#understand horribly well and it continues with his need to leave a legacy and his feeling that he's running out of time it's that slow

[moronkombat]

Yandere Bi Han with his very pregnant wife runs away from him seeing how he turned to and stay with her brothers in laws as she wants to protect the baby

How would each brothers perspective when reader did that?

this is some good food. tw: yandere, pregnancy, afab pronouns

General headcanons

Bi-Han met her just once but it was enough for him to be consumed by her memory

He doesn't understand why he thinks of her so much and that bothers him. He hates that she is all he thinks about. He can't stand it

She must be his. It is the only way for him to stop thinking of her all the time. Yes, if she were right here in front of him, he wouldn't long so desperately for her

Bi-Han gradually builds up a relationship her and it seems to go fairly well between them and he finally begins to feel at ease knowing she is by his side

The love between them is sweet but Bi-Han a slow acting poison and his corruption grows and grows until there is nothing left of him any longer

He craves to have a son with her, to continue his legacy and so he tries to conceive with her frequently but he is never cruel during it

It soon becomes an obsession of his to have his wife deliver him a son worthy of the Lin Kuei name and finally it seems his efforts pay off but his mind continues to warp and break

He becomes suffocating, all consuming when it comes to his wife and unborn child. Bi-Han never lets her leave or go anywhere

Bi-Han tells her she doesn't need to be anywhere else expect home and in bed as their child grows inside her

Things only worsen when he is brought away by Liu Kang and given that taste of freedom. It destroys him and the world begins to crash down

He tells her how the Lin Kuei will be better and stronger. That they should rule and lead the world instead of serving it. She is horrified, terrified. Where is the soft and gentle man she married?

All but gone that man is...replaced by someone savagely obsessed with power and greatness. She is helpless to change it, to change him back to the man she loved

Bi-Han tells her that his brothers are traitors, better off dead but not to worry because he will never let her leave. She will be with him forever and ever

She cries at night, thinking about all the horror Bi-Han has started to act upon. These suits of armor, weapons of horrible destruction...this isn't right

This isn't the peaceful life he promised her and their child. This is a hellish war and Bi-Han tell her how their son will be his legacy. How he will use his son as a tool for domination

She can't stand it. She begs for Bi-Han to stop this and to come back to her as the man she fell in love with. This impossible and Bi-Han lashes out

He strikes her, hard and firm. As she crashes to the floor with blood dripping down her lip, he scolds her for being so weak and for trying to betray him

Bi-Han tells her that she will learn to accept this life because if she doesn't then she will never see her child once they are born and that is when she can no longer stay with him

She flees, running far away from her crazed husband and how horribly she cries as she does this. Her hands cradle her now heavy stomach, Bi-Han's son is due soon but she must never let him know his father

What is she to do? She is alone and heavily pregnant with the heir to the Lin Kuei. Her heart hangs heavy and she can only think of two people

The two people she had come to know as family but was told were traitors. They were her hope. Not just for her but for her son. If they refused her, she could live with that but they must take in her son once he is born. Bi-Han must never find him

To say he is shocked would be a grave understatement. Kuai Liang thought he would never see her again. Not since what happened between him and Bi-Han

He knew of your pregnancy and was happy for you and Bi-Han. The last he knew, the two of you were happy together

Because of this Kuai Liang is suspicious and even a bit threatening when he sees her at the Shirai Ryu villa

He would draw is weapon and warn you that he will not give you mercy if you are here on Bi-Han's behalf

Kuai Liang watches as through labored breaths you cry and sob, falling to your knees unable to get out what you want to say

His resolve begins to weaken as he watches her fall apart and he is reminded of the fond memories between the two of them

She was his friend before she become a sister-in-law and Kuai Liang still cherishes that friendship but is unsure of how to act

Tomas convinces him to lower his weapons and hear you out and when he does, he is at a loss of words and full of despair

To hear what his brother has become, how he has treated her is enough to break his heart all over again and he knows he cannot refuse sheltering her

Kuai Liang treats her with kindness from that point on. He tells her that she may stay as long as needs and that her baby will be safe here

Though he knows Bi-Han will not sit idly and allow this. He knows this will bring great danger to his home and family but she is his family too and so he will house and protect her

Tomas had always been fond of his brother's wife and cared for her deeply

Truth be told, he was always a bit envious that Bi-Han was her husband but she seemed so happy that he kept quiet

Imagine his shock when he finds her kneeling on the ground and sobbing like he's never heard before

His eyes are instantly drawn to her stomach that she holds so tenderly and he rushes to her side

Tomas would kneel down next to her, unsure of what to do with his hands. He settles for lightly holding onto her shoulders before looking up to Kuai Liang

He tells him to put down that weapon and listen to her. Tomas asks him if he doesn't see how scared and frightened she is and finally Kuai Liang hears her out

When he hears all that has happened, Tomas is enraged. He has never felt such a wrath before and when she finishes her story, he takes her into a tight hug and tell her everything will be alright

For him it was never a question whether she could stay or not. The Shirai Ryu would be her new home and Tomas would protect both her and her unborn son

He doesn't care that it is Bi-Han's child she carries. The child is innocent and is clearly loved so dearly by its mother

Tomas is no fool. He knows Bi-Han will come looking for her and will raise every hell possible in order to obtain his wife but it doesn't matter to him. He will take care of her and her unborn child

It hurts to hear her try and be hopeful that Bi-Han will stop this madness and return back to how he used to be. Tomas knows that will never happen but he doesn't have the heart to tell her that. So he is left to letting her dream of such an unrealistic wish

There is no greater rage in all the realms than what Bi-Han burns with. How dare she leave. How dare she run away with his son

She belongs to him and so does their child. How could she leave him? How could she abandon him just like everybody else?

It can't be true. It just can't. His wife, his dearest love and mother to his child couldn't leave him. Something must have poisoned her mind

Surely that is it. There some twisted thoughts planted in her head that leads her away from him

Bi-Han thinks to himself that when he finds her will have to put her in a pretty little cage just like a songbird

Yes, if he kept her hidden away, only exposed to him then she would never think of leaving again. He must bring her back home and lock her away in a place known only to him

There is a seething wrath knowing his son has been taken from him. That was his prodigy, his grand design to lead the Lin Kuei. How dare his son be withheld from him

Great deal of punishment will be delt to the mother of son in order to teach her the importance of having a father and son know each other

There will be even more suffering brought upon those who keep his family away from him. How dare they keep that what is his from him

Bi-Han knows where his wife has fled to. How could he not? He is in the clutches of his wretched brothers

He vows to kill them, to snuff out the life from their souls while she watches and hears them scream

He will tear them apart as a bear does to a doe. He will leave nothing left of them expect mangled gore and echoing screams

Only then will he bring his lovely wife and son home. He will never let them leave again. If he must break her pretty legs so that she may not run then so be it

Bi-Han will teach her that a wife's place is that next to her husband. That is something that will never change. That is where she belongs and he will keep her there until she accepts her role as his wife and mother to his children

War will be waged in order to bring his wife back. Nothing and no one will stop him

#mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat fanworks #mortal kombat headcanons #mk1 #mortal kombat x reader #bi han #mk1 bi han #bi han x you #bi han x reader #mk1 kuai liang #kuai liang #kuai liang x you #kuai liang x reader #tomas vrbada #mk smoke #smoke x reader #tomas x you #tomas x reader #tw: pregnancy #tw: yandere

[lightcreators]

@somnium-delicata continue from here (formely Legacy posts)

Special?  Zero could only wonder what the Earl had meant by that, but at least Zero would meet that Trancy fellow soon.

“That’s good. Honestly Zero thought of just taking a night in the nearest inn”, they confessed.  They were coming up short in coins, so they had to be frugal, or else they were thinking of their usual routine of finding a job until they earned enough money to move to the next place.

Their stomach growled.

Oh, and coming up short in food.

“So, what’s for lunch?”

By the way they looked at them, he understood. Describing Alois Trancy as ‘special’ wasn’t enough descriptive for someone who never met him --- hence remaining unprepared for the current phenomenon they would have to face! Though, as much he was complaining internally, as he had been delaying the idea for quite a while, he was the most and first informed about how his usual craziness and rudeness had been getting better … replaced for depressive emotions in which he had found himself the confidant in middle of circumstances. It was beyond his strength to be able to trust Alois! Regardless if an associated irony exposed how he showed a large portion of confidence inside his former rival, he was actually unable to believe all the reflective illusions he realizing he had been doing all the time. Alois never had been honest with his loneliness. Alois never had been honest with degree of his suffering. Alois never had been honest with anything who ever hurt him … He should have been here, remaining at his side when he decided to closing himself of the noblesse sphere temporary, nevertheless, moments passed inside that second manor during the aftermath until he wasn’t all day crying had been his compassionate move, his emotional understanding … One of his lies had been concluded inside circumstances. He needed that time away for reassuring himself it would remain trapped inside the box of what happened that none of this would leave that protected and sealed sphere --- and more than anything, he couldn’t let Alois know. He could let Alois realizing something about him, that might creating a horrible and tragic common point he didn’t even want the reminder of --- remembrance of his metaphoric twin, of the real Alois Trancy treating him disdainfully stayed an silenced burden … ❝ Extravagant. ❞ He eventually finished adding for answering that look. ❝ Noblesse norms are something he have no desire to learn, and he have a particular opinion of nobles. ❞ Frustrated sentence exposed within a sigh. Alois was a noble who loathed nobles --- who enjoyed privileges of the position without doing one single responsibility of his seat --- Mentally, it was permanently the reproach he had, regardless if he had been far more considerate than his predecessor. Sensing a pout born inside his expression, he pushed aside the thought.

❝ You can stay. We have free rooms in here. ❞ He will have a good reason to tormenting Sebastian for their well-being meanwhile he was preparing himself psychologically to Alois. How convince that boy to let him go once he will show up for taking news and ask for help for an third party will be a very good question he would need to ponder … Otherwise, Alois will saw an opportunity to inviting himself and recreate former old days suddenly cut off! ❝ I’m not that inconsiderable … ❞ It was an half-lie, since before what happened, it wouldn’t have bother inviting them to stay inside his household for preserving his tranquillity. He didn’t do enough inside circumstances; hence, eaten silently by guilt, he wanted to do better …  Usual behaviour of his unkindness and selfishness will show up eventually, for be frustrated over how things turned, nevertheless, he learned not to blame his poor invitees … He had still to show himself considerate in front of the future Vessalius duke as apologies … As he was listening the sound of their stomach, an smirk of amusement flattered his features. ❝ Sebastian knows. It’s always the surprise of my talented butler. Do you want something particular? I’m sure he’ll be delightful to have further preparations and chores. ❞

#somniumdelicata #ic :: ciel phantomhive #( ♚) post interconnected subplot #black butler spoilers /

[wizardnuke]

And when my cries to god were met with indifference I picked up a pen. I wrote my OWN deliverance

YEAHAHGGHHSHHHSHH

#that's what gets me. that's the line that fucking. KILLS me in more way than one bc like that's. god idk how to explain it he just did every #single thing on his own in the beginning he wrote his way out he rose up on his own. but that strength turned into pride and he begins to #victimize himself. he's right. god met his prayers with indifference. he had to figure out how to get out himself. that's something I #understand horribly well and it continues with his need to leave a legacy and his feeling that he's running out of time it's that slow #motion car crash (I've used that comparison before but it's the best I can think of) of 'I need to do more I need to make a name for myself #I need to be enough I need to prove that I'm enough and I'm valuable & I'm someone that can't be replaced I am inimitable I am an original' #that turns into arrogance and corruption and desperation into greed but it's so twisted up in his head that he can't tell the difference. #hamilton is not a good man. I hate the fandom so much bc he's not a good man and I don't want him to be seen as such especially when people #don't recognize that he didn't get it together until after it's quiet uptown and even then he wasn't good he's still a damn politician. #imo it's the line 'I start to shake when I realize that we're in the same spot my son died is that why' that he fucking gets it through his #head that he's been so wrong this entire time but anyway. that desperation served him well but it stayed when he'd made a name for himself #and it turned into corruption. and in hurricane. he's 100% victimizing himself. 'I'll write my way out' my fucking guy you fucked your way #in. this is your fault. there's no coming back from this. so it's a mixture of genuine 'the only person I've relied on is myself and it #hurts but I did it I got out and I'm proud' and 'I won't acknowledge that I've fucked up bc how can I do wrong when all I want to do is #serve this country' which he hasn't done in a while by that point. I get that. it's awful but I understand the fear and the anger that that #comes from and that's why I'm still so attached to that dumb fucking musical bc I've never seen or heard anything that so accurately brings #across the desperation that he has. that I have. every day you fight like you're running out of time. and when my prayers to god were met #with indifference I picked up a pen I wrote my own deliverance' he's wrong. but in his mind he's right and it makes sense that he thinks #that and god. slow motion car crash. nothing good can come from it the second act is about corruption and greed and arrogance and everyone #woobifies the man. you can't do that and also fucking don't do it to the historical people my god #I hate it sm when people woobify characters they do it to tony too. and peter lol like stop #they're arrogant angry fucks that want to help people so desperately that they'll tear themselves apart in order to do it #tony is arrogant. he gets better he begins to catch himself and his ptsd didn't help but he's arrogant. every damn mcu character is dknfkdnf #peter isn't. Arrogant per say. but he's steve's type of stubborn and that's dangerous. all of these people are dangerous and not always #morally correct and. why woobify these characters when you can explore how they actually interact with the world with each other #isn't human error fucking incredible. focus on it. show people's shortfalls show their mistakes and their unforgivable actions and show how #they react to it. show if they realize. tony realizes. steve has the potential to. hamilton certainly fuckin didn't for a long time #stevetony fascinates me bc of how similar and incredibly different they are. they have an understanding. #that's what tony giving him the shield was. the handshake. even in a1 on the helicarrier they saw themselves in each other's eyes #the writers preferred drama to them using their similarities and differences as a strength and it sucks bc that's what's interesting

[aminiatureworld]

Burden

Characters: Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,261

Warnings: None

Premise: Xiao fell in love with your goodness, with your selflessness and generosity towards others. Perhaps, however, in doing so he had misunderstood your own complexities.

In which the reader feels they are a burden.

Author’s Note: I feel like I should note that there are going to be some relatively extreme emotions, mostly negative. I don’t feel like it’s enough or specific enough to be given a warning, but if anyone wants to tell me to tag it for something I will gladly. That being said I’m pretty proud of this one

Xiao

Ever since your first interaction you had been helping Xiao. It had seemed so natural, even then, even when nothing seemed natural about interacting with a human, those strange people from who Xiao must always be separated. Yet there you were, asking if this perfect stranger was alright. And there Xiao was, suddenly seeing his world opening up before him.

Perhaps it was for this reason that your relationship had developed in the way it had. To Xiao your selflessness, your never ending kindness, the fact that you would stop to help someone regardless of circumstance, all of that was normal. It was innate in your personality, and perhaps that was why Xiao never questioned what effect having that kind of personality might have on you. It is easy to assume that a kind and selfless person is also one with a short memory. After all, how could they stand it otherwise?

So when the first, barely noticeable, traces of that burden which Xiao saw so often began to swirl around you the yaksha’s initial reaction was that of utter panic. Was this not the exact reason that Xiao had chosen to disconnect himself from humanity? Was this not proof, right before him, that the chains he carried could not be contained. Though Xiao generally thought of humans as vaguely useless, deserving of protection because Rex Lapis proclaimed it be so, the idea of harming any one of them with the legacy of his own sins, it was something that he could never stomach, no matter how many times he feigned apathy. That you should be the person upon who his burdens should be transferred, how could he bear it?

Of course a small, more logical, part of him urged the adeptus to stop and think. The miasma that Xiao attracted in such high concentration was everywhere, and humans were not exempt from this burden by themselves. After all, did humanity not channel great evil as well as good? Did not the most ordinary human, dejected by their lot in life, become swarmed by little wisps of evil? Yet those were other, ordinary humans. Ordinary humans couldn’t understand the sheer capability to love that you seemed to possess. No, if Xiao could sense such a miasma around you then it was surely his fault.

Still the idea of leaving you was something quite painful to Xiao, to the adeptus who had so recently learned what it meant to love someone wholeheartedly. He told himself that it was best to leave immediately, best to disappear with the wind and never look back. Yet a part of him couldn’t seem to bear the idea; and that was the part that won out as Xiao approached you later in the day, as if in a desperate last attempt to prove himself wrong.

“Are you alright?”

“Xiao!” You jumped slightly, having evidently been lost in thought. Smiling widely you shook your head. “Of course I’m alright! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I…” Xiao paused for a moment as the idea of telling you what was going on flitted through his head. Almost immediately the thought was squashed. After all, would the knowledge not worry you more? “I was just asking.”

“Well thank you Xiao, it’s very kind of you to think of me.”

“It’s my duty.”

“Still,” your smile never faltered. “You deserve thanks for what you do nonetheless.”

Xiao tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach, tried to block out the emotions that crashed over him like great waves as you leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. Was this not a good thing? After all, if Xiao was what cause this miasma to float around you, then was that not your salvation? Xiao knew how easy it was to drown in the burdens that one must shoulder. He knew how easy it was for humans to sink to the bottom of their despair and never once more emerge for water. Why should it not be a blessing that you would never have to fight to keep your head up, to keep yourself from a life full of burdens? Why, why did it hurt so much?

During the night, Xiao would leave during the night. After all, you deserved one last evening of happiness, if the yaksha could even believe that he brought you happiness. Or maybe it was for his sake that he refused to leave before the world was plunged into darkness. Maybe it was simply that Xiao could no longer imagine a world without you, and that such nightmares came out easier at night. Lying on top of the roof, eyes closed, ears focused on the familiar tread of your feet, Xiao willed himself not to think. He could regret when he was far away from you, when you were once more safe. For now he could only follow that ritual which had so long kept him sane, kept him from joining his brethren. For now he thought only of the contract he had once made.

The sound of your feet on the ground below came all too soon, as the sun finally began its descent across the heavens in earnest. Keeping his eyes closed, as if to stall the darkness for a little longer, Xiao took a deep breath in. He needed to steel himself for this evening; if not, well, Xiao had no wish to cry for the first time in a millennia.

Only once these thoughts finished flitting around in his head did the yaksha finally recognize the change in your footfall. Usually you were very light on your feet, dashing this way and that, stopping to ask Goldet or Yanxiao some mundane question, inquiring after the old lady who had basically set up permanent residence on the bottom floor of the Inn. This time, however, you seemed to drag, as if you were indeed carrying something very heavy. Alarm flashing through him, Xiao willed himself into perfect stillness. He wished to hear more, wished to understand what had caused such a change in you.

What he certainly hadn’t expected was the labored breathing of someone seconds away from tears.

The moment Xiao heard the door to your room close the sobbing began in earnest. Though you certainly seemed to be trying your hardest to hide your tears the sound of your muffled sobs rang through Xiao like a siren, flaring up every bit of alarm he had to offer. Jumping off of the roof Xiao catapulted his way through the hallways of the Inn, not bothering to hide his presence to the few, very confused, residents that were out. Reaching your room he didn’t allow himself a moment’s hesitation before grabbing the knob and opening the door.

Your head snapped up, eyes a mixture of dark emotions as you stared at him. For a moment you seemed ready to flee, to run and hide somewhere, or perhaps to throw him out. However almost immediately you seemed to sink back into yourself, and though Xiao could still sense your distress, at least the initial shock of his arrival seemed to have passed as quickly as it would otherwise.

“Xiao! I, I didn’t expect you. I, could, could you leave? I don’t, I don’t want, I don’t want to be seen right now.” It was all you could get out before another round of sobs wracked through your body.

Trying to remember what you had done for so many people, for himself, Xiao grabbed the pitcher that sat at one of the tables in the room. Pouring some water into a glass he crept towards you as softly as possible, hoping that he could convey his worries in these odd, brusque actions. He knew that he didn’t have the talent you had to comfort people, knew that all his gestures of kindness inevitably came out cramped and awkward. Nevertheless he shoved the glass into your hands, staring just past you as you tentatively downed the water. Taking the glass from you Xiao then reached out one of his palms to you. His relief when you placed your own palm on top of his was indescribable.

“I guess you probably would like an explanation,” you rasped out.

Xiao said nothing, waiting for you to act on your own. If he knew anything the yaksha knew that attempting to force the truth out of anyone would never worked. Hadn’t his own years as a pariah taught him that.

