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goldenamaranthe-blog · 18 days

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Happy Easter: Dysfuctional Family

Charlie: (blowing a kazoo through the hotel while wearing white bunny ears and tail, carrying an Easter basket, and throwing bright colored and decorated eggs everywhere)

HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!!!

Hazbins: (groan collectively)

Vaggie: (slightly distracted by the tail) Hun, love the enthusiasm, but do you even know the purpose of Easter Sunday is?

Charlie: (cracks open a Cadbury egg and siphons out the innards with her tongue) Isn't it just an excuse to binge on chocolate and snuggle fluffy little bunnies and ducklings?

Angel: (clutches his pearls in ex-Catholic Italian horror) Mama Mia!

Lucifer: *Squeeeeee!* I'll be right back!

Vaggie: I guess that's a more corporate way to put it.

Angel: That's IT!!! I'm making my Mama's Italian Easter Bread! Charlie, you need to be schooled on Easter!

Alastor: Hmmm... I suppose if we're doing a full celebration, I can do a little something to liven things up. (Snaps his fingers, and everyone's clothes are transformed into various colored Bunny footie pajamas)

Charlie: (wearing hot pink bunny jammies and twirls) Oooooh! These are so cuuuute!

Vaggie: (in pastel lavender pajamas and snarling) Cabron!

Angel: (sneaky smirk as he wears a pastel pink and white two-piece pajama suit) Oh, Smiiiiiiles?

Alastor: (simply wearing red bunny ears) No.

Angel: C'mon! Hear me out! (Whispers in Alastor's ear)

Alastor: Hmmmmm.... I'll allow it! (Snaps his fingers again)

Vaggie: (baggy bunny jammies suddenly transform into a black and velvet purple, Las Vegas Showgirl bunny suit with white tail and ears, fishnets, and heels with purple wrist cuffs)

Angel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOOKING GOOD, VAGS!!!!

Vaggie: (growls and tries to cover herself) FUCKING-A, ANGEL!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL HIM?!?!?!

Angel: Does it matter? I don't have a soul to sell. (Sees Charlie) Ha! Might wanna focus on your girlfriend, Toots.

Vaggie: What? (Looks at Charlie)

Charlie: (blushing, heart eyes, panting like a puppy, and her pajamas turned into a similar Showgirl suit but red with fox ears and tail)

Vaggie: Ch-Charlie? Charlie! No. No! Charlotte Morningstar, we are in front of guests! Shit! (Runs down the hallway)

Charlie: (hearts explode around her head) Hippity-Hoppity, that ass is my property! (Gives chase)

...........

Vaggie: (rounds back around the corner while carrying Charlie bridal style) Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Lucifer: (rides in on a tidal wave of fluff infused rubber duckies while wearing yellow ducky footie pajamas with orange webbed feet) RELEASE THE QUACKEN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Alastor: (sighs in aroace exhaustion as a random rubber duck bounces off his head)

Angel: (slowly calming down as he wipes a tear from his eye) It's just like home~

#happy easter #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel incorrect quotes #dysfunctional family #big brother angel #moderator middle child vaggie #youngest sibling charlie #uncle alastor #bunny suit #vaggie #angel #charlie #lucifer #alastor #release the quacken #thirsty charlie #semi feral charlie #bunny suit vaggie #fox suit charlie

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months

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how to explain your relationship's gay dumpster origin story to the child you ended up with as a result GO

Hypothetical chaggie child: “Mom, how did you meet mommy?”

Charlie: *remembers flirtatiously fixing her hair after bandaging a strange woman’s gouged out eye socket as said women sat in an alleyway half dead and smiling up at her*

Charlie: “….Uhhhhh…your mommy was kinda…”

Vaggie: “Mom found me in the trash and took me home, baby.”

Charlie: “You weren’t really IN the trash! Just, trash dumpster adjacent?”

HCC: “Oh.”

HCC: “So I have a wife too, then.”

Charlie: “You have a what.”

HCC: “I found Miss Whisker Sins getting into the trash again yesterday… um, doesn’t that mean I’m married to a rat? Like you and mommy?”

