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noodlesfluff · 4 years

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The Fire Nations Assassin - Zuko x fem!reader (pt.1)

SUMMARY: y/n has been raised as an assassin and has the opportunity to gain her freedom. What could go wrong? Well… turns out the person she was assigned to kill wasn’t the actual threat.

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

WARNINGS: death. Kinda gory not really but like 1 descriptive sentence about death I think? Swearing. Maybe a bit angsty? Not really. Abusive family relationship. Grammar, spelling and punctuation.

A/N: Hiya friends this is my first atla fic! Hope you like it :)) There will most likely be more parts to this idk lolol. Also! Second day in a row posting wow! We love procrastinating uni work. NEW EDIT: hi everyone! future chapters for this series WILL BE POSTED ON @noodlesfluffy !!!! This account will NOT be used for this series’ future chapters :)

also! italics = flashback

part 2

20 minutes until midday.

This is it. You completed your final mission and you would be free at last. Finally. Zemin, your wonderful guardian and boss said that the prize for today's target would give you enough gold pieces that you can finally go home. Well, you didn’t have a home. Not anymore, but anywhere away from the Fire Nation? You will gladly take it with open arms. Honestly at first you were surprised, freedom at the age of 13 seems way to easy. You didn’t know a life other than constantly fighting for the gold pieces that would pay off your debt with Zemin for raising you…but all the other assassins in the nation are still paying off their debts with their trainers. Then again, you’re the most feared assassin in the Fire Nation, and highly sought after. Even if you haven’t been on the scene for as long the others, nor do they realise you’re literally a 13-year-old girl.

You suppose that made it easier when you entered the palace in your finest robes claiming you’re the niece of the Fire Lords general. Little did the guards know, you were about to kill said uncle.

You hit another dead end.

“Fuck.” Why are there so many corridors? You know you can’t leave the way you came in, it’s too suspicious. The guards would know something is wrong. Why would you leave the palace before you got a chance to see the general, your “uncle”, before he wins his Agni Kai?

You’ve never had to enter the palace before today, nor did you ever have to really go near it. Zemin had given you a vague location of the exits, yet somehow failed to mention how stupidly big the palace was. That asshole. Normally the ones who are commissioning you to kill come from within the palace. You never know who they are, but what you do know is that you kill those who come too close to replacing them from their oh so treasured positions next to the Fire Lord. Nobel scum. Ironically, the ones you do kill are no better than them, hiding in the taverns in the middle of the night cheating on their wives. So why the hell did you have to visit the palace now.

10 minutes until midday.

This by far had to be the worst mission you have ever gone on. Turning yet another corner you try to navigate an exit leading to somewhere, anywhere out of this damned palace and as far away from the body. You knew this would’ve been a lot easier if you were given at least a day to snoop the exits but you only feel your fire rage inside you thinking about the argument you had with Zemin last night.

“What do you mean the target is in the palace?!”

Zemin being the kind and loving guardian he is, didn’t even bother to face you. “Look y/n. You have one shot to kill the general tomorrow. No later. If you miss your chance, you’re just going to have to keep doing the regular jobs. Just be grateful you have this opportunity. They specifically wanted you to do it anyway. You’re the cleanest in the game. You’re also the only one who manages to get away every time without using your bending. If I’m honest, that’s just a compliment to me.”

Scoffing you move towards him. “This is suicide! You can’t expect me to enter that palace and kill the general! I’ll get caught without time to prepare, I don’t even know what the inside of the palace is like!!”

He finally looks you in the eye, unphased. “It doesn’t matter what you want or what you know y/n. If you fail this mission, you might as well die with your freedom. There is an Agni Kai tomorrow at the palace, and it seems that whoever commissioned you to kill the general, hopes you can act as a safeguard for whoever is on the other side.”

Your heart skips a beat. “An Agni Kai?! You can’t possibly think I can get away with this! Everyone in the nation knows how binding they are. Even if I do manage to kill the general, they’ll hunt me down! I won’t make it out alive!”

