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#unfortunately i gotta stop for now but....
mysticheathenn · 2 days
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What Kind Of Love Do You Need?
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Hi, Hexlings!
This pick-a-card reading is a Patreon All Tiers reading about what kind of love do you need. This can be romantic, self-love, platonic, or even familial.
This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
Extended Patreon Includes:
How will this love change your life?
Extra Messages
MasterList
Patreon Link
Ko-Fi Donations
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Pile l:
What kind of love do you need? Tarot: The Lovers, Ace of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, 6 of Wands, Hanged Man, & Page of Swords.
Romantic. "I want a real love, dark-skinned and Aunt Viv love, [Redacted Part Of Song], That leave a toothbrush at your crib love, And you ain't gotta wonder whether that's your kid love"- J.Cole & Real Love by Mary J. Blige played in my head as I was shuffling pile l. You are in need of a healthy love. The kind of love where you both celebrate each other's wins and even losses, being each other's cheerleader, a shoulder to cry or lean on when life knocks you down, a love where there are no games just pure love, communication, and peace. There is a heavy sense of peace and fulfillment for you, with the kind of love you need. You probably have dated people who wanted nothing but to waste your time, and energy, or even unfortunately use you. You are now working on yourself and if you aren't I feel a glow-up is coming soon where you do work on yourself to help manifest this kind of love into your life because you want a partnership. A true soulmate that was ordained by stars (God, Allah, etc) themselves. There will be no confusion with this kind of love. I'm hearing Greenday- Broken Boulevard but only the part of " I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone" I feel for some of you those who aren't working on themselves yet you have some ways to go before this kind of love comes into your life. You may still be hurting from your previous relationship or if not still hurting you're in the energy of "Everybody ain't shit and you're better off alone." For others, it's not too far but it's also not going to show up tomorrow the window I am intuitively feeling is within the next two years. This is a long time coming for you pile l. I can feel it's something special. Patreon Post Link
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Pile ll:
What kind of love do you need? Tarot: 5 of Pentacles, The Fool, The Hierophant, Ace of Cups, Awakening.
Self-Love. Singleness. Adventure. You are in desperate need of some self-love pile ll. You have been on a wild ride when it comes to allowing others into your life whether platonic or romantic and it's time for you to go into hermit mode for a while. The Tiktok audi "Be by yourself, get to know yourself" which is said in an island accent is coming to mind. You need to figure out who you are pile ll. I feel you have some sort of sense of who you are but you aren't sure if this is actually you or the you that has been crafted by social media, others and their idea of you, or your survival mode you where you crafted parts of yourself and chose the "safe" is to show others who don't like to see your full light because it dims there. There is also a need to let go of some people in your life. I didn't ask Spirit who because if this part resonates you should know. It's typically the first two names that popped in your head when you read the sentence but it's time to let go of people who are not good for you or add any kind of value to your life. Not only getting rid of people but getting rid of the old you. It's time for you to walk into a new light where you are glowing, thriving, and enjoying life how it is meant to be enjoyed instead of barely getting by day by day. You were meant to shine and not follow what everyone else is doing. You were meant to be authentic pile ll. Figure out who you are. Do things you never thought you would never enjoy and do them. Learn some new skills and hobbies. Take an Eat Pray Love trip even if it's just a trip to New York, Miami, Atlanta, Los Angeles, or even fucking Houston Texas if that is more your speed. Get out of your comfort zone. Shed your survival mode personality and shine. It's time for a new adventure. It's time to release this old story you keep playing over and over and start something fresh. What are you waiting for? Patreon Post Link
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Pile lll:
What kind of love do you need? Tarot: 5 of Cups, Queen of Swords, 10 of Wands, Knight of Wands, 3 of Pentacles.
