Tumgik
#unhealthy bby
chaotic-on-main · 1 year
Text
what's it like for those who like things a normal amount
860 notes · View notes
fistfuloflightning · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
…I am so sorry. I’ll have to get used to it. He’ll be my father-in-law, after all.
Jiuyuan bc you know that’s how I roll
133 notes · View notes
nateezfics · 6 months
Note
Tumblr media
Leaving this here and running away like the menace I am.
you just leave me in ruins like this huh 🥲
Tumblr media
22 notes · View notes
stamour · 5 months
Text
love (unintentionally) views sex as transactional but the only thing they get out of it is (perceived) validation for making their partners feel good lol
#usfw /#︵ ♡ 𝗠𝗨𝗦 ﹕ headcanons ꒱ .ᐟ#i say perceived bc it's like. very shallow. like bby ur self worth should nawt be measured by how good u are in bed#sadly what love learned from being in the entertainment industry for so long is that sex is the fastest way to get someone to like u#yet it's usually very surface level. they've had a lot of fwb type situations bc they're lonely n like#'give them the best sex of their life n they'll want to be around me more'#ofc this is a sex positive household!! but love's approach is very unhealthy and that needs to be acknowledged as well#most of her self esteem relies on her own objectification#random hc i have is that the number of times love's made someone else finish vs the number of times they have is... very imbalanced#bc they dont really care about their own pleasure they get that from tallying up the other person's organism lmaooo#i also half joke that love's one flaw is that he'd cry after sex but it's also partly true IF#he has an emotional connection with the other person first. and comes to the realization that it's about that connection n unity#and suddenly it's different than all the other experience love has had. it'd be overwhelming#and may take a bit for them to get comfortable tbh#idk why i started rambling about this LOL it's just been in my head for the past couple of days#love makes me sad. she's surrounded by love and yet feels like there's a huge part missing#bc sure fans love her. her family loves her. but she DOES want romantic connection as well#and i think that's valid and okay#will i let it happen tho? probably not ehehe
2 notes · View notes
deus-ex-mona · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3
#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~?#so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent#he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends.#he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap#he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t.#like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year.#he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol#he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all.#he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll#he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam#heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is#(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still)#and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just… not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries)#our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:(((((#i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!!#he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus#idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :(#2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :((((#but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really.#but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol#and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me#so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3#and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be#but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~?#sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂
11 notes · View notes
fleurriee · 10 months
Note
Not me sprinting to my apple music to listen to all the songs i saw in the tag. Ilysm my flower and thank you for thinking of me 💕
Have the best weekend 🥰✨
Tumblr media Tumblr media
they’re so different from one another it’s crazy, like i have no specific taste when it comes to music lmao 🫣
always thinking of you andra 🥺 ily more & i hope u have an amazing weekend too!! <33
(gonna be visiting ur page again soon for some more illicit affairs… need to get to chapter 10 👀)
3 notes · View notes
just-a-tiny-goldfish · 11 months
Text
The mortum relationship was the best relationship Orellia has ever had and also the worst possible breakup ever
3 notes · View notes
padfootastic · 2 years
Note
Honestly one thing I feel weird is, why is it important whether Sirius is tall or not TO YOU? Meant, if you love Sirius, don’t you have to love him when he’s tall and when he’s short? Why, my favorite character is Sirius, and I love tall Sirius and love short Sirius. Because his height isn’t what made me love him. Is it to you? You love ‘tall Sirius’, not Sirius himself? It’s just weird to me usually people focus on just his height while they focus on many things when it comes to our Remus.
gonna be honest, i made like. 2 comments in the tags of someone else’s post once. i wouldn’t call that focusing on his height.
also,,,,,dear anon,,,,,have u gone through my blog? the whole thing is an ode to sirius black and james potter 😭😭 how can i make my love for him any more obvious
(also gonna take this to answer the anon who i can’t publish bc…names, but, why would u think any of my opinions on sirius are influenced by remus + his fandom when i don’t even like him 😭😭 if anything, i’d make sirius tall so he could take care of his darling angel baby james but then that doesn’t work either bc like i said, my james is *large* and carries sirius around regularly and manhandles him effortlessly so,,,,where do we go?) (also, pls, i beg, stop equating physical characteristics with sexual positions. i know a lot of fics/people do it, but that’s not how it works 🥲)
4 notes · View notes
magichcuse · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Re: My previous post—
Kathleen would have to die for the "Vivian is Raised by Damion for some God-forsaken Reason AU" to happen. There's no way in hell Kathleen would willingly allow her daughter to fall into Damion's custody unless he was literally the only other person alive and she was about to die (even if it's probably more merciful to let Vivian die with her).
Once Kathleen is dead, Patrick injects some of Theo's DNA into Viv and changes her last name to "Daskalakis" because he believes that's the closest thing he'd get to starting a family with Theo (which would be true in this AU because, surprise, Patrick is dying too!).
Because Patrick died and he injected just enough DNA for her to show up as biologically related to Damion, Viv gets tossed off to him as her closest living relative. She goes to Damion and not Theo because...Damion still works for Weissdorn and he'd be on the Triumvirate's radar more than Theo, who defected and is living in poverty (plus, the last thing Theo needs is another kid after he just had Dedrick).
It's bold of me to assume Damion would even keep Vivian considering he only had Theo to carry on the family name. Not only is Viv a girl (meaning she's not carrying on jack-shit in this Patriarchal Society), I feel like he'd HAVE to know that there's no way for Viv to be a legitimate Daskalakis. Unless he's so protective of his bloodline that he'd prefer to raise his bastard granddaughter than to throw his own blood in an orphanage, this is where the AU would end and nothing would be accomplished besides making Ebony and Theo more miserable I guess.
...but that's not really fun, so I'm going to go into "This will almost certainly never happen but I'll play in the theoretical sandbox because I want to" territory.
I'm not sure how Damion would even raise a girl. Part of me feels like he's too sexist to consider Viv a successor and would marry her off to whoever so she isn't his problem anymore, but I also know he doesn't really bother with the arranged marriage stuff and he'd have no motivation to marry off Viv besides getting rid of her (especially since he's going to have to pay a dowry in order to secure a deal). As cute as it'd be to see Viv thaw Damion's cold heart...that's never happening. If his own son couldn't melt his frozen shell, I doubt some random baby that's supposedly related to him would do anything. I'm just going to put huge question marks here because I don't know enough about Damion to really know what the dynamic would be like (ie. is Damion okay with hitting girls? ...like I could probably see him hitting Penelope because she's a complete menace, but would he be violent towards a girl otherwise?).
I guess I could roughly guesstimate how Viv would turn out if she was raised by Damion?
Viv would definitely have some of Damion's homophobia internalized in her...honestly, her orientation would make this AU interesting considering that it's closer to Damion's than Theo's is. Being demiromantic/demisexual, Viv only develops feelings for people who she gets close to or trusts. If the way Damion raised Theo is any indication...Viv is highly unlikely to trust anyone and would functionally be aro/ace like Damion. Maybe Damion wouldn't feel so alone? ...or maybe because he doesn't have the words to describe his orientation, he'd just assume Viv is Superior like him for not concerning herself with frivolous things like courtship. I highly doubt Viv would even have the opportunity to meet Zanna because something tells me Damion wouldn't want his child to interact with her for...many reasons.
Viv was already someone who would throw herself into her studies to distract herself from the void in her life and this would be amplified by 100 here. It'd be interesting if there's a parallel with AU!Viv working hard to be Damion's successor like MainVerse!Viv had studied to be Patrick's successor, but again, idk how keen Damion would be on passing on his legacy to a female. Maybe I'm being presumptuous and Damion is too distanced from society to be sexist, but at the same time, his whole character is centered around fitting the role he was given and it's very difficult not to know why people aim for having sons instead of daughters. I don't think Damion is petty enough to raise Viv to be a better successor than Theo just to rub it in his face but, again, maybe I'm wrong.
What I do know is that since Damion is her only parental figure in this AU (since it doesn't seem like any of Damion's staff acted as parental figures to Theo, if Damion has staff), Viv would strive to gain Damion's approval. If this means she sends all of her classmates into the infirmary because she pours all of her energy into dueling, that's just what she'll do. I don't think she'd be attached to Damion considering his parenting style doesn't seem to allow for that, but she would be loyal to him. She plans on taking care of Damion when/if he gets too old to take care of himself because she Owes it to him for raising her into the resilient woman she is. Idk if she'd be 100% Girl Damion™, but she'd be pretty damn close.
0 notes
natti-ice · 29 days
Note
I just discovered you and I’m crazy for your Eddie and Steve smuts like it’s unhealthy. Idrk if you take requests but you wrote that Eddie is into pegging🤭🤭 could you elaborate plz? I feel like thats so hot and I would just die! LOVE YOUR CONTENT YOURE AMAZING
First Time Pegging Eddie.
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Dom!fem!reader
Warnings: 18+ mdni, pegging
Thank you so much bby<3 I’m so happy that you like them!
Reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated<3
Tumblr media
Eddie was the one to bring it up, since the beginning of your relationship you both have been very open about your sexual wants and needs. You were both laying in bed one night cuddling when he brought the idea up to you.
"Hey, baby?" He whispered softly into your hair, his arms were wrapped around your waist holding you close to his chest.
"Yes?" You respond, tiredness laced in your voice
"Do you know anything about pegging?" This question immediately wakes you up, you turn your head to the side to face him
"Are you suggesting what I think you are, Eddie?" You ask scanning his face for any uncomfortableness but you can't find a trace.
A wide smile grows on his face "I wanna try it, you know to see if we like it... what do you think?"
You giggle softly "I would love to try it, baby"
The next day, you both set out to your local sex shop to find the perfect strap on. Eddie picked up each dildo that they sold and examined them to see the different shapes and styles that they offered, you watched him as he searched for the perfect one. You could feel yourself becoming more and more excited as the image of him bent over the bed play in your mind.
"This is it, this is the one" he shows you a box for a purple dildo that was seven inches. He chuckles playfully and says "let's get home and try this bad boy out"
Once you made it home he immediately pulls you straight into the bedroom and sits on the bed, he starts to open the dildo box with a smile so big you would've thought it was Christmas.
"Take your pants off, baby" he says and helps you out of them, he then puts the harness on you and tightens it so it's snug. He fumbles with his own pants as he tries to take them off as quickly as possible, you giggle at his eagerness
"Calm down, honey" you tease "it's not going anywhere"
"I know I know, I'm just excited" he chuckles and pulls down his pants exposing his already erect cock. You straddle his lap and start to make out with him, making sure he's prepared for what's to come.
After an intense make out session, it's finally time for the main event. "Get on all fours" you whisper seductively in his ear.
"Yes, ma'am" he smirks and lifts you off of him and gets into position
You stare down ass his bare ass as he offers himself to you, your heart beats faster than it ever has before. You take a bottle of lube and apply some to the tip of your fingers, you rub them together to warm it up. Slowly you rub your fingers on his puckered hole causing him to shutter.
"Easy there, baby" you say softly "just relax and let me take care of you"
"O-okay" he takes a deep breath to help calm himself
You spend a few minutes working your fingers in and out of his ass to stretch him open a little bit so it won't be so uncomfortable. Finally it's time to put it in. You lube up your fake purple cock and gently tease his hole with it.