“It’s just,” you finally continued, taking in deep, labored breaths. “It’s just so hard. It’s so hard Xiao, I can’t stand it anymore!”

“Stand it?”

“Stand the… the hurt!”

Your eyes filled with tears, and you went to grab the handkerchief that you left on your nightstand. You always needed one with you, as your eyes stung terribly whenever you began to cry. Xiao said nothing as you sobbed once more, only moving to draw small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.

“It hurts so much, to see other people. To hear their problems. Not that it’s their fault, or that I don’t want to help them. I do, I really do. I look at all the people suffering near me and I just want to take all their burdens and give it to myself, after all they don’t deserve all their sufferings. But it’s so hard Xiao, it’s so hard to take on people’s burdens, even a little bit. And I feel so selfish when I think that, so selfish and so worthless. How can I say that? But it’s true, it’s really, really true. And when I think about that, when I think about all the other people suffering worse than me, it just makes me feel so horribly selfish. Like, like all my problems are so stupid and selfish and telling others would only hurt them, and didn’t I want to take everyone else’s burdens away? I’m so stupid. And it just, it hurts.”

Xiao sat there quietly once more, waiting as you cried. At one point you seemed to collapse in on yourself, leaning against his shoulder as if to support yourself. Only then did Xiao allow himself to move. Carding his hands through your hair he said nothing, he merely waited.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. You already have enough burdens, I know. I shouldn’t be complaining to you of all people. I, if you want you can tell me if something is wrong. I mean, you always can, I, just. I don’t know. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“My burdens are my own,” Xiao replied softly, finally letting the emotions swirling through him try to string together as words. “It has nothing to do with you. It never will. You, you should come to me when you feel burdened.”

“But then I’m only passing my problems onto you!”

“I told you, my chains are my own. They are the payment for my contract. They aren’t what you tell me or push on me. If you feel these burdens then give to me. That is my duty.”

“But Xiao, I, I don’t want to. I don’t want to be a problem.”

“How can you say something so stupid,” Xiao scoffed. Bringing his hand to your cheek he sighed softly. “You will never be a problem. You will always be dear to me. Let me help you. You help so many humans. I want to help you.”

“I, I don’t know,” you spoke, voice faltering.

Though Xiao could still feel the tension in the air, could still see the miasma which swirled around you, there was something fragile about it. It was as if Xiao could reach through the tangled threads and pull them away, if only he could find a way to do so. Stroking your cheek softly Xiao pressed his forehead to yours. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath in. After a few moments he heard you do the same.

The rest of the evening Xiao stayed vigilant by your side, listening as you finally let yourself say all the things that had been weighing down upon you. It was painful, listening to you. Xiao constantly had to fight the urge to tell you how wrong you were, how much you mattered and how far he would go to bring you all the happiness he could possible gather in his stained hands. Still he said nothing, for if you had taught him anything it was that simply listening could do infinitely more than promising to fight or trying to shoulder each burden as you lay them out in the daylight.

Eventually you grew exhausted, a combination of the crying and the talking and the reliving. As Xiao listened to your breath even out, softly shifting your head from leaning on his shoulder to resting in his lap, the yaksha thought about all that had happened.

Xiao had assumed that you were somehow above all the humans around you. Purer, gentler, kinder. He hadn’t stopped to think how that might have affected you. Now that he knew that wasn’t true, now that Xiao knew how deeply you felt, how sometimes your mind too chased after darkness or found itself struggling to keep above water, he couldn’t help but feel as if he’d missed something before. Perhaps you shouldered these burdens and perhaps you were just as human as the rest. You were still kind, kind and selfless and utterly beautiful. And Xiao still loved you in a way that continued to burn brightly through his soul.

#genshin impact #xiao x reader #xiao #alatus #genshin impact fanfiction #requested #oneshot #my writing

[lambourngb]

a skeleton of something more [2/6]

previously here. malex wip fic. a short serial leading up the premiere.

spoilers for the trailer and promo, will be instantly AU. If I’m going to the trouble of writing a malex fix-it for the season 3 opener, why not fix 2x13 too?

**** THEN **** 

After Alex closed Tripp’s journal, he met Michael’s gaze across the table at the Crashdown. 

His golden-brown eyes were heavy with pain, the reminder of how his mother’s story had ended was still fresh between them despite the span of months since the fiery end of Caulfield. What had resulted in being the fiery end of them, even though Alex hadn’t known it at the time. The look of sleeplessness in Michael’s face reminded Alex, that outside of this small piece of Nora, he had the weight of Maria still in the hospital recovering from the pathogen Flint had released. The press of the Deep Sky ring in his pocket warred with the hesitation to place one more burden on Michael, would the abacus of their fragile friendship balance out?

He flashed to that last argument in Michael’s bunker, a disaster of his own making, thinking he could believe in his father, but thankfully harm was averted at Crashcon. That recent memory was motive enough for Alex to decide. Whatever happened next, he needed Michael on the same page with him.

As Isobel moved to leave the table, explaining to Michael that she needed to check on Max, Alex held Michael’s gaze deliberately. Then he folded his fingers down, until the last three fanned out in a downward W. 

“After what happened with Maria, maybe you should come with me, Michael. You can help me shake some sense into Max,” Alex heard, tuning back into Isobel’s voice. Her eyes moved back and forth between them, a crease of suspicion wrinkling her upturned nose, as she stopped on him. “It’ll be a good distraction.”

Without looking at Isobel, Michael’s eyes remained trained on Alex’s hand. “No, thanks, I’m good here. I’ve had my fill of stubborn ass people who don’t want to listen to sensible advice from me, so I’ll catch up with you later, Isobel.” 

She made a dismissive huff but did not argue, leaving with the barest semblance of a polite goodbye to Alex, but that was typical Isobel Evans. Michael waited until his sister was on the other side of the door, before speaking quietly, his gaze finally moving up from Alex’s hands to his face. “I haven’t seen you flash that sign to me in years.” 

“Glad to know you haven’t forgotten it.”

“You, making the ‘wait for me, I want you now’ signal? Nah, that’s been burned into my brain over the years.” Michael said it with a faint trace of bitterness. “I guess news travels fast, Maria only dumped my ass this morning.”

Alex winced and looked down, swallowing the surprise and spark of hope that welled in his throat at that disclosure. It was better to concentrate on the unique talent he had of stepping on landmines around Michael, than wonder about what had happened with Maria. It looked like he was still good at causing harm without intention, judging by the stung bite in Michael’s voice. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have-”

“No, I’m sorry,” Michael cut off his apology firmly with a wave of his hand, calling a time-out. Alex waited, his teeth pressed into his lower lip as Michael rubbed his eyes with a weary half-smile. “I’m being an asshole right now, and that’s not fair to take it out on you. It’s been a shitty day already, and — anyway, … you definitely know how to get my attention, Alex.” He tilted his head, self-deprecation on his face, “for better or worse, you’ve always been good at that.” 

It had been the sign they had developed whenever their paths had crossed over the years while Alex had been on leave in Roswell, but it had started that summer after high school. After Michael’s hand had healed poorly from Jesse, the last three fingers had been left frozen in a claw, it had been a shared fuck-you to his dad to use it to form their own secret communication. A three-fingered W, turned upward meant it wasn’t a good time, and he would find Michael later; turned downward, well, that meant it was safe to approach him, and it had often ended in a hurried blowjob in his car. Perhaps he should have used more care in using it now, but Michael wasn’t the only one running on the fumes of insomnia and stress. “Sorry, I needed to talk to you, and I wanted to make sure you didn’t leave with Isobel-”

“It’s fine, really. It’s not a bad memory either, remembering that we had our little secret language.” Michael wiggled his fingers in reassurance, his left hand still wrapped with a bandanna. “I can make that signal a hell of a lot easier now, too. But anyway, what did you need?”

There was still a voice inside Alex’s head that said ‘you’, no matter how long it had been. He shoved that down deep, along with his curiosity about Maria, and concentrated on his purpose. “Your advice on something, and then if it’s not too much to ask, your help.”

“Anything.” 

Alex blinked, nonplussed by the easy acceptance. 

Michael gestured encouragingly, “seriously, anything, just tell me what’s going on because the way you’re hemming and hawing, it is freaking me out.” Suddenly, all expression washed out of Michael’s face as a horrible thought occurred to him. “Did you get deployed or something?”

“Not exactly, not how you’re thinking,” he winced at the earned glare from Michael as he continued to stall while the words still tripped and fumbled around his mouth, heedless to the mounting frustration between them both. He sighed, and regrouped. Pushing the closed journal aside, Alex dug into his pocket and laid the signet ring on the table before Michael. “Let me start at the beginning, I found this in my dad’s things.” 

“Jesse never seemed like a jewelry kind of guy to me.” Michael picked up the ring, examining it closely with a sarcastic smirk. “Other than parading around town with that wedding ring, when everyone knows your mom left him back during the Bush years, Dubya that is.”

“My father is all, was all, about appearances.” Alex placed the photo of the group on the table, sliding it over to him. “That ring marked his membership in this paramilitary group called Deep Sky. Every man in that photo worked at Caulfield, at one time or another.” He tapped his finger over the face of his father, then moved it to the right. “That’s my dad, and that is Ricky Long.”

Michael frowned, pulling the picture closer to squint at the faces. “Wyatt’s dad?”

“No, Forrest’s.”

“Nazi guy? Seriously?” He rubbed at his chin, the stubble longer than usual painting his jawline. Alex dragged his eyes away with effort as Michael considered that information. There was a reluctant understanding in his eyes, having recalled that Forrest Long wasn’t just ‘Nazi Guy’ to Alex, but someone who had expressed interest in Alex. Personal interest. “I guess that’s something you guys have in common then, dirtbag dads.” 

He didn’t look thrilled to admit that to Alex, but it was a mark of how far they had both come as friends that Michael had said it anyway regardless. It was kind of him. It was the same type of empathy Alex had extended toward Michael, when he had expressed interest in Maria. Cut open, bleeding under his skin from all the ways he had squandered his own chances, he had said something similar to Michael once upon a time. That was what love was all about. Then he had kept saying it, until he believed it most days because wanting Michael to be happy was the easier ask.

It was a gracious sentiment that was entirely wasted by Michael when it came to Forrest Long. 

“It would be, uh, something to bond over, if I hadn’t noticed that Forrest wears the same ring now.” 

Michael’s eyes sharpened. “Family heirloom or do you think he worked at Caulfield?”

“I don’t know, but he is an ex-Army vet.” Alex tapped the photo of the members gathered together, “That was part of what I’ve been looking into, identifying everyone who worked at Caulfield right until the end. As for Deep Sky, I don’t know if it’s military service, Caulfield, or a family legacy that ties every member together, I just know that Dad kept in touch with those who were involved at the prison.” 

“Makes sense, Jesse was able to get a hold of the atomizer and pathogen that Charlie developed from somewhere. For all of his strutting around at Crashcon with a uniform on, that didn’t look like it was an official use of government property.” 

“Right, it definitely wasn’t, and before you tell me to leave it alone-” Alex began, remembering Michael’s response to the investigation into 1947. He had considered Alex’s actions back then to be an act of futility, something that could only hurt by being revisited. The past being the past, unable to be altered. 

This time Michael cut him off, “No, I was wrong about that. I, um, I finally realized that just because I don’t see you connected to that place or the rest of your family, doesn’t mean you don’t. And while I wish that you didn’t, Alex, if digging into this gives you some sort of peace over it, then do it.”

Alex looked down, feeling the weight of relief that Michael understood. After his father’s body had been removed, after the questions and lies had been spun, he had spent the entire night sleepless over having been made into an effective weapon to force Michael’s compliance. Helena had known where all the weak spots were thanks to Flint, and had armed herself with a depowering agent. Once Flint was recovered, there was nothing stopping him from employing a similar tactic in the future.

“If anyone’s going to destroy me, it might as well be you.” Michael had once declared with a bold carelessness that had infuriated and terrified Alex at the time, but that was nothing compared to now having a lived experience to back it up. His mind had easily used the memory of Maria’s collapse after the faintest exposure at the Crashcon and had exchanged her with Michael, being torn apart molecule by molecule, by an invisible threat.

Give him an enemy that he could see any day, especially one that bled. 

“I’ve been fighting so long, I don’t know what peace looks like anymore.” Alex held out his hand for the ring, and Michael gently laid it in his palm, brushing his fingertips over Alex’s skin. A lifetime of controlling himself kept the reaction off his face as he rubbed his thumb over the raised emblem of Deep Sky. “But I have learned recently that when something seems too good to be true, it is.” 

Neither of them mentioned Jesse and his performance from the last few months, but Michael frowned again, “Wait a second, you think Forrest targeted you on purpose?” 

“A member of a secret paramilitary organization just happens to ask me out after I was involved in the destruction of Caulfield? You really think that’s a coincidence?” Alex raised his eyebrow skeptically at Michael, before looking out the window to watch the pedestrians on the street. 

“I think you’re the hottest guy in Roswell, so I’m not surprised he asked you out.” Michael flushed a little when Alex turned back to stare at him in surprise over the flattering comment. “Seriously, you’re a catch, but I will agree, it’s not a good look that he’s got that ring. But maybe it’s crap he wears because of his dad, and he’s got no idea he’s parading around?”

“You’re being awfully generous.”

“Isn’t that what you want? Because last time I checked, you were the one telling me that I should have faith in people, even if they give me no reason to.” Michael flattened his hands on the table, drawing Alex’s attention to the bandanna on his hand again. That damn fight kept echoing between them to Alex’s dismay, but Michael didn’t let him linger over it, “While I stand by what I said about Jesse, ‘cause he messes us both up, all I know about Forrest Long is that he is way too interested in Nazi history and he has good taste in guys.” Michael wetted his lips, nervously to tack on, “I also know that I trust you, and your instincts, so if you say there’s something not right about him, then I believe you.” 

“There’s something not right about him,” Alex repeated seriously.

“Then I believe you, so what do you need me to do?”

“He wants to get close to me for some reason, probably related to what I know about aliens, so I’m going to let him. And I need you to back me up in case something goes wrong, and maybe use that lock pick you have in your brain?” Alex waited until Michael nodded in agreement, feeling the swell of gratitude at his support. Anyone else would probably think he was being paranoid, or that this was a delayed reaction to his father trying to kill them, but Michael, for all of his previous counter-arguments, had never truly believed in the good of humanity. Maybe in a few days, Alex would feel guilty in relying on that. Maybe in a few days, his suspicions about Forrest would be eliminated.

“He’s involved in running the open mike night at the Wild Pony with Maria, so I thought maybe I could perform a song or something? He drives a Prius, and while he’s listening to me sing, you could slip out mid-song and insert this into the code reader of his car.” 

On the table was a small device that mimicked a thumb drive, small and black. It was the type of technology that Alex had used in the Air Force, tracking terrorists abroad. It had taken a fair amount of searching to purchase the equivalent stateside to have on hand. Michael picked it up curiously, turning over his hands.

“It’s designed to download the GPS history of his car,” Alex explained, before rubbing the back of his head in thought. “That’s how I uncovered what my dad was up to, first by tracking his movements. If I let Forrest take me home, I can gain access to his laptop and phone.”

Michael furrowed his brow in concern, “You’re really willing to go that far? And what if he is involved in something shady, what then?”

“My father and brother both used me to get to you, there’s really nothing I wouldn’t do to keep that from happening again and if it means playing along with this guy, letting him lead me to the members of Deep Sky? Then I will.” If anything, his words only deepened the concern on Michael’s face, but Alex had been committed for a long time. Since the red level threat. Since the short ride to the recruitment office. Maybe as far back as his guitar going missing in the music room.

“I’ve slept with guys for worse reasons.”

CONTINUED HERE

#Malex #roswell new mexico #malex fic #alex goes undercover #not forrest long friendly #getting back together #Season 3 speculation

[shoichee]

teiko manager anon back ~ my juicy part 2 will disappoint bc guess what: we're skipping two years into the future. akashi never found out what happened, and by third year the gom were the epitome of cruelty. so reader picks a fight with them after meiko game, only to collapse out of stress after. they graduate, she follows kuroko to seirin and they train to defeat gom. but why is she so insecure and easily sad when gom is mentioned? they get their answer when they catch her overworking

oh teiko anon, so so bold.... really out here stirring the pot of chaos with this part 2 huh KEK alright folks BUCKLE IN YOUR SEATBELTS IT”S TIME FOR PART 2 and part 1 is right here ! part 3 will be here ! update: part 4 is here !

Akashi x Reader

Part 2

[Teiko!manager Headcanons]

remember how I said in part 1 how Akashi would find out sooner or later? this would normally be the case, but in this exception…

you came back to school pretty quickly and restored, only to be in shock when Akashi himself confronts you about where you’ve been… like hello? YOUR CRUSH?? is? talking? to you? about your wellbeing?

here’s the thing, Akashi can easily detect lies through body language because he has an extraordinary sense of kinetic vision and critical thinking, but he’s still a human, not to mention… a middle schooler, and he’s not a true mind reader as some teammates would wholeheartedly believe

still, after some easy sleuthing he easily drew out confessions from some teammates who badmouthed you, although every single one were some type of half-truths and inconsistent testimonies that didn’t really make sense in painting a big picture

instead of incorrectly assuming things, he wanted to hear what’s been going on from your own mouth (keep in mind, this is still Oreshi, the guy who’s still cordial and wants to confirm this with you out of respect)

when he asks you some questions, he doesn’t detect any physical signs of lying from you, which only makes him believe that there wasn’t anything wrong to begin with other than you being under the weather and the other teammates saying utter nonsense either out of fear in his presence or using you as a scapegoat to cover up other delinquencies that he may have yet to discover

“(l/n)-san, I take it that you’ve been resting well? I heard from Kuroko that you were absent due to the seasonal flu.”

“Ah, y-yes! I’ve actually gotten plenty of rest and proper meals, so I’m back on my feet quicker than expected.”

“I actually also wanted to ask you something, if you don’t mind?”

“What is it?”

