#unbelievable!! when people act like crazy people in my general vicinity but it’s with an obvious cause I don’t give a shit!!

[astonmartinii]

bite the hand | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem musician!reader [face claim: clairo + clairo, boygenius and taylor swift music]

having fans are great, but sometimes it goes to far and you have to bite the hands that feed you

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 913,551 others

tagged: beabadoobee

yourusername: howdy ladies, gentlemen and all that's in between, it's single release day. i had so much fun on this track with bea and getting to pour all of my love for maxy onto such a cute melody... hope you all enjoy my loves x

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user1: YES THANK YOU MOM THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TODAY

landonorris: how many letters in devoured?

yourusername: ATE 💅

landonorris: ate and left NO crumbs

maxverstappen1: why oh why did i ever introduce you two

yourusername: because you love us both?

maxverstappen1: i sure love you, jury is out on lando

landonorris: boooooooooo

user2: ugh if y/n had to date an f1 driver why couldn't she go for one of the hot ones like lando or charles?

user3: for real like bro he just drags her down

user4: you can't be serious? he's a professional athlete at the top of his sport and by what they show us a massive softy who loves y/n? why would we want anything else for her?

liked by yourusername

user5: y/n will NOT stand for any max bashing idk why you guys try it every time

maxverstappen1: so unbelievably talented and the artist of her generation

yourusername: maybe it's because i have a top notch muse ?

maxverstappen1: NO NO IT'S ALL YOU YOU ARE THE ARTIST I AM JUST LUCKY TO BE IN YOUR VICINITY

yourusername: i am the lucky one baby

danielricciardo: leave your cute shit offline i already have to hear it all of the time let me be on instagram

yourusername: nope love my boyfriend too much

maxverstappen1: nope love my girlfriend too much

user6: they're so insufferable i love them

user7: this song bangs so much more when you pretend it's not about ... him

user8: bro is acting like max verstappen ran over his puppy

user7: sorry i don't want a GREAT artist and BEAUTIFUL woman being dragged down by THAT

user9: you are insane, you do not know y/n, you enjoy her music, that doesn't give you the right to have power over things in her personal life

user10: you people are why this fanbase has a bad name and before long y/n will get fed up too

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 829,043 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: the off weekend spent right

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user13: i need a man so obsessed with me that all he does is post my face

user14: crazy that all this guy does is wax lyrical about how much he loves her and she's like never at his races ... interesting

user15: and her weirdly entitled fanbase say he doesn't deserve her when she clearly doesn't support him as much as he supports her

yourusername: i love you and our soft little weekends, i wanna do it all the time :(

maxverstappen1: gosh our day jobs are really quite unconventional i guess we should just retire to a remote island to live on a small farm?

yourusername: you said it not me i just wanna be anywhere with you

maxverstappen1: i love you <3

user16: RETIRE TO A REMOTE ISLAND? SOMEONE TELL THIS RAT THAT IF HE IS THE REASON WE DON'T GET MUSIC WE WILL RIDE AT DAWN

user17: babe have you ever thought that maybe the reason he said that he wants to retire away from everyone because you people stick your noses in all the time

danielricciardo: @yourusername a soft weekend you say? how many hours did max spend on the sim?

yourusername: a solid ten but he even let me have a go

danielricciardo: oh wow that man really is in love

maxverstappen1: i think she'd rival a couple of you with some practice, i'm working on getting her to join redline

user18: ugh this is so annoying... preaching like you like spending time with your girlfriend and then spend it all playing a video game and letting her have one go?

user19: the sim is something f1 drivers use to train? if anything max probably shouldn't have let y/n have a go she could've accidentally changed the set up or other things

user20: i'm seeing charles and lewis training this off weekend and he just lies in bed with this girl? he really needs to ditch her to stay at the top

user21: literally two comments up is them talking about him training on the sim the jealousy is insane from both fans at this point

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 893,442 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy to take home another win in mexico, i love this track and am forever thankful to this team and my loved ones.

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user25: holy shit idk what f1 can do but the paddock looked insane today there's no way that is safe for the drivers and personnel.

user26: there's so many videos of people rushing max and although some of them look like max fans who are just excited but there were a lot of very rude rival fans trying to get too close for comfort

yourusername: forever proud of you !! you're like jimmy and sassy with zoomies on crack <3

maxverstappen1: that is the highest of the high compliment thank you my love

yourusername: champagne is on me girlypops no expense spared for the love of my life

redbullracing: do we all qualify as girlypops ???

