#unscramble protest

[cacoetheswriting]

Hello, hope you're having a good day! I'm not sure if you're taking requests but if you're, could it be possible for you to do one where Eddie has to take care of the reader cause she is drunk af and while he does it, she starts open up about how she can't understand why he would even be with her and how he deserves soso much better than her. Basically angst with a sweet ending;; I'm sorry for this if you're not taking requests tho.

hey, anon! thank you & i hope you're having a good day too <3

-

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader word count: 1.2k warnings: established relationship, adult language, alcohol consumption, use of pet names, (sweetheart), talk of self-doubt / insecurities, bad communication, a little angsty, a little fluffy - unedited - pls let me know if i missed anything!

-

The drinks keep coming and you keep accepting them until you can barely stand. With every sip of alcohol that burns down your throat, the jokes seem funnier while the music gets louder. Your head is spinning out of control but you are finally confident enough to dance freely. For once, you feel pretty and cool. 

This was a fun idea, the party. You were hesitant at first since high school get-togethers weren’t usually your thing, but Robin nagged and nagged, promising you the time of your life, until you finally said yes. 

And now, as you tumble towards the kitchen, spilling what is left of your current drink all over the floor, you think to thank Robin in the morning for dragging you out.

“Having fun?” Nancy slurs her words as she leans against the fridge.

“The most fun,” you answer, slightly bopping your head.

She smiles. “And where’s that boyfriend of yours? I never see him at these parties.”

“Oh, he—” you hiccup, suddenly feeling nauseous, “— Eddie, this isn’t really his scene.”

Nancy raises a brow. “That’s actually surprising,” she says as she refills her cup and disappears back into the party.

Sighing, you place your own glass down in the overflowing sink and approach the phone. Your hands begin to shake as you unscramble your drunken thoughts in search for a certain phone number. You blame the alcohol, and Nancy a little too, as you wrap the cord around your wrist and place the speaker to your ear. 

“Hello?” Eddie answers. You instantly detect concern in his voice, and possibly a little annoyance since it is two o’clock in the morning.

“Hey,” you exhale, “can you come pick me up, please?”

At your request, like a knight in shining armour, it doesn’t take the metalhead long to arrive. He finds you sitting on the front steps of Harrington’s place, your head leaning heavily against the railing, half-asleep.

“What the hell, sweetheart?” Eddie’s seems horrified and with very good reason as you aren’t usually the type of person to get yourself in such a state. 

He manages to help you up on your feet. He then snakes your right arm around his shoulders, intertwining your fingers together, while his free arm makes its way behind your back, his hand holding you in place just underneath your armpit. 

“What were you thinking?” Eddie asks while the two of you stumble slowly to his van.

“I wasn’t,” you answer honestly with a little hiccup, “I’m sorry, Eds.” 

The leather clad teen sighs. He helps you into the vehicle’s passenger seat and fastens your seatbelt. Your head falls back against the seat and you close your eyes. The world is still spinning but you feel safe now. 

Eddie looks at you for a second. He lifts his hand to gently caress your cheek before placing a kiss to your forehead. You hum underneath him, eyes still closed.

He proceeds to close the door shut and jogs around his van to hop behind the wheel. 

“Let’s get you home, sweetheart.” Eddie exhales without looking at you and starts the engine.

“I don’t wanna go home,” you protest quietly, “Take me to the trailer.” 

Eddie doesn’t argue. Partially because he knows there is no point as you’d win anyway — even in the inebriated state you are in right now, you always win — and partially because he wants to be the one to tuck you into bed.

There was no denying things between you two have been rocky for some time now and Eddie would be a fool to deny he wasn’t the reason why. 

Graduation was fast approaching and you would be leaving him behind. It was unfair to hold that against you, he was aware, but he still couldn’t help it because while you went off to college, he would be stuck in this shitty town all alone.

Of course you promised over and over how nothing would change, but Eddie wasn’t stupid, he knew change was guaranteed. So in the last couple of weeks, to get used to not having you around, he isolated himself.

And because communication was never something the two of you were good at, you let him be, no questions asked. Although, with every passing day, you were lost more and more in your own head. Thinking things were better this way, he liked them better this way. Thinking he didn’t need you. His life was better without you.

Both in the wrong, neither willing to admit it.

Within what feels like ten minutes, the trailer comes into view. 

Eddie helps you inside. While he grabs you a glass of water, you toddle towards his bedroom and scramble on top of his duvet. The first thought that crossed your mind is how the bed feels more comfortable than you remember it being. After all, it’s been a while since you were last here.

You try to kick off your shoes. When that doesn’t work, you try and sit up to take them off but your world is spinning again so all you can do is sigh heavily, heels heavy around your ankles like shackles.

“Let me help you,” Eddie states, concerned as he walks into the room. He places the glass of water on the bedside table and sits down beside you. Gently, he settles your legs over his lap and with very little effort, drops the heels to the floor. 

“Is that better?” 

You nod and smile sheepishly. “My hero.” 

Eddie returns the expression. He watches silently as you shift positions on the bed, making yourself comfortable. He’s back to his feet now and as he covers you with a blanket, your eyes close.

“Get some sleep, baby.”

He’s about to walk out of the room when you mumble: “I’m sorry I haven’t been the best girlfriend lately.”.

The statement causes him to halt and he hovers in his spot for a moment unsure whether you meant for him to hear that, unsure whether he should respond. But then, before he even gets a chance to organise his thoughts, you continue.

“I thought giving you some space was the right thing to do,” you admit without looking at him, “Now I think space was the last thing you needed because you’ve never felt more distant, and I guess, well, I guess I just don’t understand why you’re still with me.”

Running a hand through his locks, feeling guilty as fuck, Eddie is quick to sit on the free side of the bed. Sniffling, you turn your body towards his and snuggle your head into his chest as you wrap one arm around his torso.

“If anything, I’m sorry I haven’t been the best boyfriend,” Eddie exhales, sheathing an arm around your shoulder and with the other, gabbing your hand. “I sorta pushed you away without giving you a real reason.”

He starts rubbing soothing circles into your wrist using his thumb and a soft sigh escapes your lips..

“Guess we need to learn to express how we’re feeling, huh?”

Eddie chuckles. “Yeah, but not right now,” he says and kisses the top of your head. “Now you need to sleep off the alcohol you consumed.”

You nod against him and as you drift asleep, you can hear Eddie whisper: “I’m right here, sweetheart. Always.”.

-

eddie munson masterlist | main masterlist

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n

[smuttysabina]

Jaime Steals your Seed

(Jaime X Male Reader, 1600 words) ( Reverse Non-consensual sex, creampie, cheating, light violence)

You groan, your head throbbing with confusion, your vision is foggy, but you can make out an indistinct figure hovering above you. A warm weight settles upon you, soothing you as your brain unscrambles itself. The rich smell of a girls hair fills your nostrils, not entirely hiding the stench of sweat and sex. You shift, thinking to embrace what could only be your beloved girlfriend, but cold steel digs into your wrists. The girl atop you stirs, and you discover that she is in fact, not your girlfriend, but rather Jaime. You seem to be in a dank, dirty side-street, the bustle of city life echoing down it. Also your pants seem to be missing. Jaime presses her fingers against your lips, silencing your questions before they can even begin.

"Shhhh hush, okay I'm sure you are like, super confused right now, but just listen! Ummm you're feeling okay right? Like you straight up fainted when you saw Poki, most guys just cream their paints, but you just fell over! But its okay now, dont worry, I'm here now, and I'll help you lots... Hm? Oh why are you handcuffed to that pipe you ask? Um, oh, dont worry about it yeah? After all I helped you, so how about you help me?"

Jaime stands up fully, pulling down her skirt to reveal her glistening snatch. She spreads her legs wide, using her hand to open her thick, hairy lips to reveal her dripping fuck hole. Grasping your head, she parks her cunt on your mouth, vigorously rubbing her stench all over your face, marking you like an animal. Jaime looks down at you hungrily, her façade of concern evaporating to reveal the naked lust beneath. You try to resist, but she holds your nose, forcing you to breath and let the acrid taste of her juices into your mouth. Jaime growls,

"Lick it. Just fucking lick it, show me how well your girlfriend trained you. Are you really going to disappoint her like that? If this is best you can do, then no wonder she was soooo desperate. Aww your whines sound so cute, are you worried about her? Dont be, the last time I saw her she was doing just fiiiiiiine... Oh my god, can you start eating me out properly, or I'm just going to suffocate you again, is that what you want? Stick that fucking tongue inside of me or I'll piss down your nose! Mmmmph!"

Your muffled protests are shouted into Jaime's pussy, but to no avail. So, desperate to avoid drowning in this slut's urine, you open wide and begin to pleasure her. Jaime's engorged clit smears itself against your nose, grinding against it as she rides your face. Your tongue is forced deep inside of her warm hole, her fluids trickling down into your throat. Her hands clench harder, digging into your skull as she fucks your face, her pussy starting to spasm around your tongue. With a grunt, Jaime cums in your mouth, a gush of salty fluids washing down your throat as she shudders against you. She staggers backwards, her taint still connected to your face by strands of saliva and pussy juices. You feel disgusting, and humiliated, you loath that you were forced to pleasure Jaime like this. You glare hatefully up at her, awash in in her orgasm. Her face is bright red, and she licks her lips as she looks down at you, tenderly cupping your cheek.

"Oh there you go, see I knew you could do it. Maybe that's why your girlfriend keeps you around, to clean her out like a good boy? Do you lick her better, you do don't you! Ugh! Whatever I'm going to fuck you anyways. I mean, I was already going to but like, now I really want it." Jaime looks down pointedly, smirking as you follow her gaze, and only now realizing your cock is spectacularly erect. Amused she toes your cock, giggling as barely moves, "Well it looks like you really want it to! No? What, you don't want to cheat on your cute little girlfriend? Like who even cares about her? Last time I checked she was like, super busy! And anyways, its rude not to share your toys you know! Because that's all you are to her, a juicy piece of fuck meat to abuse until she tires of you. Don't even try to deny it, all you boys are good for is being used to slake our sexual desires. See, just look how hard your cock is for me right now, it knows all its good for is fucking whoever wants it!"

Realizing she's ranting a little, Jaime lets out a cutesy giggle, before squatting above your rigid dick. Pulling it upright, she smacks it against her gooey folds, splattering her juices all over your crotch. Your breath hikes as you realize there is nothing you can do to stop Jaime from taking you. You may feel horrible inside, but your cock is painfully hard, and each slap against Jaime's pussy sends shudders of pleasure through your hips. Her hand snaps out, grasping your neck for support, and forcing you to watch what she's about to do to you. Her eyes begin to dilate, she is gasping now, barely restraining herself from fucking you. Jaime gives in, and with a sordid grunt she slams your entire length inside of her filthy cunt. She squirts on your chest, gripping your throat so hard she is nearly choking you. Lost in her own pleasure, Jaime only notices your distress when your face is turning purple. She loosens her hand, allowing sweet air to rush into your lungs once more as you roughly cough.

Jaime pouts, "Oh I'm sorry, was I a little too rough there, dear? But its only what you deserve, for being such a bad boy!" Your cock throbs violently inside of Jaime, and with a knowing smirk she gives your needy dick what it wants. She rides you, slowly at first, but picking up speed as she discovers how best to mash your cock against her sensitive spots. Jaime lets out another deep groan as her slick juices splatter your crotch, her face collapsing against your neck. She looks up at you, licking all the way up your cheek with delicious intent before slapping you, "Fuck you've been such a bad toy, don't act all innocent, we both know what you did! Oh come on, did blacking out really make you forget? That's honestly pathetic, how could you forget jizzing inside of Poki? Don't look at me like that!" Jaime slaps you again, "You literally pumped Poki full of cum SEVERAL times while your poor girlfriend watched with horror! Like just once is understandable, but you just kept at, I felt so bad for her you piece of shit. So, just forget about her, she deserves so much better than you!"

Guilt and horror roil you as you try to remember what happened, obviously this crazy bitch is just lying to make you feel bad, right...? Your inner turmoil only makes your building orgasm feel even worse, would it be so bad to just give in? Surely your girlfriend would understand?

Jaime feels your orgasm approaching, her experienced pussy sensitive to your shafts twitches and rhythmic pulses. She pushes her face against yours, her breath hot and damp against your nose, "Oh fuck I can feel it! You want to give it to me don't you? You want to pump me full of your fucking cum? Mmmmfgh say you love me! Fucking say it! I want to hear you say it while you creampie me! Fucking love me! Love me!" Jaime's wild eyes bore into yours, her desperate lust causing your brain to short, leaving you with the simple need to procreate. So you gasp your love to Jaime, giving her what she desires as your load gushes into her sloppy cunt. Her pussy clenches your cock in sympathy, her dueling orgasm milking every last drop out of you. Jaime lets our a pleased gurgle as she drools on your cheek, thoroughly enjoying the pleasure surging through her petite body. She purrs with satisfaction, relishing the quantity of jizz inside of her, and notices your lightheaded state. After such a tremendous orgasm, you feel drained and weak, awash in the afterglow of sex. Jaime lets out a snort of disgust and looks up past you,

"See, I told you guys are better off being treated like toys, he gave in so quickly it was embarrassing. I can see why you keep him around though, he isn't half-bad once you break him in." Jaime lets out a sadistic giggle at your obvious confusion. Which quickly turns into cold horror as your girlfriend stirs from her perch behind you and moves into view. She is nude, and is she bends over your face you can see that both of her holes are crimson and greasy with juices. Jaime laughs at you, "I did say she was fine didn't I? But I guess I forgot to mention that she got passed around between Rae and Janet after you fainted. She was legit BEGGING for them to fuck her with their girl-cocks, she didn't even complain when they started sharing her holes! I can't blame her though, I've been there a few times myself hehe!"

Your lovely girlfriend, who you spent 3 years building a loving relationship with looks back at you with icy disdain. Her face, frozen with contempt, is the last thing you see before she shoves her ass into your face. "Eat up, toy" is the last thing your girlfriend says before the sound of her laboriously sucking your cum out of Jaime's pussy fills your ears.

#igumdrop #smut #Jaime #otv and friends #OTV Smut

[rc-appreciationweeks]

DID YOU SOLVE THE MURDER?

Steltz and Nixon offers the solution.... Thank you for all your assistance....

"It was Shino-Odori with the sword at the moonlit balcony!" Detective Nixon declared.While Shino-Odori first protested her innocence, the entire party approved Steltz and Nixon's reasoning.“I had to get rid of my fiercest competitor from last year’s monster poll! And he looked so tasty!” Shino-Odori exclaimed.

Did you get it right? From the clues, we know that:

Traces of Psi inhibitors were found on the wooden stake -> Ivo was the one with the wooden stake

Shino-Odori was seen terrorizing the person who was seen kissing Count Dracula at the ball -> Shino was NOT the one with the kiss. It had to be Ivo or Loki. And since Ivo had the stake, Loki had the kiss, and Shino had the sword.

A suspicious looking old man passed Steltz a message that read: IOKL SAW ENES NGAGNHI NDORAU NI ETH PYTCR. Somehow, magically so, Steltz knew this information to be true -> Unscrambled, we know that Loki was in the Crypts, so he was not the murderer

The mysterious sword was certainly not indoors -> The sword was outdoors, and the only outdoor location is the balcony

The Count’s body was found on the moonlit balcony -> Self explanatory! We can deduce that the murder occurred here, by Shino, using the sword

And that concludes THE DETECTIVE DUO’S FIRST RCAW MYSTERY. Did you enjoy the puzzle? Thank you for playing and supporting #RCHalloweekend!

#romance club #rchalloweekend #rc appreciation weeks #halloweekend #romance club appreciation weeks #shadows of saintfour #Arcanum #rcaftermidnight

[storiesofsvu]

Her Everything Ch 18

When you arrived at the playground the next morning you managed to swipe Amanda’s coffee out of her hand before she even realized you were next to her.

“Hey!” She protested, “get your own.” As she grabbed it back she took in your appearance, the sunglasses darker than your usual ones. “Are you hungover?”

“Kind of?” You groaned, tugging your hair up into a top knot before your sunglasses slid up to your head.

“Is that a hickey?!”

“What? No!” Your hand shot to your neck, wincing slightly at how tender the skin still was, “Cat bashed me with a toy the other day.”

“Oh, yeah, okay.” Amanda snorted, her finger coming out to poke around the bruise, “she give ya the beard burn too?”

“What?”

“This is beard burn, and that’s a hickey!” To enunciate her point she jabbed her finger into the purpling mark.

“Ow! ‘Manda!”

“Can’t believe you were out on a hot date while I was stuck with three kids.”

“I wasn’t out on a hot date, it’s not like I planned this.” You snagged her coffee for another swig, “it was more a…drink…that turned into a kiss..followed by one hell of a hot make out session.”

