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tweetsongs · 1 year

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Transmigrating into the Reborn Male Lead’s Ex-Boyfriend Chapter 155 (End)

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last chapter! i hope this helped someone out there get closure for this book. it's a silly little thing, but i'm glad i got to know how these two turned out.

In the end, the doctor’s assessments were around an hour slower than the system’s. But their assessments held a similar pessimism regarding the viability of Xiao Yuanmu’s treatment when they spoke to Song Xuanhe.

As the head of the clinic, Xiao Yuanmu wasn’t wasn’t allowed to hear his own prognosis. It didn’t actually matter, as even without hearing it, he knew very well what the state of his body was.

He swept his eyes past the downcast expressions on his doctors’ faces, eyes only wavering when they fell on Song Xuanhe. He waved a hand to have the doctors leave the room, and broke the heavy air that had surrounded them when he had told Song Xuanhe to return to his world.

He said: “I want to go back to China.”

Song Xuanhe’s focus had always been on Xiao Yuanmu. When he spoke, he thought about it and then said: “Okay.”

He knew Xiao Yuanmu, knew that he wasn’t the kind of person who sat around waiting for death. Whatever this person did, he was the kind of person to do it without flaw. From the time that he went back to China for his assessment, to bringing everyone he trusted to his side without stirring up suspicions, to even now, he kept the fact of his condition so tightly wrapped that it was impossible to leak.

If Xiao Yuanmu was giving up on treatment, it could only be said that he knew the limits of his own body. The treatments available with modern medicine couldn’t give him a cure, at most, it could only bring him some relief, nothing more.

Even that relief was barely possible now.

Song Xuanhe felt like his heart was being crushed, heavy and painful. It was hard to even breathe, but he was somehow able to keep his cool.

Maybe it was because Xiao Yuanmu was the protagonist of this world, or because the system was so advanced in technology. But even now, with overwhelming worry surrounding him, he still didn’t feel scared.

More than that, he even felt some strange sort of confidence. He thought that Xiao Yuanmu would definitely not die.

If the system knew what his thoughts were, it might mock him for his superstitious ideas. But right now the system was busy searching for the reason that Xiao Yuanmu was breaking down, it had no time to look through Song Xuanhe’s thoughts.

Seeing how quickly Song Xuanhe agreed, Xiao Yuanmu looked slightly surprised. He thought that Song Xuanhe would try to stop him.

“Once you’ve rested properly, we’ll leave,” Song Xuanhe said.

“I’ve already gotten Yang Jie to book us a flight, I can rest on the flight.” Xiao Yuanmu said.

Until the flight, the two had a tacit understanding not to bring up whether or not Song Xuanhe would return to his original world after three days.

The flight would take around eleven hours. The moment they boarded the flight, Song Xuanhe pulled Xiao Yuanmu into the bedroom. The two of them laid side by side in a cot, listening to the sound of the plane taking off, neither speaking a word.

Time passed like this, seconds into minutes. Xiao Yuanmu finally couldn’t resist the exhaustion in his body and closed his eyes.

Hearing the soft breathing by his side, Song Xuanhe slowly moved his hand, gently taking Xiao Yuanmu’s cool hand into his.

In his memories, Xiao Yuanmu’s hand and his icy personality were always different, his hand was always warm and dry. Now, though, his hand carried a faint chill, and was slightly damp. It made Song Xuanhe’s heart clench.

He couldn’t resist asking the system: [Have you found a way to treat Xiao Yuanmu yet?]

The system took a moment to reply: [No, his organ failure isn’t normal. It’s not because of any disease, and it’s impossible to find the source of the failure. Also, I can’t figure it out- Xiao Yuanmu is the protagonist of this world, his body shouldn’t be failing like this. If I had to guess, I would wonder if this is perhaps the result of some previous plotline.]

Song Xuanhe’s brows furrowed. [Xiao Baicong’s kidnapping?]

[Yes,] the system replied. [This world was made from an author’s time online, and revolves around the plot and circumstances they created. Because the author never finished the book, the plot that the world is controlled by can only go up to that point. If there aren’t any mishaps, the plot of the book should only finish after two years. Xiao Yuanmu should still be the protagonist in that time, so nothing should be able to happen to his body in the meantime.]

[But the plot of the book has ended now,] Song Xuanhe’s expression suddenly changed as he continued to speak to the system. [Xiao Yuanmu is no longer the protagonist of this world.]