yourusername: of course !! don't think i didn't notice the supply of vegan pizza rolls you truly are the lactose intolerant allies of the grid

user27: can she stop spending all her hard earned money on this scrub that just uses her

user28: bro makes millions in a year he doesn't NEED her but that doesn't mean he can't want her? you guys are crazy

user29: some of these fans need to do some serious evaluation, drivers are not zoo animals, they are people and deserve respect and that includes respect to their personal space.

user30: for real like why was brad basically having to act as a body guard for max and y/n

user31: this was such a dangerous event for max and y/n. they're both very famous individuals and should be able to move around the paddock without being in danger.

user32: max joked about getting a body guard for this weekend but i think he should seriously consider it especially is y/n is coming to more races while she's not touring

danielricciardo: it has been brought to my attention that y/n has stated that she will spare no expense, i am making a formal enquiry into whether this will cover my bar tab?

yourusername: i will within reason but only because your bffs with maxy and will drink the fruity lil cocktails with me

danielricciardo: REAL men drink cocktails

maxverstappen1: do NOT disrespect the humble gin and tonic on my post

user33: i'm glad they're in high spirits after the shenanigans in the paddock today and the booing towards max :(

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, maxverstappen1 and 1,442,776 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: there is no full way to articulate my feelings right now. my fans have to respect my personal relationships and my boundaries. i appreciate your support but you have to understand that i am not your personal friend and you do not have the right to my personal life. i also understand that in sport, there are a lot of heightened emotions, but drivers do not owe you their safety. this is something i have felt for a long time since max and i became a public couple and the onslaught of hate came for him. you may say that it comes from a good place, or for my best interests, but the manner in which some 'fans' have expressed their 'worries' is unacceptable. i do not want to bite the hand that feeds me, but there's only so many slaps me and my loved ones can take from the hand.

bite the hand is out on all streaming platforms. please listen closely a re-evaluate your relationships with your favourite artists, thank you.

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maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,220,664 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i love you and i will never let other people tell me when i'm not enough get in my head again. we both appreciate our support and acknowledge that we would be nowhere without it. but our relationships are ours, please respect this.

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yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,344,229 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: okay sad songs are important but it's now time for me to sing my wee little heart out about how much i love you and how i know we were always made for each other.

i love you maxy, invisible string is all about my muse. out now.

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user41: IT BANGS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user42: ffs i guess we're stuck with this man for life now ...

user43: LISTEN TO BITE THE HAND AND BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AND HEAR THE PINBALLS OF YOUR BRAIN GOING CRAZU

user44: speak your truth sis

maxverstappen1: ISN'T IT JUST SO PRETTY TO THINK THAT ALL ALONG THERE WAS SOME INVISIBLE STRING TYING YOU TO ME

maxverstappen1: so true, you make me believe in soulmates YOU ARE MY SOULMATE I LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you to the moon and to saturn for real

yourusername: and that thread of gold is made from all of your trophies LET'S GO RAHHHHHHHH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

maxverstappen1: the gold of that grammy @thegrammys yall heard bags?

user45: the way they're each others wags and completely embrace it

user46: i love that they're still their goofy asses they don't give a shit abou t yall

user47: y/n dropped a heart wrenching track and immediately went ... but hey i'm SUPER happy and that's all you're going to hear

landonorris: so like can y/n remix the dutch anthem so we can actually bop every weekend

yourusername: i kinda wanna marry the king of the netherlands so maybe not

landonorris: you broke up ?????

yourusername: no you dumbass max is the king of the netherlands

maxverstappen1: not factually but i do have a medal from the royal family so same thing

landonorris: why do you guys have to clown on me every time

yourusername: you're like our baby brother it's our duty

maxverstappen1: sorry not sorry

user48: you could never make me hate them they're made for each other

user49: finally bite the hand shamed the crazy bitches into finally shutting the fuck up

note: i love bite the hand i actually fear it might be my fave boygenius song and i recommend it to everyone. i actually did my university dissertation on parasocial relationships with athletes so like i feel like a good couple of sports fans could do with a listen to bite the hand. hope yall enjoyed and had a good weekend !! (chelsea gave me a heart attack but what's new, even though i was too sick to go to the game:()

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 #f1 x you #f1 social media au #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen

[timeisacephalopod]

I went to get groceries (bad idea on a Sunday when busses are always trash) and on my way back a bunch of bees decided me, my plant, and also my fucking bagels were in Desperate need of pollination and I was like hello, even the plant isn’t a flower get lost you pesky confused fucks!! And this guy waiting with me at the light while I Did Battle with the bees decided he was going to cross the street, which I initially didn’t think anything of, whatever, I was more concerned with the bees.

