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glassesandswords · 3 years

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Summary:

It was a normal, peaceful day in school until Eren tried to impress him, and now Levi found himself hiding in a cramped dark closet with a girl he barely knew to escape the wrath of a thousand bees ready to unleash their vengeance on them.

Dammit Eren.

Read the fic below:

It all started when that bitchbrat Eren slammed open the window that was not supposed to be opened.

Just a few minutes ago, Levi was having a nice, normal day at school. He had skipped PE to finish up his homework in his classroom, relishing the silence that came with being alone after spending most of his morning with his draining classmates. The only sounds that filled the empty, echoing classroom was the creak of the dusty old ceiling fan and scratch of his pen on his notebook. Soft sunlight shone in through the two of the five windows that were open and even if Levi was sitting near one of the closed windows, he did not feel like shifting to a seat with better lighting.

But his moment of silence was broken when Eren entered the classroom.

“Ah, Levi! Why are you all alone here?”

Levi suppressed a frustrated sigh. Eren was his junior, three grades younger than him. Levi never attempted to interact with his peers in other divisions, much less in other grades, but unfortunately for him, he and Eren shared the same bus-stop. And for some reason, Eren’s eyes would always sparkle like stars when he saw Levi.

It was annoying.

“Why are you here?” Levi frowned as Eren walked in, looking around curiously at his senior’s classroom.

“Ah, I had taken a washroom break.”

“Then go.”

“I did. I just wanted to kill some time before going back to my classroom. Geography is a boring subject.”

Levi was not surprised. No person, sane or insane, liked geography anyway.

Eren noticed the shoes littering the classroom. “Oh, did your classmates go for PE?”

“Yes.”

“Then why did you not go? I thought you liked PE. You are the fastest sprinter after all.”

“Just because I’m good at something doesn’t mean I have to like it,” He waved his notebook at him. “I’m finishing up my homework.”

“Oh, do you need any help?”

“Sure, solve this for me,” He pushed a complex quadratic equation at Eren. Eren stared at it, eyes blissfully blank and then chuckled in a sheepish way, scratching at his ear.

“I can’t do sums three grades higher than me.”

“Then shut up and go back to your class.”

Much to his ire, Eren shook his head, “Well that doesn’t mean I can’t do other things to help you, you know? I can speed up the fan if you want!”

“No need.”

“Oh, why are you sitting in the dark? That’s right, let me open the window for you at least.”

It took Levi a second before the gravity of his words hit him through the continuous stream of ‘oh god he is annoying’ that looped in his brain. “Wait, no,” he exclaimed, his eyes widening as he whipped his head towards Eren, “Don’t touch that win-”

Too late.

Eren, with his chest puffed up in triumph, pushed open the window with all his strength and in that moment, Levi could see his entire life flashing before his eyes.

Levi was the first one to notice it a few months ago as he stared out of the window during tedious lectures- the little goop on the slab shading the window from outside, and how there seemed to be an influx of bees buzzing around. After a while, it was obvious: a group of honeybees had started to build a hive right outside the window. When he had informed it to his teacher, she asked the students to close the window and not open it till the hive was removed.

But days passed by and no one removed the hive. One day, as Levi was walking past the watchman Hannes, he heard him talking about it with the other staff members.

“The beehive outside the third floor classroom has grown pretty big, y'know. I did ask Principal Zachary about its removal, but he said that it was a pain in the ass to call in men and remove the hive when it was that small, so he’s planning to wait till it grows so that he can harvest the honey while removing it as well.”

“But what if it hurts the children?” one of the other staff asked, leaning on his broom.

“Tis what I asked. But the principal seemed firm in his decision. He told the students and the teachers to not open the window and the two windows next to it. After all, bees don’t bother you if you don’t bother them.”

“I get that, y’know? If the beehive grows to the maximum size, we could probably harvest more than twenty kilograms of honey from it. Honey fetches a good price after all...”

So the beehive remained carefully untouched till then.

And when Eren, in his oblivious glory, slammed open the window, all hell broke loose.

Levi barely had the time to grab a screaming Eren by the back of his collar and run for their lives. The heavy wooden door hit the fat hive and the angry bees swarmed in, poised with their stings to defend their home. Once they were out of the classroom, Levi flung the boy ahead of him. “Run,” he commanded.

“But-”

“RUN!”

And Eren ran. Levi held back, slamming the door and windows on the other side of the classroom shut so that the bees would be contained within the classroom instead of finding their way into the corridor to the rest of the school.

But the bees had other ideas, and other routes. And within seconds, there was an uproar throughout the building.

“Tch,” Levi cursed internally as he ran towards the school office. He had to alert the authorities, to ask them to announce through the speakers to shut all the windows. However, the bees had already entered the school through the other passages and they were now flooding the corridors in a buzzing cloud of fury as students and teachers started rushing outside the classrooms alike, screams filling the air.

“Everyone, lock the doors and windows of your classrooms,” boomed all the speakers in the school at once, “A swarm of bees are spreading out. Take shelter immediately.”

Finally Eren did something useful for once, Levi thought as he turned a corner, looking desperately for somewhere to hide. But the doors and windows of the other classrooms were already locked shut, and Levi knew if he were to bang on the door and wait for them to let him in, he’d risk not just being bitten, but also letting the bees enter into the classrooms.

An overly aggressive bee zoomed straight at him, and in reflex, Levi tried to swat it away. Which was a very bad idea, as he immediately felt a sharp sting on the back of his palm. He hissed, gritting his teeth in pain.

One of the buzzing bastards had got him at last.

With watery vision and panic rising steadily within him, he almost felt his heart jump out of his throat when a random hand grabbed his arm, breaking his run, to yank him inside a storage closet and close the door shut.

Levi crashed into something soft, which in turn crashed into something hard. He felt small objects raining on him- both metal and plastic- as if he had knocked over a shelf lined with things. He was in one of the storage closets after all.

A soft groan from below made Levi push himself up, only for him to freeze as he came face to face with a girl sprawled underneath him. With the help of the small glass peep-window on the door that let in a sliver of light inside the dark room, he saw the startled look in her big brown eyes behind an askew pair of glasses.

A girl. He had a girl pinned underneath him.

She rubbed the back of her head, ruffling her messy brown hair in the process as she cocked her head to the side, like a bird.

“You’re welcome, but you are kinda heavy, you know?”

Levi felt heat rush to his ears as he scrambled away, his back digging into yet another shelf as he tried to put some distance between them. It did not work very well, however, the storage closet was too small and cramped that it was only comfortable for one person standing in it at a time.

“What’s happening out there?” the girl asked, straightening her glasses as she stood up, “Are they removing the hive?”

“No,” Levi said as he glanced at the stinger buried in the back of his hand, “A stupid kid disturbed it.”

“You got stung?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, show it to me in the light.”

Levi was curious himself, so he obeyed, positioning his hand in the sliver of light that streamed in through the tiny glass window at the top of the door.

His skin had reddened and started to swell where the stinger had embedded itself. It was agonizing and Levi clenched his jaw as the girl hovered close to it. “Wow, that must hurt. Any other place you got stung?”

“No.”

“Okay, let me remove this for you.”

“Huh?” Levi automatically pulled his hand back from her vicinity, “No.”

The girl’s eyebrows rose. “You don’t trust me with that?”

“I don’t even know you.”

“Right,” the girl pointed to herself with a thumb, “I’m Hange, and I think I’ve seen you around before.”

“Where?”

“We are in the same grade, you know. Just different divisions.”

Levi squinted. True, he did not pay much attention to his classmates in other divisions, much less bother to remember them or their names, but why did he not recognize her from her appearance at least?

“Oh, I joined this school this year, by the way.”

Ah. That explained it.

“I have been a very outdoorsy person from childhood and I’ve been stung by bees more than once in my life. So, I know what you must feel right now and I kinda know what to do about it,” she continued, “Anyway, I think that’s enough information for you to trust me with the stinger.”

Without waiting for Levi’s reply she swiped her ID card from its holder and grabbed Levi’s hand.

“What about you?” she asked, “What’s your name?”

Distracted by the question, Levi attempted to answer it. “Le-”

He flinched, grunting in pain as Hange swiped the ID over his hand without hesitation, effectively removing the stinger, with way more force than necessary.

“There we go!” she declared proudly, a wide smile on her face. “Good job, Lee!”

Levi was still smarting from the sting to correct her.

#levihan #this was supposed to be a crackfic #but i got too invested in it #i wanted to post something for levihan week 2021 #school au #levihanweek2021 #i've actually got a better fic ready i swear #this is just for the funsies #crackfics are fun to write

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doodle-zombie · 3 years

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Lamia Bonding: Oozy Guest Special

We interrupt this unplanned Lamia Bonding Hiatus to bring you some Oozy appreciation! Lately, much of my writing has been RP on Discord only (largely due to my own nerves and feeling like crap) but I have been punched with inspiration. In the face. All of @theriverpersonshadow 's boys tend to really get me going and Oozy is basically Val's unofficial official Goop Husband (fight me I dare you).

So sit back and read a short story of some silly idiots being silly!

She'd always been willing to learn new things but the steady stream of words almost visibly flowing from Keith's mouth had Val feeling very underprepared for this new venture she'd taken on. It had seemed like a good idea to know at least a little bit about DnD, considering everyone she spoke to regularly at Caring Coils played. Piper had expressed a desire to once more be a dragon and she figured she'd be able to wrangle Marmalade, Lapis, and Lazuli into learning with her so they could all have some fun. But the jargon being spit at her in quick succession, in a tone of voice far too excited to be normal, was quickly making her have second thoughts.

Val was more a learn-by-doing individual. She wanted to see it being done when it was explained to her, not have the equivalent of thought vomit projected at her face. Keith had done good, in the beginning. He'd given a good explanation of the very basics of basics but he'd quickly gotten so enthusiastic that Val was left floundering.

Good gods, how did she get him to stop?!

Just when she was contemplating running away, Val quickly spotted her favorite lamia around and quickly shouted an excuse before hightailing it. It wasn't that she didn't like Keith (she did!) but he could get really intense about the oddest things and he clearly didn't know much about Valerie beyond her being a lamia owner and insane enough to be planning on opening a sanctuary for them. So when she asked him about DnD he must have assumed she would be like Alex... but Val only knew DnD was a lot of fun, needed people, and someone called a GM usually ran things.

So she knew next to nothing of substance.

