Tumgik
#unlove you
iwishwewerepenpals · 2 years
Text
sometimes I wanna hurt you the way you hurt me
but it wasn't your fault
it was never your job to love me
I have no right to be angry with you
you never tried to hurt me
but god does it hurt
281 notes · View notes
privatehousesanatomy · 2 months
Text
this is so specific to canadian house md fans, but i feel like house would have loved the song "unlove you" by elise estrada
5 notes · View notes
shadowtraveled · 1 month
Text
"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
Tumblr media Tumblr media
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
Tumblr media
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
6K notes · View notes
mydairpercabeth · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
violently sobbing rn
5K notes · View notes
ysabellious · 22 days
Text
Tumblr media
you are coming down with me / hand in unlovable hand.
3K notes · View notes
morganbritton132 · 4 months
Text
Eddie posts a Tiktok like, “If you are interest in someone, do not tell my husband. Steve is the worst person to tell. All he does is judge you and then criticize them.
Steve, off camera: That’s not true.
Eddie: It is true! Grant just - Grant, can I tell people this? …Cool - Grant just told us that him and his ex-wife have been talking about getting back together. And that’s great! A normal person would say ‘that’s great, man.’
Eddie: Not Steve. Steve’s response was ‘the ex that can’t cook for shit or the one with the big tits?’
Steve: It’s a valid question!
Eddie: Stevie, baby. When Robin told you she was a lesbian, the first thing you did was criticize the girl she had a crush on
Steve: Yeah, because she was a dud
Eddie: And when I told I loved for the first time, you winced at me like I was making a bad decision. You asked ‘why?’
Eddie: And i didn’t even say it first! You already said it a week before!!
Steve: I just think that you should have standards
Eddie: I do!
3K notes · View notes
fandom-trash-goblin · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
you live in a house of god; praying on your knees; and wonder why he never saves you.
on being unloved by god
credit:
Kate Cayley, “Lent” // in image // meriem evangeline, deus mortis // this pin // The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo //The Road by Cormac McCarthy // Mariners apartment complex, Lana Del Rey // the unabridged journals, Sylvia Plath // Heather O'Neill, Lullabies for Little Criminals// Akwaeke Emezi? // in image // in image //Day After Tomorrow, Tom Waits (it's a song?)
3K notes · View notes
Text
But we have other lives
And we know it ain't right
This is going nowhere
If I'm with you I don't care
Take me nowhere tonight
0 notes
goldyke · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Zac is out here repping for all children of shitty parents
5K notes · View notes
shesmyevangeline · 13 days
Text
not me crying over the ace rep in heartbreak high again. 'i feel like someone's always gonna be making a sacrifice if they'd want to be with me' i mean that shit hits so fucking hard. i've really never had a character i could relate to as much as i do to ca$h
684 notes · View notes
gomzdrawfr · 3 months
Text
it's hard loving yourself
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
932 notes · View notes
hamoodmood · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
How it feels
1K notes · View notes
absowution · 5 months
Text
Obsessed with the idea of Gortash superimposing his memory of Durge on them only to be left reeling when confronted by the smallest of changes. What do you MEAN your favorite color isn't red anymore? that you would rather walk boldly in the sun than observe from the city's dark corners? Your perfume is different, your way of laughing is different. It shouldn't be a big deal but it is, and he still treats them in all the same ways he used to treat his Durge. He tries to trigger their memory by relying on what he knows they used to like, but the information is old and the reception isn't the same. Don't get me wrong I LOVE the idea of an amnesiac Durge that is unsettled by all the intimate ways that Gortash knows them but I also can't resist the idea of Gortash being unsettled by all the ways he doesn't anymore.
It drives him mad.
849 notes · View notes
tweetsofyj · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
415 notes · View notes
lucidloving · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena // Clarice Lispector, Água Viva / The Stream of Life (trans. Elizabeth Lowe) // @inanotherunivrse // Natsuki Takaya, Fruit's Basket // I Know It's Over— The Smiths // Nikki Giovanni, The Collected Poetry // Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice
939 notes · View notes
samglyph · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
They were roommates in college
483 notes · View notes