"I'm gonna put it in, baby, just breathe for me" your words calm him instantly and almost make him even more excited
He nods in response and you slowly push into him causing him to let out a gasp, you pump in and out slowly to help him get accustomed to the size.
"Oh fuck" his voice shakes
"That feel good?" You ask, you would stop immediately if he said no
"So fucking good" he breathes out "I need more"
"Good boy" you praise and give him more
As you increase your speed, he increases his volume. His breathless pants turn into loud moans that fill the entire bedroom, you're so turned on by how much he loves you fucking him. You don't stop your thrusts for a moment as you reach your hand between his legs and start to jerk him off.
"You gonna cum for me?" You ask mockingly, already knowing the answer
"Y-yes, gonna cum" his voice is slightly muffled as his face is pressed against the mattress
Knowing his climax is imminent you speed up just the slightest bit to send him over the edge, his breathing becomes even heavier and his body begins to twitch
"SHIT!" He yells, his body convulses as cum flies out of his cock, his warm sticky seed covers the bed sheets and the back of your hand
"Fuck that was so hot" you laugh softly and slow down your thrusts as he rides out his high
278 notes · View notes
scatterbrainedbot · 4 months
Text
I AM SPINNING I AM PACING I AM FULL ON FROLICKING IM SO EXCITED
@d1sc0rd1a THANK U FOR THESE TAGS
Tumblr media
okayokayokayokay so pretty much all of these questions will be Officially Answered properly in the character design/intro pages im working on but also i am physically vibrating with excitement about the fact that you noticed all these details and i have very little self control so! lore dump time!!!
(minor tw for mentions of leos self-harm/self-destructive anxious behaviors and unhealthy coping skills)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
- mikey does indeed have curly fur! i believe he would be considered a 'rex' rat (pictured on the left) for this trait? though the curls can be more easily seen on mice (pictured on the right). or, at least it seems that way. have not delved too deeply into the details of rodent genes and husbandry, but id assume its the same sort of mutation considering curly haired mice are also referred to as rex sometimes? either way hes a extra floofy bby 🧡
Tumblr media
-as for raphie, unfortunately being more fluff and less shell than the average rapheal comes with its downsides. especially if you and your brothers occasionally encounter things like territorial dogs, hungry cats, or sewer crocodiles while exploring places ur dad said not supposed to go. (most of his scars will have more ninja related stories, but his ear i think got messed up from something very animal. probably around age 11 ish? old enough to sneak out from dads protection but young enough to not fully know how to handle himself alone against real danger. thankfully his ear injury looks worse than it actually is for the most part, as the damage was largely to the outer ear. his hearing wasnt super affected, except that he now has a bit of a harder time being able to track/pinpoint noises origins if its on his right side.)
Tumblr media
-also yep! dons got some glasses that just clip/rest on the bridge of his nose! theyre mostly just for home use, as they do fall off if hes knocked around. in the field he has some goggles he tends to use (theyre helpful as they have multiple additional functions like heat-imaging, extra zoom/telescoping, and recording capabilities. but also theyll give him headaches if he wears them for too long without breaks). contacts are theoretically also an option but he absolutely hates the sensation of putting them in. so sometimes when hes tired he'll just not bother with either clips or goggles and just squint and struggle. leo hates when he does that lol.
Tumblr media
-speaking of leo, he is def an anxious baby :) he has a few patches of fur missing on his hand cos he has the tendency to tug on it while hes thinking. he yanked and chewed on his own tail a lot when he was younger too, which is why when hes older he usually wears some wraps to cover the scars left from that behavior. he finds those scars specifically to be kinda embarrassing and shameful because they werent from any battle or life-lesson, just his own 'inability to control himself'. all of his brothers have repeatedly called him out on the fact that that is not a healthy way to think about his anxiety or mental health, but leo insists hes fine. hes kinda convinced himself that a proper warrior always has control over his own body* and his own thoughts, thus he should be able to just like willpower-brute-force his way into 'being better'. (this line of thinking pisses raph off so much he has to leave and go hit something)
Splinter also tries to talk him through some of that internalized guilt/shame/everything, but splinters very metaphorical, poetic, and indirect when it comes to talking about Big Things, which combined with how much leo gets caught in his own head, makes it kinda hard to gauge how much these talks actually help
*this is made extra fun considering leos also ftm trans, so he is faced with a body that fundamentally disobeys him perhaps more than the average rat-man.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
-and im still going back and forth between a few species for splinter, but im leaning mostly towards an African Spurred Tortoise! they have these beautiful if kinda subtle geometric shell patterns and are the third largest species of tortoise in the world. the only thing that doesnt fit perfectly with Splints is that (allegedly) their lifespan in captivity is around 50ish years, whereas im p sure Tortoise Splinter is well over 75, probably closer to 90 when the boys are born and hes mutated into Old Man Papa.
but maybe hes just a particularly long lasting African Spurred Tortoise.
the Hamato family has taken very good care of him for many decades after all. :)
(well. until everything all fell apart, that is.....)
408 notes · View notes
aphroditelovesu · 9 months
Note
I was thinking of requesting small headcanons of what the marriage of baby reader and alicent's children would be like (separately), if you can't it's fine, honey
❝🐉 — lady l: you asked for it and here it is!! I hope you like it and forgive me any mistakes. In this au, Baby!Reader (aka bby!reader) is the child of Rhaenyra and Criston. Daeron was not mentioned for the following reasons: Rhaenyra would never let her bby marry Daeron, because he lives in Oldtown, however, if you want, I can make a separate hc of how bby!reader's marriage to Daeron would be. Enjoyy! ❤️
❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, unhealthy romantic relationships, slight mention of murder and jealousy.
❝🐉pairing: yandere!aegon ii targaryen x gn!reader, yandere!helaena targaryen x gn!reader and yandere!aemond targaryen x gn!reader
Tumblr media
Aegon II Targaryen
Aegon will make a good husband for Baby!Reader, unbelievable as that is. He would be completely loyal to his darling, not only because he is in love with them, but he is deeply obsessed from a young age and now that he has them, Aegon will not let anything spoil their marriage. Nothing matters more to him than his sweetheart, and now that he finally has them, Aegon will do anything to make them happy and content by his side. It's you against the world.
Aegon is extremely clingy to his darling's affection and will become very sullen if he doesn't get the attention and affection he craves. He is completely emotionally dependent on Baby!Reader and doesn't even try to hide it. If anyone has all the influence and control over the Green King, it's you. Aegon will do anything for you, anything at all. You deserve the world and Aegon will give it to you. The only thing he wants in return it's your unconditional love.
Definitely a possessive and jealous husband, but not for less. Aegon has spent years pining for your love and he won't let anyone spoil that. You are his and his alone. He will make you and the others understand that they shouldn't try to steal you from him if they don't want to be fed to Sunfyre. Aegon gets jealous very easily and it's up to Baby!Reader to reassure him, to show him all the love Aegon is so desperate for. Definitely very jealous sex as he is absolutely crazy about you and jealous. It's not pretty to see him jealous and it always ends up in someone's death and an angry Aegon at Baby!Reader, though he will never hurt you or lift a finger at you.
Aegon is affectionate and kind to you, but a big pervert too. It's impossible to count how many times you and he have been caught in intimate moments because you can't control each other. He can be smooth as a beast in bed, it all depends on how you're feeling. Definitely very sticky and loves aftercare. He will lie on your chest and fall asleep right there, naked under you. You are everything to him.
How much this man loves Baby!Reader isn't said enough. Aegon will do everything in his power to make them happy, he's not the type to bring you flowers unless you ask him to, but Aegon has his own way of showing how much he loves you. You will be pampered immensely by him, he wants you to know that you deserve everything and he will do just that. Aegon only wants your happiness and he wants her reason, you should be happy with him and only him. You're the only person he listens to and says he's right, you have all the power and he couldn't be happier about it. Aegon is his and will always be yours alone.
''We could run away and leave all this behind. We can start over, just you and me.
Helaena Targaryen
Helaena is, without a doubt, the best wife anyone could imagine, although this is not shown. She is so kind and passionate about her sweetheart and is always thinking about them. She's so devoted to them that it's adorable and disturbing at the same time, Helaena loves everything about Baby!Reader and was ecstatic to find out that she was going to marry them, it's been her dream for as long as she's known herself in person. There is no doubting Helaena's loyalty to her darling and she will be very happy to have children with them, to have a family with Baby!Reader.
Helaena is not usually possessive of her darling's attention, she understands that she can't always be attached to her spouse, but she can't help but want that. Their presence is comforting and much appreciated by the princess and Helaena will make the most of you. She enjoys spending time with her bugs when Baby!Reader isn't around, but prefers to stay with them. She is understanding and so loving, it is very common to see her smiling from ear-to-ear when she is with her darling, when she is with the person she loves more than anything.
It's very rare for her to be jealous of someone, she knows her spouse loves her and has nothing to worry about, but she can't help but feel insecure when she sees them around people who could have married them. Helaena is shy and will keep quiet about it, but inside she will be seething with jealousy and wishing someone dead. She will be upset and hurt and it will take Baby!Reader to understand her insecurities in order to reassure her of their love, usually with gentle kisses and soft caresses, plus a few gifts that please her.
Helaena loves being gently and affectionately touched by her spouse, not always in a sexual context, lying in Baby!Reader's arms is heaven according to her and she will be more than satisfied with passionate hugs and kisses, which can take something else or not. She is very affectionate and soft when touching her darling, with hesitant and passionate touches, with some incense present in the room to make everything more romantic. Helaena prefers to take care of her spouse but doesn't mind being pampered and would love it if they did.
It's no secret how in love Helaena is about Baby!Reader, as she always has been and seems to follow him with her eyes everywhere, yearning for them all the time. Definitely the type to send them gifts, not always fancy jewelry but self-made gifts like embroidery and handmade stuff. She is extremely devoted and passionate about them and knowing that they feel the same way about her makes Helaena more than happy. She loves and is loved back so intensely that she feels she could die of happiness. You are everything to her and Helaena will do anything in her power to make you happy.
''Our love shall be eternal. And it will be.''
Aemond Targaryen
Aemond is the best husband Baby!Reader could ask for under the right circumstances. He always considered himself the best option for them and was pleased when others realized the same. He makes a great husband, is kind and protective of his sweetheart, and is deeply in love with them. Aemond worship the floor Baby!Reader walks and will do anything you ask, your one and only loyal protector for the rest of your married life. Although Aemond can be difficult to deal with at times, you are the only important person in his life and nothing and no one will take you away from him. You are his and he is yours.
Aemond isn't usually clingy and it's rare to see him demanding your attention, but that doesn't mean you can give it to other people. He will almost always be hanging around Baby!Reader and coldly staring anyone who gets too close, especially if they are people who are of the same family as him.
To say that Aemond is possessive is an understatement, no, this man is made of jealousy. He will be seething with jealousy of everyone who approaches his darling, who looks and even breathes in their direction. An jealous Aemond is extremely more violent and furious than normal, he will challenge anyone to a fight, telling Baby!Reader to note how he is worthy of them and no one else. He will be clingy in cases of extreme jealousy and will not leave his sweetheart's side, making it very clear who they belong to.
