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beauregardlionett · 3 years

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all the stars your eyes could hold

AO3 Link

The circumstances under which the Mighty Nein found themselves invited to yet another party in Nicodranas were unclear. Beau was fairly certain it involved someone wanting Marion to perform, but had placed it under the guise of requesting the Nein’s attendance.

Ever since they assisted in the tentative peace treaty between the Empire and the Dynasty, word had been getting around about them. It was mildly unsettling for someone like Beau, who meant to operate in shadow. Thankfully, her more exuberant and colorful party members tended to garner the spotlight.

Leaning against an obnoxiously ostentatious marble column, nursing a drink far too fruity for her taste, Beau scanned the crowd. Caduceus had offered to gift her with True Sight again, but Beau had turned him down. While she appreciated the gesture, she wanted to be present this time.

Nobles in all states of fancy dress swept across the dance floor before her. Women with billowing skirts as they twirled through the ballroom, offering tittering laughter behind fans or hands adorned in silk gloves. Men with ornate suit coats sporting flushed cheeks as they drank away their decorum. Individuals dressed in pristine costume somewhere between a full skirt and fitted breeches flit between the food and drink and the dance floor. It was the sort of contained, upright chaos that Beau grew up around in Kamordah. It was a breed of debauchery that masqueraded as a proper party only nobles could attend and achieve.

With a heavy sigh, Beau took a long drag of her overly sweet drink and prayed the night would end soon.

As much as she loved wearing her slate grey suit, catching many approving, hungry stares from the women here, Beau was tired. Parties like these were far too pompous for her, pointless entertainment for nobles who had nothing better to do with their time.

She was considering slipping out to the garden for some quiet when a soft voice spoke up behind her.

“Beau?”

Twisting to peer over her shoulder, Beau worked hard to maintain her hold on her drink.

Yasha strode toward her, all but glowing in the sensual party lighting.

Jester insisted on splurging for a new dress for Yasha the day before. Something about wanting to amend the height of the slit because she knew Yasha was a little uncomfortable with it. Whatever the real reason was, Beau had no arguments because Yasha’s new dress was stunning. Made of a similar dark velvet as the previous one, this new garment draped over Yasha’s physique enticingly.

The dress was one-shouldered, a long cape of soft fabric cascading down Yasha’s back from the sleeveless strap. Her neckline was trimmed with silver flower embroidery, and a simple off-white belt cinched the length of the skirt into an empire waist. Veth had gently bullied the Aasimar into letting the Halfling style Yasha’s hair. So her now almost entirely white hair was pinned to drape down one side, the braids re-done and ancient tangles brushed smooth.

Simple, elegant, and extremely attractive.

Beau reminded herself to thank Jester for remembering to put the cape on the arm Yasha didn’t have a tattoo on. The jade ink was shimmering in the party’s dim lighting, and Beau had to make sure she wasn’t drooling.

“Hey,” Beau finally remembered to answer, eloquent as always.

Yasha’s lips twitched as she chuckled, coming to stand beside Beau. The monk watched as Yasha’s eyes swept over the crowd, a bit of unease flickering across the woman’s expression.

“You okay, Yasha?” Beau murmured, shifting closer to where their shoulders brushed.

“Yeah,” the Aasimar said, aiming a smile Beau’s way that did anything but convince her that Yasha was okay. “I just don’t really know what to do at parties. And people keep staring at me.”

Beau could hardly blame them. But it seemed to be a reoccurring theme with Yasha that wherever she went, both the best and the worst seemed to be drawn toward the Aasimar’s aura. Beau often failed at reigning in her jealousy born of protective instinct.

“Well then,” Beau pushed off the pillar, downed her drink against the burn of alcohol in her throat, and beamed at Yasha. “Shall we wander, then?”

Yasha blinked at Beau, giving the human a slow, shy smile and a nod, a quiet, “sure.”

Making their way around the perimeter of the ballroom, Beau caught sight of Jester swirling Fjord around the floor. The little Tiefling was grinning ear to ear and Beau could see her giggling giddily as her pink chiffon swirled around her and Fjord’s legs. The half-Orc was smiling with fond amusement down at whatever Jester was saying, looking rather smitten. Their second lap around the ballroom, deep in discussion about what the Elf wearing a bright green ball gown might do for a living, Beau scanned again. This time she spotted Veth and Caleb sitting at a table with Caduceus, the Halfling talking with rapid intent and animated hand-gestures. Caleb seemed fixated on whatever she was talking about, nodding every few seconds. Caduceus, smiling indulgently, caught Beau’s eye after a second. The Firbolg raised a brow her way and made a slight shooing gesture.

Waving Caduceus off, Beau continued her conversation with Yasha. But she did subtly steer them towards the exit, remembering the small side garden she had spotted on the way in. Part of her hoped it would offer some quiet, the other part hoped to see that adorable grin Yasha got on her face whenever she saw flowers.

Sure enough, the second they stepped out of the side hall and into the moonlit garden, Yasha’s lips curled into a wider smile. Beau trailed off from her description of a very crude occupation the Elf back in the ballroom could have to watch Yasha smile. The Aasimar’s profile all but glowed in the silver night, Beau transfixed with the way Yasha’s smile pushed her cheeks to round and scrunched her nose just a little. Her eyes crinkled at the corners just so, and Beau studied the temporary crow’s feet that nestled there.

Yasha looked her way and Beau blinked back at her, smiling in return on instinct.

“It’s gorgeous out here, Beau. How did you know this was here?”

“I just...saw it on the way in. Figured you might like it better than inside.”

“It’s very beautiful,” Yasha agreed, sweeping a look over the flowers as she walked through the neatly planted flora. Beau followed, drawn toward her like a moon caught in orbit with no choice but to gravitate.

As they strolled through the garden together, Beau’s hands shoved in her pockets, she tipped her head back to stare at the stars and the low-hanging moon. Maybe it was the nearby ocean, but she swore the night sky always shone brighter in Nicodranas. Yasha’s hair caught Beau’s attention out of the corner of her eye, all but glowing in the silver moonlight.

Everything about the Aasimar beside her beckoned like a lure, and Beau wondered not for the first time how she could have ever lived without Yasha. It was one of those moments where she found herself hard pressed to remember a time before Yasha, before the Nein. There was always an unfortunate set of memories that never failed to surface, but the more mundane memories were harder to access. Everything she did with the Nein felt like they had always been together, had always understood her. Beau knew it wasn’t the truth, but she didn’t care.

They were with her now, that was what mattered.

Time, Beau thought, was such a fickle and inconsistent mistress. She always lingered, but she didn’t serve everyone kindly or evenly.

Some got less - like Mollymauk. Some got more - like Caduceus brought back from death. And some like Lucien got multiple chances, while others like Yasha couldn’t even recall what Time had already given them.

Beau, uncertain where she fell on that sliding scale, knew one thing for sure.

“Yasha,” Beau said in a voice that sounded steadier than she felt. Back near the building where they started, Beau spotted an alcove with a small pristine marble fountain tucked into it. The Aasimar looked over at Beau curiously as the monk grabbed Yasha’s elbow and huddled them into the corner.

Yasha looked surprised as Beau put her own back against the wall and drew Yasha in closer. Even in the half light from the moon, Beau saw the blush on Yasha’s cheeks turning darker, her sturdy hands finding purchase on Beau’s hips.

“I’ll be honest,” Beau sighed, emboldened by the simple action. “This isn’t quite how I pictured doing this. I had, like, this whole thing planned with the tower, but I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

Yasha’s eyes seemed entirely transfixed on Beau’s lips, as if watching the monk craft every syllable she spoke.

“I read your letter,” Beau confessed in a rush. “I actually read it like...weeks ago. And at first I uh...I didn’t know what to do. I had told myself that I wouldn’t make a move, that the ball was in your court because of all the shit you’ve gone through. But then you did make a move, and I haven’t ever really had someone look at me and understand me in the way you do. So I kind of panicked and procrastinated and told myself I’d figure something out. But then all this shit kept happening, and it never felt like the right time to breach the topic, y’know? But then I realized...we’re never promised tomorrow. Especially people like us. So uh...in an effort to spend as much time with you as possible, because I really want to spend a lot of time with you...”

Beau had to pause for a breath, her own cheeks now warm with the emotions swirling messily in her chest.

“I really like you, Yasha,” Beau whispered, feeling short of breath. “In a way that’s kind of terrifying, but that I’m also super into. I like you in a way that makes me nervous, the same feeling I get when we do something fun and dangerous. My heart races and there’s this thrill in my veins. I get stuck in this five-foot world that’s composed of everything and everyone I can see in the moment.”

Biting down on her tongue to stop her rambling and catch her breath, Beau looked up at Yasha. The Aasimar’s fingers curled a little tighter around Beau’s hips, and her lips parted with surprise. Wide eyes and flushed cheeks greeted Beau’s frantic search for emotion, and the monk was acutely aware of her own heart pounding behind her ribs. The moonlight back-lit Yasha, outlining her in silver, and Beau swore for a moment that it crafted a halo above the barbarian’s head.

“Beau,” Yasha whispered. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah,” Beau rushed out breathlessly. “Please.”

Yasha ducked her head down so quickly that the press of her lips against Beau’s ended up gently knocking the monk’s head against the wall behind her. Beau didn’t mind at all, too busy smiling against Yasha’s lips and reaching to wrap her arms around the Aasimar’s neck.

It felt like all the air fled from Beau’s lungs for a moment, leaving her breathless and dizzy. The wall at her back and Yasha’s hands on her hips seemed like the only things keeping her upright at the moment. She had wanted to kiss Yasha for a while, but had never put much thought into it beyond that. Beau never imagined what it would feel like to kiss Yasha.

It was like melting and solidifying in the same instance. Beau had never felt more bodily present than she did at that moment, every place Yasha connected with her a physical anchor for her soul. But in the same breath, every fiber of her insides turned to contented mush under the searing, moonlit heat of the Aasimar’s attention.

Their kiss could have lasted seconds or minutes, and Beau wouldn’t have cared either way. Yasha pulled back enough for their noses to brush as they caught their breath.

“Fuck,” Beau managed eventually, sounding strangled with giddy pleasure.

Yasha smirked and offered a quiet, “maybe later, yeah?”

Beau’s brain promptly short-circuited and she stuttered what one might consider an enthusiastic agreement. Yasha took amused mercy on her after a moment and stepped back to let Beau breathe.

“We should uhm...” Yasha started, then stopped, glancing over her shoulder.

“Head back in?” Beau squeaked, recovered enough to speak once more.

“Probably,” Yasha nodded. The Aasimar hesitated, holding out her arm in an awkward, wordless invitation. Beau stared at her for a moment before recognizing the gesture for what it was. Straightening out her jacket with a firm tug and brisk pat down, the monk wound her arm through Yasha’s elbow and shot a giddy grin her way.

Beau decided, as they made their way back into the ballroom, that this was definitely one of the best parties she had ever been to.

#cr #critical role #beauyasha #beauregard lionett #yasha #writing #my writing

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hcneylaced · 4 years

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( MOON GAYOUNG, CISWOMAN, SHE/HER ╱ wait is that ROSALIE MYUNG ? I heard the 24 YEAR OLD, NURSE has only been living in new york city for the past SIX YEARS & seems to have already made a name for themselves. though they can be DEPENDABLE & WITTY, you should watch out because they are also known to be GUARDED & OBSTINATE. however, they seem to post a lot about CHERRY STAINED RED LIPS, THE RELIEF OF A HAPPY ENDING TO A GREAT NOVEL, PIANO KEYS THAT COLLECTED DUST OVER THE YEARS. but I am definitely curious about that RING ON A CHAIN AS A NECKLACE they hold so dear.

─ ─ ─ ⋆ hi, i’m ali! i’m very excited to be here and meet you along with all your muses! rosalie is a muse i created a few months ago, but never had the chance to develop so i can’t wait to see how she interacts with your muses! below you will find rosalie’s biography and below that you will find wanted connections for her! if you’d like to plot with rosalie or you see a wanted connection ( below ) that you see fits your muse, feel free to give this a like! we can exchange discords too if plotting is easier that way! ⋆ ─ ─ ─

___________________________________________

BASICS.

full name : rosalie myung . nicknames : rosie, rosa . date of birth / age : may 13 , twenty four . star sign : taurus . gender / pronouns : cis woman , she & her . orientation : demisexual , biromantic . nationality : korean , american . languages : english , korean .

APPERANCE.

height : five foot five . build : petite , slim . hair color : brunette . eye color : dark brown . style : here . tattoos : here . scars : underneath her jaw ( from her brother ) . faceclaim : moon ga young .

PERSONALITY.

positive : witty , dependable , practical , independent , kind-hearted . negative : guarded , obstinate , brooding , blunt , proud . likes : playing piano, writing music, red lipstick, her frequent patients, pastry . dislikes : her brother , her mother , cockiness , showing her own weakness . quirks : hair twirling . hobbies : playing piano ( once upon a time ) , writing lyrics , writing music . fears : the feeling of being unloved , showing a sense of weakness , heights , her brother .