“Has anything odd happening to you lately? Anyone who has given you trouble or has been uncooperative with you as head manager as of late?”

at the question, you only frown in genuine confusion before you answer no; you genuinely believed that these teammates weren’t in the wrong for “speaking their mind” and if anything, you felt like you were the problem in not being capable enough in managing your own job and your health in the process (despite being knowledgeable in health yourself)

because Akashi saw that you weren’t lying, he dropped it completely out of respect and asked you that if there was anything troubling you that you could reach out to him

oh how he was so, so close to finding out the truth

this wouldn’t be brought up ever again because you and Akashi only continued to grow busier and busier with your own duties; eventually, your fears came true when the Generation of Miracles had in fact “left” you behind when their talents blossomed too fast and left unchecked

honestly, you developed a horrible habit of overworking despite Kuroko’s and Kise’s constant checks on you

what do you know? of course the coaches and faculty members would ignore your opposition against putting the GoMs in every game; after all some of them had been quite dismissive of you already

it’s kind of ironic because if Bokukashi was the one interrogating you back then, he would’ve either easily (correctly) assume based off of the teammates’ testimonies alone, or he’d be a lot more insistent in discerning the truth of the situation and nipping it right in the bud to stop the “nonsense”

but at the same time, Bokukashi has a lot more pressing priorities than a few poor-attitude teammates when he has the entire reputation of Tekio’s legacy on his shoulders; anything pertaining to you never crossed his mind ever since his domineering side emerged

you were really excited for Kuroko since he was gushing about playing against his old friend, since his friend couldn’t make it to finals the first time // needless to say, you were also Kuroko’s mental support when he felt really down at that time

after Kuroko sustained an injury in the game before Meiko, you immediately accompanied him to the infirmary

there, Kuroko requests you to go watch the game and you only reluctantly agree because you wanted to see the game just to relay back to Kuroko just in case if he couldn’t make it, and you were still a manager with a job to fulfill; you’d figure leaving Momoi to watch over was sufficient enough

when you walk out the door though… you bump into Akashi, which is the first time in a while where you two were face-to-face like this; your heart sank when you realize that you had to accept the fact that he’s changed and allowed the distance to grow between you two

but a small part of denial makes you quickly turn and flee out the hallway, but you really begin to evaluate your crush on him as you scurry away; Akashi just stares at you for a moment before he enters into the infirmary where Kuroko is

you’ve distanced yourself from other people (GoMs in particular) in basketball out of denial of the fact you were really left behind (plus, you already dread attending to their games because it’s always a cruel reminder that you’re not working hard enough to achieve results of the same level), which is why reality slapped you in the face after the aftermath of the Meiko game… when you witnessed the full extent of their cruelty on the court

you were really hurt—in fact, you looked more distraught than the Meiko teammates themselves

especially, since the fact that Kise himself, who you thought of him as someone you can trust in, partook in this as well (this is actually your first time in seeing his cruel side in action, since he’s always been very sweet and helpful to you because he respects you)

you first confronted Kise when he was alone for a bit, sounding absolutely heartbroken and on the verge of tears; you shocked him out of his cold side and he immediately becomes a mother hen and asking if you needed water or a seat to calm down before you overexert yourself

after telling him your feelings about the game and your growing distance in the friendship, he sincerely apologizes for making you feel in such an awful way and tells you to let him know next time before a game, so that he wouldn’t suggest this type of entertainment for the game again.

you were in complete disbelief… the fact that your best friend suggested this himself? You dumbly asked for his reason, and he only says that you wouldn’t understand it because no one ever gives the GoM a proper challenge

even though he didn’t intend anything bad when he said this, it just made you feel worse, but you still accepted the apology to get it over with

the other GoMs come and you immediately become angry again and tension just skyrockets; Midorima simply looks away and says nothing, and Murasakibara and Aomine do most of the talking back/arguing… and Akashi only impassively stares at you

later, when Kuroko himself confronts them while everyone was walking in the hallway, you completely lagged behind on the group, tearfully staring at the backs of the GoMs and how you felt really alienated and unmotivated to continue being a manager for a team you don’t even recognize anymore

you grew dizzy again, and you knew your body was dealing with too much at once but you willed your body to at least last the trip

at least you gave a warning when you assumed that you were away from the GoMs at Teiko before you went unconscious; Kise happens to catch you before he brings you to the school infirmary

he does stay with you the entire time, knowing the reason for your collapse was all the extreme emotional and mental toll accumulated in such a short time; he feels absolutely guilty, and when you were about to stir awake, he simply leaves a lighthearted note and a cutely shaped bread before he leaves, knowing that you’d be stressed again if you saw him (around this time is when Kuroko confronts Akashi to quit the team, which is why he was nowhere near you at the time of your collapse/rest)

you felt better that at least Kise still sees you as a close friend when you see what he left behind

you still feel awful, to say the least

it felt wrong of you to quit mid-season, since you felt that you were simply giving up and further perpetuating the fact that you weren’t doing the most that you could

but you didn’t feel like staying for the rest of the season, so you decided to overwork yourself again to get the rest of the paperwork and training plans out of the way for the remainder of the games; you even left detailed instructions to Momoi in how to relieve certain pressure points and muscles for instant relief in case someone hurts themselves

a little timeskip where you decided to tag along Kuroko in attending Seirin High, but you were more reluctant in joining basketball again because you didn’t want to re-experience the stress and burdens in Teiko

well, until you made friends with Riko, and her story in how she was skeptical about basketball at first too inspires you to give it a try again

Kuroko feels really happy that you’re at ease again for the first time, but he definitely notices how you grow gloomy when the Seirin teammates praise the GoMs

you slowly relapse into the habit of overworking to “compensate” for your lack of contributions to Seirin’s team, but this time, every member DROPKICKS you to stop working and relax sometimes (Riko and Hyuuga are the main culprits)

even though you never tell them the reason for your poor habits, the Seirin team members just SENSE and KNOW what to say to make you feel like you’re doing more than enough to support the team in their own unique ways (Mitobe giving really cute shoulder pats and thumbs-ups… Koganei giving you slaps on the back and high-fives… Riko bluntly telling you to relax and giving you encouraging winks… Hyuuga being a roundabout in his praises… Teppei openly praising you… and Kagami telling you that you were doing too much LOL)

Kuroko gives you the SOFTEST SMILES (everyone freaks out every time he does that, it’s hilarious)

however, wounds slowly reopen more once again every time Seirin goes against schools that the respective GoM plays for

after every win Seirin achieves against the GoM’s respective school, each GoM would eventually learn a little tidbits here and there about your tendency to overwork and collapse and possible speculations of why, but you never confirm anything with them

even though you easily forgive Kise after the Seirin vs. Kaijo match (seeing how he interacted with Kagami and Kuroko in the park), for the others… you weren’t so ready to confront…

… particularly with Akashi

#knb #knb x reader #knb headcanon #knb headcanons #teiko #knb teiko #akashi x reader #akashi seijuro #akashi seijuro x reader #kuroko tetsuya #kise ryota #kise ryouta #aomine daiki #midorima shintarou #midorima shintaro #murasakibara atsushi #teiko middle school

[ophezio]

yes, i think harry and luna makes more sense than harry and ginny. hear me out

ok so before any hinny shippers get me, please hear me out. a lot of points might be unjustified but only because jk rowling is a shit written and wrote a lot of horrible tropes. but anyways, let’s continue.

let me start off with harry as a character. harry has always been rather opposed to the fame he receives, and hates when people pay him attention only for the purpose of him being The Boy Who Lived. he always feels rather shut off from the world, even though he clearly has people on his side. you can tell he wishes everyone would just look past his legacy and see him for him. hermione and ron do that most of the time, but still do fall into the trap of seeing The Boy Who Lived first. a lot of people do, and it’s quite understandable as that’s the first thing you notice about harry. but anyways harry is just a boy who wants nothing but to been seen as anything but that. moving on to his personality, he’s very hotheaded and very opinionated, and never lets his opinions falter. he of course has a lot of built up anger over the way people have treated him his whole life. he struggles with people just not understanding him the way he longs for someone to. he wants to seen as an ordinary dude who has emotions just like anyone else, simple as that.

now let’s look at ginny as a character. ginny is a very nice girl who’s an enjoyable person to be around. she’s confident, outgoing, funny, and can bring a good energy to room as all eyes automatically go to her. she’s quite popular as she’s extremely pretty, automatically pushing her up the food chain of hogwarts. also, being on the quidditch team helps with the popularity. so naturally, attention follows her. she’s your stereotypical perfect-girl, which isn’t at all a bad thing as most stories need that girl. the one thing i will say that bugs me about ginny is her judgefulness, especially when it came to fleur. now of course this is just plainly jk rowling’s internal misogyny and pick-girl writing style, but it still is ginny, unfortunately. ginny feels like a person who can be quick to judge a situation for what it is rather than accessing it first. and that isn’t exactly a positive trait.

ginny and harry definitely have a lot of similarities and get along extremely well. they both love quidditch, both are hotheaded and opinionated, and overall have a lot of the same personality traits. most importantly, they share the trauma of being controlled and tormented by voldemort. this is a very big thing to share in common, and is most likely why harry can confide in ginny. but, all the similarities can create a dynamic where they butt heads a lot as you do when someone is so similar to yourself. i know personally when i meet people who are a lot like me, we tend to butt heads more often than not. i can definitely get along with those people though, and have great friendships. it’s just anything beyond that wouldn’t work in my opinion. and that’s why harry and ginny sometimes makes me scratch my head a bit. harry and ginny did work in the books because they were always written to be together. but if we think from a realistic standpoint, it wouldn’t have worked at all. similar trauma would definitely create a bond, but now in a way that could be romantically. you are welcome to disagree all you’d like, but i just simply can wrap my head around it.

moving onto luna as a character. luna is a very freeing character who does as she pleases and doesn’t let others people’s harsh opinions affect her and her hobby’s. people have always talked down on luna, and separated her based on what they see on the surface. they first see her as “loony lovegood” because it’s what their first reaction is. i can see at first seeing her as a bit odd, as she does talk about things that are out of the ordinary. but if you look beyond that, she’s so much more. she’s extremely intelligent (hence the ravenclaw), and has such an open mind that anything seems possible to her. with having such an open mind, she’s willing to see situations as they truthfully are, and would never wrongfully judge as she never enjoys when it happens to her. she listens to people, because she knows she’d appreciate if people listened to her. with this comes her calming demeanor that could especially help when someone’s in a state of panic or is just riled up. luna is a very fluid character who can very relaxing to be around.

harry and luna would more realisticly work, in my personal opinion. if they had been written to be together from the start, more people would agree with any opinions regarding harry and luna. but jk rowling being the shit writer she is, she would rather see the main character get together with the perfect girl with seemingly no flaws on the surface, rather than the girl who clearly does have flaws but is more realistic. ginny was written as jk rowling’s projection, clearly representing what she so desperately wanted to be. if she had just written characters as they should be, ginny would an even better character than she already is.

but anyways, harry and luna. harry and luna relate on many different that in the long run matter a lot more than you might realize. harry and luna have always been objectified for things they have no control over. harry for being The Boy Who Lived, and luna for being herself. they’ve both been on the receiving ends of weird stares and harsh words. hogwarts has seemingly created a lot more problems for them than anything, yet they still manage to find more redeeming qualities than anything. especially with found families. harry and luna both know what’s it like to lose a parent, and what that sort of thing does to you. no one else they know have gone through that, making it hard to connect with others on that level. they’re able to understand each other, and sympathize for each other without it being pity because they know how it feels. and i think this shows when luna comforts harry after sirius dies. she knows the feeling, and makes harry feel known and understood, something he constantly needs from people. he needs people to see him on a personal level, and see him beyond his fame, and see him as harry, a ordinary boy who has just had unfortunate things happen to him. i think luna really gets that feeling, hence why she’s able to make harry feel more comforted about sirius’s death. luna generally has a calming effect, and it works extremely well for harry, who desperately needs a person capable of doing that. luna can see straight though him, and can sense when he’s feeling down and lying about being fine. not many people tell him they can see through him, rather just believing when he says he fine and leaves it alone. luna is very straightforward, and sometimes harry does need that. yet she doesn’t pry for information. she’ll tell him she knows he’s not fine, but she’ll let it go rather that press on him for details. harry is always appreciative of people who don’t pry for details, but when someone can see past your facade yet still give you the space you need, it helps a great deal. especially someone like harry who is only ever looked at from the surface. he’s seen as an object rather than a person. but luna never does that. luna never looks at him as The Boy Who Lived, she looks at him like he’s an normal boy who she just happens to go to school with. harry can talk to luna with fear of being seen just for fame, and can obviously talk to luna without being bothered. people generally avoid luna, and realistically, harry would find comfort in that. harry enjoys when he escapes the fame, and can be normal. luna is one of few people he can be like that with. hence why i would assume harry finds more comfort in that than what’s written in the book. i always take everything in those books with a grain of salt, and this is one thing that i think otherwise on. if these books were more better written, harry would naturally find comfort in someone he can lay low with and find peace with. someone who understands him and wouldn’t turn their back on him. luna is that person. all throughout the books, luna is constantly standing behind harry, never for one second leaving him behind. in the 5th book, she reassures harry that she certainly believes harry and has no reason not to. she also helps harry tell people his truth by putting his interview with rita skeeter in the quibbler. that’s a very important thing for harry, as not many people would be willing to do that big of thing for him, especially during that period of everyone accusing him of being a liar. luna also constantly stands behind harry in the 6th and 7th books. she asks a lot of times if the DA will ever meet again, showing she’s willing to meet again if harry ever speaks the words. after almost getting caught the previous, people might not want to return to the DA so willinging as luna seems to. and in the 7th book, she stands behind him too, comforting him when dobby dies, casting those patronuses when seen harry in danger, and when she offered to cause a distraction so harry could get some privacy after the final battle.

luna is a very strong support system, and never falters her support. this is very important for someone like harry, who a lot of times gets a nagging feeling that people are going to leave him, which is understandable for the life he’s lived. luna is the definition of a ride or die. now an argument i see a lot is harry wouldn’t be good enough for luna. if we look at it canon wise, then yes, i might agree. but that’s simply because he wasn’t written to be romantically involved with luna, hence why it does seem he would be not be good enough for her. if he had been written to be interested in her, it would appear totally different. i mean canon does show us he does care for her and doesn’t think poorly of her. he clearly always appreciates her kind gestures, and he clearly enjoys her presence enough to invite her along to the slughorn christmas party. he wouldn’t have invited her if he didn’t like and care for her, simple as that. if a romance was written and developed between them, things would look a lot better than they do when we look at canon. i personally hate most canon things, so i simply ignore certain canon aspects a lot of times. most importantly being harry being an auror and settling down with ginny. the auror part being because he doesnt like attention from a lot of people, and isn’t ever really shown to be enjoying fighting dark wizards. personally if i had been hunted down by dark wizards my whole life i wouldn’t go into a profession where i’d often be fighting them, but that’s just me i guess. and settling down with ginny just for the fact that usually high school sweethearts don’t make it far out of high school, and i also don’t see ginny wanting to settle down so early in her life. like c’mon, does ginny weasley honestly seem like the type to settle down at the age of 22 or 23? not really. ginny wouldn’t willing give up a professional quidditch career for some kids, let’s be real here. in a most realistic setting, i see harry laying low for a while, living a peaceful life where he doesn’t have to have people constantly prodding him because of his fame. and luna obviously would never settle down early either. they’re similar in that retrospect, and had they been together, would probably live in a cottage where they don’t have many neighbors. i also see them traveling and just enjoying the peacefulness of seeing new things and finding the joy in the simple things. it’s something that would be so important for harry and could truly help with his recovery, because him not having any mental health problems is so painfully unrealistic. and luna would be wonderful for improving his mental health, as she understands him and can see straight through him. also, she’d bring him out of his comfort zone into things he’d never though he’d find himself doing, but enjoying nonetheless. he needs someone to bring out a different side to him, and show him all the different possibilities life has to offer, people i can easily see harry have troubling with seeing the light in life after everything he’s been through.

i’m definitely rambling at this point so let me conclude : i love ginny to pieces, she’s one of my absolute favorite characters. but with the careless way she was written, and the unrealistic terms in which her and harry’s relationship was written under, i can’t help but see harry and luna being a more realistic match.

#harry potter #luna lovegood #harry x luna #ginny weasley #harry potter ships #harry potter opinions #character study #character analysis #opinions #discourse

[candlelight27]

Chapter 6: This Mask That I've Become

Summary: Sylvain has been ignoring you since you met him. You had been in love with him since you met him. College is about to offer you a fresh start. New academic year, new life. You were ready to forget him. But fate seems to have other plans… (COLLEGE AU)

Series: Seeking Your Warmth If Only For A Day

Warnings: kissing in a church lol, tresspassing and etc... don't do that, kids

Pairings: Sylvain Jose Gautier x Female Reader

Word Count: 7065

AO3: This Mask That I’ve Become

A/N:  Thanks to @galamixx again for being my beta! It's hard, I know lol so I appreciate it a lot!!!

I hope you like this chapter! It was a bit hard cause I'm going into unknown territory, but I hope you enjoy it either way. Comments, likes, whatever is really really appreciated! Thanks for sticking around with this!

My dearest Byleth,

Your letters brighten my days, otherwise dulled by duties. I must ask for your forgiveness again, since I couldn’t answer any text message yet. Seteth is trying to help me, but he’s not well versed in technology either. The world is moving way too quickly for us to catch up…

Please, keep updating me with the news of our dear students. I’m truly happy to see them thrive and prosper in the continuation of their studies. All those stories you tell me remind me of good times, already gone… Times I wish to never forget. It’s a gift of the Goddess to be able to see them again, even though I must stay in the shadows of this lonely cathedral.

I know we mustn’t be seen together, but I long to see you. Please, visit us soon. Seteth wants to have tea with you, too. He’s much more cheerful now that he’s sure Flayn is safe and sound whatever she wishes to do.

The real reason for this letter is to inform you that I arranged an archive to keep all of our memories safe. I know I refused your petition at first, but after long hours of deep thought, I came to the same conclusion as you. It’s our obligation to ensure the safety of the continent and everyone who lived here, and if we lose our memories, we wouldn’t be able to do it. And in case we die… others will take on our legacy. Hopefully, you’ll be able to take a look at them soon, so you can add any necessary information. I’ll send them as soon as they’re finished.

I’m doing as you instructed: I’m writing reports and so are the other Nabateans.

Thank you for your dedication, Byleth. I’ll always be here for you.

Yours sincerely,

Rhea.

Sylvain and you were next to each other, leaning over the table in your kitchen. Your gaze was fixed on the careful strokes of Rhea’s quill. Ingrid wasn’t home, so told her you’d invite Sylvain over to study and finish that project ‒ which you hadn’t touched in months, if you were being honest. Of course, it was just an excuse. Instead of doing homework, you were chatting and conspiring among opened books about matters not related at all with university. Who’d rather do that when you were living a real adventure?

As you went over the letter for an eleventh time, Sylvain called your name expectantly. He had a bright gleam in his eye that screamed trouble.

“Do you know what day it is next Friday?” He asked, a tilted smile on his lips.

“It’s the 21st,” You answered. You took the letter with your index finger and thumb, and slowly placed it back inside the envelope.

“Yes and no, my dear friend. It’s the founding day of the Kingdom of Faerghus”, Sylvain pointed out. You raised your eyebrows, questioning. You already knew that, just as every other student; that day marked the date when lessons were interrupted. Typically, there was a week more to hand over projects and other requirements to pass the subjects, so some students went right back home, yet others stayed behind in their dorms until they were completely finished.

“So what?” You asked.

The redhead breathed deeply as he prepared mentally for what was coming next. He felt the weight of your eyes on him. Were you judging him? No, you weren’t, he was well aware of that, but he couldn’t discard all those doubts that bombarded him at all times. He felt the guilt running through his veins and he was second guessing his next proposition.

“I’ve got a plan,” he managed to say at last. That charming façade of his that made him always get his way had faded away. You tilted your head, unable to make heads or tails of Sylvain and prompting him to explain himself. He cleared his throat and continued. “That evening, a special mass is going to be celebrated, just like every year. It’s the perfect opportunity to sneak a peek of those documents.”

“The perfect opportunity?” You exclaimed, eyes wide open. “Sylvain, it’s going to be crowded!”

“Yes! That way, nobody will notice we’re hiding in the old confessionary booth! You know they barely use it anyways. Then, we get out when everybody’s gone, we go to Rhea’s office, find the documents and run away as far as we can.”

You blinked, once, twice, thrice. Sylvain was impatient to hear your opinion. He was jolting his leg up and down out of nervousness as you bit your lips, deep in thought. He already knew you had said you were in this together, that you'd help him find the truth, yet those were just words, not acts. He needed your reassurance once again, for deep inside his chest, against his wishes, he was expecting you to reject his idea, to ridicule him and leave him behind ‒ just like Miklan, like his parents. Because wasn’t that what always happened? He trusted someone, then they’d betray him for circumstances that he never could understand.

“Are you sure that’s not trespassing?” You frowned.

“Since it’s a religious building, I’m pretty sure it’s not,” he claimed. “There’s a right of devotion, or something like that.”

“You’ve thought of this carefully, haven’t you? It’s a solid plan.” You nod slowly. Solid and stupid. It could work, but it entailed a great risk.

“It is,” Sylvain said. His heart was pounding fast in his chest, waiting for your objections.

“What if somebody catches us?”

“We’ll say we forgot something”, he posed. “My phone, your purse, whatever.”

“Seteth won’t buy it”, you argued.

“But it’s me who you’re going with,” he pointed to his own face. “He’ll just think we’re there to bang. He’ll lecture us and won’t think about it further. My reputation precedes me, after all.”

“Okay, fine”, you yielded easily. “In for a penny, in for a pound.” You stretched your arms, thinking about what you were getting into. However, for some indefinite reason, you weren’t worried about it. You were more worried about him.

Sylvain was relieved but, as always, uneasy with his own actions. Was he asking too much of you? Was he pushing your limits? It was hard to act all cool and mighty around you when he could barely control his own feelings and the messy train of thought that always accompanied him.

“I’ll drive us there,” Sylvain commented when he noticed he had been silent for a while. Even though you nodded and tried to smile, you were worried about Sylvain. You noticed him getting lost in his own thoughts, and it was worse that he had the horrible habit of never telling anyone what tortured him inside. Despite wanting to ease him, you couldn’t do anything but reassure him that the plan will go well. Executing it was the only thing left to do now.