Fire rages behind Zemin’s eyes, “You will make it. I have trained you for the past seven years of your life! You are the only one capable of completing this mission and you should know this! Trainers all around the nation have countless students who have died on missions you can complete in an hour. Do you know why?! Because they spread their knowledge too wide and too thin. If there is one thing my brother and I have in common its that who you pass your knowledge down to must be worthy. You are worthy Y/N. Now, sit. Lets eat, and I will give you the briefing for tomorrow. If there is one thing you must remember, it’s that you must kill the general and get out by midday, or else whoever is on the other side of that Agni Kai will most likely die. You are their only hope. I wasn’t told who it was but they must be inexperienced or stupid.”

As you stare at the painting of the general on the dining room table you know one thing is certain. They are inexperienced and stupid, especially since I’m about to die for this person.

2 minutes until midday.

In a rushed panic you follow a random group of people walking into a public area. Maybe you can blend in the crowd and find an exit before they notice that one of the participants for the Agni Kai is lying on the floor of his office with a nice and wide slit to his throat.

You almost freeze as you walk through the threshold after the group before you. Remembering the area on the awful map Zemin showed you of the palace last night, you knew this is where the Agni Kai was being held. You wanted to puke. It was almost as if the spirits were laughing at you, payback for all the lives you’ve taken. Feeling too exposed, you stand as far to the side as possible, your eyes instinctively scanning the area for any threats, weapons, and most importantly, a fucking exit.

1 minute until midday.

There it is! On the other side of the room you see an exit. This is it. You did it. Making your way as quickly around the duelling area, you almost want to bring a smile to your face. Reaching it in literal record timing, just as you’re about to walk out the door, you notice the crowd goes quiet. That doesn’t seem right. Taking one last glance behind you, you see a Fire Nation flag fall onto the duelling ground.

Midday.

“No….” you think to yourself, “that can’t be!”

You killed the general. You knew you had, you stared at the painting long enough to know you killed the right one. You never make mistakes. Ever. So why was the Agni Kai still happening? As if the spirits wanted to laugh at you in the face, you saw the Fire Lord enter from the other side of the platform. Confused you glance to who he was going to face. Why would you be sent to kill someone who was going to face the Fire Lord? Surely, he could defend himself? Holding back a gasp, it all clicks in your head. You weren’t protecting the Fire Lord from the general, you were protecting a boy about your age on the other side of the platform.

Yet this still doesn’t make sense. Why would the Fire Lord give a boy, who a guard could easily take, the time of day?

To top it all off, the boy seems just a shocked as you. “Please father, I only had the Fire Nations interests at heart. I’m sorry I spoke out of turn!”

Unaffected by his son’s words, the Fire Lord continues to move towards him. “You will fight for your honour.”

As you watch the Fire Nation Prince kneel before his father on the floor, the thought of leaving completely escapes your mind. You knew this was beyond wrong. Even after killing so many, you knew that no innocent child should have to fight for their honour. Especially since you already knew how trivial something like honour was considering how fast you lost yours in order to survive. He shouldn’t have to lose his. Not like this.

“I meant no disrespect. I am your loyal son.”

He continues to walk towards his son. “Rise and fight Prince Zuko!”

The fire inside you rises, almost like it wants to burst out of the traditional top knot on your head. This shouldn’t be happening, you had killed the general to apparently protect the prince, and titles be damned, you couldn’t bring yourself to walk out of that stupid door.

As Zuko places his arms in front of him on the floor, you knew he had no chance. “I won’t fight you!”

Slowly, and almost subconsciously you walk towards the platform as Zemin’s words ring in the back of your mind “…kill the general and get out by midday, or else whoever is on the other side of that Agni Kai will most likely die.”

You almost wanted to let out a painful laugh because it seems you killed the general for no reason at this point.

“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher!” Zuko’s tear sicken face looked up to his father as if it’s his one last attempt, begging for mercy. You know it’s not enough.

“You are their only hope”

With your heart in your throat, almost feeling your body shake with fear, determination, and adrenaline all rolled into one, you leap onto the platform in front of the Prince’s body as the Fire Lord strikes. Feeling the unbearable heat of his fire on the left side of your body from your neck all the way down to your hip, you let out a scream. Soon enough, you hear Zuko’s join yours.

