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hellsbellschime · 9 months

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So I know mentioned that I have weirdly bad luck a few days ago, and although this happened on Sunday and I just didn't have the energy to chronicle it until now, it is such a hilariously on-point example that I'm a Murphy's law magnet that I can't not share.

So, I went to Las Vegas with my cousin last week and generally had a good time, aside from the fact that I'm pretty sure I broke a bone in my foot and/or toe the day he arrived in California to hang before we left, which obviously made traveling in general or doing a lot of fun shit way more difficult (and I'm finally going to go see a doctor about it tomorrow or Thursday so fingers crossed they don't tell me anything terrible).

Sunday was the day I left, and because I have a Priority Pass I left the hotel at like 4:30am so I could go grab a free breakfast at the airport lounge before I go. I get there, do this automated ordering thing, get a confirmation number and everything, and it says that it should be ready in 15 minutes or less. Because I'm dumb and don't recall that everything that can go wrong for me will go wrong, I don't note when I made the order, and eventually realize it has been 30 minutes at least and it's basically time for me to go. I track down an employee and ask WTF, and they're like oh yeah we got no order and we can't give you anything to go, sorry. Which already had me annoyed, but whatever, it's a flight from Las Vegas to Los Angeles, it's 7am and it'd be bizarre if I wasn't home by 10am.

So I get on the plane, fly home, everything seems to be fine. I arrive, text my mom that I've landed, go down and collect my luggage, and wait. And wait. And wait and wait. Eventually calling her like 10 times during that hour to see what the eff is going on.

After waiting in the terminal for about an hour, I decide to go start looking for her, as I'm guessing she must have forgotten her phone, and to be fair, I did tell her that it would be one of two terminals that I would land in. So I walk to the other terminal, no dice. I know she'll be driving my new EV, so I think hey, maybe I should check out the EV parking areas to see if she's even here. I do that, no dice. I do a few laps in the airport again, still no luck. All of this on an injured effing foot mind you.

By the time I have gone through all this rigmarole, it has legitimately killed another hour of waiting (LAX is fucking huge if you didn't know). At this point I am legitimately starting to get concerned, and I think hey, my car is brand new and all tech-equipped, maybe I can do something with that and at least see if the car is parked at my house, at the airport, or en route somewhere else.

So although I hadn't signed up for the service yet because my car is legit brand new, I text OnStar to see if there is any assistance they can give me. They eventually tell me to get on a call and I do, and because I haven't actually signed up for anything they ask me a series of questions to figure out how they can track down my shit. They ultimately ask me for my VIN which I surprisingly do have because I at least signed up for the Chevy app on my phone, and they're like oh this VIN (on my brand new car that has been owned by no one else mind you) has a registered OnStar account to some guy name Frank who I've never heard of in my life. I'm like okay, maybe the zero in my VIN number is actually an O, so they try that and are like nope there's nothing here it's definitely the Frank account or whatnot, but we can't help you either way.

But thankfully, they at least offer to transfer me to someone who works at Chevy to see if they can do something about it as well. They ping me over to them and we essentially go through the exact same process again, down to them telling me that some dude named Frank has an account under my VIN and that ultimately there is nothing that they can do. They're basically like, eh, call the cops or you're SOL.

At this point another hour plus has gone by and my concern and frustration is through the roof, and I'm basically like well I could call the cops, but if I know my mom, she's just blowing me off or screwed something up rather than it being an emergency. So I decide that I should find a way home by myself, and I better figure it out fast because my phone battery is now at like 20%. Lyft, Uber, and cabs were too much, but there is an express bus from LAX to Union Station that runs often and it's sorta in the direction of my house, so I download that app, buy a one way ticket, and wait for the bus to show up.

In case it wasn't obvious, I have also been incessantly calling my mom this entire time, but once I have bought my ticket and am waiting, despite the fact that I have called 30+ times to no avail and I landed at 8 and it is now 10 to noon, she FINALLY picks up the phone, very clearly just waking up from sleep. Unsurprisingly I am a tsunami of rage and basically say okay cool, glad you're okay, already figured out how to get home, gotta go, don't want to deal with your shit at the moment.

So I take the bus to Union Station and then take the metro rail toward my house (which sidenote, 10/10 recommend LA metro rail, even if the train isn't the cleanest holy shit the views were actually spectacular, it was super fast, and I legit regretted never having taken the train in the city before then). The station in my town is like 2 miles from my house, I ask my mom to pick me up, she says yes, and once again I'm sitting outside at 1pm in 100+ degree heat, waiting with very little shade. After waiting for like 20 minutes I'm like hey, do I want to sit here waiting forever again or should I start walking? So I start walking home with luggage in tow, and tell her that I'm starting to walk home so if she finds me she finds me and if not I'll be there when I get there.

I, no joke, make it 1.6 out of the 2 miles before she actually arrives. I tell her to GTFO of the driver's seat so I can drive home and immediately start charging my now nearly-dead phone, I hop in, and immediately see that the battery gauge on the car is flashing on "low" and the battery is low enough that it is minimizing the actual propulsion of the car. Thankfully we are right next to the DC fast charging stations near my house, so I immediately turn into the parking lot. Not so thankfully but entirely as usual, there are three cars in line waiting before me. I tell my mom to once again GTFO and go into the nearby mall so I can wait, and because the battery is so low, I lower all of the windows and turn the car off, once again waiting in 100+ degree heat.

It takes 20-25 minutes for me to get to the front of the line, and because Electrify America charging stations are garbage, I get the actual charger to connect to my car but the card reader is not working. I call EA assistance to pay on my almost dead phone, and as I am giving her my card info, the call starts breaking up hardcore. It disconnects, but thankfully the agent calls me back and finishes the transaction so the car can start charging the battery that now literally has 3% power and I can also start charging my phone.

At this point I am so hot and sweaty that my hair is literally wet, and I'm like A. I'm dying and B. I actually probably need to rehydrate for my own safety, so I go into the mall and get a large Honeydew smoothie and large watermelon slush to bring myself back to life. I go back to the car because at this point I am beyond exhausted, my foot is killing, and I am dying to go home because I have been up since 4:30am and expected to be home 7 hours earlier, so once the car is just half charged I finally bail.

I go home, pass tf out, and wake up a few hours later with sunburns on both of my forearms.

So, if you were ever wondering what I meant when I said that I have genuinely weirdly, bizarrely bad luck, now you know.

#real life woes

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sy5starplaty · 1 year

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Live-blog of Ted Lasso 3.09...

FOOTBALL! That should keep the complainers happy, right?

Roy is liking other people having fun... what?