Then he ends up crossing back over the street in the way he went to avoid me (presumably because I was acting like a crazy person not that I was disrupting his day any) only to have to pass by me waiting at the bus stop. Boy did he look awkward and on account of that was rude as all hell for no fucking reason when at no point did I bug him or his personal bubble. So I glared daggers at him the whole time he passed watching his awkward ass face as he went because yeah buddy, that was ignorant and I damn well know what you did, and you damn well know why I was acting the way I was on account of at no point did I act like a nut once I was away from the cornucopia of bees that decided I was a fucking flower (not to mention my ‘there’s nothing here to pollinate’ was probably a good indicator even if he didn’t see the damn bees themselves 🙄🙄). Anyway, I hope everyone avoids him like the plague even when he’s not doing anything but being annoyed with insects all over his shit.

#winters ramblings #I mean I wondered when he first fucked off but was like dude not everything is about you #and then he CROSSED BACK and I was like oh are you FUCKING kidding me?? #because I don’t like bees and had an actual reason to be annoyed in my own space in my own time?? REALLY?? #fuck you random guy I REALLY hope I made you damn uncomfortable lowkey confronting you with your rude as fuck choices #when I glared at you the whole time you went by me looking awkward as hell #YEAH buddy we both know what just happened and I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t make sure I know you’re a dick about it #unbelievable!! when people act like crazy people in my general vicinity but it’s with an obvious cause I don’t give a shit!! #and even if there IS no obvious cause the mentally ill aren’t likely to victimize you anyway 🙄🙄

[bbangjaes]

LMAO THIS WAS SO FUNNY TO DO THANK U FOR THIS (srsly i laughed out loud writing this i prob looked crazy)

-mik

SIDE NOTE: Respecting that the legal drinking age in Korea being 19 years of age, I have left out 2/3 of the maknae line due to their being underage (Hwiyoung and Chani).

SF9 SCENARIO: Them Being Drunk

Youngbin:

Believe it or not, even our v serious n responsible leader needs to let off a little steam sometimes (tbh i’m not even sure that he drinks but let’s just act like they all do for this scenario ok). In general, I see him being that one guy at the party that ends up passing out on the couch that’s in some other room away from everyone else and he ends up missing everything (when i used to be a party girl myself, there was always one guy that was that guy and, trust me, youngbin would def be that guy).

(i couldn’t find a sleepy bin bin gif so enjoy puppy bin bin instead)

Inseong:

Drunk Inseong would be a nightmare and I pray for anyone who would have to deal with him while he is intoxicated. He would def be the “I love you” drunk. In my experience, this drunk is the one person stumbling around the party and meeting with all of their friends to hug them a little too tightly and to tell them that they love them repeatedly. Inseong would be slurring his words and would prob try to give the other members kisses in spite of their protests (ha, gay).

(why do they actually look like drunk fools here i can’t)

Jaeyoon:

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that, hands-down, Lee Jaeyoon would be a giggly drunk. He would be giggling non-stop and would find everything unbelievably hilarious. He’d prob do some crazy bad drunk guy dancing and make everyone die of laughter as he tried to do sf9 choreography with a bit too much liquor in his system (ah yes this would def be a sight to see).

Dawon:

Sanghyuk is insane when he’s sober so I imagine that it would prob be wisest to just gtfo if this guy ever gets his hands on alcohol. I see Dawon being what I like to call the “what the actual fuck” drunk. The “what the actual fuck” drunk is all drunk classifications in one. Basically, Dawon would be laughing like a maniac, trying to make out with everyone, starting brawls with random people, and also crying over absolutely nothing (so like how he is usually? lol i swear i adore him). These drunks are extremely entertaining to watch and Dawon would certainly be no exception.

Zuho:

Zuho is a bit of a shy lil bean at times so I feel like alcohol would help his inner savage come out (tbt to when chani said he was the most awkward member over rowoon lmfao). He’d probably roast the living fuck out of everyone and would have everyone in the vicinity dying of laughter. I’m not sure why but I also see him starting random play fights with the other members for no apparent reason and losing lmao.

(u mess with the bull, U GET THE HORNS)

Rowoon:

This mother would def object to drinking at first but, once he got started, you would not be able to cut him off. He would be a combination of the clingy drunk Inseong and the giggly mess drunk Jaeyoon. Also, he would be stumbling over everyone and nobody would be able to hold his giant ass up. Nobody would get hurt, but the furniture might.

(meme-woon anyone?)

Taeyang:

Taeyang would be the “I’m not drunk” drunk. This drunk is the guy that feels the need to tell everyone that he isn’t drunk even though he clearly is. He would probably gather a crowd around him as he attempted to walk in a straight line to prove his sobriety to them. Needless to say, the line that he walked would not be straight (smh this kid).

#sf9 #sf9 reactions #sf9 scenarios #sf9 gif #sf9 icons #sf9 imagines