You want to collapse and cry all at the same time. Partially because of the pain, and partially because Zuko’s scream is the only indicator that you’re failing because he’s getting burnt too. Your mind spins as you feel yourself losing all sense of reality. Wishing the spirits would help you save a person’s life rather than taking one.

After what feels like a lifetime, it stops. Your body shaking as if its still on fire, you fall to your knees feeling paralysed. Your ears are ringing, yet you still hear a soft voice from behind you. “W-who are you?”

You sigh in relief. He’s going to be okay. Yet the moment of relief is gone as soon as it came. The Fire Lord’s voice suddenly controls the room once again. “Someone take away the traitor who dares interfere with the Agni Kai!”

Well fuck.

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lunavadash-creates · 3 years

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I missed you too, my sweet cinnamon roll! 💕

It was a really rough week, wasn’t it? I was so exhausted yesterday that I fell asleep quite early and I was sleeping for 14h straight. I don’t remember when I was sleeping this much! My record is 17 hours, but it was after a trip to Korea. We had a really intense time there and I had jet lag. But now? I guess I really need a few days off. But I survived somehow. Maybe I had in mind the fact that you said that you won’t show me your new succulents if I don’t behave. And you know? I didn’t behave well! But I don’t feel bad about it. The guy I hate with passion came to the office. My manager told me that she feel sorry for him, because I have this strange disease that maybe my mouth doesn’t say I don’t like someone, but my face definitely does. And that I didn’t even try to be nice to him. But on the other side, how can you be nice to such an asshole.? I don’t even want to be nice to him.

What’s going on with this girl from uni? I mean, you were close friends with her? Or she is just your collegue from uni and you share the same lectures so you can’t avoid her? I am not sure how your relationship with her works. But if you have the same feeling about her as I have about my coworkers it must be really hard for you. I wish I could help somehow!

How are you feeling about starting another year at uni? Besides that one toxic person? How about lectures?

You know what? You inspired me with a photo of your windowsill! I thought about making something similar on mine. I have four glass cubes with pencils, pens, crayons and brushes in it and I thought about getting lithops succulents. I could put them between my stuff, just like you did with your plants and Buddha sculptures. The only problem is that I haven’t seen such succulents to buy in my area.

Thank you so much for all the recipes! Don’t worry about the fact they are with meat! I don’t eat it often, but I still eat it, so it’s not a problem at all. What kind of cheese do you put in your tortillas? And what about sauce?

Loads of love and hugs Babe! Please take care of yourself! 💕

🔪

HI BUBS! I'm so happy you survived that week. And yes I agree, it was... exhausting. I'm glad it's over. Honestly I'm tired of those toxic people so yeah, if you find him an asshole have no mercy. Just be yourself, do what you need and ignore him. Don't let the manager guilt trip you. "Im sorry for him my ass" About uni... well. I finished it, I'm done with her but she didn't take it well so I guess we will see how it goes. Because all i know is that she didn't tak it right and is all about "i wont be nice or neutral". Idk what she plans or wants to do and I dont care. Im tired, you know? So just... cut out the toxic people out of your life. Life is to short to be stuck with people that drains all your energy. I wasn't happy with her around, I was going back home sad and angry after every meeting. She's just not a type of person i want to have around. As for uni. I have new chinese teacher and so far she's really great! I'm curious to have more lectures with her actually! If you have free windowsill then so it! Make yourself a pretty, happy space that you will like to use or look at. If you can't find lithops you can also try search for "alive stones" its another name for them. And generally succulents are awesome! They look so pretty and don't require a lot of attention. It's a fine choice. About cheese. I use the simple, cheap cheese i have in a store. And sauce - I either buy some jalapeno, 1000 islands, mexican or something or make myself a garlic sauce. I mix greek yoghurt with 1tbsp mustard, mayo and horseradish, add some garlic or a tzatziki spice mix and voila. I hope you can make something nice! How are you? tell me more? and hows Luna?