[...Yes.]

Seeing Song Xuanhe’s face, the system didn’t continue, letting him have some time to digest this.

It didn’t take him long to speak again: [If Xiao Yuanmu isn’t the protagonist of this world, what will happen to him?]

The system said: [You already know.]

Song Xuanhe did already know, but he couldn’t help but act like a spoilt young master again, hoping that the system would give him an answer that still carried some hope.

[Will he really die?] Song Xuanhe found it difficult to speak.

The system fell silent, then avoided his question: [You still have sixty-nine hours to think about it. You said before that you had a reason you had to go back. Since it’s a necessary reason, I hope that you think about it properly.]

[Is that your answer for me, then?]

The system didn’t answer, and Song Xuanhe fell silent as well.

In this silence, he felt in the bottom of his heart a drop of despair begin to spread.

Before this, he had always thought that Xiao Yuanmu’s protagonist halo would help protect him. No matter how difficult the situation was, he never thought that it would turn that severe, since the world would always force things back on track. This time, since the world’s protagonist had an issue, the world would of course step in to save him.

But the system told him that Xiao Yuanmu was not the protagonist of this world anymore.

Now he was just like any other of the infinite beings on this planet, the world no longer cares whether he lives or dies. The world will treat him like any other being, allowing him to pass through the cycle youth, old age, illness, and death without care as if he were a being no more remarkable than dust, no more individual than an ant.

[Xiao Yuanmu is awake.]

The system’s voice pulled Song Xuanhe out of his own mind. His eyelashes shook for a moment as he pulled out his cell phone. The plane had entered the Chinese border, and the time zone had switched to this timezone as well. It was 10:50PM, and after half an hour they would be landing.

Song Xuanhe’s eyes were on his phone, his mind unable to untangle the mess of thoughts within. He hadn’t decided what to do yet.

Xiao Yuanmu grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him downwards, his lips turning upwards to fill them. He easily opened Song Xuanhe’s jaw, pressing into his mouth to make his claim. He alternated between passion and sweetness, leaving no corner of his mouth unexplored.

“Good morning.” Xiao Yuanmu let go of him, the corner of his lip turning upwards, a soft smile on his face.

Song Xuanhe looked at him dazedly, expression open as if everything were normal. After a pause, he replied: “It’s not morning right now, but. Good morning.”

He bit at Xiao Yuanmu’s lips again before speaking: “We’ll be landing soon. Put on your seatbelt.”

Xiao Yuanmu thought about how meticulous Song Xuanhe was about checking their seatbelts every time they drove and laughed a little, fastening his own seatbelt.

The plane landed steadily. Because it was already late, they didn’t contact anyone else, and directly went back to their previous residence.

Even though nobody had lived there in some time, there were still people who came over every few days to clean and lock up. When they returned, all they needed to do was change the sheets and they could go to sleep.

It was Song Xuanhe’s first time changing a duvet, and he stared at the zipper of the duvet cover for a long time before finally carefully replacing it, focusing with single-minded intent on the task.

Xiao Yuanmu watched him from the door, lips curling unconsciously into a smile.

“Let me.”

Xiao Yuanmu walked up to Song Xuanhe’s side and took the duvet from his hand. While tidying out the duvet that was being messily stuffed into the cover, he also taught Song Xuanhe: “You have to air out the duvet first, and then make sure that the four corners-”

Song Xuanhe listened to him intently, seeing how Xiao Yuanmu managed to neatly make the duvet in under half a minute.

Comparing the two of them felt embarrassing.

“This was my first try, wait ‘till I’ve practiced a bit more.” He said stubbornly. “Then we can have a duvet-stuffing contest, and whoever loses will have to listen to whatever the winner says.”

Xiao Yuanmu laughed and asked: “How much time do you need to practice before this contest?”

“At least three to five years, otherwise it’s unfair...” After he spoke, Song Xuanhe fell silent. Xiao Yuanmu’s smile dimmed a bit.

Looking at Xiao Yuanmu’s darkening eyes, he said: “Xiao Yuanmu, you will definitely be okay. Believe in me.”

Xiao Yuanmu lifted his eyes to meet his, curling his shaking hand into a fist. He made a soft sound of agreement.

“Well, now that the sheets are done being changed, we can go to bed,” Song Xuanhe said. “Or are you not tired anymore after sleeping for too long on our flight?”