Beard faints at Roy saying "great job".

Pretty sure Isaac's issue is Colin not telling him... otherwise he'd be making others stay away from Colin, right? IDK.

Jack is ghosting Keeley... So she's more worried about her reputation OR she's dead. Either way, this is the end & Jack is very much Willhouby.

TED IN A REBECCA SCENE 4MINS IN!

Oh, that was lovely.

Also good song.

ROY IN A KEELEY SCENE 6MINS IN! Ok, not quite the same, but yes... positivity?

Jade at Nate's workplace...

Wait, Derek? Does that mean he's the same guy who owns the American joint in Amsterdam? Or are there two Dereks?

"It's worthwhile to meet you" - that feels like a bit of an insult & I love her for it.

Her name is short for JADED... I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

And Roy's not doing the press conference. Why am I not surprised?

Beard losing 'em with the music jibes... not a great stand-in.

Neither is Rebecca. That guy from Cream is pretty good, though.

"I am sick of Roy being Roy" - me too at this stage.

Rebecca doing a Roy with the loud yell to grab attention & ordering him around.

Is the total football thing happening around the whole club? That was very versatile.

Colin off to talk to Trent...

Rebecca's "pep talk" needs some work, but it's long overdue.

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY, MAN.

She may need to take her own advice.

Rupert doesn't approve of Jade, so he'll do something which will eventually bring Nate back to Richmond. Hopefully Jade isn't caught in the crossfires.

"Thank you for correcting me Chris, and next time feel free to wait until we're off-air." I LOVE ARLO (& Chris).

Of course beer tastes better out of a champagne glass, Paul.

"So now that Jack is officially my ex please feel free to say anything you didn't like about her"... Oh, Keeley, I don't think you're ready to hear all of my grievances.

The hand thing suggests it's more a personal issue with McAdoo...

Oh, dear, he's brought it out onto the field. This is not going to be good.

I hope that guy who keeps shouting is getting paid a lot for all the vocal work.

Uh oh! No, McAdoo! DON'T ATTACK THE HORRIBLE "FAN"!

Red card for McAdoo...

And... the whole team is... silent.

The other F-word. Ah.

What if one of us is gay? ... Oh, dear. Ready to out somebody are we? But, uh, yeah... what if, man? You gotta tread carefully with your slurs. Better yet! Don't do any at all!

Lol at the silent convo with Sam & Jamie. Go, Sam! Be the captain.

Jamie's flattered that the others might think him gay.

Wait... Colin's about to...?

"What happened isn't what you're really angry about, is it? You gotta go deal with that, or you're gonna fuck up whatever it is you really do care about." Oh, Roy. You learning! And also... this is good fodder for my next GMW fic chapter.

Aw, Will... I'll have some bubble gum.

Aw... the himbos! I love them.

Yup. Rupert's still effing around & he expects Nate to do the same. Good lad, Nate. Can you help Bex out, now? She and Diana need to get the hell away from that man.

"The Press are ready for you, Ted." Nope, Roy's gonna do it. Good boy.

ROY'S BEING TED RIGHT NOW WITH THE STORY INSTEAD OF GIVING A STRAIGHT ANSWER. So weird. I love it.

And... he's doing wonderfully. It was a good pep talk, Rebecca.

Jade's reading Murakami. And she gives good hugs too apparently.

KNEW IT. Isaac was just annoyed Colin didn't tell him.

And... it ends on them playing video games going through the process of understanding.

GOOD EP. Might even say great ep upon rewatch.

I'm really gonna need some movement on the Roy/Keeley front next ep (still need to see that moment from the trailer). The bit of growth Roy did here should be moving us to that point.

Also... tedbecca, but less so. Starting to think Nate might be involved there.

3 episodes left.

#Ted Lasso spoilers #Ted Lasso 3.09 #retag 2023 #my silly thoughts on a very good episode

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bloodmaarked · 25 days

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rootless // krystle zara appiah

first published: 2023 read: 26 march 2024 – 30 march 2024 pages: 358 format: paperback

genres: fiction, adult, family (marriage, parenthood esp. motherhood), mental health (post-partum depression) favourite character(s): i can't lie, almost all the characters were fairly unlikeable. paa was okay least favourite character(s): see above

rating: 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 thoughts: i happened to come across rootless in a post on instagram discussing books on motherhood; it then coincidentally ended up being my book club's pick for next month, so i decided to jump in and give it a go. it wasn't necessarily what i was expecting, but it wasn't an unpleasant read. it had me hovering around the 3.5* mark until we moved into the second half, where i slowly mentally bumped my rating up to a 4*. then the ending came, and i was so dumbfounded by the choice that was made that i dropped down to a 3*. i feel like it messed with my enjoyment of the book, and was a stark reminder of how important a book's ending is to the entire story.

it was a little too slow-paced for my liking, and while i was enjoying the story i was waiting for it to get to the point throughout almost all of part one (which was 50-60% of the book). it did pick up eventually, and i got more invested in the increasing tensions in the plot and between characters. the majority of the book is comprised of backstory to the "present moment" where we begin in chapter one, which itself precedes what is to come in about the last 10-20% of the book. i understand why the story was told in this way, but it just made the book feel slow-going and a long wait (over the narrative span of about 20 years) to get to the explosive place in which we started chapter one.

a lot of the characters, especially the two main characters, were difficult to like and to root for. efe and sam were both awful communicators, and while i could be sympathetic to them in a handful of ways, most of the time i felt they came across as selfish and immature. i think there are a lot of discussions to be had about parenthood and motherhood, the pressure some women face to become mothers, the way society tends to judge women who have chosen not to have children, and our sympathy towards women who struggle when they do have children, including our understanding of postpartum depression. but i just don't feel it was best discussed in this story or with these characters.

now, despite all this, i was finding myself interested as the plot progressed and intrigued as to how certain characters would reconcile and resolve their issues. but the way the author decided to end this book in the last three or four chapters, without any spoilers, was awful, ridiculous, and disappointing. i cannot for the life of me understand why that route was chosen, and by the time i closed the last page i was just pissed off. it ruined some of what i had been able to enjoy about the story's progression and each character's growth up until that point.

i do think this book has a lot of potential for book club discussions, so i am looking forward to seeing what other people have to say about it, but in general rootless was something of a disappointment.

#rootless #krystle zara appiah #2024 reads #3 stars #fiction #contemporary #book review #booklr #bookblr #bookworm

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indefinitelyjaded · 7 months

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A Slight Detour (Super Sim Update)

I was worried about potentially getting bored with grinding rabbithole careers, and that's exactly what I found happening... not to mention, I just got Growing Together and am now also concerned about burnout.

