#unquiet mind

[rantsintechnicolor]

Reasons I can’t sleep

My brain won’t turn off. 

Cramps. 

I’m not tired. Why aren’t I tired. I should be tired. 

I’m worried about someone. 

I’m worried about me. 

I’m in love.

I’m overheating.

The cat woke me up.

Reasons I must sleep

I can’t walk around like a drunk person tomorrow 

I have responsibilities

I have promises to keep

I have to communicate effectively

Sleep heals

I try to get back to sleep

If I haven’t slept the previous night, I’ll take a cbd gummy (thanks, mom).

I try to breath deeply. Sometimes that helps.

When it doesn’t, I get up and take all my vitamins. The flushing niacin is usually what takes me down before the flushing begins. 

When that doesn’t work, I don’t stay in bed. I get up. I watch a movie. I read a book. I write it all down and try to empty my head of whatever it is that won’t allow my brain to turn off. 

When I overheat, which is often, I need to come downstairs anyway. I need to cool off. 

When I have cramps, I take IBuprofen and wait impatiently for it to work while bouncing my knee vigorously to distract from the pain.

#sleep #insomnia #wide awake #nightlife #writing #creative writing #stress #fatigue #unquiet mind #k

[petaltexturedskies]

Kay Redfield Jamison, from An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

#virginia woolf #night and day #typography #kay redfield jamison #an unquiet mind

[fantastic-nonsense]

Kaz 🤝 Nikolai: two men who can't back down from a challenge and have dead older brothers, larger-than-life reputations, and girlfriends who're cooler than them

#kaz brekker #nikolai lantsov #six of crows #nikolai duology #grishaverse #inej ghafa #zoya nazyalensky #zoyalai #kanej #continuing to rep the 'kaz and nikolai are narrative foils' agenda #thinking about that bit in rule of wolves where zoya was like #'or maybe kaz was like nikolai: a boy with an unquiet mind...a man in need of perpetual challenge' #otp: on the seas and in the city

[tamsoj]

We created our own world of discussion, desire, and love, living on champagne, roses, snow, rain, and borrowed time, an intense and private island of restored life for both of us.

Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

#kay redfield jamison #an unquiet mind

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

obligatory rock murder mention

#i think someone said earlier that they had kind of a lot of mind control stories 'back in those days' #dont remember where #but now im trying to think if we have a lot of them in new who #and if theres something to that in terms of like societal preoccupations #but i guess im just gonna have to...........continue my classic who watch for that and make notes #what do we have in new who? satan comes to mind #midnight but i feel like thats..........a very particular kind it's not like the hypnosis thing you see here #or with the master #or i think sarah jane in the hand of fear? #maybe its JUST because they had the master around who kept hypnotising people tbh like that seems possible #the unquiet dead but thats ghosts more than mind control #i feel like we've got more bodies being taken over than minds in new who? #like the gas mask thing. midnight like i said. 42 with martha and 10? #love and monsters. idiots lantern. the vashta nerada. that guy who got turned into an ood. the masters thing in end of time #11 and the flesh. the god complex perhaps could be mind control? but feels different to me too #but i also havent watched really a lot of classic who so i dont know the vibe of their supposedly frequent mind control #town called mercy. asylum of the daleks. crimson horror. journey to the centre of the tardis? cybermen #it all feels more about the hijacking of the body than the mind or will or whatever #would be intersting to actually look into #if i continue my classic who watch #biggest mind control in new who might have been those mummy monks in pyramid/lie of the land?

[derangedrhythms]

Which of my feelings are real? Which of the me’s is me? The wild, impulsive, chaotic, energetic, and crazy one? Or the shy, withdrawn, desperate, suicidal, doomed, and tired one? Probably a bit of both, hopefully much that is neither.

Kay Redfield Jamison, from 'An Unquiet Mind'

#kay redfield jamison #an unquiet mind #other writing #self

[horsesarecreatures]

Book Review: An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison

This was a relatively short memoir about what it’s like to live with manic depressive illness. The author is a Professor of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and is the coauthor of the standard medical text on manic-depressive illness. She grew up in a military family and moved around a lot. It wasn't until high school that she started having manic episodes, though her sister showed symptoms much earlier. It was implied that her father and sister also had manic depression, but she never said what happened to them in the end, probably for privacy reasons. 

One of the major focuses of the book was the necessity of taking lithium in combination with psychotherapy, and why the author and so many others struggled to stay on the medication. When lithium first started being prescribed to treat manic depression, the typical dose was a lot higher than what is standard today, and the pills were not in slow-release form. This really caused the author to feel ill, struggle with concentration, and lose coordination. Once an avid athlete, she had to give up sports, including riding horses because she had accidents such as falling over jumps. In addition to this, she also stopped taking  lithium because she felt that she was at her happiest and most productive state when she was slightly manic.

It wasn't until financial ruin from many irrational manic shopping sprees (one of which caused her to buy over 30 snakebite kits, among other things), numerous ruined relationships, and an almost successful suicide attempt that left her in a multi-day coma that it finally sank in for her that she had to take lithium as prescribed. Luckily, after lowering the dose and invention of the slow-release form, she no longer had the side-effects she used to have from it. However, she said that while she thinks it is highly unlikely that she would go off lithium again, she still has the temptation sometimes because she misses the highs she used to have.