--

Sylvain double parked right in front of your building. He was well dressed to go to the Cathedral, with a white button-up, dress pants and boots. His parents might be there, after all, and he didn’t want to piss them off. Sylvain tapped the wheel with his fingers. It was too early, but he couldn’t wait at home — He was restless, so he had driven to distract himself. Still, that didn’t make him calmer, so he was restless in front of your window instead.

Impatient and anxious, Sylvain grabbed his phone out of his pocket and wrote a message. There was a reason for his uneasiness: he was going to ask you out. Or he was going to reiterate his love for you and see where things would go from there.

Torn between his own actions, his happiness, and if it might make this whole timeline shenanigan more confusing for you, he couldn’t fall asleep and instead dwelled on it for hours. Something had to change. Pitying himself and being a hollow piece of shit to almost everyone only deepened the wound in his soul.  He plucked up the courage and decided he’d do things the right way from then on. And, first, he had to confess to you a couple of things ‒ a sort of declaration of intent.

Sylvain wouldn't ask Ingrid for advice, because she would think this is another one of his dating escapades. She never takes him seriously. Dimitri always understood him, but was clueless. So was Felix, who would be even more unwilling to help. Claude would give him the best piece of advice, but he refused asking the Almyran out of pride. And he was sure Dorothea would tell him to fuck off. So he had only one option. His usual first option, because she knew him like the palm of her hand and always spoke her mind: Mercedes.

Sylvain 15:10 : Mercedes, pls, help me ☹

Mercedes 15:10 : What’s wrong, Sylvain?

Mercedes answered almost immediately. Her attention eased his nerves. Sylvain looked at his watch; he had about twenty minutes left until you’d meet him and sort out his agitation.

Sylvain 15:11 : It’s about you-know-who

Sylvain 15:11 : I need your advice

Mercedes 15:11 : You-know-who finally confessed?

Sylvain 15:12 : No, but I might?

He had finally worded it. A weight lifted off his shoulders. Mercedes would know if it was madness or in fact it would work, right?

Mercedes 15:12 : What are your true intentions?

Sylvain 15:12 : I think I’m in love, for real

Mercedes 15:13 : Oh dear

Mercedes 15:13 : At first I thought you weren’t that serious

He could hear the voice of Mercedes exclaiming, as he had for years. He wasn’t surprised. How many times has he toyed with the idea of love only to discard it? And he had never ever been serious with anyone. If somebody showed the littlest interest in him, he’d dismiss that person and do terrible things to them before they’d do them to him.

Mercedes 15:13 : I told her to be careful around you because you play with women’s feelings

Sylvain 15:13 : I’m not angry, can’t blame you for speaking the truth

Sylvain 15:14 : But you’re the worst wingman ever, tbh

Sylvain 15:14 : Still love you tho <3

Mercedes 15:14 : There is something positive!

Mercedes 15:14 : You-know-who hasn’t run away yet! You two grew closer instead! Most would have run away!

Mercedes 15:15 : I think that’s a good sign

Mercedes 15:15 : She might be in love with you, even if she doesn’t know it

Sylvain 15:16 : I don’t like that might. I’d rather to be sure about it

Mercedes 15:16 : Just remember doubts are natural, but you must persist

Mercedes 15:16 : It’s now or never, confess your love!

Mercedes 15:17 : And don’t play with her feelings, please

Sylvain 15:17 : I know it’s hard to believe, Mercie, but I’m serious

Mercedes 15:18 : Sothis has answered my prayers then 😊

Sylvain 15:18 : Or Byleth. The professor paired us on that damned project.

Mercedes 15:18 : I have to go now. I’ll answer later. Write to me if you need it, ok?

Sylvain 15:19 : Ok, see you! Thanks, Mercedes

He appreciated Mercedes’ honesty. However, she had given Sylvain another headache, for the devout girl had reminded him of something else. He hadn’t gone out with a girl in months. He had uninstalled all his dating apps – which weren’t exactly for dating, obviously, but flings. Even so, years of being a bastard had to catch up with him at some point, and he guessed it’d be soon enough.

A knock on the window of the car startled him. It was you, with a radiant smile.

“You’ve come early!”, he greeted you as he opened the window. Unknowingly, Sylvain hid his mobile phone. “Get in.”

You went around the car, which looked new, but not extravagantly expensive, and opened the door.

“You’re the one who is early!”, you said, fastening your seatbelt. “Did I have you waiting for too long?”

“Not at all!” Sylvain brushed it off.

“I saw your car through the window, that’s why I came earlier”, you smiled.

Without further ado, he started the engine and thus began your two-hour journey to the biggest cathedral in Fódlan, and your old highschool.

--

The nearer you were to Garreg Mach, where you practically lived for years – excluding holidays, of course, when you’d visit your family – the more mountains and nature you’d see through the windows.

Sylvain was suspiciously quiet yet again.

“I thought Dimitri would be coming with us?” You asked to spark a conversation against the unbearable silence.

“He’s going to spend all the break with his father in Faerghus after the mass, so he’s not returning to college afterwards,” Sylvain explained nonchalantly. “Besides, he doesn’t like when others drive. Just an odd habit of his.”

“What about you?” You asked. “How come you aren’t going to Faerghus afterwards too? You’ve finished all your papers.”

“Nah”, he shrugged. “My relationship with my family… is rocky. So I’ll be staying behind until our university closes and I finish all my excuses.”

“I thought Miklan was gone for a long while.”

“Well, it’s not just Miklan...” The redhead added. “My father is not interested in me and my whole being, but rather in my grades and my capacity of managing his businesses and his land. Oh, and he’s also-” Sylvain hesitated. He realized he usually doesn’t open up to others this fast. However, thinking about the past you two share, and how you’re always genuine to him despite everything he’s making you do, he continued. “My father is also constantly trying to auction off my hand to any bigwig’s daughter who might make a big investment for the family. It’s exhausting.”

“Sounds horrible. I’m sorry you have to deal with a family like that.” You commented sympathetically. You wanted to express your compassion, so you caressed his shoulder. However, Sylvain flinched in the slightest manner, which you noticed and retreated your hand.

“Remember those girls in the library long ago?” He wondered.

“Yes.”

“I met them in one of my father’s parties. Two fickle, capricious girls that wanted a good catch to get expensive gifts and an exciting roll in the hay.” His tone was harsh, and you saw his knuckles whiten over the wheel. Suddenly, he changed his register into a lighter one. “I forgot to tell you that Edelgard is going to be there with Dimitri. She usually can’t attend, since Enbarr is too far away. Maybe she’s going to stay with Dimitri in Fhirdiad to… amend their relationship. Who knows. And Hubert will be surely there, being Edelgard’s shadow.”

“Ah, I see. Well, she is Dimitri’s step sister, after all, they ought to be on good terms,” You commented.

“Isn’t she your friend?”

“Not exactly. Well, not like Dorothea. We get along, but we haven’t met that much outside the classroom.” You answered.

“I see.” He nodded slightly.

You took advantage of your position in the co-pilot seat and observed him. His soft hair, dark red in the roots and orangey where the light caressed it, the shape of his straight nose and his outlined jaw... He was objectively handsome. The actions of those girls Sylvain talked about were despicable, but it wasn’t hard to imagine that they thought they had won the lottery: this man was rich, handsome, friendly and extremely seductive. However, they had miscalculated the situation, because they had not been the first nor the last ones to try, and they didn’t know Sylvain hated playing that game.

It saddened you, that he had to live that. But it saddened you even deeper in your heart that you didn’t know what to expect. Nothing could assure you that Sylvain would get over his ex-lovers and stalkers. And yes, you liked him – some would assure you were in love with him – but would you be able to pursue a romantic relationship? Especially in this situation?

Ingrid had voiced her opinion a lot of times: you shouldn’t try it. You knew that whatever you did, she was going to support you, but she had her reservations. Mercedes was wary as well. The only dissonant view was Dorothea’s.

Dorothea had gone to a date with Sylvain back in high school and she concluded he was a pig. You had heard so, sat in your desk right behind hers as she was telling the story to Edelgard. Despite that, Dorothea and Sylvain became allies of some sort – which made you jealous until you finally befriended the star of the Garreg Mach choir. It might have been the common nature of the gossip they both faced, or the fact that most of the high-end parties they attended were frequented by the same dull people. It didn’t matter what it was, but, although Dorothea restated constantly that Sylvain was nauseating, her attitude towards him had changed. It lit a small hope within your heart that your friend, who usually despised a lot of men of his kind, was encouraging you.

“Give him a chance!”, she exclaimed one day while you were having lunch with her and Petra. “I feel it in my gut! You’re made for each other.” Petra agreed, although she didn’t know either of you that much.

Yet, what made you different from all those girls Sylvain hated? That unexplained deep connection? Because, other than that, nobody could tell if your love was more authentic than theirs. You weren’t even sure yourself. Did you like him because he was a pretty face, or because you actually were in love? It was hard to tell.

As if Dorothea had read your mind and your hesitation, your phone vibrated.

Dorothea 15:53 : GO FOR THE KILL

Dorothea 15:53 : Make him suffer a little bit before falling into his arms tho

Dorothea 15:53 : AND tell me ALL the juicy details afterwards 😉

“What’s wrong?” Sylvain glanced over at you with a chuckle.

“What?”

“You just snorted!” He laughed.

“Oh, just Dorothea wishing us good luck,” You tried to sound nonchalant, but you weren’t as good as him. He laughed.

“Is she telling you to avoid me like I’m a pest?”

“Something like that…” You lied.

--

It didn’t matter from which angle you observed it; the Cathedral had always been impressive. The clear stone, bathed in the sunrays, seemed to be pure gold, resplendent in its holiness. The place stirred like a hive with the confluence of people, most of whom you knew. A nostalgic sensation washed over you.

“Could you wait here?” Sylvain asked, moving his head around and narrowing his eyes to figure out the identity of the people around you. “I have to go greet my parents.” He clarified.

“Do you want to go alone?”

“Yes”, he scratched the back of his head. “I’m sure you’ll meet them one day,” He winked, “but not today.”

The redhead faded into the crowd, while you waited in the courtyard right before the hall. You didn’t know what to do, so you sat over one of the low walls. You saw a patch of blonde hair, but you weren’t sure if it was Dimitri, so you didn’t move. Meanwhile, you recognised many of the passers-by, as they were family of your own classmates, but you doubted they’d remember you.

A deep voice called your name from the shadows of a nearby tree. You looked at the source of the sound.

“Hubert?” You blinked several times. That was a surprise.

“Indeed. I’m here to accompany Edelgard. What are you doing here?”, he asked. “I was certain that you didn’t like going to mass, and you have to ties with the Kingdom of Faerghus.”

“I’ve come with Sylvain”, you answered. Hubert’s eerie, yellow eyes were fixed on you, disturbing you.

“I see,” he commented. A small grimace that resembled a smile formed on his lips.

“He’ll come in a moment”, you forced a smile. You didn’t dislike Hubert, but he had an extraordinary ability to put your nerves on edge.

“I wanted to thank you for that favour,” he commented efficiently.

“That thing?”, you made an ‘o’ with your lips. “No need to thank me, Hubert. We’re… friends?”

“I prefer the term strategic partners”, he nodded.

“Okay, that name is fine too.”

“The reason I’m here is that I must inform you that the heir of the Gautier is engaged”, he said with solemnity.

“Excuse me?” Your little world shattered into pieces, broken. What the fuck was Hubert talking about?

“A month ago, his parents engaged him with one of the daughters of Mr. Rowe. Since you’re rather close with him, I thought you should know it.”

“... I see.”, you muttered, still shocked, trying to remain composure.

“I must go now,” he said, but he didn’t move. “I apologise for being the harbinger of bad news.”

“No need to worry, I just was surprised. See you around”, you waved at him, indicating that you’d be okay. Hubbert made a bow and vanished.

That was an unexpected turn of events. Your heartbeat was loud and fast, and you did your best to quickly blink away tears so that no one would notice. Despite the doubts, the second thoughts and all the things against you, you had thought you’d be in control whether you ended up with Sylvain or not. However, just like the rest of your life, it seemed that you were trapped in a book somebody else was writing. And now, in the place where your crush had begun, any hope you harboured had disappeared, just like a flame put out with a bucket of cold water.

You opened and closed your eyes rapidly to make the tears disappear and stood up. You breathed in and out in slow movements. Your body began relaxing.

Where was Sylvain? There was almost nobody else outside. The mass would begin in almost five minutes. He must have been talking with his parents, if what Hubert said was true. How were you in such a deep mess?

As if your thoughts had summoned him, Sylvain appeared from the lateral of the cathedral.

“Hey! You ready?” He sprang to you.

“Yes,” You tried to cover your face. You couldn’t let him see you in vulnerability.

“Okay, remember the plan.” He leaned into you, lowering his voice. “We sit on the back row, and 10 minutes before the end we get out. Then, we enter through the left door and hide in the confessionary booth. You go in first, then I follow you 3 minutes apart.”

You nodded and walked into the cathedral. You couldn’t look at him in the eyes. It was going to be a long evening.

--

The confessional booth was dark inside. There was a separation between the two parts that composed it, so the space was reduced. You sat on the wooden bench, thankful that it didn’t crack at all.

Sylvain had been right: nobody saw you. The confessionary itself, with an entry in the back, blocked the view of the lateral door to any onlooker that could have been there. On the other hand, you could see the people sitting in the left wing of the building through the lattice in a very convenient way. It was an excellent place to hide. The pulpit was far away, yet the voice of Archbishop Rhea was heard everywhere.

In spite of your relative security, this had to be by far the worst idea you had ever agreed on. Everything seemed doomed in that moment. You were sure in that moment that you’d get caught or expelled. You wanted to run away.

But right then, the back door silently opened and Sylvain entered the scene.

Sylvain’s wide shoulders almost didn’t fit through the entrance. You tried to move around to make some space for him, but it was in vain. You were thankful for the shadows, because your cheeks were growing redder and redder by the moment as his presence became more and more noticeable.

You didn’t know how exactly, but you ended up with your legs over his lap, your shoulders touching and your faces way too close for your liking. At least right then, when Hubert’s words were still fresh in your mind.

The choir started singing a tune, which indicated that the mass was approaching its end. Such pure voices were inappropriate for that moment you were sharing with Sylvain.

“I swear this was bigger before...” Sylvain whispered in your ear. It made your hair stand on end.

“Yes, when we were confessing, being 12 and younger, and being alone. Now it’s even more tiny because someone decided to have the both of us in here.” You grunted back, careful of not being heard.

His breath caressed your face, and his warmth radiated from his clothes. He was too comfortable, and you felt like you could be cuddled like this forever, while at the same time you wanted to run away from his touch. It occurred to you that he might have been a sorcerer, and that he had put you in an unavoidable spell. How else would all these feelings be so intense? It couldn’t be just love, right?

“I have something to tell you,” Sylvain said, but he wasn’t looking at you.

Was he going to tell you that he was engaged? Your breathing was erratic once more. You couldn’t flee, much to your dismay.

“What is it?”

“I…”, he cut himself.

“You…?” You were suspenseful, but you weren’t sure for what. Disappointment? Elation? Sylvain turned his head and fixed his pupils on yours.

“Be my girlfriend.” He managed to speak. You had no words. The world was definitely laughing at your face. “I’m in love with you and you’re in love with me. So why not? Isn’t it the logical thing to do?”

“It’s not that easy, Sylvain, despite how much I wish it was.” You sighed, at a loss for better words.

“Why not?” He pressed.

His heart dropped and a thousand thoughts rushed into his mind. He wanted to scream. How could he dare to think someone would genuinely love him? He got hurt, as it always happened. He shouldn’t have let his walls down, not even for you. He shouldn’t seek love, he shouldn’t have bothered. Everytime he considered himself worthy of love, the world around him would start crashing down. ‘You’re set yourself up for failure’, Sylvain kept repeating to himself. That’s what his father always told him when things didn’t turn out well. His father had been right. He was a failure. Even when his intentions were pure, he had already tainted his future. There was no redemption for him, right?

You picked up on the rising panic on Sylvain’s face, and you felt guilt inside your chest.

“I’m scared,” you said, trying to justify yourself. You believed it was the moment to be sincere. “I’m scared that you’re lying to use me. Or that you’d just get bored and throw me away.”

“I’d never do that to you,” he said, horrified by the fact that you wouldn’t accept he was telling the truth. “You’re not like the-”. He interrupted himself. “I see it now. I won’t stop repeating the same sentence, right? Now nobody will believe me.” Sylvain covered his face with his hand. “I cried the wolf way too many times…” He mutters.

“There’s something else,” you whispered.

“Just say it. It’s not gonna get worse at this point.” Sylvain chuckled somberly.

“You’re engaged.”

“It’s not something I chose. And it’s definitely not something I’m happy about.” He stated. Your words felt like a knife on Sylvain’s skin. “I didn’t want to tell you because I thought I’d get my parents to break the engagement first, but it’s taking longer than I’d expected.”

Out of the blue, Sylvain placed his hands around your face.

“Will you be my girlfriend? You didn’t say no. You know that I wouldn’t willingly propose to a girl when you are right here by my side. You haven’t seen me with another girl, have you?” He assured, a tinge of desperation in his voice.

“I don’t want to say no,” you answered, confused. “But- Sylvain, we’re doomed. We’re not meant to be.”

“I don’t care about fate. Does that mean you’d give me a chance?” His eyes were intense, hard and, all the same, warm and comforting, with the colour of liquid caramel. Sylvain threw all his doubts away for once, just wanting to be with you. You were one of the only things keeping him happy.

“I don’t know… Sylvain, I-”

“If you tell me I’ve still got a chance, I’m not going to give up. I love you.” He announced seriously. “Don’t get me wrong, if you really want me out of your life, I will do it, but otherwise…”

“This is a trap. How am I supposed to tell you looking at you in the eye that I don’t want to see you ever again?” You complained.

“I’m not a trickster, but I’m not gonna let you go either. I’ll have to convince you to be mine, then.”

“And how are you going to convince me?”, you furrowed your eyebrows.

“I already did the hardest part, I made you fall for me.” he smirked.

With that, you couldn’t resist the invisible force pulling yourself to him anymore. You crashed your lips against his and sat astride his lap. It was easy; you had already done it before. Sylvain was amazed, but he was not one to lose an opportunity. He kissed you back. Unable to control himself, his hands grabbed your waist, but he didn’t let himself explore. He was unsure of what was happening, but he was glad he’d got to taste your lips a second time.

You pressed your chest against his torso, while trying to hug him closer. His lips were soft and firm, his movements decided, and he knew what he wanted. Sylvain took advantage of a pause you took for breathing and let his tongue slide in. He was voracious and greedy in his attentions, and he did not let a single speck of your mouth untouched.

You were starting to feel dizzy and wanted much more, but you stopped.

“Everybody should be gone by now,” you muttered, his mouth still pressed to yours. He was panting, and you could guess what was on his mind – you could feel his excitement rising in his lap, after all.

“What was that for?”

“I felt like it.” you lovingly took off a lock of his hair from his forehead. “I’m not going to give you my heart just like that, but I swear to the Goddess, I can’t resist you.”

“Well, I’m not going to complain if you do it again, you know.” he smirked, releasing you from his grip. “After all, we have to make up for lost time.” He grabbed your wrist before letting you go completely, and lowered his tone. “But don’t get used to torturing me like this, or I’ll eventually lose my composure.”

“I’ll risk it,” you playfully answered while you distanced yourself.

You exited the booth without a single sound. The church was dark, since there was no light coming from the large windows anymore. The sun was gone. The place was creepy without a single source of brightness, and the stone was grey and cold.

Your steps followed Sylvain as he manoeuvred between the pews and towards the sets of stairs that led to the upper floor. You had not been there frequently, just once or twice to help Seteth move some books after class. Sylvain, however, knew the place like the palm of his hand due to Seteth’s insistence in correcting the mischievous redhead’s nature. Seteth never achieved his ambition, of course, but as a result, Sylvain could go to Rhea’s office with his eyes closed. And to Seteth’s one, to the cleaning supplies stall and many more rooms he had the pleasure to visit in his youth.

“Careful with the stairs, the stone is worn-out, and you can fall down”, Sylvain warned you.

There were bright coloured statues of the saints and Seiros splattered around, along with some old-looking tapestries that needed to wash. You couldn’t admire them for long, because before you could register that you were raiding the empty cathedral at 8 p.m., Sylvain had already stopped before a wooden door.

