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I’ve been so so busy this past two weeks, I secured a part time job after not working for months which is amazing news! Its nothing glamorous but it’s an income for now. I have my university interview tomorrow and I’m excited about everything except my literacy and numeracy test. Purely because I left school at age 17 and I’m not sure if I’m prepared for it and whether its to see how much assistance we need or if it will affect my acceptance. I’m just going to go in there with a positive attitude and try my best. I’ve also started a FutureLearn course on education inclusion for children with disabilities which has been really interesting and is training my mind to get used to learning again. I’ve progressed so much since i met my partner and I really feel like I’m finally getting close to reaching my potential. I’m so grateful for her.

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WIP for my requirements for my Arts 1 course. The prompt was to make 2 artworks reflecting (a) love and hate or (b) fear and courage, using 2D media. I chose love and hate. Don’t know how this is going to turn out but I’m proud of my work.

Took up Arts 1 as my GE elective this semester and even though analyzing and creating artwork is stressful sometimes, I’m really glad I took this course. I really love art since I was a kid (though I wouldn’t refer myself to be good at it). I used to write draw back in senior high, then I stopped. I’m really happy that I get to revive my love for the arts. I hope that I can still find the time to do this even after I finish my course.

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• 29|09|20 •

As always I’ve done some Python and Physics 2 reading and, again, Analytical Mechanics; that’s because I’m feeling I’m not understanding and internalize all the concepts. I read everything but after 10 minutes I don’t remember a thing or I’m not able to explain anything.

Probably because some things are not understandable in the way I want, because they’re just “mathematical tools” or because they are application of something else.

Plus I’ve questioned myself: what exactly means to understand something? Do you need to be able to “give a lecture” about that argument? No, because that requires studying not just understanding(?) Do just need to think “okay I know what’s the general topic”? No, because probably you are not understanding in a proper way(?)

In conclusion, I don’t know; do you know the answer?

Maybe the reason that has lead me to this thought is that I think I’m not doing enough and I also think I’m not understating, while the truth is that none of these problems are actual problems(?)

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September 28th 2020

My anxiety is really flaring this week. I got a headspace subscription because I was like I can’t live like this.

I am leading an initiative in my club to deliver groceries to lower income Philadelphia residents impacted by COVID. We delivered our first batch on Sunday! Hopefully we work out the kinks and the next deliveries are more efficient

My book suggestion was chosen for book club! We’re gonna read “I’m thinking of ending things” by Iain Reid. I’m very excited!! We are going to watch the movie too and compare.

I might make a post with some free MCAT resources. I have the epub versions of the Kaplan books if anyone wants them.

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Day 63 || 60-day personal summer studying challenge


Yes, I’m finally done, guys! I know I didn’t really post for the last two weeks or so, but things got hectic. Building Details 1 went great as well as Building Materials. Things got a bit rough on Building Details 2 which got a half completed assignment and test. Istg it kind of ate me alive. The test needed a half hour more than its predetermined duration (they gave the extra half hour to Building Dets 1 test smh) and then archi planning 3 and 4. For 4 the demands were reasonable and we put all of our creativity and skills to produce something like what you may see on Instagram for Studio etc. When it comes to 3 though… I really did not appreciate the hypocrisy of “do what you are” and “what you brought me here isn’t you”. Anyway, we kinda yolo’d it went with what we know we are and want. Whether our professor appreciates it or not is not in our jurisdiction anymore. We tried to put onto paper what we were visualizing and he couldn’t see. Hopefully, he’ll understand. Once everything was over, an huge headache landed on me rendering me incapable of existing for the rest of the day. Finally, I took the weekend off to do some well deserved and overdue selfcare. Another week till classes start and I’m planning on spending it doing things that soothe my soul. (We might follow a hybrid system of physical and online classes for as long as th spread of the virus doesn’t affect us which doesn’t look that long really.) I wish you all a good start of the year!

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28/09/20 - block 1, week 5

Will matrix math ever make sense to me 😅

As this block continues I’m starting to feel better about my choice to combine two masters this year. Yes it is stressful but it is also very satisfying to feel that I’m learning so many new skills.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t question my sanity at least once a week when I’m struggling to get all my readings and assignments done on time 😂

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hour 10.5 of 40 // day 9 of 30

recording my music for jazz combo was a struggle once again. it is so hard to be a music major and not be able to play with other people. the connection and energy that comes from playing with others is essential, especially as a band instrument, and when that’s missing…it’s hard. i’m really struggling to find motivation, but hopefully meeting with my accompanist tomorrow will help a bit.

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just want to say that although this is a community about studying, you do NOT need to be studying all the time or using all the time outside your other commitments productively! not at all! we’re here to support your ~studying endeavours~ when you choose to undertake them, no matter how many hours you spend studying in a day, in a week, in a month. and one more thing, the only type of success is! not! just! academic! success! celebrate other achievements, even if they occurred instead of or at the expense of academic success!!

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2020 has prepared me well for the publishing process and job searching. I have gotten soooo many rejections back in the past two weeks. In 2019 I would have been devastated getting just one rejection, but now I find myself saying “cool” and moving on to the next project. I just don’t have the energy to feel anything after everything that has happened this year. 

While the emotional burnout is concerning, it is also helpful when facing inevitable rejection over and over again. I hope I can keep the momentum up until my articles are published / I find a job. 

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