“Let’s go to sleep,” Xiao Yuanmu changed into his pajamas and said. “I want to watch you sleep.”

Song Xuanhe suddenly walked forwards until he hit Xiao Yuanmu, beginning to peel open his pajamas. “Since you’re not tired, why don’t we do something else instead?”

For the next two days, Xiao Yuanmu and Song Xuanhe had congee together and went to visit the orphanage, went to visit the Song household to visit Li Nianan, visited Song Xuanlin, called up Xiao Shenglin and the others for a gathering, took the orphanage children to the playground together...

Time passed quickly, until it was down to the final three hours before Song Xuanhe had to make his decision about whether or not to return to his world. Up until then, the system still hadn’t given him any information on how to treat Xiao Yuanmu.

Xiao Yuanmu had long since given up, but Song Xuanhe refused to.

Until the system said to him: [I know why Xiao Yuanmu’s body is breaking down.]

[Xiao Yuanmu’s physical breakdown is not because of something happening to his body, it’s an issue with his soul...] the system said. [He said before that he had already been reborn twice. Maybe it’s this that wore down his soul, making it begin to break down. As his soul breaks down, so will his body. There’s virtually no way of stopping it.]

Song Xuanhe lifted his head to look outside at the night sky, bright with stars. With no change in expression, he asked: [You said ‘virtually’. That means that there’s still hope, right?]

[Yes, the soul-replenishment elixir,] the system said. [From the System Miracle Store. If you choose to stay here, you can get it in exchange.]

Song Xuanhe’s eyes lit up, and he began to speak when the system cut him off. [However, the things from the System Miracle Store only work for you.]

[What do you mean?]

[The soul-replenishment elixir can only be given to you.]

Song Xuanhe’s eyes dimmed a little. The hope that he had been using all his might to hold onto these past few days began to break down, and he felt frustration and exhaustion well up in his heart. [Then what use is it?]

[You’re the system, it’s your store, isn’t there a way to bring the elixir out?] Song Xuanhe asked. [I still have two opportunities to ask for help, and a rebirth pass. If I give them all to you, can you give the soul-replenishment elixir to Xiao Yuanmu?]

[I can’t...] the system said. [I exist in your mind, I can only make exchanges with you. Those are the rules.]

Song Xuanhe fell silent for a few seconds, then his eyes lit up again. [You said before that you’ve crossed hosts before, right? That means you can enter someone else’s body. You can enter Xiao Yuanmu’s body and give him the elixir, right?]

[In theory, that’s right.] the system said. [But I can only enter someone’s body when I have a mission order. That would be against system regulations. Also, while I’m still bound to you, I can’t leave your body for someone else.]

[But after you and I unbind...]

After beginning to speak, Song Xuanhe stopped himself. The system had told him before what the consequences of breaking system regulations were. All beings had a fear of being annihilated. Just because it was a system, it wasn’t as if he could tell it to sacrifice itself to save Xiao Yuanmu.

[I saw a life conversion device in the System Miracle Store, what is that?]

The system didn’t want to answer, but felt compelled to. [It allows one person to extract their life force and give it to another person. But there are serious side effects. The person extracting their life force will feel extreme pain from the exchange process’ effects on their soul, and afterwards their body will also be much weaker.]

[If I gave my life force to Xiao Yuanmu, will he be able to live?]

The system was silent for a long moment. [Yes.]

[I will exchange for the life conversion device.] A smile floated onto Song Xuanhe’s face, and he said confidently: [Once my time in this world is over, let me exchange for it.]

The system didn’t answer, but Song Xuanhe took his silence as a tacit agreement.

He turned his smiling face to look at Xiao Yuanhe. When he saw the other’s sleeping face, his smile dimmed for a moment. He reached out and cupped his forehead gently, smile growing deeper.

He knew that there would be a way to save Xiao Yuanmu.

Xiao Yuanmu’s sleep was very light. When Song Xuanhe’s hand touched him, he woke up.

He was lying on Song Xuanhe’s leg, and his eyes met a smiling expression that seemed to suddenly be relieved of a heavy burden. An idea began to rise from the bottom of his heart against better reason, though he found it hard to believe.

“You’re awake?” Song Xuanhe quickly noticed Xiao Yuanmu waking up. He lowered his head and said: “Do you want to sleep a little more?”

“It’s fine,” Xiao Yuanmu sat up, looking at his watch. “I’ll sleep after you leave.”