“It’s here”, he stated solemnly.

“Are you ready?”, you asked.

“More than ever”, he smiled and turned around the doorknob.

Of course, it was closed.

“Fuck”, he said.

“We should have expected that”, you rubbed your temple.

“Do you have a bobby pin?”

“Nope”, you hummed.

“Okay, time to go home I guess”, Sylvain suddenly laughed, and so did you. “It feels like we’ve gone crazy, right?”

“Oh my god, Sylvain, you thought about the confessional booth but it didn’t occur to you that the door might have been locked?”, you giggled.

“Shut up! You could have guessed it, too!”

“Four months ago I thought I’d never speak to you in my life, and look at us now”, you couldn’t help the laughs.

“What’s so fun?”, Seteth’s voice reverberated through the narrow corridor, shutting both your mouths at the same time.

He had appeared from a door right across you ‒ from his own office, you presumed. You were so nervous that you couldn’t say a word. It was surreal. Seteth didn’t look angry, he looked curious instead, something you weren’t used to. The years might have eased his nerves. But that fact didn’t make your position any easier.

“Look, Seteth, we’re not here for any funny business”, Sylvain defended himself and you. He stepped forwards out of habit.

“Because entering Lady Rhea’s office is not suspicious at all”, Seteth calmly replied.

“Okay, it seems suspicious. But it’s not what it seems,” he began scratching the back of his head. “I dragged her here and…”

You had relaxed enough to form coherent words. And you decided it was the moment to come out clean, because lies and secrets were just turning your life upside down. Furthermore, Seteth’s presence ignited an old feeling; the need to rely on a much more mature adult. You cut Sylvain’s words.

“Seteth, we’ve come here looking for some papers that belong to Lady Rhea”, you said loud and clear. “We were going to steal them.”

“What are you doing?” Sylvain asked incredulously.

“Seteth, we’ve been having the weirdest dreams”, you said. “And they won’t stop, to the point they seem real, like memories.” Seteth's disposition changed. He tensed, and his face paled. “We went to Byleth’s office and… we read a letter from the Archbishop. We know that those dreams happened, but we wanted to verify it and learn why everything’s happening. Otherwise, we’ll go mad.”

Seteth’s green eyes went from your figure to Sylvain’s and back to you again. It was visible that he was torn, choosing what to do. The older man sighed, defeated. He had lost from the beginning, because he couldn’t conceal his fear from such an unexpected accusation.

“It’s a long story”, Seteth said. “Come into my office and have some tea.”

He let you in the room, only lit with candles scattered around. You and Sylvain sat on a sofa that was behind the coffee table. Sylvain went to a desk filled with piles of papers, where there was an electric kettle and various wooden boxes.

“I’ve got ginger tea and a four-spice blend. There must be some sweet-apple blend too somewhere here, Flayn’s favourite”, Seteth offered.

“I don’t mind which one”, you said, smiling politely.

“We’ll have whatever you're having, Seteth”, answered Sylvain.

There was a prolonged silence. The only sounds were the boiling water of the kettle and Seteth rummaging in his drawers. A nice aroma of ginger slowly spread through the air.

The man of the church placed three teacups on the table and sat in the armchair right in front of you. You had never noticed, but Seteth was fit, way too much for a man of his profession. It made sense, though, when you remembered his expertise upon a wyvern.

“I’m sorry about the light. I never got around installing lamps, and I like the candles. They remind me of more familiar times…”, Seteth said as he poured you a cup of steaming tea. “Where should I begin?”, he inquired.

“Did those things really happen?”, Sylvain asked first.

“Yes”, Seteth nodded matter-of-factly. “All those memories you’ve recovered have happened in the past. Or… in our other lives, as I like to say.”

“Are those things going to happen again?”, it was your turn to ask, then. Seteth could sense the fear in your voice.

“We hope the war will never repeat itself”, he reassured you. “We don’t really know what the future has in store for us, but we’ve deemed it very unlikely. The events that have happened in this era are completely different from those in the past.”

“Who are ‘we’?” Said Sylvain. “If you don’t mind the questions…”

“The Nabateans,” Seteth answered dryly. He took a sip of his cup of tea. “I’m sure you remember, the Immaculate One back in the battle of Garreg Mach, right?”

“Some things are… vague for me”, Sylvain lamented, because you had told him the story a million of times, but he couldn’t recall the encounter.

“I remember it. It was Lady Rhea, right? I remember Edelgard telling us she was a monster controlling the continent from the shadows.” You explained.

“Yes… So-”

“Wait,” Sylvain interrupted Seteth. “Can you turn into a dragon?”

“Not me,” he denied. “It's been hundreds of years, but that’s not quite the topic of this conversation, is it?” The green-haired man reminded him.

“But how did it happen? How did we end up living so many lives?”, you interceded. “Why didn’t we… just die?”

“It’s Byleth’s doing”, Seteth replied. “Lady Rhea, back when Byleth was born in 1159, placed Sothis’ heart in his, hoping our mother would live again…”

“Sothis… the Goddess? She’s real?” Sylvain was dumbfounded. You looked at your cup of tea, then to Seteth, unable to articulate an answer. You were thankful for Seteth’s patience.

“Yes. This gave him great power, as he became one with the Goddess. Which granted Byleth as well the power of turning back the hands of time.”

“So he’s been turning back the time after the war of Fódlan?”, you exclaimed.

“Byleth wanted to save us all from the tragedy that devastated Fódlan. He kept turning back to the year 1180, yet one way or another, the string of events led to the same. So, at last, Byleth decided he needed to go way back, to the beginning of everything.” He paused, and saw your faces focused on every word that was escaping his mouth. He smiled to himself, remembering those times when you both were younger and listened to his lessons. Your faces might have changed, and your voices and bodies, but the eyes of his pupils were still the same. “Sothis, aware of the future, made her holy sacrifice to prevent Nemesis and his kind to take over. The history of Fódlan changed just enough to give us a rest...”

“So Byleth’s hair will be dark blue forever now?”, Sylvain asked.

“Yes. The professor is no longer the vessel of the Goddess,” Seteth clarified. “There are no longer any crests nor Hero’s relics. Therefore, technology has prospered, and your generation was born later ‒ although we don’t know exactly why this happened.” Seteth paused to sip his tea and hear your questions, but all the information had left you and Sylvain dumbfounded. Therefore, he continued his speech, somewhat relieved that he could finally tell a human all these burdens. “Flayn used to cry a lot, weeping about your absence,” he tenderly recalled. “Lady Rhea and I were sad too. We’ve been through a lot, all of us, after all…”

“I have another question, Seteth…”, Sylvain started. He was in deep thought, just like you. “Why is it that we’ve got our memories back?”

“I honestly have no idea…”, Seteth shook his head from side to side. “It could be because of your previous relationship. Back in the Officers Academy you were on... extremely good terms, as far as I know, so when I was your teacher in this high school it surprised me that you two never coincided. However, you’ve found your way next to each other, so perhaps some things are meant to be…” The older man trailed off, but continued. “Well, I don’t know. I know for us, the kin of Sothis, it’s probably due to our blood. For humans… it’s harder to tell.”

You looked at Sylvain from the corner of your eye, but you didn’t dare to face the ginger.

“Isn’t this a big secret?” you questions, amazed that Seteth ‒ and no other than Seteth himself ‒ was confiding to you such details.

“Yes, it is”, Seteth confirmed, narrowing his eyes.

“Why are you telling us, then?”

“Because, as I said, I appreciate you. Both of you. We’ve fought side by side, you’ve rescued Flayn numerous times”, he crossed his arms over his chest again. “Sylvain risked his life for Flayn numerous times, while you were also close to Byleth. It’s unnatural not to trust you...” Then, Seteth spoke once more. “But I must request that this reunion stays between us. Please. We don’t want any resentment to be born in such a peaceful time as this is. And I’ve broken so many rules right now that I’m frankly scared of what might happen.”

“Okay, we won’t say anything, Seteth”, you nodded. “I promise.”

“You have our word”, Sylvain accepted.

“Not even… Rhea or Byleth. If you don’t mind, this never happened.” Seteth touched his beard.

“Wait, Seteth, I still have Professor Byleth’s letter”, you said, worried. “He must have noticed it went missing…”

“Don’t worry about that, Byleth is a disaster. He came by this morning, I’ll tell him he dropped it and that he should be more careful”, Seteth smiled.

“Thank you, Seteth. For real”, Sylvain said. And you saw for the first time in his eyes the lightest shadow of hope.

#sylvain x reader #fe3h #fe3h fanfic #sylvain jose gautier x reader #female reader #reader insert #sylvain jose gautier #fire emblem three houses fanfiction #fire emblem three houses

[ghostdrew22]

Bloodlines || Draco Malfoy

Requested: No Pairing: post-war Draco Malfoy x fem!reader Warnings: alcohol and some angst

WORDS : 1767

~~~

Song - Bloodlines by Sleeping With Sirens

"Try not to be like mom and dad, realize you're just fucked like them."

"Are we bound to lose? Maybe we just don't get to choose."

"Is it in our DNA? Was I just born this way?"

~~~

"Another one." Draco Malfoy declares to the bartender as he slams his empty brandy glass back onto the bar. He's always loved muggle bars- the awkward stench of desperation and misery wafting through the air, and the weird music they play to keep themselves busy- absolute chaotic perfection.

Not that wizard bars are much of an option for him- after the war ended six months ago, most wizards cut ties with the Malfoys and made a public show of shunning them. In wizard bars he's usually followed by cold stares and hushed whispers- about his parents and their sentence Azkaban- which makes it particularly difficult for him to drink away his sorrows in peace.

So this is now how most of his nights are spent- hopping from bar to bar and getting blackout drunk in an effort to erase the itch of memories from the war. The silence of the night is too heavy in the Malfoy Manor- all it does is remind him of the muffled screams and pleas of people that had been trapped in his house only months before- and he can't sleep there at night.

Sometimes the moonlight creates dancing shadows across the hallways- shadows that so starkly resemble death eaters floating through his house- and it takes everything in him to not set the entire house on fire. Every time he pulls out his wand he remembers the way his aunt had tortured Hermione Granger in their foyer, and he wishes that he could just snap it in half. Every time he thinks that he can move on and escape the past, it just finds another way to follow him.

He takes his refill and starts sipping it- hoping that peace will find him before the bottom of the glass does.

~~~

Across the bar- drowning her sorrows in a bottle of gin- is Zara Jameson. Her and the blonde had known, and hated, each other throughout their Hogwarts careers- constantly bickering and arguing with every opportunity that had presented itself. She'd hated him and everything he stood for- the spoiled, pretentious Slytherin prince- and her hate had only grown when the Dark War had fallen upon them and he'd found himself on the wrong side.

But that last night- when Voldemort had finally been defeated- she'd seen a shadow of the boy she'd always known as he walked to his parents, and all the hate had completely dissipated. She'd spent years despising him and yet in their final moments together she could only muster up pity for the blonde- realising that he'd only been a product of his parents love, or lack thereof.

She takes a sip of her gin and takes a look around the room- trying to find someone that she can use as a distraction for the night. Her eyes spot that familiar tint of blonde and she almost falls over- reality hitting her like a freight train. While he's being haunted by the memories of the war- thinking about them with every waking moment he has- she's been doing the opposite and pretending that it had never happened.

Even though the pain of losing her parents and friends has never left, she's managed to shove it down so far that it's merely a dull ache of a memory now. But seeing him sends all those memories flooding through her mind again, at full force- the sound of screams filling her ears and drowning out the music that's blaring through the room. She takes a deep breath and runs her hands down her face- trying desperately to collect herself- before doing something that she never thought she'd do.

She gets up and walks toward the blonde for a chat.

~~~

"I'll have some of what he's having." Zara tells the bartender as she sits herself beside Draco- who hasn't yet turned to look at her.

He groans, "Look, I'm not particularly interested in-" The words fall out of his mouth once he turns to find that the girl sitting next to him is Zara. He looks back it his glass quietly and gulps- remembering the way she'd looked terrified the last time he'd seen her.

"Don't flatter yourself, Malfoy." She rolls her eyes- picking up the glass of brandy that's been dropped in front of her and taking a swig of the foul drink.

"You'd actually be surprised how many times I've had to decline women's advances." He sighs and takes a sip of his drink- still refusing to look at her. "Even when I look like this." He gestures to his appearance.

Zara takes him in- noticing the way his hair has grown longer and now falls in his face slightly, and the stubble he has forming by his chin. "You look the way you should after something like that."

"What the fuck do you want?" He turns to her finally and asks- his voice raw like he's been crying for hours. "I hope this isn't some kind of scolding session, because believe me I've had enough of those."

"I'm not here to argue with you Malfoy."

"Are you here to console me? Because my parents are in Azkaban and I'm alone now? Or better yet, mock me for my misfortune?"

"I'm not here for any of that."

"Then what is it? What could the great Zara Jameson possible want with the tainted Draco Malfoy?"

"I just thought maybe you could use some company."

"Not sure it'd look good if you were seen with me. Your parents might disprove." He mumbles- remembering how much her parents had hated his own, not that he blames them.

"My parents are dead, Malfoy. Killed by death eaters- people like your parents." She says coldly as she finishes her drink, "I came here because I thought that maybe if anyone could understand trying to forget that it'd be you, but maybe I was wrong."

Draco feels guilt cage him and grabs her arm to stop her leaving. "I'm sorry, please stay."

"Are you done spitting in my face?" She crosses her arms.

"Yes." She slides back into the seat and gestures for the bartender to bring an entire bottle. "I'm sorry about that- the last six months have been rough."

"Don't I know it."

"Um, I'm sorry, about your parents-"

"No. No apologies." She opens the bottle and pours brandy into her glass before passing the bottle to him. "I've heard so many of those that I think I can probably predict what you'll say next."

He refills his glass and twirls the liquid around nervously. "Have you managed?"

"Managed what?"

"To forget?" He looks at her hopefully.

"No." She takes a deep breath in, "I didn't have the strength to obliviate myself."

"I didn't either." He blinks away the memory of all the dead bodies in his house, "I think I deserve to remember."

"I think we all deserve to remember."

"Why?"

"So we learn our lesson- so we learn to be better."

"What do you possibly have to learn? Your parents weren't death eaters- they weren't murderers."

"That doesn't mean they were good people. They might not have been death eaters but they were horrible people too, Draco."

"You called me Draco." He remarks absent-mindedly.

"I think you deserve to be separated from your family name." She smiles at him softly and he looks at her with a puzzled expression- not understanding where this newfound tolerance of hers has come from. "I want to be separated from my family name."

"Why?"

"There's too much weight in it." She sips her drink. "Everyone wants me to follow in my parents footsteps and take over their dynasty."
 "You don't want to?"

"Not at all."

"Why not?"
 "Why do you keep asking me for explanations?" She laughs and he shrugs with a sheepish smile.

"I'm curious Zara."

"You called me Zara." She smiles at him again and this time he gives a genuine smile back. "I'm worried that following in their footsteps will turn me into them."

"It doesn't have to." He pops some peanuts from the bar into his mouth and continues speaking, "You can change what you were born into."

"Can I really?"

"Yes, Zara."

"I don't know, maybe we just don't get to choose."

"What do you mean?"

"The fight between nature and nurture is non-existent if they're both the same." She sighs and takes some peanuts as well. "Is it in our DNA? Are we bound to lose?"

"You can't let the weight of their failures bury you."

"What am I meant to do?"

"Create your own legacy- change what the Jameson names stands for."

A silence falls between them as she ponders on his words- deciding that there is some merit in them.

"I think the worst part, is that I didn't like them enough to grieve them and it makes me feel guilty." She says after some thinking. She hasn't told anyone this- not after they died and not after she buried them.

"I feel the same way about my aunt. A part of me had even felt relieved and I haven't been able to forgive myself for it."

"Maybe we don't get to forgive ourselves- maybe instead of grief or pain we just get guilt."

"Well if that's the case then I've got guilt to spare." He downs his drink and decides that he's had enough brandy. He calls the bartender over and asks for a bottle of vodka with some cans of red bull- a mixture he'd learned from a muggle he slept with a few weeks back. "You know, I can still hear them."

"Who?"

"Everyone." He shudders, "Everyone that my family ever hurt in our home- I hear their screams every night when I try to fall asleep."

"You're still living in the Manor?" She asks in astonishment- watching him pour a shot of vodka into his glass with half a can of red bull, and doing the same.

"I can't leave."

"Why not?"

"It's a broken home- I keep hoping that I can rebuild it."

"What's it like to be all alone in a broken home?"

"Like living with shadows. I see them everywhere I turn."

"You need to leave."

"I don't deserve to leave- it's fair that they haunt me forever." He smiles sadly, "Someone needs to pay for what my parents did."

"Yes- them, not you." She places a hand on his shoulder. "Their debts aren't yours to pay."

Another silence falls upon them as they stare at each other- the real versions of each other. For the first time Zara can see the real Draco Malfoy that had been hiding underneath his jaded persona- the vulnerable and empathetic boy he'd tried so hard to hide in an effort to gain his parents approval. Draco Malfoy can finally see the Zara Jameson that everyone at Hogwarts had fallen in love with- the strong and intelligent girl that he'd been too blind to see.

"You're not so bad Jameson."

"Likewise Malfoy."

{}

Okay, that's it for my first one!  I wrote it with the name Zara instead of Y/N because I had already envisioned a Zara and by the time I realised that it was just going to be a one-shot, it was too late. The rest will be written with Y/N- unless requested otherwise ofc.

But let me know what you think and please drop in a request for me.

love you all,

jean <3

#draco malfoy #draco #draco x y/n #draco imagine #draco fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #draco malfoy angst

[ironxkid]

How would Iron Man!Carter react if she saw Tony again? Like through a rip in the multiverse or something?

((I honestly wasn't planning on answering things tonight, but I had to answer this because I have a LOT of thoughts about it sdfghjsdgf

so... it’d be a mixed reaction. First and foremost, Carter would be in disbelief. She saw him die, so for him to one day show up alive and well is going to throw her for a spin. She’ll be shocked and will, honestly, probably refuse to believe it to be actually her father at first. After all... she doesn’t want to believe he had been alive all that time and just... never came back to her. The thought would cross her mind, and if she let herself think about it, it would absolutely crush her

but once she got over that, she’d be delighted! Like, genuinely delighted. Because... that’s her dad alive and well again, and, yeah, she’d probably cry lol - it’d be understandable. But, that would be short-lived, admittedly. One thing to understand is that Obadiah fucked over her mind badly, both which how she saw herself, and how she believed others saw her. He knew she struggled with the weight of the Stark legacy, and he used it against her - he tricked her into believing her father would be disappointed in her and that she would be failing her father if she didn’t do xyz, which was actually a factor in why she finished Ultron. So... all of that would come right to mind, and she wouldn’t be able to be near him. She’d be terrified, not of Tony, but... of the fact she’d have to face that disappointment. The fact she would have to face how she had failed him and only managed to ruin his legacy instead of continuing it. Carter has a tendency to deflect most of her problems in just about every verse (though I will say she’s getting better at not doing so in her main!), and that is amped up in the ikau. So... for her, it’d be infinitely easier to just... avoid her father as much as possible, and make herself scarce to everyone else as well, to avoid whatever they’d have to say about the situation. If someone confronted her about it or tried asking what was wrong, she would just lash out in response - albeit, her lashing out is normal, but... her temper would be worse for sure because her defensiveness would be ramped up

Carter misses her father. A lot. She was never allowed to properly grieve, so she can’t handle her emotions properly. Emotionally, she’s stunted af, which is why she tends get defensive, if not outright aggressive. Her mind is in a horrible place, which is why she tends to basically shut herself off to get through days where she’s right on the edge of falling apart, and... all of that would become worse if Tony reappeared. And... if that’s not her father? If she realized that that Tony wasn’t the one she had known, and one from a different universe? It’d crush her. He’d be back and... it’s not even him

a part of her would blame him for leaving her in Obadiah’s care, I think. Rationally, she knows her father would never have left her to Obadiah had he known how cruel he was, but... she’s in a lot of emotional pain, and while that’s absolutely not an excuse, she finds it easier to react in anger and/or deflect the blame onto someone else. In reality, she blames herself for Obadiah’s abusive nature, believing she had done something wrong, and to ease that pain, it’d be easy to just... push it off onto her father, even though she knows she’s wholly wrong for doing so. It... wouldn’t be something that’d last, however, because her guilt would outweigh her need for relief, but if she expressed that blame? Then the damage would be done, and she’d have to face the consequences of her actions, just like she did with everything else

however, if... that Tony can get through to her, Carter would fall apart. She’d tell him everything, from how it started and how (as far as she believes) she’d failed him, and how it was all her fault and that she never wanted this, and that she was trying, because she trusts him, no matter how she may have reacted at first. But it would only be if he can get through - otherwise, it’d just be her acting the same like she did with the others, if not colder. She... does actually blame herself for her father’s death - she has major survivor’s guilt, and often wonders if he’d still be alive if he hadn’t pulled her out of the car

overall, it’d just be a huge fucking mess lol - Carter can’t handle her emotions properly, and... it’d be damn apparent. And whether or not she even exists in the universe Tony came from would absolutely influence everything. I mean, if she doesn’t exist, it’s gonna be fucking awkward for him to kinda sorta have a daughter who... apparently hates his guts, and it’d kill Carter to get her father back only for him to... not be her father

also I’m gonna tag @thenexusofsouls​ because she answered something similar, which you can find here if it wasn’t you who sent the question to her lol

#asks #v; iron kid au #headcanons #death mention tw #abuse tw #((I'm v tired and my brain is still extremely scattered so hopefully this makes sense dsfgjhsfdgkhj)) #((I might've gone in circles again rip)) #car accident tw #((I'd... actually really love to explore this in rp one day tbh! #whether Tony ends up in that universe or Carter ends up in his - either way sounds fun lol))

[hecohansen31]

Hayy hun, Can I requests a fic where Ivar becomes a grandfather? Like his daughter had a child and how he would react to that ❤❤modern or Vikings era ❤❤❤thank you❤

WARNINGS: Mention of Death, Grieving, Slight Mention to Childbirth, Cheesy.