Aemond is delicate and kind to you, his soft touches and callused fingers will touch you however you like, the way you like. He can be as affectionate and gentle as he is strong and furious, it all depends on what you want and your mood. Aemond likes to be touched by you, whether it's sexual or not, he likes to be hugged or just holding your hand affectionately. It makes him feel safe, secure that his darling loves him just as much as he does love them. He'll never admit it, but Aemond can feel particularly needy and have self-esteem issues in his relationship with Baby!Reader, so every now and then he needs to be sure that his darling will never leave him.
A marriage to Aemond Targaryen may have challenges along the way, but he loves his darling and will do anything to make it work. He has and must make it work. Though he has his issues, Aemond proves to be a suitable and loving husband for Baby!Readr, always looking out for them and loving them the way it should be done. A lot of pampering is expected from him and he will be more than happy if his spouse does the same for him. Flights into Vhagar are included if you so desire. You are Aemond's life and he wants you to be happy with him, for him.
''You are my life and I will love you until my last breath.''
689 notes · View notes
cutielando · 21 days
Note
the last social media au was so cute!! maybe one where george’s gf is a famous romance book author and when they make the relationship public his friends cannot believe posh “arms against the wall 2023 intro package pose” george could be the inspiration for all the smutty scenes his gf is famous for (only if your comfortable of course!)
instagram au
synopsis: this wonderful request ❤️✨
my masterlist
♡♡♡♡♡
Instagram
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by zendaya, georgerussell63 and 301,584 others
yourusername working on something very special 🌸
view all 50,195 comments
booklover101 YAS BITCHES WE'RE GETTING A NEW BOOK!!!!!
chillypeppers Y/N on her way to releasing yet another banger😮‍💨😮‍💨
zendaya what u cooking bby?😉💞
yourusername something with an extra bit of spice🥵
user1 is nobody else wondering who she's writing the *explicit* scenes about?
user2 lol she most probably has a boyfriend or something
user3 or maybe she's just like any other young woman lmao
lilymhe i'm literally obsessed with the way you write🤤
yourusername thank you baby. i'll let you in on a secret later for this ;)
user4 we all want to be lily right now :((((
landonorris do you ever run out of things to write?
yourusername not really, no
lilyzneimer the book is coming along beautifully ❤️
yourusername thank you honey✨🌸❤️
oscarpiastri did you give her a sneak peek??????????
yourusername ...maybe
oscarpiastri deeply betrayed
georgerussell63 my beautiful girl this comment has been deleted
user5 GEORGE????????
user6 IS GEORGE THE SECRET BOYFRIEND?????
charles_leclerc can't wait to read it
yourusername you’re just like one of the girlies charlie 🌸🌸🌸
user2 the amount of money i spend on her books is so unhealthy but i don’t care. TAKE ALL MY MONEY BABY 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
user3 is it a stand-alone or is the new book going to be part of a series?👀
yourusername i’m planning a new series soon, but my next release is going to be a stand-alone 🌸
user4 i love her, she is the sweetest 🥰🥰
iMessage
george 🩵
i might have just fucked up
y/n ❤️
you're hopeless
george 🩵
do you think people saw the comment?
y/n ❤️
judging by the way my phone has been blowing up, i think they have
george 🩵
i'm sorry, my love
y/n ❤️
it's okay, don't worry. now we can mess with the fans for a bit ;)
Twitter
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Instagram
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by georgerussell63, zendaya and 401,639 others
yourusername “racing hearts” is now yours, my lovelies. this book holds a very dear place in my heart and i hope that it will speak to you like it spoke to me when i first started writing it. thank you to everyone who came to the book signing yesterday, you make my life all that more special ✨❤️🌸💞
view all 98,374 comments
georgerussell63 beautiful book, who were you thinking about when you wrote it?🤔
yourusername you know, just a random Brit
georgerussell63 must be one hell of a guy to get a book of his own
yourusername he really is
zendaya you have outdone yourself once again. reading your books has become a MUST ✨✨✨
yourusername thank you honey 💞💞💞
landonorris you went wild again, didn’t you?
yourusername i might have
landonorris do i even wanna read it?
yourusername honestly? probably not
lilyzneimer it’s even better than what i thought 💞
yourusername i always have a trick or two up my sleeve 😉🌸
charles_leclerc someone should censor you
yourusername where would be the fun in that?
charles_leclerc how does your manager approve of this?
yourmanager i’m one of the girlies 🌸
charles_leclerc that explains it
booklover101 THE WAY I SCREAMED WHILE READING IT HAS ME INSANE
booklover101 YOU DESERVE EVERY AWARD IN THE WHOLE WORLD
chillypepper i have no words. i said it before and i’ll say it again. she is the best author of her generation
user1 never beating the dating allegations now
user2 she literally named her main character RUSSELL, HOW DO PEOPLE STILL THINK HER AND GEORGE AREN’T DATING??????
user3 George is the luckiest man in the world😭😭
user4 he must really rock your world if those scenes are anything like the real thing
yourusername you have no idea 🤭
mercedesamgf1 I couldn't put it down. Amazing work, Y/N!!
yourusername thank you admin 🌸💞💞
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, lilyzneimer and 601,583 others
georgerussell63 Words can't describe how proud I am of you. The way you connect with your readers, the way you give life to every story you write never ceases to amaze me. I'm thankful to be able to watch you do your thing, watch you inspire so many young writers to chase their dreams. I love you 💞 P.S. Yes, I am the inspiration behind the sexy scenes ;) tagged: yourusername
view all 99,281 comments
yourusername your support means everything to me. thank you for always being here for me, helping me through my writer's block and cheering me on. i love you more than you know💞🌸
georgerussell63 i love you more❤️
landonorris i know way too much about your personal life now, mate
georgerussell63 jealous?
landonorris as if
yourusername don't fight boys, what would Russell and Brendan think about you two fighting?
landonorris BRENDAN IS ME?????????
yourusername oops👀
user1 i am in love with their love😮‍💨❤️
user2 going to jump off a cliff, brb
user3 i cannot believe i know stuff about George Russell's sex life👀
user4 George's? HOW ABOUT OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE Y/N'S?
alex_albon simp
georgerussell63 how can i not be? just look at Y/N
yourusername baby🥹💞❤️🌸
alex_albon you two make me sick. i preferred it when you weren't public
georgerussell63 and i preferred it when you shut up
lilymhe we are all in love with Y/N ✨❤️👀
yourusername but you’re the one who has my heart baby 💞💞
georgerussell63 ?????????
yourusername sorry babe 😁💞
mercedesamgf1 Our favorite couple!❤️ liked by yourusername and georgerussell63
Tumblr media
Thank you so much for requesting!!! I hope you like this !!! ❤️❤️
♡♡♡♡♡
comments and re-blogs help us grow!
much appreciated!!
JOIN MY TAG LIST HERE
REQUEST HERE
♡♡♡♡♡
Tag list: @outerudeth @orlafitz1664 @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @lanad3lslay @dardouni @saturnssunflower @lottef1 @moony-artemis @blissfulsunsetstuff @samantha-chicago @nikfigueiredo @therealcap @iloveyou3000morgan @angiesw0rld @cinnamongirlontv @daemyratwst @rqlstefanny @bwormie @betterwhenimeating @hangmandruigandmav @sbrn0905 @kagome45 @enidsinclairaddamsthesecond @tsukishitm-a @tallrock35 @sesamepancakes @hsfallingsky @boywondrgrayson @evlkking @evie-119
297 notes · View notes
Note
Lovesick Alastor headcannons? also can it be slight yandere coded, with a AFAB reader? would also like this to be in the 60’s AU, if that’s okay!!
A/n: 60’s? Alastor? Yandere? The killer is literally having all the cards in his favor rn 😨😨 !! But don’t worry bby I like this thought, AND HE’S LOVESICK??? 10/10 delulu thought bc we all know Alastor wouldn’t be like this ( but yk, I feed into my delusions, so today he’s gonna be a lovesick mf thank you 😝 ) Also, HUMAN ALASTOR BECAUSE THE GIRLIES THAT LOVE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS I DO MUST BE FED !!!!!
𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺: yandere themes! Unhealthy obsession! NSFW ahead! Reader is headcannoned as AFAB but can be read otherwise! Mentions of race & segregation! Mentions of drinking & smoking!
ੈ✩‧₊˚𝙉𝘼𝙑𝙄𝙂𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *
Songs you can play while listening: We’ll meet Again By Vera Lyn. Lovefool by the Cardigans. Try a Little Tenderness By Otis Redding ( or Frank Sinatra however you see fit ). Come Fly with me by Frank Sinatra. These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding. Are you lonesome tonight by Elvis Presley. Strangers in the night by Frank Sinatra. Cant help falling in love by Elvis Presley.
⋆˚✿˖° 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑶𝑳 ⋆˚✿˖°
Tumblr media
Lovesick Alastor would include….
A large sum of gifts
dancing to elvis
Have a ton of bouquets your not sure what to do
Having to go out of the city to a smaller town so you two can have some sort of privacy
alastor gets into more ‘white’ bars than people expect and only because of his status, it deeply bothers him
Dancing to frank sinatra >>>
he takes you dancing a lot, like a WHOLE LOT
drive ins a are a must, and it’s always so romantic, even if it’s simple you know? he usually parks away from other people to make it more private
make out sessions in his car at said drive in
he really likes getting milk shakes with you
attends elvis shows with you and you both just stand really close to the divider so when it eventually breaks you two are already so close together
having to sneak around at night so you two don’t get caught with one another
adoring his mother and her cooking
ALASTOR WITH A FANCY CAR >>>>>
alastor kills anyone he sees interact with you while you’re at work, or just anyone he doesn’t like near you in general
kills your neighbor because he saw alastor leaving your house ( you will never know )
Alastor likes helping you pick dresses and do your hair, he also learnt a lot from his mother in this aspect
sewing together >>>
you two often sit by the river together sometimes even late at night
he loves when you run to him scared about the killer in the area, he thinks it’s ironic and funny
would do anything and everything for you
helps fix your house, he’s very handy
secretly envies the younger children with fathers that actually talk to them
523 notes · View notes
the-boy-meets-evil · 8 months
Text
some habits are hard to break | feat. jungkook
Tumblr media
(where you know that jungkook is the last person you should keep running back to, but neither of you can seem to let the other go.)
pairing: jungkook x fem!reader genre: angst, smut, est. relationship rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~12.5k warnings: the relationship isn't healthy (but they're very human), miscommunications, misplaced hope, bad habits, unhealthy coping mechanisms, cheating (reader on unnamed boyfriend), mentions of past trauma (reader), mentions of therapy, mentions of mental health struggles (reader), explicit smut: unprotected sex (don't do this), fingering (f. receiving), oral sex (f. receiving), handjob, semi public sex (behind a closed door at a club), teasing, hair pulling, light choking, i think that's it but let me know if i missed anything
a/n: she is finally here! i did not expect this fic to take me this long, but here we are. thank you to one of my favorite humans @ugh-yoongi for reading this over and assuring me they weren't terrible, just human. this story feels personal to me so that was reassuring.
a/n 2: lauren has asked for a pt 2, so i’ll be writing that after i get through both my collabs due in august 💕 banner/divider credit: my bby @classicscreations who always comes through tagging: @pjmparadise @axialitae
Tumblr media
Every single thought is the same. You know better than to send the text sitting on your phone. You know precisely why it’s wrong. You know that nothing is ever going to change.