Friendship.Self-Care. There is this feeling that you pile lll are the type that likes to do everything themselves without bothering anyone. You may also like to say sorry a lot even when you didn't do anything as well as just not tell people how you are really feeling going through your struggles alone. Please stop. If you have people around you who truly care about your well-being please do let them know how you really are doing. There is nothing worse than having a friend going through things in silence and later on axe themselves off (speaking from experience). You do not have to suffer in silence pile lll. There are people in this world who would or do care about you and your well-being and want to take the load off of your shoulders. Stop being the strong independent cap that social media keeps trying to feed people with the whole grind and stay silent. Stay silent when it comes to goals until they happen, not your well-being. For others of you the kind of love you need is self-care other than taking better care of yourself this is more so having to do with your skills, abilities, and even your career. Some of you want to do more in your career whether it's at the job you are currently at, in the same field, or wanting to do something differently and this is the time to do so. Start learning and sharpening up your skills. Even sharpening up your mind whether it's reading more books maybe by Robert Greene on Mastery or Art of Seduction, learning languages, or whatever it is that you want to do to sharpen your mind ow is the time to do so. Patreon Post Link
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Pile lV:
What kind of love do you need? Tarot: Ace of Swords, The Hermit, Awakening, Page of Cups, 3 of Cups
Singleness. Self Love. You may have been drawn to pile ll because they have received a similar reading to what your reading is about to hold on being by yourself, yours is just a little different. Pile ll reading was more so on finding themselves and getting to know themselves while your pile is more focused on loving yourself. Loving who you are and who you have become as a person because I feel a sense that it wasn't easy to become who you are today. You had to fight along the way to become the person you are because many people have probably tried to turn you hard, cold, assertive, or just overall mean and you had to fight to maintain a little bit of kindness, compassion, and some love you feel for others because you know that what others say and do to some people is not a reflection on you but them it's how you respond that is a reflection on you. This is a season of celebrating who you are and loving every inch of yourself. Whether you have body fat, a temper, watching weird shit, whatever it is that others try to put you down for and you somewhat have allowed to let those thoughts creep in this is your time to rebuke them and go forth in loving who you are and what you like. This is a time to go inward and really hone in the ability to not waver on what makes you you. Basically setting boundaries more so for yourself than for others while still remaining loving and kind to yourself. Your pile may also be a bit short like pile lll because it's quite straight to the point with no extra messages. The love you need is the love from yourself. Loving everything about you. Whether you hate your skin tone, voice, body, your interest, whatever it is embrace your flaws, embrace the many things people have been trying to put you down for, and let your beacon shine bright. You were meant to be who you are and nobody else. Don't let the ugliness of the world change who you are. Patreon Post Link
Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.
Stay Safe and Be Blessed
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astrologanize · 2 days
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◉ pick a card : how you can make the best of your 2024
*please take a moment to take a deep breath and choose the image you are !most! drawn towards*
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----------for pile 1 ⊹
there is a search for substance in your life, you want something real, something meaningful, and you're not doing anything to create it for yourself. you're secretly, or not so secretly, hoping and wishing and expecting for things to somehow fall into place one day. you keep yourself open to the universe, you keep yourself open to interpretation, and you are so open that you are structureless! how can the universe deliver whatever you're desiring when you don't know what that is? or even who you are!
unfortunately the key to it all isn't going to fall into your lap - you must sort through the emotional gunk that's residing within your inner tank and decipher what it is you want to be, what your values are, what matters to you, so that you can hand-pick the life that you want by having these standards in place. it's easier to take risks and to change your life once you have assurance in yourself and this can only happen when you know what you are vs what you aren't, what you like vs what you don't, etc.
gotta work hard to play hard too! "ugh i just want to travel and have a good time" okay but where are the funds coming from? do you know how to budget? do you know how to set up a trip? do you know how to procure the necessary steps in order to make the shit you want happen? to make the best of your 2024 you need to sort through your gunk and get choosier about your life; in doing so you're going to find your connections with others changing, you're going to understand where you've been lacking integrity, where you have been naive, what's worth adjusting for, what you need to attend to more, and once you have the framework built for yourself you're going to see how exciting life can be. no more waiting for life!