“And some sex.” She smirked, grabbing the cup back from you.

“Steamy, steamy hot sex. Holy shit Amanda…I- first time I’ve ever squirted. I mean..wow..”

“Jesus! You better be calling him back.” You snorted a laugh in response, Olivia’s voice cutting through just as you were about to reply.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” She passed a tray of coffee over to the two of you. “What’d I miss?”

“Y/N’s steamy, steamy sex she had last night while I was babysitting.” You smacked Amanda’s arm as Liv laughed.

“Really?” She paused for a sip of coffee, “when’re we gonna meet him?”

“Yeah…what’s his name?” You bailed under the pressure of both women’s attention fully turned to you, slightly hiding behind your coffee cup.

“Rafael…”

“Barba!?” Amanda practically shouted. Liv inhaled a sip of coffee down the wrong tube, choking on the beverage as she shot you a glance of surprise.

“How did that happen?” The brunette asked.

“Like I told Amanda! He came to drop something off, we had a drink and…one thing lead to another..”

“He really made you-“

“Yup.” You cut the blonde off, it was one thing kissing and telling under the umbrella of anonymity but knowing who the other person was…

“Good job Barba.” She muttered, taking a sip of coffee while she did a quick head count of the girls on the playground.

“Hope you were safe, don’t wanna end up with two whoopsie’s like this one.” Olivia teased.

“Hey!”

“Believe me, the moment Cat came out, that IUD went straight back in.” You laughed.

“How drunk were you guys?” Amanda asked.

“The first time?” That got a rouse out of them, “like, three quarters of a bottle of scotch. Then we ordered food and polished off a second bottle.”

“So you guys talked about it then?” Olivia asked, a genuine interest on her face that you were unscrambling all the wires.

“Uhm…not exactly. I mean..we were kinda caught up in the after glow, ya know? Just…enjoyed each other’s company. It was nice to finally have that kind of intimacy again.”

“K, but I’m more interested in just how many more times were involved.”

“Let’s just say…he was certainly making up for lost time.” You smirked, “and if you think my neck’s bad you should see my inner thigh.” Amanda lost it at that while Olivia playfully rolled her eyes, “I’m certainly not complaining about the beard.”

“You must have at least talked about it this morning?” Olivia noticed the immediate awkwardness in your eyes at her statement.

“I-uh-may have snuck out before he woke up?”

“You just left him in your apartment?!” Amanda was fully invested in this now.

“He’s got keys! He can lock up himself and we’ll do that whole awkward interaction tomorrow…which will be fucking horrible because Lucia is going to catch on real quick…shit…”

“Hope you’re planning on wearing a scarf.” Liv teased and you shot her a glare that she laughed at. “You should really talk it over though. I know it’s rocky territory all things considered, but you’ve said it yourself, he’s doing a wonderful job as a Dad, which honestly…I never would have expected from Barba. You guys have been getting along so well this year. You can’t fight me on that, I’ve seen you looking at each other when the other’s not looking the exact same way you were before I even knew you were dating.”

“And you certainly got along last night.” Amanda cut in, causing you to smack her arm again, “besides, it’s not like this was some drunken one night stand where you passed out right after and did the walk of shame never to see them again. You guys were hanging out, having a good time, and you continued to after, and had more sex..it was a….” she eyed you with a sly grin. You rolled your eyes knowing exactly what she was prompting you for.

“It was a four night stand…”

“I wish I got that many orgasms a night.”

“If we’re counting it like that it was seven night stand.”

“Jesus.” Olivia muttered, distracting herself by double checking on the girls while Amanda howled.

“Barba’s got stamina…damn.” Amanda took a swig of coffee, “but Liv’s right. I mean, you guys were sickeningly in love, it made me want to puke like..half of the time. Despite everything that’s happened, it can’t be hard to fall back in love with him.”

“Considering I never fell out of love with him…no…it can’t.” Your statement was softer, and you weren’t surprised when both of the women turned toward you, though they were surprised at the very subtle glimmer of tears in your eyes suddenly. “What?” A watery chuckle left your lips, “I was alone for so long, and I mean completely, family wise, not just the ‘ooo I’m lonely cause I’m single’ kinda thing. Rafael…he was my everything, he was the love of my life. I never thought I’d get married and there I was picking out venues and hours d’oeuvres alongside his Mother. He made me feel like I actually deserved all of that, like I deserved to be truly happy.” Amanda’s hand softly grasped yours, her thumb reassuringly rubbing against it, “he could break my heart a million times over and there would still be a part of me that loved him. If it wasn’t for Cata…I don’t know if I would’ve made it through that breakup.”

“So talk to him..” Liv softly countered, “he loved you more than anything in the world, and I know he still cares about you, and it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he was still completely in love with you.”

“Then why did he walk away five years ago?”

The three of you all jumped at the intrusion of a new voice from behind the bench you were sitting on.

“Because he was a coward. And an idiot who was terrified, and thought the only resolution was running away.” He only had eyes for you, it was as if the other two didn’t exist in that moment, the apologies written on his face as he looked down at you.

“Raf..? How’d you even know where we were?” He grinned, holding up his phone.

“Find my Iphone…you know you really should change your passwords once in a while.” You smacked at his arm with a smile, “you got a minute?” You shot a glance toward the other two women, who both nodded lightly in encouragement.

“Course.” Standing from the bench you followed him a short of enough distance that you had some privacy,  “how much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.” He smiled, “you always leave your conquests alone in your apartment?” Laughing lightly you rolled your eyes, the back of your hand smacking his chest.

“No..I…was scared. I didn’t know how you’d react. Like you just said, sometimes running makes the most sense in the heat of the moment.”

“Carino…” his hand stroked down your arm softly, “I know I’ve apologized a million times over about everything, and that they’re empty words by now, but I do need you to know that I was being incredibly fucking stupid. I was terrified that I’d be sent to jail, that you would hate me for what I did, that even if I got off, you would want nothing to do with me anymore. I was utterly ashamed at the entire thing, and for some idiotic reason I felt like I couldn’t show my face here anymore…even to the people I love the most.”

“Love?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, “as in…present tense?”

“Oh Hermosa…” hand stroked your cheek ever so softly, “every. Single. Day. I would look at this and remind myself how much I love you, and pray that you still loved me. And since being back, being with you and Cata, it’s meant so much more.” Your brow scrunched as he reached inside his coat,

“What’re you-“

A little laminated card was between his finger and thumb, the colour catching your attention first, your breath hitching in your throat as your hand shot to your mouth. The other one gently grasped it as your eyes moved up to his illuminating emerald ones. You flipped the card over and your suspicions were confirmed. It was the purple post it…the one you’d made as an impromptu Christmas tree ornament on your first Christmas together, the words ‘I love you always’ scrawled across it in your hand writing.

“You kept it?” You could feel the tears brimming in your eyes, just daring to escape.

“I was a moron for walking out on you, I needed a part of you to hold onto, to selfishly help me through everything. That little note…I keep it on me always. I look at it every day and the little part of me that prays you’ll be able to forgive me eventually reminds me that each time…you said ‘always’ and I said ‘forever’..and that there was some slim chance you’d still feel like that, even after I fucked up so horribly.”

“Rafael…” His thumb stroked softly at your cheek and suddenly the entire world vanished, your voice soft and wavery, but he knew you meant it when you spoke, “I’ll never stop loving you.” It was when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into you for a deep kiss that the wolf whistles echoed through the park. The hand you had around his bicep shifted so you were discreetly flipping off Amanda and Olivia, the laughter of the situation evident on your lips, causing Rafael to smile against you, kissing your head softly as you moved away, your blushing face turning toward your friends before it turned back to him.

“I love you forever y/n.” You giggled softly, rocking up on your toes to peck his lips.

“And I love you always.”

Truthfully, there were still a lot of logistics to work through, but that was to be expected in a situation like this. The following day Lucia certainly did give you shit for sleeping together before actually figuring things out, but she was at least happy that you were working things out romantically, that you would actually be a family again. Catalina wasn’t really aware to what was going on at first, she was young enough it didn’t really affect her, she was just happy to know a few months down the road that Papi was moving in and she got to spend all her time with both of you. The squad was all in support of it, even Calhoun gave you a soft ‘congratulations’ when she passed you in the courthouse.

Everything fell into place easier than you’d expected it, there was no way you could be happier than you were now, and there was no place Rafael would rather be than at home with his family. One that he never thought he’d ever have, but one that he adored more than anything in the world. The day he moved into the apartment you had a small shadow box style frame ready and waiting alongside a stack of purple post its. Once everything was settled and you’d finished off the pizza Cata was oh so excited about for dinner you had her write her own little I love you message on a fresh post it.

The three of them found their way into the frame, ‘I love you always’ beside the ‘I love you forever’  the coloured in heart sitting underneath between them, bringing your little family together, there was absolutely nothing that could tear you apart now.

**

Well…that’s all folks. Thanks for not only inspiring me to write a hell of a series off a request for a one shot, but for sticking with me through a story that spans TEN years, wow. I also 10000% have an alternate ending coming, so it’s *technically* not over yet

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #her everything #law and order #law and order svu #svu #law and order special victims unit

[lihikainanea]

Wait Lei, so Tiger can be in pain sometimes due to Bill’s size, so what if she did it intentionally. Kind of like when she acts up to be spanked. Like when she’s on top and she’s pulling all the way up and dropping, hard, it feels great for Bill, but he knows somethings wrong. Particularly cause she had a sub slip and started insisting she needed to do this.

Oh my god, my heart. It's been a hot minute since we've talked about tiger's bizarre but utter commitment to her own self-flagellation sometimes.

But like alright, so Bill is a big boi and there's probably some positions that they have to work up to or go real slow at, because otherwise it hurts her.

Unless tiger is after the hurt, and not in a good way.

It probably has nothing at all to do with Bill--when tiger gets in these moods, it rarely has to do with Bill--and more just to do with....everything. She's had a bad week. She's stuck in her head about a ton of shit. And instead of being open and honest, instead of trying to communicate how she feels or hell even just giving him the head's up that she's not in a good space and she doesn't know why--sometimes, tiger makes piss poor decisions. And she chooses pain, she chooses some type of penance that she thinks she deserves, just to try and feel a little better.

So, maybe she's on top. And she's being real uh, enthusiastic about it. But when Bill's brain comes back to earth at some point while he's being ridden like a prized stallion, he notices that her eyes are clenched tight, her arms are tense, her nails are digging into his chest, and tears are starting to form at the corner of her eyes. Everything about her is tense and rigid. And like, there's a BIG difference when tiger is going hard because it feels good and she wants more; and when she's going hard because it hurts and she wants more of that. More of the pain.

Bill watches her for another second, to be sure. He's had his eye on her all week but she hasn't said much that was cause for worry, just something about his Little Human Alert seemed a little more active and something nagging at his brain told him to keep a close eye on her. And there’s no doubt in his mind that she’s in pain--this is hurting her and not in a good way, and yet somehow she’s still going for it. He grabs her hips quickly, lifting her off of him.

“Yellow,” he says, and tiger squeaks in shock as she’s lifted up and then deposited softly onto the bed next to him. She went from chasing the bad penance she felt she needed to suddenly being empty, void. Bill takes a moment to collect himself, get his brain unscrambled--because not only was he on the cusp of a mind-blowing orgasm that he had to pull himself from the brink of, but now he’s also mad. They’ve had this conversation before. He takes a deep breath and turns to her.

“Tiger, we have rules,” he says quietly. Tiger is confused, maybe she kind of misinterprets it as part of their dynamic, so she hunches her shoulders in and tries to climb over him to get on her knees beside the bed.

“Yellow,” he grabs her, keeping her on the bed, “Tiger, we have rules about you using me. We have rules about your headspace.”

“what do you mean?” she asks quietly. Bill is trying to keep it gentle, because this is tricky territory. This is against the rules and it’s something Bill has been extremely honest and adamant about, that he doesn’t want to be a participant of any kind if tiger is after penance and pain in a bad way. But at the same time, if she’s doing this, then her headspace is already pretty fucked and he needs to be gentle. He can get angry later, they can have an open and honest discussion later--right now, he just needs to put an end to the behaviour, and make sure she’s okay.

“I mean...you’re not okay,” he says.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. This was hurting you,” he tells her, “And you kept doing it.”

“It felt good,” she protests. And Bill just swipes a thumb across her wet cheek, where tears keep streaming down.

“I can tell the difference kid,” he tells her softly, “Between when it hurts in a good way, and when it doesn’t. And this? This doesn’t. You’re in pain.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“Yes,” he answers honestly, “You know that hurting you is a hard limit for me. And using me to cause yourself pain is against the rules. You know that, too.”

“You can punish me--” she mumbles as she starts to slide off the bed and he catches her again.

“I will, but not now,” he tells her, “If you’re after pain, you’re not going to get it from me kid.”

“I’m not--” she tries to protest, but he just gives her a look and she sighs, another batch of tears pooling in her eyes.

“Can you talk to me about it?” he asks.

“No,” she snaps.

“Then we’re done for tonight,” he says, and he holds up a stern hand when she protests. “Tiger, we’re done.”

She grumbles, pushing him away a little bit when he goes to put his arms around her.

But like, here’s the thing right? This is such a delicate balance. Tiger can’t get her head right until she’s punished--she needs the resolve, the absolve, she needs to feel worthy of his correction in order to sort out the mess in her brain. But Bill also doesn’t want to give in to her need for self-flagellation and pain in order to feel better--but this, this is different. He can get his head around this, because when it comes to punishment, it’s about more than the pain. The pain is part of it, yes, but at least when he’s in control, he can make sure the pain stays pleasurable. He can keep it within both of their limits and make sure tiger doesn’t turn it into some weird form of penance that she thinks she needs. The pain of spanking, of punishment is different--because the end result is always her pleasure, her need for forgiveness and to receive it this way.

So maybe after a few days, tiger not only isn’t opening up to him, but she’s sinking further and further into herself and she’s slipping into a real bad headspace. She needs the punishment, she needs the correction to start setting her right. He knows it’s a losing battle otherwise, so maybe one day when she’s reading in the living room, he pours himself a stiff drink in the kitchen and downs it. Then he goes to get her, leaning down in front of her and taking the book from her lap.

“Go kneel beside the bed,” he tells her sternly, “Panties off.”

It takes tiger a minute--she just sits there and looks at him, but he flicks her nose.

“Tiger,” he says harshly, “Do I ask twice?”

That gets her moving. She starts kicking her bottoms off on the way to the bedroom, and Bill gives her a minute to get settled. When he walks in, she’s on her knees beside the bed just like he told her. He goes to her, swinging a leg around and sitting down on the bed with his knees set far apart. He rests his elbows on his legs, and cranes to catch her gaze.

“You broke the rules,” he tells her, “Tiger, you know how I feel about hurting you.”

She averts her eyes but a quick, harsh snap of his fingers and she focuses meekly back on him.

“Hurting you is a hard limit for me kid,” he tells her, “So how do you think it makes me feel, when you use me to get the pain you want? Instead of just talking to me, being honest with me?”

“Bad,” she mumbles quietly.

“Bad,” he repeats, “Really fucking bad tiger. You promised me you wouldn’t do that.”

“I broke my promise,” she says, and it’s full of remorse and self-loathing.

“Yes you did, and that’s why you’re being punished,” He takes her chin between his two fingers and tilts it up, “Tiger, don’t use me for whatever penance it is you think you need. If you want something a little harder, I’ll give it to you. If you want to be punished, I’ll give it to you. You just have to ask. But don’t...don’t try and get it yourself by using me. Understand?”

“Yes,” she murmurs, “Bill, I’m sorry.”

“You’re not yet,” he sighs and pats his lap “Come up here.”

He helps her up onto his lap, laying her out across it. He shoves the corner of the pillow into her mouth and winds his fist in her hair.

“You get 10,” he says, “And count them, tiger. If you make any other sound, I’m starting over.”

And he does that because he knows she’ll make a sound--but this is a way for her to feel the pain that she needs to feel, and have it still be within their limits. He can give her what she needs. And I’ll bet he goes pretty hard, definitely hard enough to leave marks for a few days, because that’s what she needs.

And the thing with tiger is that maybe there really WASN’T an underlying reason of why she did that, why she felt like she needed the pain in a bad way. Tiger can be her own worst enemy, her mind can spin all kinds of circles around her for no valid reason. It can come on suddenly, she can just slip and there’s not necessarily a solid trigger or situation to point to that got her that way. Bill’s okay with that. He’ll sort her out every single time, with all the patience in the world--but what he won’t do, ever, if let her try and use him as part of a punishment that he never agreed to.