Song Xuanhe raised an eyebrow. “Then I’m afraid you’ll be waiting a long time before you sleep again.”

Xiao Yuanmu’s face was calm as he spoke: “You promised me before that you’d return to your own world.”

Song Xuanhe blinked, lips tugging upwards. “But that was on the premise that there was no saving you.”

Xiao Yuanmu paused, unable to hide the astonishment on his face. Looking at Song Xuanhe, he couldn’t bring himself to ask the question.

“You can be saved,” Song Xuanhe had never seen such clear astonishment on Xiao Yuanmu’s face before, and he couldn’t help laughing out loud at the sight. He reached a hand out to his shoulder, pulling him in by the back of his neck into an embrace as he said: “I told you there was a way to save you, so I will save you.”

“How?” Xiao Yuanmu lowered his hand, pushed down his astonishment until his face was calm again.

“My system found a way,” Song Xuanhe said. “If I stay in this world, I can make a trade for an item in the system store. Before, I couldn’t see what was in the store, but this morning I saw something-”

Song Xuanhe tried to dramatize the climax of his story, but Xiao Yuanmu’s face wasn’t impressed at all, only grew colder.

“The soul-replenishment elixir,” Song Xuanhe said, clicking his tongue. “Your organ failure was because of damage to your soul, and the damage to your soul was because of your rebirths. That’s why the doctors in this world weren’t able to cure it. But with the soul-replenishment elixir, we can fix the damage that your rebirths did to your soul.”

Xiao Yuanmu’s pupils shook. He was usually quick to react, but this time he couldn’t get his mind around what was being said. Song Xuanhe’s words were simple and easy to understand, but he found it difficult to believe him. He had already convinced himself so thoroughly of his inevitable future, and yet that inevitability was being shattered so easily.

“What’s the price you need to pay?”

Song Xuanhe pursed his lips, seeing the way that Xiao Yuanmu tensed nervously on top of him, and couldn’t help but let out a giggle. He said: “Before, I haggled three opportunities to ask for help out of the system, but I only used one. The soul-replenishment elixir is in exchange for me not returning to my world, and the other two opportunities for help. If we don’t count me not returning to my world, it barely costs anything.”

Song Xuanhe had always been good at scamming people. Xiao Yuanmu knew this, but he still was never able to find his true intentions from his eyes. It was the same this time, he couldn’t tell if Song Xuanhe was lying or not.

He wanted to believe it was true, he wanted so badly to selfishly be with Song Xuanhe for more days, more weeks. Even a few more hours would be enough.

But if it wasn’t true, then the consequences would be that Song Xuanhe would be trapped forever in a world that he had said he didn’t feel like he belonged in.

He couldn’t do that to him.

“You don’t believe me?” Song Xuanhe’s brows knitted together.

Xiao Yuanmu’s lips shook, then he said: “I’m just scared.”

“I’m afraid of you loving me more,” he pulled him into an embrace. “Afraid that you’ll be alone afterwards.”

Song Xuanhe’s eyes looked blank for a moment, then turned red. His throat moved, then he pushed Xiao Yuanmu away to say: “It’s going to be time soon. You’ll be able to know soon. We don’t just have these few moments. We still have days, months, years.”

“Z48,” Song Xuanhe laughed, and then spoke: “I have to thank you for taking care of me for all this time. I haven’t said it before, but I’m glad I met you. I’m also glad that you took me to this world. Even though we’ll be saying goodbye now, I’ll definitely remember you. Let’s do this.”

Xiao Yuanmu’s body was one long line of tension, staring at Song Xuanhe. It didn’t seem like anything was happening to Song Xuanhe, but he could feel his weak body beginning to feel a little stronger, his shaking limbs becoming steady again, his fuzzy mind clearing slightly, the pain in his body beginning to lift...

Not three minutes later, he could feel that his body was healthy again. And Song Xuanhe was still beside him.

He couldn’t believe it, it was actually true.

He grabbed Song Xuanhe’s hand, his clear voice becoming hoarse as an uncharacteristic quiver entered his voice: “You’re still here.”

Song Xuanhe’s eyes turned up. “Of course I’m still here.”

As he spoke, his face stilled as he felt something move in his mind, he immediately recognized that it was something moving out of his consciousness at last. He quickly said in his mind: [Thank you, Z48.]

[No thanks necessary,] the system’s voice had a smile in it. Its presence being removed from his mind felt weaker. [Goodbye.]

