am not easy to live with and have put them through so much with the well #being insane and autistic thing #but this is like.......so evil she has so much power over me in this situation #idk shes like been trying to distance herself from me give me more independence which ok #but she's not going about it in a good way lol

[daisysplosion]

tagged by @spamton hehe

Prompt: make yourself in this picrew and post the last song you listened to!

i tag ummmmm ur mom >:P

#ryan's text tag #tag game

[boujeebardienvythisplease]

ayeeeee ! heyyyy dolls n gents yasssss...

Ok so im baq... baq ... baq, baq blogging again: I had to take some time off n get baq n2 school n blog. Now that I actually know what I am doing with this whole radio college life shit I am like omg no wat! abbreviate that O.M.G... dolls! I am like almost about to be n my mid thirties and this business of mines we have 2 " TURN things around and turn it up 2 get people attention 2 where you guys can buy my soon 2 b products coming soon n the website u cannot get ur eyes off of my products like u just want 2 steal them off the shelves if I have a store that's n the future the long run. And ummmmmmmmmmmmmm. The birthday tradition go 2 a mavs game with my mom n just have fun lol. I dont know ? yet what I wont 2 do on my birthday after graduation I plan on going to the houston and the Mavericks dallas texas basketball game . But look down below when that time comes I will take a picture when I am at the arena by myself n Just wild the fuck out okay. N oh yeah happy birthday mom she something this old like up there with Opera but she getting 2 the point she can just b sickness n2 she die type of stuff n u know the type old people set n there rocking chair looking out the window . N yeah i might have 2 say I have a 12 step confession 2 make : i AM addicted 2 my social media sites I be on 4 this business people r just getting me feedback like good vs. the bad ... vs the " UGLY " so I will be in business another year I mean since 18 people I be like the song by now " It's getting hot n here r was it the other "( NELLY)" SONG ummmmm shhhh lol. I dont know i didnt write the song I do not own the song. I just like the song. Okay..... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it might b on my throwback playlist off of youtube yassssssssssssssssssssssss n im out .

Bye .

Upcoming DJ/Podcaster/Blogger& Youtuber : Im am gonna b insta famous one day reach my goal of 10k n then let it grow n b known through out the whole texas n make the morning news one day. Like oh u guys stole the words right out of my mouth can I get a discount on cable bill or at a local family dollar store so I can watch u guys every morning at 5am at 12pm and at 4pm so I can stir behind my crush baq when he not looking at the Dallas Mavericks Basketball team n pretend like I got wedding bells ding donging n my head all day.

Lol .

Ok look at what's new n my blogs.

Yassssssssssssssssss the hastag bitchies.

Bye.

Upcoming : Dj/Podcaster/Blogger/Youtuber & Cartoonist/ Animator I am blog host, your host " Tha _ Bardi Oh with the $ . N I use that to make my community feel happy like they belong . I dont wont to end up somewhere n someone says if I ever end up on the news that I never serve the community ... Will bitchies here your cup of tea on informational stuff that needs to be put out there for you to take an advantage of n use it your full advantage I say fight and be brave n encourage to yourself 2 live life 2 tha fullest.

Bye okay im gone im still on hold from waiting 4 customer service 2 pick up the phone.

Okay enjoy playlist I know I will.

The playlist is on youtube link coming soon: Will u ready here it is :

---> The youtube playlist link are : YouTube Music ---> THATS COMING SOON.

