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shawnxstyles · 4 months

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DATE: JANUARY 8, 2023

summary: as you begin to build your confidence, you try to learn some things on your own to surprise harry. you know, just as a little thank you. meanwhile, harry finally starts to think your unspoken arrangement is a little too personal.

request: yes!!

words: 6k

warnings: SMUT (m-receiving [hand-job, oral], dirty talk), language, and loads of overthinking! (will probably have angst in the next part!)

note: PLEASE tell me how you guys feel about this!! comment/reblog/send me a message! PREVIOUS PART.

bestfriendrry x inexperienced!reader

—

It’s barely been a few days since you last saw Harry in person, and quite frankly, you’ve never noticed how much time has passed until now. Until your mind was constantly occupied with thoughts of his hands on your body and his sweet, cocky words in your ear. You wanted to be sick of it, wanted it to be done and through. But your brain just could not let go of his touch. You must have released too many hormones during all that touching because time has never felt so prolonged and stretched. You have gone weeks without seeing Harry before, and although you’ve missed him in the past, you’ve never connected every little thing to him. Certain words and objects somehow prime your memory directly to Harry. Even thinking of your doll collection back at home sends shivers down your spine. He has seriously ruined you, and you hate that you don’t hate it.

After the last time with Harry, you swore it was the last time. You didn’t say it out loud but in your head. You knew that if you explicitly told Harry that that was the last time that it would be the last time and he would never touch you again. No, not unless you asked, not unless you begged. Which he would enjoy too much. What you found out was that you don’t have enough self-discipline to tell yourself no. So, it only makes sense that you’re still agonizing over his touch and how rough yet soft his hands are.

God, why are you thinking of his hands right now?

Your laptop is resting on your legs, warming you up as you try to finish your mid-term paper. At first, your fingers were flying around your keyboard, typing your ass off to submit it. But now you’re barely halfway through and you can’t even comprehend the last sentence you wrote because you keep thinking about Harry. Somehow, you managed to connect some Shakespeare poetry analysis to Harry.

Come on, how does that even happen without conscious effort?

No matter how many times you want to call up Harry and simply ask him for another “lesson” you can’t. It just feels too selfish to you now. He may have willingly offered because he felt bad for you, but now, you feel bad for him because he has to teach you. Maybe if you guys had a set time for all this you would feel less guilty. A schedule, just like your lectures! Then it would be like a real class.

You would never skip.

But you do recall the last thought that you had when you were with him. Would it really be so bad to learn the giving side of sex? Isn’t that the main reason why Harry is teaching you? Firstly, he wants you to understand your own body, which you feel pretty confident with after his sweet praises and words. Oh, and you won’t forget how he made you stare at yourself (or really him) in a full-body length mirror the first time. Yeah, that definitely still gives you chills. And a newly-found level of self-esteem, which is why you feel confident enough in your decision.

You’re going to do a bit of research on your end of the deal. A deal that is unspoken, so therefore, has non-existent rules. You and Harry never specified if you could pleasure him, but you would be getting the experience you needed, so what is the harm? It is in the unspoken rules. So, you’re going to surprise him with what you’ve learned.

After you finish your paper, of course.

Ugh.

–

Watching a variety of porn videos was extremely weird because you were watching them for a different reason than what they are made for.

Your eyes were straining at your laptop screen as you carefully inspected all the women’s actions. Sometimes, they would unbutton the man’s pants, sometimes they wouldn’t, but they always sank to their knees with their eyes on him. The women spit on their hands and stroke gently, or they would just put their mouth straight on him. It caused you to blink and swallow in fear because what if you didn’t like it? What if it tasted so horrible that you’ll never want to suck another man off in your life? What if your lack of blow-jobs is the reason you don’t have a boyfriend? Or why you don’t have a future husband in the running?

This is why you cannot be left alone.

From all the women you observed, they all had seductive expressions and alluring features that you were almost positive you did not possess. They had the most perfect bodies and that effortlessly flowing hair and cute little moans and they knew exactly what to do. It may not be the best thing to base anything off of, but you couldn’t help but feel a little insecure. Watching the videos gave you a little more knowledge, but also made you feel a little more self-conscious about your appearance. What if Harry didn’t even find you attractive? He definitely doesn’t want some girl mindlessly messing with his dick, especially when it’s not erect (which you have learned in health class in high school thankfully). All those words of reassurement and praise, were they just for the moment? Just to make you feel good and that’s it? Did he mean any of it? You couldn’t even manipulate yourself to an answer.

God, sometimes, you just wish that he would reach out to you. Wouldn’t that make everything so much easier? You would never say no if he just texted you first. But why would he do that? He’s doing you the favor, so you would have to be the one to text him. Fuck, how did he go from your best friend to your best friend that you’re obsessing over because he’s really good at sexual things? Maybe he hypnotized you in that mirror.

–

Harry thinks he might just die. Not from school or work, but from you. Out of all his friendships in his lifetime, even his relationships, he has never been thinking about a person so damn much.

He’s been friends with you for many, many years, and Harry has never once thought of you in a sexual manner. Or even in a romantic way. When you two were growing up, he definitely noticed you having some changes through your teenage years as teenagers do. But even then he always knew you were just friends. And that’s all it will ever be, so he never saw through that wall. Men are simple creatures; Harry realized you guys were friends, so that was it. End of story.

But for some reason, years later, he is being haunted by your sudden attractiveness? Harry’s not fucking stupid when he thinks this. You’ve always been gorgeous and funny and smart, so it made perfect sense why you didn’t have a boyfriend. You just checked too many boxes, right? The only possible solution of why men weren’t kissing your feet had to be because of your own expectations.

You’ve always been the kind of girl who thought every little thing to the tee. Harry even remembers you planning your wedding with your dolls when you were younger. You had a binder with all the people you would invite and colors that would decorate the walls of the church your parents got married in. Getting married in a church may seem basic to anyone else, but to you it was special because your grandmother also got married there. To you, it was a tradition, and Harry knows you love traditions and schedules. It’s like a plan that’s set in stone for you to complete. He just knows when you get married you’ll have the most thoughtful wedding because you would have put your heart into every single detail. You’re barely 22, finishing up your last year of college just like Harry, so you still have plenty of time to find your future husband.

Yet you think it’s the end of the world that you don’t have one in the running right now, and Harry has no idea why.

Thinking of the future like this used to make Harry feel happy for you because he knows it’s one of your biggest dreams, but there is something inside of him that’s blocking him from feeling like that anymore. It’s a nagging, sort of distant feeling in his chest that kind of makes him ill. He always knew he was going to be at your wedding in some form, but maybe he wishes it was…

No, that’s ridiculous. How did he overthink that much?

See? You’ve seriously fucked him up. This is exactly why he cannot text you. This is exactly why he cannot touch you anymore. No matter how badly he wants to. God, does he want to. You haunted his mind and invaded his soul until you were completely entwined within his consciousness, lingering like a flashbulb memory. He pitied you at first, so he wanted to help his best friend with her inexperience. That’s what friends are there for–to help you through the embarrassing times in secret, so when you go out into the real world it’s not so bad.

But now, Harry just wants to keep you for himself. He hates touching you knowing that it’s going to be for someone else one day. But he got too greedy to say no to himself, so he put you on his thigh the second day rather than fingering you. Fuck, he wishes he could slide his cock into you while whispering the sweetest and dirtiest words in your ear, just for your face to burn up in flames. He wants to hear your soft moans echo in the air from his cock because you want to be with him, not because you’re trying to “get better” at sex.

No, Harry doesn’t think he can do anything more with you without figuring his shit out.

–

Incoming call: Y/N

Harry wanted to answer it, but he hesitated too long. Fuck, what if you really just wanted to hang out this time? But fuck, he missed your touch. And your voice. And your face… How is he supposed to be around you without reaching out to caress you?

Missed call: Y/N

Voicemail: Y/N: “Hey, I just called to see what you were up to. I was just seein’ if you wanted to hang out. But clearly you’re busy, so it’s fine. I, um, have a surprise that I wanted to show you sometime. I… Well, I’ve been trying to learn some things on my own, if you know what I mean. I’ve been watching some videos, but you know, nothing is as good as a real life teacher! So, um, just call me back whenever you’re free. Bye!”

Harry was royally fucked. His mind couldn’t stop thinking about what you might have been learning about. You were also so cute in your voicemail that Harry just had to save it. He doesn’t think he’s ever saved someone’s voicemail before, but he’s never been more thankful for letting that call go to one. He took a single deep breath before he pressed the call button.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Doll. Sorry, I was in the shower…”

Now he has to rush to take a shower as you drive over to his house to present him with your little “surprise.”

–

As Harry stood up from his couch to answer the door, he regrets not jerking off in the shower.

He had an incredible hard-on, and it was embarrassingly from the voicemail. He was a little too excited for whatever your surprise was. You gave him no hint, but he’s assuming it has something to do with masturbating.

“Harry,” Your voice was chipper as you greeted him almost formally. But it was a little too high and squeaky. It was obvious to Harry that you were nervous, which made him feel a bit better in a way. You didn’t seem as distressed as you last had been, so maybe you did learn to get yourself off. Then you wouldn’t need him anymore.

That was the goal, right?

“Y/N,” he says as he widens the door and lets you in. You scurry past him and onto his couch, immediately heating up at the memory from before.

You swallowed the dryness that drained your voice, deciding how to bring it up to him. You take a deep breath and remember the confidence that he’s been trying to instill in you. You recall all the videos you’ve been researching and how assertive all those women had been. While you do so, Harry follows you to the couch and plops right down next to you.

If you hadn’t been so nervous yourself, maybe you would have seen how shifty Harry was. His eyes were darting all around, trying to look busy. His mind was scouring thoughts of things to say, but couldn’t settle on the right one. Maybe you’d see that he swallowed all the saliva in his mouth until his tongue was dry and he was biting his lip. Only then did you look up from your shivering fingers to see his bottom lip anxiously tucked between his bunny teeth.

“I wanted to talk about our…deal,” You started, tucking your calves underneath your body. Harry nods, but doesn’t say anything. “We never explicitly stated any details of what this contract entailed–”

“English, please, Y/N. You get all formal and chatty when y’nervous.”

Your skin heated, embarrassed. “Right… We never talked about what we were doing. So, if what I’m about to ask breaks some unspoken rule, just let me know. If you actually want to stop doing this, also let me know–”

“Just say it, Y/N.”

“I’ve been watching videos on how to pleasure you…” You speedily say, causing the room to go silent. You feel the heat from in between your legs grow whilst also flowing towards your neck and face. You wonder how hot a human can get before they just boil over and explode. Harry’s seemingly nonchalant face grows a smirk, which is comfortable to you now. “God, you’re a dick.”

After your mumble, you continue: “I felt… bad that you were doing everything. And I just thought that maybe I could learn something from this. And you could be… rewarded in a way.”

“So you’ve been learning what exactly?” His smirk never fades. Of course he wants you to be explicit with him, which you struggle with. He just loves making you nervous. He feeds off of it.

He’s selfish. He’s so selfish and he can’t control it. When he’s with you, it’s like driving a car without its brakes. He speeds right through all the stop signs without blinking twice.

Just one last time, he swears. Then he’s ending it.

“C’mon. Would it be easier to tell me or show me, hmm?” You swear his voice dropped an octave, just like your eyes dropped to the area on his sweatpants. There was a lump that you can’t recall being there before. Were you looking?

You took a deep breath and kept it there, unable to breathe normally at how straightforward Harry is. He’s always been like that, never changed. So why is he just now making you breathless?

Confidence.

“Okay.”

You move your eyes up to meet Harry, and he’s already looking at you. You feel your heart jump at his sudden stare, strikingly green and beaming with lust. Without removing your sight from him, you shift yourself off the couch and onto his carpet.

His eyebrows slightly raise as you hesitantly reach for the waistband of his pants. He’s enjoying this too much, he thinks.

“Go on. I want to see what you can do,” his simple words urged you to actually grab his sweatpants. As he lifts his hips, you yank the material down until his boxers are showing.

“Huh,” The noise left your mouth before you could stop it. Harry stares at you puzzled, blinking at you curiously. That’s the first time a girl has ever made that noise in front of him before. In this position especially…

“What?” Harry has never felt more self-conscious than right now. He was alright until you made that sound. That’s never something a guy wants to hear when a girl is on her knees in front of him.

“Nothing, I just took you as more of a ‘briefs’ guy.” Harry instantly felt more relieved.

“I’ave both. Haven’t y’borrowed my boxers before?” he asks. Your eyes widen as you look down. Maybe you have in the past, but the thought of that now sounds incredibly too intimate to you. Yeah, you’ll never be doing that again.

“Anyway,” You smiled forcefully while trying to rid the heat from your cheeks, “before I pull down your boxers, I have to ask you something.”

“Of course,” he agrees with sarcasm laced in his tone, which only makes you roll your eyes. You’re inches away from his cock, merely separated by a sheer layer of clothing and you have a question. He can bet it’s not going to be can I take this off now?.

“Do you find me attractive?” You had to ask. You bit the inside of your cheek, chewing on the nerves that you felt. Harry just stares at you, blinking. You always find a way to catch him off guard, he thinks. He doesn’t say a word, just two eyes lasering into yours as if he’s searching for the perfect answer. “It’s a simple yes or no. But if it’s a no, then I don’t want to do this. Because then you’ll be all-all soft in my hands or my mouth and then you’ll just be uncomfortable. Guys must not like it when they’re soft, right? You have to be hard, it means you like it… Right?”

When you got nervous, you got chatty. It was one of your most evident qualities. You had to fill the silence that Harry had created with his nonexistent answer.

Harry wishes that was a simple yes or no. Of course, he found you attractive, so yes. But only now are those feelings becoming more complicated, diverging from anything ‘simple’. It would feel like crossing a line if he said yes.

But Harry was great at brushing it off.

“Y’right. So why don’t y’pull these down and see for yourself, Doll?”

Your posture had been stick-straight and stiff unknowingly. But his hot words had your icicle-like spine melting in seconds, shivers cascading down your back like an avalanche.

You swallowed for what felt like the hundredth time since you’ve been here. You shifted on your legs on the ground, trying to get comfortable. You remind yourself that you are going to be confident and show Harry exactly what you have been learning. It should be simple. You should be able to do it without feeling all these emotions.

But it seems so hard when it’s Harry that’s tied to them.

Your fingers tuck into the waistband of his boxers and slowly pull them down. When the material is at his ankles, you finally acknowledge the hard length that sprung from beneath them. His cock was nothing like those porn videos. It wasn’t abnormally monstrous with loads of veins on the sides that looked impossible to fit into any hole. It wasn’t ugly and unappealing. Just the sight of his length alone made you want to touch him. Made you want to put your mouth on him…

You never thought you’d want to do that with anyone ever. You never thought you’d be attracted to that because of those unsettling videos. But of course, Harry is throwing you off, making reality much more fantastical and dreamy than it really is. How does he do such a thing?

You know whoever you fall in love with will not have a cock like this.

His tip was a dark pink with a smidge of wetness at the top. He only had one prominent vein that ran down the left side that was throbbing from neglect. You didn’t even notice your mouth watering, salivating as if you were classically conditioned.

“Does that answer y’question, Doll?” Harry was trying his very hardest not to stroke himself. Better yet, to come. The doe-eyed expression on your face was priceless and would forever be framed in his mind. The glossy, wondrous glint in your eyes screamed lust and anticipation. You seemed excited, but Harry could never be sure because he still feels a tad vulnerable. He’s never felt so revealed before.

He guesses with you it would have always been different no matter what. Because it’s you.

“Yes,” Your voice was quiet as you placed your hands beside his thighs. You were unbelievably nervous now. You were trying to recall what the videos did at this point in your head, but you lost your train of thought. You were literally entranced by his dick. Also something you never thought would happen.

“D’you know what happens now? Or do y’need some help?” he taunts, subtly squinting his eyes as he leans the slightest bit forward. He’s attempting to ignore the throbbing of his cock as you lock your stare into his eyes. It twitches, but he continues to neglect it. He thinks that if and when you decide to touch him, he will come on the spot.

“I know what to do, Harold.”

“Then do it, sweetheart.”

You repeat his words back to him, mocking his tone before spitting on your hands aggressively. Once you feel like they’re not as dry, you put one hand on him without hesitation. His taunting tone fueled you with more confidence than you would have thought. Your legs were tightly squeezed together, so you didn’t have to worry about the tingle that slowly began to throb between them.

Harry hissed lowly, followed by a gentle growl at your touch. Your hands were colder than he had thought, catching him by surprise.

“Holy shit, your hands are freezin’. How did I not feel tha’?”

“Shut up,” You grumbled as you continued to stroke him roughly, not really paying attention if it felt good. You’re annoyed with him because his dick is so perfect, and he’s trying to rush you.