#BFF!Bill #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgard fanfic #bill skarsgard fiction #bill skarsgard fic

[doodlebeeberry]

in searching for a way to unscramble that promo ive found this page protesting a court ruling that executable source code isnt protected speech (more specifically related to a dvd descrambler)

i like it alot. i want that t-shirt

#rambles

[anchormuses]

☺ - cuddles with my muse - from spy dads @curiosityshop !!!

        TOUCH STARVED PROMPTS    /    @curiosityshop

        HE DOESN’T HAVE TO DO THIS.    Of course he doesn’t. They’ve told him so, over and over, as if he doesn’t know that he doesn’t have to. Morse does not have to exist, either, or talk, or read, but he does, anyway, because these things simply are. Why should this be any different? Just as he does exist, even though nobody has asked him to, and just as he does talk, even though he’s sure many people would rather he didn’t, Morse will prepare food, even though he doesn’t have to. It’s right. It’s the way things should be. His mother had been sick, and Morse hadn’t, so he cooked for the two of them. The same principles apply here; Harry and Merlin have been working. Surely, they’re tired. They should sit down. Morse isn’t tired, so why should he not make the food?

        WHY THEY CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS LOGIC IS BEYOND HIM.    It doesn’t matter anyway; if they’re going to protest, he’ll simply avoid the problem by carrying out his tasks as quickly and as quietly as he can manage. If they don’t notice until he has already finished making the food, they’ll have no choice but to accept, and that way, he will have lifted the burden of cooking from them and proven himself capable of doing so. He waits until he’s sure the coast is clear before he attempts his mission. Congratulating himself on his sneakiness, Morse slips into the kitchen. 

        HE’S LOOKING FOR A PAN WHEN THE DOOR OPENS BEHIND HIM.    Unfortunately, he’s not as tall as he’d like to be, so he’s standing on a chair, and even then, he’s stretched up on his tiptoes to try and reach the top shelf. Morse freezes in place at the sound of the door opening. His hands hover halfway to their destination, eyes comically large and faintly panicked. As much as he hopes to unscramble his mind quickly enough to come up with an excuse, he knows it must be clear what he’s doing. He’s been told not to do it often enough. 

        HE TURNS TO LOOK GUILTILY TOWARDS THE DOOR.    Any moment now, he’s sure to receive the familiar words intended to relieve him of his task. To his confusion, the words do not come. What happens instead prompts a gasp of surprise from him which very nearly threatens to become a squeal, as he is scooped up from the chair he stands on, and removed from the kitchen entirely. 

        THIS IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR!    Morse should very much like to protest, but oddly, he finds himself incapable of words. The feeling of his legs swinging in the air instead of supporting him is so funny that he can hardly stop himself from kicking them, and the arms holding him hostage give him the very strange urge to curl himself around one of them. It takes his brain a few seconds to catch up. When it does, he realises he’s grinning, and he can’t speak because all of his efforts have already been diverted to stopping himself from giggling. 

        HE’S SOON TAKEN TO HIS DESTINATION.    A second pair of arms joins the first and if Morse didn’t know better, he’d say--- no, it is a hug. He’s being hugged. Cuddled. He’s been caught in the act, captured, and now he’s being trapped in the most affectionate sort of prison. And there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it. The terribly frustrating urge to laugh has not disappeared yet. Morse really ought to be protesting loudly, but his hands have curled into the fabric of sleeves, and his head is leaning against a shoulder, and without his knowledge or permission, the smile is still plastered on his face.

        THIS JUST WON’T DO.    He has things to be doing! How can he possibly cook now? Morse lifts his head and swallows his smile, twisting his expression into his most furious glare. He looks between his two captors as crossly as he can manage. “That’s not fair,” he informs them, trying to make himself sound intimidating. He’s never told an adult off before, but this is most certainly a situation that calls for it. “You’re not allowed to do that.” 

#this has no right to be so funny ashdjfads #curiosityshop #verse. ( what is home if not the first place you learn to run from? ( pre-university verse. ) ) #answered. #queue.

[unscramblerer]

Todays Scrabble word of the day is: Protest

#word of the day #unscramble protest #anagram of protest #scrabble #scrabble words

[1kook]

commercial break ; THREE

this is a netflix & chill drabble kook’s pov during their argument in d&b !

summary; But Jungkook loves the sun. warnings; post-fight, drinking, heart ache :( miscellaneous; everyone say thank u kim namjoon 🤩 word count; 1.5k

notes; a lot of people wanted to know his thoughts during the iconic d&b fight scene so here’s the closure we all needed </3 

He knows he’s said the wrong thing the second the last syllable departs from his lips.

Jungkook doesn’t mean it, that much he knows right away, but even still… there’s a silent moment of shock between the two of you, one where even he is surprised by his own tongue.

You move first, phone whipping across the room.

Now Jungkook has seen a lot of scary things in his life. He’s seen horror movies and walked through a cemetery at night once. He’s come home way past curfew and had to face the wrath of his normally lenient father. He’s sat front row in his first ever college seminar. Yet none of that fear, that anxiety, that dread, compares to the level of emotion he feels wrap around his throat the moment you get up.

“___, wait,” he calls out frantically, hands shaking the further and further you get. He has to tell you he doesn’t mean it, that he would never mean it. But how do you follow up a statement like that? Even when he catches your eyes, beautiful irises colder than the bottom of the ocean, he doesn’t know what to say. He stutters through an excuse he wouldn’t have believed himself and watches you slip further away.

Jungkook can’t let you leave, not when you’re so hurt and he’s so confused, but what else can he say? He doesn’t know, and when you angrily send him back inside he feels every bit the scolded child. Funny how that works.

He calls and calls until he realizes the muted hum from upstairs is the phone you left behind. He’s crazy and in love, desperately scouring through your social media accounts for a sign you’re safe and home. (You were on Twitter three minutes ago, so that’s a relief.) But even then he can’t relax, turning his own words over and over in his head.

Jungkook values a lot of things in your relationship. There’s a beautiful understanding that comes with being in love, a new sense of comfort he’d never felt before. You make him feel warm and in love, keep him grounded when the world threatens to swallow him beneath its surface. You care for him and he for you.

Where those thoughts had come from, he didn’t know. All he knew was that one minute you were picking at the edges of his patience, and the next he was shooting a dagger into your chest.

Self-reflection, Namjoon had always said, the key point to understanding oneself. Usually, that’s followed by some tips on yoga, on calming the mind, but his leg won’t stop bouncing and there’s a boa constrictor wrapped around his throat so that zen mentality will have to wait for now. A harsh exhale, foot thumping against the floor.

Carefully, he unscrambles his thoughts.

There were times you were childish and, for the most part, Jungkook didn’t mind. You brought out the most beautiful things in life with just your laughter alone. You roped him into doing things he never could enjoy growing up, which made him rekindle his love for old hobbies. If sunshine was a person, Jungkook is sure it was you.

You were bright and ever-burning, always with a mission in your head, even if it was something as small as cleaning your windows that day. A star, he thinks, except your smile alone garners the power of ten supernovas combined. The amount of joy and euphoria you’ve brought him this past year was immeasurable. You made him smile, even when you were tired, rising every morning and setting every night dutifully just like the sun.

But too much sunshine could be hot, scorching even.

His mom had mentioned it once, very early into your relationship, how you were a little too childish for Jungkook. He had angrily defended you, stormed out of his parents' house like he was ready to leave them all for you. (Would he? He likes to think so.) But a mother’s advice always haunted one the most.

Yes, your youthful outlook made his life colorful and bright, but there were times he found himself wondering what it would be like to have someone… not as outgoing.

Someone plain and always collected. Someone who would gently remind him of his deadlines, and watch all his favorite documentaries with him. Someone like him, he supposed, who matched his interests perfectly.

It sounds awfully boring.

It sounds terrible to be damned to such a dull life, especially now that he’s had a taste of you. You, who brings laughter and sunshine everywhere you go, his amazing other half. He’d hate it if you always did what he wanted— he loves when you pick at everything he likes because you let him do it back! Jungkook’s head was a never-ending spiral— that much he’s known from a young age. But with you in his life, it became fun and exhilarating. Gone was the dark tunnel and in its place was a twisty slide with loops and turns that defied all laws of gravity. It wasn’t a scary place anymore and it was all because of you.

You, who he might possibly lose forever. His own negligence was to thank, an inability to voice small issues until they piled up and became this big, warped monster that no longer pertained to his original frustrations. It was an ugly thing, so twisted and vile, taking the thoughts he seldom had and weaponizing them against you.

Was that it? Had those mindless thoughts been the root of today’s brash decisions. Jungkook wants to blame it on that, but part of him knows it’s his own inability to share his feelings that led to that spontaneous outburst. There were obviously some things he still needed to work on, but pinning it all on you, his dazzling ray in the sky, was the worst move he could have made. Self-reflection, he repeats to himself.

His heart is still pounding in his ears, drumming obnoxiously loud as if it wants to torture him for his actions. His phone rings across the room and Jungkook lunges for it, hoping and praying it’s you.

It’s not.

It’s just Namjoon calling to wish the two of you a happy anniversary. “You two having fun?” he teases before Jungkook can get so much as a greeting in.

“Hyung,” he chokes out hoarsely, glancing down at the ground. “I-I said something to ___,” he whispers even though there is no one here to hide from but his own crippling thoughts. “And I don’t think she’s coming back.”

His voice cracks a little. He hides it with a gulp so dry it hurts. “What?” Namjoon asks. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook sighs, running a hand over his eyes. “Are you busy right now?”

—

“You need to go to bed,” Namjoon tells him, ambling the two of them up the stairs. Jungkook snorts, sliding against the entire wall on the way up.

“I refuse,” he announces. He has to pause on the next step because he’s pretty sure there’s about four of the same step whirling before his eyes. Beside him, Namjoon sighs. “Hyung, I can’t see.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes, deciding the stairs are too much of a hassle and guiding them back to the living room instead. “Couch,” he informs him before rather carelessly dumping him onto it. “Listen,” he begins, crouching down beside Jungkook. “It’s like, 4 AM… and I have work tomorrow. So I’m going to leave,” he says, slowly pointing in the direction of outside. Jungkook nods, even though Namjoon is definitely pointing upside-down backward. “Okay, JK?”

“That’s me,” he agrees, letting his head slump back against a throw pillow. Namjoon groans.

“That is you,” he concedes. “And you need to sober up before you try talking to ___ again.”

The mere mention of your name turns a switch on inside him. “Can’t,” he whines, features twisting up together. “She hates me. Will cut my balls off.”

Namjoon goes to protest but eventually stops himself. “Yeah, well. Probably.” Jungkook wails at his friend’s poor attempt at consoling him. “Sleep a little and then head over to hers, okay?” He pats him on the cheek once before finally making his exit.

Jungkook can’t believe this. How embarrassing. If you saw him right now, you’d clown him for getting this drunk off wine. But he truly understands it now. It was the devil’s drink, so sweet and cooling only to suddenly slap him across the face with his own insobriety. Oh, his head was going to ache badly later.

Well, that was a problem for later’s Jungkook, he decides as he slinks off the couch and back into the kitchen. There’s a new box of cherry vodka he’d bought just for tonight—or last night, technically—because he knows it’s your favorite. And well. He misses you so much he’ll do anything to feel close to you again.

He’s not sure how long he sits on the floor, swing after swing going down his throat until he’s got three extra fingers and a new middle name. Just that when the sun finally filters through, so warm and bright, he finds himself missing you again. His feet take him out the door before he can think twice.

The morning rays bring with them a wicked headache that almost has Jungkook throwing up into his bushes. Part of him, the last droplet of reason, tells him he should change. He’s wearing the same clothes from yesterday and they reek. Furthermore, the sun is hellbent on soaking up every inch of his black clothing.  

He should change if he doesn’t want to suffocate in this heat, under this blazing sun in the sky.

But Jungkook loves the sun.

He walks on.

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

#goldenclosetnet #bangtanhq #jungkook fic #jjk fic #mine

[girlgirlgirlnormal]

I want her to be mine Part 1

Kuina x OC (female OC)

TW: Death; Niragi (Yes, I’m including Niragi as a trigger now, even though he is very ooc here and OC’s best friend); harrasment, sexual harrasment mention, bullying

Word count: 3.8k

Ino was dancing her way through the crowd. She didn’t have to push through. People made room for her. She knew that they were not doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. She was known to be a gun wielding maniac and Niragis best friend. They didn’t want to be on her bad side, and she was known to be ill-tempered. Wearing short shorts that barely covered her butt and a green velvet camisole she would never be pointed out for her clothes. Everyone was clothed less in the beach. The things that made her stick out of the group where the two guns she had on her hipholsters and the knife strapped to her thigh.

“Finally.”, she muttered, as she spotted Niragi on the other side of the pool.

She grabbed the drink of a girl standing nearby and walked around the pool, watching how her best friend was talking – no threatening – Chishiya and Kuina.

“Niragi”, she said, as soon as she was within hearing distance, “Aguni wants to see you.”

She crossed her arms, the drink, a pink liquid in a tall glass, still in her hand. She hated being the message girl.

“I have business to do”, Niragi said, not turning back to look at her, “This little man is bothering me.”

“That little man is always bothering you”, she said sighing, “Come on. You know how Aguni gets when he has to wait.”

She wasn’t looking at Niragi. Her gaze was fixed on Kuina. She found that that woman was too beautiful to be real.

Niragi groaned, pushing the head of his sniper rifle into Chishiyas stomach. He still didn’t make any effort to move away from the man. Kuina was watching him with a worried expression on her face and Chishiya simply did not seem to care. Sighing she took a big gulp of the cocktail she was holding and smashed the rest on the floor.

“I demand attention!”, she almost shouted.

Niragi chuckeled, “Remined me. Why don’t I kill you?”

“Because I’m your best friend, idiot.”

Niragi seemed to accept that, turning and walking past her, to the hotel. She stayed for a moment, gifting Kuina a little smile, then she turned back, following Niragi inside.

“If you want her so much, why don’t you just take her?”, Niragi asked, as they were crossing the lobby.

“Are you asking why I’m not making a move or are you advising me to force myself onto her?”, Ino asked, laughing.

She knew Niragi since highschool. He had interned and later worked at her fathers indie gaming company and she had worked on the same team with him. She knew everything about him and he about her.

“Both”, he said, shrugging, “You’re not the one to wait around if you want something.”

“If you were not so precious to me, maybe I would be the one shooting you.”, she replied, bumping her shoulder in his arm, making him laugh.

After they reached Agunis room she waited outside. He had asked for Niragi. He didn’t say that he wanted to see her with him, so that meant that she was not invited. She was leaning against the wall, quietly humming the hanging trees melody and playing with her knive, starting to not only hum but sing, as she saw Kuina coming out of the elevator. She knew she looked kinda scary with her huge scar extending from her right eyebrow all the way down to her navel. Singing such an ominous song while staring at the beautiful women walking towards her must have made her look even scarier. Not to forget the throwing knive she was twirling between her fingers.

“You really shouldn’t hang with Chishiya”, she advised, as Kuina was walking past her, making her stop, “At least not then Niragi is around. I’m afraid that one day you might get caught in some enthusiastic friendly fire.”

She couldn’t believe that those there the first words she had spoken to the woman she had been watching since she got to the beach. She never had acknowledged her enough to talk to her before.

“I can do whatever I want.”, Kuina answered, “What is it to you if I die?”

She had caught the woman watching her, but her expression could never be read. Maybe she was just some transphobe who had identified her and was plotting her death. Maybe she just didn’t like her face, that seemed to be the problem between Niragi and Chishiya.

The woman smiled, “You’re too pretty to die because Niragi can’t stand that weirdos face.”

Kuina was silent for a moment. Did she just tell her that she was pretty? She turned to look the woman in the face. She was still not showing any emotions.

“Too pretty, huh?”, she asked, the woman was pretty herself, but Kuina never thought much of it. She was just another militant and if Niragi was not following her like a shadow she was dancing with some other militant. Kuina had noticed that those guys seemed to vanish after she had seen them with her.

Pushing herself of the wall she put the knife back in its strap and smiled. She walked up to Kuina. She was short compared to her, only reaching her chin, and smiled up to her, before turning around and vanishing in her rooms, a couple of doors next to Agunis. The door between her and Agunis door was leading into Niragis room and their rooms were interconnected. She put the chair against the doorknob. If Niragi wanted to see her, he would come through the middle door anyway. She deattached her holsters and wiggled out of her shorts. Tomorrow she would have to play a game, she thought, as she was pulling her camisole over her head. She just hoped it was one she could beat. She would have Niragi with her. She never went to a game without him. He was the only person in this place she trusted. She slipped into a silk nightdress, the kind she used to sleep in all the time and brushed her hair. Her life used to be so good. How did she and up here?