Oozy poking his head into her field of vision was a lifesaver and she scooped up her goopy man while making her escape. He made a sound of amused surprise, still somewhat jumpy about her willingness to dirty her clothes every time she laid eyes upon him but he didn't sound particularly vexed.

One glance at his face was enough for dread to pool in her stomach. Every Corny she had ever met could pull off such a frightening smile when they were ready to unleash hell upon someone and Oozy was no different. She felt the foreboding in his grin.

"You heard nothing at all!" Val was quick to insist. "Nothing. Nada. Zero."

"Uh-huh."

Oh, he sounded much too smug and gleeful for her liking. Oozy wasn't normally like this, either, so she was stuck being increasingly suspicious of his smile and what he might be planning. He wasn't being malicious so she didn't think he would hurt her feelings but she feared for her pride more than anything else.

But, Oozy didn't say anything else for a long while. Not when she strode past Nikolai with a casual declaration of taking Oozy outside, not when she carried him to a bench in the park, and not when she began to talk about her latest asshole client and his crazy specific demands for another large-breasted female to be drawn in some anatomically impossible pose. Val didn't particularly like feeling as if she couldn't share an interest with Oozy, considering she liked talking with him and didn't want to add to his worries, but how did you bring up interest in something without seeming fake?

Honestly, Val had always thought DnD and such were really fun! She liked to roleplay in games and she'd always loved fantasy adventures but something always seemed to throw her away from DnD when she was younger. Then she'd reached the point where she just... didn't know how to get started.

What if she seemed desperate? Or dishonest! Hux would surely throw the mother of all tantrums if he caught wind of her interest.

She only realized she'd been silent for too long when a phalange was pressed into her cheek, right beside the divot where her piercing sat. Oozy looked more concerned now and, somehow, that made her feel even worse.

"Can you explain DnD to me?" Val blurted out. A moment to process passed. She blinked, mouthed what she'd said to herself, and promptly wished the cosmos would yeet her into a new century. Oozy looked rather stunned at her question too. "Oh stars, please don't laugh! I always wanted to learn more about it but nobody ever wanted to tell me so I gave up for ages. But you like DnD and I hate feeling like I only ever talk about stuff I'm interested in. Please shut me up now."

"Huh."

Well, he wasn't laughing but what kind of reaction was that! Val puffed her cheeks out just so she could huff more effectively, plopping Oozy into her lap so she could look sternly down at the dome of his skull.

Wait...

Oozy wasn't even smiling.

Shit, did she break Oozy? She would gladly take it all back!

"Nobody's ever asked me to explain it before, 's all."

"I said that out loud, didn't I."

"Sure did."

They both paused to stare at one another before they were laughing. A little hysterically, but it was laughter they shared.

"I really do wanna know more, though. Can't say I'll ever play with you guys, given how loud Hux might scream if I did, but you like DnD a lot, right? And Piper has been asking if he can be a dragon again. Plus, we can come up with ideas to troll Hux while you play with him next time."

If Oozy had any doubts before, he seemed to have lost them once he started laughing as he explained.

Maybe it was the closeness she had with Oozy but, his explanation stuck much better than Keith's had.

#zombie writes #self insert #valerie #lamia oozy #what is this fluff I have spawned

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onyxinc · 3 years

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DECEMBER 9TH : MISTLETOE

𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐄 : tell us about your character’s first kiss .

mentions : frank and carol sullivan , rose morrison . content warning : alcohol , food , and kissing .

new years eve, 2014. you’re fifteen years old and you and seventy - five other people are packed in like sardines. as you and your parents step inside the two - story row house five doors down from your own, all you remember thinking is that this is definitely some sort of fire code violation. received a whopping four hours earlier, the invitation was the definition of a pity invite. your dad had run into marci sherman while perusing foodtown’s bleak spreadable cheese section, and she thought it was just so sad that the man who heroically repaired her washer valve’s plans to ring in the new year consisted of a quiet night in with the family.

historically speaking, sullivans weren’t exactly a social breed. your parents kept their circle to a modest handful, just a rotating cycle of family friends who swept into town a few times a year to sip boxed wine and gush about how big you’ve gotten. despite the innate lack of blood relation, you were instructed to call these people aunt and uncle; carol was an only child, and frank hadn’t spoken to his brother since he caught him stealing from the plumbing business twelve years ago, so the pickings were about as slim as the selection of non - alcoholic beverages at this party.

you’re tired. you’re bored. you can’t stop refreshing words with friends to see if rose played her turn, despite the fact that it’s been almost a year since you’ve so much as heard from her. ever the attentive host, mrs. sherman catches you staring at your phone and promptly swoops in, ushering you towards her son’s bedroom to play with the other kids. well, for one, you were far too old for playing, and for two, paulie sherman was eleven. years ago, you were recruited to babysit with the promise of twenty bucks in your pocket, a dream that died the moment he threw his xbox controller at the screen and pinned it on you. the so - called others were around the same age, if not younger, with the exception of a girl named jackie who introduced herself as paulie’s cousin from pennsylvania.

she was nice enough, though she wouldn’t stop talking about her boyfriend and how his best friends list on snapchat kept flip - flopping between her and a girl from his youth group. pretty, too, even with a scowl on her face and a mouth full of braces adorned with pink and aqua rubber bands. after an agonizing twenty minutes of watching paulie and his school friends play russian roulette with a nerf pistol, jackie comes to the conclusion that said boyfriend is, in fact, cheating and asks if you want to go outside.

“ it’s, like, 20 degrees out. ” you point out, and your ears begin to burn with embarrassment. low of 20, your weather app said that morning, feels like 8. did pennsylvanians not feel cold? “ and mrs. sherman said — ”

“ no one’s putting a nerf gun to your head. ” she fires back, and slips out the door with you scrambling on her heels.

much to your relief, you find the adults are far too drunk on spiked cider and mr. sherman’s famous wing dip ( equal parts canned chicken, blue cheese, and frank’s red hot ) to notice two young teens slinking through the crowd. across the kitchen, you spot your parents joined at the hip, being subjected to a never - ending slideshow reel of someone’s myrtle beach vacation. a sharp pang of pity jabs you in the gut, but you quickly dismiss it. they were the ones who made you come here in the first place. you were perfectly content to sit on the couch eating crescent dogs and watching ryan seacrest’s valiant attempt at moving his facial features.

two minutes later, you’re sitting shoulder to shoulder on the steps of a�� splintered deck, watching jackie smear a thick layer of goop all over her lips. the artificial scent of sugar cookie commingles with the chill in the air and you shove your hands into the kangaroo pockets of your hoodie to keep warm. as she caps the tube of gloss and flashes a shy smile in your direction, you remember thinking she’s going to kiss me — but you’ve been wrong before. more times than you could count.

“ what’s your name again? ” she asks, fiddling with her necklace. it was one of those wire pendants shaped with a pair of needle - nose pliers to spell out one’s name. jaclyn, hers declared in spray - on gold cursive.

“ jason. ”

“ hi, jason. ”

before you can even progress the bizarre turn this night has taken, she leans forward and sort of . . . places her mouth against yours. there’s something expectant in the way she lingers, as if she’s waiting for you to unleash your expert kissing prowess upon the world. a foolish part of you had always wanted your first experience to resemble the famous upside - down kiss from spider - man, though the technicalities seemed a little too advanced for a newcomer such as yourself. instead, hands not budging from their pockets, you make a feeble at attempt at kissing her back. the two of you sit there for a few moments, lips repeatedly bumping into one another’s in some strange ritual dance that in no way resembles kissing, and when the sliding door opens and mr. sherman steps outside, you’re just glad it’s over.

when the dust settles on the initial shock of being caught, jackie puts her number in your phone. you both know she’ll never hear from you, and it’s undoubtedly for the best. by the end of winter break, she and her boyfriend would reunite, and soon enough, youth group girl and new years boy would be little more than a footnote in their love story.

it’s eight minutes to midnight when your parents finally escape the trenches and flag you down in the dining room, where you’re chowing down on a plate of sweet and sour meatballs in solitude. they ask if you’re ready to leave and you cannot agree fast enough. the three of you shuffle home in silence and the whole time, you can’t stop yourself from feeling that by kissing paulie sherman’s cousin, you’ve somehow betrayed your norwegian pen pal. god, you wish you stayed home tonight.

just as you reach the doorstep, the sound of muted cheers erupts throughout the block. fifteen miles west, the ball drops in times square and if you listen hard enough, you can almost hear the opening notes of auld lang syne.

you watch as your dad stops fumbling with his keys to lean over and give your mom a tender kiss. so that’s how it’s supposed to look.

#◞ * 𝒋𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒂𝒏 : script .#opalsadvent #hello god

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writing-the-end · 4 years

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LoL Chapter 13: From the Sea

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU belongs to @theguardiansofredland )

Eremita, the island the hermits call home, has always been their safe haven. No one dares to enter the Ashioll sea. They are safe on Eremita.

Until now.

_________________________________________________

Etho hates night. Funny, for a shadow ninja mage. Except that the night has no shadows, unless the moon is bright. People always think that shadow means darkness, but Etho knows it’s the exact opposite. Shadows need light.

Either way, he hates the night. And walking back from Xisuma’s tower, he huddles close to the lantern he carries. At least the wind has died down from the storm, though the dirt paths that traverse from home to home are muddy and clinging to Etho’s shoes. Ugh, those are going to be a pain to clean, the fabric takes forever to dry.

A rustling noise in the tall grass brings him out of his internal complaining, and Etho raises his lantern to see farther ahead. The grass at the edge of the beach shifts, a low groan escaping the darkness beyond. Etho groans. “Cleo, if this is another prank of yours, it’s not working. You can’t prank me.”

No answer. Etho steps closer. “Or maybe it’s Grian. May I remind you that time I let you sleep in when you were supposed to be training? I’m cashing in that good favor.” Still nothing. “Grian?”

A fireball erupts from the grass, sending Etho diving into the dirt to avoid his hair being set on fire. The projectile crashes into the stone roof of TFC’s cave, embers falling off and onto the grass below, where it fizzles away on the wet ground. For a second, Etho wonders if it’s Tango pulling the prank. He wouldn’t be surprised- the ZIT trio has had their hand in a number of pranks on the island.