Charlie: “OH THE RAT OH FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT- HOLY SH- Oof!”

Vaggie: “No baby you’re not married to the rat. You can marry anyone you want, or no one. Whatever makes you happy, ‘kay?”

Charlie: “Yes! That.”

HCC: “Okay.”

HCC: “…”

HCC: “What if I wanna marry the rat.”

Vaggie: “I’ll get the dress-up box.”

Charlie: “I’ll round up the uncles and aunts!!!”

HCC: "That might be bad."

Charlie: "Why would it ever be bad? They all love spending time with you!"

HCC: "But uncle Husky's part cat." (sadly) "If he's mean to my new rat wife, I'll have to kill him."

Vaggie: "I'll help."

Charlie: "Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Him. I'll help him not be mean to the r- to your new beautiful rat wife."

HCC: “And mom has to promise not to cry. It’s embarrassing.”

Charlie: “I won’t I won’t~!”

HCC: “Promise?”

Charlie: “Aww angel wings, I PROMISE I won’t cry. Be right back!”

HCC: “…Mommy, make sure she doesn’t cry TOO loudly, okay?”

Vaggie: “No promises, sweetheart.”

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #husk hazbin hotel #oc kid stand in #incorrect quotes #had a vision of “uncle” husk suffering through getting called “husky”#even though HaLF of his entire being is /hissing/#at being nick-named after a DOG #....just had another vision of the hypothetical chaggie child taking after granddad on the shape shifting #and turning into a DUCKLING whenever lucifer's around #this hypothetical child is very versatile #im impressed

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chronicbeans · 2 months

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Me: Mom, I'm alright. My fictional pookies are completely normal-

Mom: Look at them.

Them:

Me: But mother, they're babygirl.

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coffeecatcraze · 3 months

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I've seen more than a few comments about how strange, ironic, unbefitting, etc it is for Lucifer to seem so full of shame when he's the Sin of Pride, but why? Isn't that entirely appropriate? I mean, I guess maybe some people are just too young to remember, which makes me sad, but to quote the immortal wisdom of Uncle Iroh:

"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source."

So wouldn't the Sin of Pride be more susceptible to feelings of shame than anyone?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #uncle iroh's wisdom

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svadilfari-coded · 5 months

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I've said it before and I'll say it again: Gabriel should have lived and become Jack's favorite uncle

#let me tell you i see a universe where jack literally becomes gabriels favorite person in the whole world #and jack finds everything he was hoping to find in lucifer in gabriel #sam dean and cas are all dad #gabriel is uncle #technically all the other angels are aunts and uncles but they suck so he wins by default #supernatural #gabriel spn #jack kline

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secret-tester · 17 days

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That's right!!! Another drawing!! This one is about my favorite characters...

I hope you guys love it :D <3 <3 <3

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onesidedradiostatic · 2 months

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I saw some people being confused during dad beat dad (should’ve been titled dad head dead, btw) because “Alastor hasn’t done much with Charlie, yet he’s a father figure now?” Which like, yeah, that confusion makes sense with hazbin’s pacing problem, but like —

— that’s the POINT. Alastor is LYING to get UNDER LUCIFER’S SKIN!!! He’s not THAT close with Charlie AT ALL but he’s PRETENDING like he SO OFTEN DOES!!! (At least that’s how I read it.) I’m not saying he doesn’t care for Charlie, just that the way he sings it is greatly exaggerated. And Charlie is more comfortable with him instead of Luci, not because of some off-screen development, but because she’s just been around him more lately!!! Her relationship with Lucifer is STRAINED!!! guh

yeah I thought that was pretty clear to me LSMDGMHOSO it seemed like he was doing everything he could to piss lucifer off and his expressions and head turn towards lucifer when calling charlie his daughter was clearly to get a reaction out of him

#ask #osrs.txt #he does actually kinda give off the dad energy in episode 7 though #although it's kinda more like supportive aunt and uncle with rosie and him #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #charlie morningstar