“Hey,” his finger goes beneath your chin and forces your eyes away from his cock. You look into his eyes with a serious pout on your face. He wants to believe you’re truly mad, but he knows you, and he knows that you’re not. You’re secretly frustrated because you don’t know what to do now that you’re actually in the situation. And he knows you hate not knowing what to do. “You’re on your knees for me. Don’t forget where y’are. Now, show me what ya learned, pretty girl.”

His words never failed to make you dizzy. He might as well have put you on the teacups ride and then spun you in a circle. His finger was grazing your chin, and you felt as if you could melt in a puddle before him. He had you weak. He made you want to say yes, sir and obey his every command. Every drop of feminism left your body at his very words, your body going all in.

“Yes,” The s sounded slurred because the word sir nearly fell from your lips. It felt automatic, it felt right. But you didn’t want to cross any boundaries that you guys failed to cover.

Your hands continued to move up and down his length, feeling more comfortable with him in your hand.

“Can I…” You leaned forward, your mouth nearing his cock. He was leaking more than before and his tip was pulsing red. You didn’t even wait for his answer because you knew you already had his consent to do whatever you wanted.

Your mouth dropped down to his cock, sucking on just the tip. Harry doesn’t hold back his moan as it echoes throughout his living room, bouncing off his walls. You don’t move yourself any lower. You just swirl your tongue around the rutty tip and consume all of his juices. The taste wasn’t bad. Maybe a little salty, but it was nothing like you would have assumed. In a way, it was a little addicting. You had hoped that’s what cum tastes like, and you hoped that you would taste his.

Was that a weird thing to hope for?

“Fuck, Y/N,” Harry grumbled as his large hand slotted in your hair, in need of some stability. You didn’t mind, instantly loving the feeling of his hand on you. He didn’t pull or tug you, but just kept you in place. Almost as if he didn’t want you to go any lower in fear of you choking.

“Use y’hands for the rest,” Even with his eyes half shut, he was still able to instruct you on your technique. While his hand was strong, you went lower onto his cock, taking more into your mouth than before. The weight of his tip on your tongue was heavy and hot, but it didn’t stop you from slowly moving it in and out. Your hands eventually found a rhythm with your mouth, understanding speed and pace.

The louder Harry’s sounds got, whether they were breaths or moans or growls, hinted that you were in the right direction. You knew technique and skill was all learned from experience, but also being attentive to your partner. When Harry was pleasuring you, he always listened to you. Almost too well. Even just after a few sessions, he knew what got you off the fastest better than you ever did (obviously).

“Doin’ so good, Doll,” his fingers curled in your hair and you released some type of moan around his cock. The sound vibrated throughout his body, sending a shock to his core. “Gettin’ off on this, huh? ‘Course y’are. Just desperate for whateva you can get.”

Harry was completely right. Your clit was throbbing in your underwear and your nipples were beyond their peaks. But you didn’t seem as hopeless as you usually are because you finally had a reasonable distraction. Your neck was beginning to ache as your jaw felt like it was about to lock. But your hands never stopped, and your tongue continued to explore his circumference, even after swirling around it a million times.

Harry had been holding off for too long. He twitched every time he thought he was about to come, attempting to make it fade. But your mouth was just so warm, so wet, and so, so desperate to be filled, it was impossible to stay calm.

“D’ya want me to come, baby? Huh? Want me to come down your pretty, little throat? Gonna swallow it like the good girl you are, right? It’s the last step,” Harry was nearly choked from the way you moved on his cock. Yes, you were sloppy, but you were determined.

He could feel your nod along with the halt of your hands. You rested your hands on his bare thighs, clawing gently at the tiger tattoo. To his shock, your mouth went as deep as you could go, his tip nudging the back of your throat. He felt your gag, which he had expected for how fast you went down on him. Just as he was about to pull out of you completely though, you persevered, which made him go over the edge.

Before he knew it, his orgasm was spurting down your throat, coating your tongue. When he was all empty, you finally pushed him off of you to catch a breath. Harry was still in shock. He did not expect you to exceed your own limits and swallow all of him without hesitation. You have always had a good work ethic, though.

“Holy fuck, baby, are you okay?” Now, his hands grab your aching jaw in concern, pulling you up to sit on the couch. You didn’t realize how much your knees were going to hurt, but now that you’re up, all you are is achy.

The pet name made your skin hotter than it already was, wondering if he realized what he had just called you. Maybe it was an accident, but it had your heart accelerating at a speed that did not seem remotely healthy.

“Y-Yeah,” You croaked out, throat immensely dry. Harry quickly puts his boxers and pants back on before leaving to the kitchen. You’re left on his couch in shock while you rub your aching jaw.

Harry’s back with some water that you chug without thought. He can’t help but chuckle a little at your nature. He observes you doing a simple task, drinking water for your parched throat. But even with the mundane action, he’s somehow in awe. When you seem finished, you put the glass down and look at him.

“Well, that was difficult,” You sigh, leaning back on the couch. You believe that if you just pretend that what you’re feeling is normal then everything is normal. Harry’s concern for you still echoes in your head; the word baby is never going to be the same.

“I bet,” Harry’s response was dry, but only because he feels like he has to.

“Was it… horrible?” You asked, cringing in fear of his response. You know Harry’s going to be only honest, which means he could be brutal.

It felt way too fucking good for your first time and made me see you in a way I’ve never seen you before is what Harry wanted to say. But he settled with, “It was fine, Doll.”

“That’s it? Oh, c’mon! Give me something honest. I need to learn, don’t I?” You sounded like a little child. Harry rolled his eyes as you scooted closer to him on the couch. He swallowed at the proximity, which you didn’t bat an eyelash at. “C’monnnn.”

Truth be told, your heart was still racing, but you were too immersed in how off-put Harry seemed. You liked that he didn’t have some charming, witty comment hanging off the tip of his tongue. It was enjoyable to watch him get a little nervous.

“Don’t be so stiff,” his arm falls on the back of the couch, “probably why y’neck hurts so bad.”

“Pfft. My neck does not hurt,” You bluffed as you rolled your eyes, avoiding eye contact. Harry knows you too well, though, and didn’t believe you for a sliver of a second.

“Really.”

“Mhm.”

His hand moves to cup the back of your neck, absorbing its warmth. It was almost embarrassing how hot your neck was, flush with the aftermath of sucking him off. You won’t lie and say that it wasn’t attractive. You won’t lie and say that you didn’t get off on it. Everything that Harry had said had been true. It was evident that you were turned on by pleasuring him, just like he you.

You swallowed with his hand caressing your neck. His soft touch slowly turned into a gentle massage, squeezing the aching muscles between his fingers. You couldn’t stop the whispered moan that left your mouth at the relief. The slight roughness from his callouses was doing wonders to the soreness at the base of your neck. Your eyes had shut now, fully encompassed with his hand rubbing your skin.

If it didn’t feel so good, maybe you would worry about how this is too intimate and you too were way too close. But his touch wasn’t as electrifying as it was calming right now, soothing you until your mind’s thoughts were lulled asleep. You were amazed at how his hands could be both. You felt your shoulders drop in peace, teeth pillowing into your lips.

You weren’t conscious of all your movements, but each made Harry go mad. His touch was simple and light, but he could see it really relaxed you. Maybe you weren’t just sore from this, but from school as well. Sometimes, Harry felt like he hadn't talked to you as much because you too were so busy doing… this.

You guys lost time to just being friends.

Maybe Harry was too in his head, but he hated that. He hated that you hadn’t been texting him as often or even coming over as much. Every time you did now, it only had to do with sex. Don’t get him wrong, he loves that, but with you, it’s always more. It’s always been more. And he hates that there’s no ‘more’ anymore.

Should you two stop doing this? Harry already feels guilty enough. He feels selfish because he wants you in ways he knows he can’t have you, so why is he tempting himself? Each time you come over he knows what you want and he selfishly gives it to you because he convinces he’s doing you a favor. At first, he innocently was. But now, he doesn’t see you as a friend as much as something more. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to back petal his way back into a comfortable friendship with you as long as this continues. Losing his best friend because he was horny and thoughtless is unreasonable to him. That’s what it is, he concludes. That he is just horny, and he’s thinking with his dick.

But there’s a certain pattern of his heart that continues to beat your name in a rhythm that’s new and unfamiliar to Harry.

It feels like a crossed line, a boundary overstepped. If he were to officially cross the line, you would have your back turned on him unknowingly because there is no way you feel the way he’s feeling. He fears he is subconsciously trespassing an area of your friendship with these feelings that are bubbling in his chest. It’s hard for him to say he’s just a horny college boy when it comes to you, but that’s all he’s got.

Harry was so caught up in his head, he hadn’t realized how close you two had gotten. Your face looked beyond serene, basking in the warmth and comfort of his hands. But Harry felt guilty. He couldn’t stop feeling selfish for touching you, even if it’s what you wanted. You don’t know his intentions, so each massage on your muscles feels wrong.

Suddenly, Harry removes his hands off of your shoulders and your eyes peel open. You sigh with a gentle smile on your face, very thankful for the time he put into massaging your neck.

“Thank you. I guess my neck did hurt a little–”

“I, um, actually forgot I have work,” Harry blurts as he removes his hand from your neck entirely. Your smile fades as you shake your head. His words brought you back to reality instantly, taking you away from your sweet serenity. One where his hands are on you all the time, lulling you to sleep whenever you’re stressed. It was a great daydream, truly.

“Oh. Yeah. Did you say that before?”

“Don’t know. Must have slipped my mind. Sorry,” His responses were short and clipped, a tell that something was up.

“Hey,” You stopped him from getting off the couch. The worry laced in your voice seemed to slow him down. “What just happened?”

With anyone else, he would ask what do you mean? as if the other person was stupid. But he knew you weren’t stupid, and you knew exactly what was going on. Something had changed within that moment and you weren’t just going to have him kick you out because he had some random thought.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore. M’sorry,” he sighs, shoulder drooping.

You no longer felt serenity as the words fell from his lips. It’s always your best friends that know where it especially hurts. Right after you have done something vulnerable he drops that shit on you. Unbelievable.

This is why people should never do sexual shit with their best friends. Or better yet, any of their friends. It’s just way too complicated. It can never be as simple as a favor.

No, it’s way too fucking personal.

—

AHHH HOW DO WE FEEL??

taglist: @whoreonmondays @armystay89 @meighasfangirldiary @icumforbaldrry @luvonstyles @bisexual-desi @littlenatilda @crybabyddl @tiaamberxx @alwaysclassyeagle @raajali3 @likeapplejuicenpeach

crossed out= not able to tag

#shawnxstyles #personal #harry styles #harry styles fan fics #harry styles smut #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles series #harry styles gif #harry styles stories

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mrsdarkandyandere7 · 1 year

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Gone Maid

Pairing: Dark Paul Atreides x (female) Reader

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

SUMMARY: Your jealous husband will only stop when you’re completely lonely.

WARNINGS: Toxic Marriage.

AN: Also thanks to the anon that sent methose 3 ideas, the credit goes to you for this amazing idea. Please, reblog and give me feedback.

“Where is she?” you storm inside the room, anger bubbling inside you.

Paul looks up, a neutral expression on his face. He slowly chews his food, impassive about your outburst.

Your anger quickly declines as the uncomfortable silence grows, the imbalance of the situation making you grow nervous. Paul doesn’t like you to argue back.

“I want her back, Paul. Y-You can’t keep doing this.” your words cause Paul to narrow his eyes at you, a muscle contracting in his jaw. Your breath gets caught on your throat, a nervous feeling rising.

“I can’t? Is that so?” he repeats, fork dropping to the plate with a loud crash that makes you jump a bit.

Paul lets out a dark chuckle, shaking his head as he grabs a napkin, cleaning the sides of his mouth before joining his hands, his eyes staring into you.

“I make the decisions I see fit for me, you and this Empire. You don’t need to be happy about them, but yes accept them.” he declares and you swallow back a snappy comment.

Stay calm and take a deep breath. Don’t let him get to you, you repeat to yourself.

“She did nothing wrong. She never uttered a single ill word against the Empire, if that’s what you mean.” you defend your maid, who also shares your home planet.

All the rest of the maids that initially came with you now gone, sent away from you. All because of your husband’s need to isolate you, to leave you completely alone unless for his suffocating company.

His lips curl into a malicious smile as Paul gives you a knowing look, sensing your desperation.

“Your maid was a menace. She poisoned your mind against me and don’t you dare lie to me about that. I know the conversations you two often shared about me.” he takes a sharp breath, his blue eyes sending shivers down your body.

He can’t possibly know about that. But he does. He always does. You bite your lip, your throat constricting as the tears rise to your eyes.

It’s more than predictable how this is going to end and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You’re defenseless, powerless, as you always are against him.

Paul rises from his seat, approaching you until he can cup your cheeks, his eyes tracing your features.

“Don’t cry, my love. I’m the only one you need.”

-----

If you liked it, then please reblog.

#dark paul atreides #dark paul atreides x reader #paul atreides x reader #dark!paul atreides #dune x reader #dark!paul atreides x reader #yandere paul atreides #yandere paul atreides x reader #yandere!paul atreides #paul atreides/reader #paul atreides x you #paul atreides/you #imagine paul atreides #paul atreides imagine #@mrsdarkandyandere7 #tw: yandere #yandere x reader #tw: toxic relationships #dark!fic

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rebeltarot · 2 months

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CAREER ➕ Blessings coming toward you in your career

"I still remember the nights I wished for the things I have now."

[3 piles] ・ [5 decks] ・ [8-10 cards for each pile] ・ [letters, signs, songs]

Hello friends! As we are nearing the end of this quarter I wanted to create a reading all about blessings coming toward you in your career. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. What are your hopes and dreams regarding your career? Do you have any goals you want to achieve in this area this year? Definitely let me know. Regardless of what you are hoping for, I wish you all the best and lots of luck. ♡♡

Painting: Dancers, Pink and Green by Edgar Degas (ca. 1890)

Helpful Links: How to choose your pile ➕ Request a reading

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

PILE 01 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

C, A, R, E, E, I, 3rd House, Mercury, Scorpio

Song: Mother's Daughter (R3HAB Remix) - Miley Cyrus

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: 5 of cups, 10 of cups, the sun, the devil rx, 9 of pentacles rx

Oracle: the dragon, the king, emotion, imum coeli, moon in leo

Hello, Pile 01, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. With the 5 of cups, it feels like for the longest time you were struggling in your career. This does not necessarily mean that there was no progress, but it was not emotionally fulfilling for you. This could also talk about a lack-mindset in terms of your career, i.e., not feeling worthy of it or not seeing a future with it. Some of you might feel like an imposter in your current position. Yes, you are wearing the title, but you do not feel like you deserve it. This is where your blessing is happening. It's going to address your hustling mentality and your superficiality in your career. It feels like you might have given more than you were able to, pouring from an empty cup just to feel like you deserve to be where you are. Whatever you were doing, it's unsustainable. I feel like you were once very passionate about your current career but fell out of love with it because you were overworking yourself too much, nearly burning out. What I see coming towards you is something that most would consider extremely lucky, as we have the ladybug in the imagery of this card. 10's in tarot talk about an excess of energy; in this case, it's positive energy. Something significant will happen that will indicate the end of one cycle and ring in a new one of abundance and emotional fulfillment. Your cards are not saying what is going to happen, just how it will affect you, and my god, pile 01, you're going to be so happy with this change. The sun is following the 10 of cups. You will experience a lot of success in your career, which will bring you lots of abundance. There is a sense of alignment and harmony. This most likely refers to your mindset. I feel like you are going to check yourself, and seek out an environment that fulfills you. Implementing the changes that need to be made to end this cycle of adversity and struggle. This is truly a positive spread, especially with the devil reversed ending this. You will step into self-empowerment. There is a sense of breaking free from things (be they people, situations, or mindsets) that held you prisoner. I see you freeing yourself from this hustling mindset and stepping into a deeper understanding of your wants and needs. It feels like you will pay attention to more than your salary in whatever you are doing next. You won't just be swayed by a fancy title and a big paycheck; you are digging deeper; you are looking for and finding something that is truly fulfilling. This does not mean that we are talking about a new job here or a new position. Not necessarily. But rather, I see this as you taking on a new perspective and thus realigning yourself with who you are, including your values and your desires. I see you detaching from superficial aspects of your career and digging deeper into what you need to feel fulfilled.