ღ ___________________________________________ ღ

TW: ABUSE , BULLYING , ALCOHOLISM , DEATH , POSTPARTUM.

daddy’s little girl from the start, ROSALIE MYUNG always got whatever she wanted by simply asking. her father, DONG-HYUN MYUNG, would give her anything without question as long as his little girl was happy and thriving. rosalie was never ungrateful for the gifts she received and despite being born into money, secured for the rest of her life and more than comfortable, she formed a close bond with her father, appreciating everything he did for her. her first best friend, her favorite person, it was obvious that rosalie was the favorite child. he would put rosalie above anyone and anything ━ rosalie came first.

it lead to the relationship between dong-hyun and her older brother, GRAYSON MYUNG, strained. it was filled with awkward silences that her brother tried fix with words of desperation for a look in his direction, for dong-hyun to be proud. grayson wanted to gain their father’s attention and affection more than anything, a feeling of hatred blooming inside of him for his younger sister when it was clear he was failing. rosalie didn’t have to do much to be the favorite ━ coming into this earth and stealing their father’s heart instantly.

while her relationship with her father continued to get stronger, rosalie couldn’t remember a time that her mother, BITNA MYUNG, wasn’t so cold toward her. postpartum depression was the medical term given when rosalie was five months old and bitna couldn’t find it in herself to hold her new baby, to feel joy within her over rosalie. it wasn’t the same feeling she had with grayson. as rosalie became older, however, nothing seemed to change. while the two never clicked, rosalie tried her best to bond with her mother. the way rosalie’s father was invested in work, but went out of his way for their daughter, left a bitter taste in bitna’s mouth and kept rosalie at arm’s length.

at fourteen years old, rosalie loses the one person she thought she could never live without. a drunk driver the police said, her father died at the scene and they did the best they could to help him. flashbacks of how destroyed his car was doesn’t leave her mind, bile rising up in her throat at the thought of what took place inside that vehicle. the tension in the myung household grows, rosalie feeling like she was now an outsider in her own family.

starting freshman year of high school, rosalie starts pushing her friends away and it doesn’t take much for them to move on without finding a reason. the light rosalie used to have dims. while she excels in school, her social life goes down the drain until there’s nothing left. the friends she used to have whisper behind her back. the books she held in her arms forcefully dropped to the floor after an accidentally bump in the hallway. notes left behind in her locker with both familiar and unfamiliar handwriting that leaves her more angry than sad. a wall builds up quickly, ignoring everyone around her until she’s able to answer the questions in class or hand a witty response to whoever decides to mess with her.

rosalie’s home life becomes darker. at eighteen years old and a graduate from high school, grayson’s main goal is to take over her father’s business that left their family rich. he’s smart and knows the in and out of the business from all the times he’d shadow his father. grayson wants to be the man of the house now, wants to make sure his mother is secure and comfortable living. rosalie is the last thing on his mind and it shows. while he’s stepping up to the plate, the added stress he’s put on his plate taking a toll and he turns to drinking early on. their mother remains in the shadows. without much words between rosalie and bitna, the former knows her mother is grieving over the death of her father.

the first anniversary of dong-hyun’s passing is when the hits start. rosalie had been used to the verbal lashing her older brother used to give her, able to let the harsh comments roll of her shoulders and move on. there wasn’t a time he was physical, however. it changed when they got into argument, rosalie not knowing what to do with her life, but working at dong-hyun’s company wasn’t something she saw in her future. it was a quick contact of cheek to hand, broken and bruised skin taking form hours later. there was no apology afterward and as the days went on, it was a repeat of the same thing. it was easy for rosalie to hide the bruises and marks left behind. her mother turned a blind eye and her classmates weren’t watching her enough to notice or care.

the walls grow taller around rosalie. she rather people think she was a horrible person, a complete freak than think she was weak. after one too many bumps and mending herself together, it’s her senior year when rosalie realizes what she wants to do with her future. deep down, she has a heart of gold. a nurse ━ someone who can help others, who can patch up their wounds and calm them down and all around be there for them. it’s an idea she sleeps on, but wakes up knowing it’s what she wants.

new york is her escape. she applies for as many universities as she can, her outstanding grades and extra credits enough for her to get accepted into every college of her choice. by the time she’s eighteen and graduated, she’s packing her stuff and leaving her hometown behind without a word to her mother or brother. she gets a job as a receptionist, saves up all her money while living in one of the most run down apartments she’s ever seen. rosalie starts from the ground up, however, thrilled to be getting away from where she once lived, who she had to surround herself with. she makes friends and works hard in all her classes ━ passes with flying colors and graduates with honors.

currently, rosalie is living in new york with her guard still up. she’s not soft, but kind ━ her softness showing for her patients and disappearing once she clocks out. she still lives in an apartment, but a much better one that she can be proud of. rosalie isn’t completely out of the clear, unfortunately, because after her brother found out about her whereabouts, he doesn’t want to leave her alone. grayson has still never apologized for the abuse he put her through, but all she does is screen his calls and hope one day he gets the hint.

and well, if you tell rosalie gods and goddesses are roaming new york city under the disguise of a normal human, she more than likely wouldn’t believe you.

TIDBITS;

⋆ when rosalie was younger, her father taught her how to play the piano. the talent came natural to her and she had an ear for music and lyrics. after his passing, rosalie hasn’t even looked at a piano. deep down, she misses the feeling of the smooth keys underneath her fingertips, but it brings up too many memories of her father.

⋆ the ring she keeps on a chain as a necklace belongs to her late father. it’s a piece of him she takes everywhere she goes. rosalie will take it off for bed and when she bathes, but it’s always near her. she’s never not wearing it. it’s another way to keep her father close to her heart.

WANTED CONNECTIONS;

wanted tag can be found here !

any and all connections are open to humans and gods/goddesses !

WANTED 01 : this person was rosalie’s high school sweetheart ━ at least to her own knowledge since no one else knew. they were the first person to get passed her cold exterior, the first person after her father’s dath that she opened her heart to. the two messed around, rosalie eventually falling in love despite the two being a secret and regardless of the other never sticking up for her when people badmouthed her at school. rosalie ended up with her heartbroken, the pushing the other away as much as possible. they went from almost knowing each other inside out to complete strangers once again. rosalie considers this person someone she dislikes and wants nothing to do with.

status: OPEN

WANTED 02 : one of rosalie’s soft spots. they have a cliche moment where she calls the other an idiot and the reply back is “but i’m your idiot,” and they wouldn’t be wrong about it.

status: OPEN

WANTED 03 : just someone who can be soft with her even though she’s horrible at emotions ━ emotionally constipated is what she is, honestly. she’s another person she has a soft spot for one the down low, would do anything for them, but can’t exactly put into words how much they mean to her. platonic soulmates, actual soulmates. they’re the type to hang out until it’s one in the morning and rosalie is nodding off on their shoulder peacefully.

status: OPEN

WANTED 04 : a person she can bicker with. rosalie needs to have the last word, a routine she got into when she couldn’t answer her brother back without some repercussion and her witty insults were the only thing in between her and her classmates. she finds this person annoying, sometimes unbearable to be around, but she wouldn’t consider them someone she dislikes or hates. their conversation just has a lot of eye rolls and blank expressions on rosalie’s part, almost too blunt with them.

status: OPEN

WANTED 05 : a roommate. pretty simple and to the point. someone that rosalie lives with. their relationship can depend on a multitude of things, but starting her life in new york from scratch would more than likely still have her living in a (nice) apartment some years later.

status: OPEN

#ungodly:intro

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return-of-a-space-cowboy · 5 years

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A slave to fate

(Yandere Bruno Bucciallati X Female Reader)

Warning this chapter will contain sensitive topics, implied rape and drugs

Life had never been on your side. Living in the gangster capital of Italy made it hard for people to live with the temptations of drugs and sex, and unfortunately your parents were two of the many that died due to the temptations of this sinful city, and you had to pay their price now. You were Gangster property now and you knew that you would never escape this brutal lifestyle alive.

🌹🌹🌹

You were currently in a public bathroom fixing up your make up.

"Just what I needed darling" you heard your satisfied customer slur as he left. A shiver in disgust went down your spine, you could still taste him.

"God, I need a fucking drink" you mumbled to yourself as you walked out and started counting you're newly earned and filthy money.

"€145, I could spare a bit for a cola" you said to yourself as you walked to a vending machine and put in the required money and the cold beverage rolled out. You picked it up and twisted the cap, which let out a satisfying crack. Without hesitation you started to quickly gulp it down, the sweet bubbly beverage was bliss to your taste buds and the horrible bittersweet taste disappeared from your mouth.

Your job was not even close to done for tonight as if you came back with that much, it was sure that you would pay the price. You walked across the city, looking for an area to post at but sadly all of the hotspots had been taken. So you were left to post at a park. You wondered around hoping to find a potential customer.

It wasn't to long before you spotted a man heading your way so you gathered all of the nonexistent courage you had and spoke in your sweetest voice.

"Hello, are you lost, do you need any help" you said to him. God you felt ashamed of yourself, you felt your fake smile twitching.

"Get fucked you whore, I don't need your sex work" he spat at you before walking off. You sighed, tonight wasn't your night. You continued to walk around until you found a beautiful rose bush, it looked just like the ones that grandma used to have. You lifted one of the roses to your nose before inhaling it's sweet aroma, it was just like your mother's perfume. The scent carried you on a journey of nostalgia, but a voice quickly tore you mind back into reality.

"Never thought I'd see a prostitute admiring the landscape" the male voice said. You turned your head to the side to see the man behind you. He was a young man, around his early 20s. He had blue eyes and short black hair that was styled in an elegant bob, clipped by two gold pins and a braid across his hairs parting. His he wore a white suit with black pin design on it. Along with the insane amount of zippers. It also showed a lot of his bare chest, which was covered in tattoos. If his clothes had told you anything it was that he was filthy rich.

"Well you know what they say, take time to smell the roses" you lightly giggled to ease yourself.

"Your definitely not like the other, there's something different with you compared to other prostitutes I've met" he said as he walked closer to you.

"How so?"

"I don't know, you don't really suit being a prostitute... You're just too honest, your face doesn't hide how you feel" he said.

"Well that's just been me, I've been a honest person my whole life" you replied.

"Can we take this chat to a café perhaps?" He asked you.

"Yes I don't mind" you said as you began to follow him.

🌹🌹🌹

After 15 minutes or so, you both had arrived at a small cafe. You both sat down at a table on the second story.

"I'm sorry that I didn't ask you earlier for your name" he apologized.

"It's alright. My name is (Y/N)" you said.

"Is that your work name?" He asked you.

"No it's my real name, I don't really have a work name, but a lot of the girls I work with call me Roxanne"

"Well it seem only appropriate then that I tell you my name, my name is Bruno"

"Well it's a pleasure meeting you Bruno" you said as you both shook hands.

"I've been trying to stop myself from asking you this but why are you working as a prostitute? It doesn't suit you at all, you deserve better then that" he asked you. You didn't reply to his question.

"OK, I understand if you don't want to talk about it"

You both continued chatting about normal thing for what seemed like forever a lady came to take drink orders.

"(Y/N), you can order anything to drink, I'll pay" he offered you. You gave his a slightly sceptical look.

"How do I know your not trying to scam me?"

"Trust me, I'd never scam a woman. Only low lives do that"

"OK, I believe you" you said before ordering a drink. The conversion that you both had to lasted around 2 hour before you had to leave.

"Sorry Bruno, but I've got to head back or else my pimp is gonna have me working double shifts"

He grabbed out his wallet to pay the bill, he started mentally counting the money before placing some of it in bills envelope and handing the rest to you, you felt your blood go cold, was he just trying to be a 'nice guy' so he could get in your pants like the rest!

"Um, I'm sorry but my shifts over now..." You mumbled.

"No, you don't need to do anything. Take it as a mean of appreciation for talking to me, I know your pimp won't like seeing you coming back with little to no money" he explained.

"Thank you so much Bruno, really. No one has ever been so kind to me" you thanked him.

"Well I'm glad to have helped a person like you" he said as you both exit the cafe.

"Well I guess I'll tell you why I'm a prostitute, my parents were drug addicts... They were killed by the Giovanni gang... And now I'm paying their debt off by working as a prostitute" you explained before leaving.

As you ran off he couldn't help but stare. He felt a sudden cold chill across his body. Her parents had put their selfish wants before their child, they not only died for it but also left her behind to pay the debts. He had seen the sadness in her eyes but this was more then her eyes had let on.

🌹🌹🌹

Since then you had bumped into Bruno again. After that he revealed that he himself was a gangster, head of the buccirati gang, despite his newly revealed status you still treated him with the same respect you did before. You knew you would be killed if your boss found out about your interactions with him. So your contact with him was very secretive.

Unbeknownst of you, he had stared to fall for you, his empathy slowly evolved into an obsession. He knew that your work was going to kill you at some stage, so he started plotting away to get rid of the Giovanni gang for good and getting you into his arms.

🌹🌹🌹

You had finally gotten back from your long night of working, your perfume barely masking the putrid scent of sex.

“Rough night Roxanne?” One of your co workers said.

“Isn't every…” you mumbled trying not to cry. You had a terrible night. You had gotten into a deadly situation involving multiple armed men. You had bruises and you could barely walk, worst was you had to tell your boss.

After a quick shower you knocked on your bosses door.

“Come in” he said and you aided. He was sitting behind his desk smoking a cigar.

“So (Y/N) how was your night?” He said in a sly tone, he probably though your bruises were from some high paying sadist.

“Not so well… I got mugged” you mumbled.

“I can't hear you! Speak louder!” He yelled.

“I got mugged” you spoke a little louder. He gave you a glare and sighed, he was about to speak before a ear piercing scream was heard. You both rush out to find the source. You found everyone at the front door. A man lying on the floor with a bullet wound in his calf.

“Call the ambulance!” One of crowd shouted, another prostitute. Your pimp pushed past you and grabbed her by the hair before slamming her face down into the table.

“What are you, a fucking retard!” He yelled before slamming her face in again, blood started trickling down her face.

“If we do that they'll expose us!” He screamed as he continued to slam her face in. You couldn't take it anymore, you grabbed his arm, trying to prevent him from slamming her face again.

“Stop it, your going to kill her” you screamed as you tried to get his hands off of her, sure enough it did but it made you his new target. He grabbed you and threw you into a wall making you become disorientated. He then walked over and grabbed your shoulders.

“You think your a fucking hero! well your not! Your my bitch!” He screamed at you as he violently shook you.

“And you'll do what ever I fucking say” he continued as he began to drag you off.

You couldn't remember anything else that night. You were meant to be meeting up with Bruno today but you couldn't leave in this condition. So you stayed in helping out with whatever was needed.

🌹🌹🌹

After a few days the bruises faded and could now be hidden behind some foundation. You quickly imputed the number Bruno had given you into the payphone and it began to ring Once, twice and then he picked up.

“Yes hello?” he answered.

“Hello it's me (Y/N)” you responded.

“(Y/N) where have you been?” He said, hiding his concern.

“I was just busy with work that's all” you lied.

“Meet me at the where we arranged last time” he said before hanging up. You exited the booth and started to make your way to your meeting spot, completely unaware that you were being stalked.

🌹🌹🌹

You sat at the fountain until Bruno had arrived, then you both began to aimlessly walk around. Everything was normal until he said something out of the blue.

"I know you were lying. You weren't busy with work, if you were I would have seen you at some stage. Also I noticed that your wearing more conservative clothing then usual" he blatantly said. Which made your body twitch sightly.

"What was the real reason?" He asked as he stepped in front of you. You stayed silent.

"Please, I can't help you if you won't open up" he begged you. You sighed.

"I got mugged... And then when I came back a man had gotten shot. Someone wanted to call a ambulance... The boss didn't like that so he got aggressive, I tried to stop him but... It just turned his violence against me..." You began to sob. He put a hand on your shoulder.

"I promise you one day, that this will all be over..." He sighed as he pulled you into a hug.

"One day the cursed drug ring will collapse, then you'll be free..." He said before he pulled you in for a unexpected kiss, the kiss only being for 3 seconds but the sweet taste of cherry balm still lingered on his. To him this was heavenly but you were horrified, the only guy that you thought you could have a neutral relationship with turned out to be wanting more. You became overwhelmed by emotions anger, fear, disgust yet you also felt something fuzzy inside you.