[stevenose]

i got my wisdom teeth out a few months ago and if you aren’t in pain, eating soup with SOFT (key word soft) things in it should be fine!!! make sure to rinse out ur mouth rlly good a couple times a day and you’ll be right as rain!

did they let u keep ur teeth? i asked for mine at the beginning of surgery and they forgot so the second i got in my mom’s car, drugged out of my mind, i said “they were supposed to give me my teeth and i think they forgot” and i made her CALL THE OFFICE WHILE WE WERE SITTING OUTSIDE. i got my teeth tho ❤️

scout thank u for ur wisdom <3 this makes me feel better about me soupscapades hehe

AND NO 💔💔💔 i asked and they said they were biohazards i said ummmmm………. a little rude of u……. but they did let me see them and they were so cute. i’m so sad i wanted to make a necklace out of them 💔 homophobia

#stevenose posts #scout tag

[rikasfundingassociates]

[New Recording] The Gamer

This interview originally took place on May 7th, 2023.

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Once looking at the screen - you've begun to take notice to a messy apartment, yet a little neat at the same time. It gives off the aura of someplace at least kept up, and lived in at the same time. Especially considering the person sitting infront of it, peering towards the screen with an intent curiosity, shuffling around for another fleeting moment to fix up anything last minute. ..he seems to be the one living in it. Finally, though - he stops and pays his full attention in your direction with a playful grin on his face. He seems to move around when he sits, whether it's a chosen of shifting how he's sat, or just glancing around, before finally waving to greet you.

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[GAMER]: "I think it's good to go now- Hii! This is Cayden Emberbloom! What's up?"

HI CAYDEN!!

CAYDEN: "HI!!!!"

HI CAYDEN!! just a lil question,,,,, can you tell me whos the guitarist from the popular band Queen? :)

"Oh my God! Wait I love Queen, it's, like, uhhhh.." He leans back in his seat, kicking his feet a little bit. "..Brian May!"

Where’d u get the shirt

"Uhhh, ..Hm. I think I thrifted it from somewhere ,, dunno if I remember, oops—"

do you like the sky?

"I mean, it's like always around us - or, ..well, like, above us — how could I not?"

Cayden do you slay

"Everyday." ok pal.

cayden how many european countries can you name?

"Ummmmm.." .. He shrugs, and seems to count on his fingers, ..as if that's any help. But sadly, he just .. shrugs again. "I dunno. Like maybe two??"

Cayden thoughts on detectives/investigators

"Like, in the movies? Sherlock Holmes and stuff? That's cool. ..I don't actually think I've watched Sherlock Holmes."

What is your ideal pet, basic or exotic or whatever? Any animal. Maybe even all the animal!!

"..I want a dog. Like, any kind. Maybe those really tiny fluffy ones. ..I forgot their names." :]!

Cayden what is your home address and mother's maiden name

"oh em gee." He actually said that . ".. jokes on you, I have an apartment -" There's still an address to that. he's trying. it's the thought that counts.

Cayden how do you feel about red heads

"Like- red red hair cause like, some people call people with ginger hair red heads but- Red hair's a cool color." ' '..

Do you have any siblings?

"Two sisters!"

would you rather save 20 people from a volcano or get a kiss from a man

... "Uhhhhh." he's thinking on it. "It'd be funny if I chose the second option - but, I'll save the twenty people cause that's cool."

Cayden what's your opinion on men assigning u flowers I've met two so far that do this and it doesn't seem to be stopping

".. I've like, never met someone who does that, but I think it's cool if someone wants to! I don't like, actually know a lot of flowers.. unless they're like the really basic ones."

Cayden, do you think you're normal

"I'd hope so," ^^? "I think I am!"

CAYDEN! what do you think made a person good

"Ooh, um, this sounds like a deep question. I guess if they aren't like .. uh, ..evil they're good? Or, like, people who are kind and stuff. I don't think I'm being specific enough here, ..or actually getting a point across."

"I think people that are like good are people who don't go out of their way to hurt others and, stuff, - ..maybe that's basic, though!"

Cayden are you pro hater behavior

"Umm, maybe! Depends."

cayden whats your favourite urban dictionary definition

"I literally cannot remember a time where I willingly looked for a definition on that website."

Hey Cyaden.... Cayden...... Ur mom

"Woah."

Favourite song :)? One that youd say “ oh yeah THIS is my THEME SONG for SURE !!”