The dragon and the king are both confirming what we have already seen with the devil reversed. You are stepping into your power and taking charge instead of letting superficial aspects control you. It never brought you any satisfaction. I see you taking charge, especially in terms of legalities. Maybe you are renegotiating your contract, or you are signing a new one, but either way, it's all happening because you wish it to happen, meaning you are initiating it and taking charge of it. This pile is mostly about emotional fulfillment and not so much about the superficial aspects of your career, because it feels like the majority of this pile is already well-established in their career. This is a change and a blessing happening at the root of things. It's about values, fulfillment, alignment, and resonance. I feel like you were growing a massive tree on shallow roots, and your blessing is that you are accommodating your tree and allowing it to grow sustainable and strong roots. Again, it's not necessarily a career change; this might only apply to a very small percentage of this group. For most, this talks about working with what you have, not uprooting your career, but nurturing the soil and foundation that you hold. As I have said, for most of you, this is a mindset shift followed by minor changes, maybe in terms of working hours, etc. I feel like you might bring new ideas into your career, expanding what you are already doing and incorporating a more creative element into it. Others might share an idea, be it for a project, etc., which will allow you to turn your dreams into reality. Either way, needs that have not been met before are now being met, and whatever you wish for will find solid footing soon. It will manifest in your life. Fulfillment is coming.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

PILE 02 ➕

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

O, blank, G, A, K, E, 6th House, Mercury, Gemini

Song: All for us - Labrinth

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: the emperor, ace of cups, 2 of wands, king of cups rx

Oracle: trust, healing, midheaven, solar eclipse

Hello, Pile 02, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. It feels like you are feeling overwhelmed, my dear pile 02. When it comes to your career, it seems like you are feeling quite anxious and detached. You might even be withdrawing from it in one way or another. I heard "quiet quitting" while writing this. Whatever the current situation at your work is, it's far from ideal. It feels like you are holding back anger too. This is a very specific thing I see, but I feel like some of you might have felt betrayed. You are not showing it, but you are also not ignoring whatever has happened and led to your feeling of turmoil. You are actively taking away your effort to balance the scales quietly. Again, this might apply to just a handful of you, but the King of Cups, as our bottom deck, is looking upset and vindictive. The good news is that you are taking charge, my dear pile 02. Your blessing is that you take authority over this situation and maneuver whatever has happened that led to you withdrawing from your career into a success story for yourself. It feels like you are taking the cup you are holding, and instead of withholding it from everyone, including yourself, you are pouring your energy and your efforts into yourself. You are "upgrading" yourself, is what I heard. Interesting; this pile is very vocal. So maybe you are speaking up for yourself. Whatever it is, it's been a long time coming, and it relates to something you have held on to for quite some time. Your blessing is that you create stability. A new beginning is awaiting. It can relate to a brand new position, a job at a new company, or even your own business. Whatever the case may be, I see you in a leading position. And you are comfortable there. Maybe the King of Cups, in reverse, talked about suppressing your leadership talent and making you uncomfortable and upset. Either way, this new position of leadership will give you a whole new beginning, especially emotionally. I am hearing "clean slate." This is such a vocal pile! Someone might be giving you their scepter; for some, it might not be a voluntary handoff, but either way, it will be fulfilling for you. I see you climbing the ladder. Whatever your goals are in your career, you are getting closer to them. Plans are being made. For some, it might even relate to a position overseas. For sure, big decisions are made relating to the future. Both for you and for your career.

Trust is your next card. With the King of Cups reversed, this is slow-moving energy. It's not something that happens overnight. Especially since for some of you, the handover is not made willingly (i.e., the person leaving said position does not want to do so). Your guides are asking you to trust the process. Trust that what you are going through is meant to happen and that what is promised to you will happen. You are currently in the healing stages, but your career journey (your negative experience right now) is soon coming to a pinnacle. You are going to reach your goals faster than you might have anticipated. A solar eclipse might be significant. This could be an indicator of timing. Either way, this new beginning, this rebirth of yours, is your blessing, and it will come with a handful of opportunities. I see you regaining your passion and your inspiration, and you will feel at home in this position of leadership that is soon to come.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

PILE 03 ➕

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

O, B, G, A, 8th house, Uranus, Virgo

Song: Only You - Eddie Benjamin, Alessia Cara

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: 6 of wands, wheel of fortune rx, the star, King of swords rx, judgment

Oracle: the wasp, energy, jupiter, lunar eclipse

Hello, Pile 03, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. Wow, this is a pile with a bunch of major arcana. Whatever is happening for you, it sure is significant. Your situation is not easy, and it seems complicated. Interestingly, your tarot cards are telling a story and leading into your blessing. You are someone who is established, successful, highly regarded at work, and known for the great results you bring. Your peers do not doubt your skill set. However, it feels like whenever you hit a goal or whenever you experience a win, the wheel is turning sharply for you. Every hit of luck is met with a hit of misfortune. It does not have to be major, though it feels this way to you. It's something you might already be anticipating. However, your prospects are bright, my dear pile 3. How about a mindset shift? Instead of the bad following the good, how about the good following the bad? It's so interesting, your pile. Your blessing is your faith and your hope. This might sound anticlimactic, but it's the most powerful blessing one can get. Luck is unpredictable and unreliable. But hope and faith in yourself and your abilities? Confidence? That's something that can get you places. It's something that leads to intrinsic motivation and actions being taken. Your hope means pouring into yourself, tending the garden of your soul, and allowing things to sprout and bloom for you. Again, bright prospects for you. You will be blessed with an idea and inspiration. This vision will fertilize your soil, and it will allow you to make your wildest dreams come true. Your pile is so interesting because we have a good card followed by a challenging card, and so on, but eventually, we are ending your spread with a positive one. It's reminding me of a seesaw, and I swear it's giving me whiplash. You might feel this way. Having a bad thing leads to a good thing, and vice versa. But again, your ability to keep your head held high and your ability to still believe is a true blessing in and of itself. I feel like you are lying to yourself with the king of swords in reverse. You might feel like you are crumbling under all this pressure and under all these changes that seem to follow you around, but you are not. You are growing in your power, your ability, and your adaptability because that is the skill set that you need. That's the skillset that will bring you far and eventually to a lot of abundance. Your blessing, ultimately, is a rebirth of the self with the judgment card. You will receive an idea, an epiphany. This will lead to you finding your purpose and a renewal of your career. This seems to be such a common theme across all piles, but to me, in your pile, this sounds like growth. It sounds like a level-up. In your pile, especially, we can see the impact that it will have on your life with those three major Arcana cards. It's the birth of something. This is my entrepreneurial pile. I feel like most people in this pile either run their own business or want to do so at some point. Either way, you are birthing something, and it will lead to you having people against you. It's not an easy journey, but it is very well worth it.

The wasp is confirming the king of swords, Rx, in its message. Someone will not be happy about your wins. Do you know what is so funny in your pile, though? The wasp card is followed by the energy card, which has oranges depicted on it. And you know what repels wasps? You are right about citrus fruits, which oranges are. Your energy, the essence of who you are, is so strong and so powerful that those people just cannot touch you even if they try. Your ability to believe and to push through adversity makes you unstoppable. Whatever path you are choosing to walk, it's less traveled, one that is hard, and that takes a lot of power and will. Not everyone can achieve what you set out to achieve, leading to people envying you. But again, these people are an annoyance at worst; they are unable to touch you or your bag. And abundance is waiting for you, for sure. All your hard work and all the adversities you are facing are eventually there to help you grow and lead you toward success. Yes, it might feel like whiplash sometimes with all those huge wins being met with huge obstacles, but what is waiting for you is unmatched my dear pile three. Eventually, you will get whatever you desire, and then some. For that to happen, you have to go through a transformation, and we all know that growing pains hurt. But you will come out on the other side as a winner. Remember that you are always protected.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

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csphire · 4 months

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Tiefling kids' horn headcannons

(Blame Dammon for this rare moment of baby fever and this comic.)

Horns don't emerge and break through the skin fully until around age two. The whole process is similar to teething, and it makes the little ones just as fussy and irritable.

A signal when it's about to start is the child starts to nussle and rub their forhead on anything and everything while grunting.

Do they cry in discomfort over this? Sometimes, yes, but most parents do all they can to soothe them. They use anything from numbing oils to cool compreses.

Some might start head butting things, mostly playfully too. This sometimes worrisome behavior usually goes away by age three once the irritated skin about their horns heals up and calms down.

If their horns are sharply pointed, and there is a high concern of potential injury to themselves, and/or more likely others, parent(s) may opt to file them to be a touch duller. Or if they can afford it, safety cap them. The caps can be made with a variety of materials, usually hollowed carved wood or bone, and wrapped with the utmost care to maintain their structural integrity and allow continued healthy horn growth.

These horn caps are often kept as mementos like humans will sometimes keep their child's first pair of shoes.

Their little horns need nearly daily care compared to adults and are more prone to infections about the base of them.

They also need to be taught to leave their horns alone or wash their hands first as it's dirty hands, which lead to these infections. If they can't behave themselves, parents may need to cap or wrap them until their child learns better self-control.

Sometimes, a child will chip a tip of one of their horns at some point. There is no large cause for alarm unless there is a crack that looks to be running down the base. The horns are carefully filled to match one another again. The chipped horn is wrapped and/or splinted sometimes for a week or so. This is usually in an overabundance of caution to give any cracks time to fully mend.

Any filling down is usually similar to the feel of filing down one's nails. It should not hurt but there can be a sensation of catching the quick if a horn is filled down too much. Larger chips may need more time to correct any imbalance because of this.

Sometimes, one horn can grow a little faster than the other. Although common, this can cause some anxiety in some parents. It can usually be easily corrected, with careful filling of the horn that's growing quicker.

Feel free to reblog and add some of your own ideas. Add some of them to your fics if you want too! <3

#tieflings #tiefling kids #horn care #horn growth #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #headcannons #headcannon #I might add more later to this #check out the notes for more addons to these lil headcannons

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comicaurora · 3 months

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These have been pent up for a while, so there's a whole list lol. Some are Aurora, some are not.

1) Can lacrimas carry out multiple purposes at once? Or will they blend them? I'm assuming that this is possible, considering that the automaton in the ruins was using a lacrima as a brain

2) Has anyone tried to make tools or weapons out of lacrimas? I'm talking like chisel that needs no hammer. Or maybe a Fire lacrima on a bow that sets your arrows on fire

3) Can you engrave runes on lacrimas to make them affect themselves?

4) Where can I read more about the Twins? If I'm not wrong they're the creator gods, aided by the Light dragon and the Void dragon to create life, but I might be getting a wrong read on that

5) Since we see Erin successfully become the first Void mage, does that now mean there's potential for him to make a Void lacrima? The dragon probably won't allow it, but still

6) What exactly does elemental corruption of each element do? Fire literally burns you up, as we saw in Arc 1. I can infer that Life likely makes you a chimera. Void corruption makes you a cave crawler. But what do the other one do? Does Earth make you a statue? Does Wind disintegrate you, Thanos style?

7) Now onto the non-Aurora questions, is your art vector or raster? I believe it's vector, but it's always better to confirm

8) What are your opinions on reading into the environment and the character design to infer things about the character themselves? In any type of media

9) Have you played Baldur's Gate 3?

10) Do you have any music that you'd recommend? I've listened to every song I liked so many times that I hate them now.

11) I'm new to Tumblr, anything that I should know? You don't have to answer this one if you don't wanna. I think I know some of the basics already. Reblog what you like, and avoid the terfs, right?

You might be able to tell that I like the idea of the lacrimas a little bit. Just a teensy bit. The artificer in me definitely isn't obsessed. I appreciate any answers you can give :3

Cheers!

Ooh, lots of stuff!

Yes, it's possible. A lacrima can be engraved with multiple spells, set in a casing engraved with commands, or some combination of the two. Typically, all spells engraved directly on a lacrima will activate at once when the lacrima is "switched on", but a spell can be quite complex, and conditional activations are possible - "if-then-else" statements, basically.

Yes, magic items exist.

Generally no. If the lacrima is disrupted or broken, the spell generally stops functioning, so a self-affecting lacrima will run only as long as it takes for the lacrima to distort or break.

There's an extra lore page about them!

He probably could if he wanted to (and the Dragon allowed it) but Void energy is very dangerous, so he likely doesn't want to.

Each form of elemental corruption agitates the presence of the element in the mage's body. Earth corruption can damage or alter bones, encourage unhealthy petrification of soft tissues, etc. Wind corruption can have physical effects but it often most obviously produces breakdowns in the person's ability to speak or understand language. Lightning damages, numbs or intensifies a person's physical senses.

Raster, I draw with CSP's digital pens. I've only very briefly experimented with vector art - I don't like how it simplifies the lines.

I think it's a fun school of analysis but, like all literary analysis, it runs into trouble if it tries to lock down exactly what the writer was thinking or intending (which is an objective fact that one can be incorrect about) rather than trying to analyze the story on its own and what meaning might, intentionally or unintentionally, be factoring into it.

Nope

don't trust my taste in music it's 90% nu metal and sonic OSTs

Like what you like, reblog what you want, generally it's considered dubious form to add a comment to a reblog unless you have something profound to contribute (commenting in the tags is fine), steer clear of discourse and callout posts and generally the sectors of the site that are constantly on fire, blocking someone for any reason is 100% fine

#asks #aurora #not aurora

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dolliestfairy · 10 months

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𝑆𝑜𝑓𝑡 𝐹𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝐹𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑦 ❁ ₊ ˖ ་ ݁٬ ࣪✧ ،

Fluff Billy Loomis, Jason Voorhees, Michael myers, Jennifer check headcanons with Chubby!fem!reader who is a Flower Fairy ʚ(❛▿❛❁)ɞ

𖧷 Warning : Killing, Disembowel, Slaughtering, Killing in Public, Overprotectiveness, Mocking/bullying, maybe some misspelled word and yeah thats it.. i think. lmk if i miss anything. Reader Skin Color Is Not Announced

𖧷 A/N : Just taking a break yesterday, and now i'm writing again. hope you like it. and please give me reblog and feedbacks if you enjoy my writings :)

Enjoy Reading My Fairies ₊ ˖ ་ ݁٬ ࣪ ،♡ 🧚🏻‍♀️

𖧷 Billy Loomis

• He freaking love about the opposite vibration you both gave to each other

• would kill for you, not definetly, but obviously.

• first time he know that you're a no human he kinda freaked out a little bit

• he doesnt want to admit this but he really think that you're a cool person.

• you can grow flowers and nature and leaves and bla bla bla, thats freaking cool yk..

• would try to keep the secret that you're a fairy,

• although sometimes he cant help but let a few words about you leave out of his mouth making his buddies confused.

• but overall he really loves you and ESPESSIALLY the curves of your body... chefs kiss 💋

• really proud having a chubby flower fairy as his gf ₊ ˖ ་ ݁٬ 🧚🏻‍♀️💌

𖧷 Jason Voorhees

• thinks he doesnt deserve you.

• now dont get me wrong here, he freaking loves you and its a fact that you manage to bring the little jason out of his big mass body.

• but as we know, he's also a very very insecure boy :( so compare to your beautiful body he sometimes think he doesnt deserve you, and you deserve someone better than him.

• but you always make him feel better in bed where you make him feel so good it boost his confidence <3

• its only make him love you even more.

• and just like billy, he had no problems to disembowel anyone who dare to touch your hair in a wrong way,

• and given the fact that you're a fairy, he might get a little too overprotective of you, but its also because he love you so much and would love to keep the secret of you being a fairy tight-tight.

𖧷 Michael Myers

• he first think of you as a weirdo 😁💀

• but as times goes by, he also known the fact that you're not a weirdo, you're just simply a non human creature (unless you're actually a weirdo, that would be plus-plus <3)

• he thinks it cool of how you manage to make a flower bloom, to grow flowers with your power and ect..

• but since he doesnt talk, he just sometimes like, like he sees you 'performing' and then he just aggresively nodding at what you're doing.

• thats actually how he shows himself enjoying something.

• he also thinks your wings is a pretty combination with your chubby body.

• he would rather die than admitting this, but he is freaking love cuddling with you.

• and yes, he also had no problem to slaughtered everyone who talk down and look down on you.

• even if he had to kill everyone in a public place, in the middle of the city or whatever, he had ZERO problem.

• also since he doesnt talk, you dont have to fear about getting your secret spilled. and even if someone already like heared a little about you being a fairy, you best believe they're gonna be dead in just a few days later.

𖧷 Jennifer Check

• oh my god yk what?? this reminds me of like Lana del rey and Taylor swift friendship dynamic!!

• like she's the Lana del rey girl, and you're the Taylor swift girlie (unless you also like lana del rey just like me, it will also be a plus plus<3)

• REALLY REALLY PROUD having you as her partner.

• if someone mock your relationship with her because since she always view as an it girl or simply a 'perfection' it will be no doubt that you might get mock a bit.

• and when she find out about the fact that you're getting mocked by someone? oh god.. you best believe they're gonna be dead with their stomach ripped open.

• she gives zero fuck about their gender, age or status or whatever. if they fuck with you, they fuck with her, and you know what happen if someone fuck with her

• fuck with her is already bad, and now they want to fire it with fucking with you? nuh uh. honestly, not the best idea ever.

• and ok i know she's like very popular and she's also an extroverted lady, but she would try her best to keep the secret of you being a fairy.

• and since you both are non human, she didnt afraid to tell you what kind of creature she is.

• but she is, somehow, well not afraid, just worry that you might leave or hate her for eating a mankind.

• but overall, she's really love you and your talent, she might get a little envy about your talent or whatever, but that enviness will be quickly replaced by her proud nature about having a 'secret' flower fairy partner.