----------for pile 2 ⊹
so i see y'all like to throw everything at the wall until something sticks perchance...well, i mean, i guess you're trying at least? though that is better than doing nothing at all, how about you scale back and look at the big picture? you do all these things but where do they get you? i'm not seeing forward movement amongst all this movement i'm just seeing energy bouncing around in a box not going anywhere. perhaps all this stuff you do is to distract you from things you don't want to deal with. it's giving this meme
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crazily enough, it is often true that less really is more (though in today's society that sentiment is going extinct and needs to be revived). try to stop dabbling in everything - a jack of all trades is a master to none. what activities/hobbies would you like to be an expert at? is there a craft you could or would want to monetize? what is it that you're avoiding in your life with these multitudes of distractions? give yourself a breather so that you can see the big picture clearer. you'll come to understand the value in setting healthy boundaries for yourself, knowing when to extend and when to just relax. sometimes it is okay to hold off and hold back because maybe there is something that needs to be dealt with first, maybe more time is needed, maybe something is just not worth the effort for now
----------for pile 3 ⊹
looking at the image for this pile gave me such a heavy, wistful feeling. why do you insist on fighting the universe so bad, hm?
are you in a job that sucks? seek something better! are you in a relationship that feels like a chore? love yourself! lean elsewhere! are you majoring in something that makes you miserable? is it worth that? i'm seeing that you need to learn how to trust the universe and follow a new, less traveled path that may be daunting with its uncertainty but you never know what could happen...that is both the best and worst thing about life.
thus far you have been traveling down the same path, you are very involved with this life that you have been trying to make work but i don't know if it's working, do you?
i'm hearing "give yourself a try" by the 1975!
you're learning allllll about the possibilities of life this year and why you should not in fact settle for what you are too afraid to leave. your heart is yours to follow
----------for pile 4 ⊹
oh, y'all take things to heart in an unhealthy way and are perpetually dissatisfied as a result. i imagine someone who gets in their feels over something minor that someone said in passing and instead of asking for clarification or reasoning with themselves, they act all woe is me and curl up in their room with the misbelief that nothing and no one gets them.
emotions can be deeply felt and i wouldn't say feelings can be liars per se but feelings can mislead us if we read too much into them. plus, when we focus too heavily on our own feelings we become engrossed in them to the point of self-defeating self-absorption. you have got to learn how to take things less personally, your lesson for this year is to learn how to socialize...how to mingle...how to have acquaintances...how to have a conversation and drop it afterwards instead of reading into every little thing and finding what's wrong with it. learning how to be embrace the more positive qualities of aquarius basically.
you have some misguidings to work through, there is illusory amuck due to you making mountains out of molehills - the melodrama is doing nothing good for you i'm afraid, tumblr girlies do love some tragedy and a feeling-dump post but for now...let's free ourselves i beg. it's not that deep, it's not that serious, get a grip and let it go. get off the internet, limit social media, touch grass, find some people to converse with even if its small talk at a checkout, somethin, otherwise you can continue to wallow i guess.
----------for pile 5 ⊹
nah...this pile gave me such a bad headache because...you're....whew......there's some narcissistic tendencies here i'm afraid. even if you think you're an angel sweetheart birthed from mary the unicorn, i assure you that you can in fact be a nothing short of domineering. there is a diva energy, there is a my way or the highway energy, there is an i'm upset so everyone is going to know energy, there is some area in your life where you are a tyrant.
there is a dire need to learn to take a step back, gather yourself, and consider others before unleashing your control and bulldozing your way through situations. you shall be forced to learn how to chill tf out this year and i claim that for you tbh because giving me a headache from your energy is WILD.
you need to examine your connections and make sure you're being receptive towards others. do you feel like you're a true friend to them? do you think you're supportive? do you hear them out? do you know what they're going through? do you know how they feel? do you attend to them in the ways they want and need? do you know what those wants and needs are?
make sure you're not being demanding and setting unreasonable expectations, especially for others. also look within yourself and make sure you're not overcompensating for any insecurities you may possess by having power trips. care about being a friend this year, play the supporting role and balance yourself out
----------for pile 6 ⊹
you're going in circles in your head and your heart, babes. eventually you just gotta rip off the bandaid and make a decision and let the chips fall where they may.