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sugaroto · 3 months

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Look what I made😃

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #for the non greeks #this a kids greek song #the lyrics say:#Karakatsanis went in the pan and broke the eggs #why Karakatsani did you go in the pan and broke the eggs? Eat now a slap from me #the video clip shows a child dressed as an uncle dancing inside the pan in the eggs #i haven't stopped thinking about it since i saw Alastor in the pan #zouzounia

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vroomian · 2 months

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actually maybe the reason Charlie makes the connection from 'yrz' to 'my uncle blue (what she called yrz as a child)' was because yrz, as the only actual responsible person Lucifer knows, was often roped into babysitting while the royal couple were busy or fighting.

i'm picturing yrz in full library demon get up and sitting at a cramped table with three-year-old charlie, having a very serious tea party. it's also important to me you know that yrz can change his height and his library demon form is the tallest. so he's folded in half, knees up to his chest, holding a plastic cup that's thimble-sized compared to him.

the fact that children love yrz hasn't changed, nor has his habit of treating them like small, unfinished people who should be Taught and Listened To Seriously. most of his patience actually goes towards children no matter how little he likes them lol.

also: yrz singning baby Charlie to sleep, of when she gets upset. maybe even the start of baby Charlie's lifelong love of music, coupled with lillith's canon beautiful voice? I'm picturing specifically Little Saphire's lullaby by Ginny Di (change saphire to ruby maybe?), if i were a fish by corook, riverboat shanty by emily axford. just cute sweet little songs.

and then later yrz is hanging out at the hotel and it's late enough that everyone else is asleep, but charlie wanders out (post-meeting adam) because she's worried about heaven. yrz makes her a hot chocolate, and they sit in quiet, and charlies like. why does this feel so familiar? yrz, who is reading a book, starts humming saphires's lullaby unconsciously. then it clicks and charlies like: "uncle blue????? Why are you short now?"

and yrz is like whoops, cats out of the bag lol. also rude. so charlie and lucifer are the only ones who know that yrz is also the library demon.

#me just now: wait. emily axford. d20 emily axford????#turns out yes. that emily axford!#bizzare!#anyway i love sticking yrz with small impressionable children and watching him sweat lol #it'd be funny if the babysiting was what lucifer demanded as a favor.#charlie knew uncle blue but not the library demon or yrz #hazbin au #bfiasc aus

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beelzebuddy-catan · 1 year

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I firmly believe that Satan and MC would be a dual income no kids couple. They'd be an amazing aunt and uncle to their nieces, nephews, and niblings. The famous couple that everyone knows and the kids idolize. They travel around the three realms (well two in Satan's case) and work as ambassadors to strengthen relationships. They spoil their niblings with gifts and stories from the three realms.

But that got me thinking about Satan as an uncle, and how amazing he'd be.

Yes, he's still the avatar of wrath and strikes fear in demons hearts.

Yes, one look at him and kids are usually terrified.

Yes, he has a habit of saying too many swear words.

But he absolutely adores his niblings. He'd destroy the three realms for them. And he loves them the way the brothers need to be loved.

Lucifer's daughter - he shows her she's not alone. That she never has to shoulder any burden by herself.

He was prepared to hate Lucifer's daughter. Any offspring of Lucifer's had to be awful. No MC, that is not an invitation to discuss his internalized problems.

Then he met her and she giggled at him. This small creature giggled at him. Beings of all ages, from all places, shrunk in fear of him. But this baby giggled at him. The only other beings who hadn't immediately cowered from him were cats and MC. Just like that, she thawed a part of his heart.

Her first words were definitely some variation of "tan-tan" and the vein in Lucifer's forehead almost popped.

She spends as much time with Satan as she can. To the point she starts acting like Satan. She got in trouble at school after yelling "well bless you" at the teacher. Obviously she learned it from Satan.

Lucifer's so proud of her. Why wouldn't he be? She's so much like Satan and he's proud of Satan. Not that he'd be able to tell him. That pride gets in the way and makes it hard for him to tell his daughter how proud he is. How much he loves her. How he's sorry when they fight.

But Satan is there. He reminds her of those things. He's not defending Lucifer, don't be stupid, he's just telling her all the things he needed to hear from Lucifer growing up.When she's older and runs away from home at some point after a fight, she ends up at Satan's door. Because when she had no where left to go, she always has him.