But the form that appears from the grass is none of Etho’s friends. The grey form saps all the warmth from Etho’s lantern, tattered remains of a robe falling apart as the husk wizard moves. Empty eyes of the soulless remains lay on the shadow wizard, and fire collects in the husk’s hand. Aiming for Etho.

Just enough fire for a shadow to be cast. Seconds before he almost becomes roast ninja, he sinks into the shadow realm. Racing across the dimension, he finds the next closest shadow- False’s forge. “False! We’re under attack!”

False snorts awake, bouncing her head off the stone oven behind her. At the single word ‘attack’, she’s on her feet. The blacksmith grabs the nearest weapon, a sakura yari, swinging the three pronged spear at the nearest threat. The tip of the blade was still burning red. “Where is it, who is it? Are they pirates, zombies? Zombie pirates?”

“We already have one of those, and she’s on our side! There’s husks on the island.” False blinks away the sleep lingering in her eyes, tossing the half made spear in lieu for her claymore.

“I’ll wake up Impulse and Tango, you go get the others awake.” False orders, and the only two awake hermits split apart again.

Well, two of three. Of course, the local poet was awake, quill running across his non-magic journal. Writing poems and essays for no reason other than he likes to. Joe will admit it was his...guerrilla tactics of writing and the passive aggressive nature of his works that got him kicked out of his past three previous guilds. Lucky for him, the hermits thrive off his witty nature and smarmy quips, whether they be elegant or crass. He hardly looks up when he hears the sound of howling, teeth snapping. He leans back, looking at the ink on his journal in the dying candlelight. Once he feels satisfied with the way his words weave together in his poem, he sets it down.

And notices the fight going on outside. His glasses jolt off his nose, the library shaking and shifting to the noise of an explosion. Joe sighs, seeing hellfire rips across the pathways, greenery, and gardens in the center of the hermit’s living quarters. Tango really can’t hold himself back, can he?

Joe stands, shutting his book and placing it on the bed stand. He digs the feather to rest along his ear, pinning it in place with his glasses. He brushes the grumbs of his late-night snack off his pajama pants, and steps outside.

“Hey Joe!” Zedaph calls, riding atop the back of a peryton. “How’s a little late night fighting for you?”

Zedaph points forward, and his small army of local wildlife charges. Joe blinks the weariness from his eyes, and jumps into action. The husks appear from the darkness, flanking Impulse in the smoke his explosions have created. Well, it’s a good thing he has his quill.

If there’s one thing Etho’s glad about, it’s Impulse and Tango’s bright magic. The fires of Tango’s hellbound magic, the bright blossoms of Impulse’s explosions, they cast bright shadows all across the island. One second Etho’s racing from False’s forge, the next he’s skidding out of the shadows in front of Wels’s cottage. He brushes his fingers against the wooden door, but senses no shadows beyond the walls. Dammit, he’s already asleep? Etho must’ve really given him a workout training together.

“Wels!” Etho calls, clambering onto his roof. There’s a chimney, and the fire is out at the bottom. Etho shrugs, and jumps in. Etho presses his hands and feet against the cobbled material, slowing his fall into a silent roll. His shout was less silent. “Wels we’re under attack!”

The paladin leaps from bed, brandishing a knife Etho didn’t realize he even had. Does...does Wels sleep with a knife under his pillow? He shakes his untamed hair from his eyes, locks free from their ponytail as sleep disappears from his. “Who’s attacking? Lemme at em.”

“Husks, now come on man, we don’t have time to waste.” Etho helps Wels find the bare essentials of his armor, sifting through his friend's dark cottage till his fingers run against metal. What Etho wouldn’t give to light a candle, just to help. And more shadows to run through. Once Wels is ready to fight, the two bust down the door together.

Most of the other hermist are awake, battling across the island. Grian swoops low, weaving through ashen bodies and casting wind spells to send them knocked to the ground. From there, the other hermits are able to deal swift blows, whether with weapon or magic. Wels and Etho glance at each other. “Bet you I can down more enemies than you.”

“You’re on, paladin.” Etho grins, pulling free his weapon. A deadly short sickle unfolds from the metal chains around it, twirling in the air behind Etho. He dashes into the middle of battle, unleashing his kusarigama upon an unfortunate wizard’s husk. Not like there was anything left- just the dying body. It wasn’t even a zombie- there was no life remaining.

He whips the chain out, snapping the iron bell at the end against the husk’s arm. It breaks the spell being cast, turning the blighted body’s attention to Etho. But the ninja is gone, invisible in the dark night. Leaping from behind, the chain snatches it’s victim by the legs and pulls them out from under it. Etho rolls away pulling the husk with him. And digging the curved blade into his opponent. Ash breaks around him like shreds of paper, the husk gone.

Iskall traps a small pack of colocolo, laughing as the demonic rats sink into his puddle of iskallium. Melting away to ash and green goop. He turns his gaze onto his next enemy, looking out across the roiling sea. The husks are attacking like an army, but what are they after? How did they even get here, know they were here? Stress zips by, skating along ice and freezing a line of monsters escaping the sea. Marching into land in a perfect line. Like they’re being commanded.

His emerald eye glints, training on the darkened water before him. There’s something out there. No- someone. Iskall turns, searching for TFC in the crowd of fighting hermits. “Hey man, there’s someone out there!”

TFC turns, hand reaching out with his hand behind him and casting a defensive spell. The attacking husk, the remains of an arcane guard falling back. TFC switches the bloodstone in his hand for Iolite. “Hey Impulse, give me a bit of light!”

“You got it man!” Impulse calls, waving a series of bright explosions around TFC. Not only do the explosions keep husks from attacking the distracted guildmaster, but it blossoms enough illumination to see beyond the dark waves. What he sees just beyond the light doesn’t really help. He catches a glint of something shiny, but what he notices most is the form's reaction to the light. They step away, movement fluid and living.

A commander, someone controlling the army. TFC growls, eyes narrowing. This must be the dark mage, the person causing all this. Someone has to grab them. “Stress!”

The ice wizard skids to a stop, spikes of ice digging into husks in a concentric circle around her. TFC nods out to sea, where she follows the two boys’ gaze. It takes her a minute to fix her eyes on the darkness, but it’s easy to notice the shadow figure- they stand out against the ripples and waves of the ocean. And they definitely don’t look like they’re falling apart like a husk. “Alright, let’s see who’s causin’ my friends trouble ‘ere.”

Stress sprints forward, thick snow boots pounding against burnt grass. Her eyes remain fixed on the person out at sea, standing on the water as if it were tile. The form doesn’t move, and for a second Stress swears she can see a glint of white teeth grinning back at her. They think she’s forgotten about the ocean, the waves crashing onto the shore. She jumps over the first rippling wave, crashing weakly against the shore behind her.

And when her boots meet water, the sea beneath her freezes. The ice skims across the waves, traveling her with it like a sled across snow. She jumps over a wave, running over the water. Each place her feet touch water, ice freezes outward and supports her weight. The figure seems alarmed, struggling at Stress’s approach. She gets close enough to see a hand move.

A massive rogue wave rises above Stress. Threatening to swallow her whole, the crest falling towards the ice mage like an avalanche. Stress raises her hands, magic swirling free as she attempts to protect herself. The wave crashes.

From the shore, TFC watches. Xisuma and Iskall are holding back the husks, allowing the guildmaster to focus on his wizards. Do his job, both as a leader and a father figure. The wave crashes in on itself, revealing the sea behind it. He can’t see the figure. He can’t see Stress. Behind him, TFC hears the hermits calling out, the sound of the fight quieting. But he’s not focused on that. He’s worried about Stress.

Oh, what he wouldn’t give for xB to be back. To have a kipling to dive into the water and search for Stress. But him and a few others were still gone, on a mission in east Lairyon. TFC frets, pacing back and forth. He knows Stress is strong- she’s the strongest hermit out there. She left her title as a duchess purely for the desire to pursue her magic, to be free and have fun. She can lift even the heaviest of weights, something that she loves to boast over after a few beers. Stress is strong, and tenacious. But he still worries, the same way he worries over every hermit. He’s their leader, and their his guildmembers. They’re his family- he’d be worried if any other one was out there.

He’s going in. He steps a foot down onto the beach, but snaps his head up at the sound of water splashing. Stress is at the surface, sputtering but alive. Her heavy robe weighs her down, and she crawls herself onto a slab of ice, kicking her way to shore.

Stress washes onto the sand, her lungs aching and fist clenched around something. The wave throttled her, forcing her deep into the water with no idea which way was up. She wasn’t the only one down there- the figure was also knocked over by her magic, thrown into the ocean. They disappeared, but not before Stress grabbed hold of something at their waist. Whatever she holds right now.

“Did we win?” Stress questions, seeing her friends surrounding her. They’re bloody and bruised, ash and husk cinders smeared on their face. But she’s just glad to see them all.

“As soon as you and that stranger went under, they retreated.” Iskall looks up, grimacing. “Sorry about your barn, Zedaph.”

Zed shrugs. “It wasn’t your fault, I’m just glad my sheep and other critters are a-okay. Plus, now I can build an even better one!”

“What’s in your hand, Stressy?” BDubs questions, pointing to her fist. Stress sits up, welcoming a blanket from Ren’s imagination magic and the warmth of Tango’s hellfire.

Stress looks down, raising the material up. “Its ahhhh…” She peers closer, realizing what it is. She sobers up, her back straightening like she’s at a noble dinner. “It’s a Guild Council belt.”

The gold tassel strings at the end of the rope sash is enough for them all to know. Only those seated on the Council are given such adornment, a symbol of their dedication and hard work to the kingdom. Iskall bites his lip, pieces falling in together. “I don’t think this was a random attack. Not like Danes or Gildara.”

“There was actually someone ‘ere, orchestrating the whole thing.” Stress adds, nestling deep into the blanket. Gods, Ren knows how to imagine a soft, warm blanket. “Someone from the Council of Guilds. And someone who obviously don’t want us involved anymore.”

“This is...a lot bigger than it first appeared to be.” Xisuma breathes, staring at the gold string, flickering in the light.

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #light of lairyon #lol #wizard au #wizard hermits #hermitcraft fanfic #hermitcraft au #wizard etho #wizard false #wizard wels #wizard stress #wizard joe #ethoslab #falsesymmetry #welsknight #stressmonster

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konilt · 5 years

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Parenting in all its Glory

Following the theory of All for One |Sensei being the biological absentee parent of Midoriya Izuku, and the greatest villain of all times himself, failing to bond with his own son:

[trigger warning, but only for this first chapter; attempted suicide]

Parenting in all its glory - Chapter 1 - Konilt - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Summary:

a story were Izuku is subjected to a psychologically horrific yet paradisiac environment, where the one person that cares the most about his flesh and blood becomes the one monster to avoid at all costs, with that Monster of all monsters trying at the same time to “repair” their “damaged” Relationship, while taking over Japan all the same.