"Dunno if I've got like a theme song, but I like any songs really too, ..'specially any old rock music. I think that stuff's cool. I could never choose a favorite.." ;;

hey cayden whats your opinion about the emoji below

"I like it. It's funny ....."

CAYDEN, THE UFO. THERES A UFO BEHIND YOU CAYDEN. WATCH OUT!!! LOOK!!! BEHIND YOU!!!!

"wait wouldn't i hear it break in my apartment I thought those things were big???" Still, hes turning around. ufo is not in sight . He's been bamboozled..

Hey Cayden if Katy is Perry than who parodies the platypus

"..its me.. I parody the platypus... I make the hit platypus paradoy music...."

IT'S INVISIBLE CAYDEN THE ALIENS HAVE GROWN SNEAKY YOU JUST CAN'T SEE IT PLEASE BE SAFE KING

"THANK YOU .. I WILL..."

sending you prayers cayden. the aliens have mastered the art of invisibility. good luck.

"The prayers are in my thoughts... thank you so much..."

Cayden if you could have a superpower what would it be :3

"Hmm .. Maybe like, flying or something - that'd be cool to do. Or, like, ..teleporting? I'd wanna know what that's like. Sounds cool."

hey cayden who would be your doofenshmirtz

"Hm.. I dunno if anyone really reminds me of that guy, ..maybe I'll just work with the dude myself. Real deal and stuff."

cayden,,,, i love you but. he's fictional.

"....nuh-uh......"

Cayden, any shows/series/movies you like?

"Ah, off the top of my head? I like Pokémon. I always thought that was cool."

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CAYDEN: [After a moment, he leans forward, to say goodbye.]

"I've had a lot of fun talking with you guys! You're all really cool, but, I should probably get going..."

[With that, Cayden flashes one more smile at the screen with a wave - before it shuts off!]

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Recording and audio provided by [UNKNOWN]: do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now do i have your attention now

#kgrp #teaser

[teruthecreator]

how come parents are only now becoming attentive to their children’s emotional needs and thoughts??? y’all see a pandemic and go “oh NOW is when i’m going to actually give a shit about my children and want to spend time with them” 

bitch stfu and go back to watching hgtv!! too little too late honey!! that emotional wall has been built for ages now!! 

#ignorance cloud on #no im not bitter that my gf's parents keep pulling her away to do family time idk what ur talking about hgjrbhjrbjhrgbrjgrgbjhrg #i just!!! hhh!!! i want to hang out!!! why do parents suddenly care abt us!!! #even my mom is starting to pretend she gives a shit like ummmmm maam i stopped telling u my actual feelings years ago #thats why i got therapy hun

[sofyasemyonovna]

when did u lose ur v card

ummmmm to ur mom last night lol

[windblume]

venti xiao and ummmmm ur mom lol. oh nvm i also associate u with mafumafu's little white haired catboy avatar

SO TRUE... mafumafu my beloved ❤️❤️❤️

#venti and xiao. as expected.... 😏 #ask game #groovymix #rosa 🎟

[ayzrules]

10 Signs That You’re in an Ayz Novel/Project/Writing Collab/Rp/~Thing~

tagged by @homesteadchronicles​ <3! tysm for tagging me - i love these things!!!

1. SILK & STEEL MOTIFS - [ mai, rowena, camila (ish), all of proper young killing machines! ] ever since i was 14-15 and obsessing over book!sansa / book!margaery, and only enhanced by my gail carriger phase. maybe it has to do with the fact that i’m too lazy to ever get into a physical fight myself? LMAO but i love writing snakey political girls who don’t really do ~fighty~ stuff but absolutely are plotting something and will manipulate/backstab their way to getting it. and ofc they hide all of that behind perfect manners & designer gowns & high heels ;D. normally about working with the system & bending it to their advantage for w/e reason (revenge is pretty common lol), not necessarily destroying the system & making something new/better. which segues into:

2. ICE QUEEN TROPES - [ izzy, mari, yinmei ] i first started writing these girls as a direct foil to #1; i would say characters in both of these categories are just as ruthless as each other, but #2 are more obvious/overt about it and v v v blunt. instead of working with & manipulating the system, these girls tend to be the type to just break it apart with a sledgehammer, hahahha. sub-category/spinoff being the too-old/tired-for-your-shit-so-pls-fuck-off kind of vibe ;DDD

3. THE VERY MEAN VERY TERRIBLE GIRL W QUESTIONABLE MORALS IS A MAIN POV AND ALSO MY FAVORITE AND NO I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE - [ tess + camila, kyvana, tselvya aka the murder princess trio of lay them to rest ] ummmmm no excuse except i might be not 100% straight lmfaoooooooo. i just can’t resist ruthless amoral girls in flouncy ruffles & floral frocks ok next (!)

4. TREE-HUGGING SHIT / POETRY IN NATURE - [ verdínqa, dulcifera, of daisies & ddt, a bit of run devil run ] i’m an envi sci nerd & study something similar w my degree program so no surprise :D ever since high school i’ve been into subverting the light = life & darkness = death trope, just after learning about shit like eutrophication & hypoxic waters etc where growth/a surplus actually leads to death, and sort of the belief that death in nature isn’t inherently bad for the entire system (ecocentric holism & alla’ that). and also a point that’s been driven home countless times by lectures, talks, books, webinars, what have you - the earth as just a planet will be fine even w all the anthropogenic shit going on, it’s humans who will be fucked. so that makes its way into my work a ton!

5. REINCARNATED QUEEN BEES -  [ jenny, chae ] idk there’s just something so iconic about that aesthetic. zombie girls in chanel & luisa beccaria ya feel. the absolute vanity/arrogance/haughtiness of your typical hs movie rich bitch TM meets oh shit im not really alive and also eating brains is gross (i once googled human brain nutrition facts. quora saved a girl but also my search history is wack lmfao)..... yea! :kermitdab:

6. DITZY PINK SIDEKICK WHO IS ACTUALLY PRETTY BOOKSMART - [ steph, lea, lyra ] to (sort of) go with above, i like writing the bubbly girly girls who can throw front tucks and scorpions and double arabians like nobody’s business but also aren’t your stereotypical ‘dumb cheerleader’ trope; they’re just thought of as ditzy because of how nice/sweet/outgoing they are. also 3/4 times they drive crusty mom vans. yes this is me projecting my own driving experience no i will not change

7. SARCASTIC IDIOT MEME QUEENS - [ chrissy, inferna/vicky, angie ] always obsessed with memes, usually obsessed with food/sbux, kpop, or both. these girls are fun to write bc it’s like, 2 brain cells and they’re all devoted to simping for girl groups or copping free food deals (yes i make them all blackpink fans yes i am basic no i do not accept criticism) which is just #same. usually tend to be pretty scathing & hotheaded, also with a bit of a too-tired-for-this-pls-fuck-off energy ;D and that’s highkey my entire internal dialogue so like..... :kermitdab:

8. GLITTER + GORE / MURDER PRINCESSES - [ robot unicorn attack & its spinoff ‘rua: guts & glory’, proper young killing machines, lay them to rest, this new hyper-girly pokemon yugioh-esque collab w loml <333 ] traditionally “”””””””girly/feminine”””””””” aesthetics meets murder/other very dangerous activities you should not try at home! 