"If you just wanted sex from me you could have just said so from the beginning! But no! You had to play the nice guy and play with my heart!!!" You screamed Before you slapped him hard. He didn't flinch but the look he gave you was one you would never forget. It was a blank stare but the look in his blue eyes was one that could only be described as blood thirsty. Before he could say anything you ran off, leaving him alone again.

🌹🌹🌹

You had just arrived back to the dreaded house after your night of ‘work’, which you had spent most of it sulking to yourself. As you walked thought the door you could hear all off your co workers whispering. One of the girls noticed you.

“(Y/N)! The boss wants you, now!” She said demanding.

“Yes, OK” you responded as you walked the bosses room.

You got to his door and before you could even knock he opened it.

“(Y/N) I need to have a little chat with you” he hissed in voice dripping with venom before locking the door.

“A little birdie told me that one of my prostitutes was having a relationship with our rivals" he cooed as he pushed you into a chair.

“So I only found it suitable to get someone to investigate..." he continued as he gave you a ferocious look.

“And what do I find, that you were interacting with a member of Passioné!!” he Screamed as he wrapped his hands around your frail neck, he shook your body and bashed your head against the wooden frame. You saw the murderous expression in his eyes. You started splutter and gasp for air but it was no use, you were going to die. You started to slip in and out of continuous, you heard a phone ring and his hands let go. He picked up the phone, he silently listened and hung up.

“Your a fucking lucky bitch… Giovanni wants you so be fucking grateful that he's giving your sorry ass mercy"

"He want you to move to work for him directly" your boss stated. You could feel tears forming in your eyes and your mouth became dry. You were falling further into this dammed mafia lifestyle. Slowly you could see that light at the end of the tunnel that you kept running for dispersed into darkness.

🌹🌹🌹

For the last two days you had been locked inside one of the many bedrooms this building, only being let out for lunch. You were forbidden to leave the building until one of Giovanni's henchmen came to collect you. It felt so weird, but you missed the night lights, you missed the bustling city.

You looked out the window you looked down to see your former co workers disappearing into the night. You sighed as you grabbed the power cord of the alarm clock and sat on your bed. Your life had no meaning at this point, you were stuck in an endless cycle of depression. If you took your life now you could escape, you could finally be free. A knock on the door pulled you out of your thoughts.

"They're here" you heard the voice of your boss say as you heard the lock click. The door opened, and you saw the one person that you had wished never to see again. Your parent's murderer.

"It's been a long time..." He said monotonously almost like the voice of a robot. You refused to respond.

"You've grown up" he continued.

"I don't think your boss would be happy with you stalling" you spat.

"Well he said I could stay the night and he did ask me to test you out" he said while giving you a smug grin.

"If you think I'm going to have sex with the man who killed my parents, then your sadly mistaken!" you hissed at him. He gave you an irritated expression before pushing you to the ground and pinning you down.

"No, get off of me! I'd rather die!!" You screamed at him. He held both of your wrists in one hand as he used the other to grab out a syringe.

"I knew you weren't going to be easy" he said before violently stabbing the sharp syringe into your arm, you felt the foreign liquid being absorbed into your blood stream as you body started to numb and your vision contoured everything you saw into an abstract form and you started to fade in and out of reality, he had drugged you.

🌹🌹🌹

After some time later you finally got a grip on your mind again, it was still spinning but you we're sure majority of the high was over. You looked around, you were in bed naked, and that scumbag was lying down next to you. It had happened. You had sex with him, you weren't sure if you'd given him consent or not. You had a banging headache that felt like your skull was imploding on your brain. At this point you didn't care anymore you just wanted to go to sleep.

But to your dismay, the door had opened. At first you dismissed it but as the tapping sound of a person walking closer to the bed you started to grow anxious. You opened your eyes but everything was a distorted blur. You rubbed your eyes and looked at the door way.

Bruno was standing only a few steps away from the bed, his hatred filled eyes staring at something on your bedside table. The syringe. His eyes then shifted to you, his glance was enough to melt you. You wanted to speak but your throat was red raw and you had completely lost your voice. You wanted to move but even the slightest movement made you flinch.

Bruno walked to the other side of the bed. He stared down at the man who was sleeping beside you. They say that eyes were the windows to the soul. If this was correct, you were staring into the fiery inferno.

He then grabbed the man and slammed him into a wall and started beating him to a pulp. You sat up and his your naked body with the blankets.

"...Bruno..." Was all that your throat would allow you to say. He looked back at you for a split second before returning it to his victim, who was screaming in pure agony as to your horror, his body started to fall apart limb by limb. You didn't know how Bruno was doing this but is was horrific never the less.

A strange thought entered your mind. Maybe this was just a bad trip, maybe it's just a nightmare. You're probably just seeing him because of the fears that lied within your self-conscious. But what had just happened was confirmed real as he picked up your blanket covered form and walked out of the room.

"From now on I promise you that no one will hurt you ever again"

"And if anyone even so dares to touch you..."

"They will not take another breath"

#yandere x reader #yandere #yandere jjba #bruno buccellati #bruno buccerati #spacy works

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putschki1969 · 5 years

Note

Favourite and least favourite kalafina songs?

Oh boy! Questions like this are always so hard for me. I have no trouble listing my faves but when it comes to my “least favourite songs” it’s a real struggle for me.Those who have known me for a while are probably aware that I am not the hating type. Haters are usually quick to provide a list of all the songs they consider to be “garbage”. But it’s not that easy for me. There might be songs I dislike but there is not a single piece of music by Kalafina that I outright “hate”. I don’t have it within myself to hate or bash something that Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru hold dear to their heart.

Having said that, there are a few pieces that I tend to skip whenever I listen to an album or watch a live performances. So I guess those will be the songs that make up my “least favourite list”. Typically what bothers me will be their “singing-style” (too high, too screechy, too thin/too breathy). Then there are songs that just lack a certain harmony, they sound disjointed to my ears. I don’t know what it is but it keeps me from fully enjoying the music. Last but not least there are songs that have just never managed to touch me on an emotional level. Maybe it’s because I haven’t listened to them often enough, not sure…

Please keep in mind that I do have a weird taste and more often than not my opinions do not align with the overall consensus in the fandom so some of my picks might come as a surprise to you. Without further ado, let’s get started 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

youtube

Top 10 least favourite Kalafina songs (in chronological order)

Love Come Down (aside from not really liking the general sound of the song, I am not a fan of Hikaru’s singing style. Not very flattering and a tad too squeeky…Keiko’s cutesy singing doesn’t help)

in your eyes (in your eyes suffers from the same problem as Love Come Down but at least here I don’t mind the chorus and of course I appreciate the nature of the lyrics. If it weren’t for those lyrics we wouldn’t get all those sexy interactions on stage. But yeah, generally speaking, I don’t go out of my way to listen to this song)

to the beginning (this was probably their first “mainstream” anisong and incidentally it is among my least favourite. There are few Kalafina songs that get the audience as hyped as this one so I know I am pretty much alone with my opinion but yeah, this song doesn’t do much for me unfortunately…I never watched the anime so maybe that’s why)

signal (I know this is a fan favourite but for me this song is just too chaotic. I prefer my songs to follow a certain structure…also not a fan of the accordion…I do however love the drums in the beginning and Hikaru’s general badassery)

misterioso (I wouldn’t go as far as to call this song chaotic but it’s certainly lacking some sort of overreaching harmony. It just feels a little disjointed during certain parts, at least to me)

lapis (sorry Keiko, I wanna like it but I can’t. Something is missing, it’s a bit boring I guess…which is really surprising to me since I am a huge sucker for ballads. I am usually the one who is into all sorts of ballads [e.g.Hokage] which tend to be written off as boring by the rest of the fanbase)

ring your bell (I would probably like this song more if YK had written it differently. Right now it’s just too fast/difficult/high and neither Wakana nor Hikaru can manage those notes without sounding screechy. For the most part YK knew how to use their voices to create amazing music but occasionally I wonder what went through her head when she decided to have the girls sing in a certain way…it’s not flattering at all…on a brighter note,I do love the bridge!)

monochrome (the accordion again…and more chaos….you can see a pattern, right? There is a type of song that I really do not enjoy…which leads me right to the next song on my list…)

Musunde Hiraku (I wanna love it so bad because Wakana in particular loves this song so much. But unfortunately I can’t bring myself to like it. I don’t know what it is but for me it’s another one of those unsettling songs that feel kinda all over the place. I also just noticed that a lot of the songs I dislike have one thing in common, they don’t have a proper build-up, they start rather boldy and sudden, it almost sounds random. Not sure how to explain it but it applies to misterioso, signal, monochrome and Musunde Hiraku)

blaze (this doesn’t really deserve to be on the list since I don’t think it’s any worse than let’s say heavenly blue or One Light which I both like a lot. However, I haven’t been able to connect with the song at all ever since it was released. I think it’s mainly because I have never seen it performed live. Yes, I have watched footage but I have never actually been there for one of the performances. Plus, I think the song just doesn’t get enough attention from me. I am sure if I listened to it more often I would start appreciating it. It’s really not a bad song)

Top 10 favourite Kalafina songs (in chronological order)

Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaete Iku (does this even need any explanation? I think we all know that this is my all-time favourite Kala-song. I even plan to get a tattoo of parts of the lyrics one day…there are no words to describe the love I have for this song. Forever grateful that they sang it at their 10th Anniversary Live and that I got to hear Wakana perform the acoustic version at her symphony concert)

ARIA (it is without a doubt one of their best songs and it made me fall in love with Hikaru so for me it’s all the more special. Unlike most people, I actually prefer the “new” version of ARIA because there is just more emotion behind it. They really nailed it at their 10th Anniversary Live. Personally I like to use ARIA to introduce Kalafina to other people. It’s a great introduction song)

Natsu no Ringo (I don’t know the exact moment but at one point I realised how very much I love this song. It happened without me noticing. Don’t get me wrong, I always liked it but I never really considered it to be among my favourite songs. But throughout the years, I started listening to it more and more. Turns out that right now this is actually among my most-listened-to tracks on my playlist. Who would have thought…?)

red moon (duh…one of Kalafina’s most epic songs. How can it not be on this list? There is a reason it is loved by so many people and why they performed it at pretty much all of their lives. If there is one song that’s representative of the awesomeness that is Kalafina then it is “red moon”)

Magia (another epic song and one more example of why I love Hikaru. I know, I tend to favour Wakana and Keiko most of the time, I guess that boils down to personal taste. However, I have just as much love for Hikaru because with songs like this she manages to touch my heart with her passion and emotional delivery)

Yane no Mukou ni (just like Natsu no Ringo, this song snuck up on me. I always liked it but until recently I had no idea how much I actually loved it. Seems like I have a huge weakness for summer ballads)

Hikari Furu (the singing, the harmonies, the melody, the lyrics, this is a perfect ballad. A perfect song. Wakana is killing it in all the more recent performances. And I can never get enough of Keiko’s “mabushii asa”)

Tsuioku (instant love. When it first got released I listened to nothing but this song. All day long. It’s forever stuck in my head and I love it to death)

Koibito no Mukashigatari no Yuugure no (do I even have to say anything? Amazing harmonies, so much epicness. Seeing this live was life-changing)

Hokage (this must seem like the most random choice to a majority of the fandom. It’s one of those ballads that never got a lot of love because it’s apparently too much like all the previous Kalafina ballads but not as good as them. I beg to differ. There is something about Hokage that strikes me on a very emotional level. Not so much the lyrics because those are not all too special. It’s the melody that makes this song stand out to me. Then there’s Wakana’s singing and Keikio’s lower harmonies…absolutely divine. Last but not least, that combination of the piano and cello! I could listen to this song every day and not get tired of it. I agree that Hokage sounds a lot like some of their older songs [e.g. sapphire] and I honestly enjoy them all equally but for some reason Hokage has a special place in my heart)

Honourable mentions

sprinter (it’s no secret, I have never liked the regular version. A few years back this might as well have been part of my least favourite list. But when I watched their Arena Live acoustic version, I had an epiphany. Ever since then I can’t get enough of this song. It’s a tragic ballad at its heart but the up-beat nature of the original version managed to trick me into believing that it was something entirely different. It was my own fault for not looking up the lyrics sooner. Back in the day when I first listened to “sprinter” I didn’t know any Japanese and later on I always skipped the song…so yeah, it took me ages to appreciate the song and I definitely prefer the acoustic version so I thought I shouldn’t mention it in either of my lists)

Kagayaku Sora no Shijima ni Wa (this was my very first Kalafina song that immediately made me fall in love with them. It has a special place in my heart and I can never get enough of it but there are just other that I love more so it didn’t manage to get into my top 10)

We Wish You A Merry Christmas (since this is a cover I feel like it doesn’t really count but there is no way I cannot mention it because I absolutely ADORE this song. It has become my all-time favourite Christmas song and I am listening to it literally every season of the year)

Hyakka Ryouran (this is by far my favourite among their more “generic” anime theme songs but I might be a bit biased since it’s the only one where I provided a translation of the lyrics so I thought it would be best to list it here as part of my honourable mentions. Unlike most fans I do like a fair share of their mainstream anisongs. I actually love “heavenly blue” as well as “One Light”. And if it weren’t for Wakana’s strained singing style I would be all over “believe” because I really like the melody.)