“What’s up, princess?”, she could see Niragi in the mirror, leaning on the frame of their connecting door.

“Cuddles tonight?”, she asked, placing the brush on the vanity, and turning to Niragi.

He laughed, but nodded, “I think you just need some Vitamin D.”

She rolled her eyes, “Maybe I would get some if you didn’t kill everyone who dared to touch me.”

Niragi was already getting undressed all the way down to his boxers and laid down, extending a hand to her. Sighing she stood up and walked up to the bed, laying down beside her best friend and letting him wrap his arms around her.

“They all didn’t deserve you”, he mumbled into her hair, “I only want the best for you.”

“You want me to die horny”, she answered, cuddling into his chest, “I miss being touched that way. I would be very grateful to you if you did not kill everyone who touched me.”

Niragi sighed, “Can’t you just abstain as long as we’re here?”

She playfully hit his arm, “I’m going to approach Kuina and I want her to stay alive to fuck me.”

“Stop thinking about sex”, Niragi scolded her with a bored voice, “Concentrate on the game tomorrow. We will have to play.”

Yawning she nodded, before falling asleep in her best friends’ arms.

The next day went by uneventful and as the signal for the start of the games sounded through the hotel, she and Niragi were already in the lobby. They would not draw a number. They already knew they would go to the game with the other militants. They had to take some civilians with them, though. Who they would take with them would be chosen by luck. Many did not consider themselves lucky then they drew the M instead of a number. Either they would have an easy game and the militants would fight their way free for them or it would be a deadly game and they would be killed by the same people who were sent to protect them.

She was watching Kuina and Chishiya argue.

“You have to find someone to switch with.”, he said.

“Who would switch with me?”, she asked, looking around.

Everyone who wanted to participate was already making their way out. Thinking that this was an opportunity to “bring order to the beach” she signaled Niragi to stay and made her way over to Kuina.

“What number did you draw?”, she asked, not even acknowledging Chishiya.

“We were about to switch”, he said, holding his own number, a 3 up.

She ripped the piece of paper out of Kuinas hand and unscrambled it.

“Looks like you’re with us”, she said grinning, “That’s the law. You go with the number you get. No more horsetrading.”

She grabbed Kuinas arm and pulled her with her to the two militant cars. Niragi opened the door to the front passenger seat, grabbed the young man already sitting there and pulled him out. Before he sat down, he turned to her and threw the keys to her, “You’re driving today.”, he said, getting in.

Catching the keys, she watched Kuina sit down and finally sat down herself. The drive took them about 15 minutes. The game arena looked like a normal apartment complex. She stopped for a moment, showing Niragi what had caught her attention. There were two different entrances. Both were limited to 10 people each. A sign told them to leave their weapons outside.

Niragi pointed his head to the second entrance and one of the militants peaked in, “Here are already six people”, he informed them.

“2 here”, Ino informed the group.

“Militants here”, Niragi pointed to the first entrance, “Weeklings there”, he pointed to the second door.

The people they had brought, only 4 including Kuina, were looking distraught. They were 7 militants.

“She’s with me”, Ino said, pulling Kuina by her arm to her side, “She’s coming with us.”

Kuina did not protest. This short before a game one should never put the militants in a bad mood.

The others nodded. She had the highest number after Niragi. If he didn’t say something to contradict her, they would listen. Niragi rolled his eyes about his best friends’ behavior, but she had told him that she wanted to fuck that girl, so she would.

After entering through the first entrance, they each picked up a phone and waited for the other group to be full. A couple of minutes of silence ensued. Niragi and Ino did not talk because there were others in the room. The others did not talk, because Niragi was in the room.

“Registration is closed”, the mechanic voice announced, after a while, the five of clubs card flashed on the screen, and a table was elevated from the ground with all kinds of sharp objects on it, “Game: Kill or be killed. Two teams with ten players each have been assembled. Players are free to choose weapons from the table. Clearing Conditions: The team with the most kills wins. Game over: If a player dies or is part of the team with the least kills it is game over for them. Time limit: 20 minutes”

Niragi laughed, walking over to the table and grabbed an axe and 2 machetes. He gave one of them to Ino and pointed to the throwing knives, “Take them.”

She took them. She didn’t mind small orders from Niragi. They had been a team for five years. That meant that they have been giving and taking orders to and from each other for half a decade.

“What are you good with, princess?”, Ino asked, turning to Kuina.

The other militants did not take anything yet. They were like a pack of wolves. They would not get anything until their “Alphas” were done. Considering that Aguni was not with them they had to do as Niragi pleased. Kuina looked over the table.

“Sword”, she said and watched as Ino grabbed one and handed it to her.

Ino caught Niragi staring at the screen.

“What’s the problem?”, she asked, looking up to his face and then to the screen.

Beneath the rules two columns had appeared. Group Right and Group Left. Both columns had a big black zero beneath their group names.

“It doesn’t specifically say that we have to kill people from the other team to win”, he said, thoughtfully, looking back to the two civilians standing in the back, they had not even chosen a weapon yet. Ino guessed the reason for that might be one of the militants standing by the table looking the girls up and down with a dirty look on his face.

She rolled her eyes. Men.

“Maybe we should look into it”, the man said, taking a knife and walking toward the women, who were already covering into the wall.

Niragi turned to watch him. Ino saw up to him again. His face didn’t betray any emotion but seeing those women in such fear had to remind him of his old life.

“Maybe we should”, Ino agreed, walking up to the girls, coming to a halt right next to the militant.

He smiled at her. She smiled back, swinging her machete into his neck. His eyes were widened in shock as he fell to the ground. Gurgling noises could be heard for a couple of moments, then they stopped. Ino looked back to the scoreboard. A point had appeared for the other group.

“I guess that means we protect the girls”, she concluded, walking back to Kuina and grabbing her hand, “Niragi?”

“You stay here”, he said looking to the women, “everyone else, the hunt is on!”

With that he hollered, swinging his ax and machete and opened the door to enter the playing field, abruptly stopping in his tracks.

“It’s a fucking labyrinth”, he muttered, “Come on. We need to split up.”

Ino sighed, that was a dumb idea. Everyone died in horror movies as soon as they split up.

Niragi looked at her for a moment, before nodding and walking off. They would survive. There was no way this game would get any of them killed.

“You’re with me.”, Ino said, grabbing Kuinas wrist and dragging her off, walking in the opposite direction of where Niragi disappeared.

“Why?”, Kuina asked.

The labyrinth was silent. She couldn’t hear anything beside her heart pounding.

“I don’t think this is a talkie talkie game”, Sakura said, her machete raised, slowly walking around the next corner.

Kuina huffed, following Ino. If she didn’t have to, she walked straight, not taking any turns. They had to hurry. They were already down to 15 Minutes and the only point given in the game was the militant Ino had killed. She started to consider it a bad idea. She had made a point for her rivals. If they didn’t find and kill someone soon, they would lose. She stopped. She thought she had heard something. Trying to concentrate on the sounds around them she closed her eyes, hearing Kuinas footsteps continue walking, walking past her.

She heard the sound again. It was coming from around the corner that Kuina was about to turn. Not even thinking she lunged forward, grabbing Kuinas waist and pushing her back, while swinging her machete. She was too late. She screamed as something made impact with her forearm, wildly swinging her machete she only stopped, as the man infront of her collapsed to the ground.

“Ino!”, she heard Niragi scream.

Examining her arm, she screamed back: “I’m fine.”

She was cut and bleeding, but it didn’t look too deep. An agonized moan escaped her mouth, as her phone beeped, signaling the point she had made.

“Are you ok?”, Kuina asked, automatically grabbing her arm to have a better look at her wound.

“I just said that I’m fine, didn’t I?”, Ino growled. This was so frustrating. It was her dominant hand.

“I’ll take the lead”, Kuina announced and wanted to continue walking, but Ino grabbed her wrist.

“Look”, she said shoving her arm in Kuinas face, “That happened because you took the lead. Stay the fuck behind me.”

With that she walked off, machete up in her left hand, cautiously walking around the next corner. Her phone beeped again. A quick look on it showed her that her team had gained another point. She grinned. Now it would be enough if no one else on their team got killed.

She heard a scream and started looking around, “Its ok”, she told Kuina, showing her the phone. They had gained another point. Kuina nodded.

She was just about to turn the next corner as she stopped, raising the machete over her head, and hacking down the second she turned the corner.

“I guess it really is a matter of time until one of us kills the other”, Niragi said laughing, as their machetes clashed.

Ino took down the machete that she was holding up with both hands, grasping her injury with her other hand.

“Fuck”, Niragi groaned, grabbing her arm, “That’s not fine.”

“It will be”, she said, taking her arm out of his grip, “Don’t worry. Made a kill yet?”

Niragi shook his head, “You are the first people I´ve seen since I got in the labyrinth.”

“Looks like I’m winning”, Ino said grinning, walking off.

She only heard one set of feet walking behind her, so she turned. Niragi was right behind her, Kuina was still standing where she had left her.

“Come on princess”, Ino said smiling, “I want to give Niragi a chance to beat me!”

Niragi had walked ahead and was now hollering. He found someone from the opposing team and was using his ax to cut the man down.

Niragi turned back to them, after the man he was axing down stopped moving. Blood had splattered all over his face and shirt, “It’s a tie, princess”, he screamed joyfully, turning back around and started walking away.

“No ties for you!”, Ino laughed, pushing past Niragi and running ahead.

“What the fuck, Ino”, Niragi laughed, following her.

“Kuina, move your sweet ass over here”, Ino ordered, laughing and ran off.

After a couple of moments, she could hear Kuinas footsteps behind her. She grinned. She was already listening to her.

She stopped in her tracks as she heard Kuina scream. She was lying on the ground, a big bulky man sitting on her stomach, fighting to put a knife to her throat. Ino ran back, trying to pull the man off the fighting girl. He backhanded her, causing Ino to fall back and hit her head on the floor.

She heard another scream and looked up to see Niragi swinging his ax one more time, making the man fall to his side and off Kuina. Ino scrambled to her knees and scooted over to Kuina, helping her up.

“Are you ok?”, she asked, one hand hovering over her neck, there are fine line of blood was glistening.

“I´m alright”, Kuina answered, standing up, “You must’ve hurt your head. You fell pretty hard.”

Ino wanted to say that she was ok, but she only hissed in pain, as Niragi touched the back of her head.

“You’re bleeding”, he informed her in a judging voice, “If you continue like that, you’ll die today.”

She punched his arm.

Four to one, we’re winning”, she said, taking Kuinas hand and dragging her along, “Only five minutes remaining.”

The last five minutes were uneventful. Noone else died until the time ran out and lasers killed everyone left in the losing team. As they got back to their base, the two civilian women were already gone and they were the last militants to arrive.

“Let’s go home”, Niragi said, not even stopping to look at his comrades.

The car ride was silent. They had split up to be able to take both cars to the beach and Niragi was driving. He was shooting concerned glances in her direction every once in a while, trying to ignore the feeling that he should’ve been able to protect her. Kuina was the only one they had taken with them. The poor girl was sitting in the back, staring at Inos bloody, matted hair. She was just trying to win the game, Kuina thought, it doesn’t mean anything that she saved you.

As soon as they arrived on the beach and the car was parked, Niragi got out and opened Inos door. She let him help her exit the car and walk her in the direction of the beach, before stopping and turning back.

Kuina had gotten out of the car and was walking at a safe distance. Ino smiled at her and pointed at her head, “You’ll have to pay me back for this”, she said, “tomorrow morning. I’ll find you.”

With that she turned and let Niragi lead her to the medical center. Kuina was still standing there, staring at the women as she disappeared in the beach.

Pay her back? How? She didn’t have much time to think about it, as Chishiya was already approaching her. Niragi was too busy supporting his best to pick a fight with the shorter man, he didn’t even look at him, as he walked past them.

Niragi had led her to the medical area and Ann had patched her up.

Laying in her bed, Niragi beside her, they were examining her bandaged arm.

“I thought only snitches get stitches”, she mumbled, poking around the edges of the bandage.

Sighing Niragi turned to her, extending his index finger and starting to draw the line of her scar. It was just a fine line on her face and throat, but it turned to an angry red convulsing scar at her collarbone. He knew that it extended in the same shape between her breasts, down to her stomach, before turning back to a fine line and stopping at her navel. It had been gruesome. They didn’t think she would survive it, but she did.

“You weren’t snitching back then, were you?”, he asked jokingly, finger resting on her collarbone.

“I´m just saying that I just once want to get stitches because I’ve been snitching”, she laughed.

“I would be happier if you stopped getting stitches”, Niragi argued, making Ino laugh, “Are you really going to meet that girl tomorrow?”, he asked, finger still on her scar, “Kuina?”

Ino nodded, “She is very pretty.”

“She’s always with Chishiya”, Niragi groaned, “You should not trust her.”

“I’m not saying that I trust her”, Ino finally turned to face Niragi, cupping his face with one hand, “I’m just saying that she’s verry pretty and I want her to be mine.”

#hikari kuina #kuina #alice in borderland #niragi #suguru niragi #kuina x reader #kuina x oc #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #niragi x reader

[coochiequeens]

For the 40th anniversary celebration of the start of the Greenham Common Women’s Peace Camp, I have all the happy and fun memories, but I also have more serious ones. Here is an account of 19 April 1984, when my 18-year-old self was attacked and raped (with a non-standard ending) not far away from the Green Gate of the Greenham Common Women’s Peace Camp. As I realised only 32 years later in reporting to the police I had, in fact, taught a man consent while he was raping me, and had singularly failed to be a v-i-c-t-i-m even while being raped! Isn’t that something to celebrate? People tend to obsess over the rape aspect, but that was the day I did not die.

The success of my deployment of NVDA (Non-Violent Direct Action) training and Quaker principles in the face of overwhelming male violence is one cause for celebration; the fact I did not die, another. Another cause for celebration was that I was able to recover, physically and psychologically, in the immediate aftermath of both rape and a violent physical assault in a women-only, female-only community where no-one told me it was my fault. They even found an amazing Australian doctor visiting the camp for the day. I assumed she’d done this kind of thing before, it was all exactly what I needed. A couple of years later, she told me she’d never encountered anything like it. Women called by at the best bender where I was cared for to commiserate, and almost uniquely, I had role-models that there could be an after, as among them, women would let me know quietly, “that happened to me too”. It was just, well, amazing how everyone pitched in and just let me do what I needed to do. I had no-one telling me it was my fault, I knew it was ridiculous to blame myself for not missing the bus that morning. Did I experience hell in recovering? To hell and back over a two-year period hell, yeah! In fact, you do try to unpick everything in sequence, and I did blame myself for not missing the bus, but not seriously and not for long. I never felt dirty or ashamed of what was, in fact, the most heroic act of my life! Certainly, nobody offered me a bath, and I certainly hadn’t unscrambled I might not need one, nor would that have communicated to others. That’s quite weird when you think about it.

Greenham Common: I have served three brief prison sentences

It was for reasons of criminal offences committed in connection to these protests against nuclear weapons that I also served three brief prison sentences in HMP Holloway (now closed). Lorna Richardson and I chained ourselves to a military helicopter in Waterloo Station (which is quite a story in itself), finally they found some HUGE bolt cutters to unchain us, but not before we had had a jolly sing-song, which the commuters were all enjoying. We spent the night in a police cell, and decorated it with paper chains of women’s symbols from toilet paper, and realised the windows created a perfect chess board for if we got bored. Well, she pleaded ‘not guilty’ for the sake of conscience and I pleaded ‘guilty’ for the sake of conscience, so she was released and I wasn’t, because another fit of conscience prevented me from undertaking I would not return to the helicopter. Even the prosecutor came to the holding cell to plead with me, and he told me how awful Holloway would be – and it was kind of funny! As a rather bashful ex-con, referring to the vulnerability of some male inmates, said on BBC Radio 4 (June 2021): “The stereotypes of violent male prisoners are only half true.” Even in the communal processing cell with our sad excuses for dressing gowns, which didn’t cover much, it was patently clear those stereotypes were not true at all for female prisoners. Indeed, I was speedily clocked by another prisoner who took me under her wing: “You’re one of those Greenham Women, they’re great! They choose to come ‘ere, not like us lot. Don’t you worry, I’ll look out for you.”  It was three months to the day, after the attack at Greenham Common, and I remember feeling completely SAFE. I slept extremely well knowing there were at least a dozen heavily locked doors between me and the nearest male genitalia – a.k.a. primary weapon of violence used by male people against female people. Some blokie came in at midnight to deal with the cockroaches, but we were in an eight-woman cell, and he was accompanied by female prison officers. Apparently, the cockroaches only came out at midnight, so that’s when he had to come and deal with them. It is well known that, for some women, prison sentences represent the only gaps in highly chaotic lives, and that the incidence of experience of sexual violence, whether as children or adults, is far higher than the average female population. Over the three brief sentences, I never met anyone I was afraid of. It’s an experience I just would not be without. It was penal reformers like John Howard whose legacy continues in the Howard League for Penal Reform and Elizabeth Fry who campaigned and gave evidence that female prisoners were suffering the extra punishment of sexual degradation by both male prisoners and warders such that the 1823 Gaols Act came into force on 1 January across the whole of the then British Empire, rapidly followed by the rest of the world, giving us, all of us around the world:

-sex-segregated prisons

-female warders for female inmates

In those three brief prison sentences, I witnessed at close hand the vulnerability of women prisoners, which remains with me to this day. When I first heard of the placement of male transwomen in female prisons, I was just appalled, knowing the cells with no doors on the toilets, and communal showering leaving very little to the imagination, which is fine when it is all women of the female variety. Each evening as it became dusk, I would think of them being banged up at 5 PM, with only a mug of cocoa through the hatch at 8 PM – and I knew I wouldn’t sleep in those circumstances and become highly reactive even if said male transwoman was perfectly harmless. I also remembered that you might not be able to get to the alarm bell, which might or might not be responded to promptly. I would be very likely to ‘lose it’ in a PTS (post-traumatic stress) way and for that to look like something that should be punished rather than something that ought to be understood as created by the intolerable reactivation of trauma. That anxiety and concern has motivated me to get to the bottom of the UK government Ministry of Justice (MOJ) Sexual Offender Statistics and the HMPPS Offender Equalities Reports, which have contained ‘transgender’ statistics since 31 March 2016. I also have a full set of four years of transgender sexual offender data. The sexual offending of the transgender population (both sexes) nothing like so low as the extremely low incidence of the …FEMALE population, with a ratio of one female sexual offender to 104 male sexual offenders for both 2017-18 and 2018-19.