you're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in your head, you have all these thoughts and ideas, you have all these feelings and sentiments, you have all these things in mind that you want to set up for yourself, and there's so much that you're overloading yourself....there's no way to process all of it at once so nothing is getting done.
make decisions, find answers, get a grip on your feelings, and try to make sure you're not so in your head that you're putting up a guard around yourself. not everything is black & white or a matter of life or death, you're looking at it too extremely! lighten up and just do.
get a cool haircut, get some new accessories, try new boba, talk to your crush, life is meant to be lived!
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mamawasatesttube · 7 months
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im SO eepy but someone remind me later there's ficlets in my askbox still that i wanna actually do. ideally this afternoon/evening i'll have some time to write, im really in the mood except for being soooooo sleepy. but eepiness aside i love kon did you guys know
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lez-exclude-men · 1 year
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Where's that post that's like "doctors aren't like doctors on TV who will do anything to find a cure for their patients, they generally just do not care and will tell you you're faking it rather than help you" bc yes that but ALSO sometimes doctors THINK they're uwu heroic tv doctors when in reality they just assault their patients for no good reason to "help" them.
Like. I'm tired of hearing friends with chronic illness being held down to have blood taken against their will, or to receive an unnecessary shot of something to see "if it will help" when they literally have tried that before and no it doesn't help and the doctor doesn't believe them. That's assault, that's traumatic, don't do that to people!!!!
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jentlemahae · 11 hours
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delightfuldevin · 26 days
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I died again,, this time on floor 20,,
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🪓
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glitterdustcyclops · 6 months
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i was feeling very anxious over a dumb work thing so i went to go tell my mom "i need a hug" and she gave me one and then she listened to me talk it out and now i feel better
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iloveyoumorethansoup · 6 months
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Ok life update. I’m fully in college again! I like some of my classes (all stem classes) I kinda hate some other classes (theatre classes ironically). I am so deeply not moved in at all. Unpacking who? Could not be me. I do not have enough storage. I like my third roommate a lot and living with my ex is not as scary as I thought it would be. I finally get an adhd and depression test in two weeks and i start therapy in a week.
#me? going to therapy bc my last relationship hurt me that badly? it’s more likely than you think!#it wasn’t just that. but that in conjunction with my depression did not do good things#went from clingy to very anxious attachment style#also. i keep saying I’m completely over her. I’m not. I’m just hoping if I say it enough it’ll be true#so it just really really hurts that she’s so over me and already talking to people and looking for dates#and I’m over here like. please can it all just stop hurting for 5 seconds🫠🫠🫠🫠#i really do not know what to do. hoping therapy fixes my very much still broken heart#i can’t even tell her like hey dude this is killing me bc then she’d think I’m trying to make it her problem#when in reality I just don’t want her to talk about the girls she’s talking to as much#also I’m pretty sure she’d end up being like fine I just won’t talk to you anymore. which completely missed the point as well#so. that’s cool#gaming club is starting to meet up again which is nice. unfortunately it’s on a day I have color guard every week#i think antidepressants would be very good for me bc I am struggling to find a single positive point in my life rn#the waitlist for therapy is miles long and u gotta submit why you want it. they called me in within a week. it’s not looking hot for me lol#I’d like to start streaming now that I’m single again. and by that I mean I have more free time#but my ex and I share a wall and she hates when she can hear me talking thru the wall. we have really really thin walls#y’all I am not winning. at all#idea: we’re doing a poll on things that should improve my life and y’all can decide#soup talks
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smirk47 · 1 year
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Re-listened to Pasithea s1e2 a few days ago but didn’t have time to write up reactions until now.
Listening to this episode, knowing everything I now know based on all of s1 and s2, something I was thinking about as I started the episode was: what is really drawing Jane and Sophie together at this point?
(spoilers plus rambly thoughts and run-on sentences ahead!)