Perhaps one of those tasks is slightly failed.

There wasn’t possibly anything wrong with this situation.

All for One had managed to get back his supposed rights of guardianship on him, and he had had to move from Toshinori’s apartment to a luxurious complex without having any choice in the matter.

His mother in a coma didn’t help.

He hadn’t even come by his own choice. He hadn’t even taken a bus, a car, something to go there.

Black goop was all he had seen.

There had been the crushing embrace that had been done before, and a few muttered words that had made him froze and panic, realizing who the person was.

He had already known, but once the teleportation was done, he had been able to see the black curls and an absence of all scarring.

Two tense flares had been fixed on him, the eyes not even leaving an instant as they had began talking the commodities and boundaries of his stay.

And how apparently, Izuku’s studies at U.A. had been removed from existence, and any references to them would be at best ignored, and at worst, followed by long admonitions and rebuttals.

The chiding was working, and Izuku hadn’t liked it as soon as he had realized it.

He was supposed to take classes with personal tutors, people that “would be able to bring the best out of him”.

He was sure that All Might was trying his best, outside.

But the fact that from the very few voice calls he had heard (his… father had been quite too efficient at hiding them from him in the four months they had- been in the same- house), All for One was somehow reappearing on the political scene.

And quite successfully, too.

That could only unnerve him.

He had tried to escape, at first.

So many attempts at escapes.

So many of them.

His f- his 'father' had not even punished him once for his attempts.

He had tilted his head, a disapproving glint in his eyes, and done nothing more than dulling him with way too much work for a single human being to do.

He had even forbidden him of taking dessert, once.

It had been utterly humiliating.

And it had slowly worked, for all that Izuku hated it.

For each escape attempt that Izuku made each new day, he had ineluctably been reduced to square one, with or the same damned black goop that seemed to come half of the times, or the slow steps that didn’t even show any kind of haste, catching up to him.

It had been the same disappointed stares, the same awkward silences that were held with unwithered control from the man who always wore formal attires.

It had only showed him how pointless each attempt was.

How ineluctable it was.

And slowly, his escape attempts had become less frequent.

Izuku knew that at first he had told himself that it was just to do more in the quality than the quantity.

In order to find a righter moment.

It was a lie, and Izuku could only grimace when he had realized that fact.

And somehow, his- his father had been pleased with that.

Pleased by “progress”.

Izuku had been allowed a bit more freedom with each day an escape wasn’t attempted, and when one was done once more, his newly acquired rights were reduced, his load of work increased, and Izuku, humiliated once more in subtle ways by the man that had probably more than 200 years of experience in doing so.

And if Izuku didn’t do his load of work, well.

There was punishment.

The only true thing he was punished for, contrary to escape attempts, that seemed a matter far less important. Far more futile.

One of the first lessons he had learned, all escape was futile.

And the man always managed to bring guilt in his guts whenever Izuku attempted one.

And Izuku hated it.

So when Izuku wondered in the kitchen, searching for something to eat, and trying to find something comestible and not old fashioned, he jerked when he noticed his- supposedly father, leaning on the wall opposed to the bar.

“You aren’t going to skip dinner, are you, Izuku?”

The younger boy hid behind his back the box of cookies he had found, cookies probably overpriced, probably coming from a company that somehow baked cookies with the luxury label on it.

Cookies were cookies, and he didn’t understand how one box could come at a price higher than ten normal boxes of those.

Though he wouldn’t admit that they weren’t delicious.

“Maybe I am”, he answered, a bit of spite in his voice.

He heard a disapproving tsk.

“You do know that that is not healthy for you, young child. Let me offer you needed counsel.”

He saw in the corner of his eyes maybe the damn goop appear, and the weight of the box disappear from his arms.

The box in question reappeared almost immediately like magic in the hands of the standing man.

The glare that was once more given had almost something warm in it.

He tried to ignore the caulked steps that approached him, and he kept himself immobile as he looked right in front of him, ignoring anything that wasn’t a wall.

He was destabilized by the sudden ruffle of his hair.

It was almost affectionate.

“Did you know that your uncle, my little brother, had the same tastes as you?”

Izuku answered by silence.

“Back then, the small company that it was made home-made pastries, but unknown to him, as we soon parted ways, that company sank with the low incomes it made. Yet, he continued to buy the same cookies from the same brand, unknowing that I had acquired it. It was quite a sweet thing, than to see him eat the same delicacies from our younger years, unbeknownst that the luxury boutique it had become was only of the consequences of my actions.”

So much for wanting to eat something not old-fashioned.

The affectionate ruffled stopped.

“But I must quite bother you with my rambles, how rude of me.”

Izuku looked up and stared back in the eyes of the man.

It didn’t last more than four seconds.

Somehow, he could never manage to win a staring competition.

Izuku tried to sigh.

He struggled not to make it remain blocked in his throat.

“So I expect you for dinner, youth.”

...

This time, Izuku did grimace.

It wasn't the fruit of any sort of reasoning.

Just... a fleeting envy.

This time, he didn’t wait for any sort of order to finally go.

He took shaky steps towards the door, ignoring the burning eyes that had to probably follow him from wherever the man was.

Izuku only wondered since when he had accepted all of this.

Since when this had become the norm.

Since when he accepted curfew, since when he accepted the impossible amount of work, the rebuttal of his dreams, the denial of his needs.

“Young man.” he heard.

He ignored it.

He missed some of his friends. He missed Yagi.

“Young man.”

He missed mom.

...Did he miss mom?

There was a distinct instant of silence, and a cold menacing storm was about to break out on him, and for all that Izuku knew it, he decided to be the one to begin it for once.

“WHAT.” he screamed.

He was so done with the manipulation, with the entirety of all things that made him simply accept it, for everything that had made through him so easily.

Somehow, the man had so much control on him that he couldn’t just cope with it any more.

He felt tears in the corner of his eyes.

He couldn’t bear it. Not one more moment. Silence would be denial.

The tears prickled, and he bitterly remembered how he was hungry, how he was tired, how he couldn’t bear any more of the long stupid dinners where he was supposed to report, which very clearly, was only an excuse to bring him to talk his mind out, just so that the man could see how he was changing.

Yes, tears prickled.

But- yes, he only needed space.

No?

“What- is wrong?” came the answer, feeling too fake to be sincere, too worried to be actually of matter.

It was the first time the man reacted like this, and it was the only thing that was surprising Izuku right now.

“I am Done.” was his answer.

He felt the hatred coming through his eyes, that made the man’s eyebrows rise, and against all rationality, he activated Full Cowl.

The man, too, seemed surprised.

“Over a box of cookies?”

Izuku tsked, and didn’t wait for the man to do the first blow.

Not like the man would have ever thrown a blow at him.

...

And as he threw a violent kick, he thought that maybe that was the solution.

He had always run from him. He had always been or taken out cold or accepted the man’s words to give up.

He knew the man would never hurt him.

The least possible, at best.

Maybe the solution was to force the man to do something he would regret.

And as he kicked, he saw the man’s arm suddenly deflect it way too fast for the human eye, and grip his leg, almost gently.

Like he was made of paper.

And as Izuku’s punch came in contact with the man’s jaw, he twisted his leg, trying to make it break if the man didn’t unleash him.

He saw his father’s pupils becoming suddenly thinner, and Izuku was freed, to which he began immediately to fall down back on the ground.

He landed smoothly, and immediately jumped back, preparing a new assault.

“Playing dirty, aren’t we, Izuku?”

He didn’t answer. His eyes were concentrated on his next tool, as a crazy idea went in his mind.

He didn’t stare at his future to be tool. It would only give away what he was about to do.

Which his- father would definitively not like.

“There, there, young man, there’s no need to continue these frivolities. I’ll let it go if you talk to me and stop this right now.”

That made Izuku cringe.

He answered, this time.

“So WHAT? That you can break me and manipulate me better? So that you gain MORE control over me?”

His eyes were fury as he whipped his last tears.

“You hurt me, an-and I’m done. I am going to hurt you back.”

He saw a strange amused smirk appearing on the man’s face, but his eyes had a… worried edge?

No, that was just him imagining things.

He always imagined things.

“And how are you going to do that, youngling?”

Izuku met All for One’s eyes, and for once, smirking back, he said:

“By the only possible way, of course.”

One of the man’s eyebrows quirked.

Izuku didn’t look longer, and jumped towards the kitchen bar, sparks of electricity igniting along the way.

And he did what he had wanted to do.

He took solidly in his arms the tool he had wanted from the start.

A knife.

He smiled back, a pained smirk plastered on his face.

All for One’s face became suddenly serious.

“Izuku. Do. not.”

It was so strange, seeing for once the man immobile, as if he was an unstable animal, cornered, that would soon leash out.

And perhaps an actual threat for the first time in four months.

And Izuku smiled back, wanting probably to say to the man that he was sorry for his mother, if she woke up back.

Instead, those childish lines got out of his mouth, as he took his decision.

“You can’t order me what to do any more, father.”

And as Izuku settled for his veins instead of his throat, moving the knife from the place near his head to a farther one, somehow making All for One show Strange fake relief, he said one last time, as an echo:

“Yes, you can’t. Any more.”

And he pressed the metal, a swift movement, circular, deepening in his veins.

The knife was somehow immediately thrown away by an unseen force, and Izuku regretted that it was only one arm that was butchered. He felt more than saw firm arms taking him as he fell back, repeated “no, no, no”s as Izuku’s vision became blurry.

He looked with an empty stare in the eyes of the man, and he somehow saw an open panic inside of them.

Izuku mentally cursed once he remembered that the man had an arsenal of healing quirks probably hidden somewhere.

All hazy, a dark liquid pouring around them, he said a few last words as his consciousness finally faded away.

“Should have aimed for the throat.”

#dad for one #fanfic #all for one is hisashi #bnha #midoriya hisashi #all for one #midoriya Izuku #drama and deep pression

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terribleben10opinions · 5 years

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Alien force balancing part the third

Alien force aliens too strong, me don’t like, gonna change to make more interesting fights and higher stakes. Let’s end this exercise in proposing changes to a kids show that’s been off the air for like 7 years.