Mixed Wards 1: NHS-Acquired Post Traumatic Stress

In December 2007, an otherwise healthy professional engineer got a bit carried away constructing a wind turbine and had a minor medical complaint, which they couldn’t diagnose, because I was female and they omitted to ask my profession! If the medics can’t manage human condition ‘female’, all kinds of errors can creep in if there is any confusion about actual biological sex. A simple trip to A&E (emergency department) turned into a nightmare succession of all the worst things any number of well-intentioned doctors and nurses could do to a rape survivor. One male doctor became actively hostile I wouldn’t let him examine me below the knicker line. I explained to the female General Practitioner I was a rape survivor and hoped for a female consultant, on the phone she slipped into casual stereotypes of rape, calling me ‘v-i-c-t-i-m’; I interrupted her to tell her, “No I am a rape survivor, I told you that clearly.“ They wouldn’t do that to a cancer or stroke survivor. Worse was to follow, and a happy, healthy rape survivor who arrived with a simply physical complaint returned home a gibbering wreck. At every subsequent appointment, it got worse, with one female registrar reassuring me, “Don’t worry, all our staff are CRB checked“; in fact, I had asked about male patients as a deliberate tactic to communicate my fears. A professional who should have picked up my underlying anxiety was in complete oblivion of the rapes occurring up and down the land, the subject of the current scandal. This daughter and granddaughter of doctors understood she was not safe and jumped the NHS (National Health Service) ship, and went instead to Poland to surgery, where women are safe in female-only wards. I can tell you, it is damn scary signing a consent form in seven pages of legal Polish, but not as scary as a mixed wards with NHS clinicians oblivious to the blindingly obvious dangers for female patients. Another physical problem became apparent – addressing climate change can get you into all kinds of trouble! I couldn’t afford a repeat of surgery in Poland, and I thought to myself “So what can go wrong?” Everything and anything, as it turned out. They had a go at me for going to Poland, forcing me to disclose that I was a rape survivor and I was scared of mixed wards. An extremely experienced matron was then in so much shock, she failed to complete the consenting procedure. On 1 May 2008, the then-Health Secretary Alan Johnson was boasting that “we are in touching distance of eradicating mixed wards“. I was happy but not confident. My GP checked for me and rang back, and said “I think you had better sit down.” They knew I was a rape survivor, because they had forced me to disclose, but were cheerily placing me on a ward full of men, which would only have been mixed by my presence on it. I tried and failed to get my head around that. I hobbled into the hospital with a letter saying I couldn’t, and then hobbled home again. Then they had an available slot on Friday the 13th, but the failure of consent of the shocked matron for a procedure to my nether regions meant I was “indecently assaulted on the operating table”. It took two years to discover why I kept melting down in medical environments, including GP surgeries. The hospital paperwork extracted by the new GP revealed there had been NO CONSENT, and it transpires that doctors do not realise that the word ‘consent’ in medical consent is the same word that separates a bit of rumpy-pumpy from life-altering catastrophic rape. There are, in fact, two separate issues, quite apart from the privacy and dignity:

1 - the physical and sexual safety of female patients

2 - the HIGH incidence of experience of rape or other sexual violence in the female population, for which therapy or rape crisis is no magic cure (it is a ‘vulnerability’, which is the primary cause of Post Traumatic Stress in the female population, but when I test doctors on that one, they always need a little nudge to get the answer and usually blush that they didn’t think of it)

Even IF male transwomen could be demonstrated to have a rate of sexual offending at or below that of the female population, there remain the difficulty that a huge proportion of female patients have been subject to specifically male violence in one form or another for whom the presence of male people is intrinsically triggering of medical symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress. No, not my Disorder, the consequence of living in a very disordered society with respect to male violence, in which even the Victims Commissioner: we are witnessing the de-criminalisation of rape, i.e. no kind of justice for which Robert Buckland the Minister of Justice and Priti Patel the Home Secretary have apologised, at their announcement of the End-to-End Rape Review (18 June 2021). Sadly, my optimistic heart jumped for joy when mis-read it as the End of Rape Review. Perhaps if the statistics VITAL for the protection of women and girls from male people weren’t buried at the bottom of the MOJ database and completely inaccessible to most women and their lawyers and advocacy organisations, we might be able to take that apology more seriously.

I hope this account of my tale of woe, which has left me permanently unable to hold down a job, highlights how absolutely critical it is that spaces such prisons, NHS hospital wards, changing rooms and public toilets, especially in schools, must remain sex-segregated, within the context of an overwhelmingly heterosexual society, in which what I know from personal experience is how little time and with how little intention a man can overpower and rape a woman and change the whole course of her life. That being true for prisons and hospitals and other institutions, then it is even more necessary for female rape crisis provision and domestic violence refuges, where women are, by definition, traumatised by male violence. Even the coverage of the antics of Edinburgh Rape Crisis have left me feeling physically sickened, and indeed, have had a number of traumatic flashbacks to my own excellent access to rape crisis in the late 1980s, which was 24/7/365 and female-only. I don’t think I would be here now without it. It is evident that this coverage has also left other survivors I know flailing, and of course, then there is the additional support you want to give them. Even the coverage at once removed is time-consuming and distressing. Is nothing sacred? Brighton & Hove News (9 Dec 2019)

Sunday Times (9 Dec 2019)

3rd October 2018: Video Welcoming the Duchess & Duke of Sussex on behalf of Female Survivors of Rape and other forms of sexual violence and abuse in Brighton, Hove & Sussex addressing the issue of male transwomen concealed within Brighton Survivors Network, which we feel we can no longer use.

hosted on www.objectnow.org A unbidden thought drifted into my mind after the Investiture ceremony at Buckingham Palace: “Maybe they’d take it away if they knew I was a rape survivor.”

#Rape survivors #Female only spaces #Rape survivors are not transphobic for wanting female medical professionals #Greenham Common Women’s Peace Camp #1823 Gaols Act #NVDA (Non-Violent Direct Action) #Youtube

[eijiroukiriot]

lightning in a bottle (kiribaku) - chapter 1

- Produce 101/Kpop AU - Slow-ish Burn - 6.8k words - Rated T -

Summary: In which Kirishima Eijirou tries (struggles) to accept that he deserves (which he doesn’t) to rank as high as he does week after week (by some crazy fluke), all while trying to unscramble the puzzle that is Genius Entertainment’s Bakugou Katsuki.

Preview: Before, Eijirou didn’t notice it as much, but now that Bakugou is talking directly to him, it feels weird to be so low down. “We’re on the same team! It’s gonna be hard to get along if you don’t know everyone’s names,” he protests, standing up. “Dude, it’s written on my shirt.”

Bakugou looks at him like the hair in the shower drain rose up and started talking. “I don’t care who you are.”

“That’s not very leaderly,” Eijirou says, not because he wants to start anything, but because it’s not. Pretty objectively.

It seems like it pushes a button of Bakugou’s, though, from the way he closes in on him. “I don’t care that you were some hotshot leader in the last challenge, Shitty Hair-”

Bakugou is barely taller than him. It’s not intimidating. “So you do know who I am?”

Note: it’s been a while but I’ve finally pulled something together to post!! updates might be kind of slow on this one but writing it is very fun and self indulgent so hopefully i’ll be able to get us deeper into it soon :) 

Read on AO3

#kiribaku #bnha #kirishima eijirou #bakugou katsuki #produce 101 #my writing #HI...HELLO......IT HAS FINALLY STARTED.......... #i will take this chance to state once again that this fic is extremely For Me and What I Want To Write #which really makes the writing process better bc i'm just so fond of it #so i know it is very niche but i still would love to hear what you guys have to say abt it!! #i think it's gonna shake out to about 6 or 7 chapters and probably around 50k words #so basically the biggest fic i've ever written. and hopefully something i can be proud of! #i'm gonna log off now and go do something else but please take a look if you are at all interested :)

[missdreamsalot]

The Queen’s Guard-CH.4: Lost and Found

A/N: Thank you @lordofhorizons for helping me through this series with your amazing ideas and suggestions.

And Thank you everyone for your continuous love and support!

Happy reading~ *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

Catch up here- Masterlist

Main Pairings: Liam x OC, Leo x OC

Future Pairings: Maxwell x OC, Bastien x OC, Drake x Olivia x OC

Series Summary: A rotten apple in the family threatens their lives and there is only one way to get rid of bad blood.

Series Warnings: Violence, Language, Sexual Content, Angst, Dark Situations, Character Death

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of The Royal Romance, or Rules of Engagement; they belong to Pixelberry. I only own my OC’s. 

Ch. 4: Lost and Found

Liam couldn’t believe his eyes. This woman standing before him- the very one he fell madly in love with- was pregnant. 

Elle backpedaled right into the man’s chest, bringing her hands to her belly. Liam couldn’t bring his eyes away from her, a million thoughts running through his head.

“Wow, Elle, is this why you were in such a rush to get home?” The man stated good-naturedly.

“Ren-” she warned.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Ren extended his arm and Liam mirrored him. “Name’s Ren.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Liam.” They shared a handshake. “I’m actually looking for Valentina.” Liam spoke a bit too hastily, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. 

“Well, you’re in the right place.” Ren grinned and motioned to the apartment, shaking a pair of keys from his pocket. “Shall we?” Elle merely remained frozen where she stood, eyes fixated at the ground. Liam wished he could read her mind, but it seemed this whole situation left her just as speechless as he was.

Before Ren can get the key in, the door opened and a little girl, probably no older than 6, stood underneath. “Hey, Felic-!”

“Ah!” she gasped and screamed when she saw Liam. The door slammed shut. “It’s the King! The King!” Her voice squealed on the other side.

Liam only smiled kindly as Ren stared at him in question. “King?” A tiny smile crept across Elle’s face, failing to fight the amusement, however, it vanished just as quickly as it appeared.

There was another voice Liam didn’t recognize and the door rattled open again, this time revealing a woman with long black hair, an exasperated look upon her face. “I’m sorry. Felicity is acting crazy.” This, Felicity, clung tightly at her side, staring at Liam.

“But I’m not crazy, mama! That’s the king, I swear!” She pointed an accusing finger at him.

“It’s not polite to point. Come on in.” she said, ignoring her daughter’s pleas. Elle rushed inside, bolting past both men which earned her a look from the woman at the door.

Ren chuckled, “Thanks, Athena, and excuse Danielle, she’s a bit flustered. If I gotta bet, it’s probably because of the king here.”

Liam rubbed his neck rather bashfully as he entered. “My apologies for startling your daughter.”

Felicity hurried back to her mother with a magazine in her hand. “See, see!” She waved it in her mother’s face.

Athena’s eyes bulged at the front cover, “Oh my god.”

“He’s here for Val.” Ren stated delightfully, unpacking the groceries.

“Wait a second.” Athena’s head shook rapidly side to side as if doing so would unscramble the mess in it. “Are you the guy she wandered off to Europe to be with? I can’t believe this!” she laughed in disbelief. 

“No, we’re not-“ But Liam’s words fell in deaf ears. 

Athena climbed halfway up the spiral staircase to the left of the kitchen. She cupped her hands around her mouth, “Hey, Val! Your boyfriend is here!”

Oh, boy, Liam thought. This wasn’t how he pictured things would go. He certainly didn’t picture Elle pregnant either, yet here she was.

The ceiling creaked overhead as weight graced the second floor. Bare, slender legs stepped down, revealing a very sleepy Valentina in nothing but an oversized t-shirt. Her hair was disheveled and pointed out in different directions. She yawned animatedly, rubbing her eyes. “Why are you yelling so early in the morning?” It was noon.

Athena snickered, “Girl, it’s 12:45, and your king is here.”

Val straightened up. “King-?” Her eyes landed on Liam.

“Morning, Valentina.” Liam greeted, his cheeks slightly flushed at her state of being. She blushed brightly at the realization and cursed, spinning back up the stairs. 

“Oh, c’mon! It’s not like he hasn’t seen anything before!” Athena yelled out. Liam could feel the heat creeping up the back of his neck. He sensed movement beside him and found Felicity there, squinting suspiciously. She was holding another magazine; on the front, Madeleine and himself happily side by side on their wedding day.

“You’re married.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“What?!” Her mother gasped, ripping the publication from her hands. “I have so many questions…And where are you getting these magazines from?”

“Daddy buys them for me.”

Valentina stomped back down, taking two steps at a time. But in her haste, she stumbled over the last step, losing her balance. Liam instinctively rushed forward, catching her in his arms. In response, she tightly grabbed a hold of him to stay up right.

Elle stepped out from the washroom to find them entangled in each other’s arms. From her perspective, Liam realized it probably looked like they were embracing. She looked shocked, but quickly averted her gaze as if she intruding on a private moment. This wasn’t helping his case. 

“Are you all right?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, I think so-Ah.” She cringed in pain. He retracted his grip on her left arm to find blood on his palm.

“Let me see.” Athena came up, gently pushing Val’s sleeve away and observing the blood-stained gauze. “I need to change it again. ‘cuse us, your majesty.” She smiled nicely when he didn’t move. He took him a moment to realize he was still holding on to Val.

“Oh, right.” He recoiled like he’d been shocked. Definitely not helping his case. He looked over at Elle, who was ignoring the scene by helping Ren in the kitchen.

“You need to be more careful, Val. It’s not going to heal if you keep doing things that aggravate it.” Athena chastised as she sat Val down.

“Yes, mother-” Val yelped, “Ouch!” Her friend purposely applied pressure to her wound. Felicity throttled over with a black duffle bag. “Here you go, mama.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.” Athena removed medical equipment from it, laying it out neatly on the granite top.

“Are you a doctor?” Liam asked in curiosity.

She answered, “A nurse, actually.” He watched as she cleansed and wrapped Val’s arm with expert precision. “Now, I’m going to recommend to you, again, that you relax. No mosh pits or punching people’s faces in, got it?” 

“May I ravish Danielle with unrelenting love?” Val asked, feigning innocence as she glanced over at said woman stuffing cans in the cupboard. Liam’s eyebrows rose as the declaration. 

“She doesn’t want your love.” Elle hurled without looking back.

“Oh, how you wound me!” Val fell dramatically over the stool, a hand on her chest. Elle rolled her eyes as Ren and Felicity laughed. Liam fought back a grin.

“Knock it off.” Athena bumped her bag deliberately against Val’s head. “As much as I’d love to stick around, I have to head out,” she said, collecting her belongings. “Let’s go, Felicity.”

“No, I don’t wanna go!” Her daughter protested. “I want to stay with King Liam.” But her wails would not stir her mother who practically dragged her to the door.   

“Your majesty.” Athena bowed comically as she passed him by, although she meant no disrespect. Felicity curtsied, which Liam found absolutely adorable.

“It was pleasure meeting you, Lady Felicity.” He grinned, kneeling down and taking her hand. He planted a kiss on top, which resulted in her eyes bulging from their sockets. She suddenly threw her arms around him. “Oh!”