Like – at the most basic, surface level of everything, they both have so much to be angry at each other about and so little reason to trust each other at this point. And they definitely have not really talked to each other enough yet by this point or been through enough together recently to have truly started to build a new understanding of each other – a lot of what they have to go on is their memories of the other from when they were younger, and their knowledge of some of the WORST things the other has done during the war. They haven’t really had much of a chance to see how the other person has changed in that time, or how those experiences have affected them. (I mean ... this is more true of Sophie than Jane, I suppose, but I do think it’s still essentially accurate for both of them.)
So why – at this early point in the story - are they still so drawn to each other already despite all this?
Listening to the episode what I came away with is that the reasons are complicated but also, ultimately, devastatingly simple: they are both SO lonely.
They’re 10 million other things also -- at least a third of which are actively contradictory and messy -- but I think the heart of why they keep calling each other and talking about so much more than just what would actually be absolutely necessary to deal with their immediate problems (which are: (a) what is Alegros up to? And (b) What the heck is happening with Carla?) and slipping up and failing to keep their walls up as high as they mean to is really just that: they’re lonely.
And like, that’s not necessarily any great revelation or brilliant observation, I suppose. But still. For all the complexity of everything else going on in the story, and all the secrets and betrayals and love yet to be revealed and discovered – I think it’s just such an effective, affecting emotional baseline to build this story and relationship out of.
They’re lonely, and lost, and traumatized and it’s so easy to become isolated and lose your sense of self under circumstances like that.
But there on the other end of these messages is someone who shares and understands at least a little of the same pain of love and loss that has changed the shape of your life and identity in the past several years. And not only that, this person has known you for a long time, and can’t help but still react to you sometimes as if you were still the person you believed yourself to be before the war.
Just… so much of our sense of self is shaped by how people react to us, and by the parts of our selves they reflect back at us. (It’s why culture shock can be so profoundly alienating and disorienting, right? When you find yourself far from the familiar and land in a place where your behavior does not necessarily MEAN the same thing to you as it does to the people around you – when people interpret your actions in a way you didn’t intend because they don’t have the same shared cultural background or experiences, then all of a sudden, all the things that reinforced your own idea of Who You Are are just totally stripped away. It can be freeing, but also deeply terrifying.)
And I have to imagine that talking to someone who knew them so well before the war – even as fraught and frustrating and full of misunderstanding as their relationship was before the war – must be a comfort when everything else makes you feel adrift, and when your name and reputation has taken on a life of its own that feels so totally outsized and separate from who you feel like you are on a day-to-day basis.
Add on to ALL of this the fact that (even though they have been through hell and see themselves as mature and jaded) they are actually SO YOUNG (25!? They are BABIES!), and then add on the truly UNTHINKABLE amount of Unresolved Sexual Tension they are still carrying from their pre-war days!?!?! and like: good. GOD. no wonder they cannot let go of this connection.
Even as they lash out at each other for reasons both petty and DEEPLY justified, and get mad at themselves for not being able to keep their distance the way they think they should, there’s this relief. This palpable sense of: ‘oh thank god - here’s an anchor to hold onto. A tether to keep me from drifting further into a version of myself that I no longer recognize or understand.’ It’s certainly not always a pleasant or emotionally healthy anchor to cling to for either of them, but dear god I can see why they would both end up clinging to it anyway.
... Well. That was a longer ramble than I thought I was gonna do! Oops? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ohter random thoughts and line shout outs:
Oh man, I always forget about Sophie’s angry little deleted message in reaction to Jane’s shreds of lettuce explanation. It’s so delightful and juicy and righteously angry and understandable but also SO FUCKING MISGUIDED AND UNJUSTIFIED because of the things she doesn’t know right now – I love it SO MUCH. Also, I’m frankly kinda impressed by the restraint she shows by deleting it instead of sending it tbh.
Just: the entire baking soda story. Especially: “So. They probably went home thinking they’re an accessory to murder, but at least a poor, down at heel war hero winked at them.” A delight. A++.
Jane having the realization of how limited her safety and privacy really are and fighting back a panic attack in real time while leaving a message: :(((. OOF.