1. Chromastone

Current power set:

1. Energy absorption

2. Laser and shield generation from absorbed energy out of pink crystals

3. High durability

4. Flight (????)

Revised power set:

1. Energy absorption

2. Laser production from absorbed energy out of pink crystals

3. High durability provided he’s not full of energy

Chromastone’s species is related to Diamondhead’s and serves as a back up to all the minds of Tetrax’s species so I’d say he’s a sort of messiah for the Diamondhead species and I think that should be reflected in how Ben uses Chromastone. What if, instead of pure “absorb energy show out rainbows through hands” Ben had to concentrate to ensure the energy is coming out of his hands as opposed to any other of his pink crystals? I think possibly a “calm demeanour” restriction to actually use his powers foreshadows Chromastone's actual role and purpose and forces Ben to develop maturity and could maybe provide a cool scene where someone is kidnapped that Ben super cares about (probably Julie but I’d also love this with Kevin) and he uses Chromastone with deadly precision because he’s at this weird state of hyper rage calm and ultimate concentration and is DECIMATING whoever is keeping the kidnapped person hostage. For everyday use this would just mean Chromastone does more absorbing and can act as an energy sponge more, he could still shoot the lasers back he would just do less and they would have to be more accurate, putting more stress and importance on each shot. Second big change is Chromastone’s durability, I want him to be more susceptible to physical attacks when he’s more charged up with energy. I get that he’s made of probably a diamond like substance but having him invulnerable to energy and physical attacks is like that annoying twat in your class who had an everything proof shield during pretend games at recess NO TRISTAN WE CAN’T TELL ON YOU FOR THIS BUT STILL FUCK YOU WE DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU AND NOW LUCAS IS CRYING BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE FUCK HEAD. So the more energy Chromastone has got the more brittle he becomes meaning he can be durable or offensive but not both. This can be how Vilgax kills Chromastone also by charging him up WAY too much and Ben is freaking out so can’t expel the lasers out and then Vilgax just flicks him because the original battle was so lifeless and anticlimactic. Also can we please have Gwen shoot a load of mana into Chromastone when they’re surrounded and then destroy everything around them, that’d be sick.

2. Jetray

Current power set:

1. Supersonic -> light speed flight

2. Laser vision and tail

3. Durability to survive gunfire

4. No need for oxygen

Revised power set:

1. Supersonic flight and swimming

2. Ability to generate electricity around body like an electric eel

Jetray is one of the main reasons I started making these posts, in the OG series XLR8 was fast, Stinkfly could fly and heatblast had projectiles, in UAF Jetray does all of these and does them better meaning Jetray is rarely going to be in a situation where he’s out of his element. Jetray also has some of the highest bullshit levels I’ve ever seen, no need for oxygen??? Super speed in space??? GUNFIRE DURABILITY??? FUCKING LASERS???? Thats too much man. I’m taking away the Superman factor and just making him a fast flyer while also giving him the Superman blue factor and giving him a little bit of electricity. Jetray won’t be able to shoot the electricity or anything but he can zap people if he’s in direct contact with them, and of course he can do some problem solving with it like maybe holding a metal stick and using it as an cattle prod or Kevin absorbs some metal and Jetray supercharges him making him basically Mjonir. There should also be a cool down on the electricity so not everything Jetray does is going to be zapping fools, there’ll also be just good old Jetray aerial combat. Just as a final little change I want to change the actually design to the one in the bottom right of this concept picture.

Tbh Jetray is super ugly and I’d rather him have this buggy face instead of the thumb with eyes and a mouth he currently has.

3. Humungousaur

Current power set:

1. Big strong dinosaur

2. Thick and durable hide

3. Ability to increase size and mass

Revised power set:

1. Big strong dinosaur

2. Thick and durable hide

3. Black spikes that Ben is able to shape into different dinosaur parts and maybe weapons

I am admittedly harsh with Alien force for it’s heinous crime of not being the show I watched when I was a child and thus less smart and full of criticism and anxiety and because of this I really try and give credit where credit is due with alien force but humungousaur is something I can’t give credit for. I know that the show is unrealistic and doesn’t have to adhere to normal physics but even in a world with a magic alien watch that has a person change mass and size, having humungousaur gain mass doesn’t make sense because humungousaur’s species don’t all wear those magic alien watches so I think they should take the omniverse route and quietly sweep his size changing under the rug. In addition I think they should take notes from the... 🤢 take notes in design from the r-🤢... TAKE NOTES FROM THE REBOOTED DESIGN 🤮🤮🤮.

Writing that makes the old man in me scream because the reboot Ben has FUCKED so many aliens (rip XLR8 & Wildvine) but they really did good with humungousaur. Really the design isn’t that different but I LOVE the black scales and I think it’d accent my proposed power change really which is to have those black spike form claws or triceratops horns or the normal mace on humungousaur’s tail essentially giving him the necrosword from marvel but with more dinosaur themes. (Real quick I only watch clips of the rebooted Ben 10 and I did see some pictures while writing this of humungousaurs with swords and shit on their tails so maybe I’m ripping this off but what are you gonna do huh? Call a cop?? I’ll just have sex with them 😎 ). This power change I think will give ben more routes of attack like headbutts using horns or tail swipes with the mace or even making all the black spikes go on his hand and unleashing a BEAT DOWN on someone. Honestly Humungousaur like Goop is a good boy who didn't really require a change it was just something that bothered me more than something on a kids show should bother someone.

4. Alien X

Current power set:

1. Anything?

Revised power set:

1. Still anything

Ah Alien X, basically the antithesis to this whole time sink I’ve forced upon myself. Okay another cop out but Alien X was a really really good concept, it’s weird that the universe personified as DNA but who cares, this literal god has proper balances to ensure he doesn't break the show and they used it sparingly enough to make sure it never felt cheap and always had weight. The fact that Gwen and Kevin had to both use keys to activate Alien X was a realistic and cool decision and gave a sense of actual danger when using it. The problem with all this though is that Ben then only really has 9 aliens because Alien X is never used, so my proposed change is to make Alien X the 11th alien and just pop LODESTAR in his place for 10th, EVERYTHING else would be the same just Ben would have access to Lodestar earlier and since LodeStar is a good good boy I don’t think he needs any changes.

Thanks everyone for reading this hot mess of a series, if weren’t clued off from the title alone theres 2 other parts in this series which are probably better because I used all the aliens I had ideas for power changes first and then went “shit, there’s still 4 left”.

#ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 alien swarm #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse

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cornedbeefhashtags · 5 years

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Who among us HASN’T jabbed their straw too aggressively through the plastic seal on their bubble tea, unleashing a small geyser of honeydew goop into a dying suburban mall and empowering two teenaged boys wearing Oakleys indoors to act out a play-by-play of the scene?

#living my best life

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variantia · 2 years

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BELLUM. ok I’m gotta go to sleep now because a bitch got work in the morning

but I will leave you with the final thought that I’m gonna bullshit a way for the DARK World citizens to come into this world completely fully formed instead of being like playing cards and shit

because 1 they deserve to spend time with their friends (like Ralsei with Kris and Susie and Lo and the Dreemurr kids)

and 2 can you imagine the absolute FUCKING CHAOS if you unleashed Lancer and Rouxls on the real world

like yeah here’s a goop man leading his round adoptive son on a child leash despite the kid being almost an adult by now

oh yeah also round boi has a mouth in his stomach he keeps it covered but it’s there and you know it’s there and the knowledge will haunt you despite him being the sweetest most friendliest round boi in existence

to say nothing of Rouxls trying to push his worm pasta on everyone who doesn’t chase him away within 2 seconds of him opening his mouth

also a reminder that Lancer tucks his bike into bed every night SOMEONE PROTECT THIS CHILD HE IS A SOFT BOI MASQUERADING AS A DELINQUENT BUT HE REALLY DOESN’T HAVE THE HEART FOR THAT

#is that a fucking gremlin ?? ( OOC. )#(( th th th th that's all folks ! *snores* ))

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thuashdore · 6 years

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a super rough timeline that is here up until i write the detailed, nicer-looking timeline: warcraft edition

...because five expansions have passed since i wrote my original biography for beau, and people need to know what is going on.

my about section currently covers Vanilla WoW and The Burning Crusade. that’s the easy part out of the way. the following are events that have occurred that Beau has actively been involved in, in one way or another. brief descriptions only; the actual timeline (which is coming) will be a lot more detailed - mostly for those folks who are not in the Warcraft universe... but hey.

this is going to be a long read. you’ll probably see why it’s taking me a while to do the full version. the descriptions are, rightly so, memey. you’ve been warned.

there are also a few things in here that are purely explanation. again, for those who are NOT familiar with the Warcraft universe: i got you babe. <3

oh and for all of those who know Warcraft like the back of their hand: tl;dr the player character story line (paladin edition), but without faction-specific events. you’ll be surprised how many of those exist. <3

WRATH OF THE LICH KING - a.k.a. lets go kill the dead guy who made the undead guys and wants to end the world.

2nd scourge invasion and zombie infestation begins - Beau learns about the Argent Crusade (a happy group who all want to be friends together and forget about the red vs blue fight) and joins their ranks

Alliance + Horde (read: blue and red, respectively) declare war on the Lich King (glorified necromancer with a big sword), and all able-bodied individuals venture to Northrend (read: cold continent).

Naxxramas happens (tl;dr they kill a lot of dead people, including a cat and the Lich King’s best pal).

The Nexus War happens (tl;dr they kill a bunch of blue dragons - including the boss blue dragon) - Beau is involved largely due to her affiliations with the dragonflights; the Bronze in particular, though the Netherwing are involved too.

The Halls of Stone and Lightning are found and unveiled. Ulduar happens soon after (uh... titan’s constructs think we’re bad. we punch them and they realise the tentacle guy underneath ulduar is the real bad guy. the world nearly ends, but through the power of friendship and good punching we stop that from happening. some red-haired mage gives a speech about it).

THE CALL OF THE CRUSADE - including the Argent Tournament, the Trial of the Champion and the Trial of the Crusader/Grand Crusader (tl;dr the leader of the Argent Crusade - Tirion - thought it’d be good to decide who gets to go kill the Lich King by having us all fight each other, and whoever survived would go. a big bug was underneath us and we squished it).