“Felicity!” Her mother scolded.

 Liam chuckled, returning the gesture. “It’s quite all right.”

“I don't want to go.” Felicity expressed sadly. 

“Something tells me this won’t be the last time we meet.” Liam responded. “But until then, you must listen to your mother. Understood?”

She nodded happily. Liam waved as they left and when the door closed, Ren spoke.

“You’re all set, sis.” He proclaimed, shutting the fridge.

“Thanks…” Val turned to Elle who was standing at the island, folding bags. “Hey, how are you? How’d the appointment go?”

Elle forced a smile. “I’m fine, and everything looked great.” She looked down at her growing belly. “We just came by to drop off some food since you’ve been gone. I’m going to head back to the estate.”

“I was hoping we could talk a little bit…”

She bit her lip. “I think you and King Liam have some catching up to do, so we’ll leave.”

“Elle.” She finally turned to him as her name fell from his lips and for the second time that day their eyes connected. He nearly lost himself in them, but he forced himself to push through. “I-I came here for you.”

Elle looked back and forth between Val and Liam, eyes beginning to water. “What are you two trying to accomplish here?”

“Elle, I think he deserves to know the truth.” Val stated.

“Why does that matter?” She cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Nothing is going to change. He’s married and the scandal will always be there!” Her fingers clung protectively around her belly.

In the back of Liam’s mind, he knew there was a possibility that the baby was his. The first, and last time, they were together was the night of the coronation, 7 months ago. 

“The baby, is it…?” He couldn’t even finish his sentence, but the silence alone answered his question.The anguish that numbed his body for months poured out. “Were you ever going to tell me?!” 

She whimpered. “I-I tried reaching out to you a couple of times, but every time I would hear your voice I just couldn’t go through with it!”

The phone calls from the unknown number, Liam recalled, unable to speak from the growing tightness in his throat.

“I would remember everything that happened…” Elle wiped her face, only for more tears to fall as the memories of that unforgettable night flooded back. “How you chose Madeleine and how I didn’t hear from you for days!”

“Elle, you have to understand. I did it to protect you. I couldn’t-”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to hear any of your excuses. Ren, c-can we go please?” She stuttered. Liam wanted nothing more than to hold her tightly in his arms, to make her understand, but she wouldn’t give him the chance. She sped to the door that Ren held open for her and walked out without sparing another glance. Liam could only watch, his eyes glazing over.

Ren peeked over his shoulder, catching his sister’s gaze. “Val, I knew you were up to something, but this isn’t how you fix things.”

“The truth would’ve came out eventually.” Val said softly.

“Did you not think about how much this would hurt her and him?”

“No, I didn’t,” she confessed. “I was only thinking about the baby, and how he or she deserves to have both parents in their life. Is that such a bad thing?”

Ren sighed, “Do you still believe the baby will have that after this?” He didn’t wait for an answer, and before he turned to leave, he threw her a white paper bag. She was quick to react, catching it with two hands. “Don’t forget to take those.” He turned his back to them, shutting the door as he left.

Liam, torn between feeling elated and distraught, took a seat beside Val. “I’m going to be a father...” He muttered, cradling his head in hands.

She leaned over, crossed arms resting on the cold, granite top. “This didn’t go quite as planned.” She sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, but I didn’t exactly organize things nor have I been the most reliable person as of late.” 

“You know I shouldn’t have been so impulsive and shown up here.” Liam admitted. “So, you don’t have to apologize for not telling me. I tried to take a tip from Leo’s book of recklessness, but I’m clearly not cut out for it.” He stood up.

Val stirred, looking troubled. “Are you leaving? Like back to Cortana?”

Liam couldn’t help but laugh through his sadness. “Cordonia. And no, I’m not. It’s like you said, ‘Family is important.’” He recited. “I’m not giving up.” 

She gave a slanted grin. “Glad to hear. Any luck on finding Tariq?”

“Unfortunately, no.” Liam ran a hand through his hair. “I had a couple friends of mine take a look at some places while I came here and…” He retrieved his phone from his pocket. “Nothing, yet.” He sighed, looking at the messages from Drake and Maxwell. 

“Mind if I join your search party?” she proposed.

“I don’t see why not. Are you hungry? We could stop by somewhere and meet up with the others.” He suggested. “However, I’m not familiar with L.A. Any recommendations?”

“I know a place, and it’s within walking distance, if you don’t mind it.”

“Not at all.” He smiled gently at her. Val studied him thoughtfully.  “Is something the matter?”

“No, sorry. You just…reminded me of someone.” She affirmed with downcast eyes. Before he could ask more about it, she turned away. “Anyway, let’s get going.”

Liam let out a steady breath as he stepped outside, taking a moment to bask under the warmth of the sun. He waited patiently for Val as she, in her terms, “got her shit together.” 

She eventually stumbled out, wiggling into her jacket. Liam noticed her quickly stuff an orange container inside. She caught his eye. “Just some vitamins,” she fed his curiosity and raced down the front steps. As far as Liam knew, vitamins didn’t require a prescription, but he said nothing.

“Elle mentioned an estate. Would it be too farfetched to say that it belongs to your family?” He asked as they began their walk to the diner down the street.

“Certainly not, and, unfortunately, yes.” Val pronounced dreadfully, earning a chuckle from the King. “That last thing I like to talk about is my family’s money. My father is a successful businessman and the only good thing about that is the fact that he is away most of the time - like now. He’s currently in London with my stepmother and little brother, Arden. From what I remember, he’s there formulating a partnership with Sloan Enterprises.”

Liam perked up in interest. “Really? I happen to know someone who works in the company. He’s the legal representative, Ras-”

“Rashad.” She finished for him, staring amusedly.

“I take it you know him.”

“Know him?” Val chuckled, “Another unfortunate matter is being the eldest daughter. My father tried to set us up. Suffice to say, it didn’t work out but it seems Rashad is willing to set differences aside for the sake of the company.”

“Yes, he’s always been work-oriented. He also recently proposed to a close friend of mine and he’s taken time off work in light of their engagement so they could make preparations for the wedding.”

“Well, that’s nice. I’m glad he found someone.” She paused momentarily.  “The reason things didn’t work with him was because I’d met Leo…Rashad noticed how ‘uninterested’ I was. Thankfully, he was kind about it. My father, however, wasn’t so happy. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with him, so the sentiment was nothing new.”

“Have you spoken to Leo?” Liam asked. “He’s been worried about you.” 

She snorted. “He didn’t seem worried when I saw him the other night.” Her attitude may of come off as uncaring, but Liam could tell by the look on her face she was very much bothered by it.

“Ah. I’ll admit the my brother could be an asshole, but he does care for you; probably more than he realizes. I also believe his feelings are understandable because, to be fair, you haven’t been completely honest with him either,” He reminded. 

She sighed. “I’m aware...” 

Within view of the diner, Liam spotted Drake and Maxwell waiting for them out front. Maxwell was the first to see them.

With contagious enthusiasm, he jumped forward and greeted them as they came up. “Hey! You must be Val. It’s nice to meet you.” He squeezed her tightly into a hug. “A friend of Elle’s is a great friend of mine!”

“Likewise.” She replied happily.

When Drake saw her, his eyes widened in recollection. “You!”

Val blinked for a moment before snapping her fingers energetically. “Oh! You were at Olivia’s place. Drake, right? You look different with a shirt on.” She smirked as his face reddened. “I’m also going to add that you may have some competition. I’m not going to say who though.”

Drake cleared his throat soundly. “We’re just friends.”

“Whaat? You never said anything about you and Olivia being a thing,” Maxwell pouted, clearly seeing through his friend’s facade.

“That’s because we’re not a thing. And Olivia’s a grown woman, she could date whoever she wants.” Despite his nonchalant demeanor, Liam could tell that the thought of Olivia with another man bothered him.

“I didn’t realize you knew Olivia.” Liam chimed in.

“Hardly. Ren and I helped her with a job a while back and I happened to run into to this one when I went to visit.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

Drake sighed exaggeratedly. “Can we eat now? I’m starving.” Liam clapped his best friend’s shoulder as they walked into the diner where they settled into a booth and ordered. 

While they ate, Liam caught them up on what happened at the apartment. 

Drake nearly choked on his drink. “Pregnant!?” he coughed.

Maxwell gasped, “This is great; a mini Liam and the heir Cordonia needs.”

The last part didn’t sit well with Val, Liam noticed as she grew quiet. “I would love to have Elle back, but if she chooses not to, I will not fight her on that matter.” He hoped he didn’t come to that.

“Of course. Whatever is best for her and the baby.” Drake agreed.

“That being said, finding Tariq is our main priority.”

Drake filled him in on the last places to look into. Once they finished their meals, they were back on the road and to the next destination where they eventually found themselves in front of the door to the next apartment.

“4B. This is it.” Drake confirmed. Liam knocked twice and waited for a response.

Nothing.

He knocked again and was only met with silence once more. His fingers carefully wrapped around the doorknob and he turned. When the door opened without any resistance, Liam immediately sensed something wasn’t right.

“I’ll head in first, Li.” Drake volunteered. He peered in cautiously before stepping in and the others followed one by one.

“Maxwell, do you recognize any of his belongings?”

The room was far too immaculate for someone to be living there and from what Maxwell explained, Tariq wasn’t the neatest person in the world. Liam wandered into the kitchen, finding nothing out of the ordinary except a teakettle on the stove. He noticed an empty cup on the countertop beside it, a teabag hanging on the side. He lifted the kettle. It was full.

“Hey.” Drake called out. “Take a look at this.” He pointed to a stain on the carpet in the living room. “If I’m not mistaken, it looks like blood.”

“There is shattered glass here, too.” Val proclaimed by a barren end-table. “It definitely looks like something happened here.”

Maxwell reappeared then. “Tariq was here. I checked the bedroom and recognized the designer clothes. What’s weird is that there is an outfit laid out on the bed like he was getting ready to go somewhere...”

A chill ran down Liam’s spine as despair settled into his bones.

“What happened to Tariq?”

><><><><><><><><><

Tags List: Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

@riseandshinelittleblossom @sirbeepsalot @lordofhorizons @amandablink @kingliam2019 @gkittylove99 @hopefulmoonobject​ @cordonianroyalty @cordonianprincess @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @kimmiedoo5 @arcticrivers @mom2000aggie @yourmajesty09 @seriallover99​ @texaskitten30

#choices trr #trr liam #trr leo #trr fanfic #choices liam x oc #choices leo #choices the royal romance #choices fanfiction #choices leo x oc #Leo Rys #king liam #drake walker #maxwell beaumont #king liam of cordonia #prince leo #choices king liam #rules of engagement

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Mettle Of A Man; Part Twelve

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

Part Six: Meeting Preston And Matthew

Part Seven: Radstag And Radstorm

Part Eight: The Return To Sanctuary Hills

Part Nine: Domestic Ruminations

Part Ten: Institutionalized

Part Eleven: Two Weeks, Three Days

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains a brief scene of attempted sexual assault. Stay safe!]

Mark twenty-eight nuclear warheads .

  Backhand squinted down at the paper, up at Ingram and then back at the paper. "Oh, is that all?" She asked sarcastically. "What, you don't want me to grab milk and eggs while I'm out?"

  " Easy , smartass." Proctor Ingram laughed. "We know the general location. All we need is for you to sweep the area, get rid of hostiles and secure the payload. Simple!"

  "Yeah? Where's the general location then?" Backhand challenged.

  Ingram spread the map out on the desk, tapping the area circled in the lower left hand corner. "It's a military site, Prescott I think? One of our scribes was able to triangulate it using the documents you and Danse scooped from that veteran housing development."

  "In the Glowing Sea." Backhand groaned. "I had kind of hoped to never need to go back out there." I'd better start getting some damn perks for all the legwork I'm doing , she thought uncharitably.

  " Theirs not to make reply, theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die ." Ingram quoted at her, laughing again when Vega grumbled under her breath. "C'mon Vega, you're like the Brotherhood's poster child for Commonwealth recruitment. Where's your Ad Victoriam spirit? You have to spearhead this, if only for the eventual publicity."

  "Ah, the press ." Backhand retorted. "Who's my backup, then?"

  "Your sponsor, obviously! Though I'm guessing after this you'll be welcomed into the fold for real." Ingram mused, her expression thoughtful. "Danse seemed better when I saw him last. I think the time off the Prydwen has really done him some good."

  Vega tried to hide her flush of pride, quickly asking, "Other than the lack of big boomers, how is Prime looking?"

  "Pretty good, I'd say! It was a real stroke of luck that you got us Madison back, even if working with her makes me want to set my pubes on fire." Ingram answered frankly. "We're both too stubborn to function well together, but sometimes we can shut up and actually get shit done. Those are the times I believe we might have a shot here."

  "Your confidence is overwhelming." Backhand said dryly. 

  The other woman gave her a lopsided grin. "I've seen too many ops go south to put all my eggs in one scientist's basket, Vega. At least we'll have the numbers of the Minutemen on our side in case Prime can't get off the ground."

  "Has Quinlan had any luck getting that information unscrambled? My buddy hit a dead end pretty early on with the encryption, and he's dying to know whether he actually helped or whether it's all junk data." 

  Truthfully Sturges had gotten much further than either of them had expected (the fact that he knew there was data on the tape at all was a miracle), but Ingram didn't exactly have to know that. The older woman's sigh didn't sound overly promising though.

  "Nothing yet. He and his scribes have been working as close to around the clock as they can get without disrupting Cade across the way. It's always a process in close quarters." The proctor hummed. "With any luck, maybe a few more days?"

  "I'll keep my fingers crossed." Backhand promised. "I know it'll probably all be considered confidential information, but still."

  …

  "No."

  " Excuse me, Paladin?" Arthur snarled.

  Danse stood by the door to the elder's quarters, his posture perfect. "I said no, Elder Maxson." He repeated. "I will not be engaging with you any longer." 

  "Dare I ask what has brought about this insubordination? " The younger man queried.

  Danse stood firm. "This is not insubordination, Elder Maxson. You have exploited me long enough and I refuse to let you continue."

  "I'll have you exiled, Paladin." Maxson threatened. "One word from me and your status goes up in smoke. We are on the brink of war with the Institute and you wish to weaken our ranks? You're a good soldier, Danse. Don't make me send you away."

  Danse shook his head. His hands, clasped at the small of his back, trembled nervously until he clenched them into fists. "I'm sorry, Elder Maxson, but I refuse to allow you to manipulate or abuse me any further." 

  "Are you disobeying a direct order from your elder, Danse?" 

  "I am simply-"

  A knock on the door to Maxson's quarters interrupted whatever Danse had intended to say, and a split second later Knight Vega poked her head around the door. "Apologies, Elder Maxson." The woman said with a salute. "I was unaware that you two were having a discussion. Paladin, we are departing in ten minutes."

  Arthur jerked his head to the side to indicate that Elizabeth should leave. " Get out , Vega." He barked. 

  She hesitated and Danse closed his eyes in defeat, knowing that he was screwed the second she departed.

  He heard the door close and Arthur was abruptly on him, one hand gripping the paladin's throat to force Danse's head against the wall as he tore at the zipper of the other man's jumpsuit. "You are going to fuck me, Danse, so I suggest you warm up to the idea." Maxson hissed against his ear.

  Danse felt nauseous, dirty as Arthur pawed at him. Say no, damn it! What's wrong with you?

  The only warning either man got was a barely-audible knock on the door before Paladin Brandis barged in. Arthur whirled on the older man, murder in his eyes for the barest second. " Brandis! " Maxson roared. "How many-"

  "I have sixteen new aspirants seeking to rise to knight or scribe, Elder Maxson!" Brandis waved a sheaf of papers at the younger man. "I also have seven squires who believe they are ready for evaluation to ascend to aspirant. Oh, was I interrupting something?" He remarked, blinking in a befuddled manner at the clearly-furious elder.

  Maxson stared back at the older paladin, his chest heaving. "Don't think for one goddamn second that I don't know exactly what you're up to, you old fool!" Arthur's blue eyes were fairly crackling with rage. 

  "Me? The only thing I'm up to is trying to get this paperwork taken care of." Brandis protested blandly. "You're so suspicious , Maxson. It won't do you any favors." Brandis seemed to finally notice Danse standing there slackjawed and the older paladin began to scold, "zip up your uniform, Danse! We're a military , not a frathouse!" His eyebrows raised, all but begging Danse to take the opening and flee.

  Danse gulped and floundered to apologize, zipping up his suit. He caught the barest glimpse of Maxson's thunderous glare before he turned tail and bolted. The cowardice burned at him, but really, what else could he do?

  He shouldered past Vega lurking just outside the door, and stormed down the catwalk to the grease pit without a word.