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irisintheafterglow · 4 months

Note

Hey!! Can you write some fluff hcs of katsuki taking you to prom? Thank u so much! 🥰

AAAAAA YES I CAN I LOVE THISSS fun fact i didn't get to go to senior prom because i got sick on the day of :(( but i love any excuse to wear a fancy dress !!!

cw: swearing, implied fem!reader but no she/her pronouns or descriptions, this got super long because i got carried away oops :)) hope you like this!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

alright let's be honest if y'all don't already know each other, there's no way he's asking first

he'll think you're super pretty but be too proud to break the tough guy facade and make a move first

buuutttt if you're already kinda in with the bakusquad then it's a little easier for him to ask

and by ask i mean just tell you that you're going to prom with him

you're sitting next to him in the common room doing homework and he just goes

"go to prom with me."

"huh?"

"go to prom with me, 'cause who the fuck else you gonna go with."

"you're a royal asshole, you know that?" and then you pack up your stuff and go back to your dorm and he's like wait shit fuck that's not how that was supposed to go fUCK

so then the next day he's like "go to prom with me."

"are you fucking serious-"

"please?"

and this man never says please so you decide to give him a shot

you've thought he was attractive since your first year but didn't think he would be interested

and then, when you became friends, it seemed abundantly clear that he was too busy training and going on missions to have a relationship

when really he's just terrified of losing you if you don't reciprocate his feelings

so after much convincing from the rest of his friends, he mustered up the courage to ask you tell you to go to prom with him

you already know he was in the group chat after the first attempt to ask you going like

"guys i fucked up"

"bakubro what did you do"

"i told them to go to prom with me and they walked away"

"i think you're leaving out a crucial part of the story"

"ok and i said no one else would go with them"

"dUDE"

"IDIOT"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT"

"I WAS FUCKING NERVOUS"

if you don't already have a dress, he's going dress shopping with you

sits in the waiting area of the fitting room holding a stack of glittery fabrics and doesn't give one (1) fuck about it

definitely the type to whistle under his breath when you walk out in ~the dress~

he has no idea what the fuck he's doing so he's a little,,,,abrasive when it comes to shopping with you

"you need shoes? let's get you some new fucking shoes, then."

"that color is hideous. choose something else because you're too good-looking for shit like that."

"d'you think this color would look good with my eyes? no? damn, harsh crowd."

on the night of prom he's 20 minutes early to pick you up

so he just sits on the floor of your dorm in his suit with his arm propped up on his knee while he watches you finish your makeup

he's mentally taking note of the products you use and the colors you like so if you ever ran out, he could get them for you

you come out of the bathroom and ask him how you look and he genuinely feels like he's suffocating because he can't breathe

after like 30 seconds of staring he just

"damn."

is attached to you at the hip for the remainder of the night

i'm not kidding

his arm is around your waist at all times unless you go to the bathroom or he goes to grab a drink

brags about how good you look at any chance he gets

"yeah, see that dress? i helped pick that out, assholes," he says with a shit-eating grin and the rest of his friends are like 👍ok bro

they know how big of a crush he's had on you so they're amused by how smug he is now

if you force him onto the floor to slow dance he forgets all sense of rhythm

keeps stepping on your feet

tells you to move even though he's stiffer than a wooden board

has no idea where to put his hands and can't look you in the eyes without turning bright pink

you kiss him on the cheek and he fucking freezes LMAO

turns over his shoulder and sees his friends with their phone cameras out like paparazzi (he doesn't mind)

asks you out properly at the end of the night and it's not just a command

instead of "get lunch with me sometime" it's

"get lunch with me sometime? if you wanna, you don't need to if you don't want to-"

and then you kiss him! to make him shut up! and he's a feely mess for the next three days straight until he sees you again

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#bakugo x you #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #katsuki x you #katsuki x reader #katsuki x y/n #bakugo katsuki x you #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x y/n #mha x you #mha x reader #mha x y/n #bnha x you #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #ask iris!

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breedable-bunnyblue · 5 months

Text

Uh idk how this works but i guess this is my limits or DNI list Plus introduction idfk

18+ only Blog

avatar is a picrew until i maybe draw something else up myself

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i have an amazon wishlist now, if you want to buy me anything I'll leave a tag to its location

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So uh hi im Blue , He/Him 22 submissive generally speaking.

I'm trans gay male do not post any of my posts on WLW blogs or any post involving women.

IM NOT A FUCKIN LESBIAN STOP REBLOGGING ME ON YOUR LESBIAN ACCOUNT/Mendonotinteract ACCOUNT FFS

Do not interact with my blog if:

you are a minor

you are a woman yes trans women that includes you. you are women. why do you keep asking me if you can interact 😭 (NBs/genderflud people are fine i keep getting asks)

you are WLW or are exclusive attracted to women

you are a Straight man

you are a Detrans kink blog

blank blogs are gonna get blocked

if you are any of those you will be immediately blocked just leave my account alone, if you dont list age or if you dont list anything in bio ect you will be blocked

Do not make any comments or asks or whatever about

R*pe/ SA

Scat or piss play

detrans/forced fem

knife play/gun play (at least not with actual cutting or anything that's an absolute no)

incest

pedo shit

zoos

( pretty much anything illegal or gross just keep it away from me ty)

Stuff im into

(R- receiving G-giving)

Breeding breeding breeding breeding 🥴🥴🥴 (r)

pregnancy in the way of getting knocked up or like roleplaying it for a scene but not actually wanting to get pregnant? if that makes sense 😅

Monster fucking

Cnc (r/g)

bdsm

edging (r/g)

public sex/public play (in theory never tried)

being tied up/restrained (r/g)

intoxication? / weed (in theory never tried)

Regency (prince/knight)

i think i have a mommy kink ☠️ (as in being called mommy ((but I AM MALE THIS IS NOT IN A DETRANS OR ANY OTHER WAY OTHER THAN FOR SOME FUCKING REASON MY DICK THINKS ITS HOT))

power bottoming if im in the mood

puppy doms/tops (i have a extreme horny fuckinf idEK it makes me really wet to think of calling a guy puppy)

daddy kink slightly but no DDLB/Age play (as in calling somone daddy PLEASE DONT CALL ME THAY DJDJSK)

pet names like Bunny, angel, kitten,ect are all good (you can try others with me if you'd like ill tell you if i dont like them)

slight doctor kink? (r)

hucow kink/milking but i dont post about it cuz im embarrassed the only way you get that out of me is DM or private asks (r)

sending nudes (srs if you want some just ask)

honestly itd probably be faster to just write things that dont turn me on

Asks are welcome though!! (pl EAs E) anon or not, feel free to send me messages there. 👉👈

*** general about me

like videogames (Bloodborne is my favorite)

music taste generally Alt or emo (MCR, Peirce the veil, low roar, the entirety of the Bloodborne soundtrack, idk i listen to a lot of music and just dont know the bands but vibe with it)

I have pets, if you want to send me animal pictures thats cool we can trade. (2 dogs, 3 cats, 2 parakeets)

i have chronic pain and migraines, lots of health issues but thats likely to stay off the blog unless i think of something horny about it.

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

#wishlist link #Me #<pics #monster kink #ftm ns/fw #mlm nsft #ftm nsft #send nsft asks #t4t nsft #send naughty asks #ftm breeding #ftm bottom #power bottom #ftm power bottom

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marvelouslizzie · 1 year

Text

unconventional methods - chapter 3

Summary: Bucky and Bunny finally find some time to talk and clear things up. Will communicating solve their problems?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator SHIELD Agent Reader)

Word Count: 7.6K

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, sex deprivation, touch-starved couple, pet names, oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering, p in v sex with no protection (both parties are clean and she’s on birth control), slight dirty talk if you squint, having a hard time to vocalize wants or needs, mentions of past trauma, mentions of forced sex work, overthinking, emotional support, no mention of y/n.

A/N: Once again, thank you so much for showing interest in this story. This is the last chapter but if you wonder something about this couple, if you want some headcanons or you have ideas about them, you can always send me a request. Not just about this story, don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question. Unless it’s a hate message. They are never welcome.

If you didn’t read the first or the second chapter, you definitely should before reading this one.

unconventional methods - chapter 1

unconventional methods - chapter 2

marvelous lizzie’s masterlist

Once again a big thank you to @notafunkiller and @es1dit for everything. They helped me so much. I can’t thank them enough for supporting me during this journey.

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission. Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

<<< Previous Chapter

As she promised, Agent Elvisa was waiting for Bucky at the SHIELD headquarters when he returned. Despite being tired and wounded, he was much calmer than before. Taking some time to reflect made him realize how harsh he was. He just felt betrayed and humiliated before, but after seeing what she had been working on, seeing those people suffering in the hands of HYDRA and having the privilege to help them made him understand this wasn’t about him. This whole thing was a critical mission, and they were just caught up in the mess.

The problem was that he didn’t know how to proceed anymore, but luckily Agent Elvisa approached him at the first opportunity.

“Hey,” Her voice felt so soothing to his ears. He always thought she had a silky tone, and enjoyed it in the videos she shared, but hearing it in real life was a completely different experience. Especially when they weren’t fighting.

“Hey.”

“You are bleeding.” Her eyes were fixed on his left eyebrow. It was a simple cut, one that would heal by itself, but she looked concerned nonetheless.

“It’s fine.” His response came instantly. “I will be healed soon.”

“No.” She shook her head, rejecting his oversimplification. “It needs to be cleaned.”

“Believe me, I have had worse wounds that healed by themselves.”

His response made her grimace. “You thought that would convince me, but it made it even worse.” She gently grabbed his arm and steered him to another room. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’m just gonna clean the cut, okay? I don’t wanna hear any complaints.”

It was impossible for Bucky not to smile a little. It’s been a while since someone was worried about him. The fact that someone cared about him enough to make a big deal out of a simple cut made him feel... cared for. That’s why he followed her without saying a word. Agent Elvisa made him sit down while looking for a first aid kit.

“We should talk,” she said while opening and closing some drawers.

“Is that why you insisted on cleaning the wound?”

“Yes and no. I think it should be cleaned, but I also wanted to talk. I’ve been thinking a lot since you left.”

“Me too, but I don’t think we should do it here.” Bucky didn’t want someone to eavesdrop. This was an extremely private thing to talk and SHIELD headquarters weren’t the place.

“Okay.” She finally looked back at him. “There’s no first aid kit here.”

Bucky looked around, making a point without saying anything. It didn’t look like this particular room would have any first aid kits.

“Fine.” She accepted the defeat. “You are right, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna give up. Wait here until I find a first aid kit.” She raised her index finger. “Do not move.”

“Yes ma’am.”

She smiled at him before leaving the room.

***

Bunny struggled to find the medical kit she needed, but when she finally did, she quickly made her way back. She stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard Natasha's voice when she got closer to the door.

“So that’s it?” She heard Natasha asking.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Natasha.”

“Just don’t hold this against her. She had no idea.”

“I’m aware of it. That’s not the problem.” Bucky sounded a bit defensive.

“Then what is the problem?”

“I just…” He stopped for a second. “I just don’t know what is real and what’s not anymore. That’s the problem.”

Hearing that last sentence just shattered her heart. She didn’t even know who he was until that video call yet he was questioning everything, every conversation they had. It made her feel like crap. Like he was no different from the men who treated her like shit just because of what she was doing. It was foolish of her to believe that he was different.

Harshly, she pushed the door all the way and stormed inside. Bucky and Natasha looked in her direction, completely blindsided by her presence.

“Oh, hey. I was just talking to–” Natasha tried to talk, but she didn’t even glance in her direction.

“You don’t need this.” Slamming the first aid kit on the table, she looked directly at Bucky. “You don’t need me and believe me when I say, I don’t need you. I just wanted to talk and make things clear, but now I understand that’s not what you want at all. I don’t need to explain myself to you. I don’t need convince what part of me is real. If you're questioning this... this thing between us or what we shared, you can go to hell.”

Her rage caught them off guard. And before he could say anything, she stormed out of the room. Bucky and Natasha stared at each other, feeling completely lost.

“Go after her, you loon!” Finally, Natasha snapped him out of his shock and he quickly took her advice. When he finally caught up with her, she was about to hop on her motorcycle.

“Bunny!” Hearing him call her Bunny again made her stop.

“What?”

“What the fuck was all of that?” He looked confused and angrier than before. “You are gonna tell me to go to hell and just leave?”

“I heard your conversation, Bucky. What’s there to talk about if you think some things we shared weren’t even real.”

“I didn’t say they were not real.”

“You said you don’t know what was real and what was not.” She repeated what she remembered from their conversation.

“I’m just confused, okay? I didn’t do this for a long time. Why do you think I started to follow you to begin with? I’m socially awkward and anxious. I’m clueless and after learning about your mission, I’m confused. I just don’t know what to think anymore.”

“I waited for you to return. I tried talking to you back there and you didn’t want to. And then I come to hear that you are questioning what was real. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I didn’t say I don’t wanna talk, did I? I just didn’t want anybody else to hear what happened between us.”

His explanation made her stop for a second. “Then why didn’t you just say that?”

“I just told you. I’m awkward and anxious, okay? But I do wanna talk. I wanna understand. I’ve just come from the mission you’d been working so hard for. I saw how important it was. I understand this whole thing wasn’t about me, but you have to stop and think about how things look from my perspective when you say this was just a mission for you. I deserve some explanation. I think I deserve that much.”

He was talking much calmer than before, trying to explain what he thinks. It made her notice how different things could be from his side. He simply had no clue. Just bits and pieces.

“Fine, let’s talk then.” She sighed deeply. “Your place or mine?”

“Yours. Mine is a mess.”

***

It didn’t take them long to arrive at her place. Bucky couldn’t help but look around carefully the moment he stepped inside. It was a small apartment with a single bedroom. The door was open, so he could actually see inside her private space and nothing seemed familiar. Which made him realize she did not do her photoshoots here. None of the content she shared was taken here. Nothing besides the photos she sent him privately. From day one, he was allowed to see her, in a vulnerable state, in her own home. If that wasn’t a sign of trust, what was?

“Do you wanna drink something?” Her question brought him back to reality.

“I don’t think so.”

“Maybe a glass of water?” She suggested, thinking he must be exhausted from the mission.

He answered after considering the offer. “That would be good actually.”

She quickly made her way to the kitchen, drinking a glass of water herself and then bringing him another. Bunny was sitting across from him when he finished drinking.

“So… What do you wanna know?” She asked as Bucky places the empty glass on the coffee table, getting right into the conversation.

“I just wanna know…” God, there were too many questions on his mind, but nothing was more important than this one. “Why did you start talking to me?”

“I answer almost every DM. It was a part of my mission: finding potential HYDRA hunters.” Her answer disappointed Bucky, but he just nodded quietly. “Yet I don’t keep talking to every one of them. I told you before.”

“You told me you end the conversation when it gets too far.”

“Yes, I don’t entertain people in my DM’s. I just try to act like a normal adult content creator so they won’t suspect anything.”

“Is that what you were doing when you answered me?” Bucky wanted to know more details. He wanted to learn what changed and when.

“I was just answering a cute DM and you kept talking to me, differently compared to others. You were concerned while they were just wondering about the lack of content. I was sick, and feeling lonely. It was a huge mistake sending you a photo, but I’m lucky it didn’t jeopardize the mission. If it was someone else, it could’ve been a big problem. Not only HYDRA hunters, but there are also stalkers you know…” She noticed he was getting concerned about her safety. Then she quickly added, “Most of them are just shooting their shots, trying to see if they can score with me or if they can get some private content.”

“Right.” He sounded so uncomfortable, thinking about how hard it must be.

“I’m good at detecting when they try to steer the conversation that way, so I do something before it’s too late. And you…” She took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts. “You never tried to do that. You kept talking to me like I’m a normal human being. You asked regular questions. I wondered how long it would take you to say something inappropriate, and you never did.”

“And that’s why you kept talking to me.”

“Yes. I liked talking to you. And then I found you extremely hot.” Bucky gave her a puzzled look. “When we exchanged photos.”

“Oh, right.” Extremely hot? he wondered, but didn't say it out loud.

“Talking to you was the best part of the whole operation, other than finally catching those bastards. You made my days bearable. I was looking forward to talking to you, getting to know you while trying not to get too invested because god knows how many married men use those platforms.”

“Best part of the operation?” Bucky repeated her words, his tone indicating he was having a bit of a hard time believing that was possible.

“I was lonely, Bucky. Isolated. Mistreated. After a long time, someone was talking to me like a normal human being. He was also a good-looking guy as far as I could see. I just let myself enjoy it, it shouldn’t be a crime.”

“I enjoyed it, too, you know.” He was trying to take everything in. “That’s why it hurt so much when I saw you in that meeting. I was shocked.”

“I didn’t expect to see you in that meeting. If I’d known, I would’ve talked to you during the video call. I was sure that we’d have time to speak face to face and explain that this was a mission, but you were the real part of this for me.” She was getting emotional, but she tried to hold her tears back. It was really hard to explain herself like this because she was always blamed for most of the stuff. Especially what happened to her in the past when she was captured by HYDRA. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. Just believe me, it was unintentional.”