#ask #knifey my beloved #knifey

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rosenfey · 4 years

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— THE UPSIDES OF 2019 ✨🎉🎇

It’s always the little things. I went a long way to learn to be content with being alive and even though most of it sucks ass and I have moments when I feel like quitting all, the tiny bits between that are good, are really good and worthy of staying alive to experience. I only hope there will be more of them, but for this year, it was mostly this:

I started being more social irl! Not gonna lie and you probs gonna be like “???? wtf Ambie thats a normal thing to do when you are a normal person” but JOKES ON YOU I am anything but normal - this year I: 1.) went to a social event all alone once 2.) went to a social event all alone where I didn’t know anybody and where people were talking to me. YEAH TALKING. TO ME. 3.) talked to strangers without problems 4.) went out with friends. yes this is an accomplishment, shut up

Probs meds working right but now it’s much much easier for me to turn from shy, aloof quiet creature to the funky little dumbass that will talk your ear off because she has no filter. Good for me. Next year will mean even more nonsense coming from my mouth without fear of being perceived as weird and having weird interests. Rip to people who encounter me, but I am different.

SUMMER! It’s the best time of the year and the only time where I feel truly, unconditionally happy to be alive. I love the sun (certified sun thot here, Solaire ask for my number). This time it was funny, because I had my wisdom tooth extracted in July and that was hell but ALSO I could stay at home and play DOS2 all over again (for the 5th / 6th or 10th time, I lost count). I was home alone for the bigger duration of the time and it felt so good to be playing undisturbed. Best times.

I also started going out more often, especially into the forest. I literally live beneath it, it takes me 5 mins to get there, yes I am blessed, yes you can come visit me, I will share the forest experience with you. There is this meadow that is my favourite place in the entire forest and I always went there during summer evenings - it was still warm of course (don’t even let me start on summer evenings, they ARE the most joyous thing in life ever and I will not change my mind) and I often laid down and basked in the sunlight. That’s how I would describe happiness - it was so quiet and tranquil and warm and utterly as if I was in a different world. There was this doe who frequented the meadow and she was never afraid of me, even started walking closer and closer towards me with time. We ate berries together and just chilled. A spiritual experience.

Speaking of spiritual experiences, I finally found something I could believe in. Not any of the religions, it’s coming from my own heart and soul and it feels so right. I don’t need other people to make sense out of it, because it makes sense to me and that’s all I need. I love the sun and owe her my life more times than I can count. My absolute fave place in the entire world is the castle ruin in my city. I cannot really describe how much I love it there, but I love being there a lot. [I took some photos here] I was really really down one time, crying because I didn’t want to go to uni anymore and was afraid I will be suicidal again and long story short I sat there near the river and watched the sunset until it was pitch dark and people started going home and I just sat there and watched and cried and... I understood. It didn’t make the pain hurt less but somehow, I felt that letting all the emotions out that way helped.

I was more active with my photography! It felt so amazing to be able to go out into the nature and appreciate it by taking photos, trying to “freeze” the memory somehow. I love photography so much, it’s one of my most passionate hobbies.

Learned to love myself even more. Came a long way this year, even started to see myself as beautiful (! my biggest accomplishment probably because it took me my entire teenage years after being bullied at high school and then SOME to realise that) and started to EAT NORMALLY god yes. I still beat myself over that sometimes but I DO EAT quite healthily and my weight is not super alarmingly lower than what it should be. Still gotta go and stop blaming myself for having some extra treats but its GOOD so far!

Learned to let go. All three of my irl best friends left me this year and honestly, I didn’t think I would survive it. But I did. And I met a few nice people here too. I don’t believe that I am truly alone and I know that I will meet the right people who will appreciate me. Being single for 3+ years is very hard and I do cry a lot but... I know that I will not stay alone forever. And what is more important, I finally believe that I DO DESERVE to be loved right. Before, I thought all the people I had crushes on were way out of my league, but tbh? Maybe I was out of theirs.

CREATIVITY? IN THIS BODY? ITS MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK! Gosh I made so many beautiful edits this year, I am so proud! Especially of the World Building June event I was able to do and didn’t miss a single day! Creating something every day for 30 days is quite and accomplishment and I’m proud of myself. It feels awesome to be able to talk about my characters and even though I mostly feel ignored here it feels so amazing in the times when I am not.

WRITING! The thing I am the most proud of! I learned to be more open with my writing, publishing it online more often than years before and I am so happy that I came up with Dead Man’s Wish. I wasn’t this excited for a writing project in years. The support my friends put into my work is beyond amazing and I love you so much.