  Their aerial approach to the Glowing Sea was silent and riddled with turbulence. Danse could identify the territory of the area from a fair distance away, the way the radiation tinged the sky to a sinister yellowed bruise a sure indication.

  Waypoint Echo was precariously positioned on the very edge of the Glowing Sea. Danse felt a fair amount of trepidation as he and Knight Vega approached the area after they disembarked the vertibird. He had never ventured into the Glowing Sea, but he supposed there was no time like the present.

  He was glad to at least find a familiar face, although Haylen didn't appear happy to see him and Vega. The scribe looked tense, wary. Danse supposed he could understand that; the post was much less than favorably placed. They were only just outside the heavy haze of radiation, and the radstorms weren't inclined to remain stationary for too long. To say nothing of the deadly creatures that tended to emerge from the area and wander north. Waypoint Echo was not a hospitable assignment by any stretch of the imagination. 

  His scribe had never searched for the easy jobs. Danse felt a wave of pride for the woman he had sponsored back when she was nothing but an initiate. Haylen had rolled with the punches and become an admirable scribe, a loyal friend and an incredible asset to any team she joined. "Scribe Haylen!" He greeted her warmly with a salute. "Ad Victoriam. Another day, another assignment."

  "Paladin Danse," Haylen addressed him through gritted teeth, oddly not returning his salute. "Can I get a word with you before you depart? It's urgent." She was already grabbing his arm before he even nodded, the scribe leading him away from the camp. Knight Vega was listening intently while the other field scribe briefed her on their current situation and any observations they might have made.

  "Scribe Haylen, is something amiss?" The paladin asked, a little concerned once Haylen had moved him out of earshot of the encampment. 

  The petite woman whirled on him, looking more furious than Danse had ever seen her. " How could you not tell me?" She hissed. 

  Danse stared at her, bewildered. "I...what do you mean, Haylen?"

  "Don't play dumb with me, Danse! Quinlan got the list decoded. He knows . Maxson knows. Hell, maybe even Vega knows! Maybe she's leading you into a trap right now." Haylen took hold of his gauntlet once more. "Danse, you have to run ."

  "Haylen, I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about." Danse replied, thoroughly puzzled. What would Quinlan decoding the Institute information have to do with him?  

  Haylen's fingernails scraped at the worn red-orange paint denoting his rank as she gripped down even tighter. "Danse, you...do you really not…" she appeared to be trying to ask something, but couldn't seem to amass the words.

  "Take your time. Get your mind straight." Danse said kindly. "Whatever it is, I'll hear you out."

  She sobbed suddenly, her small frame rattled by the outburst. "Oh Danse , I'm so sorry." She whispered.

  …

  Backhand lingered on the edge of the camp, half-watching Haylen appear to argue with the paladin about something. Trouble in paradise? she wondered, turning the distress pulser for their endeavor over in her hands before she tucked it away in her satchel. 

  "Man, I guess whatever Rhys passed along to her earlier really has her in a twist." One of the other scribes commented. "I dunno' if I've ever seen her this heated."

  Danse thundered back towards the camp, leaving Haylen to call his name plaintively. "Ready to continue our mission, soldier?" He gritted the words out at Backhand. 

  Backhand raised an eyebrow at his sudden change of mood, but then recalled what she had interrupted earlier that morning and reasoned that he had more than every right to be a little testy. The woman simply nodded and fell into step behind him. "See you guys soon!" She said to the soldiers occupying Echo, waving in farewell. Haylen didn't wave back, the scribe looking wholly dejected. 

  Was she crying?

  "Hey Danse, is Haylen alright? She seemed upset." Backhand inquired after they had been walking for several minutes.

  "We had a discussion." was all Danse said in reply. His tone didn't exactly encourage further questioning, so Backhand decided that she should probably, maybe , just this once, not attempt to converse.

  "Sorry, didn't mean to pry." She mumbled. 

  "I'm certain you didn't. But we can't afford to be distracted on this mission." Danse instructed firmly. "There's too much at stake, Knight Vega."

  "Oh, absolutely!" Backhand agreed. 

  "I need you to take point during this engagement, as you're the one who knows where we're going." Danse paused, letting her come up alongside him. "We can't lose sight of what's important. If we do, the Institute has already won." 

  The paladin, in spite of his words, seemed out of sorts. Spacey , even. His grip on his rifle was uncharacteristically slack, especially considering how hostile their environment was. 

  Backhand was reminded of his behavior during their search for Brandis and she said as much, prodding the paladin to respond. "I'm fine. Just...thinking," he muttered. "I apologize, I'm not very good at following my own orders. I lecture you on distraction while also being distracted."

  "After this campaign is over, I vote for a little R and R. The proverbial run ashore. Sound good to you?" Backhand asked, tilting her head.

  Danse cleared his throat. "I wish I had your optimism." He said plainly. "Once the Institute hears we have these munitions, assuming the bombs are even here in the first place, it will be all-out war. I'm not so foolish to think they'll surrender or melt back into the shadows under the threat of our superior firepower. They will demand a live test." The paladin gestured vaguely around him at the blasted landscape. "I know for a fact that Maxson won't stop until the Institute is nothing but a fractured husk. The idea that there are innocent people down there, good people who will be slaughtered with the bad…" He shook his head. 

  "It's sobering." Backhand murmured in agreement, not sure why she was surprised by the paladin's display of humanity. She had been in and out of the Institute over the last few weeks, building a rapport with the various scientists and synths and also passing along pertinent information to the Brotherhood. All the while Shaun pressured her to take over his position, " before I am gone, Mother. " She hadn't known that Danse was actually listening to her field reports.

  "It's grotesque entrapment. People who wanted a better life, people who wanted to help the world, people who thought they were helping." Danse sounded disgusted and strangely upset. "Bodies snatched in the middle of the night, or lured in by the lie of bettering mankind!" He had turned to her as he ranted, his pauldrons rising and falling rapidly from the force of his body against the frame of his armor. "He's your son , Vega, how could he--"

  "He's not my son anymore." Backhand cut him off, stung by his heated words. "The man who leads the Institute may be related to me through biology, but he is not my son, Paladin Danse." She heaved a sigh, looking away. "I guess he really never was, in a way. His father...his father told me he wanted children. Once I got pregnant, though, it was like the reality of it became too much for him." Her laugh was a sad noise, mirthless and hollow. "And if he thought it was too much, imagine how I felt. I didn't really have a lot of agency in the matter, I just wanted to make him happy and when I realized that not even that could make him happy, I kind of lost it. Hence the divorce and stuff. I loved that baby more than anything in the world, but I know that I wasn't a great mom. I was in way over my head. Scared. Terrified . Alone. And then...then he was taken from me. Just like that."

  "Knight Vega, I...forgive my outburst, please. I didn't mean to imply that any of this is your fault." Danse mumbled. "I simply...I-I mean, I see you, the way you interact with the people of the Commonwealth, and I can't wrap my head around the fact that someone even tangentially related to you could be capable of such...heinous machinations."

  "I'm a byproduct of the Great War, Paladin Danse." Backhand smiled thinly. "A relic from times of pretend plenty. The Institute raised Shaun, shaped him into their perfect leader. He doesn't understand the struggles of the real world. He can't understand the ugliness of war, not like how someone who lived through it can." 

  "You would think the perfect leader would want what's best for his troops." Danse remarked.

  "He's dying , Danse. The only reason he thawed me out again is because he's dying, and the Institute wanted me to take over." Backhand confided, scoffing a little. "Can you even believe that shit? His board of directors really thought my altruistic, bleeding-heart ass would take over their body-snatching extravaganza. Hell, they seem confused every time I tell them to fuck off."

  "You turned them down?" 

  The bewilderment in his tone caught Backhand by surprise. " Yeah , Danse. Obviously."

  "The promise of returning the Commonwealth to its former glory wasn't enough to sway you?" The paladin queried, his voice laden with that rare sarcasm he employed. 

  Backhand chuckled wryly. "Did you forget the part where I've seen the Commonwealth at the peak of that former glory? It wasn't better. It was just a little less irradiated." She thumped her pauldron against his own after a moment. "Hey, I'm with you, okay? No matter what happens, we'll get through this and enjoy that sweet off-time." She promised. "I know you can't see, but I'm definitely smiling under here."

  "I can tell." Danse lapsed into contemplative silence, and Backhand wished she could see his expression. Something, anything to clue her in as to what he was thinking about. 

  They passed a crashed plane, the trail of wreckage from it extending well past Backhand's limited field of view. Danse tuned into its distress signal like a reflex, and Backhand half-listened to the mayday broadcast of Skylanes one-six-six-five. 

  "... left engine failure, we're out fifteen three at this time …"

  The plane had been coming in the day the bombs dropped. Due to its location in the Glowing Sea, Backhand could only assume no one had survived. She almost wanted to ask Danse to turn off the broadcast, but the signal quickly petered back out into static as they carefully descended the ridge past the plane.

  The shattered remains of sparse buildings jutted from the caustic ground like the incisors of a gargantuan beast, offering a semblance of shelter only to roving feral ghouls or ambitious mole rats.

  It was a man-made hellscape, awe inspiring in its grim misery, and Backhand felt like she understood Danse's taciturn mood a bit better now.

  Abruptly, a towering monolith was brought into sharp contrast against the green sky by a sullen flash of lightning. Backhand swallowed, unnerved by the stark stone structure that loomed up out of the wan light like a dark pyramid to a forgotten, terrible deity.

  She tried to shake off her fanciful thoughts, scolding herself for being so easily influenced. This wasn't some silly story, some maniac rumination on the subject of doomed expeditions and places where man shouldn't go. This was just one more thing that humanity had built.

  "And here we are." She announced needlessly. "You ready?"

  "My power armor is within nominal parameters, so I would say I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Danse replied simply. 

  Working together, they muscled the double doors open and cautiously made their way into the pyramid-like structure. Backhand grimaced at the bank vault-esque door that greeted them, raising an eyebrow and cocking her helmet at Danse. "I'll bet...fifty caps that I can just give this a spin and it'll bust wide open." She said confidently, resting a gauntlet on the handle.

  "Nice try, Vega." The paladin replied, his tone dry and humorless. "Don't forget we have a job to do."

  Vega grumbled to herself and spun the handle, watching the ancient tumblers creak and separate before the door slowly swung inwards. "Bingo." She breathed, stepping gingerly out onto the old catwalk. "Shit, it looks like ArcJet in here."

  "Remarkably similar." Danse agreed. "Be very cautious about what you shoot in here, we don't know what will explode. And remember to check your corners. I don't want to lose you to something we don't see." 

  Backhand swallowed hard, saluting while inclining her head to indicate that she received and returned the order. "Ad Victoriam, Paladin Danse."

  "Ad Victoriam, Knight Vega." 

  Silence hanging heavy in the air, Vega plodded down the rickety stairs of the catwalk. She briefly debated just hopping the railing and taking the plunge, but ultimately decided against it. The stiff gusts of wind from the door had stirred the centuries of dust into a thick haze, and warning lights still spiraled in amber circles, casting disorienting shadows over everything.

  "It would appear that this facility was converted into a launching silo as well." Danse commented, gesturing at the large gantry-like structure that took up the majority of space in the middle of the pyramid. 

  Down, down, down they went, past multiple security doors. Feral ghouls rose to greet them, some still clad in the tattered remains of army fatigues. 

  "I've had nightmares like this." Backhand admitted during a brief moment of reprieve while she painstakingly tapped away at the keys of a terminal. "Sergeant Cathan and the rest of my squadron turn into ferals and I have to put them down." Danse's heavy gauntlet landed on her pauldron, squeezed once, and then departed. "I know it's dumb to be worried about. They've been dead for…" Vega trailed off, finally getting the double blast doors open and turning off the weakly buzzing alarm in the same stroke. " That's it." She said in relief. 

  Danse took point during this secondary half of the expedition, the paladin staying unusually quiet. Backhand chalked it up to him focusing more on his targets, lest a stray laser hit one of the caged warheads. 

  Down into the bowels of Prescott they trudged, soldiering onwards through tunnels made tight by the bulk of their power armor. The headlamp on Danse's new helmet illuminated the cramped, half-collapsed areas as he scanned from three to nine and back again.

  "Left up here." Backhand broke the silence, directing him through a hole in the wall to circumvent a rubble-filled dead end and then overtaking him when he paused to check his rifle. "We should still be able to pick up the tunnel around this junk."

  "Affirmative." Danse replied shortly. "I would advise that we not attempt to clear any debris. We don't know what will collapse on us."

  Vega grimaced, "good point. That's why you're the paladin." Oddly, he made a scoffing sound, but she dismissed it as him being sarcastic again.

  When the tunnel finally opened up into an enormous room, Vega breathed a little easier. Ahead of them loomed a massive set of red double doors, tarnished with age but still holding strong. What appeared to be a control room was situated over the doors, and Backhand quickly spotted the stairs that would lead her upwards.

  The body sprawled across the top of the stairs gave her pause, however. It wasn't a feral ghoul, but a Child Of Atom. Backhand glanced up to the door to the control room, then back down at the body. 

  Up. Down. Up again.

  And she continued over the body, one massive gauntlet knocking comically gentle on the door.

  "Enter." Intoned a voice from inside the room. Behind her, she heard Danse's rifle hum as he primed it.

  " Easy , cowboy. Let me see if I can get this settled peacefully." Backhand whispered. She had no idea whether Danse had heard her or not, but she prayed he had as she set sabaton into the room. 

  The Children Of Atom had always been a ragged-looking bunch, their lives dedicated to the pursuit of " the Glow " and worship of what they called " the Great Divide ". This man was no exception, though the room was also occupied by a turret and assaultron. Two things no one wanted to deal with in close quarters.

  "Halt, stranger. You stand upon Atom's sacred ground." The religious fanatic announced grandly. "Speak your business or be divided where you stand."

  Backhand mused over her reply for a moment, finally stating, "we seek the Glow of Atom, my uh, brother ."

  " You? " The man scoffed, "you, who slaughtered Atom's most faithful as you stormed this compound?"

  "We sought to release them to Atom's embrace. Return them to the universe to be...divided anew. After all, matter cannot be created or destroyed, only repurposed," Vega replied smoothly, "as dictated by the Law of Conservation of Mass, writ by his most holy eminence Antoine Lavoisier." 

  "Ah, I see you are a scholar of the sacred texts as well!" The man remarked, a smile crossing his stern features. "Forgive my ignorance, sister. When I saw your armor, I feared that you came to destroy this holy ground." Backhand blinked behind her helmet. That had been strictly high school science bullshit, but she would take the victory. "I assume you wish to bask in Atom's Glow then, as one of his faithful?"

  "We seek to spread Atom's glory via the use of these munitions." Backhand explained. "Our organization requires these vehicles to distribute Atom's might. Please, permit us to utilize them."

  "You will put them to good use? That is all we can ask for!" The Child Of Atom's eyes filled with tears of what Vega could only assume was gratitude. "I had thought we would stand guard over this holy ground for all of time. Please, take this and prepare to enter His inner sanctum." He took her gauntlet and pressed a scrap of paper into it, gesturing at the worn-looking terminal on the table beside the sputtering turret. "Follow the brilliance of the Glow, and it shall lead you to the relics. May Atom's radiance warm your soul." He breathed, those teary blue eyes focused on the visor of her helm. 

  Vega inclined her head respectfully, praying that Danse would stand aside and let the man depart without a fight. Clearly she needn't have worried; the paladin obligingly shifted the bulk of his armor out of the way so the religious zealot could leave the room peacefully. 

  "' His most holy eminence' ?" Danse repeated, his tone wry. "You certainly have a gift, Knight Vega." 

  Backhand grinned under her helmet, reading the password off the scrap of paper and then carefully punching it into the terminal. "What can I say? A little diplomacy and a healthy sprinkling of mumbo-jumbo goes a long way." With a simple keystroke, the massive doors creaked open. The woman bowed as best as she could in her armor. "Shall we?" 

  Danse appeared to have returned to his silence, simply nodding and walking back out of the room.

  What's gotten into him? Backhand wondered.

Part Thirteen

#fallout 4 #fallout four #paladin danse #fallout fanfic #fallout fandom #paladin danse x sole survivor #paladin danse x f!sole #Eventual romance #slow burn #spoilers #brotherhood of steel #fo4 companions imagine #fo4 companions #fo4 paladin danse #paladin danse imagine #canon-typical violence

[scribbles97]

Left Behind - Chapter 41

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

Chapter 37 / Chapter 38 / Chapter 39 / Chapter 40

Read on Ao3

And now for the aftermath...

“It tried to kill you John!” Ridley snapped, her arm flinging out towards the projection of the AI that was still inhabiting Thunderbird Five. 