“I wish you just explained everything to me when you saw who I was.”

“I was scared,” she admitted. “I was talking to my work crush the whole time, without knowing. I was afraid to mess it up. I thought you would get mad when you learn that the whole thing was an undercover operation and I’d lose my chance to explain everything.” She took another deep breath, trying to calm herself down. The fear of rejection was growing in her belly. A part of her was certain all the clarifications in the world wouldn’t be enough to make him stay.

“Bunny...” She tried hard to hide her tears, but it was in vain. It was no surprise that Bucky noticed them right away. A second later, he moved right next to her, closing the distance between them. “Are you crying?”

“No.” Even though it was obvious, she tried to deny it at first. “I’m fine.”

Bucky gently touched her face, afraid to startle her, then carefully wiped a tear away with his thumb.

“Please, don’t cry.” His hand remained on her face, and she leaned into his touch immediately. “Especially not because of me.”

“It’s just...” Bunny sniffed. “I know I ruined everything. No excuse will be good enough to fix things.”

“What are you talking about?” He was still gently caressing her cheek.

“I know that… you won’t forgive me, Bucky.”

Her words were clear enough, but it was the way she said those words that broke Bucky. Her pained voice and watery eyes… The realization finally hit him. She was really afraid of losing him. She actually thought they wouldn't be able to put this behind them. She assumed he would just decide to move on with his life after clearing things up. That was the exact same thing he was worried about all this time. He thought Bunny didn’t need him, that she could just continue her life without him.

He had no idea how long it had been since he felt someone actually cared about him this much and wanted him to stay after everything that happened. The feeling of being wanted by her was strange but so very welcome.

“You didn’t.” He slowly closed the distance between them, and his lips lightly brushed against hers. For a second, she had a bit of a hard time registering what’s just happened, but when she finally did, she started to kiss him back. He moved his lips as if he was afraid to break her, but in reality, he was afraid of his own reaction. It had been so long since someone touched him or kissed him. Her lips moving against his own made him whimper. He had no idea what to do with his hands, while Bunny angled her head a little and deepened the kiss. Her lips started to move more hungrily, letting out low moans as she kept on tasting him.

Bucky closed his eyes and let himself go. He was so lost in this, he didn’t realize Bunny was moving until he felt her weight on top of him. He opened his eyes just to see her wrapping her arms around his neck as she was tightening her legs around his torso. His head fell back, his mouth gaping as he let out a deep moan. Feeling her whole body pressed against him was simply too much.

“Touch me, Bucky.”

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, but it was the hardest thing he’s ever done so far. Looking into her eyes, he tried to get used to their proximity and her softness. His hand slowly moved back on her face, fingers gently grazing her skin as he tried to convince himself this wasn’t a dream. Bunny closed the distance between them and started to kiss him more hungrily than before. Lips moving fast, tongues and teeth cluttering... Bucky’s hands moved down to her neck, then to her collarbones, and kept on moving until he settled them on her waist. His mouth moved to her neck, slowly nibbling to see her reaction. Bunny’s loud moan was enough to make him start tp suck on her skin.

“God, please…” She sounded so desperate. “Please touch me.”

Bucky tightened his grip on her waist, reminding her that he was actually touching her, but that wasn’t enough. Impatiently, she grabbed both of his hands and pushed them against her breasts. All he could do was just blinking a couple of times before squeezing them a little bit harsher than he intended. He was so afraid of how rusty he would be at this, but Bunny let out a satisfied moan, proving him wrong. That was all he needed. His warm hands left her breasts, just to slip them under her top, making her gasp. Her skin was soft and welcoming as he moved them up to her breasts again.

“Can I?” He lingered on her bra, wanting it off. She nodded eagerly.

It took him several tries to finally unclasp it, but Bunny didn’t offer her help, just waiting for him to get rid of it. As soon as it was unhooked, she removed her top and bra simultaneously, revealing her bare breasts. He looked mesmerized by her like he didn’t see her naked before, and it made her smile.

“Remember when you were talking about my nipples?”

“Yeah?” Bucky’s eyes didn’t leave her breasts, not for a second.

“You can do all of that now.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He cupped both of her breasts, perking them up. One hand was colder than the other, but she didn’t care one bit. If nothing, that was proof the man in front of her was Bucky Barnes in flesh and blood and not a wet dream. He leaned in and started to leave soft kisses at first, then his lips wrapped around one of her nipples, and his tongue swirled around. He took his sweet time as if he was tasting the most delicious dessert on earth. He used his free hand to massage her other breast as he kept licking her nipple. Unable to control her reaction, her back arched.

“Oh fuck!” Everything he was doing with his tongue was sending waves of pleasure through her body. She could feel the wetness starting to pool between her legs. She was more ready for the next step. His rock-hard erection poking at her core made it even harder to stay in control. She started to move her hips, trying to get a little friction, and that finally made him break away from her nipple. The loud wet sound caused her to bite her lower lip, his hands quickly wrapping around her body before he unexpectedly stood up.

“What are you doing?” She sounded so surprised, and Bucky chuckled in response. Her legs tightened around his torso while he started to walk towards her bedroom.

“Taking you to bed.” As soon as he was done speaking, he dived back into her neck, kissing her lightly while walking.

In a few seconds, Bucky layed her gently on the edge of the bed, and she quickly raised herself up on her elbows to watch him grabbing her pants and underwear without losing any time and tugging them down. He looked at her with utter hunger while trying to convince himself this was really happening. Slowly he kneeled, gently placing his hands on her tights, and looked up at her.

“Can I taste you?” How he asked this question felt like he was asking for a glass of water after a long day.

“We can do that later, come here.” She wanted to feel his skin against hers, already missing his warmth.

“I promise I will do whatever you want, just please, let me taste you first.” The desperation in his voice was making it hard to say no, so she nodded. For a second, he looked like a kid on Christmas morning, giving her the biggest smile.

Bucky’s hands slowly moved on her legs, trying to feel every inch of her. The motion was also helping him to ground himself. Slowly he leaned in, but instead of doing what she was hoping for, his lips landed on her thighs, leaving a wet trail of kisses. As time passed, the wetness started to drip from her center, making it even more evident. Not only could he see it, but he could also smell how intoxicating it was.

Finally, when he was satisfied with his work, his tongue lightly brushed directly against her clit. They both moaned at the same time for different reasons. While she was electrified by the feeling of his tongue, he was getting lost in her taste. It was so good, he couldn’t help but lick a couple more times in a row like he was starving.

“Fuck, yes!” She whined as the pleasure started to spread. “Oh god, yes!”

Bucky was busy licking her from bottom to top, and every time his tongue brushed against her clit, Bunny was making the most delicious sounds. Unexpectedly, he pushed both of his hands under her ass and pulled her close to his mouth.

“Bucky!” Her yelp amused him, but he didn’t stop. By focusing on her clit, he was able to deepen his licks and elevate the pleasure by flattening his tongue against her clit fast. This new sensation made her legs buckle, and she grabbed his hair way more harshly than she anticipated.

“F-fuck, Bucky. Keep going, p-please.” He had no intention to do otherwise. As his tongue continued to work, Bunny kept on begging. “I-I’m close. Please, don’t s-stop!”

When she finally reached the climax, her entire body was burning with pleasure. She was mindlessly moaning and gripping his hair as he continued to work through her orgasm. After a while, her hands let go of his hair, and that’s when he started to slow down.

“Are you okay?” His chin was resting on her lower tummy.

She took a deep breath before answering. “I’m more than okay.”

Before moving his head back between her legs, Bucky chuckled. Her eyes instinctively lowered when she felt the shift just to see him pushing his middle finger inside her without any warning. She jerked back while gasping for air.

“Bucky!”

“What?” He asked with a smirk. Before she could even open her mouth to respond, he started to move his fingers, and whatever she was going to say did not matter anymore. Soon, his finger was already soaked with her arousal, so he didn’t wait long to add the second finger.

“Shit, Bucky, this feels so good.” She moved her hips up to increase the friction as she spoke.

“Stay put, doll.” His metal hand settled on her tummy, pushing her down as gently as possible. “Just let me…” He thrusted his fingers harder than before, pressing against the upper walls.

“Oh my fucking god…” She cried out while he felt how she started to squeeze his fingers. She was getting closer, but he wanted this orgasm to be much better than the previous one. After licking his lips at the thought of tasting her again, he leaned in to give her another lick. Suddenly, Bunny’s hand was back in his hair, gripping harder than before.

“Yes, yes, yes. Bucky, yes!” He wanted to smile so badly, but he had something more important to do. As he continued to lick her, he added a third finger, hoping this would push her over the edge. The way she moaned was the most sinful thing he ever heard, and he was already dying to hear it again. He kept moving his fingers quicker and felt her grip tightening in his hair.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, Bucky… Please, don’t stop!”

He wanted to say he won’t, not until she comes again, but he couldn’t. He knew better not to change anything when she was begging for more. Bunny's second orgasm ripped her apart as he kept moving his fingers in and out relentlessly. She kept repeating his name like prayer until the pleasure turned into overstimulation.

“Oh my god,” She spoke after taking another deep breath. She felt like she was floating as her recent orgasm still made her lightly jerk a little. When Bucky finally removed his fingers, she trembled one more time.

“How are you feeling?” She felt Bucky moving onto the bed..

“Great.” She had a huge smile on her face, which made his heart swell with pride.

Bunny jumped on top of him as soon as he lay next to her. Although he was surprised by the sudden change, he moved his hands to her hips and began to caress her.

“I think it’s time to get you undressed, Sergeant Barnes.”

For the first time, she saw how her words affected him up close as his gaze changed into something darker. She kept on looking in his blue eyes while she leaned down and gave him a kiss on the lips before bringing her mouth right under his ear.

“Will you take your clothes off for me, Sarge?” The way she was talking sent shivers down his spine.

“As you wish.”

Bucky rolled her over so suddenly, she couldn’t even understand what was happening until her back touched the mattress. He quickly stood up and started to undress under her glare. Her eyes focused on his upper body until it was time to take his boxers off. His erection sprung out, and she could already feel her mouth watering at the sight.

“Is this better?” He raised both of her hands with a smile on his face.

“Much better. Now come here.” She gently patted the empty space right next to her, and he silently obeyed. As soon as he sat down, Bunny was all over him. She gently pushed him down. Her hands slowly moved down to his body, enjoying how his skin felt against hers. Firm and warm. She drew circles with her hands, caressing the same places over and over again until Bucky couldn’t help but moan at the sensation.

“You like that, baby?” The way she was speaking, that fucking tone… God, he was melting inside.

“Yes.” He breathed out. “So much.”

“Want me to touch you more?”

He nodded so eagerly, Bunny couldn’t just look at his beautiful face. She leaned down to give him a kiss. His hands quickly wrapped around her body, pulling her closer. It was messy and wet until Bunny moved her lips to his cheeks. He huffed with disappointment, but she didn’t stop. She covered his face with kisses. He felt her soft lips on his cheeks, eyelids, and jaw until she decided to move to his neck.

“I need more,” Bucky whimpered as she kept kissing.

“Tell me what you need.” Her hands were moving on his chest, fueling his hunger.

“More. More of everything.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but it had been such a long time since he was touched like this. He was craving for more, it didn’t matter what. “Just… touch me.”

Her fingers grazed over his nipples, making their way down as she opened up a bit more.

“What if I…” She gently wrapped her hands around his cock. “did this?”

“Ohgodyes.”

Bunny slowly moved her hand with a smile on her face. “What about this?”

He choked on his words, just letting out an unintelligible sound.

“You like that, don’t you?” He managed to nod as she kept moving her hand up and down. Before he could even realize it, she moved all the way back. When she removed her hand from his hard cock, he wanted to protest, but the moment he looked down, the sight of Bunny between his legs welcomed him.

She didn’t say a word, just looked into his eyes before lowering herself and taking the tip of his cock into her mouth.

“Oh, fuck!” His head fell back onto the mattress.

Her tongue swirled around the tip, grazing over the sensitive spot. Her wet mouth and her hot tongue were driving him crazy already. He could feel the pleasure bottling up.

“Bunny…” He hardly managed to say it out loud. She didn’t stop, just looked up to see his pretty face. “Baby, you gotta stop, please.” The words came out as if he was in agony. She had no choice but to release his cock.

“Am I hurting you?” Her wrinkled brows were enough for him to understand how truly concerned she was.

“No, no, no. God, no.” He quickly tried to explain. “I just… don’t wanna come inside your mouth. Not this time. It has been a long time. Very long. I just wanna feel you come around my cock as I come. Is that okay?”

The relief on her face turned into a smile. “It’s more than okay.”

“I don’t have a condom with me though.”

“I’m clean and on pills.” He knew what that meant and the question she wasn’t vocalizing.

“I’m clean, too, according to the regular SHIELD check-ups.”

“Great.” She bit her bottom lips as she moved closer to him. “So what now?”

Once again, Bucky wrapped his hands around her and rolled her over.

“This is turning into a habit, Sarge.”

“You have any complaints?” His playful tone put another smile on her face.

“Nope, not yet.”

“Not yet? Hmm…” He didn’t say anything else, just grabbed his cock and looked back at her to see if she changed her mind, but instead, she was staring at him with wide eyes and parted lips.

Bucky rubbed the head of his cock between her folds and her slick arousal started to cover it. After a couple more rubs, he finally pushed himself inside. It took only one swift thrust and he was all in.

“Fuck, baby.” He gasped at the sensation as his head fell down on her shoulder. It was so overwhelming to feel surrounded by her wetness and warmth. So intense. “You feel so good, my god.”

When he pulled back to look at her, Bunny’s hand went to his face. She pushed a strand of hair that fell on his forehead.

“Are you okay?” The question came after standing still for a while.

“I’m good, don’t worry about me.” Bunny’s dismissive answer didn’t sit right with him.

“You are my main concern, all the time, okay? Tell me how does this feel?” His voice was so soft and caring, she didn’t even realize she was tearing up. “Please, tell me I’m not hurting you.”

“You are not.” She quickly wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. “Nobody ever asked me that. That’s all.”

Bucky cupped her cheek with his flesh hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Her bittersweet smile made him want to kill every single man who recklessly hurt her.

“Just tell me to stop if you don’t want something, okay, doll? That’s all I am asking from you.”

“I will try.” She gulped down. “It’s gonna be hard, but I will try.”

“Maybe we should stop.” He didn’t wanna push her to do something she wasn’t comfortable.

“No, no. It’s my problem. Sometimes… I have a hard time vocalizing what I want or don’t want.”

“Do you want this?” Bunny eagerly nodded. “I need you to use your words.”

“I want this, Bucky. Please move.”

He slowly and carefully started to move. “How is this pace?”

“It’s good. Very good.” Her words made it clear that she was enjoying it, but the way she said them… moved something inside him. It was full of need.

He couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and starting to kiss her as he kept moving. Quickly, it became really messy. Lips crashing, tongues dancing, hands moving all over… In the blinking of an eye, she was on top of him, desperately moving her hips against him. It didn’t take her long to shutter. Watching her orgasm so up close was something else. The blissful expression on her face, her open mouth, and the way she was moaning mindlessly stunned him.

“God, you are so beautiful.” His thumb moved from her cheek to her bottom lip. He closed the distance and gave her a hungry kiss. His tongue brushed against hers, making her moan again. “I don’t think I can hold back more.”

“I don’t remember asking you to hold back.”

Bucky tilted his head while pursing his lips. “True, but you didn’t have to.��

Bunny started to rock her hips again as she talked. “Please, stop holding back. Stop being so careful. I’m not made of glass.”

“I know that.” The way she was moving made it hard for him to speak. “God, tell me, what position do you want next?”

She didn’t say anything. Instead, she moved away from him and lay down on her back on the edge of the bed. Bucky silently followed her, and in a second, he was back inside her as she pulled her knees back to her chest.

“Does this feel good?”

“Yes.” She seemed pretty content. “Just put some pressure on my legs.” As soon as he did that and started to move, they both felt the difference. It felt like she was much tighter than before and he was touching all the right places.

“Oh, fuck.” Bucky growled. It was much harder to hold back.

“Faster, Bucky, please.” She pleaded, already feeling drunk on pleasure. As he fulfilled her request, her moans became erratic. “Yes, yes, yes!”

“God, I’m so deep inside you.”

“It feels so good. Please… Please, baby, faster.” Her words encouraged him to finally take what he wanted. He started to pound into her. Long yet fast thrusts started to consume her. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Bucky, Bucky…” She gripped the sheets, trying to keep her eyes open.

“God, look at you.” He couldn’t take his eyes off her. “My pretty girl, look at yourself. Taking me so deep.”

“Oh, fuck, fuck Bucky!” She took a deep breath. “You are gonna make me come again!”

His response was a loud groan, finally feeling free to come himself.

“Yes, let yourself go, yes.” He keeps talking between thrusts.