Assault on Icecrown Citadel - including the Forge of Souls (cool music btw), the Pit of Saron (go save Red + Blue people) and the Halls of Reflection (we found his big sword and he got angry at us so we had to run). Beau probably did this with Jaina... though I mean she wouldn’t say no to either her or Sylvanas asking. Jaina makes the most sense to me however.

Icecrown Citadel (tl;dr it happens not long after the above and we go kill the Lich King and his friends and also his pet dragon... but he nearly kills us all first until Tirion takes our kill and Lich King’s dead dad resurrects us but in the good way).

Ruby Sanctum (tl;dr strange things happen with the dragons so we say we’ll take a look at it, and then...)

CATACLYSM - a.k.a. let’s go kill the angry black dragon who wants to end the world.

The Shattering / Elemental Unrest (the angry black dragon was cooking under the world for a long while and has now come out... so the world is on fire).

Beau spends most of her time with the Dragonflights again (given it directly involves them) and works on bringing peace to the elements... so involves going to the Throne of the Four Winds, Hyjal, Bastion of Twilight (and Blackwing Descent) and, of course, Firelands. One for each element (and also killing the bad dragons’ kids and wife!!).

The Hour of Twilight (read: the End of the World), which includes the End Time instance (basically “if you don’t stop bad dragon he’ll die anyway but so will everyone else so”) the Hour of Twilight (the Archbishop was the bad guy the whole time!!) and Dragon Soul (Green Orc Jesus gets the killing blow this time, but we do kill the bad dragon and a bunch of tentacle things - remember Ulduar? those, but Less).

MISTS OF PANDARIA - a.k.a. lets go meet the pandas who have been hiding for millenia and then kill the Orc who wants to end the world (but only for anyone that isn't an Orc just like him... JUST like him).

Lil Prequel here wow first time but Beau spends her time with the Dragonflights, who are now not immortal. I know I didn’t mention that before, but now it’s irrelevant - they’re not immortal now. Most people don’t get that. Or agree with it. But i’m just saying either way they’re Tired after the fight with their bad brother, immortal or not, so this is what she does for a bit.

Garrosh Hellscream, Big Orc Leader of the Horde, decides to bomb Theramore (cute city that did not deserve it). The first time that something like this has ever happened. Pretty much everyone is shocked except for the people who knew about it... which is a few people. Jaina Proudmoore (read: ruler of Theramore and someone you don’t want to piss off) is pissed off; very hurt and distraught by the destruction of her home. Red and Blue are at each other’s throats because of it.

Pandaria is discovered (read: the land covered in the mist?? yeah that one. it has pandas on it... and other things), and Beau travels there with, surprise, the Bronze Dragonflight.

Pandaria is a lot of Personal Growth for Beau, because of the Sha (read: bad emotions made manifest that feed off of people experiencing said negative emotions). she faces a lot of her innermost demons and is forced to conquer them in order to be able to properly help the people of Azeroth. there’ll be a big post on this someday, but for a good portion of the expansion she assists the Pandaren in dealing with the Sha presence.

Isle of Thunder is discovered, and the Throne of Thunder raid happens (tl;dr Lightning Man wants to rule the world; fails). Beau has limited involvement in the former (its primarily dominated by blood elves/reds and the Kirin Tor Offensive/blues), but is involved in the latter.

Then the Horde (specifically, the trolls - big boy troll leader Vol’jin) begins their revolution against their Warchief, Big Bad Orc Garrosh Hellscream. Beau assists with the rebels, as do the Alliance and most of the current Horde. Garrosh unleashes the Sha of Pride (read: worst one) and destroys the nicest place on Pandaria. Everyone is angry.

Siege of Orgrimmar (read: Horde capital city) happens - we kill Big Bad Garrosh’s friends but he somehow evades our kills, because player characters don’t get killing blows in this game until WoD. Vol’jin becomes the Warchief, and him and Varian (read: king of the blues) end the war! No more Alliance vs. Horde! For like two expansions!!!!

Garrosh is put on Trial... and escapes, with a Bronze Dragon (who’s actually an Infinite dragon... who are Bronze dragons that don’t agree with keeping to the destined timeways so they do what they like). they travel back in time, and we have to follow them.

WARLORDS OF DRAENOR - a.k.a. the expansion no one talks about... that ends with a bunch of guys wanting to end the world.

Prelude!!! Garrosh goes back in time, finds his dad, and they make a New Horde (the Iron Horde), and they make the current Dark Portal (read: big demon portal thing) bigger and more red, and plan to invade Azeroth! again! this has happened before!

Iron Horde invade Azeroth - we stop them, but also decide to go through the Portal to the ALTERNATIVE Draenor (read: it was this place called Outland... which is where we were in The Burning Crusade, but before Outland became Outland, it was Draenor. work with me please).

Khadgar (uh... powerful mage; little eccentric; looks old but is actually like 10 yrs older than Beau but got made to look old bc of magic; Father of the Institute for Fallout fans - but nicer than Father is) thinks it’s a good idea to free Gul’dan (green warlock; bad; smelly) because he’s the guy powering the portal. We’ll regret that later, but right now it does stop the Iron Horde from invading Azeroth.

Beau, being a Neutral(tm), spends most of her time with Khadgar in his tower. Assists with liberating Shattrath (read: important light city), helps find and kill Garrosh (but Green Jesus Thrall actually kills him) and also participates in Highmaul (kill a bunch of ogres) and Blackrock Foundry (kill the orc making the weapons for the Iron Horde). Khadgar also starts making a ring of immense power, to give us an edge. He also kills us a few times - accidentally.

The Iron Horde crumbles after killing Blackhand (weapon orc we killed in the Foundry) and Gul’dan (here comes the regret) makes the remaining orcs drink the green goop that comes from a big demon (Garrosh wanted to stop this, but we killed him so...). the orcs turn green just like they are in reality, but now we have to fight Demon Orcs... oh, and Gul’dan summons Archimonde (big demon overlord who’s one of Sargeras’ - leader of the demons - best friends).

Surprise surprise, now we go and kill Archimonde and all of the other people who are now a part of the Burning Legion (Sargeras’ army of demons and other races... but mostly demons). We manage, but Gul’dan is transported to Azeroth by Archimonde and he finds Illidan (uh... there’s no easy way to explain Illidan so we’ll just say he’s a big winged elf-demon man, but a kind of okay one???), who’s trapped in a crystal.

The end of Warlords is that we’re all friends, we have a cool powerful ring, and we’ve killed Archimonde - but... Gul’dan is free, has Illidan, and is going to summon all the demons to Azeroth.

LEGION - a.k.a. the demons, and Sargeras, really really want to end the world.

Prelude: I won’t lie, I honestly forget how we got back to Azeroth after traveling to an alternate timeline. Warlords was a fever dream to most people, but either way we did it... and when we get home there’s green fire everywhere and demons are upon every known orifice of Azeroth.

The whole of Azeroth fight the demons for a bit, because while there’s a lot it’s kind of like “mm, we can handle this actually”

The Battle for Broken Shore happens, and as it turns out we underestimated how many demons were here. Alliance and Horde thought a “small squadron” would suffice... but no. The Literal Entire Legion is here and MORE are coming. Tirion who got the killing blow on Lich King dies. Vol’jin Warchief of the Horde dies. Varian king of the blues dies. It’s a huge mess and everyone has to retreat.

Dalaran (read: a floating magic city) is moved from where it is now (Northrend, and then Karazhan - a tower... we’ll leave it at that) is moved to the Broken Shore and we declare war against the Legion.

Beau is chosen by Tirion to succeed him as Highlord of the Silver Hand (basically, she’s in charge of the paladins and makes sure they eat their vegetables before battle). She gets shiny weapons because of this, that grow in power the more you feed them... not literally, but figuratively. Don’t ask.

We find the Pillars of Creation (read: titan artifacts) to help us fight Sargeras, and along the way we also liberate an ancient city and also push back the Emerald Nightmare (read: uh... corruption of the world? its bad, alright, so we kill it).

Oh, we also kill Gul’dan (and save Illidan!).

...but he’s already summoned his main hoe: Kil’jaeden (read: Archimonde’s best bro), so now we’ve got to go and defeat him too - preferably before he gets to Azeroth.

We take back the Broken Shore and infiltrate the Tomb of Sargeras (which is where the demons are coming from) and because we’ve got all the Pillars of Creation and the cool weapons we’re able to do it. Huzzah!

We do almost nearly die in space but Illidan uses a stone to teleport us to safety, however he also brings a demon-infested planet along with us.

We hate that at first, but Velen (read: the non-corrupted trio of the once Golden Trio: Archimonde, Kil’jaeden and Velen) decides we should end the Legion while we have the advantage, so makes us a little golden dingy spaceship to travel to the demon planet and... well, defeat and destroy the Legion.

We fight on Argus (read: the demon planet) for a long time and invade Antorus, the Burning Throne - the main operating hub for the Legion. We kill everyone there and fight a literal corrupt titan!! twice!! and then with the power of the non-corrupt titans, they’re able to bind Sargeras to his former seat on the pantheon (read: a literal stage with thrones on it, one for each Titan), which does end the reign of the Legion.

...Sargeras is pissed because he REALLY wanted Azeroth to die, so before he’s bound to his chair forever like a big baby he takes his flame sword and stabs Azeroth with it.

...oh this is also a good time to mention that Azeroth is actually alive and a Titan, but like... a not born one yet. Azeroth the planet is an egg for Azeroth, the titan. anyway.

We go back to Azeroth and the planet is bleeding, and Teams Red and Blue go crazy over whatever gunk is oozing out of the wound Sargeras’ sword has left behind. So they start fighting over it. Which brings us to...

BATTLE FOR AZEROTH - a.k.a. blizzard are telling us it’s a Red vs. Blue expansion when really it’ll end up being something like “the old gods want to end the world”.

this is where we are now. Red and Blue have a new leader on each side... and the whole Azerite (the name given to the gunk oozing out of the wound left by Sargeras’ flame sword) thing is pretty much causing each side to declare war. Beau, being neutral, is... worried, to say the least; she still doesn’t have a home of her own and being neutral during a faction war is... Difficult. she’s hoping her status as Highlord will help. her focus is mainly on providing aid to those who need it, and figuring out a way to mend Azeroth’s wounds and stop Her from getting too damaged.

...and that is all I can say, for now.