Meeting @fantasmagoriam irl for the first time was one of my fave things this year. I am so happy to call you my friend and it feels amazing to be truly myself with someone irl, talking about ocs and goofing around! Our talks enlighten my days in the best way and I love you so much.

Getting to know @blueraptorsmain was such a blessing! You are such a sweet and kind and talented person, I am so happy to have met you!

BIG shout out to @jennystahl who is such a delightful person and one of my biggest writing supporters. Thank you so much for having patience with me.

And a lot of others who made my experience here great! @ciriofcintras, @friendowldesign, @toreadours, @lavellane, @cryptcombat, @callmeredhood, @zephyrcrowthorne, @fillianore and all my treasured mutuals I love so much (you know who you are! ♥)

In the next year I wanna:

Get my first tattoo. And don’t faint or die from the pain which is very likely but rip to me I really want that tattoo.

LEARN FRENCH

Finally visit Provence and have a great time. Still in the middle of planning the trip and figuring out organization details but I got green lights and we are GOING. Don’t ever expect me to come back because once I am laying bare chested amidst a lavender field sipping rosé wine and eating grapes it’s over for y’all.

SURVIVE uni. Lol ok not gonna be grim but there is nothing in life I hate more than uni. Peace out. Disgusting, makes me wanna puke. Not cool. I wanna get that degree tho.

Learn to love myself even more. It’s what we all should aspire to, imho. And there is always ways to go.

WRITE. duh. *looks at camera like she’s on the office* Because my ideas are amazing and the world deserves to read about them.

Next year I wanna be more open with posting my stuff here - screaming into the void about my ocs, making edits, posting writing... I wanna be absolutely okay with it all and not feel the fear of being perceived as annoying or that people will not care. They might not care but that is not my problem. Next year is no filter only, baby!

Happy New Year to everybody and hope 2020 will be kind to us. I really hope it will because I want it to be a year when I finally spread my wings and flourish. It’s what we all deserve.

#ambie.txt #if anyone is gonna read this... you have my admiration its so LONG OMG #i didnt want to tag all my mutuals because i dont wanna be annoying gghgnh #but i really love you! i do

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stu-dna · 5 years

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how I survived my first semester at uni

somehow I made it through. here’s what helped:

(this is going to differ for everyone based on how you study best & what subjects you're studying! I am a science major so business/law majors probably won't benefit much from this, sorry <3 )

I. NOTES

figure out what type of note taking works best for you

—I started out by handwriting my notes. It was fine until my handwriting disintegrated and even I couldn't read what was happening. Also, carrying around a whole bunch of notebooks and folders got way too heavy for my back.

—I then switched to taking notes digitally. It took some getting used to, but now I absolutely love it. I use Notability for pretty much everything.

organisation is your best friend

—I colour-code by subject, e.g. all biology notes are blue and all chemistry notes are green and I swear to god if one more person tells me that biology should be green imma fight a bitch. That also means that my highlighters in each digital notebook are the corresponding colours, so I’m able to see what subject each page is without having to read too much into it.

—I also separate my notes based on type, for example in-class notes, "pretty" notes, and practice sheets are separate categories. Within these categories the aforementioned colour-coding comes into play.

II. STUDYING

I fell in LOVE with flashcards

—I literally have a 20cm high stack of flashcards from my last exam (which I aced btw :) ). It's like that for nearly every exam.

—Speaking of which... some subjects don't work well with flashcards (for me at least) e.g physics and maths. This is something that you can usually figure out early on in the semester.

—Again, organisation will save your life. I use these boxes to separate my cards by subject, then within the box I use coloured cards (of course corresponding to the subject) to separate card types/sub-subjects.

practice exams are there (legally or not...) for a reason

—Practice exams are how I did well in physics (my least favourite subject). I separated all the questions by concept and then learned what I needed to by solving about 10 problems per concept. Same with my maths exam.

—If you have access to more than a couple of past exams you can familiarise yourself with the problems that tend to come up more frequently and how the professor tends to ask certain about certain concepts.

learn where you study best/most efficiently

—I absolutely cannot study at home. Too many distractions plus my bed is so comfortable...