Here’s the thing. You’re in a healthy, stable relationship with someone who’s good to you and for you. He’s honest and caring, funny and sweet. Despite all of your baggage, he never makes you feel less than, never makes you feel broken. This is the first time in your life that you’ve been able to lay all your shit on the table and have someone accept it unconditionally. And he always does what he says he’s going to. You’re never up waiting at 2 in the morning, wondering where he is because he hasn’t called or texted.
So, yeah, things with him are good, great even.
But…
And that’s the thing, isn’t it? As soon as there’s a but, it’s like you can’t see all of the good. It’s all just a placeholder before what may be the worst three-letter word in the English language. You wonder if it means there’s just something fundamentally wrong with you. Who looks for the “buts” of every situation? Why can’t you just appreciate all the truly wonderful things in your relationship?
Because you’ve had the one thing you’re missing. You know it exists and it’s hard to forget.
Your boyfriend is great, perfect, even, in almost every way that matters. It’s just, you’re not exactly…satisfied. And you know that you could guide him to be better for you in that way. He just seems a bit sensitive about it at times and you don’t want to make him feel less than since he never does that to you.
This is exactly why you’re staring at your phone. Paralyzed because you both want to send the text and know you really can’t. Your body remembers his, remembers the way the slightest touch sent your heart racing. You try to also remember every word he’s ever uttered to you, too, because he’s always been very clear about who he is.
It’s fucked up that you’re even considering it, beyond wrong that you typed those 5 words out in an empty conversation thread. (Even though you usually keep every conversation, you deleted this one after you got serious about your boyfriend. You say it’s to keep the temptation away, but really, how well is that working now?)
You: what are you up to?
Just like that, your need to fill your desires wins out against every other rational thought you have. Part of you hopes that he doesn’t respond. It’s been months since you last spoke and you know he’s got a short attention span. Maybe he’ll spare you having to make a final decision.
Jungkook: out getting some drinks with friends
He doesn’t. His answer comes in far quicker than you expect it to and you get that same feeling in your stomach. Like anticipation mixed with desire. You’re so fucked.
Jungkook: what are you up to?
Tomorrow you’ll look back and realize this is a chance to bow out, to realize that this is a mistake. That you hadn’t sealed your fate when you sent the first message. You could still just bow out and walk away, leave the message unanswered.
You don’t.
You: nothing, just at home alone Jungkook: what about the boyfriend? You: away for work
You know that you should feel bad now. A normal person might realize that this was destructive behavior, that you’re purposely sabotaging your own long-term happiness for instant gratification. At least, that’s what your therapist tells you.
Jungkook: I can be home in 15 minutes, I’m just around the corner
The message is really your last chance, whether you consciously think about it or not. There was no preamble with Jungkook. He assumes you’re texting him so you can come over. And he’s right, isn’t he? You weren’t exactly texting to catch up with someone you weren’t ever friends with anyway. No, you’re both adults and you know what this is. Just like you’ve always known.
You: give me 30 and I’ll be over
Was there really any other outcome? From the moment you opened Jungkook’s contact to start a text, this was the inevitable end. You can pretend that you have control and you were on the fence. But, you know the truth, and so does Jungkook. He knows it from the moment your name appears on his lock screen. This only ends one way, the same way it’s ended countless times before.
Thirty minutes later, after cleaning up and getting dressed, you stand on Jungkook’s doorstep. There’s a moment where you genuinely question if this is smart. Smart is the wrong word, you think. Of course, this is fucking stupid. You could ask 100 people and every single one of them would probably tell you to turn around. So no, this isn’t smart.  The real question is if you’re going to do it anyway.
Jungkook opens the door before you even knock and the question dies. There he is, in baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt, like the true fuckboy you know he is, and your body remembers. It remembers every kiss, every touch, every tremble. It starts to react without your permission.  By the smirk he’s wearing, you can tell Jungkook remembers too.
“Right on time,” he says, leaning against the door frame like he needs the support.
“Are we gonna have a whole conversation out here?” It’s a challenge and a mistake all rolled into one.
He doesn’t answer, just moves aside so that you can step past him. There’s a moment, as you’re stepping past him and glancing around his apartment, of nerves. Of wondering what the fuck is going on. But his apartment hasn’t changed, not that you expected it to, and neither has he.
“Want anything to drink?” he asks, moving around you to the kitchen. He looks back over his shoulder at you, a confident smirk on his lips. “We could do a couple shots.”
“Trying to get me drunk?” you wonder. Still, you follow him into the kitchen.
“No, definitely not.” His answer is swift and his eyes roam over you, appraising. “You just seem a little on edge.”
“Wonder why that is,” you huff out.
Jungkook leans back against the counter, eyes still trained on you. “If you don’t want to be here…”
“I didn’t say that either,” you respond.
There’s this weird tension settling between the two of you and you’re not really sure what to do about it. Not really sure how to get out of your head for even a second. That’s when you feel Jungkook’s hands on your hips, pulling you back against his body where he still leans against the counter.
“I don’t want you to feel pressured,” he says and dips his head to kiss along your jawline.
“I don’t,” you respond.
“Do you want me to stop?” he whispers against your skin as he continues to kiss down your neck.
The only thing that comes out for a second is a hum when Jungkook lightly sucks at the base of your neck where it meets your collarbone. “No.”
“Are you sure?” He’s pulled back now and looking you directly in the eye.
You take a breath and then another when your heart starts to speed up. The only thoughts are of his lips on yours, his fingers grazing along your body. Slowly your fingers trail up his arms and he doesn’t move at all. Just watches you and waits for you to make your decision. Leaves it all up to you.
So you do the only thing you can, the only thing you were going to do once you sent that text. You let your fingers find purchase in his hair and you press your lips hard against his. He’s turning the two of you around in an instant so it’s you pressed into the counter. The kiss is hard and desperate, like you’ve both been starved and this is the only way to solve that. His hands feel like they’re everywhere and it’s still not enough, not completely what you need. Nobody has ever set your body on fire just from kissing the way Jungkook does. It’s bliss the way your brain goes almost silent except for thoughts of him. And you know he’s just as turned on, can feel it in the way he’s pressing against you.
Jungkook kisses down your neck again and you don’t even bother to hold back the moan. When you feel him lightly sucking into your skin before pulling away, part of you wishes he’d do it harder. Wishes he’d leave a mark. Wishes for something to show what you’re doing here tonight without you having to say it. He doesn’t, though, and you know he wouldn’t even if you asked.
Instead he pulls away, smirks at your whimper from the lack of contact, and reaches for the hem of your shirt. He’s still asking permission, so you give it. Your shirt and bra disappear in record time and his mouth is back on. Softly kissing down the space between your breasts and across the underside of one. It’s too much, the way he knows exactly what you need, the way his lip ring teases you as he moves across your skin, the way he stops to just look at you when he knows he’s driving you crazy.
Well, you think, two can play at that game. Before he even realizes what you’re doing, you’re spitting into your hand and reaching inside his sweats and boxers (since he’s annoyingly still clothed). You’re slowly dragging your hand along his length, moving painfully slowly. He groans when you slide your thumb over his tip and pulls back.
“Fuck,” he says and slowly pulls your hand out.
“What?” you ask, actually confused.
“Come on, I can’t fuck you against this counter but if we don’t get out of here, I’m gonna try,” he says and pulls you along into the bedroom.
Jungkook kisses you hard and lightly pushes you back onto the bed. You prop yourself up to watch him quickly undress. You love watching the way his muscles contract with each movement, love the lean lines of his body, absolutely love everything about him. If he sees you watching him, which you’re sure he does, he doesn’t say anything. Instead he leans over you, kisses you hard again as he pulls your pants and underwear off nearly in one motion.
“Eager,” you taunt.
“You won’t be saying that when you can’t walk tomorrow,” he says.
Before you can answer, Jungkook is flipping you over so that you’re on your hands and knees, pressing down on your back so your ass is in the air. You’re a little surprised, because usually he takes his time with you. Not that you’re complaining. He moves on the bed and then you hear a bottle opening seconds before you feel the cold liquid at your entrance. He may be a lot of things, but he always makes sure you’re taken care of.
Despite his words, he still slides into you slowly and lets you adjust to him. His hands grip your hips tightly as he rolls his hips into you almost carefully, like he’s not sure if you’re adjusted. It’s bordering on painful that he’s so still.
“Fuck Jungkook, move,” you whine.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“Just fuck me, please fuck me,” you beg and you hear the low chuckle.
“Thought you’d never ask,” he says and snaps into you hard.
“Fuckkkkkk,” you draw out.
Removing one hand from your hip, he presses you back down into the mattress. You arch your back further so he has a better angle and let the pillow muffle your moans. It mixes with his own groans and the slap of his skin against yours every time he buries himself fully inside you. There’s something frantic about it and you’re sure this is what you’ve been missing. Sure this is what you need. He removes his hand from your hip again and roughly slaps your ass.
“Oh my god, Jungkook,” you yell.
He slaps your other ass cheek and it makes you scream out again. Yes, this is what you need. Someone to be a little rougher with you. Someone who doesn’t treat you like you’re going to break or worry if you can take it because he knows. He knows exactly what you can take and exactly what you like. Him pulling on your hair is only further proof of that.
And then he’s pulling you to him, so that your back is against his chest. The new angle has him hitting deeper inside you, reaching that spot that nearly has you seeing stars. Jungkook moves his hand out of your hair around your neck, gripping lightly.
“Do you like that, baby?” he whispers roughly in your ear.
“Yes,” you moan out.
“Because I fuck you the best,” he continues.
“Jungkook, fuck, just fucking choke me, please,” you beg, unbothered by how much you’re begging him.
That doesn’t need any answer from him beyond his fingers tightening around your throat. It’s the perfect pressure too, just like every other time he’s choked you while fucking. It makes you feel a little lightheaded but also like everything feels that much more amplified. Every hard thrust into your cunt pushes you closer to the edge. Every breath sounds louder. Everything is just more.
He also knows your body to know when you’re close. You almost whine when he removes his hand from your throat because you felt like you were about to come. And then he rubs a thumb over your clit, continues to make sure you come first, like always.
“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna come,” you shout.
“Come on baby, I wanna feel you come,” he says into your ear.
It’s the only permission you need as you let go. Somewhere, in the haze of your high, you can tell that he’s coming too, that his release comes just after yours. It’s all you can do not to slump against his body, though. His arms are strong around you as he pulls out so that both of you can lay down on the bed.
A few minutes later, after he’s cleaned you both off and you’re lying together in bed, you wonder how you’re going to extract yourself. You’ve never really felt awkward around him, so you’re not really sure why you do now.
“I should be going,” you say and start to sit up.
Jungkook is quick to pull you back down. He meets your look of confusion with nothing but desire. You think, not for the first time, it’s the kind of look that you drown in. The kind of look that ruins you.
“And just where do you think you’re going?” he asks.
“Home?” you offer.
“Why?” he fires back.
“I don’t know, Jungkook, we already fucked,” you say. Part of you is a little exasperated at having to spell it out.
“Do you really think I’m going to let you leave here when I haven’t even tasted you?” he asks.
Fuck.