#kalafina #reply #wakana #keiko #hikaru #favourite songs #least favourite songs #Anonymous

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eligos-venator · 5 years

Text

Questionnaire :: Eligos Venator

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Eligos Cen Venator NICKNAME: Eli AGE: 27 BIRTHDAY: He forgot it and just counts up at the start of a new year. ETHNIC GROUP: Garlean [Born with an Atavism] NATIONALITY: Garlemald LANGUAGE/S: Common [Eorzean], Hingan, Garlean, Thanavarian SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Straight RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Disinterested HOME TOWN / AREA: Garlemald CURRENT HOME: Mists Apartment PROFESSION: Mercenary, Minion-for-hire

[ Cut due to length. Read the rest below! ]

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Short, jet black hair that is rarely combed properly. EYES: Gold, highly reflective FACE: Somewhat Angular LIPS: Thin COMPLEXION: Pale BLEMISHES: None SCARS: Only the one across the eye. Body is abnormally free of them otherwise. TATTOOS: None HEIGHT: 5′10” WEIGHT: Average BUILD: Athletic build. Highly Muscular. FEATURES: Canines are longer and are sharp fangs as a result of the atavism. Has a short, well groomed beard. ALLERGIES: None [He claims stupid people, but that’s a lie.] USUAL HAIR STYLE: Short and messy. USUAL FACE LOOK: Smiling and seeming carefree, though well aware of current surroundings. USUAL CLOTHING: Magitech Armors if working. Long-sleeved jackets and suits when not working. Short-sleeved clothing only when weather is extremely hot or at home.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Starvation. Wasting Away. ASPIRATION/S: To amass wealth so that he can retire in peace and luxury. POSITIVE TRAITS: Extremely intelligent. Tolerant and patient when dealing with others. Curious and eager to learn. Reliable and honors his contracts to the letter. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Massive Ego. Untrusting. Amoral. Easily Distracted. TEMPERAMENT: Calm, Friendly, Cheerful SOUL TYPE/S: Gunbreaker/Machinist ANIMALS: Ibri, a hunting hawk with a foul attitude. VICE HABIT/S: Loves to gamble, but will try to rig each game to be in his favor. FAITH: Only in himself. GHOSTS?: No AFTERLIFE?: No REINCARNATION?: No POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Disinterested EDUCATION LEVEL: Nearly graduated from the Magitek Academy in Garlemald as a bioweapons researcher. Finished remaining education on own time after.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Caledon Cen Venator MOTHER: Palmira Cen Venator SIBLINGS: None EXTENDED FAMILY: None NAME MEANING/S: Eligos is the name of a demon of Ars Goetia. The demon in question knows the future of wars and is depicted as a goodly knight. Eligos takes this and tries to incorporate white armor in some fashion to honor his namesake, even if not all of the armors he has used are knightly in appearance. HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: N/A

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Anatomy books for research. Is happy with any science-fiction book for inspiration. DEITY: Worshipping gods is as bad as worshipping Eikons, as far as Eligos is concerned. HOLIDAY: None [Rarely gets hired during holiday seasons] SEASON: Winter PLACE: Indoors, either in front of magitek or in bed with a good book in hand. WEATHER: Snowfall & Light Rains SOUND / S: Rainfall upon a roof. The hiss of hydraulics. SCENT / S: Burning Ceruleum. Oil. TASTE / S: Aged Red Wines. FEEL / S: A soft bed with a heavy blanket. The feel of a pan or kitchen utensil in hand. ANIMAL / S: Loves all animals, but they tend to hate him in return. NUMBER: 5: The number of cards in a poker hand. COLORS: Black, White, Gray

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Magitek Construction & Design. Creation of Explosives. Skilled Tactician. Close Ranged Combat. Cooking & Cleaning. BAD AT: Being Humble. Being Courteous. Respecting those who shun technology. Showing Empathy. Filtering own words. TURN ONS: Self-Confidence. Independence. Sharp Wit. Strong Will. Physical Strength. Good Style. TURN OFFS: Stupid or Slow People. Nervousness & Uncertainty. Willful Ignorance. Short Tempers. HOBBIES: Cooking. Magitek Disassembly & Construction. People Watching. TROPES: The Combat Engineer. Demolitions Expert. Combat Pragmatist. QUOTES: "Don't rely upon gods or man to deliver a miracle in your hour of need. Manufacture it yourself."

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about? Unfortunately, Glorious Bastards is already taken. So instead it would just be a comedy, in the same style as The Dictator, featuring Eligos’s view of Eorzea and the problems encountered in trying to adapt to life in it.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like? “Machines Collide” by Frank Klepacki and most of the MGS: Revengeance soundtrack for combat. “The Devil You Know” by Blues Saraceno for social interactions.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character? I wanted a change of pace, really. My prior character was patient, but he was also not outgoing enough to engage people on his own terms nor able to really carry a conversation. I also wanted to play a character that was more upbeat and less depressing, and so the overly cheerful bastard Garlean was conceived as a character.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character? Design, design, design. I am not ashamed to admit I’m extremely picky with armor types and equipment when making sets. Slight clipping drives me up a wall and I’ll often scrap a set due to some overlap or small detail that doesn’t look right, like the metal trim colors not lining up perfectly. Using a Hyur model for the Garlean meant I could wear almost all armors and have them look right, versus the issues I ran into playing Au Ra and Elezen characters who are a bit stretched out and so they are more limited in choice that works really well.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. Eligos tends to look down on those around him that he feels can’t keep up with him. He is very technology oriented, and because of that he also tends to view those who refuse to adapt to the times as lesser, simpler beings.

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse? We both are very easily entertained beings. It doesn’t take much to amuse me, and Eligos is much the same in that he seeks joy and finds it in the small things in life.

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you? Eligos would get bored very quickly and just walk off. He would probably just forget me within ten minutes of meeting me.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ? Can’t say! Each person he’s met so far has managed to draw different aspects of his personality out and into play. With some he’s more patient and quiet, letting them speak at length, and yet with others he’s played the part of unwanted pest, peppering with questions that are borderline insults as he prods to see what makes Eorzeans tick the way they do and trying to understand them better.

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ? Mostly it’s music that inspires me or urges me to write more for Eligos. I have a playlist I tend to listen to when I want to write the character, or I play a song or two by Sabaton.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ? I didn’t track the time. At least an hour.

Tagged by: @roleplay-aficionado [Thank you for the tag!] Tagging: @divine-ruin @nocturnedreaming @arcurisrilanox @mitsunerokuyari @ivyffxiv @trahja-tia @wildgirlcinna @shroudkeeper @againstthewiind @cottoncnyandy @cadrenebula @jorandalkitor @handofcards @twelvesavethequeen @theshieldedhero @mteshi-ffxiv @of-shadow-and-storm and anyone else interested in doing this!

#asks and memes #thank you for the tag!#questionaire meme

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summerspn · 5 years

Text

Batwoman

2019 series > Ep 1-3

*sigh*

Okay here goes...I’m going to break it down for you:

The trailers & ads:

I was skeptical about watching this show as all the trailers for it were terrible.

As a woman I can honestly say each and every trailer made me cringe & go ‘stop!’. They were SO bad.

But, that’s not the actors’ fault. They’re given lines they have to deliver on & Ruby Rose seemed to deliver on those decently enough I suppose.

In the trailers, my biggest issue was the terrible dialogue & poor makeup/wardrobe.

The campy style Batwoman costume & the sloppy bat tattoos...ugh! Why would anyone think that would be appealing?!

Now, onto the show...

There is one & ONLY one reason I watched this show...my mom! I figured I had to give it a shot. But it was not because my mom like it. She in fact, hated it!

My mom, who loves everything from medical & criminal dramas, to shows about witchcraft & medieval times. She somehow even loves campy movies like Dark Shadows. She’s a huge fan of Wonder Woman (comics, tv show & recent movie). She loved the Captain Marvel movie. She is a comic fan and loved Batman & Batwoman growing up.

Yet, she hates this show!

After seeing videos & online posts ALL saying it’s because non fans hate the show because they’re bigots, that’s not true.

The show is awful - so I suppose the trailers were accurate.

My mother could care less what people do for their own pleasure- and like she taught us, “as long as no one’s being hurt & it’s consensual, who cares?”

So right now, just to paint you a picture, neither her nor I care about the lesbian storyline in Batwoman. I don’t care if she’s gay straight, bi, attracted to pumpkins etc. Have at it.

The reason I chose to watch this show is because my mother loves fun well written entertainment & sometimes just silly fluff to get her mind off reality. And as my best friend we have that in common. Our viewing tastes are very similar. So when my mom says something was terrible, it piques my interest (much more than those awful trailers).

The actors:

Most of the actors aren’t bad. Since Dougray Scott is in this I take it as a comparison amongst the others. If you don’t know who he is ...he was in Ever After, Desperate Housewives, Fear the Walking Dead, Hemlock Grove and a thousand other projects. He’s a good actor. However, in Batwoman he has a few mistakes with his accent & delivery of a few lines (much fewer mistakes than the rest of the cast).

But all the actors have mis-steps with their lines & delivery of the lines. Whose job is it to stop them & try again until it’s good? The director

Some actors aren’t as strong as others but after watching the show, I think the strongest actors are: Dougray Scott, Nicole Kang, & Rachel Skarsten. They seem to work with what they’ve got. Trying their best. But the dialogue!

There was a line about Kate Kane having mixed feelings for her sister & didn’t want her hurt because “Duh, feelings”. .... 🙄...she’s a medical student?? The writers gave the actor THAT to work with? Okay...um, they couldn’t have done a second draft and tweaked it? You didn’t find it needed a little more work? Like wrote this instead “it’s only natural to be conflicted...” which makes her sound intelligent. Instead, “Duh, feelings”?!

Unfortunately we come down to Ruby Rose. She’s not a good actress. She seemed to be more talented in the trailers than the actual show but that was because she showed something I like to call emotion.

What happened? Every single line RR delivers has zero affect. Even when she’s literally smiling there is no emotion in her eyes....what only makes her look psychotic. And she moves her eyebrows up & down sooooo much. It’s distracting.

However, she (like the other actors) does seem to be trying. With that said, if you can’t be pulled into the character or the actors’ take on them then it suspends disbelief.

I have nothing against Ruby Rose but knowing she was a model gives context. They work with their eyebrows a lot & any acting they do is for about 20 seconds of a commercial. It’s clear that RR is tackling the tv show like she would a modeling job. Only now she has a s****y wardrobe.

However, she can’t act. She is monotonous & sounds robotic.

I do think though that’s made worse by the director probably not pushing to do enough takes. Sometimes directors instruct actors to act a certain way which makes them sound worse.

Ie) Hayden Christensen acted beautifully in an old tv show where he played a victim of molestation. In Star Wars a Phantom Menace he was apparently told to act more annoyed then angry so voila he came across as a brat...

So I do wonder what influence the director had here.

The wardrobe/makeup:

Papa Kane, Leaders of the Crows, my man Dougray...yes he still looks good in his suits but he’s always shown wearing the same suit. Wardrobe actually helps tell a story especially in a show like this. But it’s like the budget is too small or the director forgot about anyone other than Kate & Beth.

Morning scenes, have him with a little extra stubble, some make up to look like he has dark circles under his eyes. Ruffle his hair. Have him sitting in a hideous vintage t-shirt while they have breakfast. Kate could see how awful he looks and ask “did you get any sleep?” Then they could talk about how worried he is for the city, Kate, or even thinking about Beth! Kate could see the shirt & go “didn’t I get you that?” And he says “yeah for my birthday” and she says “that was ten years ago”.Boom! Shows he loves his daughter & a tiny bonding moment. ...but this never happened.

Luke Fox. Somehow they took an attractive actor and made him look about 20 years older just by wearing glasses that belong to Angela from Who’s the Boss!

Give Luke some 2019 glasses that sit properly on his nose! And the same for the rest of his clothes. They don’t fit right. The show is trying to nerd him up but you can make people awkward, nerdy , or quirky without downplaying their looks. Have Fox wear jeans with his vests, or a fun t-shirt with a suit jacket etc.

Kate Kane. She has the worst wardrobe in the show! Though Batwoman’s suit looks tacky & campy...

Give Kate nicer clothes! They do not need to be expensive but they do need to give her a personality.

1) Plaid...why? Lesbians wearing plaid is a stereotype so WHY would this show advertising itself as modern & breaking the barriers have their main character wearing something so cliche? Makes zero sense. However, since plaid (aka tartan) is making a comeback in fashion they could have used it (if they really had to) in another piece of clothing. A scarf, gloves, shoes? (I actually have a pair of red plaid boots which are durable and adorable). Throwing on a plaid shirt is just lazy.

2) Her hair. Okay so if they’re going for the short-during-military-training look I get it but Ruby Rose has the same hairstyle in everything. I wish she’d just either grow it out or chop it all off. They could have had a scene where she’s fiddling with it in the mirror like she’s self conscious about the new do...showing human insecurities.

3) The leather jacket. Sigh... okay this is my personal opinion but I think the black leather jacket in shows is used too much. It immediately signals strength & a tough exterior right? Well literally everyone knows this. It’s not subtle. I mean I love how it was used on Supernatural where the coat had a history but it was tied into a backstory and eventually was used less and less. But the leather coat was used more in early seasons (which was as far as 15 yrs ago). Other shows always have the ‘bad boy’ wear the jacket. It’s so boring. I’d rather if Kate strolled you wearing a fun typographic shirt or a basic t-shirt and have an expensive belt because she has a thing for belts (subtly nodding to one Batwoman has to use).

There were many choices other than a basic plaid top and black leather jacket. Wardrobe decisions that could give the character/actor subtle layers or tools to work with. But that too was done lazily.

Set design:

Dark & gloomy? ✅

Isolated & abandoned feeling? ✅

Appropriate to the corresponding event... 🙈 not so much.

Ie) the bridge where the family’s car fell off. Whether it’s done with cgi or finding the right location, the bridge in question was generic. Now if the bridge was higher up and/or there were super super wild & crazy rapids maybe, just maybe we’d believe Batman thought Beth was a goner. But it was actual fairly tame so it made Batman look like he just saw the car hanging and go “hey my shift ended an hour ago” and walk off.

And,

The “secret” entrance to the bat cave is in Wayne enterprises? Wouldn’t that be hard to get to? I can picture Bruce hanging around in the garage waiting to go in...he starts over to the door, someone comes, he stops...ya know because everyone knows him...

It’s just weird. There were so many other options.

Special effects:

Some have been pretty bad so far. This is a CW trait. I don’t know if they separate the budget for the directors or not. Is it all one lump number or are they told ‘this is for the production & this is for the special effects?’. I wonder because other CW shows seem to have tiny budgets allocated to the effects. In any case, a show about super villains & heroes needs bigger budgets so it looks more believeable.

The writing:

The writing is just bad. Writing lines like “duh sisters” for a character who is supposed to be educated & intelligent seems ridiculous.

Question - if Bruce Wayne has family why didn’t he stay with them when his parents died? Or they with him? Is this a plot hole from the comics or just this show?

Unrealistic. Yes it’s a superhero story but we care less if the person has all their skills & abilities immediately.

My bff and I love superhero shows but we both had the same problems here as with Supergirl. She just had her powers & didn’t really struggle with them. I watched 2 episodes & was bored already.

Batwoman was so boring but I wanted to see if it got better. It hasn’t.

This show needed to spend episode 1 where she’s discovering how bad Gotham was without Batman & where he went. Is he doing a really long pub crawl? Saving people in another country/city? Dead? Kate shows zero concern for her missing cousin & for some reason, hates him.

Kate immediately knowing how to use the bat equipment with zero practices...how at the beginning she’s swimming in ice water for no reason and doesn’t get hypothermia?? That’s all very unbelievable.

Kate is written as Mary Sue. She knows all & has the most skills in the world! Why??? Okay so she was in the military so yeah give her a backstory of taking taekwondo classes or something but for her to know how to do Luke Fox’s job better than he does? Or where the cameras are at Wayne Enterprises...more than the security team?? And to know what the computer password is, okay... basically she has to be great at everything & the other characters have to be written dumb in order for Kate to be appealing. Why?