#long post.#timeline.#mmmmBOP #and this is the short version HAHAHAHAHA

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pepsi-perfect · 6 years

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Amy, Cream, Silver, and Rouge for the Sonic birthday ask thing?

Amy: Do you have any ships?

OH BOY DO I

Sonaze is absolute otp but you know all about that!

I actually like a lot of Sonic ships (metonic, sonighty, sonourge are some). Other than that, I like knouge (I even thought it was canon as a kid, lol), meteezie (probably the rarest thing I ship?), sallicole, shardicole, tailsmo and taiream. This isn’t even my final form..........................I am a shipping slut

Silver: What’s your favourite scene from any of the games?

sorry it is not just one

Any of the cutscenes from CD are just......10/10. Beautifully animated, full of character, and my favourite of Sonic’s designs.

Sonic Mania opening is also just the best

Unleashed HD’s opening is just so fucking BEAUTIFUL JHDSJLFJHjnn

Sonic and Blaze going Super (and Burning but WE ALL KNOW IT’S THE SAME SHIT) in Rush is just. great......... also when they’re parting it looks like THEY’RE ABOUT TO KISS?????????? good

In Black Knight when he says “It was never about chivalry for me” ... we know Sonic likes being in the centre of attention, but it’s important to remember that it’s just a bonus for him, his main reward is simply doing the right thing

Rouge: Are there any odd team-ups you’d like to see in future games? (ex: Silver and Tails, or Knuckles and Blaze)

This may be a cop out coz it’s in the question, but Knuckles and Blaze??? It’s interesting because, while Blaze is her dimension’s Sonic counterpart, her role in relation to Sonic is more like Knuckles. Also, they’re both the “quiet and burdened with great power/duty” types, so I think they would really understand and complement each other.

Also Shadow and Tails, I think Shadow would grow to look at Tails like a little brother but respect him coz he’s smart af and it would just be cute.........

Answer to Cream is under the cut because I have no self restraint, I am sorry for the LONG response...................................

Cream? What’s your favourite Sonic cartoon? Do you have a favourite episode?

OK SO................it’s the OVA which, as a failed two part pilot for an anime, COUNTS. The OVA is the thing that caused me to absolutely love Sonic! I have the following things to say about it because I can never shut up about the OVA (spoiler warning if you haven’t watched it?? it’s on youtube, subbed and dubbed!!):

Sonic’s favourite outfit is fucking amazing and blessed

(imo) the definitive classic Sonic depiction

Smol adorable baby Tails who is actually extremely competent and literally saves Sonic from being killed by Metal

Tails is just as involved in the action as Sonic and Knuckles

Sonic ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES THAT TAILS SAVED HIM

Knuckles’ hat

Knuckles is sometimes used as comic relief without implying he’s an idiot – he’s actually very competent (and a treasure hunter!!) The perfect blend between serious and goofy!

Easily the best animated fight between Metal and Sonic in the whole franchise

(imo) the best depiction of Metal. He ignores Eggman’s orders to destroy the Land of the Sky in favour of beating down Sonic – it’s not about being antagonistic, for him, it’s about being the best

KNUCKLES CALLS HIMSELF SONIC’S BEST FRIEND

Sara is spunky – she may be a damsel in distress, but she doesn’t go down without a fight and bites Metal??

Sara’s design is kickass

OLD MAN OWL...................his mere existence

Knuckles’ hat

Is the only media to link Sonic and Metal, which provides an interesting dynamic between the two – this is the only time Metal accepts that he is not "the superior Sonic," and the only time that Sonic believes that Metal has the potential to be more

TERMINATOR 2 ENDING. IT MAKES ME CRY EVERY TIME

GOD – TIER – SOUNDTRACK

pretty and nostalgic art style

Off colour humour (I’m pretty childish LMAO)

Knuckles’ hat

The original voice actors are amazing and suit their roles really well, while the English dub is a FUCKING GOLDMINE for hilarious dialogue.....you can’t go wrong either way.

Black Eggman shoots goop out of his ass as an attack, I can’t fucking make this shit up

That scene where Sonic supposedly sticks up his middle finger – it’s basically an urban legend, but god fucking damn it I choose to believe he is flipping the bird

Thank you for asking and thank you even more if you actually read all this 😂😂

#trashical-girl #holy shit this was stupidly long i am sorry #answered

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dabibliophile · 7 years

Text

Are KO and TKO really the same person?

Is TKO a part of KO’s subconscious/a manifestation of his anger through anime rules/etc., or is he a separate entity in a Naruto/Ninetails type situation? We don’t have a lot of solid information yet, but what the characters say about him offers clues.

First up: Shadowy Figure

He clearly knows the most about TKO/the ominous purple goop. Here’s what he had to say to KO about it in his debut episode:

“I see something in you that no one else sees… the great power that already courses through your veins. Locked up tight within you is more strength than all of your little friends combined.”

“The secret to unlocking your true power is your anger.”

“[The goop] is your anger, the key to your power.”

“Everyone holds you back because they’re afraid of your raw, natural ability. They want you… blissfully unaware of your true potential.”

“Make [your anger] stronger! Strong enough to unleash your true power!”

“It’s time for your friends to see how powerful you’ve always been.”

In all but the first quote, Shadowy Figure uses terms like “your power” and “your potential” to make it seem like the goop is naturally a part of KO, like Rad having telekinesis or Potato being an anthropomorphic rabbit. SF is obviously manipulating KO with his “mentor” angle, but he could also be manipulating him by choosing his words carefully to influence KO’s perception of the goop. He’s way more transparent in “Let’s Have a Stakeout!”, where he’s dropped the mentor act and is straight-up hostile towards KO, which is reflected in both the beatdown and his wording.

“I could have never gotten through that pesky door without that… power of yours.” At face value, SF is referring to KO’s power fist, which he pulled off without any apparent help from the goop, but let’s be real here. That specific phrasing would definitely remind KO of his Plaza-destroying tantrum. Not to mention that claiming it’s KO’s fault he got in there is a blatant lie. A distraught six-to-eleven-year-old child might not be able to see through it, but we the viewers can. SF is saying he couldn’t open the door himself, but was able to easily trounce the kid who could? Bull. It’s absurdly easy to get weapons in this universe, SF could have dug around in the junkyard at the back of the Bodega for five minutes and found some leftover Boxmore part with a laser or saw or something to open the door. He’s just saying it’s KO’s fault to get him to bust out TKO again.

“You can’t even begin to comprehend the incredible power that lies within.” It sounds like SF is talking about the glorbs here, but his actions say otherwise. He didn’t make much of an effort to collect them, and wasn’t upset when he had to leave them behind. He even said “my work here is done” while falling into that pit, meaning the glorb objective was simply a cover for what he’s really after- the “incredible power” that is the purple goop. To make matters worse, both KO and Mr. Gar bought the fake glorb motive, which will throw them off when they try to stop SF.

“You’re pathetic and your only saving grace is the delicious dormant power that courses through your veins.” The creepiness of this line (“Delicious”? Seriously?) and his angry tone make it stand out from the “ohohoho I’m a cool suave mastermind who has everything going according to keikaku” attitude he had previously. This contrast suggests the line is significant, especially since it’s the second time SF hasn’t referred to the power as inherent to KO.

After our near miss with TKO, SF is ticked that he can’t access the power (as opposed to him not caring when he loses the glorbs) and says “That won’t do at all. We can’t have you ruining all of my hard work.” Stalking a child for a bit, giving a little speech about anger, climbing onto a roof, being a dweeb on camera for a few nights, traipsing through the sewers, and beating up a child doesn’t really add up to “hard work”. This suggests SF has put more effort into getting his hands on this power than we’ve seen onscreen so far. How does he know about this power? Was he involved in its creation or discovery? Did he seal this power inside KO? If so, why would he do that? If not, then who or what did? Since the “mentor” option is out the window, how does he plan on getting, controlling, and using it? As of right now, we don’t have an answer that’s more specific than “evil stuff” and it’s driving me crazy.

SF’s apparent insider knowledge gives us most of our information, but looking at what other characters don’t know about the situation can also help us.

Carol, KO’s own mother, didn’t seem to recognize Shadowy Figure from his card, or find TKO’s power set familiar. Most people can’t convincingly lie or conceal info under stress. While such a skill could be useful in her former superhero job, it begs the question: why would she conceal this information? At this point, KO being in the dark about this power is a danger to both himself and others, so either Carol has an extremely good reason for keeping it under wraps, or she’s just as clueless as everyone else. This possibility makes the whole situation even more scary for KO- his warm, loving, powerful mother can theoretically protect him from creeps in capes, but can’t protect him (or anyone else) from himself.

KO seems to have the most experience with TKO/the goop after SF since he’s probably been Traumatized by all of this, but his “knowledge” is all impressions and guesswork rather than the facts SF presumably has. In “Face Your Fears”, his reasoning that you need a powerful villain to defeat a powerful hero is what makes him summon our first look at the goop. We don’t see KO’s previous playthroughs of the fear game (though a flashback of something other than that darn sandwich would be nice), but it’s clear he views it as evil. His statement that “It came from inside [him]” as opposed to something like “It’s my shadow self” suggests that, KO-shaped as it was, he still saw it as a separate thing.

After he cools down in “TKO”, KO describes the titular character as a “kid who looked just like [him].” Once again, he considers TKO/the goop a separate entity, though this could just be a way of emotionally distancing himself from the destruction he caused.

In “Let’s Have a Stakeout!” KO states Shadowy Figure “tricked [him] into unleashing TKO and making [him] so mad that [he] wrecked the Plaza". It still sounds like he considers TKO separate, but he also holds himself responsible for the Plaza’s destruction. That’s good if TKO is a part of him since it reduces the chance of blowups in the future, but if they’re separate then he’d be blaming himself for someone else’s actions.

TKO calls KO a “faker” during their fight, so even he seems to consider them as separate entities.

Finally, (and maybe I’m just a sap here) TKO’s “any last words?” to Carol make me want to think he’s a separate entity because we’ve seen KO have nothing but positive interactions with his mom. Even in Evil Tantrum Mode™ I don’t think he’d attempt to murder her.