—I found that the library worked perfectly. If I was out of my house then I might as well stay out and study. Also, the general academic atmosphere really helped me with motivation.

—To music or not to music, that is the question. Again, it depends on how and what you are studying. Physics and maths, for example, were just practice problems, so I would listen to music. I would also listen when writing flashcards. When learning flashcards, I'd either listen to rain sounds or absolutely nothing besides the scribbling of pens and the occasional sniffle. It all depends on how you focus best.

Ill. HEALTH

physical health

—Get your blood flowing. When I was in the library studying I would stand up every 45 minutes and go do squats and stretches in the bathroom. This can also help you focus (!).

—Every couple of hours, stand up and walk around for about 5 to 10 minutes. It gives you a little break and gets your blood circulating.

—I started cycling to uni. It is 5km (about half an hour) each way and I don't think I've been fitter in my life. It has done wonders for my mental health too.

—Drink water!! In the library I would only let myself stand up to stretch / pee after I finished an entire water bottle. This was every 45 minutes. I peed a lot.

—If the sun shines, go stand outside for a couple of minutes. This was a rare treat for me because where I live in Germany the winters are grey, grey, and darker grey. You need vitamin C and serotonin. Get some.

mental health

—Sleep. You need it. Trust me. Staying up really late to study for a bit longer before an exam isn't worth it. It'll lead to stupid mistakes that will bring your grade down and leave you feeling even more crappy.

—Take study breaks. If you are feeling mentally tired due to stress/over-studying, go home. Go to sleep. Let yourself sleep. It's worth it. Trying to cram more material in when you just can't do any more will not help you.

—Don't be afraid to not take an exam. At one point, I had 5 exams within 8 days of each other. I decided to not take the 4th one and to instead give myself a break and prepare for the 5th exam. It was the best decision I've made so far in uni. If you are worried about how not taking an exam will affect you in terms of your uni career, talk to an advisor or older student.

—Remember that you are not alone. Make one friend, even just an acquaintance. Reach out to old friends from school. Reach out to someone online, even anonymously. (I’m almost always online if you wanna chat <3 )

nutrition

—I'm really hypocritical for saying this, but eat breakfast. It makes a massive difference in your energy levels throughout the day.

—Eat a goddamn vegetable.

—Coffee can be your best friend but also your worst enemy. Use it responsibly.

—Alcohol is your own choice. Don't let anyone pressure you into drinking. You can have fun with or without it. And if someone tries to get you to drink even after you’ve said no, get the hell out of there.

IV. MISCELLANEOUS

—Sometimes skipping classes is worth it, but it's up to you to make the right choices as to which. I went to a grand total of 3 physics lectures and got a 1,3 on the exam (;

—You don't need to buy textbooks. Ask your classmates & have a look online (;

—BRING A PHONE CHARGER WITH YOU EVERYWHERE. I have a backpack changer and a home changer, and they live in those places.

—Carry painkillers, antacids, etc. around with you. Either you or someone you know will need some.

—Shower, especially if you are staying long days in the library. It will make you feel more alive.

—Find a cafe that you can retreat to when the library makes you want to rip your own eyes out.

—Treat yourself every now and again. Be it ice cream or a nice notebook or a frozen pizza or a fucking avocado, it’ll be worth it.

sometime in the future I’ll make a couple of posts where I’ll go into detail about some of the things I mentioned above (eg how I use Notability, my flashcard system, organisation, etc.)

unless this was absolute shite; if so lmk and I’ll go hide in a hole <3

#studyblr #stu-dna-ing #harrietsaysathing #uni #studyblr tips #university tips #uni tips #sciblr #German studyblr #note taking tips #ersti tipps

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physiiological · 7 years

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hii! have you got any advice for myself? I'm a year 12 student here in nz and it seems like such a big jump from last year, I'm worried I'm gunna flake and it's all going to go to crap haha. Thankyou !

hi lovely!!! thanks for sending me this message :-) (and yay for us kiwis!)

agh, i remember being in your exact same position last year! however, I did not reach out and I coped with it all on my own, which is definitely something you should not do at all :/. I’m gonna be writing a lot just bc year 12 can be a shitty year but it doesn’t have to be!!! so click below to see what I’ve said, because just like year 12, this is gonna be one hell of a ride.