Bashing Batman...in a show based in the bat-universe. Terrible move. Kate doing this repeatedly makes us think she’s a villain. Not a hero.

Bashing everyone with male genitalia...makes Kate look like a pr*ck. You can hate certain men you’ve known but to constantly reference women as being superior to men...

1) negates equal rights. You can’t be equals if you act/think/say you’re superior.

2) any boys watching this show is going to feel like something is wrong with them.

3) it’s sexist.

Just like many of us women grew up hearing repeatedly that men were better at this & that...

4) male bashing IS spreading hate. STOP.

That is actually why (more than anything) I didn’t want to watch in the first place because of how the trailers made it sound like they were bashing a whole gender.

Too much too soon. Revealing Alice is Beth in the first episode? Why? Drag it out an episode or 2. Each episode is both boring and yet they try to cram everything into a single episode it’s bizarre.

Ridiculous scenarios. Like Batman would leave a child to drown. And why didn’t Beth/Alice just go home or contact the police...or anyone...when she got out of the water all those years ago? Why does Kate keep letting her sister go when the woman is a multi-murderer?!

Yes, Kate is still hung up on her ex but it was years ago & she was the one dumped. And Sophie is married so Kate is coming off like a stalker 👀

All of it makes Kate look unsympathetic & unlikeable. The show isn’t funny except when we hear bad dialogue. It’s trying to be overly dramatic like a soap opera but it still doesn’t work. I think that’s due to the writing & the directing.

Now don’t get me wrong, even with RR’s lack of acting skills there are ways of making it work...that weren’t done.

Keanu’s Reeves isn’t the most skillful actor but he tries. He’s good at certain things & sticks to it. He knows where his skills are. Yes he’s improved but he’ll never be able to pull off an intense dramatic role. So he sticks to what he’s good at. He’s also a good person & tries to talk openly & intelligently about things so he has people’s respect IRL.

Ruby Rose has been touchy & volatile about people criticizing Batwoman. That made me lose what little respect I had for her.

Awhile back I had tried watching this design show (yes I like those too) Love it Or List It Vancouver. The show was fine but the designer Jillian was being critiqued left right & Center on social media after the pilot episode for sounding like a child. She used phrases such as; “totally”,”for sure” , and used the word ‘like’ a thousand times... she really did sound like a valley girl. However, about 5 episodes later that was gone. She was speaking more eloquently and more grown up - which in turn made people like her more. She & the show worked to help improve her speech patterns so it wouldn’t be distracting. And the show has been around for years now.

My point? RR could have taken the criticism & worked with it. I get she’s probably upset as she worked hard but we all go through it. We all have a project of some kind at work that falls flat. We take the criticism & try to improve. RR could take acting lessons or at the very least, practice in the mirror.

Most of the other issues I’ve mentioned are a result of the awful writing, poor direction & likely some interference from the network.

What this show should never have done was act superior. That’s being a douche. Anytime I see or hear someone being arrogant like that I just roll my eyes and walk away (or in this case, turn the channel).

If anyone working for the CW and/or Batwoman reads this I hope you’ll take some pointers.

I like myself too much though to subject myself to anymore episodes though. I’m done. ✌️

#batwoman #tv serials #tv #tv shows #cw #ruby rose #dougray scott #elizabeth anweis #rachel skarsten #nicole kang #camrus johnson #gabriel mann #giles panton #meaghan tandy #kate kane #batman #batman bashing #woke #woman

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necropsittacus · 5 years

Note

answer all the ones you have an interesting answer for, i guess?

i had FAR too much fun with this and it’s horrifically long so. Apologies For That. also thank you friend

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)i really want some finches, when i'm actually in a place to care for an animal? maybe a pigeon3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?in real life i actually Wear button downs and black jeans most of the time for convenience. *ideally* it would be something more like "unholy union of like three different goth aesthetics, and sith fashion, and also Pirate. and spikes/chains/glowy lights." it's probably good for everyone else's eyes that i'm too cheap to redo my entire wardrobe in line with my ideal aesthetic sensibilities. i also have a set color scheme; at most one bright color, which is generally red, blue, or purple, and everything else should be black or grey. 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]melancholic with choleric leanings.9: Are you ticklish?nope! im pretty sure i trained myself out of it 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?tea. i like the taste of coffee if it's very heavily creamed and sugared but it does terrible things to my body so i don't drink it. too much chocolate also makes me sick14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?VAMPIRE. practically already am. 16: How tall are you?5'7"-5'8". measurements have varied. 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?starscreamthis one is Already a name change? i've been through a few names and honestly i'm pretty happy with "ren." i thought about changing to something people could actually spell right on the first try, but nothing Felt right? 20: Do you like space or the ocean more?ocean! but both are pretty neat21: Are you religious?yes, but it's not remotely clear what i actually believe, just that it's Something 23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?i'm already practically nocturnal tbh and it's fun 30: Favorite movie?i really appreciate the star wars prequels32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?nine; six fish and three budgies, not all at the same time37: What is your eye color?green38: Introvert or extrovert?i think the whole dichotomy is a bit overhyped and doesn't exactly apply to me. my situation is more that i act like extroverts are "supposed" to with close friends but people i don't already know and like very much are deeply exhausting to be around and i'd rather not40: Hugs or kisses?depends. hand/forehead/cheek/etc kisses are intensely blessed and important to me, but i don't particularly enjoy making out or whatnot, and hugs are Very nice. 42: Who is someone you love deeply?tumblr user @autisticsansa44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?yeah!45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?yeah, occasionally. obligatory disclaimer that it's a terrible habit and you shouldn't start. it's more a "i'm extremely anxious and need to do SOMETHING" thing than a regular habit, though. 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]several. it's just not 100% clear which ones. the most recent Professional Opinion was OCD and CPTSD with probably related anxiety and depression. also autism but i don't think that's quite the same thing58: What does your URL mean?it's a pun on "neurodivergent" that i stole from someone else's post about liches61: What makes you unfollow a blog?if your opinions start pissing me off too much or you post things i consider morally objectionable or dangerous to me. also if we have a sufficiently bad personal fight. i don't really care if a mutual or someone i've been following for a long time stops having common interests with me or anything like that, at that point i'm invested in You as a Person and will stick around for that64: Favorite animal(s):all birds. also cetaceans69: What is your star sign?i'm a fake scorpio. i have been telling people i'm a scorpio and tagging zodiac posts accordingly for literal years, out of a combination of the stereotype applying to me much better than the one for my Actual Birthday and residual influence from homestuck. 76: Do you like birds?i LOVE birds.86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?i can't run a mile at ALL i'll have an asthma atatck88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?no and trying hurts90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?goth cockatoo94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?both of those sound fantastic. i want to say fly, though, both because bird thing!!!!, my latest batch of Attachment/Projection Characters has me thinking about the idea a lot, and mind reading seems like it would likely become a burden on me. i struggle enough with other people's feelings about me as it is96: Winter or summer?winter. summer is consistently a miserable time for me101: Favorite type of shoesaesthetically, high heeled black lace up boots. irl i mostly wear combat boots, though103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?vegetarian. i don't really Know why; it was how i was raised, i have no actual desire to eat meat, and i'm reasonably certain trying to start now would interact disastrously with a lot of my preexisting food issues. also, some of you are incapable of not responding to asshole vegans by acting like eating meat is a moral imperative and it's ok to bully people who don't. so even if i did want to, i wouldn't out of sheer spite106: Do you like bugs?depends on the kind. bees/wasps, dragonflies, and butterfly/moth type things are all fine. i'm deathly afraid of crickets107: Do you like spiders?yeah! i think they're cute109: Can you draw:not very well, but i keep doing it anyway114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?cloudy. bright light tends to hurt me115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:i'm in an odd place right now where i'm either not sure if the people i'm closest to (and/or most want to Become close with) would be comfortable with anything of the sort, or know for a fact that they wouldn't be, so i'm going to refrain from naming anyone, but certain friends129: What would you want written on your tombstone?"túrin turambar dagnir glaurunga." for old times' sake/the sentimental value. i doubt christopher tolkien would give anyone permission for that, though131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?arrogance, ambition, drive to succeed out of sheer Spite. it's a very good aesthetic, but i don't imagine it's very pleasant to actually *interact* with someone with a complex about being #1 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?nope. i exclusively either smirk or keep my face as blank as possible; i don't think smiling like that looks good on me. 133: Computer or TV?computer. i don't actually know how to operate a television139: What nicknames do you have/have had?a lot. tends to come with changing your name 500 times. atm i don't really have any, to my slight disappointment140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?i had imaginary enemies as a kid143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?depends? it's hard for me to help people, especially to guess what kind of thing actually Is helpful to them, and i absolutely LOVE being given things, but also if i know someone well enough that we're giving each other things i would feel absolutely terrible not reciprocating, and doing it makes me happy. 145: How many languages do you speak fluently?only english, unfortunately. i have like a six year olds level of russian, which i want to improve, and i think i Could get there with japanese eventually if i start taking classes again147: Are you androgynous?honestly i can't really tell? not deliberately so, particularly, but i think i have a very Traditionally Feminine kind of pretty face and the way that combines with mostly masculine presentation and facial hair is pretty androgynous148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:this isn't a Specific Thing per se, but i do think HRT has been taking my appearance in a very "g1 seeker" direction and i am DELIGHTED151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?hm. viking stuff is a Big Aesthetic, but also i think i deserve to be a sickly victorian gentleman and die of tuberculosis154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?YES. this is one of my favorite forms of affection irl. also hand kissing is The Most Valid kind of kissing. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?yes!!!157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:talking to people when i'm not 100% sure where i stand with them or how much they like me. especially if i'm requesting anything.168: Do you like to wear makeup?i used to. i probably still would if i could do it without being read as a woman, but as it is the discomfort of being misgendered outweighs the joy of Having Sparkly Colors on My Face

#long post #ask memes #circus to air missile #VERY long post im sorry i. got a bit carried away #smoking ment

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shay-del-rey · 6 years

Text

Yayo | Sweet Pea x Reader

Fandom: Riverdale

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Rating: T (for now). Also, some swearing and offensive language

Words: 1785

Summary: Reader struggles with her feelings for Sweet Pea.

A/N: Guys, I’m so sorry for the length but hopefully this is okay. Title, inspired by Queen Lana. Also, second part to this fic, yay or nay? Enjoy xx

I like the snake on your tattoo – Lana Del Rey

SOUTHSIDE High School was a hot mess.

As you were inspected for contraband before entering the school premises, your thoughts strayed to how much your life had changed over the years.

You worked part-time at Pop’s Chock-Lit Shoppe. Pop’s was kind enough to offer you a job after your parents split. Your mother separated from your father, a top-ranking member of the Southside Serpents, because she couldn’t take his affiliation to the gang anymore.

You were thankful for your job, which helped pay the bills and eased the burden on your mother, who worked full-time as a cashier at a supermarket on the Southside.

Life was tough, but you both managed to make ends meet. A proud woman, your mother refused any and all forms of assistance the Serpents tried to provide.

To your surprise, you had managed to strike a friendship with his Jughead Jones, a boy your age who went to Riverdale High.

Jughead, nicknamed the Serpent Prince, had transferred to the Southside a few months earlier and was under the wing of the younger Serpents. He also stayed at the same trailer park as you.

Thankfully, you were not a member of any gang. However, you were still the daughter of a Serpent, which meant in spite of you not willingly interacting with any of the younger members, you were still under their protection.

You sighed as you walked towards your locker and ignored the drugged up teens huddled in the corner of the hallway, too juiced up on jingle jangle.

Just as you opened your locker, you heard someone clear their throat. You turned and scowled at the blonde boy in front of you. The Draco Malfoy-lookalike and all around asshole, Avery, clad in a black, silver studded Ghoulies jacket.

He sported a cocky smile on his face and folded his skinny arms in an attempt to intimidate.

“How ya doin’, lil lady?”

“Buzz off, creep.”

“Ooh, not very friendly. Don’t be a bitch, Y/N. You know you want this,” he said as he grabbed his crotch and gave you a lewd look.

“Not even in your dreams, asshole.”

You turned to walk away when he gripped your arm and twisted it. You cried out in pain but the tight grip he had on your arm was removed in mere seconds.

You winced as you rubbed the sore spot, fairly certain it would bruise before you looked up at the scene unfolding in front of you.

Sweet Pea, the towering young Serpent and Tall Boy’s protégé, stood as a shield between you and Avery. He seethed as he punched Avery and pretty soon, there was a Serpents versus Ghoulies brawl right before first period.

Irritated, you tried to move past the crowd that had gathered, only to be stopped by Toni Topaz, the pink-haired girl. “You okay, L/N?”

“I’ll survive, Topaz. Thanks for the help,” you said before shoving past her and entering English class.

Thankfully, students started to trickle in just as the new teacher called the class to attention and announced that students would be pairing up for the class to work on a paper.

You sighed as your name was called alongside Sweet Pea’s. You gathered your books and headed to the back of the class and dropped into the seat next to him, acutely aware of his eyes on you.

“You okay?” he said, his voice a husky purr that reminded you of smooth and aged whiskey.

You nodded, ignoring the urge to look at him. You and Sweet Pea had a complicated history. As a kid, you always trailed after your father when he worked at the local garage owned by the Serpents. Tall Boy and FP Jones usually joined your dad, and they in turn were joined by some of the younger boys.

Hair tugging and playful fights had grown into you nursing the biggest crush on Sweet Pea. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same way, as he had told you during a picnic at the quarry when you were 13.

Maybe that was for the best, since your mum would blow a gasket if she found out you were involved with a Serpent.

You were startled when he gently rolled the sleeve of your top to reveal the blackish blue marks that had formed on your forearm.

“Y/N? You know I have to tell him, right?”

Irritated, you looked at him, his brown hues meeting your eyes. “I’m not a Serpent, Sweet Pea. You don’t need to run off to Dad and tell him anything.”

“That idiot hurt you. Old Man Y/L/N deserves to know.”

“No, he doesn’t. Now, can you drop this so we can work on our project? Or at least, I can work and you can do whatever?”

You snatched your hand from his and turned your attention back to the project. Surprisingly, he didn’t say a word as he sat back and watched you work.

You were never so glad to hear the ring of the bell as you hastily gathered your books and left in a hurry, his scrutinising gaze still on your form.

The rest of your classes flew in a hurry and by lunch time, you were ready to unwind. Lunch tray in hand, you walked to your group of friends, Justine and Carla.

You passed the Serpents table and caught a glimpse of Sweet Pea laughing loudly with Fangs Fogarty and a few other male friends.