Bunny’s eyes roll back with pleasure, her legs trembling while she lets out a cry. He keeps fucking her through her orgasm, thrusting harder than before and allowing himself to follow her. Bucky let out the most broken cry she’s ever heard coming from his mouth as he started to come, but he didn’t stop. He kept on thrusting, ignoring the feeling of overstimulation until she was done coming.

He pulled himself out with a hiss, and neither of them said a word as they lay together. They feared they'd spoil such a blissful moment, knowing there was other stuff they needed to discuss. Bunny began to feel cold as their breathing returned to normal, so with a quick movement, she got under the duvet, keeping it open while looking directly at Bucky. She was silently offering to cover him as well, and he didn’t wait to comply. When he finally settled in, they were facing each other.

“Can we stay like this? Just for a while?”

“Of course, we can.” Bucky wanted nothing more than to just stay in the bed with he, in their own bubble. And they did for a couple of minutes, but little by little, reality slowly filtered back into their minds as the fog of their orgasms got lifted.

“Just so you know, just because we had sex, it doesn’t mean everything is perfect now. We have a lot to talk about that we haven't figured out, but I still want you to stay.”

“Believe me, I know, but we can figure it out together.” A smile spread across her face. That was all she wanted to hear.

“Sounds like a good plan.” Bucky moved his hand over her exposed arm. It was a thoughtless movement, but his touch helped her relax. After a couple more strokes, Bucky felt some kind of patterned bump on her skin, and as he explored it, he instantly recognized it.

“Is that…” His question remained unfinished because he already knew the answer.

“A property tattoo.”

“Property of HYDRA?” The words came out like he couldn’t believe it.

Bunny squirmed uncomfortably. It was never an easy topic for her, but there was no way out of this conversation. Maybe it would be better to talk about it now. Like pulling a band-aid off.

“Do you remember when I said maybe I can tell you how I can be so sure about you one day?” Bucky nodded, remembering what she said when she first saw his face. “I guess that day is today.”

“I think I already know what you are about to say.” It was clear. Bunny was the property of HYDRA for god knows how long and somehow she managed to get out of it. “Look, we don’t have to talk about it now if it makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know that, but I want to explain anyway.” Bucky narrowed his eyes. “And it’s never easy to talk about this. So…” Her voice was trembling as she was talking.

“I’m ready to listen, whenever you want.”

Bunny took a deep breath, trying to brace herself. “I was captured by HYDRA when I was young.” The sentence came out as a whole like she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to finish it if she didn’t hurry up. “I was forced to be a part of their human trafficking network… satisfy clients to bring more money or please the higher-ups so I can stay alive. It went on like this for years until one day… I was in the right place at the right time.” She rubbed her face, trying to focus on her words instead of the lump in her throat so she could continue. “That day, SHIELD was attempting to capture some higher-ups and… I happened to be there just because someone requested my presence. Can you believe that? That was all. I was lucky enough to get saved by Nick Fury.”

“And you wanted to help the ones who weren’t lucky enough.” Bucky finally started to put the puzzle pieces together. He couldn’t believe she also suffered at the hands of HYDRA, already feeling guilty that he couldn’t be the one to help her.

“Yes. Director Fury helped me. He even gave me my name, Elvisa. Do you know what it means?” Bucky shook his head. “It means safe.”

“Because you were finally safe.” Bucky felt the weight of the word as he was speaking. This time, Bunny shook her head in agreement. That name meant a lot to her.

“I am so sorry, doll. So sorry I didn’t notice why this case was so important to you. Why you said you can’t always express what you want during sex.” He felt like shit because finally, her harsh reaction at the SHIELD headquarters was making sense. He wondered how many people in her life thought she was just faking stuff.

“How could you even know, Bucky? You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong.” Her eyes were watery, but she did not cry. All this time, whenever she talked about this, tears would fall down, and she had no intention to let that happen again. She wanted to stay strong. She wanted to prove to herself that she was healing.

“I wish I could-” Bunny already knew what he was about to say and she didn’t let him finish.

“No, there was nothing you could do to save me earlier. Even if our paths crossed, you were a captive yourself, remember?” Focusing on Bucky was helping her to surpass all the emotions she was feeling.

“Sometimes I think I just could’ve done more… Maybe I could’ve save myself and others… Others like you.” He sounded so broken, and Bunny couldn’t take it. She grabbed his face and forced him to look into her eyes.

“Stop torturing yourself with maybes and what-ifs.” Her voice came out harsher than she intended, so she tried to soften it as she went on. “What’s done is done. We can’t change the past, but we can shape our future.” Bucky nodded, still looking emotional. He knew that, but he couldn’t help but think about how different thing would have been if he could have just broken free. If he’d been strong enough… Bunny noticed he was getting lost in his thoughts and tried to get his attention. “Just focus on the present and the future, okay?

“It’s not that easy.” Bucky finally found his words to answer her.

“Believe me, I know, but we have to try. Just stop for a second and think about what you want your future to be like. Try to imagine how different things can be.” Bucky didn’t know how to keep his focus on the future. He’d been living day by day for so long, not daring to think about what the future might bring because a part of him was afraid that the moment he started to think about it, the moment he let himself hope for a future, everything would go down in flames.

“I- I don’t know.” He sounded completely lost.

“Just one thing. Tell me one thing you want in your future. That’s enough for now.” She tried to simplify it as much as possible. “That should be enough to keep your focus on the future.”

After thinking for a second, Bucky finally came up with a response.

“I want to have you in my future.” He wasn’t sure if he was crossing a line or not, but he didn’t feel like keeping that thought to himself. “Is that okay?”

A warm smile spread across her face. “I think we might be able to arrange that.”

***

In the middle of a boring day at work, Bucky found himself at a co-worker's birthday party after doing a lot of boring paperwork. He would rather be at home, cuddling his favorite girl, but they compromised on stopping by the party first and then cuddling at home. Normally, nobody could persuade him to socialize like this, especially since he had much better options, but Bunny was another story.

Not only that, but this time Bucky actually knew whose birthday it was, and instead of hiding in the corner, he was chilling on the big couch, with his arms around Bunny’s upper body. She was restin her head on his shoulder while talking to another agent. Although he didn't know her name, he saw her talking to Bunny numerous times. His assumption was that they were in friendly terms with each other.

Since their conversation was about a minor work misunderstanding, he didn't pay too much attention. Besides, his focus was slowly drifting toward Bunny's warmth more and more, just thinking about all the things he could be doing if they were at home. They both agreed on keeping a civil level of PDA at events like this, meaning there would be no doubt that they were a couple, but nothing inappropriate.

Bucky wasn't sure when their relationship had become public knowledge in SHIELD, but they were able to express affection for each other gradually. It wasn’t like they were ever trying to completely hide their closeness. They just tried to keep it as lowkey as possible. But it was a hard task since Bucky grabbed her arm after that meeting. People were nosy and wanted to know what happened between them, but somehow Bunny managed to dodge their questions. Bucky’s experience was much different than hers. Except for Natasha and Sam, he couldn't recall any particular moment when he was asked about his relationship with Bunny. Not that he would ever call her Bunny around co-workers. That was a private nickname. She was Agent Elvisa and he was Sergeant Barnes whenever they were at work.

I guess they put two and two together, he thought, not knowing that most of the people were actually afraid to ask him a personal question like this.

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky's attention was caught by her wary tone.

“Of course.” Bunny raised her head, but didn't move away from his touch. His arms were still around her body.

“I don’t think you’ve ever told the story about how you two actually met.” God, she must be really curious since she is asking this nervous as fuck, Bucky thought.

They both knew it was only a matter of time before people started to ask about their relationship and how it all started openly. Everybody knew they had two different divisions. It wasn’t likely for them to work together for an extended period of time or see each other regularly. That was why they came up with an acceptable version of their story. Not a lie, but not the complete truth, either. Just something that gets people off their backs.

“Oh, that was Natasha’s doing.”

“Really? I didn’t think Natasha Romanoff would be a cupid.” She was genuinely surprised.

“Oh, you have no idea how nosy Romanoff can be.” Bucky couldn’t help but comment for the first time. As he spoke, the girl's eyes moved towards him in surprise.

“She is only nosy when it comes to her friends, and I guess she just had a feeling about us.” Bunny quickly explained in a cute tone.

Her words made Bucky look into her eyes. They didn’t know if it was just a feeling or if she was just simply bored, but they were grateful nonetheless.

taglist (I tried to tag everyone who showed interest in chapter two. If you would rather not be included please let me know.)

@geminiflanagansblog @sadg1rlsei @lia-winther @nanikio @barnesboo1967 @chinaza444 @kaitlin013106 @ryanmxrie @steverogers-wife @weaselbeedisneygeek @tilltheendofthelinepal9950 @happyxdayxbitch @marvelogic @wintasssoldier @buckybarnessimpp @marvelsbitchh @alright-i-guesss @almosttoopizza @rabbitrabbit12321 @cookielovesbook-akie @whalien52bbgrl @cjand10 @scifinerd1818 @dellalyra @capswife @netherqueen23 @beware-my-thorns @freegardenbanananeck @iamstevessmile @raven1234321 @divadinag @noisesinthedark @amanda-says @ozwriterchick @sleyeveryday @arsonfrogger @lfaewrites @alana4610 @splendidreads @acatwriteshere @weirdothatwritess @spider-boyy @shelbygeek @doublevirgogirl @tarotwitchy-main @r02eg0ld @raelorns21 @amberpanda99

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clownrecess · 10 months

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Hi! My son (9) uses an AAC device at school to help him communicate and for teachers to communicate with him. Do you have any advice for parents?

I'm sorry if this isnt very organized, I'll just be listing off and talking about what I wish my parents and adults around me did when I first started using AAC.

I also apologize for the kinda sorta late response. I haven't been doing too well lately, and I also wanted to make sure I said everything in this post how I wanted to say it. Those two things combined slowed down the process a bit.

1. AAC is not a language. However, it functions a lot differently than the oral version of the language that is being used at times, and I feel like thats important to recognize. AAC grammar doesn't need to align with "typical" oral grammar or speech patterns. As long as (most) others can understand what's being communicated by the AAC user, trying to get them to add in words like "The" really isn't necessary. Of course if they want to develop more proper grammar and more language that is super cool. But a lot (of course not all!!) of AAC users I've spoken to, including myself, find it really frustrating when people try to slow down and make it harder for us to communicate by adding in extra words. If its understandable, and the user doesn't want to, it isn't necessary (I also do want to add that I personally do use proper grammar most of the time, but a good portion of the time I don't.).

2. "Encourging the user to use their device" does *not* mean ignoring them when they don't, and/or telling them to "use their words". All communication is good communication. Pointing is good. Body language is good. Drawing pictures is good. Etc. Encouraging use of an AAC device in a good way means making sure it is always available, making sure the user knows it is an option, that the user knows how to use it, and that you respect the device *FULLY*.

3. Oral speech should not be the goal unless the AAC user wants it. All communication is equally good, and favoring oral speech is ableism. If the AAC user WANTS to use oral speech, then that is super cool and then there can be a goal of developing and/or improving their oral speech. If they haven't made it clear that it's something that they personally want, don't try to force it.

4. Stickers!! This one is more silly than serious, and of course it's up to the user, but if they want to put stickers on their device, allow it. Its cute!

5. ACCESS TO VOCABULARY IS IMPORTANT. Limiting someones language to "Eat" "Drink" "Bathroom" "Mom" "Dad" "School" or similar is not okay. I've seen someone on YouTube who didn't even let their kid have a "no" button. I fully understand that not everyone is capable of using complex language, and for a lot of AAC users, only having simple words and an easier to navigate (by having less options) device is important. And that is PERFECTLY OKAY!! But what isn't okay, is assuming one is incapable of using more language than "eat" and "drink". If they can not communicate their wants and needs when they understand that, they need more buttons. If that means starting to SLOWLY add a little more, that's okay.

6. Be patient. AAC takes longer to use than oral speech does. Even if the time we are taking is frustrating, don't show that. And yes, this includes guessing out loud what we are going to say by trying to finish our sentence whilst we are still typing (unless the user has expressed this is okay with them.).

7. Make sure teachers and other people know not to take away their AAC device under any circumstances! Doing so is the equivalent to duct taping someones mouth shut or removing their vocal chords. It's scary.

That's all I could think of. If other AAC users (not parents of them, not friends, etc. ONLY AAC USERS) want to comment or reblog with more tips that would be greatly appreciated! <3

#tw ableism mention #actually autistic #neurodivergent #autism #aac user #nonspeaking autistic #nonspeaking #aac device #disabled #aac users #nonverbal #speech loss #actually nonspeaking #actually nonverbal #actually mute #level 2 autism

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tavyliasin · 3 months

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Baldur's Date Open Creative Challenge!

Artists, Writers, Creators of All Kinds!

You are cordially invited to join a creative challenge!

You must be 18 years old or over to join, but there will be 2 categories, one for SFW works and one for NSFW works!

Accepted Submission Types

Please note all works must be your own and not made using any AI, including AI RP bots for writing.

Art

Comics

Valentine's Card

Fiction

Drabble collection (series of short fic, 1-5 paragraphs each)

Poetry

Song lyrics

Full songs/music

Podfic (With agreement from the fic writer)

Cosplay (No Nudes/NSFW/Explicit please)

Other Crafts (Puppets, embroidery, paper figure cut outs - whatever you like!)

For the Rules and More Details, please see below! Credit to Morb for the new event banner!

Welcome to the Baldur's Date Challenge!

Please be aware this event will include spoilers to characters, storylines, and endings, as well as NSFW content. Proceed with care!

The idea is to create something themed around a Date or Valentine Event. It doesn't even have to be romantic or positive, there are lots of ways to take this from Valentine's Cards from characters to slow burn romance to fully brutal heartbreak and violence. The choices are yours!

The Rules

By participating, even in the SFW version, you agree and confirm you are 18 years old or over.

All creators retain full rights to their works, subject only to the conditions of the platforms they share them on (ie, AO3)

Submissions must contain at least one named character from Baldur's Gate 3

Submissions must also be based around a date, valentine-type event, or similar

AUs, non-canon, alternate versions of characters are all WELCOME

You may choose your own prompt, or use the quiz to help you decide!

Poly Romance Welcome

Characters only, no actors or real people, other than using "Reader Insert" with 2nd person writing styles.

All works must be tagged appropriately for any CWs (please ask TavyliaSin for a list if required)

All characters must be 18 or over in the game as well as in the work you create

No characters in romantic relationships are to be related to each other.

Trans and gender-swapped characters are welcomed, unless it is only for the explicit purpose of making a canon homosexual couple into a heterosexual couple (eg, making Aylin a man so that the relationship with Isobel is straight)

Deadline is 10th Feb to allow for time to check entries

Collections will go live just before midnight on 13th Feb so they are ready to be viewed on Valentine's Day

If you would like to help with the event running, please contact TavyliaSin on Twitter, Discord, or anywhere else you can hunt her down~

Dead Dove and controversial topics, kinks, and characters are allowed but must be properly tagged to give people a choice of what they engage with. This also means there is to be no shaming - Tavylia would like to support all creative works even ones she isn't personally fond of or would avoid.

How Do I Join?

You can either send your submissions directly to the AO3 Collections, or if you don't have AO3 you can wait until 14th Feb and reblog/retweet the posts I'll make for the collections on the day to add your contributions. It's open to EVERYONE who is 18+! Join in, give it a try! Submissions on AO3 close on 10th Feb 2024 (just before midnight GMT/UTC 0) so please try to get things in on time to be on AO3 so we have a few days to accept and check submissions. The collections will go live on 14th February for Valentine's just around midnight UTC0/GMT

Select "Post to Collection" to add your work! All works will be hidden until the collection releases on 14th.

Are there any Prompts?

Yes! Aside from the general theme there are prompts for art and writing (and anything else) on the following google form. You can roll dice to decide for you as each question has numbered answers and instructions on the dice to use! But you don't have to stick to the result you get - choose what you like. You don't even have to roll dice at all if you don't want to, just take a look at the selection for some ideas and choose what's interesting in it.

You can enter as many pieces as you like, so please use this to have fun and enjoy yourselves~

If you have any questions please drop them in comments, or contact me anywhere you can find me~

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #fanfic #fanart #creative challenge #AO3 collection #open challenge #open collection #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #baldurs gate fanart #valentine challenge #valentines day collection #valentines day creative challenge #baldur's date #come and join in!#this post will be reblogged once or twice a week til the end date as a reminder~

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azukiel · 5 months

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Nightfall Heir

Chapter 4

🔞 MDNI 🔞 NSFW

Warnings (as a whole): Explicit sexual content, Graphic descriptions of violence, PTSD, Angst, Blood kink, Pregnancy and Childbirth

Notes on this chapter: Fluff with Gale, banter about sex, relationships and periods. Also, I'm kind of on a roll with writing this story, I've already written chapters 5 & 6. I will try pacing out the posting of them 😅

⭐Here is the story on Archive of Our Own ⭐

🔥Comments and reblogs are much appreciated! 🔥

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking the streets of Baldur’s Gate with Gale by your side was not the strangest sight. In fact, the people of the city were more accustomed to seeing him walking with you and the other members of your group than without.