So, I've taken Stella on a little detour.

That's right, we're going to university... x10, or so. If I get distinguished degrees to boost all the careers I have yet to do, I can start the careers near the top (Level 8/10, I think it is?), eliminating most of the "grinding" part and, hopefully, also avoiding burnout.

And to avoid giving myself burnout from repeating the university experience so many times, I'm using the Shorter University Degrees mod by PeridotSims to bring each degree down to just four classes - which still makes university a challenge, because there's absolutely no room for error to still get a good GPA. (I've discovered that this does take some finagling with the various versions of the mod to get the game to allow me to re-enroll. But it does work.)

Currently, Stella has earned Distinguished Degrees in Biology and Economics from Foxbury University, and she's currently enrolled in the Distinguished Degree for Fine Art at Britechester University. I'm sort of working on the Academic Aspiration while I'm at it, but not focusing on it too much, since I will eventually have to go back to uni for probably the regular length (or at least longer than just 4 classes) to do the Soccer Team and E-Sports Competitor "careers." And I'll probably want to join the secret society, too. You know, the whole college experience or whatever.

Another thing I've discovered about university is that Sims can no longer "cook" anything at college - not even salads when an appropriate refrigerator and counterspace are available. So that sucks.

(Speaking of cooking, WTF even is this bug?)

(These are "de-stressing potions" that NPCs are obsessed with making. They were coming onto my lot and using my grill, until I placed a huge planter in the way - now I guess they're going to the public grills accessible from my lot. I ended up using the "destroy object" cheat on these, because I already have like 15 of them in my fridge that were made on my lot.)

ANYWAY...

I didn't want any randos moving into Stella's house while she's away at uni, so her BFF, Aoi, moved in. And got engaged to one of Stella's exes, Nate, who I was considering having Stella get back together with instead of continuing with the married fiancé debacle, grrr...

But it's fine, everything is FINE. (It would be much easier to accept if they weren't so effing cute, you know?)

I mentioned I recently got Growing Together - I was looking forward to having a Kyle Kyleson stayover; however, I got my long-lost-cousin, India, instead.

After one day of this, Stella left for Britechester, so I don't know how that works for stayovers, but that's Aoi's problem now, isn't it? Maybe it's payback for getting engaged to Stella's ex... sigh

Speaking of Britechester, here's another fun bug - "swimming" in the river:

#sims 4 #sims4 #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 super sim #super sim challenge #sims 4 university #sims 4 bugs #ts4 simblr #simblr #sims 4 simblr #sims 4 screenshots

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whenyouaredonespn · 1 year

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A bit of Self Indulgence from the Artist:

So I wasn’t happy with the end of Supernatural. For what little my opinion on things like that matters; I hold no illusions. Though I did watch from pilot to finale for 15 years as it aired, It's my favorite show- full stop. I’m also one of the fans that other fans tend to hate. Though It had some truly amazing and great moments in later seasons, I feel it peaked in Season 5 and never truly rose to that height again. (holds up a shield to block incoming fruit.) Though there were several times it got very close. (The Demon trials, and Amara for example. Dean’s monologue in the church is maybe my favorite moment in all of TV. Possibly all of Fiction. There I go contradicting myself.

At around the same time the show was ending, I was trying to figure out something to work on, something to draw- I needed a project. But I was also so far out of the game that I had no contacts to hit up for a story or script. I was also about three years into a five year artist block which was the result of intense burnout. So I decided to make a fan comic based on Supernatural. It's something that I always wanted to see. Like the post-TV Buffy comics I felt and still feel that SPN would make a great comic. It could get bigger and more over the top. Without constraints of things like budget, actor schedules, make up or special effects or the need to fill up over 20 hours of run time with around ten hours of content. This is stated with full knowledge that there are indeed SPN comics- I have read a lot of them. Some are good, some are… not- (I won’t presume this to be one or the other) BTW to this day Dustin Nguyen’s covers are my favorite pieces of Supernatural art ever made.

This fan comic is NOT a “how it should have ended” It's just a scene that always sort of played out in my head. I always wanted them to go out like Thelma and Louise, or Butch and Sundance; no way out but through, launching the car into oblivion, sacrificing themselves while saving the world. I’m a sucker for that trope. (Buffy Season 5- also where it peaked) I also always wanted to see a BIG Monster- we got hints at times. SPN skirted up next to the Elder Gods once or twice- there were tentacles and big looming shadows in the distance.

If you imagine a story-line where the threat is a bunch of monsters (Capital M- mutated, lizard tail raptor clawed demon creatures instead of just black eyed people- though they are there as well) wreaking havoc on the world and eventually culminating in a Cthulu like hellbeast rising from the depths. What follows is the usual arc of them trying to figure out how to take it out. The usual wins and losses, starts and stops until they figure out what weapon will do the job, then it's acquiring the weapon. Finally stabby stabby. If that is the season- this is the last fifteen minutes of the finale episode.

In this alternate timeline or multiversal offramp, Chuck and Amaara effed off to some celestial beach somewhere, drinking mai tais and promptly not Giving a crap about Earth (Or doing the absolute very least required) Jack came and did his thing, and now Team Freewill is Sam Dean Cas and Jack. That's really all you need to know.

Finally, if you'll allow me to get personal… It took this thing about two years to make. No- not because it took me that long to draw 20 pages, but because I shelved it. The truth is multifaceted and long-winded. Suffice to say that burn-out is real, artist block is real. This is the first thing that I have completed in over five years. That in itself is the reason I made it, I needed the win, and this thing was about 60 percent done two months ago. Before I started yet ANOTHER new project, I was determined to FINISH SOMETHING; anything. The road of my artistic Journey is flanked by too many corpses of unfinished and shelved projects. Things that were taken too far to be just left unfinished. Like putting a book down with a single chapter left and never picking it up again. It's a source of shame and this is the win I need.

I Hope you like it. Or at least think it's nice to look at.

Hobbs

PS. A final note on the art. I wasn’t going for likenesses, I was trying to portray them as comic characters first- iconography. If Dean looks like Jensen at times and so on, that's great, but I wasn’t aiming for that per se. Castiel’s true form is based on multiple fanart conceptions. Basically he’s just a “draw this in your style”.

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alldrinkingaside · 2 years

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ADDICTION: Fear of Missing Out (Down the Rabbit Hole, Buh-Bye!)

Living a Clean and Sober Life is the Best!

Sometimes I get so hung up on what I did wrong when I was deep in the drink, I forget what I missed out on. SINS COMMITTED and SINS OMITTED. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Substance use and abuse is an alternate universe. No wonder when someone queries, "WHAT DO I HAVE TO CHANGE?" the answer is "EVERYTHING."