9. FACETIOUS REFERENCES TO RL - [ gem quest, robot unicorn attack, lay them to rest, other things im prob forgetting ] basically i’m super facetious and also a clown and i like to poke fun at stupid things in my own life hahahah. gem quest is very modern meme culture meets high fantasy fairyland (& it was a collab with fanfan! so literally just my aes meets hers ;DDDDD) in the way i wrote it (references to twilight, phineas & ferb, kpop, other memes in the fairytale setting basically); robot unicorn attack is allllll about that petty celeb drama (just with a glitzy cyberpunk backdrop & also unicorns) LMAOOO & it does have tons of similarities to the kpop industry! & lay them to rest - aka murder princess aesthetic heaven - has me pulling out shit like ‘picstagram’ and ‘versacci’ (versace + gucci lol i’m so lame). one of the murder-y girls is a social media influencer/beauty guru. yeah!!

& last but not least-

10. MORE AESTHETIC THAN PLOT - [ insert everything i’ve ever written ] look i can NEVER come up with coherent plot lines WHATSOEVER but at least my pinterest is popping & my prose is all overly detailed descriptions of dresses & flowers LOL

tagging: @bebemoon @vampirkaninchen @morningstar1399 @now-on-elissastillstands @atimefordragons @tudorgirl @lend-your-lungs-to-me @bulletgirl @unholieds @artless-whimsy @interluxetumbra @clarienanaberry << sorry i cant splel ur writeblr @n-eusex + anyone who sees this & wants to do it!!! <3 <3 <3

#my stuff #my writing #TYSM FOR THE TAG THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

Jesus @ St. John, the only apostle present at His crucifixion, to represent the entire Church established by Christ Himself, about Mary: Behold, your Mother 

Protestants: ummmmm.....Mary’s not ur mom ://// 

#i said what i said and #i will not be taking any criticisms or complaints #i will not even apologize to my protestant followers even if love you in Christ #catholic

[jeffhane]

dynasty live watching: an incoherent post so that i’m not spoiling people on the twitter tl (i doubt any of this will be chronological or coherent enough to actually contain spoilers but better safe than sorry!)

oh my god the “previously on” - i forgot abt fallon and evan....

Theyre at a FUNERAL??? this was actually predicted but oh my god. if its steven i am going to be so mad. what an unfitting end to the- WAIT WHAT SIX MONTHS? what was that font;;;;:; whes sueiwjwk

copper arch🥵🥵🥵

this is cute. this is cute i like faloon pretty women so true

BYE I FORGOT ABT THIS VASE

fallon is genuinely such a bad person this is so bizarre,,,, i think she needs to calm down about oiterally everything ever

“This wedding is our chance to break the cycle of craziness” babe ur literally the one making the cycle of craziness

w. was that an ikmenn of liam getting his head off

JEFF MY BELOVED HE LOOKS STUNNING IN THAT OUTFIT. WHYS ALEXIS HERW “POWER COUPLE” YOU WERID MANIPULATIVE PERSON GET AWAY FROM HIM LOL

alexis is up to no good. bad bad jpeg. why do they write her dialogue like this

adam is acted so well lmao he’s the most unhinged person to ever exist *screams*

ohhh dominique, i don’t remember much abt her 😭😭😭 this woman she’s with is beautiful

ITS LAGGING????? i cannot Believe tjis

~rebrand~ ok girlboss!!!!!!!!! can we ship this businesswoman i dont recall her name with fallon???? id like that i think

too many plotlines have happened in too many minutes, i’m already forgettint things that have happened... isn’t blake supposed to be in prisoj? no? Ok: sure

adam is constantly doing this expression that is like 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 HI SAM HI SAM HI SAM BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVE HIM WHOS THIS MAN

raf is so stunning ughhhh i’m loving the costumes this season, everyone looks great! is this man a sam love interest? nervous? that is kinda cute. i miss stevej though. sadness. so many emotions

UHHHH hi alexis sure ig ur here

~OMENS~ babe that’s a tad dramatic don’t you think?????????? “Ignore the lore at your own peril” alright