(He follows through with exactly what he says. It’s slow and measured, like he wants to pull apart every thread you have one by one. Like he wants to ruin you for anyone that isn’t him. Like he doesn’t know he already has.
The lip ring is new since the last time you fucked him and you’re not sure if you’ll even be able to tell when he’s between your legs. Until you’re praising him so loudly you’re sure his neighbors must hear. Or maybe it’s just because he’s so good at getting you off. Even if tonight, he takes his time, brings you to the edge over and over before finally letting you slip over.
It’s the early hours of the morning by the time you’re both worn out. You offer to call a ride, only to have him insist you stay. It’s much too late to be going anywhere when he’d be worried if you were safe or not. So you stay and it’s the best sleep you’ve gotten in awhile.)
Tumblr media
The wait is excruciating. Your boyfriend comes home tonight and it’s terrible timing, you know, but you also know that you have to tell him what happened. It isn’t fair to him to just go on without knowing. He’s one of the kindest people in the world, doesn’t deserve this. He’s not broken like you, something you’ve pointed out since the beginning. Maybe those intrusive thoughts were right and you just aren’t built for healthy relationships.
Although you haven’t told many of your friends what happened, you had to confide in a few. Each of them tells you that you shouldn’t tell him what happened. They say that it’s just one of those things where confessing might make you feel better, but it’ll only make him feel shitty. It’s hard to know how he’ll feel. Shitty is probably fair. But, you think they’re wrong about how you’ll feel. Getting this off your chest will just replace one weight with another. Wanting to come clean isn’t about clearing your own conscience. It’s about honesty and him having the ability to make an informed decision.
It actually goes far better than you thought, somehow. He’s hurt, how could he not be? Despite that, he’s calm in the conversation. Instead of breaking it off there and then, which is what you expect, he suggests taking a step back. It’ll allow the relationship to be less defined and maybe less serious. You can’t really believe it when he says that he’s there to work things out with you and give you the space to figure out what you need. It breaks your heart a little bit more, somehow, to see him so patient with you. You don’t deserve it.
Instead of seeing this as a failure, he wants you to see it for what he sees it as. This is just a slip, a step back. There’s been so much trauma in your life that it’s natural for you to have moments where you slip. He’s hurt, yes, he’ll admit that, but he’s not angry with you. At the end of the day, he genuinely cares for you and he’s willing to do whatever it is the both of you need in order to move forward. You both agree that therapy as a couple might be important. However, he insists that it can wait while you sort through how you’re feeling.
Overall, you think you feel okay about it. Things will look different with him for the time being, but you can actually see past this moment in time. That’s new for you. You’re feeling hopeful for the future and you even let yourself imagine a future with him in it. Maybe this isn’t the end of the world after all. Maybe this is just something you actually needed to close a chapter.
Tumblr media
Weeks go by. Therapy is back to being once a week, sometimes twice when the sessions fit into your work schedule, and you do trust this therapist. Really, you do. She listens to everything you say and interjects in meaningful ways. It’s clear that she’s actually listening to you and giving you genuine feedback, rather than some previous therapists that only asked how something made you feel. Sitting in that office has forced you to face a lot of deep-seated issues, everything from your childhood to past relationships to the deepest recesses of your mind. Sometimes you don’t really want to relive those moments, but she’s always done a good job of explaining why you need to do the work.
But…
And there it is, again, that stupid three-letter word that brings everything to a screeching halt.
Despite all your therapist’s work, there’s a part of you that doesn’t see the future anymore. Therapy is wonderful and you’re actually really thankful you found this therapist. You’re sleeping better, you feel lighter, and the world doesn’t feel like it’s going to crush you every day. Maybe she’s a little too good at her job, though, because you’re wondering how to move forward. Your boyfriend is perfect…for someone. And you’re not sure anymore if that someone is you.
It’s been weeks and he’s still just content to take the backseat while you do whatever work you need to do. It’s stupid, you know it’s stupid, but you want him to fight for you. You want to see that he is actually upset over what happened with Jungkook. It’s not healthy, you know that and your therapist reminds you it’s not healthy. You’re doing everything you can to make your brain catch up that it’s not healthy. You can’t shake it, though. All the doubts and insecurities creep back in when he still doesn’t seem bothered.
So you do the only thing you can think of, the thing your therapist disagrees with. Well, disagrees with the reasoning, not with the idea itself. You break off the relationship. He tries to approach it in such a way that leaves the door open for you both to come back to it down the road. You don’t want loose ends, so you lie. It hurts to see his face crumble when you say you just don’t love him and he should find someone that does. It’s cruel. You hate yourself for doing it. But you think it’s easier this way. This is too comfortable and you don’t want to string him along.
Then, you make the second decision your therapist disagrees with and text Jungkook. After seeing she can’t make you see her perspective on the break-up, she suggests spending some time alone to learn more about yourself. That’s terrifying. If she could hear your thoughts, surely she would not suggest leaving you alone with them. They’re intrusive and self-sabotaging and just loud, so loud.
Unsurprisingly, Jungkook is happy to hear from you, happier still to know that you’re unattached again. Not that he minds being discreet, he’s happy to confine things to the four walls of his apartment. It’s just that he also likes to get you dressed up and go out. He’s always liked having someone pretty on his arm, even if he’s just at some local sports bar.
That’s not where you end up tonight, though. Your head is especially loud and you want some quiet. Need to get lost in something other than the potential mess you’re making of your life. When Jungkook suggests a club a friend of his owns, you say yes before he even finishes asking. The place is familiar to you and it’s perfect, in all its noise, low lighting, and crowded spaces. There’s no better way (at least as far as you know) of quieting your brain than going somewhere even louder.
It’s easy to get lost, several drinks in, as you press your back into Jungkook on the dance floor. The tight dress that seemed like such a good idea rides up your thighs now, with a little help from the light sheen of sweat covering your body and a little more help from Jungkook’s hands that grip you tightly.
Everything is familiar. You’ve been here before, to this exact club with Jungkook, more than once. And it’s the kind of easy you’re looking for now. As his hand inches further up your thigh, you press further back into him, looking to erase any space between the two of you. Tonight is just to forget and Jungkook is excellent at that.
Maybe if you were a little less drunk, you would stop his hand. You are in public, after all. As it is, you really don’t care. He likes to tease, gets off knowing someone may see, and you’re not in the mood to put a stop to it. Tonight, he seems even more daring than usual. He lets his thumb graze the thin layer of fabric at your core, likely feeling how much you want him. You shudder as his warm breath tickles your ear.
“There’s a storage closet in the back that might be unlocked,” he says, voice low with desire.
And that’s new because you’re certain that of all the times you’ve fucked Jungkook, none of them have been at the club. It’s been close, getting a little carried away under the table in one of the VIP booths, running his hand up your shirt on the dance floor, but you’ve never fucked him here. You’re also a little too tipsy to register that at the moment when all you want is him.
It’s too loud for you to answer him so you just squeeze his hand and nod. That’s all the permission he needs, anyway. Before you can give it a second thought, he’s pulling you off the dance floor and down a hallway. He looks around like he’s not completely sure where he’s going and then sees a door.
The door opens and you’re both in without another thought. Jungkook crowds your space, pressing you against the closed door and stealing your gasp with his lips on yours. Your hands find purchase in his slightly shaggy hair and one of his hands digs into your hip, holding you firmly in place. Like there’s anywhere else you would rather be in that moment.
From the moment his lips make contact with yours, you remember why you ignored your therapist and walked away from your relationship. It’s just a kiss, granted a pretty heated one, but still. It’s just a kiss and your whole body is alive in a way it hasn’t been since the last time you were with him. As he trails kisses across your jaw and down your neck, you can feel the heat he leaves behind with each touch.
Jungkook also never makes you feel self-conscious about the way your body responds to him. Not that your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend now, ever said anything about your moans, but he was also really quiet in bed. And you stopped reacting as much, because it wasn’t the best part of your relationship. Not that you want to be dwelling on that now. Not as Jungkook is working his way down your body, clearly just as turned on as you, eliciting soft moans as he goes.
When he drops to his knees in front of you, you think you may really be done for. He lifts one of your legs and rests it on his shoulder, your dress hiking up around your hips in the process. You lean back against the door for support as his tongue makes contact through the thin fabric. It’s another tease, a Jungkook specialty, and you find you don’t much care. Thankfully, he quickly moves the fabric to the side. The movements of his tongue, fast and slow and fast again, are perfect. Your brain goes blank, just the kind of blank you need. No thoughts except for his tongue on you and the bliss of it. Even the thud of the bass out in the club dulls to background noise. Every one of your senses is present in this moment in a way you haven’t been lately.
His movements quicken and you knot your hands in his hair both to find purchase and to let him know that you’re close. Not that it’s hard to tell by the increase in your moans. He knows what he’s doing and he knows that he’s got you on the edge. You want to tell him that you want to feel him inside you and can’t make yourself speak the words. A second later it doesn’t matter. He slides one finger in, then quickly adds another and your brain goes fuzzy.
He pushes you over the edge too fast, you want to savor more of this moment, more of him. You register that somewhere in your bliss coming down from the orgasm. You need more of him, more contact, more of whatever it is that makes your brain go quiet. You’re catching your breath and refocusing when you notice his pants down around his ankles. Did he get that hard just from getting you off? He’s already pulling a condom on and you’re almost relieved.
“You didn’t think I was done with you yet, did you?” His confidence drips off of him when he’s like this and you wish you were the kind of girl who had something witty to say back. You wish, at least now, that he didn’t affect you like this.
Instead, all you do is shake your head at him. You don’t trust yourself to speak and he doesn’t seem to mind. In one movement, he puts his hands on the back of your thighs and picks you up, still keeping you pressed against the door. The next second, he’s slowly sliding into you, letting you adjust. It’s the only break he gives you before setting a fast pace. Your legs tighten around him and your nails dig into his back. You’re sure they would leave a mark if he didn’t have a shirt on. Part of you hopes maybe they still will.
One of the best parts about Jungkook is that he doesn’t ever need to ask what you want, he just seems to know. He knows what you like and when you want something faster like this or when to take his time. It’s like he’s mapped your body with the way he’s able to hit just the right spots in just the right way.
Your head rolls back against the door, eyes closed and brain numb. Even then, he manages to bring you back to him, kissing up your neck until you meet his lips. The kiss is messy, capturing each of your moans as they escape. Jungkook’s grip on your thighs is as strong as the pace he’s setting and it isn’t long before you’re falling over the edge again.
A pleasant daze settles over you as you do your best to look presentable so that you can leave the club. (You don’t succeed and you definitely look just fucked, but the club is in full swing and the only people who might be able to tell are the poor workers that have to stay sober).
“Do you want to come back to my apartment?” Jungkook asks the question, one hand gripping yours while the other pulls up Uber on his phone to order a ride home.
And it’s kind of funny, how he asks like he doesn’t know the answer. In the time you’ve known him, Jungkook has been a lot of things, but he’s always been confident above all else. So it catches you off guard that he asks.
“As long as it’s okay with you,” you say and he smiles that easy smile.
“Of course,” he says.
You can’t really place the feeling that settles over you at such a small exchange, everything is crowded with the lingering effects of alcohol and sex. But something feels different and you think you like it. Almost like a part of you is waking up.