We pay a high price of ADMISSION to enter that alternate world. The cost is no mere Dollars & Cents. There is an emotional toll. Everything you do and everything you don't do becomes entrenched in Acquisition and Use. "So, what's the USE," I used to say and think and feel and live. "I may as well Drink and Drug." Been there, done that. Done.

The purpose of this post is not to CONDEMN you. "You are not a bad person. You are a sick person." That can be said (and I've heard it said) with a tone of HOLIER THAN THOU. When said with compassion and understanding by a fellow alcoholic or addict (I will save discussion of those two terms for another post) in the Rooms of Recovery, you may be saved from drowning in the Past. In the Rooms of Recovery, I have found people who have been through the same Meat Grinder that I was wedged through. What a Relief to Discover: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Welcome to Being on the Road to Recovery!

Addiction broke my world. I lost connection with what little family and friends I had as it consumed me. Drugs and alcohol controlled my every move, eventually to the exclusion of all else. Exclusion played a subtle and not so subtle role in my behavior: FEAR OF MISSING OUT! Addiction DOUBLE-CROSSED me. F.O.M.O. (Fear of Missing Out) played a role in my drug and alcohol use until it pulled the rug out from under me, and I MISSED OUT ON EVERYTHING! I was SUNK when I was DRUNK as a SKUNK.

I wanted to be invited to every party, to go to every party. Life was a Party (Woo-Hoo!) until it wasn't. Drug use led to drug dependency led to drug abuse as down the rabbit hole I went. The need to stay connected with the in-crowd, with my kind of people, changed as time passed and people passed, and Addiction took a Chokehold on my life until there was nothing left to soothe me except more.

F.O.M.O. in SLO-MO.

Addiction became more time-consuming than a job (when I had one). Been there, done that? Well, if you haven't lost your job yet, stick around. You will. It's all downhill or soon will be. Addiction is the Trend without End.

So much time spent doing things I can't even remember. It's funny because it isn't.

Today, Recovery is worth my time, my every moment. It is irreplaceable, invaluable. Being WASTED is a WASTE of TIME. Duh-uh!?!!

Recovery gives me time to do, time to be. to Do, to Be.

Do-Be-Do-Be-Do!

Time for me to be silly. Time for me to be serious. Time for me to enjoy life. Time for me to live. Time for the pain of Addiction to be replaced by the Joys of Living in Recovery.

Love and Respect yourself and your new Recovery Peeps!

No more F.O.M.O. in SLO-MO! Ain't Nobody Got Time fer Dat!

Time to finish this post. L-O-Effing-L!

Enjoy your Recovery. We know it ain't BACK THERE, Down THAT Rabbit Hole!

Buh-Bye, fer Real this Time!

Oh, what the hell. Hit REFRESH!

*****

You've got to believe me when I tell you: This Post is in Neither of my Books.

#Enjoy ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal. Find it on Amazon. Book it here: http://amzn.to/1bX6JyO

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entoman-created-by-the-tallgreys · 2 years

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I think deep on time and death

Not time of death but time and death

I think deep about it because time takes everything away from us

Time takes away experiences time takes away emotion time takes away people time slowly corrodes and rust things

Time slowly kills you time is the great change of the universe and time only steals everything from people it robs the knowledge of the future of the past

The most evil force in the universe is not the darkness it's time

Time is true evil time is evil personified time is pure evil

! ! ! TIME ! DON'T GIVE A FUK ABOUT YO FEELING'S ! ! !

If you think about it everything goes away in time

Loved ones, experience, proof of things you're talking about.

Even your memory goes in time and eventually so will you 💀

Time is the most horrible thing there is I mean in time you're giving wisdom knowledge but how long until you forget that ?

Constantly pushes things moves things changes things corrode things build things up just to break them down and kill them

Time turns the seed into a tree then the tree into a pile of Ash

Time turns the baby into a man and then a man into a pile of bones

😢

. . .

Time makes it rain and then a disaster happens time is what happens right before someone gets struck by lightning

Time is what happens work before someone gets raped or shot a couple seconds ago it didn't happen and a couple seconds later it did

🙁

. . .

Time turns into a puppy into a dog, a dog into someone's best friend and then takes it away from you

. . .

Time destroys civilizations destroyed planets and even deities die within time

. . .

Time is truly the most evil force in existence it's not the darkness, it's Darkness exist within time

😭

. . .

And bits of time you will have pleasure and then all you will go extinct at one point

And you wonder why I don't take life so serious you wonder why I take not even spirituality is here if you wonder why I don't even take God serious even though I met him on multiple times

. . . . .

I'm broken, I'm more beyond hurt I'm dead inside I'm a red dead on the inside I suffered so much in my existence I don't know anything is anymore ?!

I don't know how to do anything anymore because I've gone so far beyond I'm trying to send it nihilism

nihilism is the first stepping stone to understanding all that is shallow

Even all the companies in the world will be destroyed at one point think about 10 to 20 years ago all the companies that were they just seem like permanent permanent Staples in society and other dead where's my space that thing with planting with effing huge 10 years ago

Or was it 15 years ago ?

I know it one time Hot topic was one of the most popular stores in America now it's almost dead

. . .

Time changes Everything time shifted everything time Brith's you grows you kills you and moves on

Time don't Give a Fuck

. . .

Time is colder than a sociopath and you don't get one feeling than a sociopath or a robot and time is colder than ice

😐

. . .

There are places in time that are magical and wonderful but we'll never know them because they're all dead

. . .

At one time the universe had a bunch more energy but those experiences are all spent and now it's all dead

. . .

Most of the human race is dead

. . .