“You’re looking radiant, my dear,” Gale began, his tone laced with curiosity. “Did you and Astarion have a good evening?”

“You could say that,” you replied, attempting to suppress a blushing smile.

“You know,” he began, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. “When I first saw the two of you together, I was somewhat shocked, to be honest. You didn’t seem the type to go for someone as, well, uninhibited as Astarion. But you complement him well.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Indeed.” he nodded, a knowing smirk spreading across his face. “And I must say, you’ve had a very positive influence on him. He’s mellowed out. Not as bloodthirsty. He’s become, dare I say, domesticated.”

“Domesticated?” You laughed, raising an eyebrow. But not as bloodthirsty? Well, you thought to yourself, you were still allowing him to feed on you.

“Yes,” he chuckled. “A star-crossed vampire and his drow companion. Who would have ever imagined?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you began, a sly grin spreading across your face. “Lae’zel and Halsin seemed to have their suspicions back in the day. And it doesn’t surprise me in the least that Lae’zel and Astarion still get into their bouts of verbal sparring. You’d think they’d get tired of it, eventually,” you shake your head, chuckling. But suddenly a dull pain cramped your abdomen. Flinching, you let out a small groan, rubbing the area where the pain was throbbing the strongest.

“For fuck’s sake, now of all times?” You grumble to yourself.

“What’s the matter, my dear? Are you in pain?” Gale was quick to notice, as was his usual.

“It’s nothing,” you lied. “Just a bit of a cramp.”

“Are you sure?” His concern was apparent.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” you brushed him off, trying to alleviate his worries. “Probably my monthly visitor is going to grace me soon. Perfect timing, as always.” You rolled your eyes with sarcasm.

“Ah, well, I’m afraid I can’t offer much assistance with that. Unless, of course, you require a some feminine hygiene products?”

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Gale, really?”

He held his hands up defensively. “I like to see myself as an honourable man,” he declared. “And so I endeavour to look out for the women in my life.”

You chuckled, “I’m not sure how honourable a man who walks in on his friend pleasuring herself in the bath can be, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

He shrugged. “You should have had the door locked, then.”

“I should have,” you agreed, and shook your head, still laughing.

“But I think I may actually need some tampons,” you grinned nervously. You could feel a slight wetness at your junction but could not tell if it was remnants of your carnal thoughts from earlier or not.

“Shall we detour to the apothecary?” Gale offered, concern for your wellbeing still riddled on his face.

“Do you mind?”

“Absolutely not, my dear! We can’t have you bleeding through your clothes, can we?”

You flushed, embarrassed. “No, definitely not.” Thank the gods you were wearing a long, dark skirt.

“So,” Gale started after a moment of slightly awkward silence. “With Astarion being a vampire and all...” He trailed off for a moment.

You knew where this was going to lead, but did not stop him.

“What, Gale?” You asked, side-eyeing him.

“Well, does he drink your... You know...” He made a crude gesture.

“Gods, Gale, really? I thought we were mature adults?”

He flushed, embarrassed by his sudden crass inquiry. “Forgive me, I forget myself sometimes. I truly overstepped. Especially having walked in on you before.”

You snickered and patted him on the shoulder to reassure him. “It’s alright. I’m just joking. I think the lot of us have grown close enough with each other that talking about such things is now considered normal.”

Gale chuckled nervously at your words. “True.”

“And to answer your question,” you continued, “No, he doesn’t. The thought hasn’t crossed our minds. Well, if it has crossed his, he hasn’t said anything,” you shrug. “But that does not mean we don’t have sex on my period. I find myself... particularly ravenous just before and during it. He, too. Perhaps because he can smell all the blood, being what he is and all that. And he... does bite me sometimes when we are making love.”

“Oh?” Gale was intrigued by the notion.

“Yes,” you confirmed.

“Dare I ask where?”

“You’re a curious one today, aren’t you?” You teased.

Gale flushed. “Sorry... I just find it... intriguing,” he admits. “Obviously, I’ve never slept with one of the undead.”

“No, but with a goddess?” You elbow him playfully.

“And look how that turned out.” He rolled his eyes sarcastically. “So, are you going to indulge me? Or should I stop prying?”

You shook your head, laughing. “He sometimes bites my inner thighs, my breasts, neck, wrists... the usual places.”

“Usual?” His eyes widened. “I won’t even begin to imagine what the unusual places are!”

You laugh and slap his back affectionately. “We really need to get you laid, Gale. You’re getting far too curious for your own good.”

He shrugged innocently, blushing again. “Well, since losing to Astarion, I haven’t had any luck with women,” he poked you in the ribs.

You were surprised by this notion. “I thought you and Shadowheart had a thing going?”

He sighed, almost dolefully. “We sort of do, but it’s just that she’s so busy taking care of her parents now that they have reconnected. I would hate to come between them.”

“I understand your sentiments, my dear Gale, but I am sure the poor thing could use some ‘distractions’ as well. Her parents seemed to like you when we all met them. And besides, I am sure she would appreciate any assistance you could offer her with their care.”

“Yes, they are lovely people, and I am thankful to have been given the opportunity to meet them,” he nodded, and his expression softened.

“They’re proud of her,” you stated, “And they are grateful to us for giving her a chance. If not for her joining our little posse, I doubt she would have been able to break away from the clutches of Shar.”

“No, I don’t think she would have,” Gale agreed.

“But enough about me, let’s get back to talking about you and Astarion,” he smirked, and you chuckled at his persistence.

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Gale,” you began. “Our relationship is pretty typical, for the most part. We make love, we bicker, we argue. We fuck again.”

Gale almost choked at your colourful use of words.

“How blunt!”

“It’s called being honest,” you countered.

“Still,” he sighed, “you and Astarion have something special.”

“I would certainly hope so,” you smiled, blushing, looking back down at your ring. Gale noticed your affectionate gaze upon it.

“And with those, it is like you’re a married couple!”

Though he was only jesting, his quip caught you off guard, causing you to chuckle nervously.

“Yeah... well...” It was not like marriage had never crossed your mind, at least. But Astarion’s? Neither of you had ever breached the topic.

“Don’t worry, my dear, I’ll say no more,” he grinned.

“Good,” you smiled in kind.

“Ah, here we are!”

Looking up, you saw the apothecary just ahead. You sighed with relief. The wet feeling was indeed becoming... more apparent.

“Thank you, Gale, for being so understanding,” you smiled appreciatively, patting his arm.

“You are most welcome, Tavrin. Now, please, allow me,” and with a gentlemanly flourish, he opened the door but was courteous enough to wait for you outside.

“Such a gentleman!” You cooed as you stepped into the establishment.

“Only for you, my dear,” he smiled, and shut the door behind you.

The inside of the apothecary was filled with an abundance of herbs and spices and various medicinal potions and ointments. The scent was not unpleasant, however. It was rather heady and soothing. Once you paid for your feminine items and some herbal teas to help with your cramps, you went back out to where Gale was waiting patiently for you.

“All well?” He asked you with a smile.

“Yes, but I think I might need a new pair of panties,” you flushed.

“Come to think of it, I am fairly sure our old pal Lorroakan had some trunks of old clothes lying about. I am sure I spied some women’s garments when I was trifling through the stuff he left for us to plunder.”

You chuckled. “Thanks, Gale. I want to be freshened up before I meet Astarion at noon. So, we better hurry up with our cataloguing.”

“We’ll make good time. I promise!”

With a grin and a playful nudge, the two of you began your walk towards the Sundries.

#astarion #astarion daddy #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion has a child with Tav #astarion my beloved #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #gale fluff #gale dekarios #bg3 gale #Nightfall heir #bg3

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spacedykez · 2 years

Text

So You Want To Watch Lifesteal

It’s happened. You’ve been seeing your mutual/followed blog reblog posts about this SMP called “Lifesteal” that apparently has some sort of gay clown? You’re intruiged. Well, couldn’t hurt to check it out, right? Maybe the gays got to you. Maybe you’ve seen the crystal demon. Maybe you’ve just seen some sick art. Whatever it was, you’ve seen something that prompted you to go “huh. maybe i should check this thing out!”

Now you’re wondering- so how do I watch this thing? Where do I start? What’s it about? Never fear! You’re in exactly the right place! Here’s the post that will walk you through how to get started watching this Lifesteal SMP thing (and maybe joining in Tumblr’s collective brainrot).

What Is Lifesteal? Let’s start with the basics. Lifesteal is a Minecraft SMP- okay. Maybe not that basic. I’m sure you know the drill. So what’s the “thing” with Lifesteal, then? What’s it all about?

Lifesteal’s premise is that when you die, you lose a heart off of your permanant health bar. This one!

Now here’s the twist that makes it fun: when you kill another player, you get their heart. So if you’re both on ten hearts, and you kill someone else, their healthbar will drop to nine and yours will increase to eleven!

This is why you see so much heart imagery in fanart, and why if you see screenshots/watch videos, their health bars are rarely at ten hearts. Pretty simple, right?

Yep, mostly. Some other things you should know about the life system are that players can choose to “withdraw” their hearts, which means they remove hearts from their health by choice. They appear as nether stars in a player’s inventory. This feature is typically used for trading hearts (although usually a little more... violent) and giving hearts to allies- hearts can be stored and thrown like normal items, and a player can use the item to add a heart to their health bar (the item will vanish from their inventory).

And of course once you reach zero hearts, you’re banned from the SMP. That’s it, it’s over. Unless someone chooses to revive you. That’s pretty rare though, so mostly 0 hearts = death!

But in the cases where players are revived, it’s with the use of a special item that looks like a beacon, crafted with 4 nether stars, 4 hearts, and an elytra. Hearts in this case can function like nether stars- you can use 8 hearts and an elytra to craft the beacon. It’s very expensive, which is why it’s not used often.

Okay, great! So where do I start watching? So first, you’ll want to know that Lifesteal has four seasons so far- no! wait! don’t let that scare you off! please come back! Phew, okay. You’re still here? Alright! I was just about to tell you that you don’t have to watch them in order, don’t worry! You can start on Season One, but you really don’t need to. Most people start on Season 3 for The Gays™️ or Season Two for Clownpierce.

The most common recommendation you’ll see for new viewers is to watch Clownpierce and Branzy (yes, they’re the gays your dash won’t shut up about). Branzy doesn’t appear until Season 3, though, and he only has 6 Lifesteal episodes (find them here). Clown’s been here a bit longer, and you can find his videos here. Oh, and here’s the s3 branzypierce playlist.

What’s Branzypierce? Branzypierce, also known as Clownzy, is the ship name of BranzyCraft and Clownpierce. They’re the most popular ship here in the fandom, because it’s basically canon. I wish i was joking. Just. Click this.

But if you’re not interested in just Clown and Branzy, or you’ve already watched them and looking to find more people to watch, then keep on reading! There’s plenty more below. Before we get into it, if you want a list of s3 events and how to watch them, look no further than this post. And keep in mind, most Lifesteal videos are self-contained enough that you can watch them without prior knowledge! You almost don’t even have to watch anyone’s series in order from what I’ve found.

Starting us off, just. Ashswagg. Communism and God. I really can’t explain him to you just please go watch it. It’s only three videos I promise.

Okay, okay, now go HERE to find more channel recommendations. I would link them below, but it’d just be copying the post. my personal advice: rekrap for escapes, clown for pvp, parrot for strategy, yeahjaron for minecraft farms, reddoons for capitalism, ashwag for communism/god, and branzy for the gays! have fun!

Side note: I would not reccommend you start with this, but if you want to here is all of S3 in order!

And oh, hey! Exclusive, just for you! Here’s a quick post with other fun duos besides Branzypierce!

What about Season 4? You may have noticed that all the links led to S3 playlists. Good job! That’s because S4 has just started and there’s not much content. Before you get into S4, you should know there’s a new system implemented that limits the armor and tools players can get- info here.

Now how to watch it? The s4 playlist, or go here! It’s got everything you need. There’s not much so far, though, so I wouldn’t try to watch it if you’re just looking to get into Lifesteal in general! Watch s3 to get content!

Do any of them stream? Yes! Not all of them do, but there are a good few Lifesteal streamers. First up, ItzSubz has Something going on over there, so go check that out. And Don Turnt streams Lifesteal fairly often. Not sure if any of the others stream regularly, but here’s the list of all their channels!

Alright, so where do I go for Tumblr content? Woo, you’ve been dragged in! You’ve checked out a couple videos! Now please, step right up to a list that is rapidly growing as Lifesteal skyrockets in popularity here on Tumblr!

Looking for incredible art? Our two main dedicated and amazing artists are @kishdoodles and @ghostpajamas, who are probably responsible for dragging most of us here (/lh! thanks guys! you’re awesome!)

If you have questions or want to know more about Lifesteal, I’d reccommend Ghost and @branzypierce, who I will never stop promoting as our resident experts. I’ve heard @rendogdomesticated also knows quite a bit, especially when it comes to Subz!

(a/n: please add onto this list! the four users i’ve linked are the blogs i know of who i see posting Lifesteal content and who know more in-depth information about Lifesteal. I will add more blogs to this list, and I’m very sorry if I missed anyone!)

That’s it, folks! I’m sure more information will be added to this post as is needed! Anything I should add? Let me know!

#lifesteal smp #lifesteal #resources #the otter splashes #please oh my god this took so long #pacific's hit posts #the otter advertises

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unparalleled-delusion · 1 year

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Pardon the burner account, but I refuse to do this from my main as to avoid actual harassment from the gaggle of individuals participating in this nonsense.

The Situation.

@hlghlycorroslve , @catfire13, and co. have been childishly publicly vaguing and hounding @lyss-butterscotch for a "stolen Unparalelled Innocence design." After claiming they "attempted to resolve this privately" they took to making a public callout post, linked here.

I'd like to also preface this with the statement that I don't know Lyss. I don't even follow her. I am not her friend, or her, doing this. I am also not associated with anyone who has made any public comments about this situation. Do not implicate ANYONE in the name of this blog. I am someone who has seen your actions from afar and found you rude, alienating, and overall just bizarre.

The Design.

Everything about these two designs are almost entirely different. Yes, they both wear ponchos. But when half of the iterator population wears ponchos, you cannot act like you're entitled to your design wearing a poncho. Especially when they have significant design differences, and the entirety of the rest of the outfits are completely and wildly different. Yes, Hicor originally made their UI purple long before the concept of purple UI became dubiously canon, but even the concept of a pale purple belonging to Hicor and Hicor ONLY is just not true.

The concept that Lyss stole Hicor's color palette also just doesn't hold true. Yes, they are similar by virtue of both being purple, but again, purple UI is especially not exclusive to any one person after Downpour.

Lyss commonly uses desaturated and/or pastel colors for her designs. It makes complete and total sense for Lyss to have desaturated the bright neon purple on the new overseer to match the rest of her designs palettes.

Admittedly, the antennae are the only part of this argument that holds any weight. Yes, they share similarities, like the fact that they both have three points. That is about where the similarities end. The silhouette, color, and everything about the antennae is completely different. The only thing they share is that there is 3 of them. This argument completely loses all of its weight when you put these two designs side by side and realize just how actually different they are. There are more differences between both designs than similarities.

Rain World is a very art oriented game and community. Especially when it comes to a character with no canon defining characteristics, it's normal and common that artists are going to find inspiration in their fellow peers. Inspiration is not a crime. The inspiration is derivative enough that it's not theft. None of this is theft.

The Conversation + Posts.

In the callout post, catfire13 shares screenshots from their private messages with Lyss concerning the situation. After approaching the situation by immediately claiming that Lyss was stealing someone's design, catfire is still intentionally vague about the entire situation even when trying to directly communicate with Lyss. Previously, catfire and co. had spent the past day making vague posts about Lyss, spam-reblogging them, and going into a popular Rain World fan-community server to vague and badmouth Lyss even before having contacted her.

(Although this is a public server, I am censoring those responding to catfire unless they are directly involved in this situation. There is no reason to include these people by name in this conversation.)

Catfire also made a post about this situation on their OC sideblog about the situation BEFORE they ever contacted Lyss. This screenshot was taken after Catfire had finally contacted Lyss, but the original post was made before.

While not directly saying Lyss's name, this is still a public callout. You are still publicly vaguing and calling someone out, even without saying their name. As well as being completely wrong in your final comment, by the way! Lyss has never once stolen art. Why you decide to paint Lyss as an art thief specifically is beyond me, because that is a straight up lie. Catfire, Hicor, and their gaggle of friends all spam reblogged this post, and other vague posts, multiple times while leaving cruel comments in the tags.

You were having people in your inbox leaving threatening messages to Lyss without even knowing the entire situation, which now that you have made a public callout post that paints Lyss in a highly negative light for no reason, I wonder where these threatening messages are going to end up?