‘Aslaug hold her like this’ Ivar showed his daughter, as he helped her hold her first child.

He wished that you could be beside him, but you hadn’t been able to.

And for a moment Ivar had been left to feeling completely lost to the horrible thought of having lost you, not too long ago.

What, somehow, made him relieved what that you hadn’t died with any regret to your conscience.

Your daughters were both married to men they loved with their whole heart, meanwhile your sons were living fulfilling their own plans, with Sigurd’s raids and Eric’s brilliant era of ruling.

You had had a long fulfilling life, having gained enough power.

Not that you needed it in the end, you were loved and respected in a way that made your gentleness shine bright as you ruled with it alongside honesty, gaining the trust of people.

That had been what had truly won Ivar his own lands.

And Ivar had never forgotten it.

For an entire month he had been lost, after your death, falling in the deepest sadness he had ever felt, unable to bring himself out of bed, praying for the gods to take him as well, although he wasn’t sure he’d find you in the afterlife.

Your life had for sure been valiant and you had fought many of your own battles and Ivar had even been able to slip a weapon in your hold as he felt the light flickering away from your beautiful eyes, a sickness having completely taken it from you.

But he knew that in some ways you hadn’t ever abandoned your Christian beliefs, even more after the death of your sister, since you had wanted to feel closer to her, so there wasn’t any sureness in you meeting in Vallhala or even Hel, although he hoped it.

He might have done the same exact thing of his father, baptizing himself, hadn’t he known it was already too late.

But then after a month of that aching pain in his chest, he had finally come to the realization that what you had spoken last was the truth.

‘Don’t let my death be yours, my sweet’ you had croaked, your voice so low that he had to lean himself right onto your chapped lips to catch it ‘… you still have duties to your children, our beloved children…’.

‘You aren’t going to die’ he had been simply able to utter ‘… you aren’t leaving me, understood? I defeated the Saxons, I defeated Lagertha, and I’ll defeat the gods if they won’t give us more time, enough for me to get used to the idea of your death, my beloved’.

And you had weakly moved a hand to his face, caressing him close as you muttered softly, right onto his lips,

‘… all our life we get ourselves used to death, to ours and the ones of your beloved around us’ you explained ‘… and I am happy to find such a death, in my own bed, surrounded by my beloved family, going to my mother and sister, finally joining them again’.

‘… don’t leave me’,

Ivar The Boneless had never pleaded for anything, but he had asked to the gods for more time.

And they hadn’t answered his prayers, a thrilling silence, the sole answer.

You had died taking one last breath as Ivar started his own cries.

And he had thought this pain would never end.

But it had dimmed, as he tried to find some happiness in your legacy, your children.

Aslaug had been pregnant back then, holding her full stomach as she went to his house to talk with him and make sure that he’d eat, and Ivar felt spurred on to let her know all about your own pregnancy, although she had already heard those stories multiple times.

Sigurd and Eric would try to lure him out of your shared private house into the Great Hall, preying on his own vanity, as they asked him for suggestions and old stories about his fighting days.

And slowly, although he hadn’t known it would have been possible, he had started surviving again.

And now he had a grandchild.

His first one.

One that you’d never see.

It brought a bit of sadness in his eyes, as Aslaug, although tired for the effort of pushing a baby out of her body, understood it, bringing her father closer with a loose arm, as she shared his sadness, desperately missing the mother that she had loved so much.

It seemed irreal to everyone that she had left them, without knowing the life that went on without her.

She missed her dearly.

But now they had a new life among them, and Ivar had a new reason to continue on living till Odin called him back.

“… good” Ivar tried to shift the attention away from himself, as Aslaug seemed to finally understand how to hold the small child in her arms, and immediately the baby stopped fussing, effectively falling asleep.

He remembered you doing the same exact thing, with a naturalness that had brought you four children and a world of happiness.

“… I’ll let your brothers in, they have been scared shitless of the screams they heard” he commented, making smirk tiredly his beloved daughter, who still stopped him with a trembling arm outstretched to him, and he simply turned to her “… do you have need of anything, sweet child?”.

“I just… I just was thinking” she bit her lips, almost as if she was scared of her father’s judgement and Ivar tried to do his best to make her more comfortable “… she is a female and me and my husband… thought about… about naming her like mother”.

Ivar was hit in the gut at that news.

And immediately Aslaug’s eyes shifted away from his, almost ashamed of the proposal, but Ivar gripped back her hand, as he made their eyes met, the same beautiful shades of blue, matched with your own form.

He had always thought that in the lines the twins were your image, and he was proud of it.

It made him remember how you were in your happiest times.

“… I think that is a beautiful idea”.

---

Liked What You Read? Want To Support Me? Buy Me A Ko-Fi!

---

Everything Taglist:

@maggiescarborough

Vikings Taglist:

@youbloodymadgenius, @alexhandersenx, @a-mess-of-fandoms, @lonewolf471, @flowers-in-your-hayr

#Ivar #Ivar The Boneless #Ivar Reader #Ivar x Reader #Ivar Imagine #Ivar Fic #Ivar The Boneless Fic #Ivar Fluff #Fluff #Ivar Angst #Angst #Ivar Ask #Ivar Drabble #Ivar Blurb #Ivar Moodboard #Vikings #History Vikings #Vikings Imagine

[ranger-jedi-knight]

This Unusual Love: Dexter’s Turn

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365357/chapters/55982161

Ok, so this is salt cause I’m bitter bout Apple. So ya, characters MAY be OOC but whatevs. Also, so in this, me n my friend were talkin bout this fic I’d write n we’d thought it’d be fun if Raven actually had brown hair like her father. So ye, Raven has brown hair(but with small purple high lights). Finally, this was inspired by virgil-is-a-cutie and thyladyanput on Tumblr talking about different salt ideas. I hope you enjoy it!!

All Raven wanted to do was decorate the float for Thronecoming.

But NO!

Apple just had to come up to her and try once more. She kept saying everyone was at risk if she didn’t sign. How her Happily Ever After was in RISK. It didn’t help that every time Dexter thought about talking to Raven he’d get glared at by Apple. Hell, even Daring was chill with Dexter talking to who he wanted.

Though Raven had to admit it looked like he only did that since he was seriously questioning his destiny with how Apple was acting. Not that she could blame him. With every day that passed since the failure of Legacy Day, she’s gotten worse about it. Everyone could see how different Apple was. She kept going on about how unfair it was. How she needed Raven to sign to become the new Evil Queen to poison her. How she just wants her Happily Ever After.

And they could see how she kept harassing Raven.

“How can you be so selfish, Raven!? If you don’t sign the Book of Legends, everything is ruined! No one gets their Happily Ever After!” Apple yelled and all the students present watched the fight warily. They didn’t know what to do. Dexter wanted to go to Raven but Daring was holding him back, wary that something may happen to him if he went over there.

“Selfish!? Is it really that selfish to NOT want to be evil!? To not want to be put into the mirror realm with the Evil Queen!? I DON’T want to be like my mother! Why can’t you understand that!?” Raven shouted back turning to walk to the lake they were near. “Oh wait, I know. You’re too selfish thinking about your own Happily Ever After to care about anyone else.”

With that, Raven stalked over to the lake and went up to a small outcropping and sat down. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs and watched the lake. It was clear, allowing everyone to watch the Neverland Mermaids and their children swim around. They glanced up at her quite a few times as they swam. Once they stayed looking at her she looked around and found Apple standing behind her. Hiding among the trees, Raven could just barely make out her sorta friend Blondie. “What do you want? I just want to be alone,” she asked standing up slowly to face Apple.

“I’m not done talking to you, Raven. You need to sign the Book of Legends. You’re destined to become the next Evil Queen. It’s just a matter of time. You know it,” Apple said cooly and Raven didn’t like the look in Apple’s eyes.

“Apple, how could you say that? You’re Snow’s daughter,” Raven said and Apple tilted her head with a sneer.

“It’s true though. Faybelle thinks only of herself. She’s the daughter of the Evil Fairy. She’s following her nature. You will too. But apparently, you need to make it difficult. Why can’t you just sign the damn book? Why can’t you let me have my Happily Ever After!?” Apple demanded stepping closer to Raven who looked at her shocked and scared.

“You don’t need an Evil Queen or a damn book to give you your Happily Ever After, Apple! Why do you want to follow that anyways!? Briar would never see any of us again. She’d sleep for 100 years with her family and staff. She’d have to make new friends. Marry a man she doesn’t even know. Do you truly want that for your friend!?” Raven demanded and Apple looked shocked at that.

“She’d get her Happily Ever After. I don’t see the problem with it,” she answered back coldly and Raven gasped.

“That’s a horrible thing to say. The other Royal’s even understand Briar’s worry about it. How could you not!?”

“How can you keep thinking about yourself!? Principal Grimm has said that terrible things can happen to everyone if you don’t sign the Book of Legends!” Apple shouted angrily before pushing Raven harshly. Raven gasped as she stumbled back towards the edge. She could only scream as her foot missed the edge and she fell down into the water below. Nearby shouts could be heard and Apple turned to watch as they ran to the edge’s of the lake and watched as the mermaids pulled a struggling Raven down.

“Raven!” Dexter shouted giving his glasses to Cedar before jumping into the water after her. Daring and Darling were quick to follow, knowing he’d need help getting Raven away from the deadly mermaids. Blondie snarled at Apple, glad she was doing the live stream. She heard rustling and Apple could only pale when she saw Milton and Giles behind her.

“You are in deep trouble, Miss White,” Milton said tersely.

“She’s not breathing!” Dexter shouted and Giles ran down while making sure they can get Raven to the hospital.

“I can’t even look at you, Apple. I don’t even know who you are anymore,” Blondie whispered before walking down to the others. She could only watch numbly as Giles took over CPR for Darling. Raven coughed out the water harshly but her eyes didn’t open. Soon, Raven was in the hospital with the Charming siblings, Giles, Blondie, and her parents the Good King and Evil Queen. Mira was seething when the doctor told them the news. Her husband did what he could to calm her, but nothing was working well.

Blondie went into the hall and held up her tablet to start the live stream to tell everyone when Dexter left the room in tears with his siblings walking him outside. Blondie only sighed when she held the tablet up and started the live stream. “Hello everyone. Blondie Locks reporting outside Raven Queen’s hospital room. The doctor has just informed us that Raven is in a coma. He nor his coworkers know if or when Raven will wake up. If you don’t know, earlier today, Apple White viciously attacked Raven Queen by pushing her into the Neverland Mermaid’s lake when she decided not to sign the Book of Legends. With permission from her parents and the hospital, I’ll be setting up a continuous live stream of Raven’s recovery. I’ll keep everyone up to date on any updates about Raven’s health,” Blondie said before ending the live stream and walking into the room once more to hear Raven’s parents arguing on a mirror pad. When she got closer she saw that it was Apple’s mom, Snow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(⋟_⋞)~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks.

Dexter could hardly believe it.

Two weeks and the doctors still don’t know how to wake Raven. The school has been abuzz with gossiping. Apple was exspelled from school and Daring told her he wanted nothing to do with her. People couldn’t believe Apple did that to sweet Raven.

They started calling her Evil White.

Evil White.

It fit her.

She changed.

Dexter could barely handle being in the same room as people talking about her. He stayed in Raven’s room primarily, accompanied by Daring or Darling, along with Maddie or Cerise. The others came by occasionally to give their well wishes.

But the most shocking thing?

Snow let Mira out of the mirror dimension.

Once Mira was out, she quickly took care of the book, making sure no one had to follow their destiny for their Happily Ever After. If they wanted it, they’d get it now. Except for Apple.

She wouldn’t get her Happily Ever After. No one wanted to be around her after what she did. After making sure she wouldn’t get her Happily Ever After, Mira willingly went back into the mirror dimension but made sure everyone knew that if she got out, she’ll be going after Apple.

Just thinking about it had Dexter sneering.

He shook his head free of all those thoughts and simply help Raven’s hand in both of his. Their combined hands rested against his chin as he looked at Raven sadly. He startled when Daring put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Want any water, Dex?” he asked and Dexter didn’t answer at first.

He shook his head after a bit but then hesitantly started nodding it. “Actually, some water sounds good,” he replied and Daring gave his shoulder a pat before leaving to get them both some water. Dexter just looked at Raven’s face briefly before looking at their hands. “I’m so sorry, Raven. You didn’t deserve this. You just wanted to be able to be yourself, to make your own choices. But Apple wouldn’t let you. I-I should have intervened. If I had, maybe-just maybe you wouldn’t be here. You’d be safe hanging with your best friends,” he said quietly and finally looked at Raven’s peaceful face once more. “You shouldn’t have to put anyone else’s happiness before your own,” he whispered so quietly that it was hard for he himself to hear. He then moved his hands closer to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to Raven’s fingers before setting her hand down onto her bed.

As he got up to head out, those beautiful purple eyes he adored opened. “D-dex?” Raven asked hoarsely and Dexter could only look shocked.

“Raven? You’re awake?” he asked softly shocked. Raven just looked shocked as she nodded slowly. They heard a clatter and turned to see Daring standing in the doorway shocked, two plastic cups on the ground with water all over.

“Doctor! Raven’s awake!” he yelled out and a doctor came running in with a nurse. It was safe to say that everyone was shocked to learn that Dexter’s kiss woke Raven up. Dexter was blushing when he explained what happened and held Raven’s hand. They shared a smile as the doctor did a check up and Daring sat down next to Dexter.

Ok so here it is!! I hope you enjoyed it!! And remember, the next two chaps are the same as this one just for different ships. Until next time!!!! -Love Willa<3<3<3

#fanfic #This Unusual Love #TUL #chap 1 #raven queen #dexter charming #apple white #blondie lockes #ever after high #eah #salt #apple salt #attacks #idk what else to tag

[nefertittythegreat]

So Let's Talk about Tim Drake being Robin again & Why Damian Wayne Should be Robin

Long story short its not a move I agree on mostly because its really a step back for Tim character development wise, not to mention the complete character assassination that Damian has gone through in order to put Tim back in the mantle.

Now, I understand why many people dislike Damian, but he has had some stunning character development over the past decade that has all pretty much felt like it was for nothing now that he's basically had Robin taken from him. Damian's attachment to the Robin legacy is different than the others, and this is why it’s still so important that he be Robin.

Dick created the mantle on a mission the most similar to Batman's, revenge on his Parent's unjust Murder. Its that reason why Dick has always seen the role as an equal Partnership then a Sidekick's gig. And after his parents murderer was dealt with, Dick funneled his energy into helping people, trying to ensure that no one has to endure what he and Bruce had to. Their missions are so similar that its almost poetic.

Jason was brought on after Dick outgrew his role as Bruce's partner, and was given the Robin legacy in hopes of replicating the success of Bruce's partnership with Dick to a disastrous end.

And Tim. Tim was different. Tim from the beginning was something special. A child who sought out Bruce to be Robin not because of some injustice done to him, not because the role was given to him, but because he knew that Gotham and even more Batman needed a Robin, and he was the only one who could step up and do it.

For Tim, being Robin especially in the beginning was only a temporary thing.

Most of that idea stems from insecurities about living not only in Batman's Shadows but Nightwing's as well. But for Tim, logically, he always knew that being Robin forever wasn't something in the cards for him, and like Dick he eventually outgrew Robin even if he himself didn't see it. (I mean after having not 1 but 2 dads die you'd be a little upset too if the spawn from hell uprooted you from your position in the family).

Stephanie filled the hole that Tim left during a time where he couldn't act as a vigilante any more. Eventually she was unceremoniously kicked out of the position having the shortest in-comic run time as Robin

And Damian, poor Damian, is arguably the one who needed the mantle most. And what I mean is that Damian needed to be Robin. Gotham didn't need him, Batman didn't need him. And for the first time since Dick, we had a child who needed the mantle of Robin for personal reasons and not just because of a drive to do good because, in the beginning Damian didn't have a drive to do good. He wasn't raised with that belief.

Surprisingly Damian's childhood(one that he is still in, mind you) is never really brought up when discussing the negative aspects of his character. He is horrible, but being raised in the League of Assassins will do that to you.

Damian was raised to believe that he was great because he was not only the grandson of Ra's al Ghul but even more so because he was the Son of Batman.

It also meant to him, Bruce's rejection of him hurt even more. He's Bruce's son, and there should be a certain amount Respect and responsibility attached to the that.

Bruce understands this and is actually very patient with Damian early on even if Tim doesn't understand, but because of the way Damian was raised the fact that Bruce didn't have a hand at raising the 10 year old he knowingly puts Damian back in an unhealthy environment essentially washing his hands of his own son, not once but Twice. Leaving Damian with Talia the woman who continues to put the young Damian in these environments. 

Talia's actions have colored Damian and Bruce's interactions from the very beginning and still do. Talia uses Damian to hurt Bruce and Bruce lets her do it.

As stated early after Damian's initial appearance he returns to his mother, to a hinted abusive environment with little to no action from Bruce and Damian still feels he can go to his father for help When Ra's is revived. Because at the end of the day Damian is a 10 year old boy craving a family, a family that sadly both his parents refuse to give him.

And after Talia is forced to give custody to Bruce, Bruce dies. Leaving Damian to be raised by his eldest adoptive son, man with which Damian feels is one of his rivals and Alfred these two people with whom Damian will eventually have his closest relationships with and its after these two are gone that he falls apart completely in Teen Titans Annual.

Bruce was gone before Damian could prove himself to his father. Something he that he doesn't realize he doesn’t have to do. Bruce already loves him because he is his son. But when you want something in the League of Assassins you have to prove your worth. 

With Damian everything has to be learned and unlearned. This is why he frequently used to attack the other Robins, be extremely disrespectful to the other members of the Batfamily, and just be cantankerous in general. It was a slow process to learn social behaviors that couldn't have been afforded with the League of Assassins. Other then disrespectful snarks Damian couldn't take a joke. He didn't know how to be a kid.

And this is why I say that Damian Wayne needed to be Robin. Dick hints at that being the reason for suddenly putting his legacy into Damian’s hands much to Tim’s chagrin. 

Damian’s childhood meant that normal rehabilitation for him l, A child killer was neigh Impossible, especially with his fixation on the Robin title which stems for him proving himself to his father. With his training being Robin was the only logical next step. The bring him down to earth and let him learn to help people to do good. 

And As Robin, Damian makes leaps and Bounds. 

He forms good healthy relationships with the people around him. Gains hobbies and learns that he doesn’t have to be the killer he was raised to be. 

And this reason is why being Robin is so important to Damian’s character because being Robin helped Damian be a better person. 