The vast majority Humanity all those experiences warm moments magical moments holy moment deep moment spiritual moments are gone

And soon the alien agenda will take full swing and the rest last for the humanity will be completely dead

2023

I'm just a messenger

From the Grays, I'm just a messenger the vast majority of us are hidden Society

There are many of us but we're closest Society they who made Humanity know how to close their hybrid to make them look very blendable

Camouflage, hidden

And I liked my Gray skin but the Grays wouldn't let me have it it was beautiful but I had to lose and have this ugly white skin

😡

I was beautiful keyword "Was"

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bttnbsh · 2 years

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Just A Devlog

https://imgur.com/gallery/ls8FEbxUnfortunately, my personal life got even messier this week so I'm feeling down and I don't have the inclination to come up with a topic to write about this time around. But it didn't get messy until Friday, so I did manage to put in a fair amount of work into Effing & Blinding - at least by the paltry standards I've set myself recently, so let me show you what I've been doing! First up are those darn guards again - they're almost finished, I promise! This week I managed to give them their chase state, so they now run a bit faster and have a different animation once they hear Damien swearing. What's shown in the video below is basically the before and after of the Mad Libs-style tirade typing game, but I haven't had the chance to build that yet. So Damien will swear, you'll play the minigame, then guards will enter the chase state - that's all the guards in the level. They'll abandon their posts and patrols with the single-minded goal of catching the foul-mouthed little shit. They'll eventually pounce at Damien when they have the chance, but I haven't finished the rough animation for that yet.

https://imgur.com/gallery/gTSQAcY

I did begin the tirade game by starting the glossary of swearwords that players will be typing. I've already mentioned some backlash I got to the inclusion of 'fuck' in a video, and while that gave me food for thought, I stuck to my guns. But after I created the glossary, I started to reconsider whether that is indeed the direction I want to go - the super expletive route. Sure, typing chucklefuck is fun - I know it is, because I just did it - but most are just crass in isolation. Would typing a non-expletive insult like dunderhead or numpty be any less fun? Maybe a little, but it's less reliant on the shock value and there's just more freedom when you're not limiting yourselves to swear words. I still maintain that a well-timed silly bollocks would be a welcome addition to any game, but I think I'm leaning towards sanitising my idea somewhat. I also gave Damien some much-needed attention this week - I finally added in his other offensive moves - flipping the birds and the Vs (although it's barely noticeable in the animation at the moment ... I'll give that more attention later). Given the previous paragraph, there might be a suggestion that these moves are incongruous with the more palatable vocabulary I'm veering towards, but I'm happy enough that gestures don't quite carry the same weight as words do. In adding these moves, I got myself into a right mucking fuddle with inputs and had to do a lot of reworking of his code. Basically, because he was player-controlled, I didn't bother with a state machine and I let the inputs act as state triggers using bools as flags for certain actions. However, this wasn't feasible as the inputs grew and I spent hours tidying up the code and giving him states for sneaking, walking, performing actions and so on.

https://imgur.com/gallery/ls8FEbx

And that's pretty much it. It didn't feel like I made much progress during the week, but it seems like a little more now I've written it out and I'm happy that the guards and Damien are almost done. Fingers crossed I can pick up the pace a bit over the next couple of weeks. If you want to hear more about Effing & Blinding, come back next week, or sign up for the mailing list.

Thanks for reading! Craig BTTNBSH

#indiegamedev #indiegames #solodev #devlog

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strqyr · 3 years

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— the story of seasons

#rwby #cinder fall #winter schnee #raven branwen #strqyr.gif #hey i love them #they're queens #gif making is hard #cos i keep messing up #and changing my mind #until eventually giving up and going ef it this will have to do

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years

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RE8 Ladies + S/o with chronic pain HCs

Type/cause of chronic pain is kept ambiguous, but some of the hcs might seem geared towards migraines, since that's the main thing that I personally struggle with (and these are very definitely comfort hcs). Features Alcina, Bela, Cassandra, Daniela, Donna, Mother Miranda, and as a 'lil bonus Ava. Not particularly long, but the combined length of every character is enough to be put under a read-more (About 2,500 words in total).

Alcina:

It’s difficult for her to know that you are suffering, but be unable to deal directly with the source of the problem. Chasing off unwanted nuisances or hunting down threats to the castle was one thing, trying to solve complicated medical issues was another thing entirely. If only she could tear your condition asunder without tearing you asunder.

That being said, she’ll still support you endlessly, however she can. It doesn’t matter how expensive or hard-to-access possible treatments are. If there’s something you haven’t tried, and are interested in trying, she’ll find a way for you to get it.

The biggest, and arguably most helpful, thing that she does is set up a space for you within her office. She spends quite a lot of time there for her family’s business, but doesn’t want to leave you alone on bad days. So this was her idea of a nice compromise.

There’s a very comfortable sofa that folds out, a cabinet filled with the softest blankets, and several pillows of a few different sizes. Servants are instructed not to interrupt Alcina’s work without good reason, but she has a couple who ensure your snack cabinet is always well stocked.

If there are certain environmental factors to your condition, such as sensitivity to light and sound, she does her best to reduce their effects. Lights remain dimmed (or she’ll rely on candlelight), her music will be kept quiet enough to be soothing, and she’ll refrain from taking any calls while you are with her.

Bela:

To think that Daniela once tried to claim that Bela would “never need to know any of that (medical) stuff”! Sure, there haven’t been many people who have needed (and received) treatment from her, but that didn’t mean the skill was useless. Admittedly, she doesn’t know enough to replace one of your doctors, or try to create her own version of a cure, though no one really expected that much from her.

Still, she knows enough to help soothe your pain. Obviously there are different techniques for different kinds of pain, and she does research before trying anything specific. Bela’s also aware that you’ve been dealing with this for far longer than she has, meaning that you probably wouldn’t be pleased if she came in, acted like an expert, or assumed that you hadn’t really thought about the most popular remedies. So she’s tactful with how she approaches things, always checking if you’re familiar with a subject before she tries to explain anything.

Bela ends up surprising you with a lesser-known skill of hers: Massage. Studying anatomy has given her a decent idea of the body’s more sensitive spots, and the rest she’s figured out through her own, ahem, experiences. Regardless of where you’re in pain, your girlfriend can help reduce your suffering. Okay, well, if your pain is more internal than external, it’s a bit harder for her, but she can still help you relax.

One of her favorite things to do after giving you a massage is to just pull you in close for some cuddling. Preferably you’ll be in her lap, with her arms around your waist, her chin tucked on top of your shoulder. Then she’ll do her best to whisper you praises, reminding you how strong you are, and that she’s incredibly proud of you.

Cassandra:

She’s, uh, not great at this. At least not at first. Maybe she’ll never be more than good at it, though. But she’s definitely trying! And learning! By Jove, that’s something, right?

First things first, she’s always ready to try to distract you, primarily through kisses and gentle touches. Fingers softly trailing over your skin, lips tickling your neck, featherlight in all the right places… It’s not inherently sexual (though it can quickly go that route if you ask), just intimate. It’s harder for your brain to process pain when you’re also processing pleasure, so there is some science behind Cassandra’s methods, even if she herself isn’t entirely aware of that.

While she’s not great with words, there are certain things that she manages to articulate well enough. For one, she makes sure you know that you aren’t a burden. Taking care of you- no, helping you take care of yourself- is a labor of love, if a labor at all. More than that, she knows full well that you probably don’t like feeling pitied, or coddled. That, over time, being sick ends up being beyond frustrating. She never wants you to feel like your condition defines you, or like it puts any strain on your relationship.