Song Xuanhe paused, said: [Don’t you need to extract my life force?]

He hadn’t felt any sort of pain up until now, and couldn’t feel his body becoming weaker. Actually, apart from the feeling of the system leaving his mind, he couldn’t feel much of anything at all.

[It’s already been extracted,] Maybe it was because of the extraction process, but the system’s voice became weaker and weaker. [I haven’t said it yet, but meeting you was the happiest thing to happen to me. My greatest wish is for you to be happy. In the future, you have to be happy, and brave...]

The system didn’t finish its words before dissipating. Song Xuanhe blinked and lifted his gaze to the stars outside. A gap he had always felt in his heart was gently being filled.

“I love you.”

Xiao Yuanmu pulled him closer, covering his lips. His eyes were full of love, and a happiness that he would never get sick of.

Song Xuanhe pulled himself back, heart full of relief and joy. He tilted Xiao Yuanmu’s jaw up, bringing himself into the moment. “I love you too.”

In the sky, a softly shining star lit up for a moment, then gently became lost in a sea of constellations.

#Transmigrating into the Reborn Male Lead’s Ex-Boyfriend #RMLE #RMLE chapter 155 #TN:#ngl this ending felt...a bit rushed #there were a ton of bits i really liked and a lot of phrases that made me இ௰இ #but lowkey i wish sxh had been forced to give up some of his life...the DRAMA. the TRAGEDY #i am happy abt the deus ex machina tho #i did NOT start a fun transmigration romp to get hit w MCD in the last chapter #DID the system die tho...system for mvp. absolute king #anyways hope everyone enjoyed baby's first translation project!#i'm glad i picked smth...not xianxia lol #will i do more? eh. if smth catches my interest #i have too many jjwxc points now so #fyi im not rly planning on translating the extras #unless they're abt xym and sxh #simply bc im the kind that gets attached to the main couple #so if they're abt other characters ill prolly just be like #congrats or sorry i guess #anyways hope everyone enjoyed these boys and their drama!!

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frecklystars · 5 months

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Hi frecklydork!! I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you- I just got out of a convo w/ a therapist where I realized I was in a really bad relationship and she mentioned I was displaying PTSD like symptoms. I just wanted you to know that theres someone out there who's super super super DUPER proud of you and all the work you've put into managing your PTSD- Feeling constant overwhelming anxiety helped me understand a little of what you must be going through, I can't imagine how stressful your day to day life is and I'm feeling overwhelmed rn! I hope you can take some comfort in this

Goodnight! Or Good day, or good morning whenever you get this!

Hi sweetheart. I'm so sorry to hear that you have gone through a relationship so devastating that it left this much of an impact on you. My heart goes out to you, it's not fun, to say the least, it is a really horrible time and it's especially difficult (in my opinion) when it's repetitive actions from someone you trusted... it's like an extra layer of betrayal on top of everything else. I'm so sorry. I know how badly that hurts.

My response is kind of long so I'm gonna put it under a readmore for ya:

I am so touched that you thought of me, and even more touched that you took the time out of your day to tell me that you thought of me. I hope you don't mind it took me a few days to finally crack open my inbox. I reread this a few times because it really warmed my heart. Thank you for being proud of me. I'm so proud of you, too. I'm so happy you've (I'm assuming, hoping, praying) gotten out of the relationship, or in the very least I'm reassured that you've realized how unhealthy the relationship was for you and you can take the steps to overcome and heal from it now. It's SO HARD getting out of relationships, but nobody else can do it for you, it's always you who has to take those steps, and I'm so proud of you for pushing yourself to take those steps!!!! I know it isn't easy!!!!! I think one of the loneliest feelings in the world is knowing that you're in an unhealthy friendship/relationship with someone and you can literally feel this person draining your energy and making you feel hopeless and worthless and numb. I have never felt more empty than when I was trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship/friendship. It's awful. Getting out of that kind of situation is so difficult, so I am so damn proud of you for recognizing that you deserve better!!! Because you do!!! You deserve the whole world and I'm sorry somebody didn't give you the respect you deserved. It's not your fault. Nothing you went through is your fault at all, and I'll say that as many times as you want to hear it.

