So uhhhh here's some of my Muppet Sexuality Headcanons!
Kermit the Frog - Unlabeled, Cis Male (He/Him)
Fozzie Bear - Pansexual, Cis Male (He/Him)
Miss Piggy - Straight Ally, Cis Female (She/Her)
Gonzo - Pansexual, Non-Binary (Any Pronouns)
Scooter - Pansexual, Demi-Boy (He/They)
Rizzo the Rat - Questioning, Cis Male (He/Him)
Pepe the King Prawn - Bisexual, Genderfluid (He/She/They)
Rowlf the Dog - Bisexual, Cis Male (He/Him)
Uncle Deadly - Bisexual (Male Lean), Cis Male (He/They)
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew - Gay, Cis Male (He/Him)
Beaker - Pansexual, Demi-Boy (He/They)
Swedish Chef - I Don't fucking know (He/Him)
Sam the Eagle - Bisexual (But is in denial), Cis Male (He/Him)
Animal - Questioning (He/They/It)
Dr. Teeth - Pansexual, Genderfluid, Polyamorus (Any Pronouns)
Floyd Pepper - Bisexual, Demi-Boy probably? (He/Him)
Janice - Pansexual, Transgender (She/Her)
Zoot - Bisexual, Demi-Boy (They/He)
Lips - Pansexual, Non-Binary (They/He)
Statler and Waldorf - Both of them are Cis and Straight. (Probably Homophobic /j)
And uhh that's all.
Sorry if I missed anyone!
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Muppet Headcanons
I have so many random, silly Muppet headcanons I need to get out of my system, sooo here we go, bare with me
~Kermit still keeps in touch with the Sesame Street gang ever since he left them. He usually calls Elmo, Grover, or Ernie the most to check up on them and say hi!
~Apart from fish being his favorite animal, Lew Zealand is a big animal lover in general! He has an especially soft spot for all aquatic wildlife, including animals such as turtles and seabirds.
~I don't care what y'all say, Bobo and Uncle Deadly had something with each other in The Muppets (2011).
~Miss Piggy really does have a soft heart, her temper just makes it hard to show. Actually, this better be canon.
~Robin and Rowlf's nephew (from the Jimmy Dean Show) are good friends and love having play dates.
~Big Mean Carl is really emotional, he's just really good at hiding it.
~Fozzie has accidentally set things on fire more than once. Most times have been in the kitchen, he's not exactly the best cook. But it's happened so much somehow, it pretty much seems like he's prone to it.
~Sweetums gets along well with a lot of the tinier Muppets ironically. He's surprisingly really gentle when he needs to be, and is always careful with his smaller friends. Him and Yolanda are besties!
~Walter has more than once weirded out the others by just how much he knows about each of them. (Well that's what happens when your a super fan guys)
~Gonzo has a whole wardrobe that's just dresses.
~This is pretty much canon, but it's agreed Zoot has magical abilities. The guy has probably traveled to other dimensions and not even realized it.
~Also pretty much canon, but Rowlf has a much sassier side to him than he usually let's on. Most people just haven't seen it that often... except for Jimmy Dean. Jimmy Dean saw it plenty of times lol.
~Fozzie is like the resident tickle monster lol. Usually if someone doesn't laugh at his joke, he'll just be a little twerp and tickle them to make them laugh. He'll also just do it to be silly (Kermit has been a victim to his silliness the most lol).
~Kermit knows every first and middle name of all of his siblings. (which keep in mind he canonically has like over a thousand siblings)
~Beauregard knows a lot of cool random facts actually that he'll just randomly throw out there sometimes.
~Another one about Beau, him and Beaker are good friends. (They canonically usually set up stage props together on The Muppet Show)
~Scooter has so many father figures. Kermit, Dr. Teeth, Fozzie, and Rowlf are all his dads lol... and Janice is his one mom figure.
~Pepe and Rizzo have been together at some point.
~Nigel, more well-known as the band conductor from The Muppet Show, and Kermit are actually good old friends. (He was actually meant to be the host for The Muppet Show before the role was switched to Kermit)
~Lips and Dolores (trumpet girl) are really good friends despite him taking up her role as trumpet player. She'll still sometimes pick up her old trumpet and the two will play together for fun.
~I don't know why this isn't canon but. Walter. Autism. Real.
~Skeeter likes to visit the Muppet theatre every so often to visit Scooter. In the few times she's been there, she's developed pretty good relationships with all the others as well.
~Bunsen and Beaker have pretty much been together since they were literally babies (go watch Muppet Babies for proof)
~This isn't really a headcanon but something I've noticed about Miss Piggy. She seems to have a softer spot for a few of the others, and I don't just mean Kermit.
I've noticed that she genuinely baby talks Rowlf a lot, and calls him Rowlfy. She's never actually tried to karate chop him like she has others either. There's been like once she tried to swing at him, from The Muppet Show, and ended up hitting the piano instead. Personally to me, it seemed like she didn't really try with her hit like she has all other times; it was more like she was annoyingly swatting at him because he was aggravating her (which he was btw, he was teasing her). I just think her and Rowlf are good old pals, and I just think that she knows that he's genuinely sweet and doesn't wanna be mean to someone like that.
Same with Beauregard, she's been really nice to him too. She's even given him a motivational speech before from The Muppet Show (in that same episode, he hugged her and said she was his only friend and I sobbed so mentally hard over that). I think Miss Piggy just knows who generally good folks are and in turn shows her soft side to them.
Okay I've poured out all I can, for now! Here's some silly doodles of some of the headcanons!
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2. (You know it’s real love when he picks you up from LAX) And 3. Pic via Taylor Bagleys insta
Scooter,
im reminded that alex turner loves dogs and he dedicated TBHC to his and Taylor’s frenchie that passed away in 2018
Scooter, Nicknames Scoot or Tootus
I think you can also see him in the TLSP2 YouTube video on their channel
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the poem i never wanted to write - scott parkinson - day 30
it puts me in that chill wind again
amid stone and grass and dying light,
little suspecting the wall of refutation
my arguments would run against,
rules of a game always set by you,
sex as something negotiated
on terms amenable only to yourself,
contempt that weighs so heavy
in the corners of your eyes,
disdain that’s always been
within the gutters of your smile,
even in the moments of our greatest bliss.
it’s not a poem for dwelling on the ways i wish
i’d taken better care of you so let me say
i wish you’d taken better care of me.
i wish you’d known this much at least,
because you were always very good
at knowing things i didn’t,
i wish you’d known i don't believe
there’s anyone can love me
if i’m not extraordinary.
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You're right and you should say it, Muppets 2015 wildly underrated
For real I have so many stupid season-wide outline ideas in my notebooks… I think a lot of the charm of the 2015 one is that it is overt about and embraces the time period lol so I would want a follow up season to do the same….
They play with it in Muppets Now, but I would be curious about Late Night with Miss Piggy having to deal with Covid (like Conan, Kimmel, Fallon… all the late night shows) working without an audience?? (where are Statler and Waldorf?? It’s so quiet without them…) Pivoting to a podcast?
Would be curious about the post-2015 finale Kermit and Miss Piggy happenings… but I could see them quarantining together and re-falling in love… and then emerging more terrifying and powerful than the crew has ever seen… I don’t think Piggy should have access to TikTok I think Kermit would go to great lengths to keep it from happening
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