That said, she’ll avoid telling her family any specifics unless you do first, and ensures that the staff know how to accommodate you (without telling them why, because it’s none of their fucking business, and she’s their boss, and for fuck’s sake it’s their job to do what she tells them. Maybe she gets a lil bit overzealous with it). At no point will she ever complain about helping you, or otherwise indicate that your needs are “troublesome”.

At the end of the day, the best comfort she brings you is her presence, simply being near you, endlessly loyal, tireless in her affections. Especially considering she gets clingier the worse your symptoms get.

Daniela:

Hope you enjoy cuddling. Seriously. There’s nothing Daniela loves more than curling up with you, and that goes double for bad pain days. Some adjustments will be made position-wise if you need, but she’ll still hold you as close as possible, for as long as you need. Although she might eventually fall asleep (because damn are you comfy), she’ll play with your hair or run her fingers along your scalp until she eventually dozes off.

If you want a little more from her than light snoring, or if she feels like going above and beyond, or honestly just if she’s thinking about how much she loves you (so all the effing time), she’ll do something she’s always loved in movies/books: Reading to you! She’ll pick special books that neither of you have read before, so you can experience them together on your sick(er) days. Which does, of course, mean that it might take months to finish even a single one. Surprisingly, Daniela won’t even briefly consider reading any without you. Even if the plot is really good.

But, uh, if you wanted her to read to you on a day where you aren’t bedridden? Hell yes, my friend, she’s absolutely down for that!

On days where she’s too busy to spend hours upon hours in bed with you, or days where her ADHD is just particularly bad, she tries her best to leave you with a “substitute”. AKA a massive fucking teddy bear, in a reddish brown color, with a green bowtie. Custom ordered (The Duke did not dare tease her for it). There’s a heart stitched onto the stuffed animal’s chest, which features your first initial alongside a D for Daniela.

Additionally, she has a blanket she only brings out for you, which she periodically sprays with her favorite perfume. That way you can hold it close when she’s not around, as if you were cuddling her. For her sake, though, don’t hold the teddy bear or blanket too tightly when she is around. Homegirl here will get jealous of inanimate objects, even ones that she gave you.

Donna:

“I think I have a tea for this…” Damn right she has a tea for this. Donna has a massive garden, with dozens if not hundreds of different plants, including a variety of herbs/spices. At least one of them has to be a little helpful for you. Whether it relieves pain, helps you nap off some of your misery, or just distracts you by tasting bloody-well delicious! Besides, few things make you feel quite as loved as holding a cup of freshly brewed tea in your hands, knowing your lover made it just for you. Like a hug in a mug, it is!

Similarly to Alcina, Donna will also try to create a comfortable space for you, but isn’t likely to put it downstairs with her workshop. Instead she’ll let you take over one of the larger guest rooms, customizing it to suit your specific needs. There will be some easy to care for plants for decoration (ones that won’t mind potentially missing out on natural sunlight), a couple relaxing paintings, and a shelf near the bed with things to help you pass the time, mainly books.

Furthermore, she’ll do her best to keep you company as often as possible. She’s naturally a fairly quiet person, so you won’t have to worry about sound if that’s something you’re sensitive to. While she prefers using a sewing machine, she’ll do things by hand while you’re in pain, just to reduce the chances of you getting irritated by the sound.

Speaking of potentially irritating sounds… by god can Angie be difficult to be around when you’re ill. Thankfully, Donna is perfectly understanding of this, and, as the only person Angie ever listens to, makes sure to give the doll a stern talking to about your health. To your immense surprise, it actually works. You’re not exactly sure what was said, but Angie certainly becomes a lot more compensating afterwards. She’ll keep her antics to herself, and usually even on another side of the house from where you rest, but only for as long as you’re tucked away in your room. As soon as you set foot outside, her restraints are metaphorically removed. All hell breaks loose (as is her universe-given right as the physical embodiment of both Chaos and Entropy).

Mother Miranda:

If the two of you weren’t lovers, there’s a decent chance you would completely misinterpret her actions. She might come off as irritated, like she has bigger concerns than your health, you fragile little human. After all, she is a goddess (well, practically). But the truth is that she’s aching inside every time you have a bad pain day, knowing that (for once) she cannot cure your ailment. Maybe if she had infinite subjects with the same condition as you…

But, at the end of the day, that’s the problem. There’s only one of you. One of her beloved, her little human darling, so dangerously fragile in comparison to the scale she works on. Even with all the time in the world, which she most certainly has, she cannot cure you without taking incredible risks. With your life at stake… It is a gamble she refuses to take. You are hers, and while she hates to see you suffer, the truth is that she’ll always be selfish enough to let you endure on your own.

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t help, though, just that she doesn't do a full-out experiment on you. Instead, she keeps notes. She’ll track your activities, bedtimes/when you get up, dietary habits, when you have pain, what you do to treat said pain, how effective the treatments are, etc, etc. All of this can be very useful in establishing patterns (a skill she’s gotten very good at, in her many decades of being a scientist), which can in turn lead to less pain days.

(For example, many people with migraines find that certain foods seem to trigger a migraine, or at least increase the chances of getting one. Though admittedly they don’t always end up cutting the food out of their diet. I mean, come on, you want me to give up chocolate? You want me to drink normal milk, like an adult? Kidding, kidding, I don’t have any food triggers. Nor do I particularly enjoy chocolate milk, nor do I dislike it.)

Moving on! While her work seemingly takes precedence over your condition, Miranda is not heartless, and she does do some things to lend you more direct comfort. Specifically, she tries to work in the same room as you when she can, normally while making electronic copies of physical documents, or while looking over the details of a finished experiment. She’s not always one for cuddling, so she won’t often get in bed with you during the daytime. But at night? Yes, fine, she will wrap her arms around you, maybe one of her wings too if you like how soft they are.

Just don’t think that she secretly loves every second. It’s not like she’ll spend half an hour whispering about how sweet and adorable you are as soon as you fall asleep, or anything like that. It’s twenty minutes at the most.

Bonus!Avaskian Caldwell:

“Oh, fuckin’ mood!” Followed by a solid thirty seconds of pure regret. Seriously, though, Ava has spent xer entire life (starting at age 10) dealing with chronic migraines. For a while xe also dealt with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), which meant lots of chest pain, but that (thankfully) faded as xe grew into an adult, as is fairly common with the condition. If anyone in Castle Dimitrescu understands unrelenting, unexplainable pain, it’s xer.