Agent Blanc calling her Janie pisses me off SO. MUCH. Such a patronizing creep, right off the bat.
“I am being held. It’s very romantic.” Hee.
Everything about the fight with Alegros. Especially the ornamental tree.
The journey in Sophie’s message from “War Hero Attacks Innocent Man With Artificial Tree” – which made me laugh out loud – to the deeply sincere conclusion of “I can’t handle this anymore, Jane. I can’t watch this woman drown in front of me and do nothing but whisper about it.” is so good, and shows some of the pain, and fear, and compassion that Sophie hides under all that charm and bluster and bravado. She’s hard not to love in that moment.
And Jane’s response! Blunt, somewhat clinical, keeping that professional emotional distance – you can absolutely see some of her Pasithea experience poking through there (and also perhaps the fact that she has already been through several rounds of feeling drawn to and worried about and hurt or let down by Sophie even if the audience has not?) – but also ultimately legitimately good, clear-headed advice that does help Sophie find a path forward.
… After which Jane mercilessly teases Sophie for everything about her fight with Alegros. Which: fair! And also: AMAZING.
“In case you’re as clueless as he was, people from the sky are exactly the same color as they are on the ground until they get hit by whatever’s raining down on them and then they aren’t anymore.” OOF.
God, I feel like I could just copy-paste all of Sophie’s last message in this episode from “What am I going to do about it?” onward. It’s such a hard thing that she does, talking to Carla, and such a good thing, and all the little details - the training, the black bean burgers, Carla’s relief, Sophie’s response to learning what Carla was taking hypnos for, ALL OF IT – just paints such a picture of how deeply, mundanely horrible the war and its aftermath have been. It’s so effective and heartbreaking and does such a good job of fleshing out Sophie as a deeply sympathetic and even legitimately heroic and admirable character, without negating how much of a fuck-up she is sometimes too.
It also sets up such an interesting dynamic of audience empathy and understanding where it’s hard not to sort of adopt Sophie as your POV character at this point, since Sophie is more overtly emotionally accessible and understandable by this point in the narrative while Jane is still comparatively very distant and (understandably) emotionally opaque (is that even a real phrase? IDK.).
What I’m saying is: it’s a real good monologue that accomplishes a bunch of things all at once and I like it and it’s good? Yeah. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
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telemarcs · 1 year
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#the fact i have paragraphs written in my head for the day I'm loved by someone#i just hope it will live up to it or be even better#I'm trying to unlearn this thing in my head where I'm not good enough to be loved by someone until i look a certain way but it's so hard#because I've thought so for so many years that oh i won't date until I'm skinnier or something like that#obv what has stopped me the most is my illnesses and not being ready and then comeback of the great depression lmao#but it's shitty trying to unlearn something that's so etched into your mind#i just don't know how I'll achieve everything i want to achieve when my health and even where i live is pausing and stopping my every plan#i just gotta take day by day and not think too far ahead because that's too painful#right now i just gotta get my energy level back up and focus on that#because i can't do anything in the state I'm in right now when i sleep 12 h at a time and sleep that much after doing 1 thing#i basically got a letter the other day that since I'm turning 25 i need to start doing checkups and it's just a reminder of time and how it#feels like I'm running out of it#especially since my 20s have been dominated by my illnesses so far#also pls don't take what i said negatively I'm talking about my self#i think absolutely all girls are beautiful and don't have to change for anybody they're made whole the second they come into this world#and deserve love no matter what weight or situation they're in#but it's always different when it comes to myself#unfortunately
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loptrcoptr · 2 years
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Guess who has two thumbs and got kicked out of her barn? 👍👍
So two weeks ago I ran into this woman at the barn as she was taking her horses out of the arena and I was taking one in to ride. I know her, her barn is right across from a) the barn with the horse I currently ride and b) the barn just next to it, where I worked for seven months. Seven. And I still occasionally work at the barn where I currently ride. Following me?