The raven-haired male turned his sight towards you, his full lips lifting in a smile, his apple cheeks enhancing his angular features which made him seem even more handsome.

Keeping your face expressionless, you moved to sit beside your friends.

“This day cannot get any worse,” Carla moaned.

“What happened? Is it school or your dad again?” Justine sagely asked.

“Things have just been blowing up at home. I can’t wait to go out and let loose tonight.”

You looked up. “Tonight? What’s tonight?”

“Lenny’s party, remember? He invited us? I personally need alcohol and good dick. That is all.”

You choked on the sandwich you were eating. “Really, Carls? I mean, I don’t mind going since I’m not working tonight. Just drinks for me, though.”

Both girls exchanged a look before grinning at you. “So absolutely no chance of you fucking Sweet Pea?” Justine asked.

“What the fuck, guys? I’m not into him. Besides, Mum will gut me if I even think about hooking up with a Serpent.”

“Geez, okay. So can I have him?” Carla asked, twirling a strand of hair as she gazed towards the Serpents.

You ignored the sudden spike of jealousy and shrugged.

“Okay, regardless, we’re still going. Dress to the nines, ladies, because we need to kill it!” Justine said.

BEER in hand, you gently swayed to the stirring chords of Bauhaus’ Dancing. Lenny Smith was a douche but the guy had great taste in music.

Your friends had snuck off a while ago, grinning as they dragged two unfamiliar boys behind them.

Running a hand through your hair, you felt buzzed as you sipped on your eighth beer for the night. Or was it the tenth? You remained blissfully unaware and for the first time in a long time, you felt free.

Minutes later, you were in need of a refill and headed towards the kitchen when you tripped. You would have fallen flat on your face if you hadn’t grabbed on to the nearest person.

Luckily for you, the person was sturdy and did not falter even during your klutz move. Righting yourself, you looked up to offer your thanks when you found yourself gazing into warm pools of chocolate.

Sweet Pea looked down at you, a smile tugging at his lips as he raked his eyes over your outfit. Feeling emboldened, you smiled back at him.

You knew you looked good. Carla had been by earlier to help you dress and she had selected a green halter neck dress that shaped your figure just right, hugging your curves.

“Y/N, fancy seeing you here,” Sweet Pea murmured.

It seemed the alcohol had lowered your inhibitions. ��I thought you mighty Serpents didn’t attend such frivolous events.”

He frowned. “How much have you had to drink?”

You giggled. “Who knows! It’s a party, Sweet Pea! We’re supposed to get drunk out of our minds!”

He looked unamused.

“Come on, Pea. Come get a drink with me.”

“Absolutely not. I’m taking you home.”

“Don’t be such a buzzkill, man. I’m going to get a drink.”

“Like hell. I’m cutting you off, Princess.”

You stumbled slightly as he moved away from you. With that, he bent and lifted you bridal style and carried you out as you nestled your head in his neck.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” you slurred.

“I can. You might not be a Serpent but you’re still family. As much as you and your Mum hate it.”

The chill of the night air hit you as soon as you were outside. Glancing up, you could make out the ink on the left side of his neck, the Southside Serpents emblem tattooed in his skin.

Unthinking, you traced the tattoo with your index finger as he shivered. You could not glean whether his reaction was caused by the cold or your touch.

“I love your tattoo. It’s so fascinating. You’re so fascinating,” you murmured before leaning closer into him and tracing the tattoo with your lips and tongue.

“Princess,” his voice was strained.

Without stopping your ministrations, you started to leave open mouthed kisses on his neck, sucking on a particular spot that you knew would leave marks the next day.

“Goddamn it,” he gritted out before setting you on your feet and fiddling with the keys of the pick-up, opening the passenger door, helping you inside and strapping you in. As soon as he was done, he climbed in the driver’s seat and started the vehicle.

“You’re so hot, Pea. Wanna hook up?” you said in a tone you thought was sultry.

The tips of his ears reddened as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. That was the last thing you remembered before you blacked out.

When you woke the next morning, you were in your bed. A cold shower, two Advils and your Mum’s scathing lecture later, you were in school preparing for the day.

You caught the gaze of a certain raven-haired boy as you entered and your eyes fell on his neck, his tattoo decorated with tiny hickies that the bastard hadn’t bothered to cover up.

When he looked at you and grinned, your stomach plummeted.

Oh, you were in for a world of trouble.

#riverdale #the cw riverdale #riverdale imagines #sweet pea #sweet pea imagines #sweet pea x reader #southside serpents #southside high #toni topaz #fangs fogarty #serpents vs ghoulies #jordan connor #jordan connor imagines #sweetpeaspodsquad #sweet pea fan club #sweet pea fanfiction

2K notes · View notes

darkdrabblings · 7 years

Note

Did you know that it's actually possible to get pregnant with twins by two different fathers? This doesn't seem to bode well for poly mchanzo's s/o *eyebrow wiggles*

Ma’am. These were supposed to be headcanons. Now I’ve gone and written a whole 2,600-word fic about this.

Shit.

But to answer your question, I have read about that happening. It’s exceedingly rare, but honestly how rare would it really be if you had two burly, fertile men basically tag teaming you every night?

They’d be so excited when you finally started signs of being pregnant, between your irregular cycles and your morning sickness waking them up. They finally decided to check and make sure as you d your usual dash from the shared bed into the restroom to empty the contents from last nights meal.

Hanzo was the first one to assist you as you kneeled on the floor, softly pulling your hair back as a knowing smirk began growing on his face. Jesse came in shortly afterward to check on you, and Hanzo ordered him to run to the store and buy a pregnancy test.

You’d never seen Jesse get dressed so quickly, and by the time you finished, he was already out the door. Hanzo watched you as you brushed your teeth, trying to get the taste of bile out your mouth.

When you finished with that he approached you from behind, his left arm gently wrapping around your abdomen, pulling your back flush against his naked chest, and rests his chin on your shoulder.

You silently watched your reflections in the mirror as his tattoos began to glow and his dragons slowly appeared to curl around your waist as well, chittering to each other before making their way up your torso to whisper in Hanzo’s ear. After they’ve made their assessment, they retract back into his arm.

“It seems as if you finally succeeded in something,” he praises before kissing your cheek.

You feel like throwing up all over again when Jesse barges back in the room. The two of you around to face him as he stumbles into the restroom holding about half a dozen tests, his hat askew, and his shirt inside out. You laugh at the sight before you, making Jesse’s eyes light up, and Hanzo pulls you possessively closer to him.

You pull away from Hanzo’s hold and help Jesse place the tests on the counter before he turns you towards him to place a kiss on your lips. Hanzo comes up behind you and peppers kisses up and down your shoulder and neck. When Jesse’s hands begin to wander under your shirt, you finally decide to pull away.

“Maybe, I should take the tests,” you say while grabbing a random one off the counter.

“There is no need,” Hanzo said, his lips by your ear this time.

“Whaddya talkin’ about, Hanzo? Didn’t ya send me out to get these?” Jesse asked before taking your lips in his again.

God, you were going to throw up again.

“Yes, but while you were out my dragons made an appearance to confirmed what I already knew.”

“And zat would be?” Jesse asked with your bottom lip between his teeth.

“That our favorite pet is pregnant with my child,” Hanzo smugly said as his hands wandered back to your front, resting them against your abdomen.

Jesse releases his hold on you and steps around to face Hanzo.

“And what exactly makes you think that it’s yours?” he demanded.

“As I said before, McCree, my dragons told me.” Hanzo let go of you as well and turned around to face Jesse.

“As if I’d trust the diagnosis of a couple of blue lizards.”

You rolled your eyes as Hanzo opened his mouth to yell when you stuck a test in between them.

“If the two of you wouldn’t mind taking your bickering into the next room. I’d like to see for myself,” you said as you began to push both Hanzo and Jesse out.

You could see Hanzo begin to get upset but Jesse at least Jesse understood and grabbed him by the arm to pull him out.

--------------------------

Ten minutes later and you couldn’t stop from crying as each test told you the same thing.

You were pregnant.

They’d succeeded in their fucked up plan to make sure you wouldn’t leave them. One of those psychos was the father of your child.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and you heard Jesse’s voice ring out behind it. “Everything okay in there, sweet pea? You’ve been in there for some time.”

You don’t bother wiping away your tears as you open the door. They’re well aware of your feelings towards this situation. Jesse’s in front as Hanzo peeks from behind him and you stare at them for a moment before telling them the news.

Jesse breaks into a grin as he leans down to pick you up bridal style, carrying you back into the room and laying you back down on the bed. Hanzo wears a genuine smile on his face as he looks down at you before facing back to Jesse.

“I told you she was carrying my child.”

“Now wait just one damn minute!”

--------------------------

They booked you an appointment with Angela that very same day too, and she triple-confirmed your pregnancy but did add in the fact that you were about 14 weeks along. She also scheduled you for your first ultrasound for the following week.

That had to be the longest week of your life. Between being immediately relieved from active duty by Jack and the constant arguing on whose child it is, they were slowly driving you mad.

Finally, the day of the appointment finally arrived, and you swear they were more nervous than you as they each stood on either side of your bed. They each held one of your hands tightly between there own as Angela spreads the cold gel on your stomach, making you shiver.

After a few seconds, Angela rubs the fetal doppler on your stomach, and the three of you hold your breath as a heartbeat begins to sound through. She smiled and started to point at the small blip on the screen that supposedly showed your baby, but she stopped mid-sentence, her head cocking to the side as she seemed to listen intently to the heartbeat.

“What is it, Doctor?” Hanzo asked with a worried tone as Jesse loudly swallowed and tightened the grip on your hand.

Angela suddenly broke out into a smile, and for the second time that month you knew that bad news was coming.

“Well it seems as if you’re in luck,” she proclaimed, “Looks like it's going to be twins!”

“You’re shittin’ me, doc,” Jesse said in disbelief.

“Nein. They’re not identical of course. You see here,” she says pointing to two different points on the screen. “They’re fraternal.”

Jesse and Hanzo were both speechless, neither saying a thing until Jesse broke out into a smile and began to laugh.

The room felt like it was spinning as you started to get nauseous again, and this time you were sure it had nothing to do with the twins growing inside you. Even though you were staring straight at the screen and hearing their heartbeats, you couldn’t stop the bile rising in your throat.

Hanzo broke you out of your train of thought as he kissed your temple. “Do you hear that, my pet? You’ve done so well.”

“Now, I must warn you,” Angela started again as she scribbled something in your chart. “Since you are in a relationship with the two of them....”

You almost laughed out loud when she mentioned the relationship but stopped when you caught Hanzo’s glare out of the corner of your eye.

“And the children are fraternal; there is a slight chance that each child could have a different father.”

There’s no way. This can’t be happening.

Now the room was spinning, and this time they might have suspected something was wrong when the machines began beeping frantically. Angela’s voice called out to you, and that seemed to snap you out of your trance.

You stared at her dumbfounded, hardly paying attention as Hanzo gloated over to Jesse on how it still counted as him being right.

“Sorry, Angela. I’m just a little surprised is all,” you whispered as you pulled your hands out of theirs when you heard Jesse’s tell-tale growl of annoyance at Hanzo.

“That’s completely understandable. I know it is a lot to take in. But, we probably won’t know for sure until the children are born. They could both very well still be the child of only one father.”

That didn’t make you feel any better.

“In the meantime, I'm going to put you on strict bed rest with this being your first pregnancy; I feel as if twins might be too much for your body to handle. So I want you hydrated and well-rested...”

Her voice faded out as you stared at the screen, watching the beating hearts of your children. Before you knew it, you were back in your room with both men always doting over you and fighting amongst themselves. Hanzo convinced that both were his and Jesse scoffing at every turn saying how it didn’t matter who’s children you carried because neither one of them was going to leave you anytime soon. That usually shut him up.

--------------------------

The months passed quickly, much to your relief. About a few weeks after your first visit you had begun to show rather quickly and just as the good doctor had said, it had put a strain on your body. You were grateful Hanzo and Jesse were with you, even if they didn’t give you a second to yourself. One of them always keeping an eye on you in case you tried to run. As if you could if you tried.

As the months went, you began to think that maybe it wasn’t all that bad being with them. Sure, they consistently argued over you, but they were so caring while you were pregnant. It almost made you forget on how they forced you into this sick “relationship,” and bred you like you were some prized sow.

But when you found out that you were expecting boys, they lavished you in so much affection and care that evening. Neither of them was shy on having sex while you carried one of their likely children and they didn’t hesitate on bringing you to the edge over and over again.

And even when your breasts began to get sore from the pregnancy, they made sure to take care of it. Each one latched on to a breast as they rubbed their hands up and down your stomach, feeling the life with you kick as they feasted on your warm milk.

Unfortunately, that didn’t last and the day finally came when you woke up in a wet pile with pain radiating from your lower back and abdomen. It must have been around 4 in the morning, but Hanzo jumped out of bed the instant you began to cry in pain. He knew it was going to happen any day now and he was packed and ready.

You managed to wake up Jesse by using his real arm as a grip, squeezing as tight as you could until the contraction passed while Hanzo grabbed the backs and car keys. Jesse just yelled along with you as your nails dug deep into his skin.

To say the delivery was smooth was a stretch. Your contractions were too close together by the time you arrived at the hospital so that the epidural would have been of no use. Jesse fed you ice chips as you squeezed his metal hand, while Hanzo dabbed at your forehead with a cold towel.

The doctor Angela had referred you to eventually arrived just in time as you got ready to push.

The first twin was the easiest, eager to be born. It only took you a few pushes before you felt relief when he came screaming into the world. As soon as the nurse handed him to you, wrapped tightly in a blue blanket, his chocolate brown eyes stared right into yours. You’d recognize that dark brown anywhere, and you didn’t need a test to prove that this was McCree’s son.

“Gabriel,” Jesse said as he pressed his face closer towards yours to get a closer look at his child, “I want to name him Gabriel.”

You were about to respond when another round of contractions hit, making you scream as the nurse quickly came to take Gabriel away.

The cramps hadn’t been this intense before, and now they were driving you insane. Hanzo came to your other side and softly spoke into your ear at what an amazing job you were doing, resuming the cold towel on your forehead. You sobbed as the pain lingered now, never fully going away.

“I can’t. I can’t do this Hanzo. It’s too much,” you cried out as they came back quicker than you expected.

“You’re doing well, my love. You’re doing so well,” he mumbles against your hair as the doctor tells you to push again.

You try to push, but you feel so spent from the first one, it’s not as simple, and you toss your head back against the pillows and yell in frustration. Everything is too much for you at this point. The doctor telling you to push, mixed with the urge to push, while cramps ravage your body is overwhelming. Hanzo kisses your forehead, ignoring the mixture of sweat and water on his lips.