Tumblr media
The next few weeks pass in somewhat of a blur. You’re happier than you can remember feeling in a while, much more fulfilled in all aspects of your life. Despite some reservations that your therapist has, you agree to start seeing her every other week unless something changes. You’re hoping to drop it back down to once a month but understand her hesitance to make such a big change so quickly. It would be a shame to ruin all that forward progress, after all.
Most of your free time is spent with Jungkook, a fact that your best friends are quick to point out with some version of the same cautionary advice. They want you to be careful, want you to remember your history with him, don’t want you to get ahead of yourself. It seems like they just don’t understand. Yeah, you and Jungkook have been here before, multiple times, but this is different and they just haven’t seen that.
Every other time led up to this. It took a relationship falling apart for you to realize that none of the other times with Jungkook were failures, they were just your “right person, wrong time” moments. Now the timing is right for both of you.
You knock on the door to his apartment, surprise take out in one hand, realizing belatedly that maybe you should have given him a warning of some sort. What if he was busy or had already eaten?
“Oh hey, what a nice surprise,” Jungkook answers with a smile as he steps aside to let you in.
Suddenly, you feel kind of silly for the momentary worry that showing up like this would be too much. Jungkook seems like he meets you at each point, so this shouldn’t be any different. It also helps that you’ve known each other for years and you know the way to his heart (through his stomach with only his favorite foods).
The whole thing feels surprisingly normal in a way you weren’t expecting. Jungkook makes small talk as he gets plates from the kitchen and sets them down for you to eat. He offers you a drink from the fridge, gets one for himself, and it’s just…easy. The whole thing with him is easy and you’re so thankful that you took this chance. As it turns out, he’s exactly what you need. Maybe he’s even the reason your last relationship ended the way it did. Not that you would ever say that. For all his outward strength and his image, Jungkook can be surprisingly sensitive. The last thing you’d want would be him feeling responsible for causing other people pain.
You’re not really sure why you do it, but you mention that your friends have a lot of warnings about the relationship. In what should be typical Jungkook fashion, he brushes it, reassures you that you know what’s happening and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter what your friends think because you’re both happy and living in the moment. You smile at that. This is definitely the best kind of happy.
Once you’ve gotten plates of food, you settle down together and Jungkook pulls up Netflix. He’s got a whole list of movies and shows that you can pick from, all things he wants to see or thinks you’d like, he tells you. And that’s sweet, isn’t it? That he sees something on Netflix and saves it in case you want to watch it together. It makes your heart constrict a little bit. It doesn’t feel like something you do with someone who’s only casual. Surely his thinking about you, when you aren’t around, is a positive sign.
You sigh happily and let him decide what it is he wants to watch. Not that the two of you ever really finish anything. It’s the thought that counts though. And Jungkook seems to be thinking of you. For a second you wonder if this is just the list he’s created for anyone he has over, you haven’t talked about seeing other people. Until you realize that most of them are thrillers. It’s your favorite genre but probably not good for generally inviting girls over. You really need to stop second-guessing everything with him.
Tumblr media
Another few weeks go by as easily as breathing and that small part of you that’s waiting for the other shoe to drop gets even quieter. You’re not even thinking that this feels different anymore because it is different. Instead of late-night (or really any odd hour of the day) texts, you’re making actual plans on when you’re going to see each other. It doesn’t feel like a fuck buddy, it feels like someone you’re moving along with in a different way. There’s a lightness to every space of your life now, a lightness that looks a lot like Jungkook.
Of all the things Jungkook is good at, and there’s a lot, because he’s hyper-competitive and doesn’t like losing, cooking is decidedly not one. That suits you just fine, though. Cooking is an absolute favorite of yours and cooking for someone you care about makes it all that much better. It had taken a little more convincing for Jungkook agree to you coming over and cook for him, he didn’t want to be a bother, but you were glad to be here now.
“I know this isn’t really what we do, but I have a family wedding to go to, for my cousin, and I was wondering if you’d come with me? It’s kind of last minute, I know. I just wasn’t expecting to have to go alone,” you say and Jungkook puts down his fork. You’re nervous again and you’re not quite sure why.
“Sure, why not?” Jungkook says easily.
“Really?” The question is out before you can stop it.
“I like spending time with you,” Jungkook says, “we have fun.”
“We do, yeah,” you agree. “It’s just…it’s like 2 hours away, so I got a room. And you’d obviously need a suit.”
“This may come as a surprise, but I have been to a wedding or two before, so I have plenty of suits. And what kind of idiot would I be to turn down an overnight date with you?” Jungkook is smiling as he says this and it puts you at ease.
“It’s in 2 weeks, which is really soon,” you say. Jungkook pulls out his phone.
“Friday or Saturday wedding?” He’s looking through his calendar to see what he’s got going on.
“Saturday,” you say and he puts his phone down.
“That’s fine, I’ve got something going on Friday, but Saturday and Sunday are all yours,” Jungkook says.
Easy. Everything is just easy. You weren’t even really thinking of asking him to come to the wedding when you decided to cook for him. It just seemed like the right timing to ask and your cousin had just texted you that afternoon asking if she should change the seating chart. Although she said it wasn’t a big deal, you know she’s secretly going to be relieved to not change anything.
Not planning things also really is your motto these days. You weren’t planning to stay over at Jungkook’s when you offered to cook. Yet you wake up in his bed the next morning all the same, like it was a foregone conclusion the second you stepped over the threshold.
You figure now that Jungkook is coming with you to a family wedding as your date, that your friends will get off of your back about him. And most of them do. It’s been over two months of seeing him, which makes it feel more stable. Mostly, they’re happy if you’re happy and know you’re enough of an adult to handle your own life. Most days, at least. It’s just one of your closest friends that’s holding out. Not that he doesn’t like Jungkook, because he does, he’s just also been friends with you since you were kids and he’s seen how this has gone.
“It’s different, Jimin,” you say for what feels like the hundredth time.
“Have you had The Talk?” He doesn’t put quotes around it, but you can hear them in his tone anyway.
“No, we haven’t had The Talk,” you say, matching his tone. “We’re both adults, like actual adults, I don’t think it’s necessary.”
“This time around with him started with you cheating on your ex,” Jimin says in a not-so-subtle reminder. If it were anyone else, you would leave.
“Thanks, I remember,” you bite back.
“I love you, you know that. I just want to make absolutely sure you’re not going to get hurt with this. I need to know he’s in this as much as you are,” Jimin says.
“Can you ever really know that?” The question seems valid enough.
“No, everything in relationships is a calculated risk. But it’s on you to make sure you have all the numbers before doing the calculations,” Jimin says.
“Meaning?” You think you know what he means, but it’s best to be sure.
“Meaning,” Jimin says with faux exasperation, “that the talk will let you know where he stands and allow you to be on the same page. He could lie, but then that’s on him if you get hurt. If you get hurt now, when you haven’t had the talk, that’s on you.”
“Little harsh, Jiminie,” you say, using the nickname to try and soften him.
It doesn’t work and he just shrugs. “We’ve done this song and dance a few times, maybe too many times. I just don’t want to see this end badly.”
“Then have a little faith, he is coming to a family wedding,” you say.
“And some of the way the conversation went makes me a little uneasy,” Jimin admits.
“Just have some faith. This time is different, I can feel it,” you say.
There’s a lot more than Jimin wants to say, a lot more he wants you to hear. But he’s also known you for years and seen you through every one of the Jungkook phases. People change all the time, he knows that. As people grow, the things they want or need evolve. Until you have an actual chat with him, though, Jimin is not ready to say this time will be different. It’s silly because he also knows that you’re going to do what you want, you always have. Not in a bad way, you’re just very stubborn when it comes to listening to advice. All he can do is hope for the best and be there if you need a shoulder. He tries not to think when you need a shoulder. As much as he likes being right, he likes you a whole lot more and he wants this to work.
Tumblr media
The wedding goes well, great even. Jungkook is a hot topic of conversation, with a number of your family members gushing over how attractive he is and how good you look together. It gives you a small amount of pride to hear it too, even if it shouldn’t. It’s also good to have someone to retreat to when your family gets overwhelming. The added benefit of them not knowing him is that you both can slip out of conversations much easier. He’s never met anyone in your family and they don’t have as many questions for him. You also did an excellent job of establishing that you and him are very early on in the relationship, so questions about getting more serious are off the table.
Staying in a hotel with Jungkook is also a much better experience than you thought. You’ve stayed at each other’s places countless times over the years, but you’ve never gone away somewhere together. Even though it’s only a few hours from home, everything feels different. Everything feels more intimate.  And there’s something to be said for hotel sex too. Everything is new and more exciting.
You reach out to Jimin the day after you get back to let him know how things went. And you’re a little surprised by his response. Instead of being excited for you that it’s going so well, he asks again if you’ve talked to Jungkook about where you are and where you’re going. It’s kind of a buzzkill and you’re quick to tell him so. But Jimin is stubborn too.
Jimin: I love you, you’re my best friend in the entire world, but I’m scared you’re going to end up hurt Jimin: I’ll be here to celebrate once you talk to him and I’ll say sorry when it’s all cleared up, but until then, I can’t fully support it
That hurts. It’s like he doesn’t realize that in not wanting Jungkook to hurt you, he’s hurting you instead. You shake that thought off as quickly as it comes, though. It’s not his intention to hurt you and somewhere deep down, you know he’s making sense. Jimin has been your go-to person for everything in your life since a matter of months into the friendship. The two of you were able to click in a way you haven’t really experienced with anyone else. So yeah, maybe, on some level, you get where he’s coming from and maybe you’ll understand later. Not right now, though. Right now you’re just hurt and a little angry at your best friend for not supporting you the way you want him to.
(Jimin, to his credit, does think he’s supporting you. It may not be in the way you want him to and you may not see it, but it’s the way he needs to support you. There’s a moment where he thinks that he’s the friend you deserve, just not the one you need right now. So he’ll let you be mad at him as long as you need to. Or maybe he’s been watching Dark Knight too much lately.)
This is where you know you’re not always the best at being an adult. Whether Jimin is right or not becomes irrelevant because you’re more concerned with not letting him win. It’s like he tells you something and you have to do the opposite, just because. Which, really, that’s probably something you need to address in therapy. It’s probably not a healthy approach, but it’s where you’re at for now.
Tumblr media
Things feel…a little different. Not good different, either. At first, you were positive that it was just the lingering effects of Jimin being Jimin. Even when he’s not speaking to you, since this is not the first time he’s done this, he’s very loud. But days go by and the pit in your stomach only gets deeper. You can’t separate your own thoughts and anxieties to see if anything with Jungkook is actually different.
When you stop to think about it, though, everything with Jungkook should be different. It’s been around three months now. Three months of you spending a truly absurd amount of time together. Three months of movie nights in, dinners out, random trips to the park. Three months of ending up in each other’s bed every time you went over. Three months of you not seeing anyone else. Was he seeing other people, though? Surely not. Would there really even be time?
But…
That nasty word coming up to haunt you again. But, could you really make any assumptions where another person was involved? After all, your ex had no reason to think anything was wrong with you, no reason to think the relationship was coming to a screeching halt. Yet, it did. It did because you stopped talking to him. Well, you didn’t stop talking to him, you said a lot of words. You just didn’t say any of the ones that actually mattered.
