! Brief mentions of past ED, body image issues, depression!
You were always really skinny. Years of self hatred and depression so bad you couldn't even make yourself a meal left you dangerously underweight.
After finally getting on hormones though, that has changed. You were no longer paralyzed by your mental state, you got a will to live back, and you even started liking your body more. Time once spent rotting in bed was now replaced by hanging out with friends.
Of course, when you're having a good time with friends, it's only natural to order a pizza or two and maybe some fries. A popcorn or chips on movie nights, ice cream and sweet drinks on hot summer days, hot chocolate, gingerbread and other Christmas treats during the holidays....
Slowly your body started to transform. First you just played it off as hormones doing their own thing, you've been told that fat will redistribute mainly to your belly, it's no wonder why it's not as flat as it used to be. After all, you're still stick thin, right?
Weeks turn into months and slowly you change more and more. Your voice deepens, beard starts to grow, your body hair thickens... But that body hair isn't the only thing that's getting thicker.
You don't notice it, of course, you're far too deep in denial for that, but your once bony legs slowly start to resemble more of a tree trunk than anything. Your once pronounced ribcage gradually gets covered with a small layer of softness. Your tummy starts pushing over the hem of your underwear a little bit.
One day though, you find an old pair of pants that you used to wear all the time while in the closet. A simple pair of ripped black jeans from the men's section that you convinced your parents to buy. They were slightly oversized and still had chains hooked to them from your emo phase.
It's been so long since you wore them, and you always loved them, so why not wear them again, for old times sake?
You start putting them on, but something is not right.
They're not oversized anymore.
In fact, you're having trouble even getting them over your ass.
You struggle to button them, the softness of your belly getting in the way. You suck in as much as you can and they finally button. You breathe out, relieved that it's finally over, and look in the mirror.
To your surprise, you see a completely different person than you expected. Your mind works overtime as it tries to explain how can this be you, after all, you know what you always looked like in those jeans. It's the first time you REALLY take a good look at yourself in over a year and that's when it finally hits you.
The hem of the pants that were once loose on you is now covered by your muffin top. Your thighs no longer have a gap between them, in fact, they're rubbing together, and spill out of the ripped parts like a dough. You turn around and see your ass. It's so much bigger than you expected, barely contained by the fabric. You lift up your arms and can't believe your eyes when you see them jiggle a bit. And the final cherry on top - you look at your face and for the first time see the small developing double chin underneath your beard.
Taking it all in, your hands start to wonder. You squeeze and grab all the pudgy parts of your body that you were previously unaware of. Your wide hips, thick thighs, soft chest, jiggling arms, and most importantly, your belly.
It's all too much. Your head starts to spin and you feel light headed. You sit down on your bed to prevent falling, but when you do, you feel the pants dig even more into your tummy. You fall forward in slight pain, but when you do, the pain and tightness suddenly disappears. Looking at the ground, you quickly figure out why. A button falls at your feet and you feel your belly ever so slightly resting in your lap
Maybe it's time to update your wardrobe, don't you think?
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🌼 donghee's personal ig account is public and he follows local small businesses and his university friends . he tends to post more ig stories focusing on his daily life, cafe visits, and traveling . hotae's account is ancient and rarely used when he does post it's usually about donghee, music, or "studying" for the 검정고시 . hotae likes to use the coffee tasting events donghee gets invited to as unofficial dates and enjoys letting donghee dress him up, even if cost comes out of his paycheck . they have a "collaborative" playlist for the cafe . 🌼
credits: @jkjmsgf ig template, @kittyshcherbatsky ig template, @springdoy playlist template
(originally intended to be posted with sway me like the sea, my hotae/donghee fic buuuuut lol better late than never? the playlist is temporary btw! it'll be deleted eventually.)
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