Realistically speaking, year 12 is going to be the hardest year in your academic life. It’s the year to do well so you can have stellar records for scholarship applications, it’s the year they look at if you don’t continue through to year 13, it’s the year, and it can get extremely overwhelming. I remember that I stressed myself out to the max.. I wasn’t sleeping well, I was constantly breaking down, and in the end I only just met the criteria for an endorsement. Although I still have my endorsement, there are many things that I would’ve liked to change if I had the chance to repeat year 12 again.

one of my most important tips is to don’t try to conquer this alone. NCEA Level 2/IB/Cambridge can be a daunting experience, especially if year 11 was a big walk in the park. The minute you need help, don’t wait around to see if everything works out... reach out to your friends, if not, your teachers. these are your resources and they are at your disposal, use them (not in that sense). If you are feeling extremely unhappy about all of this, talk to someone you trust (eg. a tutor, a parent, your dean, a counsellor) and believe me, not only will you feel a lot better after doing so, but you will also have a much more clearer state of mind and a clear mind = better perspective of everything. Having your friends and a great support network makes all that difference.

my next tip is to definitely stay organised. Depending on how your school works, there will be instances where internals will hit you all at once. You’ll feel overwhelmed, and when things aren’t going the way it should be we tend to feel lost and breakdown. To prevent this, I suggest using a planner/journal/a notebook to just write down things you need to do for the day and try to make them small tasks. eat the elephant one bite at a time! try and deconstruct your huuuuge task on writing an english essay, and refine it down to just writing one paragraph for the day. even the smallest victory is still a victory, and victory deserves applause, regardless of how big or small. In addition to that, getting sorted now will set you up soooo much for year 13, and also uni as well. so, find what works for you and get into the habits of setting goals! it won’t seem like much when you tick off small tasks, but hey, every victory is a victory!! celebrate :DD It’s okay to not be ahead, staying on top of things at this point is more than enough, and you should be super proud of that.

third and most important tip; do no harm, take no shit. You’re going to have those odd couple of people who will academically compete with you to the death for a better mark, a better grade, a better anything, and these people are unavoidable, sadly. But you can control it by not taking any of their crap. You do you, and I think that is a lesson that I learnt too late. Don’t worry about that person who just completed that practice report in a day, or about that person who ‘stayed up till 3am’ doing work because chances are; they’re not doing very much to keep themselves alive at this rate and you are soooooooo......... winning!!! (oops)

I could write a novel and go on forever about my top tips for year 12 but one of my last tips that I leave with you today (and probably pretty important to all of these) is to take care of yourself. this includes your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. I can not stress enough how bad my breakdowns got last year because I never allowed myself to take a break, I kept going and going and going and that entire year was just a lesson to me that I am not a robot, that I am only human. Getting Excellence , A’s ,stellar records for scholarships are important but who’s going to receive them if you’re gonna exhaust yourself out like that? Not you... and we don’t want that, do we? As repeated in the first tip, having a great support network and some friends you can lean on can significantly change this!! vent if you need to, rest if you need to, and be what you need to. This is so so so important, and I personally believe that this trumps everything. Take a walk, have a breather, get some sleep! Take care of yourself, because your grades certainly won’t be doing that for you.

It is undeniable that year 12 will be one of the most daunting years of your life and it’s not going to be pretty. There will be tears, there will be breakdowns but if you’re not anything like me then you will cope. It’s ok to feel scared, and that is completely understandable. But above all of this, don’t forget to have fun!! Celebrate the fact that you’ve come so far already. Celebrate that you’ve survived so much, celebrate the fact that you’re an absolute champion and celebrate the fact that you’re about to kick NCEA/IB/Cambridge’s ass. I have faith in you, and you should have faith in yourself, you’re going to own this year! :D

Of course these tips are coming from someone who has had different experiences to other year 13′s but I hope you found that helpful! Please do not hesitate to message me if you have anymore questions or want anymore tips lovely! All the best for year 12, you’re gonna kick ass! Have a lovely evening xx

#vonnytalks #Anonymous

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maddiecruzdotcom · 7 years

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Growing Pains

When I was younger, I thought being an adult was one and the same with knowing exactly what to do on the daily. Almost two years into independence - I realize that this it isn’t exactly the case. Adults don’t always know what to do next. Literally no one has it all figured out. And I guess, that’s the beauty of it all. Someway, somehow, for as long as you keep moving forward, the universe has a way of making it all fall into place.