It’s impossible to keep the last conversation with Jimin off your mind. You will never tell him he was right, but you’re also constantly wondering if it’s time for that talk. Lately it’s been taking Jungkook longer to do everything. Longer to text you back, longer in between seeing each other, longer to come out of his phone if he checks it while you’re hanging out (something he never used to do).
And, okay, from the outside, you know how any of those things look. It’s just, you’re still really happy and you’re not really looking to give that up. You think that maybe what’s best, for now, is just to take a slight step back, not be the one to reach out to him and make plans. Either he’ll make plans with you or you will have the final push to have a conversation you should have had weeks ago. (Really, you should’ve had this conversation before you blew up your life, but who’s counting?)
Jungkook: hey, things have been kinda crazy with work, but can i see you tonight?
Which answers that, doesn’t it? You ignore your smarter thoughts, most of which are driven by Jimin’s words playing on repeat, and answer quicker than you should. Even though you offer to stop on your way to pick food up, Jungkook says he’s already picking something up and to just meet him at the apartment.
It’s all different now. Before, when things were only happy, you’d be excited that he knew you well enough to pick up takeaway for the both of you. Now, you wonder if he really has been busy with work. There’s something about the text that implies something’s shifted. You hate it and you want to just go back to before. Maybe tonight will be the perfect chance for that.
It’s not.
The silences are awkward and what’s worse is that you can’t tell if Jungkook feels awkward about it as well, or if it’s just you. Actually, what’s worse is you don’t know which you’d prefer. Then there’s this weird space between you while you’re watching a movie. It’s like you’re not really close enough to cuddle and you’re not really far enough away for it to be a normal, friend-sized space between you. It’s just this awkward limbo and you’re trying really hard not to overthink the space being a metaphor for where the two of you are in this weird relationship.
Jungkook is on his phone a lot throughout the movie too, which only worsens the way you feel. He says he’s still got a lot going on at work, that they’re in very real danger of missing deadlines and he’s so sorry. The rational part of you really wants to let it be that. The louder part of you, the one you know is irrational, can’t leave it alone. At least internally. You know you can’t say anything out loud and have it come across right. Your internal monologue is another story, though.
But, that’s the thing, isn’t it? You made a lot of assumptions about where you were with Jungkook, about what the two of you were doing, about it being a relationship. The reality is you’ve been fucking regularly for months now and haven’t bothered to define things. It was perfect at the beginning, when Jungkook insisted that the two of you knew what was happening and what other people thought didn’t matter. It made you feel like it was you against everyone else. Which should’ve been a clue. A relationship should never put you against the people outside of it. A healthy relationship should be able to integrate into your regular life.
You don’t stay over at his place that night. Jungkook offers and even makes it seem like he wants you to. You might even believe him if he didn’t mention getting up early for work and checking his phone. That annoying voice in the back of your head is shouting danger, danger, danger. The ugly thoughts wonder if he actually wants you to stay at all or if he just doesn’t want to be the bad guy for sending you home.
He gives you a kiss in the doorway and you’re on your way out. The last little bit of positivity in the back of your mind is hoping he’ll change his mind, that he’ll come rushing out and say he’s been stupid. Of course he wants you to stay and of course it’s worth it being tired at work tomorrow because he’s missed you, things have been off, and he wants to make sure he fixes them.
But, he doesn’t do any of those things. The doubts firmly take hold of your brain.
The next day, you’re still thinking over what you want to do when you get an unexpected text from him. He’s got a function after work, the kind of thing where you have to go to a bar and pretend you want to be socializing with coworkers off the clock, but it’s okay because the boss usually buys a few rounds. It’s the kind of thing someone might ask their partner to come to, so they’re not so bored.
Jungkook’s message is clear. He wants to see you. After he’s done with the work function, which he warns might not be until later. So he understands if it’s too late for you to come over since it is still during the week and you have to work tomorrow. He seems genuinely excited when you say you’ll definitely still come over and your heart constricts for a second.
You need to set your phone aside, just for a second, just long enough to let your heart settle back down, because you’ve made up your mind. It’s time (past time, honestly) that you have a real conversation with Jungkook. This last exchange proves it. You’re back to being the girl he calls up after a night out at the bar, the booty call for sex. Admittedly, it is the best sex you’ve ever had, but that’s not the point. For a bit, you were the girl that he made plans with. And, yeah, he’s asking you before he goes to the bar if you’ll be there after. But, the fact is, it’s still same day and it’s not really anything more than a hook-up text.
The text from Jungkook letting you know he’s heading home comes and you take a couple shots to give yourself the confidence to go through with The Talk. You weren’t planning on driving anyway. No matter how this goes, you’re not planning to head home afterwards so having your car seems more inconvenient than anything.
Apparently, Jungkook only beats you there by a few minutes, which might’ve bothered you in any other situation. The way he says it sounds accusatory in your mind. All you can see now is talking before you lose the little bit of liquid courage you have.
“Do you want to watch a movie or do you just want to…” Jungkook asks, trailing off suggestively.
That pit in the bottom of your stomach worsens. The unfinished question hangs between you like a glaring sign saying he just wants to fuck you. It all just feels really cheap and like another waste of your time. Just another in a long line of mistakes. Only one way to find out, though, and so you take a deep breath and dive in.
“Actually, I kind of wanted to talk to you,” you say and that brings him up short.
“About what?” Jungkook asks.
He seems defensive. It’s all wrong. Something in you had been holding out hope that this would go exactly the way you wanted it to. That hope gets harder to hold onto.
“Just…this, us,” you say, hating how you sound so unsure.
“Us?” Jungkook asks and somehow that makes you angrier. Is he being fucking stupid on purpose?
“Yeah, Jungkook, us,” you say with more bite than you intended. “We’ve been doing this dance for, what, like 3 or 4 months? What are we doing, exactly?”
Jungkook’s confused. He gets this look on his face sometimes, like he’s trying to work out a really complex calculus problem and just can’t make things make sense. It makes him look younger, more innocent. It makes you want to protect him. But you can’t afford to think that way, and he doesn’t need to be protected.
“We’re just, I don’t know, we’re hanging out. We’ve been having fun, you know, everything is just easy, which is nice,” Jungkook says.
“Just hanging out and having fun? What, are we back in college?” Your voice raises an octave because, despite all your planning, you really aren’t ready for this.
“I’m not really sure what’s happening here,” Jungkook admits.
“I’m just confused,” you admit in return. “Like we’re always together, we go out on dates. You came with me to a family wedding for fuck’s sake.”
“Yeah, because I like hanging out with you and the wedding seemed important to you,” Jungkook says.
“It was important but still, what is this?”
Jungkook really still looks helpless and you’re constantly reminding yourself not to take care of him. It’s not what either of you needs. “Why does it have to be something defined? Why does there have to be this big deal?”
“Because we’re grown now, because I can’t keep blowing up my life for…” you start, but cut yourself off, quickly closing your mouth again.
“No, blowing your life up for what? For me?” Jungkook asks and you look away, unable to see him looking at you like that. “I never asked you to blow up your life for me.”
“You didn’t exactly turn me away that night either. You knew I was in a relationship,” you say and he scoffs.
“Yeah, I did know. But last time I checked, it’s not my responsibility to make sure you don’t cheat on your partner. I wasn’t the one in a relationship,” Jungkook says.
“No, because you’re never in a relationship, you’re always just having fun,” you say, voice dripping with disdain.
“And what’s so wrong with that? I’ve never been anything but honest about exactly who I am and what I want,” Jungkook says.
“People change all the time! Excuse me for thinking you’d grow the fuck up and realize actually being with someone isn’t that bad,” you say and Jungkook rolls his eyes again.
“What do you think I’ve been doing? I know being with someone isn’t bad. We’ve been having a great time for months until whatever the fuck this is,” Jungkook says.
“And how many other girls have you been having a good time with at the same time?” The question is out before you can even figure out if you want to ask it.
Opposite you, Jungkook rolls his lips together, like he’s trying to give himself a minute before answering. He can have a short temper at times.
“I’m not really sure why the answer to that question matters,” Jungkook says and you shake your head.
“I should’ve known,” you say.
“None though, for the record. Like I told you, I’ve been busy at work. So, I’m either there, working out, playing video games, or with you,” he says and you come up short.
“What?”
“Don’t take that the wrong way,” Jungkook says quickly. “I haven’t fucked anyone else in months, and I haven’t wanted to either. I’ve been having a great time with you. But, that also doesn’t mean this is something more than it is.”
“Meaning?” The balloon of hope pops just as quickly as it formed and you’re feeling even worse than before.
“Meaning,” Jungkook starts. “I don’t want…this. I don’t want to be fighting with you about some bullshit definition of what we are or where we’re headed. I like you, I do. But my answers to those still haven’t changed from the first time we hooked up 7 years ago. I don’t want that super committed relationship with expectations and check-ins and eventually marriage. I don’t want a house and kids and a white picket fence so the dog doesn’t get out.”
“You make it sound like a death sentence,” you say, completely deflated.
“I don’t mean to, it’s just not for me. It’s not what I’ve ever wanted and I’ve never kept that a secret,” Jungkook says. “I mean, I don’t know, maybe it is like a death sentence for me.”
“It feels like a slap in the face,” you admit and Jungkook bristles at that.
“Why? Because I don’t want the same things as you?”
You struggle to find the right words because that’s not what you meant. “Because you must have known it’s what I wanted and yet we still kept going.”
“I guess I figured you heard me when I said, over and over again, that it wasn’t what I wanted,” Jungkook says. “I figured you heard me and you could make your decisions on what you wanted.”
“It just seemed like…” you start and frown. “We’re always together, it felt like more.”
“So you just assumed that it was something more without even asking me about it?” Jungkook asks and gets a glare in response.
“Okay, that’s a little extreme,” you say.
“Is it? I can see it. You’re mad at me, which I get, kind of,” Jungkook admits. “But also, I don’t get it? Because none of this had to happen. If you’d talked to me instead of building it all up in your head…”
“Wow, that was kind of a dick move,” you retort and he shakes his head.
“Or is it a dick move to create a whole relationship in your head and then make me the bad guy for not being on the same page?”
That brings you up short again. Does he have a point? Is that what you’ve been doing all this time?
“I do actually care about you,” Jungkook says. “I know that may be hard to believe, but I do. It’s also really fucked up to create a whole world in your head and then turn me into the bad guy for not being on the same page. I always said we were having fun, that it didn’t matter what friends thought, that we’re just going a day at a time.”
“Because you knew, Jungkook, you had to,” you say. He furrows his eyebrows at you. “You’ve always said things like that and for what? What reason do you have to constantly remind me what this is if you don’t think there’s confusion?”
“Once again, it is not my job to force a conversation you may want to have. Weren’t you just saying we’re not still in college? That goes both ways,” Jungkook says.
Round and round and round in circles you and Jungkook go. You’re mad at him for something that he may not even be able to control, something that you’ve always known about him. And you’re mad that he’s known you probably weren’t on the same page for a while. He’s mad that you’ve had so many of these conversations in your head or with friends without cluing him in. He’s mad that he feels like the bad guy.
The whole fight feels pointless, honestly. You both are mad at the other and maybe you both have a reason to be annoyed. Maybe he has a point and maybe you need to take a step back to examine some of the decisions that you’ve made too. Maybe he’s not the only one bringing this house of cards crashing to the floor.