WHOS THAT? WHOS THAT? OH HER OK

bye everything is going wrong for this......:..:::... *rubs hands together evilly* that will certainly be entertaining

credit scene!!! such a beautiful cast! where’s anders, oh how i miss him... i miss monica too wasn’t she supposed to be BACK🤔🤔🤔🧐🧐🤨🤨

its a commercial break... havent had to watch the show with these for so long😑😑😑. getting american ads is so funny bc the vast majority of them are Not at all relevant... at all

BACK TO DYNASTY!!!!!! was that a slinky? huh? oh ok that’s why the marriage is happening at the manor. #whenyouonlyhaveoneset oh hi ok monica so shes not going to be here?????😑😔😳

WHY IS SHE GETTING A CAR I FEEL LIKE THATS FORESHAWDOIWIJG FOR UMMMMM.... NOT GOOD THINGS ..... ITS LAGGING AGAIN 🤨

blake having dinner... ok hi cristal,,,,; is the priest subplot back? that was a weird one

adam???? how on earth does adam work his way into everything? NEXT GUEST? HUH? are you cheating on your wife? HI CULHANE! HI!

“straight people are exhausting” i mean yes, objectively, absolutely, but culhane is #notstraight .... idk how i feel about sam and this man. also what? huh? staying here? ok cool ig

OHHHHH he got married i see i see

“Haven’t you milked the carrington cow already” but....... she is literally the person who deserves the stuff..... k......... i don’t like dominique but she was given the short end of the stick also blake stop manipulating people just bc they tell u the truth😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

frustrated that we haven’t seen fallon in any non-wedding related stuff yet i always liked her more ~dramatic~ plots . like she’s a sweetheart but i do want her to evolve beyond thsi. idk if that makes sense. ok bye

“A relative’s happy marriage” uh???? we live in a society😔📈

who is father lynch<3333 oh he is in the hospital that’s not great oh adam upset that’s new /s

y is kirby dressed like an elf. god bless.

ughhhh i just think adam is not good for kirby. he’s not good in general. so true . what is he up to. ads again hhhhhhhhhh💯

omg we are back!!!!! blake wear the suit!! hi liz!!! i’ve seen pictures of this outfit, it looks nice. “I really want things to work out with liam” now that would be great but you’re in a soap opera so the chances of that are .... I DONT EVEN ONOW IF U CAN WEATHER ANYTHING W CRISTAL...)))))!$$ NOT NECESSARILY THE BEET CHOICE????

~technically it wasn’t cancelled~ alright love i feel as though you’re not telling the full truth here. ok his name is ryan . we know that now . cool . this relationship is awkward but it could be sweet

what the Fuck is dominique talking about this is so creepy😭😭😭 please do not market lingerie to ur niece 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 why does no one in this show know how to be polite

“You want me to stake my personal assets” i’m sure this would be meaningful if i knew anything about finance????? WAIT WAIT WIAT WAIT WAIT DHE REHEARING THE SAM DONS G THE SONG ALEXIS DONT INTERRUPT HER SINGING THE SONG🧐😔😔😔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥰🥰🤬😤😤😤😤😤😤

~duplicitous sham~ that’s quite a juicy phrase ms fallon. alexis i dislike your marriage. and you in fact. yes x . “We were just like any other newlyweds” except the newlywed factor........:

anders. oh my god i adore him so much. he reminds me of my grandfather . YES adam is dangerous. anders i love you so much. be my grandfather figure. top 10 cool old dudes of all time.

liz is so beautiful how am i suppised to “Focus” on the “storyline” kirby just went 🥰🥰 also hi culhane ily babe

“My father’s convinced adam is pure evil” you see, that is......... trueeeee...........:.::: im sorry culhane ily love

this dialogue unfortunately does not flow all that well LOL . people dont think up things like this on the fly “my love is like that boutineer” sir i guarantee that metaphors r not going to save ur relationship... HI sam. so true. hi ily. samhane? culsam? 😳😳