#Damian Wayne #Robin #Batman #Batfamily #Batfamily meta #Dick Grayson #Nightwing #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Tim Drake #red robin #Stephanie Brown #Batgirl #Spoiler #Damian wayne should be Robin #Like don't @ me #Bruce Wayne #talia al ghul #Batfam

[humanperryfic]

Nobody Needs to Know

Lord, show me how to say no to this...

Their relationship isn't exactly OWCA approved, but Perry doesn't want to stop.

Based on Say No to This from Hamilton

AO3/FF.Net

TW’s: None

Perry yawns. The cold, grey light of dawn seeps in around the edges of the curtains, yet he hasn't slept a wink all night.

And that's only partly the fault of the man sleeping peacefully next to him.

Actually, it's entirely the fault of this man. This glorious man, the one who drew him in with his sharp wits and marvelous inventions. Who took every punch and kick, then cursed him without malicious intent. The man that he fell for, head over heels. The man he just can't say no to.

So no, he hasn't slept. Instead, he's been mulling things over and over in his mind. How he's going to explain this one to Linda- swamped with work only works for so long. How he's going to lie about his whereabouts to Monogram.

How their relationship can't continue, not like this.

If this was a normal relationship, one where he met the other in a coffee shop or at a concert, he wouldn't have any qualms about breaking it off. (Actually, if this was a normal relationship, he wouldn't need to hide.)

But this is no ordinary relationship. They're nemeses. Friends. Lovers. He has feelings that refuse to go away, feelings he can't just ignore, despite the cloud of consequences hanging over his head.

All because he couldn't fucking push Heinz away. Couldn't just take one quick, messy kiss and call it good. No, he had to fall face first into what's both the best and worst decision of his life.

Best because, well, he's in a wonderful relationship with his nemesis. One that he hates to even consider breaking off.

Worst because if he gets caught, he's fucked. And not in the good way, the way he's enjoyed with his nemesis for the past month.

No, there will be consequences. Consequences that make him truly consider squandering their relationship.

Because there are always consequences. Something like this is beyond an easily explained-away one night stand. It went beyond that as soon as Perry kissed back.

Demotion and relocation is the lightest punishment he could possibly hope for. At it's worst, he'd be earning forty years of jail time in OWCA-traz, no parole, for aiding and abetting evil. Most likely, he'll be forced to relocate, strung along, then fired a few months later over something petty.

He's watched it happen. He's seen agents slip up and disappear. Agents more careful than he.

Of course, he wouldn't have to do this if Dennis (Agent Bunny, which makes Perry glad he got a mature codename) hadn't gone rogue. The reason? He fell in love with his nemesis and realized that Evil was better.

One agent gone rogue, working with his nemesis, inspired by a relationship not unlike the one he shares with Heinz. After that, OWCA clamped down on every single agent-nemesis relationship, romantic or no.

One agent ruined his chances to ever enjoy life.

Is it bad that he considers going rogue to get away from the consequences of this? The consequences of doing something completely unexpected of him. He's a dedicated agent, shot up through the ranks as soon as he graduated from the University Without a Cool Acronym. Something like this defies all expectations, and not in a good way.

He knows what he's expected to do. As the best agent in the Tri-State Area, he's expected to do certain things. Keep a nemesis, but still be able to go on other missions and save the world. Complete every shred of paperwork on time. Never question his loyalty, not like what he's doing right now.

He's also expected to marry another agent. A female agent. Have two point five prodigy agent kids and continue the legacy his parents left him.

The higher-ups aren't even subtle about it. They keep sending him on missions with the same woman, the best agent in the DC division. Agent Kaylee the Koala. They're both highly skilled agents, third or fourth generation OWCA. Born and raised to fight evil. (And their codenames are both Australian mammals. Major Monogram would get a kick out of that.) Honestly, it wouldn't be that bad. She's a good agent, he considers her a friend. He'd be able to get through it, if he could get over Heinz.

That's how he came into the Organization, anyway. His parents had met on a mission in Greece, married not much later. Then they died days before his third birthday. He went into OWCA's foster program for the agency's orphans, shuffled around from division to division. He'd lived in more countries by his fifteenth birthday than most people got to visit in a lifetime.

Once he graduated from the High School Without a Cool Acronym, he was shuffled into the host family program. Some attempt to give him people to come home to.

And it worked. He rents the attic space above the Flynn-Fletcher home. Their family accepted him into their arms. He practically considers Phineas, Ferb, and Candace his own niblings. They even call him Uncle Perry.

Even though he can't tell them anything about his work life, they're still family.

But some part of him still aches for his own family.

It's a choice he has to make. A family he could build from scratch, with a fellow agent. A family that he could be almost true with. Or a family he came into far too late. Even though part of him considers Vanessa and Norm his own children. Norm calls him Dad, for god's sake. A family he could tell the truth to, but not about.

There's a right answer for both sides of him. The side that follows rules longs to take the easy way out, to break everything off and never look back. To say no to this. To request a transfer to DC, keep in touch with Lawrence and Linda and the kids, marry Agent Koala and have children, even if he'll never be truly happy.

The side of him that craves adventure and adrenaline, the emotional side of him says no. It says to stay here, in this bed, in this division, in this town. To throw away everything else for his emotions. To break the chains, to love his nemesis with all his heart. Like he already does, if he's being honest.

He hates to be the one to break the cycle. To be the one surely disappointing his parents. (Although it's not like they would know...He feels horrible for even thinking that.) But he's in love with his nemesis. The feelings run far too deep. It's something that keeps him from ever having a normal life.

Normal for an OWCA agent, anyway. He gave up any semblance of normal life the instant he was born.

And he gave up on having a normal agent life the instant he decided to hang back after a scheme.

They had been cleaning up an exploded -inator. It had been slow going, but they finally finished cleaning up Doofenshmirtz's lab. They took a few steps to admire their handiwork when suddenly, Doofenshmirtz had pulled him in by his tie, sloppily pressing their lips together in a rough approximation of a kiss. Perry had been shocked at first (since when did Doofenshmirtz reciprocate his feelings?), but had quickly accepted the simple truth that Heinz spelled out.

He barely had his wits about him, but he still managed to push the other man away. If OWCA saw, he'd be done for.

But his instincts and desires overwhelmed him. He just couldn't say no, couldn't find it in him to go. It would have been so easy, just sign a fast apology, jump off the balcony, and glide away.

He's never been one to take the easy way out. Never has been. He turned away from the cameras, deactivated them in a way that would look accidental.

Making deliberate eye contact with a hurt Heinz, he tossed his hat away from him, not even bothering to watch where it flew. (Damn if that isn't the perfect metaphor for everything he's done since then, huh?) He pulled Heinz down by the lapels of his lab coat and crashed them together in a hungry kiss. It barely took a moment until Heinz had reciprocated in kind. Long fingers carded through his hair, a bite stung against his bottom lip, his own hands sneaking below the hem of Heinz's sweater.

Things only escalated from there. They spent the night in a whirlwind of guilt and pleasure. There were hundreds of opportunities to leave, to push Heinz away and go, but he didn't take a single one. And Heinz would understand. He would be hurt, but he would understand.

But he didn't say no.

Laying in Heinz's bed that night, breathing hard and barely able to process what happened, he promised himself never again.

It was only supposed to be once. One time. One night.

Shame burned in his gut as he had kissed Heinz goodbye (god, he just couldn't stop) and flew home. The shame only intensified when the Major demanded to know why Heinz had kissed him.

His stomach in knots, he signed that it was a misunderstanding, lying that of course he didn't want it. It took every part of his self control to keep his hands from shaking.

He's used to lying. Lying to Linda and Lawrence and the kids about his job. Lying to Heinz about his personal life. Lying to himself, telling himself that he's going to stop. But this feels different. Like he's lighting the fuse on dynamite beneath his feet.

To a certain extent, every lie feels like it's a house of cards just waiting to tumble down. Some do, ending in relocation at best. Some get rebuilt, like the mishaps with the second dimension.

This lie feels even more precarious, like the cards are made of glass. Glass that will cut him on the way down. Glass that will shatter and never be able to be repaired, not in the same way, not ever again.

Intellectually, he knows that every lie has a time limit. He's honestly floored at how his house of cards hasn't fallen, hasn't toppled and taken everything he knows with it. Every secret escapes, even the best-kept ones.

A part of him still loves it. Loves the thrill and the excitement. Craves the nerves that still bubble in his stomach every time he and Heinz fall into bed together.

It was only supposed to be once.

But it wasn't just once. He's practically become addicted to the way Heinz kisses him, soft yet still desperate. The way they understand each other, understand the constant internal conflict over good and evil. He can't get enough of the way they slot together, physically and emotionally. Stoic and emotional. Quiet and constantly talking.

How can something supposed to be so wrong feel so right? How can he say no to this? He can't stop, and part of him never wants to.

He shouldn't feel like this, but he does.

Perry lays back down in Doofenshmirtz's bed, burying his face in the shoulder of the man himself. He wraps his arm around Heinz's thin body, and holds him tight.

It's their secret. Some day, it will escape. But right now, nobody needs to know.

#sam's fic #perryshmirtz #human perry the platypus #perry the platypus #perry the human #human perry #doofenshmirtz #doctor doofenshmirtz #heinz doofenshmirtz #owca #pnf #phineas and ferb #fic #my fic #secret relationship

[euphoniumpets]

Nothing is left to say | (3/?)

Prompt: ‘’Everybody is afraid of something, and she will become their fear who they cannot control.’’

Authors Note: Another chapter is out!! Send in an ask of what you think of this series so far! Dylan Sprouse is Elijah Jenkins. also, so sorry for the late update, school as been kicking my butt and this will be a slow burn for diego x reader! 

Warnings: may come up some disturbing scenes in the future chapters such as child abuse, manipulation etc.

Tag list:  @losers-club6 @frantasmic   @guineverebeckilicious  @emma-is-a-nerd  @white-wolf-buckaroo  @irenne-stans​

As you walked towards the yard, cold was greeting you as you shivered a little as the rain poured slightly on top on the black umbrella in your hand. As you letting out a sigh you heard Allison’s soft voice behind you.

‘‘Hey, you’re alright?’‘ Turning your head towards her with a smile. ‘‘As long as I can be,’‘ You replied softly as she nods in understanding. Luther followed shortly after as Allison walked past by you with the urn pressed protectivly into his chest.

‘‘Are we ready to start?’‘ He questioned as you stood in a circle. ‘‘Did something happen?’‘ You heard your mom’s voice as you turned your gaze towards her. A sympathetic expression filled your face when you saw the robotic woman watches you all in confusion.

‘‘Dad died...remember?’‘ Allison asked her slowly. 

‘‘Oh...yes, of course,’‘ You noticed the strange voice from her when she replied. ‘’Is mom okay?’’ You asked them softly with concern. ‘‘Yeah, yeah, she’s fine, she just needs to you know, recharge,’‘ You heard Diego reply as you looked at him uncomfortably.

‘‘Oh,’‘

‘‘Whenever you’re ready, dear boy,’‘ Pogo replied after a long silence. Luther took a deep breath before he begun his speech. You watched him when he pulled off the top of the designed urn.

He flipped the vase over as you watched in disgust when your father’s ashes falling out on the ground. 

‘‘Probably would have been better with some wind...’’ You heard Luther mumble. 

‘‘Does anybody wish to speak?’‘ Pogo asked everyone as he tried to cover the situation. He noticed that nobody wanted to speak as he cleared his throat.

‘‘Very well, In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made what I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master, and my friend, and I shall miss him very much,’’   

During Pogo’s speech, you couldn’t help but wander back towards Diego’s sentence. 

Did he really did that to you? So that you wouldn’t feel lost or empty. He was really then a horrible father figure. 

‘‘He leaves behind a complicated legacy-’‘

‘‘He was a monster,’‘ Diego interrupted Pogo as everybody looked towards him. You still looked towards your father’s ashes with no emotion as Klaus left out a chuckle.

‘‘He was a bad person and a worse father, the world’s better off without him,’‘ Diego continued.

‘‘Diego,’‘ Allison warned him.

‘‘My name is number two!’‘ He snapped towards her. ‘‘You know why? Because our father couldn’t be bothered to give us actual names. He had mom to do it,’‘ He sneered as Grace lifted her head up towards her name. 

You watched her confused gaze as a sweet sickeningly smile graces over her red lips. ‘’Would anyone like something to eat?’’

‘‘No, it’s alright mom, you don’t have to do that,’‘ Vanya replied softly.

‘‘Look, you wanna pay your respects? Go ahead, but at least be honest about the kind of man he was,’‘ 

‘‘You should be stop talking now,’‘ Luther demanded as he clenched his fists. 

‘‘You know, you of all people should be on my side here, number one,’‘ Diego replied as he turned his gaze towards him. 

‘‘I am warning you,’‘

‘‘After everything he did to you?’‘ Diego questioned him as he took a dangerous step closer to him. You pursed your lips as you watched them nervously. You knew Diego’s temper. And something bad could happen if someone didn’t stop him. 

‘‘He had to ship you a million miles away-’‘

‘‘Diego, stop talking-’‘

‘‘- That’s how much he couldn’t stand the sight of you!’‘ Diego responded as he pointed towards him. In a blink of an eye the two humans were on each others throats.

 ‘‘Boys, stop this at once!’‘ Pogo’s tired pleas as you felt the tug on your sweater, you turned around confused when you saw Klaus holwind slightly on you and Five, dragging you two like an overprotective mother.

You rolled your eyes as you swatted his hand away.

‘‘Come on, big boy,’‘ Diego taunted him.

‘‘Stop it!’‘ You heard Vanya’s cries. 

‘‘Hit him! Hit him!’‘ Klaus yells through his cigarette in his mouth. You rolled your eyes as you nudged him by the welbow, giving him a warning as you looked back towards Diego. 

‘‘We don’t have time for this,’‘ Five groans as he stood up and left. Diego rolls out of the way as he avoideed Luther’s swings as it landed directly towards Ben’s statue. 

‘‘And there goes Ben’s statue,’‘ Allison commented as she sighed before she went back inside. 

‘‘Diego, no!’‘ You turned your head when you saw Diego holding a knife. Before everyone else could react, he threw the blade towards Luther as it cut his skin and everybody falls silent. 

You watched Luther walks away with his hand clutch onto his arm. ‘’You never know when to stop, do you?’’ You heard Vanya question him. 

‘‘You got enough material for your sequel, yet?’‘ He chuckled bitterly. 

‘‘He was my father too...’‘ Vanya replied softly as she left. You stood outside with the umbrella in your hand as the only thing you could heard was the pouring rain. 

You looked towards him with a dissapointed expression on your head before you shook it and followed after Vanya. Diego soon followed shortly as Klaus was the only one left. 

-

You heard a slight knock on your door as you turned around as you saw Vanya. ‘’Hey, you’re ready?’’ She asked you as you nodded. 

‘‘Yeah,’‘ You followed after her before you took a final look on your childhood room before walking downstairs. You saw Pogo approaching the two of you. 

‘‘Hey, we were just leaving,’‘ She replied as Pogo looked between of you. 

‘‘You’re leaving so soon?’‘ He questioned you as you smiled. 

‘‘Yeah, I only got one day off from work tomorrow’s shift,’‘ You responded him as you watched Pogo give you two a sympathetic smile. 

‘‘Of course, I understand,’‘ With that, you two said your goodbyes and left the mansion. 

-

you were glad that you left the childhood mansion that you used to live in. but you weren’t happy over how that you needed to work in a twenty-four hour shift in the hospital. you had enough of family drama and here you were, in your work place and ate a late dinner before you did your last assignment before going home. 

you didn’t had many friends or wasn’t friendly with most of your co-workers. you were too shy sometimes and wasn’t  outspoken. you liked being alone. Letting out a satisfaction sigh, you started to change your clothes and pack your belongings.

‘‘Hey, heading out already?’‘ Lilly asked when you walked through the counter. ‘‘Yeah, thank god, we see each other soon, yeah?’‘ you replied before you walked out of the hospital. 

-

you fiddeled with the keys when you opened the door with your shared apartment with vanya. when you walked inside, you heard vanya’s voice talking with someone. it tooka few minutes that she wasn’t alone. ‘’vanya?’’ you wondered when you opened the door wide. 

vanya turned around and you widened your eyes when you saw five. ‘’five? what are you doing here?’’ vanya glanced towards five with a nervous expression. ‘’close the door y/n, you probably needs to hear this too,’’ 

‘‘he climbed through the window,’‘ vanya answered your question. 

as you obeyed, you placed your bag on the floor and sat on the couch next to vanya. you were confused of what was going on.

‘‘not important,’‘ he quickly replied. ‘‘i’ve decided that you two are the only ones i trust,’‘ with furrowed brows you quickly asked him; ‘‘why us?’‘ 

‘‘because you two are ordinary,’‘ he retorted back simply. 

blinking, you noticed the blood that was coming from five. ‘’vanya, can you take the aid kit?’’ she nodded quickly before she left the room. 

‘‘you can tell us what’s on your mind while i take care of your wound, ok?’‘ you replied as you smiled gratefully towards vanya. you took the first aid kit as you helped five roll up his sleeve. 

he winces in pain and your eyes widened towards the wound. vanya let out a breath uncomfortable towards the sight. you asked for the disinfectant as you softly gentle wipe away the wound, cleaning off the drying blood as best as you can. 

‘‘when i jumped in the future - do you know what i found?’‘ he began to tell as you and vanya met his eyes.

‘‘what?’‘ vanya questioned him.

‘‘nothing,’‘ turning up, you looked at five with a concerned expression.

‘‘as far as i could tell, i was the last person left alive,’‘

‘‘i never figured what killed the human race but i did find something else... the date when it happens,’‘ 

‘‘the world ends in eight days and i have no idea how to stop it,’‘ 

#diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves x reader #The Umbrella Academy #five hargreeves #luther hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves

[musedblues]

Born To Love You [Part: 2]

summary: When Gwilym ropes you into a lie, the truth becomes painfully obvious. When Joe makes things harder, there's no telling if he even has a clue.

a/n: Lads. I can't possibly thank you lot enough all the lovely wonderful feedback. 💖 I hope you'll enjoy the second installment of all this drama! Please don't be afraid to keep sharing your thoughts, feelings, and/or predictions?! And if I forgot to tag you, or you'd like to be tagged, let me know!

w/c: 4k

Part 3

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"Oh my God." You chuckled, raking your eyes over Gwilym's figure. He was dressed in ivory clogs, velvet bell-bottoms, a silk button-up, and a wig of black curls. You couldn't help but giggle.

"What, does it look bad?"

"No, no... not bad!" You eased, laughing still. "Just... so not you!" You nodded his way. Olive clung to your side, trying to figure out if the man standing before you was really her father. He really did look like Brian May, didn't he?

"Well, that is the goal," Gwilym waved you to follow close behind, the sound of his clogs heavy against the concrete floor. He rested his palm on the small of your back, then. The way he did when guiding you through big crowds or supermarkets anytime Olive was in your clutch. So it felt normal. But you all too suddenly realized the act was officially starting.

Ben was walking toward the trailers too, shrugging on a dapper camel leather coat when he noticed you.

"Well, Hello! Is the famous Mrs. Lee really gracing us with her presence on our set, today?" The striking blonde flashed a brilliant smile your way as he stepped in time with your fake husband.

So now, not only were you going by a name that wasn't yours at all, but you were famous for it? You realized then that if you wanted to change your mind, to confess, it was already too late. There was no time to heave a sigh, you were already playing along...

"Hello, Ben. Nice wig." You rose your brows, noticing the strands of blonde around his pretty face. Long hair suited him.

"That's not fair!" Gwilym chuckled. You let out a playful wince because no matter how hard you tried to take Gwilym seriously with a 70's perm, you couldn't.

"It's the clogs, mate." Ben joined forces with you, giving you a sly smirk. You just had to snicker once more, because Gwilym looked like a completely different person.

"I'm to meet Anita tomorrow, you know?" Gwilym fretted in a high pitch.

"Aye, then don't wear the clogs." Ben countered.

Even Olive giggled like she was in on the joke. Gwilym scrunched his nose in her direction as everyone went on poking fun at him.

After last night, neither of you addressed his slip up, or your decision to stoop to his level. You simply went on with some kind of unspoken understanding that if anyone asked, you'd give the same false answers about your relationship status, every time. That had never been true to this degree. Till now you'd given varied answers, revolving around the truth of your relationship. Now, you were flat out lying. Now you were pretending to be married.