“Beloved,” Hanzo speaks to you again. “I wouldn’t have chosen you if I thought you were weak.”

“I thought the dragons wanted me,” you scoff and tried to push again to no avail.

“The dragons work off of the emotions of their Masters. If they chose you, it’s because I deemed you worthy first.”

You turn to look at him in disbelief and just as you answer him, another chance to push appears, and you let out another scream instead, squeezing Jesse’s hand once more. Suddenly you feel Hanzo slip his left hand into yours as a blue glow appears beneath his shirt.

You feel a sense of calm wash over you, and you give one more hard push. You scream once more as muscles contract, and you finally feel that relief once more when the youngest one finally came into the world.

He didn’t cry, barely making a peep, as the nurse's weigh and measure him before handing him to you when they finished. You finally released your hold on Jesse's hand and he took that opportunity to flex his fingers as he walked over to see Gabriel. Who was more than content on talking to himself as he tried to shove the entirety of his hand in his mouth.

Hanzo smiled at you as the two of you looked down at the youngest one. You smiled as well when you noticed that had your eyes, nose, and lips. Hanzo reached out to cradle his head when his dragons made an appearance.

They slowly floated around the three of you, stopping every once in a while to smell and touch him. Finally, when they were satisfied, they disappeared back into Hanzo. You looked at him quizzically, but you knew the answer.

“What do you want to name him?” you ask as Jesse finally sits next to you, handing you the first twin.

“Jiro,” Hanzo says as he cradles his son’s head.

“Fitting,” Jesse responds while laying another kiss on your forehead.

The nurse comes back in after everything has been cleaned up to take the twins for their first baths. You see that the men are eager to go, but they don’t want to leave you alone.

“It’s okay. Go with them. It’s not like I can go anywhere,” you say motioning around.

They each give you a kiss, and you notice that Hanzo’s lasts a bit longer than usual, but you say nothing as they follow the nurse and close the door behind them.

You’re finally alone for the first time in months, and you can’t help but cry as you realize that you miss the warmth of their bodies already.

#ask #anon #my writing #Dark!Poly!McHanzo #DarkPoly!McHanzo #hanzo reader #mccree reader #Dark!hanzo #Dark!Jesse #pregnancy #s #i should be asleep #i'll add more tags tomorroy #and put it on AO3

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perspectiveartist · 7 years

Text

Tagged by @essenceofspace !

1. Coke or Pepsi:

Coke, definitely. I don’t mind Pepsi and learned to tolerate it okay because that’s what my Mom likes best, but if you give me the choice I will always pick Coke.

2. Disney or Dreamworks:

They’ve both got some of my fave movies. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron and Prince of Egypt are beautiful movies. However, if I go by consistency of excellence, I’d probably go with Disney? But I don’t really have a preference in the way of “I’d rather watch one company over the other”. Dreamworks just seems to reeeeally fluctuate with quality.

3. Coffee or Tea:

I like both alright. I prefer iced coffee and bottled teas lol. I drink tea more than coffee, though. Coffee tends to make me have to shit PRONTO and sometimes when it doesn’t make me have to shit, I still end up like...kinda having an upset stomach? Which does not help my anxieties. So I drink it sometimes but I have to be in the mood and in my own home near a toilet to feel comfortable with it lol. Don’t take me out for coffee, I will get nothing except maybe a water :)

4. Books or Movies: I’m not really sure...I guess books just because it lets me imagine things the way I want them? But they both require a level of attention that I have a hard time maintaining these days. I wonder though if part of my loss of interest in books comes from my eyes getting worse. I haven’t read much since getting them, so it could help.

5. Windows or Mac: I don’t have a strong preference, really. I don’t do a lot of fiddling with my computers, so as long as they can run what I want them to run, I’m fine with them. My desktop is Windows, my laptop is Mac. I’d say my only complaint is how fucking expensive everything Apple is. :/ Wilhelm’s needed repaired for years now but I just can’t justify the expense.

6. DC or Marvel:

Marvel, definitely. There’s some DC stuff I like, but I tend to gravitate towards Marvel more. I’d say Batman and Teen Titans are an exception. But mostly Marvel for me.

7. X-box or Playstation:

Uhhh I don’t really know to be honest? I grew up in a Nintendo household so I’ve never really owned a Playstation or X-box until living with James. Kind of how I feel about computers, I guess. As long as it’s got games I want to play lol. I suppose Playstation probably caters to me a little better.

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect:

Dragon Age. I haven’t really gotten to play Mass Effect yet, but space as a whole just doesn’t quite appeal to me as much? I do certainly love the alien races and seeing new environments is cool, but overall it just doesn’t hold the appeal to me that Dragon Age’s brand of fantasy does. I feel more creative with DA’s world.

9. Night Owl or Early Riser:

An unfortunate mix of both? I tend to stay up late and wake up early. I don’t really enjoy waking up early, my body just doesn’t leave me much of a choice.

10. Cards or Chess:

Cards. I always forget the rules to chess, card games are usually more straightforward for me.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla:

I assume we’re talking ice cream. Vanilla. For one, chocolate ice cream just rarely tastes like actual chocolate to me. Plus, you can customize vanilla however the hell you want without clashing flavors.

12. Vans or Converse:

Neither really. I pretty much just wear tennis shoes/running shoes/whatever the fuck you call them lol. New Balance is comfy. The shoes I’ve been wearing are New Balance and some kind of Dr. Scholl’s brand.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar:

Honestly, I’m not sure? My very first Inquisitor was Adaar, so I definitely have a soft spot for them and it was cool to play a new race. But I don’t have a total preference. I model my characters in DA to resemble/act like my characters I write. So I don’t view them as their race, just the character I stuck with that race.

14. Fluff or Angst:

I like both, man. Give me some seriously angsty shit followed by sad fluff. Give me happy fluff. Give me heartbreaking shit. GIVE.

15. Beach or Forest:

Forest. Beaches are great, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy them and I’ve been to a few on vacations when I was younger. But beaches are pretty much always hot unless you go north. And the heat and I are not on good terms. I’d say the downside of forests is they can be fucking humid, and humidity = mosquitoes.

16. Dogs or Cats:

I have a stronger preference towards cats. I’ve always loved them, grew up with them, etc. But I still love dogs and I’d like to have one someday. I’ve basically mentally adopted James’s family’s dog Jake. We’ve always snuggled together when we get the chance and he loves the attention. He just needs to be reminded that I am dainty and cannot be a chew toy sometimes xD

17. Clear Skies or Rain:

Hmm...I really don’t know here...Sometimes I really crave rain, but too much rain can be dreary because I start to feel cooped up. But too much sun can get tiring too because sometimes you just want it to be cooler. I guess it just kind of depends on the season.

18. Cooking or Eating Out:

Here’s the conundrum that ruins my life, aight. Aside from not having money, I can’t really eat out much. I fucking love restaurant food, even just fast food, but here’s the problem: I can’t stand eating in public 90% of the time because anxiety + phobia. I feel trapped and it’s rare that I can relax and properly eat a meal in a restaurant. But I also hate cooking. Which means I actually just eat a lot of junk food when left to my own devices lol. I did cook today though! I steamed some sugar peas and broccoli in teriyaki sauce. Low maintenance and yummy~

19. Spicy Food or Mild:

I can’t stand spicy food. It tends to upset my stomach more often than not. I eat food so blandly half the time you could mistake me for an old woman.

20. Halloween/Samhin or Solistice/Yule/Christmas:

Christmas holds the most sentimental value for me, but I don’t get excited for it like I used to. But I don’t really get excited for Halloween either. I like decorating for both, though, and seeing different decorations.

21. Little too cold or little too hot:

A little too cold. Being a little too hot sends me into anxiety sometimes (what doesn’t tbh) because being hot in general can upset my stomach. Winter’s my favorite for a reason.

22. Superpower

I wanna communicate with animals, Eliza Thornberry style. But I’d also like it to extend to insects and stuff? I’d never be alone.

23. Animation or Live Action:

Animation. It’s more expressive generally and you can do whatever you want with it with no worries about practical effects and the like.

24. Paragon or Renegade:

I would probably end up in the middle, maybe leaning more towards paragon? I prefer to be nice but sometimes it’s just not an option, man. You can’t please everyone.

25. Bath or Showers:

Showers, but it would be nice to have the option to take a bath sometimes. Unfortunately, our tub has a section cut out of it because the last tenant was disabled, so we can’t fill it :C

26. Team Cap or Team Ironman:

If this is about Civil War, I ain’t picking sides. I’m in Switzerland territory with the X-men.

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi:

Fantasy, but both are good :3

28. Fav Quotes:

I don’t really keep faves, honestly. My preferences change too much. But one I cling to actually came from a dream of mine where I spoke to Christopher Lloyd as Doc Brown lol. But it was meaningful and comforting.

"In all my years of travel, I've never met anyone in the past, present, or future whose path wasn't vastly important."

29. Youtube or Netflix:

Just depends if I’m on my computer or on the couch lol. I don’t use Netflix on my computer.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson:

I haven’t read Percy Jackson and don’t really have an interest in it, so definitely Harry Potter.

31. When I Feel Accomplished:

Uhhh...I guess when I make something I’m proud of?

32. Star Wars or Star Trek:

I’m honestly not huge on either, but I guess I have more good associations with Star Wars because of the people around me.

33. Paperback Books or Hardback:

Hardback, I suppose.

34. A world without literature or music:

Uh...no. I’m not choosing that lol.

35. Who was the last person to make me laugh:

James, probably.

36. Sour or Sweet Candy:

Depends on what I’m in the mood for, honestly. I like sweet stuff but sometimes sour is just great.

37. Believe in aliens?:

Yeah I mean, the universe is too vast not to.

38. Dawn or Dusk:

Dusk, I think.

39. Piercings or Tattoos:

I don’t have either and I probably will never have either. I prefer tattoos on others, but piercings are fine.

40. Girls? Hot?:

Uh yeah man.

41. Snow or Fog:

Snooooow~

42. Sleep facing the wall or room:

I don’t have a real preference where I’m facing as much as whatever side of the bed I’m on.

43. TRC of AFTG:

Uhhh???

44. Horror or Drama:

Drama I guess? Just because horror often upsets me. But I’m not huge on either genre.

45. Orcarina of Time or Majora’s Mask:

Majora’s Mask. I feel it’s got more complexity and emotion to it.

46. Living in nature or city:

I prefer kind of a medium? I don’t want to live in bumfuck nowhere but I don’t want to be in a city either.

47. Any addictions:

Art supplies ;A;

48. Languages:

English is my first language, I’m working on Spanish and German.

49. What music do I listen too:

Pretty much anything I end up liking? Limiting yourself to a genre is silly.

50. Fav mythical creature:

I’m not sure I have a favorite but I do have a soft spot for mermaids and centaurs.

51. Safe zone:

There really isn’t one, ever. There’s a downside to any locations or person.

52. First fandom:

Probably Pokemon? Either Pokemon or DBZ.

53. Cartoons or Adult Shows:

Animated anything :D As long as it’s good, I don’t give a fuck who the target audience is.

54. Current music:

Not listening to music right now.

55. Favorite starter?:

Like Pokemon? I have a nostalgic soft spot for Totodile. It was back before I could look up to see what the Pokemon would look like, so I had no idea my little Totodile would grow up to be a big badass Feraligatr and I freaking LOVED it. I feel the same way about Mudkip. Weirdly enough, I prefer to start with FIre types rather than Water.

56. What would your witch’s familiar be?

Probably just a cat lol.

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darkshimmeringworld-blog · 7 years

Text

Dreams

She's finishing her smoke and staring out of the window. She thinks she sees a bat, but then it becomes apparent, it is actually a spider, right in front of her face, skying across the night canvas on invisible web. Oh the tender exaltations one feels, when alone with the secrets of the night. The communion of dark thoughts, in the trembling moonlight. The time for emergence and disappearance. The dark shimmering world that opens all doorways.

Inside the still house, which is surely empty, he watches from what might be an alcove, but could also be the beginning of some extended tunnel system, that riddles into deep, beyond places.

Once I had a dream, she says to him straight, I was walking down the street, and this small, bald man, missing both the two legs, making quick in a wheel chair, rolls up and past me. He goes, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, and as he passes, I whisper, Happy Cunt, in the derogatory style, and he hears and the wheels tip, and he's lying there spokes whirling, like a broken record, going, Happy Cunt, Happy Cunt, Happy Cunt . . . What's that about?

One interpretation would be that the man in the wheel chair is you, or represents your happiness, a happiness you feel you aren't entitled to, and so you sabotage it.

Ha, she rubs her nose. But what about that insect, did you see it?

Underneath the house?

Recording everything we say, writing down it's manuscript.

But that was in my mum's house.

We are in your mum's house.

Fuck. We are.

8.15 alarm. Strange dream. Dreamt of her again. And the recurring insect motif. What was he watching last night? Why always bugs? The Dreamer rubs his eyes reluctantly. Coffee time. Commute. Work. Dreams. He works at Dreams. The bed store. Mattresses, pillows, headboards, sofa beds, free delivery, 40 night guarantee, “because your sleep matters”. The Dreamer enters the building, and chooses the outside path, the route which best avoids Martin’s substation, over by the Superkings.

Martin, is an unfortunate man. Unfortunate like the man, who can only sustain an erection, by clinging to the swinging udders of a cow, in mad, desperate embrace, whilst being dragged through a field of mud, and then similarly, can only lose said erection, by clinging to the same bemused creature, whilst being dragged in the reverse direction, across the same rotten field. Who traipses hedgerows, up and down the land, looking for negligent farmers, slow moving cows and sympathetic women. A trifecta of which, is very rare indeed.

Watching the Dreamer from behind a Double, Martin makes an excited inhalation of breath, and leaps to intercept. He is young in the face but clearly in his mid 30s, a perpetual potential person, who will find himself too late. His mum drops him off, and picks him up. On his lunch break he sits alone, eating Pickled Onion Monster Munch, reading Emil Cioran. One time the Dreamer caught him alternating the Monster Munch, with a rolling replenishment of mint chewing gums, whilst flicking through pages of On The Heights of Despair. He delivers everything he says, with an intimation of dormant, violent tendencies, and is drawn to the Dreamer, like a slug attracted to a rainy night.

What is it today? smiles the Dreamer, with well rehearsed deceit and politeness.

It happened again. Animals, they come in here, like pagans in heat, trampling grapes with the Great God Pan, Stella cans and crisp packets, foot marks and stains of miscellaneous description . . . undetermined till further autopsy . . . there will be an autopsy, all on the 6'0 Cream Superking, 20% reduced but still a dame, not to mention what I found on the Ottoman.