Because she always has a place in Satan's heart. He'll swear and yell, but it never scares her and he can never really say no to her.

Mammon's three kids - he shows them they're worth it. That they aren't a nuisance. They're someone he loves and wants in his life.

Mammon's kids gave him a headache. They were loud, troublemakers, always scheming, and he couldn't help give in to them.

They love shiny, exotic, rare things, so Satan brings them gifts from his travels. They're spoiled by him. But when he sees the way their eyes light up at some trinket from the human world, he's reminded how he's more than wrath, that he feels more than that. He's such a softie.

Mammon's taught them a lot actually (mostly related to money schemes). But he never taught the why. So Satan teaches them.

He taught them how to read someone's body language. He does love detective work. He definitely taught them Mammon’s tell. He taught them how to play their opponent not the game. He teaches them the math and physics behind billiards. Now they can hustle people like their dad, but back it up with intelligence.

Mammon has terrible money management. So Satan teaches them that too. He gets them bank accounts Mammon doesn’t know about and shows them how to balance check books. He teaches them the value of money, not just how to scam it from people, but to earn it. To be proud they earned it.

He may or may not but definitely did set up savings accounts for them for when the get older. Just in case.

And when shit hits the fan and they get them selves in too deep, their uncle Satan is there to save them.

Levi's son and daughter - he shows them they aren't trivial. That they are loved not in spite of their interests and quirks, but because of them.

Satan thought they'd be shut in's, like their dad. He thought it'd be hard to get to know them. But it wasn’t and they trust him.

They write him letters and video call him when he's travelling. He always writes back and he always saves the letters. He has a locked box where all of the letter's, drawings, writings, etc. they've given him are kept.

He has them sign every thing they create. They're practically glowing from happiness. He even has some of their art framed in the house next to his fancy expensive pieces. Occasionally, someone will ask about it and the kids overhear. And though Satan can’t see them, he knows they're there. He answers honestly, "I like beautiful things, why wouldn't I hang that up?". Maybe he says it a little bit louder than necessary, but it is true.

He learns about all their favorite things. New tv show? watched. New book or comic? Read. New music? Heard. He keeps notes of all their interests so he can make recommendations. They're always the best.

There are times when Levi is too anxious or scared to go to events. When their mom has to work or isn't able to go. Satan drops everything to be there. He knows how important it is to them. He knows Levi would go if he could, but it can be too much for him.

He dresses up with them. He doesn't care what it is. They want to be the villain? Fuck it, everyone welcome princess Satan.

He also takes them on adventures to new places. They love travelling with Satan because not only does he know so much, he lets them explore and be themselves.

He supports their interests without shaming them. He also encourages them to be okay with it. If they're shy, Satan tries to break them out of their shell. He doesn't push them or make them uncomfortable.

He's seen what that fear has done to Levi, he won't let it happen to them.

Asmo's sons - he shows them their worth isn't their looks. That they're complex beings who's beauty isn't only surface level.

He was prepared for the two to be mini Asmos. And they were, in some ways. They cared about appearances. They're charming little fuckers, getting out of trouble easily. You know when kids imitate someone flirting and grown adults/elderly women eat it up? That's them. Except it doesn't work on Satan. He grew up around Asmo, nice try.

Instead he teaches them how to win people over without looks. Like he did. So he says He teaches them to make connections. To be wise. To use their beauty as a power up or add on, not the main tool or skill.

Asmo is their father and you know their mother is equally okay a little less, but don't tell anyone as stunning. So they can be insecure. Satan reminds them of their worth.

And maybe true beauty comes from within sounds like bullshit. But he ingrains that shit in them from birth. Anyone can be pretty. Anyone can look good. The things that are imperfect, that have flaws, that have blemishes are the things people adore. Without those things, everyone would look the same.

He lets them know he sees and loves who they are, and that makes them feel beautiful. So they don't care much if other people don't agree.

Except they still do have bullies. Satan will show up if he hears anything about them being bullied. He's the avatar of wrath and he scares the living shit out of the bullies. "Say one more word and I'll make it so you never say another one." Poor kid didn't speak for a month.