DONT STEAL ANDERS SPOT OH HI JEFF YOU LOOK STUNNING.......... BEAUTIFUL BOY ....... HI!!!! ~you are the only family you’ve ever needed~ shit none of this wouldve happened if the Carringtons werent so greedy ij the first place

~true love has many faces~ how many anti liam omens can they sneak in into the episode 😭😭😭😭 hi laura whats up

the poor waiters at this establishment...... why does laura look like a rlly young version of my grandma........: huh.... wont think abt it /... alexis bad mom.jpeg

“I don’t want to miss my sons special day” ok bye i don’t #care she’s kind of rude

fallon trying to avoid future drama is confusing to me as that used to be her ENTIRE THING? HUH??? everyones talking to their moms today what the heck do that many people talk to their moms???

jeff hiiiii <333 that maroon suit!!!!! love!!!!!

Dont hurt anders you strange little evil man!!!!!!!!!!! (Adam, for reference)

fallon likes to ~e n u n c i a t e~ her dialogue. Drama Teachers Love Her

FIRBY SCENE! WELL THEY R TALKINF! UWU ! UWU ! smiles:) smiiiiiles:) the height difference i cannot do this😑😊😊😊🕯🕯🕯 BYE

BueirHWIIDWJDIWIFJWIFJWJJFWJFJWJDJWJDJWIFJWJFJWJDKWJDJWDJJWHDWHDHWHEHWHDHWJDJWJRJWJEJWJDJQUEUWJEJWJEJW CRIES SOBS SCREAMS THIS OS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Kirby you dumbass😭😭😭😭😭 ALEXIS WUDIWNDJW JEFF CAN YOU NOT HEF FCANKREMTIWN WHY IS THIS DIALOGUE IM SCREAMIGNRJFJD

kirby babe you are the kist imorjri WHQT? HUH? when all the characters have the maturity of a 13 yr old <33333 DID THE SHOW JUST END?????? OK.... DAMN.... they were really 2 minutes away from the end and remembered that things are supposed to happen in tv show episodes.... i cannot tell whether it os over actually?????? huh??? going to keep watching because it would be so embarrassing if i missed a few minutes oh yeah theres more

IM SORRY WHYBARE THESE PEOPLE SO STUPID. every single one of them. ih my god l. ohhhh my god . “I never meant to hurt you” you cheated on him. both of them are bad people. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 kirby darling what were you thinking . this dress on kirby is STUNNING ugh, she’s so charming . adam Shut the fuck up. He hasn’t said anything but shut the fuck up. OH MY GOD ADAM SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH MY GOD I HATE ADAM SO MUXH. OH MY GOD HOW IS HE THE WORST PERSON TO EVER LIVE 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 HES SO EVIL

“I didn’t want to tell you because i didnt want you to think of me as a monster” why did you do that stuff then bro . Kirby you SHOULDNT trust someone after they say that? How naive? Huh ?

omg hello jeffs grandma!!!!! she deserves better than every shitshow in this family... god🤨 dominique being a good person? i like to see that. she seems so genuine. ok this is nice . wait... SAFE? 😳😳😳😳 💴 💵 #money i miss monica

why do they never have sufficient lifhting in WAIT..... HER?????? #dumbofass HI JEFF <33333333 HI you can scam and whatever ur allowed to i support u

ooohhhh GORGEOUS fallon outfit

“Such a fail” IS THIS 2012 . CRINE HEIDJWJFIWNDWJDNWKFJW ENJDJSDJWJNDJWJD they keep saying folklore and im thinking its some sort of reference to the album and i get confused. wheres scheming fallon. need scheming fallon. do a scheme. do it

“We are that lucky couple” press x to doubt .... wait who is this🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 this seems cincerning im cocnentwd why did it zoom in on this random man

#how many ads are there you ask? #too many #i never watch things live #this is .... a lot #american cell service is so cheap #cruella de vil ad😭 #how does the cw app work #more ads ig #i dont have the attention span to remember what happened before the ads