Well. She completely forgot who I was and that we had met quite a few times, actually, over the past two years. I said hello as I passed her and she gave me that very specific look middle-aged white women give you that’s somewhere between “are you a criminal” and “you don’t even go here”. She said “are you Lena? [daughter of the people whose horse I ride]” I said “uh, nope”, weirded out by the fact I’m so easily forgotten. She then says “we’ll, are you related to [this horse’s owners]?” I again said no, and “I just ride this guy.” Gave the horse a pat, tried to keep walking. At this point she went full school marm and said “are you on file with the stable committee office??” As in… have u signed all the hold harmless paperwork that everyone has to sign in order to do anything with horses at any barn anywhere. Again… I have worked and ridden at this damn barn for two years right across from this woman’s barn.
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So I said “yup, I’m on file, I’m totally legal! I’ve done all the paperwork”. She immediately changed tone and laughed and said “oh you know, I just have to check!” And I fake laughed and said “yep! Ok!” And told her to have a nice day. And it sat in my craw for days and I couldn’t shake the feeling she was going to contact the horse’s owner and “report me” or something.
Fast forward to yesterday morning. I get a text from the guy whose horse I ride and he says that this bitch (not how he referred to her, of course) has been made head of the stable committee. And she has decided that no one is allowed to ride a horse they don’t own, regardless of waiver status, unless the owner is present to supervise. in summary I, a non-wealthy young person, am not allowed to ride at the stables unless the horse’s owner agrees to come out and babysit me like I’m a child.
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Also, I am definitely not a worse rider than most of the horse owners at this place (not the ones I ride for) who know nothing about horses and never ride, (which is why they hire me and people like me to take care of their horses for them)! But that’s not the point, the point is this woman has cited “insurance liability” as the reason for banning non-owners from barn activity. She has taken over from the previous committee head, who is an actual lawyer, and decided that the paperwork the actual lawyer prepared isn’t good enough to ensure the barn’s interests are protected… even though it has been doing exactly that for at least five years without incident. This is the same woman who used barn funds to put up a slew of cross country jumps all over the bridle path even though there’s only one (!) other eventer in the entire stables, so no one uses them. It’s utter nonsense.
The worst part is that because I’m not an owner I’m not privy to the stable committee meetings, so I don’t actually know that this is a real new policy, or if she simply told this specific horse owner it was for his, and my, benefit. If my name was somehow brought up at this month’s meeting, my former “friend” who hates my guts now would absolutely have started throwing shade and making up crazy shit. By now most people at the barn know she’s crazy, but too few know me well enough to have a dispute. So I can’t even say for certain, because horse people Are Like That, that this is even a riel now and not just something they brought up for me specifically, without having a better reason to boot me out. Less drama this way, you see. Knowing this woman loves control (turning the entire bridle path into her own personal playground!), I’d like to believe it’s just a whole rule now, but I don’t know for certain.
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Anyway… as soon as I read that text message I was like *stares in Tired Horse Bitch*. I was lucky that these folks allowed me to ride their horse, and I had other people offer too, when the family I worked for retired their horses and I was out of options. And it chaps my entire ass that after all the work I’ve done and all the connections I’ve made, the owners didn’t even get the right to tell me when to stop. They can’t even make that decision now. And it has lit a fire under me to just stop lurking on horse boards and checking out boarding barns and commit to horse shopping, because I cannot deal with being beholden to the whims of random old crones any longer. I need a horse of my own that no one can tell me what to do with. Do I currently have the budget I was hoping I’d have? Nope. Am I going to start looking at horses anyway? Yep.