You’re a baby. You undergo basic education. You go to college. You graduate. You find a job and so on. We’re made to believe that this is how we’re meant to live our lives. There are varying intricacies from person to person as to what happens in between, of course but that’s about it. Personally, my growth as a person doesn’t follow this order - it’s a mix of delays and advancements. In some aspects, I’m a late bloomer but I do believe that to an extent, I am about ten steps ahead too in terms of a few other things.

I went to college at 16. I started doing internships when I was 17. During that same year, I started handling a “business” (lol, okay, fine it was networking) that involved huge amounts of money. At 18, I dropped out of uni to try and fix some personal problems. At 19, I moved out. Pretty crazy things happened in-between : I was deep down in debt, I got in pretty big trouble, some of my most treasured relationships went down the drain, my anxiety was at its worst.

At 20 and nearly four years into the work force doing all sorts of jobs and stints here and there and almost two years of living by myself - literally nothing has prepared me for the real world.

The real world, you see, isn’t what you see on TV or on the big screen. Neither is it the pictures you see on instagram or on facebook. The real world is a place where almost everything, even your goals equate to a tag price; where you have bills to pay, obligations to fulfill. Where you actually have to get your ass up and head to work in order have food in your mouth, a roof over your head, so you could buy that bag or book that flight. A place where there is always an opportunity cost ; where most, if not all things, entail sacrifice.The real world is where only the fittest survive.

“You weren’t born just to pay bills” they would say. They’re right. This is where relationships come in. You build relationships and I think, more than financial problems or failure in terms of work, this aspect could fuck you up real bad. By nature, humans are social beings and though we hate to admit it - we want to be loved, cared for, listened to and be understood. We want to belong.

Part of growing up is realizing how important it is to keep things balanced. Sure, this specific job or goals matter to you - but don’t let it eat you up entirely. Don’t let it take over your entire life. There are other things that matter just the same, if not more. Take the time to step back and find them. I totally get it : You love ~this specific~ group of friends. Okay. That’s cool. Good for you. But as in anything, don’t give it your 110%. Because sometimes, the people we love the most will drift apart from us, no matter how hard we try. And it will hurt.

Even worse, some relationships are no different from the Employment Contract or Memorandum of Agreement we sign for work - time bound and conditional ; some relationships are just good for specific seasons, once the circumstances change, it’ll be gone with the wind. Be careful how much you put in because that’s time and effort you’re never gonna get back.. I think I’ve said this already in a previous post : Invest enough in relationships so as to give them a chance to grow, leave enough for yourself so it won’t be as hard to start over.

But hey, I still believe we will all find people who are for keeps. People who will change our lives forever. If it makes it any better : studies show that at most, you can only manage to have 50 stable relationships at once. Trying to go beyond that will jeopardize more important relationships that we should keep. I think that kind of makes it okay to lose some people as we go along.......:-)

Wow. Hugot. Yup, I’m obviously going through something. It’s not the end of the world. Life goes on. Not all bad things exist to harm us - most of them are opportunities in disguise to help us grow. It definitely hurts like a bitch but hurting is part of growing up. The only way we could truly be better is by subjecting ourselves to struggle that our tolerance for pain increases and we are able to handle better adversities that come our way.

The real world (well, life, in general) is complex. It’s tricky. There is no single formula that ensures success. Unlike Sims, there is no cheat code. No one makes it out alive and I think that’s enough reason for us to at least aim to go as far as we possibly could. There is an end to everything, an end through which we will all transcend into nothingness - thus, invalidating the idea that we have things to lose.

Keep running. Crawl if you have to. The goal is just to keep moving forward. Hopefully, to better things.

We are not perfect. We are not always right about who we think we are and the things that we choose but we can always be far better than we could imagine.

#personal

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