That being said… Ava never really managed xer chronic pain, at least not when xe was at xer worst. Xe had to drop out of school because of it. Hell, xe didn’t have a “real” job until xe was almost 23! Didn’t have a chance until things just calmed down for xer. So xe gets anxious whenever you talk about your health, worried that things are (or will at some point be) as bad for you as they were for xer. Other than that, though, you might initially think that xe doesn’t care, or didn’t understand the conversation.

Truth is, xe knows how absolutely fucking ANNOYING it can be to have to explain your health to every new person you meet (like the dozen different doctors you’ve met over the years, possibly every nurse who takes your pulse and thinks it’s a little bit high). So xe did a shit ton of research on your condition, in order to reduce how much you need to explain. Sure, xe will still have questions, and there are always aspects that only you can tell xer, but it’s a nice gesture.

As for helping you destress, xe’s pretty much a mix of Bela and Miranda. You’ll get plenty of massages (because Ava has learned from personal experience what sort of touches help with which sorts of pain), but also some scientific insight on any noticeable patterns. Lots of holding you close and telling you that you’re the coolest person in the world, and that Ava feels beyond lucky to have you.

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #mother miranda x reader #oc x reader #avaskian caldwell #j has ocs #re8 village #resident evil: village #hcs

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not-poignant · 2 years

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Pia omg I loved the last chapter so much, I was definitely crying along with ef. I’m kind of wondering what Lija was hoping to get out of coming to see ef? It seemed a bit unprofessional/insensitive to come visit a potentially suicidal patient and then talk about a bunch of potential triggers like augus, crielle, gwyn? I get that she was like ‘I want to check on an old patient’ but seems like a bit of a conflict of interest when you’re also the mum of the guy who just punched him out. Seems like if your priority is making sure this guy doesn’t want to hurt your kids then you shouldn’t be seeing him in your capacity as a medical practitioner??

Oh man Lija was 100% unprofessional, inappropriate, and insensitive, and could easily be reported for her actions.

When Dr Gary finds out, he's going to rip her a new one. And he'll be right to do it. Efnisien literally sat there, cried, and wished a nurse would save him from what she was putting him through, until she badgered him into regressing so severely that he began treating her like Crielle. And we actually haven't seen him regress that severely since the night on the bridge.

She's basically put his life in danger again. I don't even think her main priority was 'checking on an old patient.' I think she was curious, and wanted to see the person who had made people close to her suffer, and had the power to do that. And I think she genuinely and mistakenly thought that saying something like 'I don't want you to die' would mean anything when she's also saying 'I'm so angry at you.'

Seems like if your priority is making sure this guy doesn’t want to hurt your kids then you shouldn’t be seeing him in your capacity as a medical practitioner??

Absolutely.

I honestly think Lija has believed what Gwyn and Augus and many of the others have believed, because all of her information mostly comes from Gwyn and Augus: That Efnisien couldn't possibly have really changed, and that even if he's feeling vulnerable and she doesn't want him to die, she still needs to make sure that he's not going to hurt her son or daughters (or Gwyn) again.

Even not knowing about those things being potential triggers and not understanding the complexity of Efnisien's trauma or inner landscape, she:

* Casually asserted ownership over Efnisien's body in a way that was callous and authoritative ('that's my work' not 'that's your body'). No wonder he was reminded of Crielle, who did the exact same thing. She basically made it seem like she owned a part of him. She doesn't.

* Interrogated him, and refused to stop when he began to cry, or get the nurse, even knowing he was in a psych ward for suicidal intent.

* Threatened him by saying she might come back, despite - at that point - finding it clear that he was being retraumatised.

* Went there as a protective mother who didn't really give a shit about Efnisien as a person.

* Used a 'tough love' approach which is profoundly inappropriate for most suicidal patients or people experiencing serious mental illness.

* Constantly seemed to assume that just saying 'I don't want you to die' while also constantly reminding him of his crimes would actually be helpful. That's some guilt-tripping right there.

* The absolute power trip of the words 'I saved your life' (and therefore you owe me some of your time now) and not 'I did your surgery with a team of competent people who I was absolutely dependent on.'

I could list more things, like the fact that she did that while Efnisien was incredibly vulnerable and medicated, for example, but that's a good start! Dr Gary will probably list the rest, lmao. He's going to be furious.

Like, yes, did she eventually realise she'd fucked up and back out of there and get a nurse? Absolutely. Thank god she's not a total asshole. But did she 100% do a completely unethical thing that there could be professional consequences for? Absolutely. She should never have been in that room.

You can absolutely bet that she lied to the nurses by saying: 'Oh he was my surgical patient 3 years ago and I saved his life and I just wanted to remind him that his life is worth living' and just casually forgot 'also he tortured my son and my son's boyfriend and was a threat around my daughters and my son is the one responsible for his worst physical injury right now.'

Bridge interrogating Efnisien was bad. Lija doing this was worse. He's not her patient anymore, she discharged him years ago. And her casually asserting authority over him and his fragile and vulnerable body to the point that he profoundly regresses, and then not leaving after that, is a cruel thing to do. Whether she did have some good intentions there actually doesn't really matter, she dropped a bomb in Efnisien's lap, and she left a nurse to deal with the aftermath.

#asks and answers #lija dubna vajat #falling falling stars #fae tales #fae tales au #efnisien ap wledig #it's been interesting reading the reactions #because it reminds me a lot of how everyone thought bridge was in the right #for aggressively and callously interrogating efnisien #until dr gary was like 'okay here are all the ways that this should never have happened to you'#this should never have happened to efnisien #it was an ethical disaster just from a professional standpoint #what if she'd wanted to get revenge?#like....she should NEVER have been there #definitely some hurt in among the comfort

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coccinelle-et-chaton · 3 years

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so um... have we considered science teacher! Adrien?

We were talking in the gamma discord and we came up with this great headcanon that Adrien --Mr. Dupain Cheng-- would eventually become a dorky science teacher who puns a lot and get mistaken for that one obscure child celebrity Adrien Agreste.

One thing led to the other and now there's a whole au about one of his students, a punny and (seemingly) happy-go-lucky fifteen year old boy who at first doesn't like Adrien very much but LOVES Chat Noir, discovers his secret by accident. Suddenly Adrien is stuck with a kid who adores him and is a very Peter Parker-and-Iron Man/Miles Morales and Peter B. Parker sort of situation (except ya know, Adrien is not a distant father figure but quite the opposite lol). When he tells Ladybug and Miraculous team like "hELP I DONE EFFED UP" everyone's like 'lol then perish, you deal with that.'