Asmo had to pick up one of the kids after being bullied for wearing a dress. Satan's already booking a ticket to get home and buying a dress online. He'll fuck that kid's shit up. MC calm him down, for the love of everything holy and unholy, he might actually destroy the devildom this time.

Sometimes their parents are busy with shoots or other gigs and Satan watches them.

He hosts tea parties with them. They take that shit seriously. Barbatos is invited, but no one else. Okay sometimes MC, but that's it. And Luke if he brings snacks. But that's seriously it.

He lets them be kids. Asmo often has them acting prim and proper because that gives them the best image. They have select clothes they can wear. They have certain styles of hair they can have. But Satan let's them wear ugly clothes. The fluffy boas and cheap tiaras. He lets them run around without shoes and doesn't care if they spill things in their clothes.

They’re kids, he lets them be that way. He encourages it because sometimes Asmo forgets that not all kids love being dressed to the 9s and done up all the time. They feel supported and loved to be themselves. Not a picture of who they should be.

Beel's daughters - he shows them that they're more than a single moment or action or mistake. He shows that they can learn and grow. He teaches them how to forgive themselves when it's easier to blame themselves.

Satan didn’t connect immediately with Beel's daughters.

They had everything they needed: a dad that was there no matter what. Someone who wasn't afraid to tell them he was proud or that he loved them. Someone that made them feel valued and worthy. Someone that could protect them. And as they got older they could definitely protect themselves.

They had everything Satan wanted and needed growing up. What did they need him for?

Then he saw one of them talking to Beel after a game. She was devastated. She'd missed the goal and the team lost. And she kept blaming herself.

Beel didn't know how to comfort her. After all Beel never really learned to deal with his own guilt. He still blamed himself for a lot of things. So Satan takes her out for ice cream after and starts assistant coaching her team. He knows the game and the best strategies, why wouldn't he?

More importantly, he starts teaching his daughters that their mistakes, losses, the whole lot, they aren't them.

He knows better than anyone what it feels like to internalize something, to hate the very core of who you were or what you thought was who you were. Because sometimes one bad thing about you can feel like the only thing about you.

He knows what it's like to fight against of that feeling. He's there to remind them how to grow from that, to become better, to let it drive them, not ruin them.

Sure he yells sometimes, and swears, and gets too invested in the game, but they think it's funny. The whole team does. He makes them better because he makes them believe they can become better. Gradually the internal voice that defends these young demons against their own negative self talk sounds a lot like the the avatar of wrath.

Even when they get older and he stops coaching, he goes to every single game. He argues with the refs (and has definitely gotten in fights) but everyone is too afraid to ban him. He also brings snacks to every game. Both for the girls (and Beel of course)

Belphie's son - he shows him that the ones we love never truly leave us. That when he feels alone and scared, there's always someone watching out for him. That sometimes the monsters in the closet are our skeletons. And sometimes the skeletons in the closet are just bad dreams we can't quite shake.

The first time this kid fell asleep on Satan arm he let out an exasperated sigh and a mumbled "are you fucking kidding me?"

He complained but he doesn't actually mind. It's nice knowing there are beings out there that don't fear him. Plus the kid acts just like a cat. And Satan will sit reading for hours without moving so he's the perfect person to sleep against. Win win.

He gets really bad nightmares. Nightmares where he can't bring himself to go back to sleep. But once Belphie's asleep is so hard to wake him up and his mom works nights. So he's spent a few nights crying in his bed, too afraid to go to sleep and too afraid of what lurks in the shadows.

Satan was staying there once when he woke up to sniffling. He's never really been a deep sleeper, if he sleeps and if he's not next to MC. It took a bit of prying but eventually he opened up.

Satan had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when the kid asked him to check the closet and under the bed. But Satan did. When that's not enough for him to go back to sleep, Satan tries telling him stories that are mostly true.