Let’s set theories aside for a moment and assume that TKO is a separate entity from KO like Naruto/Ninetails. If that’s the case, how would he benefit from pretending to be KO to the point of resembling him in the mindscape? Having KO as his host is a good strategy. If KO thinks TKO is a part of him, then trying to get rid of him is futile. But if KO thinks of TKO as separate from him, then he can theoretically be removed or destroyed. TKO’s assertion that KO needs him cements this. For one reason or another, he does not want to be separated from KO. If TKO can get everyone to think he and KO are one and the same, then the only way to kill him would be to kill KO too, and anyone who tries that is going to get their ass kicked by everyone in the Plaza.

Shadowy Figure’s wording suggests he also believes they are separate, while wanting everyone else to think otherwise. It’s highly doubtful he’s got altruistic leanings, so the “hard work” he’s put into the situation must benefit him somehow. As it stands, he got KO (and the goop) alone with him twice, one of those times being after KO recognized him as a serious threat. He might even know where KO lives at this point. Right now he theoretically has easy access to the goop. If it’s destroyed then his plans for it go kaput, if it’s removed it’s going somewhere more difficult to access, which makes getting it harder for him. Trying to get KO to keep the goop inside of him makes his job much easier.

Heck, let’s go for the amnesia plot and say even TKO thinks he’s KO. If he thinks he’s KO then he’s not about to leave KO’s body to take on a hypothetical “true form”, because he thinks it’s his body. It’s a lot harder to take over the world when you think you’re a six-to-eleven-year-old boy instead of, say, some ancient malevolent power that once trashed Konoha village. What’s an edgy anime rival without an identity crisis?

TLDR: KO might be straight-up posessed.

I welcome any additions/corrections/questions/etc!

#ok ko let's be heroes #ok ko #ko #tko #shadowy figure #ok ko carol #ok ko theory

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itshaejinju · 7 years

Text

Jin’s 7 Levels of FF15 Hell

Okay so 7 levels of this Hell but I can’t help myself when it comes to a pretty face and some other choice quality assets.

So @blindbae and @cupnoodle-queen (anyone else do this?) described their adventures in the FF15 Hell well I decided it was time to do it for myself.

Let’s get marching into hell the Hells I live in, darling.

Gladiolus: I live here, my mail comes here. I will always be in a permanent fixture in this hell. I have been a fan girl of Gladiolus since Versus 13 trailers and I was like who is this tank of a man, what’s his story - what’s his number? See his new look on the FF15 promo shit and I’m like, fuck I’m dead. I won’t survive this game. All versions of him just get my attention, like Versus, Brotherhood and the game, slays me. Play the game and I see:

And well, “awesome fan service thanks Square.”

Slowly as we start more into the game I’m just constantly drawn into his appearance, mannerisms (THE CUTEST DORKIEST SNEEZES EVER, reading and overall dorkiness) personality and power house skills just had me on the floor. The fuckin’ cup noodle quest happened after a really shitty day and I laughed the whole time about his over enthused ways about “Ultimate Flavor” and it really made me feel better. Sure his outrage to Noctis on the train and other spots had me yelling at the screen at him, telling him to stop yelling the “Emo Marshmallow” because well Noctis is trying. But I also see Gladiolus’ side of the story as I have been in a similar type of scenario so I felt with both sides. I always wished that instead of the Giglamesh Trials he went to have a funeral father and mourn their death and take a fuckin’ spa day or something.

He is the main reason for my thirst all day everyday, I can’t help myself, I tried and then was like “FUCK it.” So I embrace all of it.

In the fanfics and HC: I love Teddy Bear Gladiolus, rough Gladiolus and all the stuff in between. I love that he’s totally headcanoned to have a cock to rule all cocks. And totally a pervert with a lot of sexual desires. Fills my blackened sinnamon roll heart to the brim. (with cum) That he’s kind, patient (sometimes) and all the things I just enjoy in life.

Blind!Ignis: I visit here on the weekends, always smells like fresh coffee and french toast. It’s like a nice hotel.

At first I was like, “Who is this boy? Who is the mom friend of this group? Was like okay he’s model pretty, good with the daggers and funny with puns. Totally see him as a friend. Slowly he started to grow more than that and making me want to spray him with water to get him away from me.

I was like I can’t handle two hells! Just no please go! *sprays Ignis with a water bottle, hair goes flat around his face, clothes stuck to his body* FUCK YOU LOOK HOTTER. GO!!

Then shit goes down and he gets blinded. *UGLY SOBBING* *A LOT OF UGLY SOBBING* And I was like:

I love that he has zero fucks to give afterwards. He isn’t crying because he can’t see, he’s like “FUCKERS I HAVE A JOB TO DO LET’S GO!” And well that strikes me as sexy as fuck, like instead of breaking down and “woe is me” he soldiers on. It’s not like not blind Ignis is a pansy but it just made it clear to me that once he goes blind he is a strong and fantastic character. So I’m like “well let’s enjoy a cup of ebony any day of the week.”

I fell out of Blind!Ignis hell after playing the game but I visited often as a guilty pleasure. Then the damn Episode Ignis Trailer came out and well I jumped right back in.

And I’ve fully accepted Blind!Ignis hell specially paired with Gladiolus as the fatal GladNis. It really is a nice specially pairing that I enjoy being apart of. GladJuNis

Ravus: I vacation here, it’s so angsty, but cuddly awkward and I love it.

GOD DAMN. He was my guilty pleasure from the second I saw him in Kingsglaive. I didn’t like his character design in Kingsglaive but the voice and the personality was like “OH hello, darling!” So I was like hmm, I bet he will be in the game and I get to deal with him more. *Insert evil cackling*

When he saunters into the game I dropped my controller on the floor and needed to pick up my jaw from the floor. It was a instant panty killer.

I was like he’s a bad guy don’t love him. . .NO LOVE HIM TONS.

So I guilty pleasure loved him, “OH he’s horrid, bad guy!” *OH god can he pin me to the wall with that Magitek arm, PLEASE!?!*

It wasn’t until Tumblr did I fully unleash my love for him and admitted full love to him. In which I gush about him a lot with @stephicness

In the game where you had to kill him I screamed at the television at 2 am, “NO!” I tried my best not to kill him, like was there a way around it not to kill him?! When I realized I had to kill the poor beanpole I started to cry, I was like “I’ll make it quick and clean sweetheart!”

*Insert more ugly sobbing, and damning Square on attacking my feels*

He totally appeals to my tsundere love, the misunderstood character of the story! He was just trying to take care of his sister, sacrificing all he had left for her! Totally has me just wishing things went better for him, he deserved so much better!!!

I have such a strong desire for a steamy jealous fuck fic for him to be written, I just haven’t figured out how to word it right on his parts. But it will be arriving one day soon. *rubs palms together*

Cor: Visit every other weekend. It’s a nice comforting Hell, this are always in order and Cor is vigilant over his residents.

MOOSH’S husband. @themissimmortal Literally my tags say #cor x moosh that comes up whenever I type “cor”.

I didn’t join Cor hell until I met Moosh and read her smuts for him and when I did anons for her and wrote a few fics with him in it for her. I was like hey he’s quite nice, I could get comfy here. I like the idea of shy in front of his girl (moosh) but the fiery passions that embroil his soul releases as he let’s go and loves up on her. Totally a good thing in my book.

Ardyn: THIS FUCKER......

NEW resident of Ardyn Hell.

Just got passed the first wall of tentacles and goop and I’m like okay. . .what am I doing here?

THAT SMUG SMILE.

THAT VOICE.

THAT HAIR.

And aggressive fucking, tentacles and mind play smuts that I’ve been graced with that hits on my deeper kinks made me a prime target. I resisted for quite a while.

Then well I fell into it fully and I’m accepting it as my alternate vacation home. All thanks to @diabolik-trash-heap @valkyrieofardyn and @poisonous-panda

I really enjoy Ravus x Ardyn stuff it is a good toxic pairing for me. I will always keep up with insulting Ardyn and calling him Trash Man and such in hopes that he will have angry sex with me.

Sure those tentacles could do some domestic tasks too! Imagine Ardyn multi tasking with them making you breakfast? Pretty sexy.

Aranea: I’m moving around there like a cat that doesn’t know what side of the door she wants to be on.

MY DRAGOON WIFEY!

She floated on my screen (and my heart) like freaking Mary Poppins. Totally was like, damn, who the fuck is this lady? That hair, voice, eyes, slaying body can we have her on our team?!

PLEASE STEP ON ME.

*high heeled boots stepping on my ass*

Then let me step on you and we can fight back and forth on who is dominant in this situation.

I love her and all her quirks and morals. It makes my day to see her be badass on screen. I want a Episode Aranea bad. Let me learn more about her history!!

Older!Noctis: Hand is on the door, going hmmm, should I?

Regular Edge Lord Noctis appeals to me as much as Cloud Strife, so it’s like yup you’re sexy and all but *wishy washy whiny noises*.

THEN THE CRYSTAL SHIT.

*FLATLINES*

I was like oh hello Noctis, what are you doing later after you take a shower, eat and brush those teeth?

Because call a girl up why don’t you?

He looks a lot more like his dad, the wispy beard going on that hair all long and he is like “I’M READY FOR THIS SHIT!”

FINALLY! *ticker tape parade for Noctis right to my pussy heart*

It’s a hell that I flirt with a lot and when I come across a good King!Noctis fic I’m like . . .there is the door and I have he key. (It’s in the shape of the Royal Boner) But I go “really? Jin should you do this?”

So it’s like I’m almost there. I’m pretty sure @hypaalicious or @cupnoodle-queen or @louisvuittontrashbags will be coming out with some King Noctis smut that will just sell me totally, lock stock and barrel on the Older Noctis stuff. Or @blindbae to write some epic angsty stuff with Older Noctis that sits on my ass, and shake my head in shock. And officially join the 7th layer of my FF15 Hell.

Tagging: @themissimmortal @stephicness @stunninglyignis @blindbae @rubyphilomela @neko-otaku13 @zacklover24 @hypaalicious @louisvuittontrashbags @diabolik-trash-heap @diadyn @mandakatt @mistressoli @sheylann @xnoctits @insomniascure @insomniacapples @fieryfantasy @roses-and-oceans @valkyrieofardyn @highwinds-dragoon @blondechocobobutt @waifuthewhite

#extra ass shit #crazy thirsty jin thoughts #ff15 #7 layers of hell #gladiolus amicitia #blind Ignis #ignis scientia #older noctis #cor leonis #ravus nox fleuret #ravus deserved better #cor x moosh #aranea highwind #ardyn izunia

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