She also talked quite a bit about her education and career. Throughout her college and graduate student years, she was not taking lithium and unsurprisingly went through frequent major depressions. Her transcripts were filled with Fs, but when she was feeling more euphoric, she published an almost unhuman amount of scientific research papers, and these saved her. When she was hired as a teaching professor of psychology at UCLA, she still was not taking lithium. Despite her major depressions and manic episodes, she never got herself fired or involved in a malpractice suit, though she did often take self-imposed leaves. She even managed to get tenured, which was not an easy thing for a woman to do during that time period.

Initially, she told very few people (except those that directly supervised her) about her illness for fear of professional repercussions. But as the years went on and she stabilized from taking her lithium as prescribed, and the stigmas somewhat lessened, she told more people and the responses she got were largely positive. When she switched to teaching at Johns Hopkins, the chairman even said, “Kay, dear, I know you have manic-depressive illness. If we got rid of all the manic-depressives on the medical school faculty, not only would we have a much smaller faculty, it would also be a far more boring one.”

All in all it was a very interesting read with a wry sense of humor spread throughout. 

#an unquiet mind #kay redfield jamison #book #memior #bookblr #book review

[poetic-wilderness]

Which of my feelings are real? Which of the me's is me? The wild, impulsive, chaotic, energetic, and crazy one? Or the shy, withdrawn, desperate, suicidal, doomed, and tired one? Probably a bit of both, hopefully much that is neither.

Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

#kay redfield jamison #an unquiet mind #bipolar disorder #manic depression #excerpt #quotes #bookblr #bookworm #writeblr #prose #mental illness #books & libraries #memoir #depression #existential crisis

[illiteratealliterate]

"I compare myself with my former self, not with others. Not only that, I tend to compare my current self with the best I have been, which is when I have been midly manic. When I am my present "normal" self, I am far removed from when I have been my liveliest, most productive, most intense, most outgoing and effervescent. In short, for myself, I am a hard act to follow." - Kay Redfield Jamison

#quotes #an unquiet mind #books #mental health

[dead-professor]

[private]

@lifeofacityboy I... I think I would like to go back to how we were dealing with my issue before.

If that is fine with you darling.

#I miss the bond #it made fighting against this... hatered that flows in my veins #even if it is so called “false love” #I would rather my mind be yours entirely than beholden to the unquiet dead #please bind me again #the ghosts they are loud without a full bond

[vegansunlover]

wednesday’s moshpit got me like the tumblr 2014 era

#my legs actually hurt but i would do it again #every time #anyways fucking up my life cause i’m weird #whoops #okay byeee #moshpit #mosh pit #deathcore #gif #concerts #an unquiet mind #personal #music #scene #hardcore scene #fishnets #bruises #fit for an autopsy

[robynleefaryna]

An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison  "The personal memoir of a manic depressive and an authority on the subject describes the onset of the illness during her teenage years and her determined journey through the realm of available treatments."

"Kay Redfield Jamison (born June 22, 1946) is an American clinical psychologist and writer who is one of the foremost experts on bipolar disorder. She is Professor of Psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and is an Honorary Professor of English at the University of St Andrews." Jamison has had bi polar disorder most of her adult life and is one of the best ambassadors we have of someone living a fulfilling life with a disorder such as Bi Polar. Enduring dangerous and euphoric highs with devastating lows of depression, Jamison does a fantastic job at walking us through her personal experience with the disorder.

#an unquiet mind #actually schizospec #mentally unstable #mentalwellness #mental disorder #mentally fucked #mental heath support #mental illness #mentally ill #mental health #psychosis #bi polar 1 #bi polar #bipolar disorder #bipolarone #bipolar blog #bipolar positivity #bipolar thoughts #schizophrenia #schizo spectrum

[thehauntedself]

. . . for madness carves its own reality.

Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

#Kay Redfield Jamison #An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness #Mental Illness

[derangedrhythms]

In the mirror I see a creature I don’t know but must live and share my mind with.

Kay Redfield Jamison, from 'An Unquiet Mind'

#kay redfield jamison #an unquiet mind #other writing #self

[journalofunhappiness]

“We all build internal sea walls to keep at bay the sadness of life and the often overwhelming forces within our minds. In whatever way we do this - through love, work, family, faith, friends, denial, alcohol, drugs, or medication - we build these walls, stone by stone, over a lifetime. One of the most difficult problems is to construct these barriers of such a height and strength that one has a true harbor, a sanctuary away from crippling turmoil and pain, but yet low enough, and permeable enough, to let in fresh sea water that will fend off the inevitable inclination toward brackishness.”  -- Kay Redfield Jamison in “An Unquiet Mind”

This is so true and wonderfully put. I am still in the process of removing these enormous sea walls of my childhood, stone by stone and not with a ram, as my therapist recommended. And I am so much looking forward to have in place just the right walls to enjoy life so much more.

#depression #mental illness #therapy #CEN #childhood emotional neglect #Kay Redfield Jamison #an unquiet mind #low self-worth

[weltenwellen]

Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

#quotes #you're frightened and you're frightening #you're “not at all like yourself but will be soon” but you know you won't be #i