And maybe that’s not something you want to deal with tonight.
The rational part of your brain knows you should leave and call an Uber straight to Jimin’s apartment. That same part knows that even if he has someone over, he’ll drop everything to make sure you’re okay. He won’t even start the I told you so until tomorrow. Because Jimin can be a giant pain in the ass when he wants to, but he’s got the biggest heart in the world. Going to Jimin’s is absolutely the right decision.
That’s why you call an Uber and head to the bar.
After a few drinks, the empty seat next to you is taken by a stranger with fluffy hair and an easy smile. Despite your protests, he takes over your tab so that you can keep drinking. It’s a bad idea, you know it’s a bad idea, and you don’t really care. You don’t really have any room for good ideas right now.
For his part, he actually seems like a decent guy, if you were sober and present enough to notice. He tells you his name, his job, about his friends. You think he even mentions movies he likes. Nothing about it feels like the normal situation at a bar. Then again, it’s a Wednesday night, not exactly prime time to be out picking someone up.
The next morning, you wake up in a too bright room in an unfamiliar bed and immediately start piecing things together. The conversation with Jungkook and your subsequent decision to get completely shit-faced come rushing back. A sense of shame washes over you. This is the part where some attractive guy, usually one you somehow know, walks into the bedroom, maybe wearing just a towel, and you realize what you did.
Except this isn’t a movie, thankfully, and somehow you’re actually clothed in the bed. You’re in an oversized t-shirt and gym shorts, but you also still have your bra and underwear on. Likely a sign that nothing happened beyond you getting embarrassingly drunk last night. Actually, looking around the room, it looks more like a guest bedroom than the master. Did you actually manage to find a decent guy when you were hellbent on making bad decisions?
You aren’t really in the mood to figure any of it out. Your clothes are folded up beside the bed and, when you get up, you hear the shower running. It’s the perfect time to leave without having to have an awkward conversation. And since you were at your quota for those, you grab your phone from beside the table and slip out, thankfully unseen.
First up, your text thread with Jimin. Which is a mistake, of course you had texted him and of course it was barely coherent. But bless Jimin, honestly, because you see he had taken care of calling you out of work. Actually, bless him for having all your passwords and being able to sign into your email to send the message. You know part of him calling you out is also so that he can carry out his Jimin-approved therapy, but you’ll take it. You’ll even take him telling you he was right.
In a slightly uncharacteristic move, Jimin is waiting outside your door when the Uber drops you off. He’s already been shopping for the essentials and he’s got his arms open for you to collapse into him before even crossing the threshold into the apartment. There’s nothing on his face except for care and concern, which really isn’t surprising. His beating you to your own apartment may be surprising, but him being the best friend you’ve ever had isn’t.
Everything kind of pours out of you at once when you and Jimin sit down on your couch, the tears, the self-loathing, the anger, the confusion, the pain. So much pain. Pain over your ex, pain over Jungkook, pain over past shit that you really thought you were over. It’s like the past months with Jungkook were just a bandaid, putting off the day you would eventually feel everything. There’s no putting it off anymore though. Now you’re in it and you’re so thankful for a friend like Jimin to hold your hand.
He’s surprisingly quiet throughout the whole thing. He listens to your thoughts, comforts you during the gaps in speaking, makes sure you have snacks and something to drink, keeps music playing quietly in the background because he knows you hate the silence. He asks questions that are gentle, nothing too heavy or accusatory. The only time he gets firm is when you cry about not deserving a friend like him.
“Yeah, you can be an asshole sometimes, but don’t ever let me catch you talking that way about yourself,” Jimin says, unmoving. “You’re human and we all make mistakes. We learn and we move forward. I won’t let you be mean to yourself, though. That’s what you don’t deserve.”
Once you feel like you’ve said everything that you could possibly say, Jimin informs you that you’re taking tomorrow off as well and that he’ll be staying over. Just like when you were in college. The order for the night was trashy TV and junk food and no wine for you because you’re still hungover and no talking about feelings at all. You can pick all that up again tomorrow, but tonight is about giving your brain a break.
Tumblr media
It takes much longer than you expect to really come to terms with what happened between you and Jungkook. You haven’t seen him since you walked out the door. In fact, you hadn’t even texted him until reaching out yesterday to see if he was willing to meet up. It wasn’t to work through things, though, as much as it was for you to heal. And hopefully for him to heal as well.
The past few months have been some of the scariest and most rewarding of your life. You’ve never really been alone, separate from a partner. You’ve gone from one relationship to the next for as long as you could remember and ignored anyone suggesting to take time nearly as long. The fight with Jungkook had been a wake-up call, an unwelcome one at the time, but one that you can now see the value in. It forced you to really look at yourself, at your choices, at everything that led you to that moment, to learn what you actually wanted.
And you don’t really know what you want, but you think it’s somewhere between your ex and Jungkook. Yes, you want something stable and comfortable, someone that you know and that you can rely on. At the same time, you want someone that will challenge you, excite you, keep you on your toes. It was unfair of you to put all that onto Jungkook. Whatever mistakes he may have also made, you want to own yours. Part of you knew that he was never going to be what you needed him to be and rushed forward head first anyway.
Everything led you to this point now, where you wait for Jungkook to show up. He had replied quicker than you expected and seemed happy to meet, despite you being clear on needing to talk to him. Maybe there were things he needed to say too.
The tinkling of the bell over the door catches your attention and you watch Jungkook walk through the doors, somehow exactly the same. It’s only been a few months, you remind yourself, not like he could change entirely.
The next part feels awkward, how do you greet him? You stand, considering what to do, when he saves you the trouble and goes in to give you a quick hug. Nothing too serious and also nothing too formal.
“Thanks for meeting me,” you say and he smiles.
“Of course,” he says. “I’ve been thinking about everything that happened too, honestly, so it felt like a good time.”
And just like that, it’s easy to talk. Really talk. Jungkook lets you go first and you lay out everything you’ve learned over the past couple months. He lets you make your apologies and makes his own. You’re able to take ownership of the mistakes you make, because you really understand them after months working through your shit, and feel like he’s forgiven you for how you handled things. You know that you can never fully expect to get closure in life, but this feels close. It feels like you can actually close the door on a chapter to move forward.
Apparently he’s been doing a lot of work on himself too. He admits to knowing that you were in deeper than he was and letting it go on anyway, something he’s not proud of and something he hopes you’ll forgive. He’s not there yet but he’s working on better communication, letting partners know what he can give and what he can’t. He’s trying to figure out what it is he actually wants and what he doesn’t. Even though you don’t need him to say it, he also wants you to know that, as cliche as it sounds, it wasn’t you. Not entirely at least. He got so caught up in how good the physical side of things was that he didn’t consider how you were both hurting each other.
Neither one of you is really sure how to leave things. Part of you, and you can see part of him too, wants to ask if there’s a way to move forward as friends. He’s been part of your life on and off for the past 7 years, since meeting when you were only 18 years old. You take the plunge, though, and say that he’s always going to have a place in your heart. You’re just not sure he can have a place in your life, at least not now. There’s a moment of relief on his face. Like he’s happy you were the one to make the call because he isn’t sure he could. He really does have a lot of work to do, he says.
“Do you know him?” Jungkook asks as the conversation is naturally winding down.
You turn your head to follow his eyes on a man wearing dress pants and a nice shirt. He seems caught up in whatever he’s reading on his laptop, slightly shaggy hair slipping into his eyes. You’re about to say no when he looks up and meets your eyes. There’s something…familiar about him. Like you know him from somewhere that you’ve forgotten. Almost like the memory is hazy and you can’t fully grasp it. He smiles, a really nice smile, and then looks back down at his laptop.
“I don’t think so,” you finally answer.
“He keeps looking over here,” Jungkook comments. You look for any sign of anything negative on his face, but it isn’t there.
“Yeah, I don’t know, if I do know him, I can’t figure out from where,” you admit.
“Maybe you should say hi,” he says and you just smile.
“With you here?” you ask.
Jungkook smiles with a shake of his head. He’s standing up the next second. “I actually have to go to an appointment with my therapist.”
“I’m proud of you,” you say and stand as well to give him another hug. Slightly less awkward this time.
“I’m proud of you too, proud of us, really,” he says.
“Take care, Jungkook,” you say.
“You too,” he answers with a smile.
Just like that, he’s heading out the door. He looks back once to smile at you and you wave. You’re wondering if that’s the last time you’ll see him. Maybe it is and maybe that’s exactly how it should be. Things feel better now, easier. There’s no lingering doubts and even though you know you still have a ways to go, you think that you can really do it this time.
But before you can retreat further into your own head, a voice breaks through your thoughts.
“This seat still taken?”
You look up to find the man that Jungkook asked about moments earlier and that’s when it clicks. Yes, you do know him and you finally remember from where. The world certainly works in mysterious ways.
Tumblr media
i hope you liked it, it was definitely a ride writing it <3
684 notes · View notes
kuni-is-daddy · 11 months
Note
HRRRR HHH SCARA >>
Sorry I’m fan girling rn 🛐🛐🛐
Ok but what’s ur favorite storyline trope to write for him /gen 👁👁🫶
OMG SCARA NATION ❤️❤️❤️❤️ whenever he comes on screen I just ACT UP. It's unhealthy 😭😭❌❌ my favorite trope.. mmm def sub wanderer. Or right after he "erases" himself from sumeru. Something about how he was so confused and didn't even know who tf traveler was until he had that long flashback with nahida makes me act UP. bro was deadass working at a farmers market selling and getting fruit LMFAOO. scara plz bby come here. We will gas you up😭I named mine as Kunikuzushi but this bitch talkin about some "I have no need for that name anymore" EXCUSE MEE??? Cried myself to sleep that night 😔
MINORS DNI--- THIS IS FILTH,❌❌
Tumblr media
Kuni all alone with nobody or no one to depend on. Not even the fatui who shared the same hate for the archons.
Kuni who clings onto you because you make him feel so loved.
Fucking destroy that lil bit of purity he has and make him ADDICTED to you. In every way shape or form
Oh? He wanted to be a god in his previous life as Shouki no kami and scaramouche. You will be his God and he'll worship you.
Kuni who will bend over so quick for your cock/strap to fill him up.
Kuni who lewdly moans for you non stop on that wall you fuck him against. "H-HARDER Y/N OH FUCK PLEASE.. PLEASE.. YES~"
Kuni doesn't give a fuck who hears him. He wants to worship your cock/strap so badly.
Kuni will bounce on your cock whenever you want. The way you make him feel so full and bite on his neck. Slap marks on his ass while you tell him to go faster when he slows down.
Do it too him in his sleep while he's resting from your previous fuck ;) and watch as he cry's and begs for you to slow down. Eventually he'll submit to his previous desires and beg to ride you until he cums all over your chest. Rope after rope of cum.
Kuni likes it rough always if you slow down he's gonna ask for you to go faster so he'll chase his high. Going slow is a complete tease.
Godd he's so short but has such a ATTITUDE. 😩HE NEEDS to be put in his place. SKSKSKKDSJKASJDJ can't take this no more😭🧍
In his quests Kuni says the most sly or outta pocket shit and I just want to humble him so bad. Someone has too. I BEGG.
328 notes · View notes