"You know when your dad and uncles first came here, they were afraid of me. Do you think there could be anything in that closet that scares me?" "I used to have to check the closets for your uncle Mammon, don't tell him though. It’ll be our secret"

You know those friendship lights where you can tap the light and it changes the color of the other person's? Yeah Satan got those. Like I said, he's a light sleeper, so even if he isn't up, the change of light wakes him up. Satan always calls his nephew when he sees it change. He reads him bed time stories until he falls asleep. He started taking voice lessons so he could make it more fun.

And eventually Belphie’s son stops fearing the monster's in the closet. He stops having so many nightmares.

But he always has the light plugged in. He always knows that Satan is there for him. Even if he can't see him or talk to them, Satan's with him in spirit.

Because the people we love and the ones that love us always stay with us in the ways we need.

Anyways, I'm soft for Satan, avatar of wrath, feared demon through the devildom, being a supportive and loving uncle. Here's some photos that are Uncle Satan energy:

#sorry for the long post #but I love him #satan obey me #he'd make the best uncle #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me satan #obey me headcanons #my headcanons #obey me mc

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terry-perry · 2 months

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Loki: I’m truly honored that we’ve built such a bond!

Daisy: Aww!

Loki: You’re like the child that I wish that I had.

Steve: Uh, what?

Loki: I care for you just like a daughter I spawned.

Steve: Hold on now!

Loki: It’s a little funny, you can almost call me Dad!

POV: Loki has been mentoring Daisy and uses this to tease Steve every now and then

Also yes I just binged all of Hazbin Hotel and it may or may not be my current obsession 😅

#incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #source: hazbin hotel #dad!steve rogers #uncle!loki #child oc #daisy rogers #marvel cinematic universe #marvel #mcu #mcu au #imagine #mcu fanfiction #hazbin hotel #alastor #lucifer

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radarchives · 1 year

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#obey me #lucifer #luke #lucifer really tries to be the worst demonus uncle he could be #he really constantly says i condone bullying this specific child #queuecifer

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journey-to-the-attic · 5 months

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zhao and ik finally come back and lucifer js loses all sense of formality and literally runs and hugs them SO tightly. they r all sleeping in one bed tonight u can’t stop him. they will have scheduled family activities sometime 😤 lucifer is basically like a dejected bird on the floor when they’re gone u have to understand. he’s a dad to a little child. ik will always be his little child. he’s insane.

(nightbringer lucifer saw the ring of light and he takes like an entire hour just to work again bc HE GOT MARRIED???? but damn nb luci is gonna be real sad when ik and zhao leave)

he would deflate into an exhausted sort of puddle for at least one week, if not longer, and the image it has conjured up is so vivid that i need to draw him being pathetic and sad now hang on

satan can't even make fun of him for it because he just feels bad for his incredibly stressed big brother. meanwhile lucifer calls in every single sick day he's ignored over the years in a row and WILL be in the same room as his husband and/or child at any given moment

i feel like zhao would've tried to hide the whole thing with the ring of light, but lucifer KNOWS that that's the wedding ring finger, and he most certainly knows the ring of light when he sees it. it'd be funny if he assumes at first that it's michael who apparently proposed to a human, since as far as he knows that's where the ring was

also ouuu... exchanging one sad miserable lucifer for another one. there's no coming out of this nightbringer situation with all parties happy... awfully cruel for nb lucifer to put zhao and ik in his life, knowing he'd never want to let go, but forcing him to do so anyway

#art #obey me #answering asks #anon asks #obey me lucifer #jtta ik #jtta zhaoxi #ohh the tragedy of nb lucifer's side of the story is getting to me a little bit now #it's a little everything everywhere all at once and also sort of reverse-miguel's-situation-in-spiderverse... you know??#'i would've loved to do laundry and taxes with you' and another you gets to have that. but you don't #because they were never yours and this wasn't your family to begin with #he is wearing your ring but you were not the one who gave it to him and ultimately you are something he is going to 'escape' from #and the other you is something he is going to return to #dad in the devildom #zhaolu #i feel like zhao himself would have a massive dilemma over getting close to this past version of lucifer #it's still lucifer but it's not HIS lucifer so he'll always feel at least a little like he's betraying him #meanwhile ik has no idea what's going on. this is not dad??? but he looks exactly like him???#those aren't uncles? okay so when does she get to see her proper uncles then?

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