I completely hear you on the stress side of things -- thank you for empathizing with me. My God, isn't it the fucking worst? The constant stress?? I PROMISE YOU IT GETS BETTER, I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!! I am finally at a point where my anxiety is not killing me 24/7. It took a hot fuckin minute to get here, but I am at a point now where my anxiety will only eat at me for a chunk of my day instead of my whole day. Getting into the Barbie movie literally saved my life. But, like... it's literally a stress disorder, an anxiety disorder. That feeling of it literally EATING at you every single second that you're awake, and even giving you nightmares when you're asleep -- jesus!!! it's so much!!! it's!!! A LOT and it's intense and it's like you never get any peace. BUT I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER!!!!! 😭😭💙💙💙 IT GETS BETTER ANON I SWEAR TO YOU. I AM HOLDING YOUR HAND THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING!!!!!

One day you will wake up and the person who traumatized you, the events that traumatized you, will NOT be the very first thing popping into your head. One day you'll be able to sit down and eat a sandwich and think to yourself "oh I just went 20 whole seconds without thinking about it". One day you'll be tying your shoe and thinking "oh I think i just went five whole minutes without thinking about it!" slowly, gradually, you will have healed so much, you will look back and think "oh. I'm... so much better than I was."

I actually had this revelation a few weeks ago, I sat down making comics, and then I thought to myself... "...oh... I don't think I thought about my abuser... at all... when a trigger was right in front of my face... for a solid two minutes." I saw a gifset where Margot Robbie was wearing an article of clothing that normally triggers me into a panic attack, but I just kept looking at Margot and thinking "hehehe that's my Barbie!!! <3" and then i realized the trigger was right in front of my face but I was so focused on being gay asf I didn't even realize the trigger was there. And then when I noticed it, my body was like "oh. time to panic" but I managed to push away those feelings and say "nope. nope. that's Barbie. and Barbie is safe. and everything is ok!!!" And two minutes of handling a certain trigger may not seem like a long time, at first... but when you're constantly overwhelmed every single second of every single day... two minutes looks like a blessing. and one day you won't even have to count the minutes anymore. you'll just exist and the misery will only be momentary.

But aside from triggers, now, just in general, I am at a point where I can go hours without remembering my abuser or the events that gave me literally DOZENS of triggers in the first place. Flashbacks are rare, when they used to be constant. I'm not as jittery as I used to be, I'm not as... uh, feeling like I'm going out of my mind, I don't know how else to phrase it, but the anxiety that ptsd gives you literally makes you feel like you're losing your sense of self, and I promise you that feeling goes away with time. I promise you it gets better. I didn't have a support system during my time of need, so my healing process is taking much longer than it would have, so I am hopeful that your healing process is actually going much speedier than mine, even if our circumstances may not be exactly the same ofc but just hearing that you have a therapist helping you out with this is absolutely wonderful. Therapy is so important, paired with self care.

I'm so proud of you anon. I'm so sorry you're going through this and ahhh sorry I'm scatterbrained, it's been a long day and my brain cells are on fire, but!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and I LOVE YOU and IT'S GONNA BE OKAY!!!! IT'S GONNA GET BETTER!!!!!! That feeling of constant anxiety 24/7 is an absolute bitch, but it gets better!!! It gets better!!!! I'll say it a million times, it gets better!!!! And I'm here for you the whole way okay? Please feel free to message me anytime. Ilusm I'm sending you so many hugs and I will be keeping you in my thoughts. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

#thank you for taking the time to empathize with me holy shit #i feel like a lot of ppl dont rly. understand ptsd. unless if they have it. which is normal ofc #or just trauma in general. which is fine! u cant fully understand smth til u go thru it #so when you mentioned the CONSTANT anxiety i was just nodding my head while reading #24/7 your brain is making you remember things you wish you could forget and it aint fun #tips: journal your thoughts everyday to reduce nightmares #bc it helps your brain process things while its awake #so it wont process AS much when youre asleep. that way you get BETTER sleep #more tips: sleeping is so good for u. drinking water is so good for ur Scared Brain #EXERCISING!!!! going for walks in the sunlight helps you with vitamin D + tiring u out faster #so u can sleep easier. bc again. oh my god the sleep is so important.#and sleep is the thing i struggle with the most i only get 3 or 4 hours every night #being social helps so much. im going out with friends at LEAST once a week #and scheduling hangouts with online friends once a week as well. or voice calling #i know it hurts so fucking bad right now but i promise it gets better #i am holding your hand the entire time ok you're not alone. im here for you.#anonymous #asks #ptsd #keepsake

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