I respect your right to an Inquisition, but I can't help you Martin.

But this . . . just makes me want to torture starfish.

Calm down mate, you really need to get out of here. It's no good for you. Plus it could be so many of the employees. 6 of us have keys, the head office aren't paying for the security cameras to be fixed till spring. Someone’s having a little bit of fun on company soil, it’s not like they’ve fisted your nan’s urn.

I'm gonna stake it out. I have a tent.

Martin, change of scenery . . take that fucking tent to Wales, it's alright round there, you been to the Brecon Beacons?

Sending this up the chain of command is too good for these cretins. No . . . I'll make a headboard from their ashes, sell it 50% reduced to a fetish club in Dagenham. No 70% . . . 75%. No, Croydon.

I'm going to talk to that couple. You’ve lost me.

We’re a closed system of the damned, Martin heckles, to a withering crowd of no one, I’m the Serpico of Springs!

Martin is shaking by his substation. The Dreamer talks to the couple. He’s no Terry Wogan, but he makes good small talk.

We had to rid ourselves the last one on account of the bed wetting, Woman Blessed With Oversharing goes. Man Not Blessed With Oversharing Thank You Very Much, standing holding her hand, recoils.

I've done it for years, Oh it's OK, he does it too, really, we're made for each other, but don't get any funny ideas, it's not in a sexual way!

Man Cursed With Shit Job recoils in synchronization with Man Well Rehearsed in Public Recoiling, Less So In Midnight Relief.

We’re downsizing as well. Priced out of the area. The new place is tiny. So we need something small, super practical, durable . . .

The sofa bed is becoming more and more the go to solution for many space squeezed couples living in Central London, says the Dreamer, the industry understanding this are producing some things of real beauty. You could say we are in the golden age of sofa beds, really.

In the realm of the abstract everything is just a mask, says the penguin.

I really need to pee.

You're a boy, you can piss where you want!

The penguin is correct, so he heads out of the club house of his childhood football team, where the grass has grown long now and everything feels forgotten, and ascends to the roof, via stairs that were never really there. He Caspar Friedrichs the surroundings. What a prime pissing pantheon. The Dreamer starts yellow brick roading hard, it doesn't seem to end! Then the tingling on the back of the neck, klaxoning the gaze of another. Not alone. He looks back and The Man With Oversharing Partner is there, cock out, also, Wizarding his Oz, but intently staring across.

Do you mind!

Listen, the Alpha Shemale is looking for us.

'Cuse Me?

I had to come up here.

Fuck off.

There's not much time. I can see my top. A bee is on it. Can my top see me?

I think it's time to fuck off.

I was only trying to help.

You spend any more pennies whilst staring at me and I'll punch you between the eyes.

Lunch break with Mo and B. A fog has engulfed the day and the sun looks vulgar and gaudy in it's attempts to break through it. An English Cafe serving the English staples, needing no other description.

Who's turn is it this Saturday?

Mine.

With your lady friend?

Right.

Careful, Martin's gonna be setting bear-traps all around shop.

Well I won't leave evidence like you did last time.

Yeah, I don't really care man, Mo laughs.

Do you find it funny, the longer you work here, the stranger the dreams you find yourself having?

Dreams about Dreams?

Yeah.

Don't think so, says Mo, thumbing his phone.

Feels like a nightmare. Things we say in this job, the shit you have to hope they will gobble up, the shit they do gobble up, we all gobble up, I don't know what's worse, the emptiness beforehand or the shame and emptiness after, says B, between BLT bites.

I don't care, says Mo, and he really doesn't.

Sometimes the place is so empty. You literally stand there. Doing nothing. And then there's that new boss, who's right on it. I still can't tell if he's Australian or just English and nasally. How do you look busy for the boss when you average 3 people an afternoon? Yet he's always about, doing his rounds, putting weird signs on the Ottoman that are full of typos and misremembering my name though I've been here for 6 months. My name's B.

A waitress appears.

I worry about my reality, says B, I live in a world of speculation and fantasy. Nothing feels dangerous. My existence is bubble wrapped.

The waitress interrupts, Sorry darling, that’s not yours. This is yours.

She takes the Dreamer’s plate and replaces it with an identical plate. Where sausage was, sausage is, bacon where bacon and beans immaculately copy beans. She has a middle finger tattoo on her forearm, but is a kind, affable lady. Once she told the Dreamer of her heady days raving in Belgium, which for the record, The Dreamer does not consider a real country.

I don’t know how this happened, she continues.

No worries, he replies.

Sorry for the confusion.

That’s OK.

It won’t happen again.

She leaves the table in grave, penitent steps. The plate, being newer, than the last one, though identical, tastes the better, to the Dreamer.

Lunch ends with exactitude and the afternoon conforms to the routine standard experienced by all the employees of Dreams. The day drifts on and another day under the sun concludes in glum formless residues. Artifice! Full speed ahead! The Dreamer laughs, and sleepwalks back home, floating in a world that feels half incomplete, past the fog enshrouded shapes of probably cars and people. The evening turns to night. In the distant corners of REM flutter, he awakes to the sensation of something. The something is confusing, and not quite able to place it, he falls back, to the sack.

Where shadows eat shadows. The winding down of a strange machine. Down in his head stream, black, heavy mass, smashing lead into bits of lapis lazuli, azure twisted fragments, crushing into fine, white dust. REM afterglow. Hypnopompic visions. Crumpled redolent pillow. Coffee. Commute. Dreams.

Early morning images, there is one solitary customer, there is a blinking fluorescent light waning, the window reflection transposes, what is inside, over the blue world all surrounding. B is hungover, Mo is stood talking with Martin. Though from across the room it appears more an exercise in nodding and listening. A woman dressed like Miss Havisham, is asking the Dreamer how many beanie babies he reckons could fit across the Edwardian Small Double.

Of course you could always get the Manhattan here, with concealed slide out storage, why I reckon you could get at least 30-50 of your little friends under there, though it would feel a bit like a mausoleum mind.

Live in a tomb!

Right, sighs the Dreamer.

You think i’m crazy . . . I didn’t come in here riding a goat backwards, Havisham intones with severity, dabbing her weeping eye.

Right well . .

He went off with my best friend, and that’s the end, you know, after that, not like I havn’t tried, I met a man, a new one, I’d never met him before, but online, Big Al, he lived in Scotland, I went up, you have to take chances, you can’t live life in fear, you have to take the risks, for the rewards, yes, I went up to Scotland, he was 7 years my junior, not good looking, though he said he liked watching Springwatch, I love Springwatch, apart from that one episode, when the baby tits were massacred by the stoat, you don’t need to show that, she dabs her eye, Nature’s cruel, we all know that, so I’m up in Scotland, I’m not feeling it anymore, with Big Al, negative energies, his aura was brown, his carpet stunk of cigarettes, uglier in real life, I told him there’s a cat spirit in the house, and I must leave at once, cat spirit? he said, yes I said, you need an exorcist, and I left, you don’t trust easily after that.

An awkward pause.

Reality does you, but fantasy will never disappoint you son . . .

The Dreamer says nothing, for what is there to say?

Fudge, she says, and ambles away.

Another customer walks in. Out of his collar, leaves are sprouting. He coughs loudly for a minute. A pigeon flies straight into the shop front glass. It lies motionless on the pavement. Mo picks his nose. All these moments, are unrelated.

What is the experience of a pigeon, lacking a concrete language relationship with the world, who flies to it’s death, in such circumstances? Fear, emotion, and impulses and some signifiers attached to those things. But is it all some rushing All-ness? An abstract palette. An incredibly rich, shifting symphony, in the present, and undesecrated by symbols? To experience such a world! To be a demoted dinosaur, oblivious of oblivion, slamming into eternity!

The entire fucking universe is frivolous, says Martin.

I’ll get the brush, sweep it up, Mo chirps, seizing his opportunity for escape.

I once had a pet, a Pomeranian, Maldoror was his name . . . a duck killed it, Martin gesticulates, to no one in particular.

That’s that, says Mo, with standard lack of enthusiasm flooding back, his exotic trip to the Outside Bin, on his Outside Mission, thoroughly in the past.

Flesh dissolves, Martin prickles, I'm just counting the days.

The Dreamer looks down at his phone screen, the message reads: “hope you are having gd day, took max to the vet, had to have him put down, looking forward to yr brthday, love mum x”

She’s finishing a joke, it goes something like this, What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm. What’s worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What’s worse than the holocaust? 6 million Jews.

You can’t laugh about the holocaust.

What about the funny bits?

That I cannot argue.

So, what is this?

I thought you could be my feng shui consultant, this place needs some expert help.

Haha, sure, but I think the problems go deeper in this place.

I tell you, this Martin guy, and this other character called B, I swear they go home and they’re shitting blood. And puking. And crying. On repeat. For their angst that overfloweth.

I remember him. Maybe he likes you!

Two phrases, I abide by: You don't shit where you eat, and you certainly don't shit the bed.

Chocolate spread philosopher.

There's a premise. Look, I have these. The key is to chew them. Lots and lots. None of this hidden in tea nonsense. Dilutes the effect.

First date, and you have me in your place of work . . . doing magic mushrooms.

So far, so good.

Half an hour from this point, the room begins to change, from the mundanity of the everyday, into a slow fire of ineffable, pigmented, singing surfaces. The walls start to feel alive, and strangely from another time, as if they are now in the sanctuary of an old monastery or in the caverns of an ancient cult. They lie on a bed giggling like children, as the effects crescendo to greater delirium. The places we inhabit, and when we truly see them!

Feel anything?

This isn’t real is it? I’ve had these dreams before. With the colours. Then there’ll be an insect. Or you’ll be an insect. Or -

This is actually my dream, you’re welcome to stay for a bit.

The Dreamer looks down at the floor. No signs of tunnel systems, and the possibility of subterranean madness. Hands still humanoid, her face yet to be adorned with mandibles. A warm feeling resides in his stomach, that makes him want to burp. So far, so good.

Listen. London chimneys. The occult properties of London chimneys. I think London chimneys . . . in the right light . . . are the trippiest things in the world! the Dreamer burps, You know how much I stare at the chimneys?

These things make you really chatty, it’s like verbal diarrhoea roulette right now.

It’s important. It doesn’t matter.

I think I saw a bat.

Focusing on the bed, directly in front, the crumples of duvet are flickering. They dance in magical, impossible contours. Now the bed is starting to move. Now it is really moving. A contagion spreads. All the beds are swaying. To the same incredible movement. A legion of magic carpets. Sacred geometry.

I tell you I have this recurring dream? Yeah, you did. Wheel chair man. Haha, I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. Wheel chair man! No! That didn’t happen? Not that I’m aware of. We do too much drugs. True . . . This though, this, this, this, this. This is all I need. I get all my meaning from this, I mean. Wherever you find it I guess. George Bataille had his photographs of lingchi, the Swedes had Runamo, we interpret the runes. You’ve lost me ya weirdo. This is real. The urge to blanket myself in moss. The covenant of my . . . . fucking wow. Turquoise. Hahaha every time you speak stars are shooting out of your mouth. Cartoon stars! Stupid big fun fuckers! Say something again! Dick. Ha ohh . . can you hear that? Mystery language. ESP. Out of my. Flaming. No. Flaming world. No. You ever listened to Hildegard and done this? That's the ticket. You know there's nothing better than making a beautiful woman smile. There's nothing worse than a man who thinks he's funny. There’s nothing worse than half an apple in your worm. Hahahahaha. He kisses her neck. It tastes like metal. He looks at her face. It makes him laugh. The room is breathing.

Outside Dreams, the car park is in mystery fogscape. A white van pulls up. It says: “ALL KINDS OF BLINDS” on the side. Unfortunate civic blue font continues: "Windows, glazing, frames, shutters, installation, refits, threshold specialists, CALL TODAY”. The engine stops, the van rocks, and the back doors swing open. About 5 people step out, gingerly to the pavement, like babies taking their first steps on the moon.

They are all completely blind. Two with canes. Most with the cliché blacked out glasses. One of them looks like Andrea Bocelli. They shuffle towards the shop front, one by one, like the Cathar Martyrs, eyes stabbed out by their captors, who left the leading man with one eye, to lead them to their graves.

Another looks like Ray Charles, actually. Though the Dreamer cannot tell, as he walks to the entrance, if his working eyes are playing tricks on him, if it is the real McCoy, or his brain sees a black man with glasses, and chooses to go all racist.

We are the Luminous People, we are very excited to be here, Old Man in White Suit announces.

Very happy to have you, replies the Dreamer.

The lease of the deed is not agreed, says Maybe Ray, smiling at him ambiguously.

The Dreamer nods his head. Maybe Ray hands him a box.

And we have travelled very far. But if you accept this gift, we were hoping we could gain entry, see the show everyone is talking about, you are still open aren't you?

See . . . Yes. See?

Great, c'mon in guys, Maybe Ray turns ambiguously again to the Dreamer, patting him on the arm, Thank you Boy, thank you . . . We’ve just come from the House of the Face Shifters, their faces look like clay! Great show! But we heard this is even better!

Everyone moves inside. The artificial lighting seems brighter.

Dark in here, had to turn them up, says Martin.

Appreciate it, smiles Maybe Ray.

No tickets required, go on through, relaxed rules, smiles Martin, who then pulls out a torch, and starts shining it at the blind men, in the light, lucid, white room. The Luminous People follow the Dreamer, their faces are stuck smiling, like uncanny wax dummies.

It’s over here, the Dreamer explains, leading them through the middle of the store. One bed is covered in in bakelite toys, eye goofing cats and pocket cars, another littered with lamps, that make light reconditely, the roots of wire cascading, pooling on frayed carpet. They walk past one bed, with a figure lying face down, a female body, motionless. She seems to be dead, or in a deep sleep, to differentiate between two nullities. The Dreamer desires to see her face. Though she is so close, she also feels so distant, and as he keeps on walking, he is certain who it is.

The Dreamer walks the blind men to the Ottoman. There is a red rope in front. It looks the same as it always does.

Collectively the blind group pause for a moment, some on their sticks or arms akimbo, at the edge of the red rope. Mo is standing beside the Ottoman, in a smart valet outfit. No photography please, Mo goes, and resumes staring ahead, as if his brain were made of lead.

Perplexing, pronounces the Eldest Blind Man.

This is a disappointment, says Maybe Ray.

A damp squib alright.

All this build up.

Somebody’s taking the piss . . .

Hey Boy, can you whistle me a song for the road?

I can do two tunes, Whistle Stop from Disney’s 1973 Robin Hood, the one with the cartoon fox, by Roger Miller, or Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima, by Penderecki.

I’ll go with the former.

The whistling Dreamer, watches the van slither off, in rivers of silver.

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