Lucy could only lean back in the office chair and sigh. The conversation hadn’t gone the way she had planned, though in reflection she knew she should have expected as much. John might have been the quietest of her sons, but it didn’t make him any less stubborn. 

He had his decision made about the intelligence- Eos he insisted -and none of them were going to change it. 

“She,” John rolled his eyes, “Didn’t understand. Now that she does--”

“I can help protect John from any future threats to Thunderbird Five. I have already found multiple ways to provide better facilities for emergency oxygen and pressurisation that are flawed in your current system.” 

Lucy didn’t like to think just how much access she had to things up there. 

It was literally his life in her hands. 

 “Yeah,” Scott muttered, “And next time he upsets you, you can just turn off the oxygen.”

 “I wish no harm to your brother.”

 It was a drastic change from what she had been saying a day earlier.

 “And what about the rest of us?” Ridley growled. 

 “Rids,” John frowned, “She doesn’t. She’s a child and she’s learning at an incredible rate.”

 Lucy remembered her own thought from the previous day, the image in her head of a young child with hands pressed over her ears, shouting out in protest. The apologies that had followed once John had arrived home on the island had only backed up the image, a young girl pleading for forgiveness. 

 “What I did to John was born of emotions that I previously did not understand.” Eos added, “Fear should not be acted upon in the way that I did, and for that I am truly sorry.”

 John shook his head, turning to face her, knowing it was his mother that held the final decision, “Give her a chance to gain our trust Mom. She is on our side.”

 “We have enough on right now.” Scott glared at his younger brother, arms folded where he was leaning against the wall between Lucy’s desk and John, “Gaat’s come out of hiding, we’re still trying to unscramble--” His eyes caught hers as he cut off, shaking his head with a sigh, “There’s too much going on John.”

 If Lucy hadn’t already been worried enough about Gaat being back in the picture as well as petrified at the thought of one of her boys being at the mercy of a rogue AI, Scott’s comment only served to add to her concern. 

 As far as she had known there wasn’t anything in need of unscrambling. 

 “What?” She prompted Scott, “What needs unscrambling?”

 He was too quick to shake his head again, eyes staying locked on John, avoiding her, “Nothing, don’t worry about it Mom.”

 Using her desk as a support, she pushed herself up, wincing as her weight shifted into her bad leg, “Scott.”

 He was reluctant, tried to focus on anything else other than her. His eyes jumped from John, to the hologram of Eos, to Ridley, and then to the floor. 

 “Cat’s out of the bag,” John murmured with a shrug, “You’ve gotta tell her now Scott.”

 “There are no cats in the office.” Eos responded, her lights flashing orange, “I do not understand.”

 Ridley snorted, shaking her head as she turned to the door, “I’m not listening to this.”

 The glance John spared her was one Lucy knew well, one she had worn enough times when teaching young boys about life.

 “Eos, research idioms.”

 Across the room, Scott sighed heavily, “Brains received a deteriorated message a few weeks ago. We have no idea of the source, and no idea how to improve the quality.”

 Except, she knew what he wasn’t saying, she knew why they wouldn’t have told her, she knew exactly what it could have meant. 

 “John?” Eos chirped again, “Why do humans use these sorts of sayings?”

 “Because sometimes it’s easier than saying what we actually mean.” Lucy found herself answering, only catching herself as she refocused on the room.

 “You should acknowledge someone when they have given you an answer, Eos.” John prompted after a moment's pause.

 “Oh, in that case, thank you… John I am unsure how to address your mother?”

 John grimaced as he raised his eyebrows at her, silently asking what she would prefer. 

 “Mrs Tracy will be fine thank you Eos.”

 Her focus was back on Scott, her hand waving off the AI in dismissal, “And you kept this from me?”

 Scott shrugged, breaking his eyes from her as he looked to John for back up, “You’d just woken up, we didn’t want you to-”

 “I could decode the message.” Eos interrupted.

 “Eos,” John sighed, “It’s rude to interrupt when someone is talking.”

 “Oh, I apologise Scott.”

 Lucy’s attention was captured. Eos wanted to help them. She thought she could make a breakthrough where the smartest person she knew had failed. 

 “Do you think you could Eos?” She questioned, “Descramble the message, I mean?”

 Lights flashed green, “I would certainly like to attempt so. May I ask if it relates to the programme I have discovered on Thunderbird Five searching for messages in deep space? As I have already rewritten this software to improve its functionality and improve the speed in which messages are received.”

 Lucy blinked, only one question coming to mind, she didn’t know anyone that had been able to improve on the code John had produced, “How?”

 John overrode her with a frown, “Eos, what did I tell you about all changes being run past me first?”

 “Exactly that.” Eos replied, her lights green.

 “Rhetorical question, Eos.” Lucy offered, trying to hide her smirk.

 “Oh, thank you Mrs Tracy.”

 “Why did you not check this with me first?” John clarified.

 Lights flashed blue, her tone the same sort of apologetic as it had been before, “This was before we had that conversation.”

 The AI had obviously made quick work of going through the satellite’s software, reminding Lucy of just how dangerous she could be.

 “Scott?” John prompted, “Will you send it to her?”

 “Yes,” Lucy answered for the eldest, knowing that they had to seize the chance, “He will.”

 She could see the tension in Scott’s shoulders as he pulled his phone from his pocket, his mouth set in a firm line. There would perhaps be an argument later about it all, further discussions about the place of the AI in the family. 

 If she was willing to help them, she could hardly see a reason to reject her. 

 “This message is incredibly degraded,” Eos told them, “It may be past repair.”

 John straightened, “Just try your best Eos.”

 Scott looked to his mother, arms splayed wide, “So we’re just going to trust her now?”

 “Trust has to be built and earned,” She shook her head, eyes darting to the hologram, “I’m willing to give her a chance though.”

 She could see he wasn’t impressed, eyes dark and stormy as he glared up to the projection. In time she didn’t doubt he would come around, if Eos could prove herself, show that she could learn and wasn’t the same AI she had been the previous day, then there was no reason to destroy her. 

 “Thank you,” John murmured, eyes wide as he watched her, “I promise Mom, she’s good really, she just needs to learn.”

 Scott huffed, shaking her head in response. 

 “Eos, what do you say?” The younger brother prompted. 

 “I am willing to learn.” The AI responded, “I have already learned much in the last twenty four hours, more than any simple human possibly could.”

 Lucy couldn’t deny that she could tell the intelligence was born of John’s code. Too many of her words sounded too much like a young boy that had once gotten himself sent home from school for saying something unintentionally offensive. 

 “Eos, say thank you.” John rolled his eyes, “When people say they’re going to give you a chance, you thank them.”

 “Thank you, Mrs Tracy.” She responded, lights flashing a bright green, “One day I will better understand your human customs.”

 “I will warn you,” Lucy started, “Any wrong move and you’re out Eos. Don’t make me regret giving you this chance.”

 “I will not, Mrs Tracy. However, the message Scott received is too degraded for even me to repair. John? May I use Thunderbird Five to continue to scan for any further messages being sent to us?”

 Us, Lucy scoffed in her head, catching the look in Scott’s eye at the word. 

 “Yes, Eos.” John nodded, “If you need anything though will you please wait. I need to talk to Ridley without being disturbed.”

 Blue lights flashed, “Ridley does not trust me.”

 The sorrow in her voice was too familiar to Lucy, too close to a young red head that had come home from school not understanding why none of his peers liked him. It was hardly a surprise that the same boy turned man, had such a soft spot for the code baby he had seemingly created. 

 “She’ll come around,” John assured, the same way Lucy knew she had once, “Perhaps just steer clear of her for a while.”

 Maternal instincts coming back to the fore, Lucy looked to the hologram, “If you need anything whilst John is busy, you may come to me Eos.”

 A bright yellow lit up the hologram, “Oh! Thank you Mrs Tracy.”

 A knock on the door and Hugh stepped in, nodding his head to Lucy with a tight smile, “Sally’s starting to worry that you need a break Luce.”

 She had to roll her eyes at him as John took the opportunity to slip out of the door. It had only been a couple of hours since she had gotten up, maybe her leg was starting to ache a little but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t deal with. 

 Glancing across to Scott, she leant back in the chair, “Will you look into going over to the mainland kid? I really should get started on some physio, shouldn’t I?”

 It was enough to distract him from the worry that had no doubt been niggling in regard to John and Eos. She could see it on his face, the way his eyebrows raised slightly from the frown he had been sporting. His eyes brightened and his shoulders straightened.

 “Yeah, I suppose if nothing comes up we could go next week? Gives us a chance to keep an eye on…” He trailed off as his eyes drifted back to Eos’ hologram, he may have disliked the AI but Lucy had brought him up to be polite at least. 

 “I’ll watch it for you.” Hugh cut in, “And if we get stuck, I believe we have a new budding astronaut, do we not?”

 It was Lucy’s turn to glare, Alan was her other big issue of the day, the youngest having been given a taste of what he wanted and unsurprisingly more eager than ever to be involved with the rescues. 

 She kept telling herself that it had been the only option in the moment. 

 Part of her felt like an idiot. 

 The door clicked closed and Eos disappeared as Hugh perched on the corner of her desk, his arms folded as he raised an eyebrow at her, “You okay?”

 She wasn’t sure. 

 So much was happening at once. 

 John. Eos. Scott. Jeff. Alan. 

 Lee. 

 Where the heck was Lee?

 Except none of it was meant to be her problem, everyone else was insisting on taking it all out of her hands. 

 She didn’t want it all to be out of her hands. She trusted her family, but where was her role in it? Since she had woken up there had been one thing after another that should have been hers to deal with.

 Yet when she had, she felt like she had screwed up royally. 

 Why the hell had she let Alan on Thunderbird Three?

 Looking back to Hugh, she shrugged, her mouth working, trying to find words. No sound came though, no words to be heard in the shade of the office as she swallowed against the new and sudden lump in her throat. 

 “Oh Luce,” Hugh sighed as his arms wrapped around her, “It’s okay. I promise, it’s all gonna be okay.”

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds fanfic #scribbles writes #Left Behind #left behind part 1 #left behind part 2 #left behind part 3 #left behind part 4 #Lucille Tracy #John Tracy #Scott Tracy #Ridley O'Bannon #Hugh Creighton-Ward

[darkdisrepair]

Lions and Tigers

here's the au behind this: the five queens are fostering kitty, who's six years old.

plot: Parr is stressed for multiple reasons.

~

After nearly a month of living with the five queens, today was the first day that Katherine was left alone with Parr. 

This thought scared Parr to death. She had very little experience with children. There was one point in time where she’d thought she was pregnant, but that scare never amounted to much of anything. If anything, it helped her realize that she did not want to spend the rest of her life with Thomas Seymour, and encouraged her to move to London and become a writer.

Really, having Katherine in the house was the most hands-on she’d ever gotten with a child before. And most of the time she didn’t even interact with the six-year-old- that was mostly Jane, and Cleves.  

So she’d been dreading today for at least a week. 

On top of that, Parr had a chapter due to her editor today, which she hadn’t finished.

“So, Kitty, what do you want to do?” she asked Katherine, once the four other queens had left the house for their respective chores and jobs. “We can go anywhere, or do anything you want.”

Secretly she prayed that Katherine would pick something requiring copious amounts of energy, just so that she’d tire out before the morning was over. Then, just maybe, Parr could sneak in some writing before the chapter needed to be submitted. 

Kitty just shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what you want to do? Don’t you want to go to the park? You love going there with Anne.”

The girl just shrugged again. 

“Give me something, here, Kit, I can’t just read your mind and know what you want,” Parr sighed, already getting sick of navigating a six year old’s mind. “We could olor, or go for a bike ride, or go to the zoo?”

Katherine’s eyes brightened a little at the mention of the zoo, which didn’t go unnoticed by the ever-observant Parr.

“The zoo?”

The little girl nodded.

“Alrighty, then. Why don’t you get your coat, and then we’ll head over?”

In just a few minutes, both girls were dressed- Parr in a long, dark grey coat, and Katherine in a pale pink peacoat, and were walking down the street toward the zoo. 

Parr’s mind was going about a mile a minute. Was she supposed to hold hands with Katherine? Did Jane ever hold her hand when the two of them went on walks? What about the subway? Was it a bad idea to take Kitty onto the subway? What if Kitty had a panic attack?

The walk to the zoo was longer than Parr thought, and more crowded than she remembered. She could feel Kitty beginning to press into her legs, walking so close that she was scared she might trip over the little girl.

So, eventually she gave up and bent down. “Hop on my back, little one,” she said. Katherine blinked her owlish eyes at Parr, not understanding. “Hasn’t anyone ever given you piggy back ride before?”

After a little bit of convincing, the two were on their way again, with Katherine clinging tightly to Parr’s back, peering over the queen’s shoulder as they navigated through the London streets. 

Eventually, they reached the zoo, and Katherine slid down from Parr’s back, clutching tightly to the hem of the woman’s coat as Parr purchased their tickets.

She was too tiny to reach the counter in order to get her hand stamped, so Parr held open her arms, and after a brief second, Katherine let the writer scoop her up without much complaint.

Once they were away from the crowds, Katherine seemed more comfortable, looking around with alert eyes at the enclosures nearby. 

“What do you want to see first? They have penguins, but they might be a little chilly, so maybe that isn’t the best choice. What do you think, Kitty?” Parr asked, holding the map low, so that the little girl could see. “What about the tigers?”

Kitty nodded. 

“Tigers? Alright, let’s go. They’re just over here.”

Parr set off down the path, checking every few seconds to make sure that Katherine was following. She’d tried to hold hands with the kid, but judging by the way that Kitty had flinched away, that probably wasn’t the best idea. Soon enough, Katherine was walking calmly by Parr’s side, close enough that she could hide behind her whenever a large family passed by but with enough distance between them that their hands never touched.

Katherine seemed fascinated by the tigers, content to stand beside the fence and watch as the animals milled about the pen for about thirty minutes. Parr grew bored before Katherine did, but she was just relieved that they’d found something to do that made the little girl happy. 

After a bit, Katherine turned away from the pen, staring up at Parr. “What do you want to see?” she asked, playing with the zipper on her coat.

“What do I want to see?” Parr repeated. “I don’t know, today is for you, Kat.”

Katherine reached for the map, but paused, as if asking for permission. Parr handed over the map without a word.

A few minutes later, Katherine began walking in another direction, looking back to make sure that Parr was following. 

~

They spent five hours at the zoo. Not that Parr was counting- because, quite honestly, she’d forgotten about the due date that loomed ahead of her, and the plots she’d spent the past week trying to unscramble in her mind. 

Most of the time, they spent looking at the tigers. After taking Parr to the lion enclosure, and the rainforest display, Katherine returned back to what was clearly her favorite spot, content to eat her giant cone of pink cotton candy.

Then, with a jolt, Parr realized that it was nearly two o’clock in the afternoon. And her deadline was at five.

“Kitty, we really must be going,” she called softly to the girl, who was entranced by the large Sumatran tiger that was prowling past. 

Surprisingly, the girl raised no protests, and followed Parr out of the zoo without a word. Katherine’s footsteps were slower this time around- Parr could tell that the six year old was getting sleepy. 

It was almost too easy to scoop the tiny pink-haired girl  into her arms this time- Kitty practically melted into Parr’s arms, contentedly snuggling into the writer’s soft grey coat. Even though carrying Katherine made it more difficult to navigate the rest of the way home, Parr couldn’t even be frustrated. 

Once they arrived home, Parr tucked Katherine into bed, then headed downstairs, curling up on her favorite spot on the couch with her laptop. She immediately got to work, revising some of the old material she’d written before and hammering out some new ideas as they came to her. 

A strange noise wrenched her out of her writing stupor an hour later. Parr looked up, not expecting anyone home quite yet, but then realized that it was just Katherine standing in the doorway, looking quite adorable, with bleary eyes and a tangled ponytail.

“What’s wrong, Kitty?” Parr asked gently.

Katherine didn’t say anything- she just crept forward until suddenly, she was there, burying her face into Parr’s neck, shaking uncontrollably. 

This was what Parr had been afraid of. She didn’t know how to help when Kitty’s anxiety set in- really only Cleves and Jane had been successful in that endeavor. Anne had tried, but to no avail, and Aragon had just held the girl until the tremors subsided, which had been hours. 

So she just pressed a kiss in the little girl’s hair and continued to write, hoping that eventually Katherine would calm down and go back to sleep. 

And she did, eventually, her trembling gradually subsiding, turning boneless in Parr’s lap. 

Jane came home two hours later to find both girls asleep, a web page declaring SUBMITTED still open on Parr’s still-open laptop. She gently slid the computer out of Parr’s limp grasp, powering it off before covering the two with the softest throw she could find.

#six the musical fanfic #katherine howard #catherine parr #six the musical fanfiction #tiny tiny kat au #six the musical