This image from the callout post highlights so much, but says so little. You are demonizing Lyss for not knowing what design she was supposedly stealing from before you gave her a single hint as to what you were talking about, of course anyone would be confused in this situation. You use Lyss's initial confusion turned confession into being inspired as if she confessed to committing a federal crime. You hold onto her phrasing of "color shift" so hard because you have no arguments without it.

You also rag on Lyss for the redesign "not being good enough" and as far as we're aware, you made no further contact with Lyss to express your dissatisfaction with the redesign. May I remind you, in your OWN screenshots, that Lyss makes a comment about changing the design until it's separate enough. There was nothing stopping you from approaching Lyss again and stating that you still felt like they were too similar, but you didn't do that. You resorted to making a public callout that makes you look incredibly entitled and foolish.

Conclusion.

You do better. You and your friends want to talk about respecting artists and what they make but you clearly have no respect for Lyss, or a majority of Rain World artists anyways. You point out that Lyss is a "post-downpour" artist for no reason, and many of this groups blogs are filled to the brim with posts and tags about how much they detest new Rain World fans, how they don't respect them, or how they even flat-out dislike them. You are not entitled to anything because you've been a Rain World fan longer than other people. Stop going on the Fandom website and complaining when there's Fandom.

#rain world #unparalleled innocence

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2dmenenthusiast · 4 months

Text

"I love you."

(Ryan Lucan x Gn!Reader)

Hey heeyyyy um disclaimer this one is DEPRESSING. I wrote this every time I felt a lil sad so like, I am basically pouring my soul out to yall lmaooo but I hope some of you find comfort in this fic if you relate at all, and remember that you are loved :)

Reblogs and feedback is always encouraged and appreciated!

Words: 3k

Summary: feeling lonely and cooped up in your apartment, you call Ryan in the middle of the night to help quiet the racing thoughts in your head.

Warnings: talks of depression, self-hate, anxiety, just a whole lotta sad, Ryan loves you so much

1:30

2:03

2:47

Your head lolled to the side as you checked the time again.

3:15

A groan left you, bringing your hands up and dragging your palms over your face. Exhaustion tugged at your eyelids, urging you to close them and doze off. But every time you tried, you just couldn’t. And you had tried everything. Counting sheep, drinking tea, watching some relaxing videos. Nothing seemed to work. Throwing the blankets off you, your bare feet touched the cold wood floor as you padded over to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. You quickly felt bile rise up in your throat and choked the water down, spluttering out a cough and spitting into the sink. God, you felt like shit.

It had been like this for the past couple days. You’d stay cooped up in your small apartment, never going out unless it was for work, and you’d lay in bed, feeling like absolute shit for just laying around, but feeling too tired to do anything else. Tired, yes, considering the fact that you could barely catch more than three hours of sleep these past couple nights.

Tears of frustration sprung and you quickly wiped at your eyes, mentally scolding yourself for how silly you were being. Christ, some days you just felt like you were suffocating, like everything happening around you was just too much to deal with. And there were moments where you wished you could just sink into the floor, and never be seen or heard from again.

But not tonight.

The loneliness you felt was overwhelming, desperately wanting to reach out and talk to one of your friends, but feeling too ashamed to burden them with your frantic thoughts and shifting emotions. You knew they were worried about you. They would place their reassuring hands on your shoulder and give you that look, that single expression that always asked the same thing.

Are you okay?

And you’d give them that simple halfhearted smile, lips twitching up in a small effort to lie to them.

I’m okay.

With trembling hands, you searched for your phone on your bed and scrolled through your limited contacts, lip pulled between your teeth as you contemplated who to reach out to. You were hyper aware of the sound of your own heartbeat, and you tentatively pressed on Ryan’s name, thumbs hovering over the phone's keyboard. It felt like minutes had passed as you contemplated what to say, frantically typing a sentence before quickly deleting it, and typing up another one. You deleted it again, and again, and again. Nothing sounded right, and you were too worried about sounding desperate or clingy.

You eventually gave up and threw the phone on the bed with a frustrated sigh, crossing your arms over your chest and pacing back and forth.

He’s probably sleeping anyway.

But you couldn’t stop staring at your phone, the thing practically screaming at you to pick it back up. Your thoughts fought with one another, everything threatening to come spilling out all at once. Before you could scream out your frustration, you snatched your phone back up and jammed your thumb on the call button. You heard it ring, once, twice, and hung up before the third.

Fuck, what am I doing?

You pressed the call button again.

Ring.

Ring—

You hung up.

“This is stupid. God, this is so fucking stupid!”

Taking a deep breath, you called him again, frantically tapping your foot and bringing the phone up to your ear.

Please pick up. Or don’t pick up. Either is fine. Fuck, do I want him to pick up? This is stupid, this is fucking stupid, I’m fucking stupid—

“Uh, hey?”

Your eyes widened at the sound of Ryan’s groggy voice, not believing that he actually answered, and you struggled to find your voice.

“You there—?”

“Hey! Um— sorry, I just… Did I wake you?”

There was a moment of silence on his end, and you knew that you had.

“No! No, I was just uh, reading. You know, nature stuff.”

You couldn’t help but grin at the thought of Ryan staying up this late just to read about plants and animals, as if he didn’t already know everything about them.

“Wow, sounds riveting.”

He chuckled, and the sound had your chest feeling warm. Neither of you said anything for a moment, not sure how to continue a conversation at almost three-thirty in the morning. You almost hung up, too embarrassed to admit why you called when you heard him clear his throat.

“Uh, is there a reason you called so late? Is everything okay?”

You spluttered for a moment, hand rubbing the back of your neck as heat uncomfortably crawled over your skin. “Y-Yeah! Yeah, everything’s fine. Just uh… you know.” You cringed at your awkward behavior, pressing the edge of the phone against your forehead. “Sorry, I— this was dumb, I shouldn’t have called. I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“Wait, wait. Hold on.”

You sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed and playing with a loose thread on your blanket as you waited for him to continue. Great, now he was definitely going to know that something’s wrong.

“Hey, you know you can talk to me, right? Whatever’s bugging you, you can tell me.”

You and Ryan had been dating for the past five months, and while you undeniably felt more comfortable around him than you ever had another person, you had never let him see this side of you. This version of you where your brain was constantly on overdrive, overthinking every little thing, your breath always catching in your throat from the overwhelming anxiety that built up in the pit of your stomach. You felt like you were standing on the outside, looking down at yourself. And you loathed it. And while you wanted to confide in him, you felt like you couldn’t. Ryan was a constant positive in your life, and you didn’t want to muddy it up by letting your gloomy thoughts and feelings interfere.

But god, you were so tired. While you could usually power through it, the weight of the loneliness and frustration you felt was almost crushing, and your hand curled into a fist at your side as your jaw clenched painfully, the tears from earlier resurfacing.

“Um, c-can I see you? It’s okay if you don’t want to, I know it’s really late and you probably just wanna sleep. But I just- I didn’t know who else to call, a-and I know I’m probably just being stupid and—”

“Hey, you’re not stupid, okay? I’ll be over in a little bit.”

Your eyes slightly widened. “Really? Like I said, you really don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I want to. I want to see you.”

You bit down on your bottom lip, softly sniffling as you quickly wiped at your eyes, and you hoped that Ryan didn’t catch onto the fact that you were crying. “Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in ten, alright?”

You hummed into the phone before hanging up, shoulders slumping as you placed your hand against your forehead.

It’s fine. Everythings fine.

Rifling through your drawers, you took out a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a loose fitted shirt, throwing Ryan’s flannel that he left at your place over it, and catching a small whiff of his scent. The familiar smell of the outdoors and amber was almost comforting, and you found yourself pressing your cheek into your shoulder to get a better smell.

Ten minutes couldn’t have gone by fast enough, and you were racing down the steps of your apartment as soon as you saw the headlights of Ryan’s truck in front of your building, not wanting to spend another second without his presence. He was in the process of unbuckling his seatbelt when you threw open the door and hopped inside, slightly surprised at how frantic you were.

“Oh, I was gonna come up. I thought—”

“No. No, I just— I need to get out of there,” you muttered, slowly looking over at him and witnessing as he carefully examined you, a mix of confusion and concern in his gaze. “Can we just drive around for a little bit?”

He paused before nodding, putting his seatbelt back on and pulling out of the parking lot. The silence that settled between you wasn’t as awkward as you felt it would’ve been, but it still left you unsettled, your fingers fidgeting as you wracked your brain for something to say. As you opened your mouth to finally speak, your thoughts were cut off when Ryan reached over and lightly tugged at the sleeve of his flannel, sending you a small smile.

“You know, I was wondering where this went.” His hand slid down your arm, intertwining his fingers with yours and giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

You flustered at his touch, head leaning back as your body slumped down in the seat. “Hey, I didn’t steal it this time. You left it. As well as one of your shirts, and your toothbrush. I think I have some of your underwear in my laundry basket.”

“Oh, come on. Like there isn’t an entire drawer I cleaned out specifically for your things back at my place.”

“Wow, a whole drawer? You really know how to spoil someone, Lucan.”

He just glared at you while you sent a large grin his way. His hand moved to your thigh, pitching the area under your knee that had you squealing and shifting away from him, frantically slapping his arm.

“Hey— Ow! You’re gonna make me crash,” he laughed, no longer pinching your flesh, but his hand remained, thumb stroking back and forth over your thigh.

You hummed, leaning towards Ryan and resting against the center console, eyes trained on his face. There was always something about him that made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. His voice, his touch. Hell, Steph told you once that you looked like some lovesick fool when she caught you mindlessly staring at him. How couldn’t you, though?

Ryan cast a quick glance at you, lightly squeezing your thigh. “Whatchya lookin’ at, hm?”

You smiled. ”You.”

“Oh, yeah? Is my face that interesting?”

“Mhm. You’re pretty.”

His eyes widened a fraction as his face visibly flushed, and you couldn't help but laugh as he awkwardly cleared his throat, hand squeezing the wheel.

“I, uh… Glad you think so.”

“Oh, I know so.”

He scoffed and shook his head, your hand fondly resting over his. It was moments like this that you were grateful for. Where you could forget your burdens, even if for only a second. Ryan’s presence was always a fast-acting cure for when you felt like this. Numb and rotten. Like you wanted to crawl out of your own skin because every sensation feels so fucking wrong and uncomfortable. But it was tolerable with him at your side.

The silence in the truck was almost deafening, the ringing in your ears getting increasingly louder as the seconds went by. You were anxious to turn on the radio, flicking the knob and—

Oh, you’re shitting me.

“For the love of god, please tell me I’m not actually hearing this right now,” you said, voice on the verge of laughter as your hand dragged over your eyes.

You could hear Ryan sigh over the melodic chirping coming from the radio, and he reached over to shut it off. “You remember what I do for a living, right?”

“Oh, I can guarantee with almost a hundred percent certainty that you were not listening to that for your job,” you laughed, throwing your head back against the seat.

“And so what if I wasn’t, huh?”

Your laughter died down into quiet giggles, and you leaned over the center console to press a quick kiss to Ryan’s scruffy cheek. “Well, I think it’s cute. Even if it is a bit dorky.”

He swiftly grabbed your hand when you pulled away, tangling your fingers and bringing the back of your hand to his lips. The action sent a tingling down from your fingertips, through your arm, and right into your chest. It was almost overwhelming how he made you feel sometimes. He touched you so gently, looked at you like you were the only person in the world. And you loved him with every breath you were worth.

Closing your eyes, you leaned your head back and listened to Ryan fiddle with the radio until he tuned in to a local station, a gentle melody you think you might’ve heard twice before overtaking the silence in the truck. You could hear him humming along after a moment, the deepness of his voice reverberating in your ears and sending pleasant waves washing over you. You didn’t need him to say anything or try to reassure you with positive words or gestures. He didn’t have to spend his time expressing his love for you in any physical or emotional ways, despite his overbearing want to. No, his presence next to you was comfort enough. To just know that he was within arms reach, his touch and his comfort readily available, that was more than enough.

Your eyes cracked open, and the headlights illuminated a lone road you’ve been on many times before.The overwhelming want to go somewhere different was ever present in your mind. Familiarity was always something you could cherish. The same street signs, the same buildings, the same people waving at you as you walked the same path to work. And you couldn’t deny that Haven has always and will always be your home. But, you desired change. Craved it in the most desperate way.

You longed for different sights, the unfamiliarity of a brand new space. You wanted to learn the names of new streets, be able to barely make out the faces of people you’ve just met. Go to a recently opened cafe and try to pick out what your regular favorite would be. The mundanity of it all seemed unreachable almost. Like a life somewhere else would be forever unattainable and would remain as remnants of a dream in your clouded mind.

You felt trapped. Your tiny apartment was your safe space and your prison, this town you loved so dearly something you could never escape from. You were stagnant— stuck. With life moving at a snail's pace, and going by all too quickly at the same time. Yet, you remained. This place remained. This same, complacent existence.

“Have you ever thought of leaving Haven, Ryan?” Your voice sounded almost unfamiliar to you, so used to just sitting in idle silence.

He huffed out a breath, glancing at you and shrugging. “Can’t say I’ve put much thought into it. Why? In the mood for a little road trip?”

You know he meant it as a joke, maybe he thought you were joking. But, he had no clue the weight of reality his words held. Because yes, you would leave Haven right now if he wanted to. You’d tell him to stop the truck only when it ran out of gas so you both could get far away. But you knew Ryan would never agree to that.

This was his home.

The place he grew up, where all his fondest and saddest memories were shared.

He would never leave them behind.

“Hey.” He squeezed your hand. “Where do you keep going, hm? What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?”

“A lot, I guess. Feels like someone else is in there screaming at me right now.”

A pregnant pause, and then—

“Anything I can do to quiet it?”

Your bottom lip sucked between your teeth, biting down hard until the skin tingled as your eyes burned with tears. Fingers curling around Ryan’s hand, your nails lightly dug into his skin in some lame attempt to ground yourself, to keep yourself from vomiting your guts out in his truck. A silent tear rolled down your cheek, and you felt the car shift whilst he pulled over.

“Hey, hey.”

There were hands on your face, gently tugging to get you to look at the man beside you. He was gentle, far more than you deserved as his thumbs wiped away the wetness on your skin, and you wanted nothing more than to hide away. You pulled out of his grip and leaned forward, burying your head into his neck and sliding your arms around his waist under his flannel coat. His warmth seeped into your clothes and settled deep in your bones, your tears wetting his shirt and his hands rubbing up and down your back.

You could spend hours like this, crying your soul out in the front of his truck as he held you. It was painfully blissful, like the hurt didn’t matter because he was here to ease it.

“Tell me what to do. Tell me how to make it better.”

You shook your head, arms tightening around him as your heart lodged itself in your throat. He was so fucking nice. So caring and considerate. It made you want to scream, because when was the last time someone made you feel like this? Made you feel so overwhelmingly valued and loved? He had given himself so selflessly to you, and you were ready to throw yourself at his feet in return.

“Just this. This is enough.” you muttered, and he pressed his lips into your hair.

“I love you, you know?”

You did know. How could you not with the countless ways he constantly showed it?

“You deserve to be loved.”

A quiet whimper escaped your throat, and you only burrowed further into him, arms tightening around his middle.

“You sound so sure of that,” you said, voice weak and shaky. Fuck, you felt so pathetic.

He muttered your name, gently pushing you back so he could hold your face and brush his thumbs over your tear stained cheeks. You leaned into his warmth, and a part of you wondered if this was real. If he was real. You were almost sure if you pinched yourself, you would wake up in your cold bed, and reality would be so much worse than your blissful dreams where Ryan Lucan was the center of them all.

If it was a dream, you never wanted to wake up.

“I’ve never met someone who gives so much of themselves without needing anything in return. You are the most caring, selfless, amazing person I’ve ever met. And I care so much about you.”

The praise and reassuring words were so unfamiliar, you almost didn’t believe it. But this was Ryan, and he would never lie to you. So, maybe he was just a bit delusional.

“I don’t know if any of that is true,” you said around a wet chuckle, trying to get your tears under control.

Ryan shook his head. “It’s facts. Don’t ever doubt how much you mean to me.”

You took a breath, pulling your face out of his hands so you could wipe at your eyes. Somehow, he always knew what to say to make you feel better, even if it only lasted for a moment. The comfort was welcome. Needed. Craved. And Ryan’s love for you, something he swore to you more times than you can remember, was enough to mend how broken you felt. Most days, you felt like you were being cut in half, and he was here to help put you back together. Like he was your other half to make you feel whole again.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” you said, a sad smile playing on your lips.

“Ryan shook his head. “Pretty sure you have that backwards.”

You chuckled, and the warmth of his hand enveloped your own.

“I love you.”

Your thoughts are quiet, and you look up at him with misty eyes.

“I love you, too.”

#ryan lucan x reader #Ryan lucan #Ryan lucan imagine #Life is strange #life is strange true colors #Listc #Lis #life is strange: true colors

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