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#personal#it’s a great sport but it’s unfortunately filled with a lot of control freaks and fun-suckers#poor man who owns the horse was like when I go riding you can join next time? what a nice man. but idk if I will take him up on it#I’m so tired of feeling like I’m being watched all the time their anyway now it will be so much worse#horse girl#i don’t want to hang out someplace where I’m unwanted and after two years of Drama and More Drama I am ready to shell out however many#thousands of dlllars I have to to not have to deal with any of it anymore#what’s next on her agenda I wonder! Theo oblivion is no longer allowed to visit even though#their hoa funds are paying for the barn to exist?#will the lessees not be able to ride without supervision either? how do the other owners#who let their friends and family ride#feel about this? i may never know lol because I’m not going back there I don’t think#petty neurotic narcissists using ‘liability’ as a catch all for anything they don’t like in the horse world#has gotta stop. it’s too much effort to just exist in shared spaces IN MY OWN LANE#one time last year I rocked up to the barn and their was a riderless horse at the gate#he was fully tacked and freaked out and he had clearly dumped his rider some place#i pull my car in through the other gate and jog over to get him. he’s ln the other side#there are two women doing a lesson in the arena RIGHT NEXT TO HIM and they do nothing#I ask them for the code to the side gate there and they look at me like I’ve sprouted a second head#so I gesture at this riderless fucking horse and repeat my request for the code#as I punch it in another trainer drives up and says “oh good someone else noticed! and we lead the horse#back to his barn (I knew exactly whose horse it was) and in tack him and put him up#then we run off to saddle up and ride out and look for the owner#this committee bitch- the one who’s in charge now- was outside her barn gabbing with a friend#we rode by and said so and so’s horse came back without her we’re going to go find her#and she and her fiend just like. stared at us#we rode for like thirty minutes and didn’t find the rider#(she had fallen off closer to home and by that time had made it back to the barn#with no broken bones or anything) and when we were turning around the bitch and her friend came riding up finally#they had tacked up before us! they should’ve led the search!
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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one specific thing that i'd like to get better at w/r/t crossword theme generation is identifying not just words that contain a specific set of letters but phrases that contain a specific set of letters. for instance. i'm working on a theme right now in which types of shoes are going to be hidden within the long answers. for some, there are longer single words that contain those letters (e.g., toolBOOTh, MOCha, conFLATe), but for others i'm going to have to go over a word boundary, which takes me out of the territory of Things That Can Eventually Be Found If You Read The Dictionary For Long Enough (my usual strategy lol). the problem is i have absolutely no idea how to get better at this. but in good news, today i came up with both "muscle atrophy" and "oracle at delphi" for "cleat" and "warts and all" for "sandal" almost right away. so...i just need to keep doing that? somehow? how are other constructors doing this all the time??
#and how was anybody doing this before the 'contains' search function on thefreedictionary.com existed??#cruciverbs#my posts#i went on my crossword theme generation walk today and came up with nine theme ideas. NINE.#and i would have done more but i had to stop just bc if i came up with any more i wouldn't be able to hold them in working memory#long enough to get home and write them down#i should really take my phone with me on these walks lol#turns out one of the nine is an idea i've come up with before but haven't followed through on yet. maybe i should do that one next#i gotta focus on the shoe one first though and unfortunately i won't be able to use 'warts and all' unless i can come up with a second#answer containing sandal. because 'sandal' will be in a rebus square which means it'll be part of both an Across and a Down answer#but i really want to use warts and all :(#and i kind of think the second answer shouldn't include 'and' because that feels repetitive#so what are my options? '_s andal_' are there any common english expressions containing the word andalusia? i don't think so#'_sa ndal_' illegal word-initial consonant cluster so that's out. '_san dal_' are there any spanish saints with names beginning in dal-?#'_sand al_' or '_sand a l_' sand something. thousand something. ampersand something. hm.#'_sanda l_' sanda at the end of a word is not super promising#i think '_sand al_' is my best bet so now i gotta think of things related to sand that start in al-. or things that start with al- that#there are a thousand of#sand alloy. sand aluminum. sand algae. terrible. painfully bad.#this is what i need to get better at but idek where to start
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humandisastersquad · 2 years
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wait WHAT
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erythristicbones · 1 year
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ive been quiet about my original stories lately but just know that i had insane brainworms all day about adapting one of my askblog stories into an original story. rotating Keahi in my brain for six hours let's go
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Literal dream that's now becoming a goal if I ever go to prison for something sexy I want to do a choreo to rumors (cardi/lizzo) instead of my part of the presentation of evidence
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