So, you'd been nervous, prepared for some kind of overblown press conference where this new group of friends would dig for details about your life as a couple. But you hadn't seen many of them yet, and the ones you had were busy anyway, lost in their own roles.

You spent a while patiently lingering in Gwils trailer while he was called to set, hoping your time here would remain just as easy going as it had been. When he came back for a costume change, you left the space to Gwil, and let Olive wander around behind the scenes, meandering slowly by her side as she stumbled every few steps or so. And like she knew where she was off to all along, the girl led you right toward some of her father's castmates, who were mucking about on a makeshift stage.

Joe was doing some dance that had Ben doubled over with laughter. It was the first time you saw his perm in all its wonder as he jumped from a platform, noticing you. He was already smiling at the way he'd made Ben laugh, but his grin reached his eyes, crinkling a little when your gazes met. When you smiled back, unabashedly, you realized that you were treading very dangerous waters.

You'd been so blindsided by Gwilym's blunder that you'd nearly forgotten just how dazzling Joe's presence was.

Don't look right at him. There's nothing to worry about. You told yourself. He was just apart of the cast.

"Hello, ladies." Joe mused, sauntering toward you as Ben shook off his laughter and followed close behind. Olive reached out to Joe, and attempted to say his name after you greeted him kindly. You'd spent the morning listening to her practice the words she'd already perfected, and hoped a new one would stick out among the few others.

You scoped Olive up out of the way as both actors stopped before you.

"No, no, say Ben! Like before!" Ben coaxed your child to like him the best. She almost had said his name the night before. Now, Olive listened to Ben's plea with a bashful grin, and then shook her head, deciding against obliging the blonde.

"Joe!" Olive leaned away from you, pointing to the actor whose name she spoke clear as a bell.

"Oh my God! Yes! That's me!" Joe laughed, giving Ben a playful jab to really establish his excitement.

"Joe." Olive giggled at these antics and said his name perfectly a second time.

"She'll never stop now." You laugh in realization. You and Gwil called them 'words of the day.' She only knew about four others, but once she'd gotten one just right, she'd say it for hours on end.

"And here I've worked so hard to be your favorite." Ben shook his head at Olive, who looked at him but was still giggling and pointing to Joe. She'd clearly taken a sudden liking to him. Maybe it was his perm, you thought. Joe continued to dance around victoriously until the boy's names were called by some PA. You took the moment to rush back to Gwilym's trailer, but couldn't help and glance over your shoulder to catch one last glimpse of Joe as he frolicked the opposite direction. As he danced away, you noticed Joe looking behind too; casting a small wave you missed as you whipped your head back around and hurried away a little faster.

///

Brian May seemed more like a cheery grandfather, than the musical legend you'd known him to be through screens over the years. It was hard for you to understand that the rosy-cheeked, white-haired man with a kind smile was responsible for some of rock and rolls most iconic sounds. He was standing before you with long arms outstretched, and you'd be a fool not to embrace Brian for all it was worth.

You saved fawning over his legacy in exchange for expressing your excitement that this opportunity gave Gwilym. Your fake husband was on cloud nine at the mention of Bohemian Rhapsody, and stepping onto the set with him another morning in a row was like watching the sunrise.

The next time you saw him, he was clad in the silly black wig and a shining silver button up. Olive was still unsure how to handle seeing her father all dolled up, but she released her death grip on you as Gwilym spoke to the baby in a familiar way. He shook some of the curls out of his eyes and that scored a giggle from Olive; you practically breathed a sigh of relief. It was then, as you were successfully functioning as co-parents, that Brian May brought his lovely wife Anita into the room.

You weren't sure what Gwyilm had told Brian, but even if he'd never mentioned you at all, you knew how this scene looked. You'd seen the faces of strangers in passing as they watched you and Gwilym minding your own business, pushing a strolling through the park. Brian May and his lovely wife were looking at you and Gwilym like that now, albeit, Anita was seeing Gwilym as the younger version of her husband for the first time.

For a moment it was all gasped laughter and starry-eyed stares as Brian snapped photos of his beloved with his clone. Gwilym was a pro at bantering with the lady, almost as if his nerves leading up to this moment never existed at all. Anita spent a moment smiling at Olive in your arms, making your baby smile.

Gwilym took her from you, walking toward the craft table when Joe called his name. The sound of the man's voice caught your attention all the same. Against your better judgment, you stared past everyone and glued your eyes to the actor whose auburn curls were hidden below a giant hooded coat.

"Oh, you lucky girl. What more could you ask for?" Anita gushed. It was then you tore your gaze from Joe and watched Olive pull at a couple of Gwilym faux curls. It was a sweet sight, but Anita's pure swooning made your heart sink.

Between Gwilym and Olive, you were the picture of perfection. You appeared to have everything you'd ever wanted, but you had your sights on someone you'd never have a shot with in a million years. And for what? Just because he was so damn pretty? A pang of terrible, horrible guilt seeped into your being as you watch Brian approach Gwilym with some joke. You had everything you'd ever wanted. A whole family. How could you possibly think you deserved someone else, someone all your own? You were lucky enough as it were.

When Gwil scampered onto set, leaving you and Olive in the craft service area to mingle with the leftover stagehands, you took a deep breath and watched him walk away. You realized that even if your heart didn't hammer for the father of your child, he was always there when you needed him. And Gwilym obviously wanted you around all the same. You realized that you didn't have to be in love with him to be happy to have him.

Then and there, you decided that you were going to give this whole fake marriage deal your most real shot.

///

You traveled back to the home you'd made of your Airbnb around lunchtime, taking the long way to enjoy a pocket park you spotted a day ago. While you pushed Olive in a swing, your thoughts about your current situation kept wandering further away from logical sense as you tried to understand them.

You spent the rest of the afternoon reading books to your daughter and kicking yourself for sulking over selfish desires.

Gwilym finally arrived back long after bedtime, apologizing in a whisper when the commotion of his arrival stirred you from sleep. He looked well exhausted, rubbing a spot on the back of his neck with a wince as he kicked his shoes off.

"Come here, sit." You patted the edge of the queen-sized bed as Gwylim monitored your body language. He was a bit hesitant but because of the assured look in your eyes, he felt comfortable enough to follow your directions.

"Take that jacket off." You suggested. You'd done this once, but the circumstances were different. If Gwilym was put off now, you couldn't tell as he rid himself of a layer, only a thin white shirt between you and his tense muscles. You placed either hand on either of his shoulders and that was a green enough light for Gwilym to start talking.

He told you about his unusually long day and the little things that kept going wrong. You massaged his broad shoulders the best you could and felt his body relax under your touch.

You listened to his rambles of annoyance and exhaustion. The castmates he'd made fast friends of seemed to be beacons of bright white light over the long evening of work.

"Rami is just electric. It's impossible to feel poorly in his presence- I mean the guy just has this way about him." Gwilym laughed, humming in pleasure when your fingers dug into just the right spot of his back.

"Lucy is one lucky gal. They're a perfect match." You mentioned, slowing your massage when your fingers started to ache. Gwil went on after agreeing to your comment...

"And Ben is just so easy going. It's like, if he's doing alright then I should be doing alright." You agreed and admitted how you'd already felt close to Ben. Gwilym admitted to feeling the same when they'd first met, then he kept going... "And then there's Joe. He's just... Hey! He told me Olive said his name, today." Gwilym turned to you with a proud grin. "Why hadn't you mention that?"

Because, you'd promised yourself you wouldn't keep thinking of Joe, in order to avoid the way your palms grew sweaty when you did. So you'd forgotten to mention the incident, knowing if you spoke Joe's name it would probably come out through an embarrassing saccharine sigh.

Now, you just gave Gwil a nervous hum as you slipped your hands away from his shoulders. He kept a studying gaze set on you while you moved away, hoping he couldn't read your expression.

But Gwil knew that look. He'd only seen you pull that face a couple of times, during rom-coms you watched together, and once at a wedding he dragged you along to. And then, like some kind of psychic vision, Gwilym realized, that was the expression pressed among your features when you'd met Joe. When Gwilym was too busy sneaking up to steal his friend's hat to register your longing gaze, then. But everything seemed clear now...

"You like him." Gwil let out a bright laugh, like a kid at a slumber party who was way more excited to play truth or dare than anyone else.

There was no use lying to Gwil, he was the only one who'd been in on the whole truth, anyway. Complicating things by denying what he'd found out was pointless.

But there was also no point in having a conversation about it, like you could tell Gwilym wanted to. There wasn't anything to discuss.

"Go get cleaned up and get some sleep, Gwil." You spoke quietly, turning away from him completely.

He kept a watchful eye on you for a beat, before slowly floating toward the bathroom. And when he was alone with this new realization, Gwyilm felt a pang of regret for being so selfish. Who was he to hold you captive here in this rented flat? To call you someone you weren't? Why was his pride a priority? Why didn't you care about your own wants and desires? He hoped you realized you could call this thing off anytime you wanted...

As you turned off the bedside lamp your mind kept racing. Had you ever even been in love? How did you know what you wanted? Through the fog of your scattered thoughts, came a clear vision of the man you ran into a few nights ago.

You thought of Joe and the way he looked at you, how his glance said just as much as his carefully chosen words, when you met.

Why did Joe feel so compelled to greet you with such a loaded statement? Could he have possibly felt the same buzz in his chest as you felt when your eyes met? Did it even matter?

///

"We have a guest!" Gwilym called as he pushed past the front door.

You sat up a little from your slump on the floor where you'd been sorting through playing blocks that your daughter wasn't even paying attention to anymore.

You shouldn't have been surprised to see Joe walk in behind Gwil, both men laughing at something as they entered the room. Of course, you were expecting one of the cast- but, you still hadn't managed to quell the silly little feelings that fluttered in your chest for Joe.

"What a lovely surprise." You smiled, because it was still true that you were glad to see the guy. It had been a couple of days.

"Everyone went their separate ways today, I thought Joseph might enjoy some company outside of the studio."

Gwil reached for his friend's shoulder as you stood to your feet to meet them. It was a nice gesture. Rami had Lucy, and Ben had his family in the city. Even Gwil had someone to end each day with. Joe must have felt lonely, here on his own. And you hated to think he might have been.

"Well, you're just in time to fight over what's for lunch." You chuckled, gazing at Joe. It took all of your focus not to bask in the sparkle beaming from his deep colored eyes.

Gwilym went on saying apologizing for still not having gone grocery shopping, hating the thought of dining out again, but listed off all the best restaurants in the area.

Then, with a look that let you know he knew exactly what he was doing, Gwilym took Olive into the other room for a change, leaving you and Joe alone.

"I bet it's nice to have an early day off. I hear the shoots are getting more intense." You started in on a polite conversation, all while putting a few toys back where they belonged so you wouldn't have to look right at Joe.

It was easier when Gwil and Olive were around, they were your barrier. Now, you had to keep total control of letting your feelings show, without anything to project them toward.

Joe seemed none the wiser, leaning against the door frame of the small balcony, glancing out of the glass doors to the trees that reached above the iron of the railing.

"Yeah, you could say that." He let out a breath of a laugh. "Telling this band's story, the emotions run high."

Your conversation floated on like that, quite seamlessly. Joe eased into rambles about acting that saved you from speaking up and making a fool of yourself. You listened fondly, and nearly let yourself stare at his mouth as it moved to speak. But that's when Gwil reappeared with Olive wobbling to catch up with him, as he boisterously asked who was ready for lunch. Your daughter raised her little arm, and everyone's focus shifted to how freaking sweet she was.

The next thing you knew, you wound up on the terrace of some hip bistro. You settled into a conversation as quickly as you ordered meals and proceeded to have a surprisingly good time.

Gwil persuaded Joe to do most of the talking. Joe was good at carrying on, but it wasn't an annoying drone. He spoke about things he had a clear passion for. And when he paused to ask your own opinions, you pushed for him to keep speaking, instead. You could have listened forever, and not just because it was easier that way. The sound of Joe's voice was like music to your ears, something about him you could enjoy without giving yourself away.

When Gwil left to get drinks at the bar. He asked what either of you wanted, and you said nothing, hoping he'd come back sooner that way.

You weren't just going to blurt out a confession to Joe, but you were so afraid of chipping your resolve. Letting your gaze lingering too long. Saying the wrong thing when no one else was around to hear.

Thankfully, Olive was occupying the space between the two of you. And the second Gwil left, the kid threw her head back with a sorry groan.

"He'll be back." You reminded, reaching over to cease her whines as she melted into a puddle in her highchair.

As you attempted to assure your babe that there was no reason to fuss so theatrically, Joe leaned over on the other side of the table disappearing for a beat and popping back into view with something in his grasp.

It was Olive's favorite toy bat. Joe handed the plastic animal to Olive who took it as she sniveled. Your daughter must have dropped the thing during lunch and you hadn't at all noticed. But Joe did.

"Jesus, thank you." You let out a small laugh.

Joe grinned, shooing away your thanks. But his attempts at saving the day were barely passable- Olive had almost disregarded the toy completely.

"She's probably due for a nap." You sighed in all honesty, explaining how the surprise trip out had disrupted that schedule. 

"Me too kid." Joe looked at Olive like they were on the same page.

"Joe." Olive perfectly and pathetically whimpered, reaching out to him. And without missing a beat, the guy reached back and let her fingers latch onto his. The sight of Olive holding Joe's hand would have melted your heart if it wasn't beating so fiercely.

"You don't have to- ya know," You began to give Joe a way out of his attempts to give into Olives demands of him, but he was already shaking his head before he cut you off.

"I don't mind. She's adorable." He chuckled warmly, watching Olive bring her favorite bat to her chest while her other hand stayed attached to Joe's.

And while your mind seemed to still and capture every little detail of the scene, he spoke up again.

"She looks a lot like you." As if that was a reason he was endeared to the baby.

And if the comment wasn't enough, his tone was all too reminiscent of when you'd run into meeting each other. You wondered if he'd meant any of what he said to you, that night.

Gwil floated back to the table with a drink for himself and his pal. You shot him a look, hoping he realized you were begging him never to abandon you with Joe ever again. Especially if he wanted this whole lie to work.

The alarm bells that whirred louder each second you'd been in left alone, faded when Joe started rambling to you and Gwil as a pair.

And then it was easy as ever, sharing stories, ideas, and laughs. Were you more yourself when Gwil was around or were you just better at hiding behind him? Whatever, you were having a good time.

In fact, Olive fell asleep in your lap while the three of you went on chatting for another hour or so.

When the afternoon was pushing into the evening, you decided to head home since the boys had another early day on set. And when Gwil walked ahead of everyone to fasten Olive in her car seat, your eye caught Joe's. His forest colored gaze on you was evocative of the first time you'd met. Maybe it was because Gwilym was so far ahead, and no one else was looking. Or maybe it was all in your head.

///

Gwilym dropped you at the Airbnb and left to drive Joe back to his. You settled in for the evening and went about your regular rountine; all while you wondered what kept Gwil so long.

He made it back as the night turned black, looking rather pleased with himself. If you had it your way; you would have gone to bed without speaking too directly. But as became the norm this week, Gwil was on another page, annoucing his way through the rented flat...

"So I've invited Joe on our next day off. I know we've been talking about going out for the day, I thought he'd like to tag along again." Gwil reported as he entered the room with a happy smile.

You knew Gwil's heart was in the right place. You knew he was only attempting to be a good friend. But you also knew Gwil knew of your feelings perfectly well, how they could threaten to turn this whole pretend game upside down. And he hadn't even asked you before he'd invited Joe dangerously close, again.

"Well alright." You grinned through a confused sigh, entirely busy rocking Olive to sleep to get too upset.

Gwil knew you were though. And he hadn't expected you to be.

"What's the matter? I thought you liked Joe." Gwilym wondered as he collected his bedclothes. Surely you'd be glad for the excuse to hang around the guy, right? That was the whole reason he invited him over today in the first place...

"That is the matter." You laughed, feeling defeated and defensive all at once.

If Gwil was so insistent on bringing his newfound friend around, you were going to really need to hone in on your connection to your fake husband. You were going to have to make it seem like you had with Gwil, what everyone really believed came naturally. And you were going to have to act like something spectacular didn't occur when Joe turned his attention to you.

And that sucked.

You shushed Gwilym for carrying on the conversation as Olive started to fall asleep. He left for the bathroom with a strange look on his face, like he was trying to solve an impossible equation.

Gwilym was in the shower, and your daughter was silent in her cot, and you couldn't stop thinking of Joe. It made you sick. The harder you tried to shake his image from your brain, the brighter it became. You shuffled into the kitchen for a glass of cold water but only ended up staring at the wall.

Gwilym found you there, in the middle of the kitchen, fixated on nothing. He spoke your name to grab your attention and shuffled cautiously to find out what your deal was.

"Andy said something to me once," You spoke up in the quiet. "After I had a real shite first date. I excepted the night to be magical. But it was shite. And Andy said, 'What if your love takes time? What if you fall for someone so slowly you don't even realize, till your eighty and sharing a house by the sea?'"

You waved your hands around, trying to connect dots with a tethered, imaginary string. It was a long shot. But you had to take it.

"Y/N, what are you saying?" Gwilym cautioned, pressing the heels of his hands down on the counter behind him as he calmly tried to rationalize your blabbering in the dark.

"I think you should kiss me." You looked toward Gwilym as an imaginary lightbulb flickered above your head. "Maybe... maybe we have what we didn't think we did before this whole thing started. And we won't know till we kiss. Until we try again."

You stood as if to challenge Gwil, and he was looking at you like he'd already watched this whole scene play out and was waiting for you to catch up. But you didn't dare blink until he did.

"Gwil... please. Just once." You practically begged, like a kid.

"Will that seriously make you feel better about this?" Gwil's face subtly twisted into concern, but he was moving toward the middle of the room, toward you.

You nodded quickly, looking up to Gwil as he stood to face you. You zeroed in on Gwilym's ocean colored eyes, searching for something you'd seen the likes of in there, before. Right when a familiar sheen flooded his gaze, Gwilym closed the gap. He cupped your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours.

Gwilym proceeded to kiss you like a Disney prince trying to wake up a damsel. His soft lips melded against yours, and your mouths both opened like clockwork, like back when you used to practice this together. You rested your palms on Gwilym's broad shoulders as he kissed you breathlessly. When his movements slowed, your grip ever so slightly tightened on his shoulders, trying to hold onto the moment.

Gwil's lips moved away from yours, but he held your arms in place, like trying to steady you after a big fall. Your insides mimicked the plummet from great heights, but you were on both feet and there was a draft where something warmer should have burned.

"Was that... what you wanted?" Gwilym asked wearily. Because he really must have already known the answer. You kept your grip on his shoulder and leaned your head against his collarbone; the world's most pathetic hug.

"You're a damn good kisser." You sighed, but not longingly. You handed this statement out like a congratulatory honorable mention ribbon. There were no winners tonight. Gwilym slowly enclosed you in a real hug, smoothing back your hair and heaving his own sorry sigh. He brought either of his hands to the sides of your head and pressed one last lingering kiss to your forehead as a sadly bubbling frustration brewed inside you.

"Maybe... we better come clean, yeah?" Gwilym lightly suggested, rubbing your arms and looking to you as if nothing had just happened, as if nothing changed. It hadn't. "And then, maybe Joe-"

"No." You really couldn't let him finish that sentence. "No, Gwilym. You have to finish this movie without any drama. I'll just get over myself and by the time we leave for home I'll be fine, and no one will have any reason to believe otherwise."

"Y/n." Gwilym seemed to warn. His grip loosely fell away from you as you started to leave the kitchen.

"Just come to bed, please." You gestured toward the quiet room. "We can't be normal, Gwil."

But you could go on pretending, like always. Because Gwilym was an actor. And you wanted what you saw in him badly enough to keep playing along.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

taglist: @sonic-volcano​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @redspecialty​ @itscale​ @stardust-killer-queen​ @joemazzelo​ @dancetohotspace​ @kiwi-hardy​ @joeneslee​ @borhapqueen92​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @johndeaconshands​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @beepbeephardy​ @slutforbritdick​ @joemazzmatazz​ @almightygwil​

#gwilym lee #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee fanfic #gwilym lee imagine #joe mazzello #joe mazzelo x reader #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello imagine