Adrien takes him under his wing (while he and Mari are getting a hold of themselves as the parents of a pair of toddlers-- Hugo and Emma) and realizes they have way more in common than they thought at first.

The kid --Mattheu Magan-- is eager to prove himself and eventually becomes the first member of the new gen of Miraculous holders, and the unofficial older brother of baby Hugo and Emma Dupain Cheng (Louis is not yet on the way ;) )

Anyway, my hand slipped?

@pegasus-anarchy @thesquipproject @sparklylovegiver @miraculyfe @inimoo

Chat Noir Is My Science Teacher

Prologue Mattheu Magan woke up expecting a lot of things that Tuesday morning. Finding out that his nerd of a science teacher was none other than Chat Noir was decidedly not on the list. It was a bit of an accident, he had to admit.

His class was on a field trip to the Cité des Sciences et de l’Industrie. He had decided to go on a bathroom break without telling Mr. Dupain Cheng that he’d be gone, and before he knew it, there was an akuma running rampant out in the main display hall. Matt knew the best he could do was to stay put until Chat Noir and Ladybug appeared.

The restroom was in an adjacent room, one which was empty, but he didn’t dare move. Especially not when Mr. Dupain Cheng rushed into the room and transformed from a teacher he didn’t especially like into his biggest idol.

He froze in place, mouth ajar, and swore loudly.

“Y-you... Mr. Dup-- YOU’RE!”

Chat Noir turned around to find the petrified teen staring at him with eyes wide as saucers as he stuttered.

For a moment, shock also took a hold of Chat Noir, though it was quickly replaced with the need to restrain himself from swearing, too.

Oh no.

This was bad, very bad.

Adrien had messed up before, but this? This took the cake.

He had been figured out. One of his students had figured him out. Oh, he couldn’t wait to hear the certified lecture Ladybug would give him, not to mention the rest of the Miraculous team. To say the least, this was not ideal.

The raging sound of the staff member-turned-monster out in the main hall reminded him of the fact that the rest of his students were scattered in the museum, running for dear life, while Ladybug and Chat Noir waited to make an appearance.

He knew it would take Marinette a while to get to the site. If he recalled, well, she had a big presentation at the label that day. It was up to Chat Noir to get a hold of the situation.

“Y-you’re...”

“Shh!” Chat Noir hissed. “Stay here, kid. You and I need to talk.”

Mattheu gulped at the sudden authority his dorky teacher acted with, unable to do anything but nod.

Chat Noir peeked out to the main hall where the disaster was happening, turned back to him and with a quick wink he said, “Give me ten minutes.”

Exactly ten minutes later, with a crisis averted and Ladybug signing autographs for Mr. Dupain-Cheng’s class, Chat Noir made a reappearance in the empty hall.

Matt, who was still struggling to even process the revelation, had not moved an inch.

Chat Noir bent a little to meet him at his height and looked at him seriously.

“Am--am I in trouble?” was all that Matt could think to say.

Chat Noir searched the boy’s eyes, mouth pressed in a tight line. He shook his head and spoke with worry, “No, kid. You’re in danger.”

Prologue - You are here

Chapter 1 - A Bill On Fire

Chapter 2 - Mr. Deep

Chapter 3 - The Science of a Cataclysm

Chapter 4 - I Can Help!

Chapter 5 - Miss Ladybug

Chapter 6 - Little Monkey On A Roof

Chapter 7 - Hugo and Emma

Chapter 8 - Ladybug and Chat Noir, and Monkid!

#miraculous ladybug #go gamma squad go!#ml fanfic #ml mattheu au #ml adrien's student figures him out au #adrien dupain cheng #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ml time skip au

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heybeybey · 3 years

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Jealous Levi & Jealous Petra headcanons ??

*cracks knuckles* boy do i have a lot in store for you

Jealous Levi

I really think how Levi treats love and relationships are a bit effed up cuz: 1) He was abandoned as a child and 2) He grew up fighting for every single thing he owned.

I think this will reflect in his relationships and that he’ll be the type who seems chill and unaffected on the outside but steaming in anger on the inside when someone tries to flirt with Petra or try to steal Petra from him (lol i pray for their soul tho)

I’m pretty sure he’s the type who’d be borderline possessive at times because, again, he had to fight for and protect what he had while he was in the Underground.

Whenever someone tries to flirt w/Petra and she unknowingly reciprocates, he’d probably feel that maybe he’s doing something wrong and his mind goes from 0 to 200 and starts thinking that he’ll get abandoned again since he’s not good enough (thanks a lot kenny)

The guy is also canonically unattractive and Isayama said he’s a 2/10. In their world, his looks are probably mediocre at best (and we’ve never met anyone who showed attraction towards Levi, which only further supports this)

I think his looks might also play into his insecurity that Petra is more than capable to find someone better.

So yeah, basically a mix of 30% insecurity and 70% anger when he’s jealous

He’s not really the type who’d rage around and scream “this is my girl how dare u touch her” (in canonverse)

In modernverse, he’ll be the type who walks towards Petra when someone’s flirting with her and hooks his arm around her in front of the other guy. He doesn’t say anything, just... stands there next to Petra until the other guy’s uncomfortable enough and hesitantly leaves.

But he does glare at those who looks at Petra the wrong way.

And those peeps would be scrambling away and Petra would just be confused why. Petra would probably think she did something wrong

He has the tendency to be violent when jealousy strikes but only in extreme cases (someone trying to kiss Petra or sleep with Petra)

If it’s something that he knows deep down is petty, he’d just ball his fist or slam a cup way too hard or slam the door

Hahaha one time he got jealous of Erwin. We all know Petra’s nice to everyone and it just happened that during this time, Petra needed to spend more time with Erwin behind closed doors (paperwork idk).

Levi was so suspicious the whole day because he also knows how Erwin can be manipulative. He’d glare at Erwin so hard, get ruder and harsher than usual. When they train, he’d basically slice off the whole titan dummy especially when Erwin was surveying their performance.

All’s good though. They’re still best bros...

But Levi demanded that Erwin’s time with Petra needs to be pre-approved by him first since he is her captain.

Petra was offended and had to stop herself from slapping Levi after that.

Jealous Petra

Yo our bby girl is sometimes a tad bit too kind that she thinks the other girl is just being nice to Levi. She’d probably try to befriend the other woman and they’d fangirl over the captain.

She’ll eventually feel that something’s wrong and that the other girl has different intentions soon enough and that’s when she’d constantly be on guard.

Probably would go as far as follow Levi around because “the captain might need me.”

But in reality, Petra’s keeping an eye out on this bish who’s out to steal her man.

She won’t do any physical harm UNLESS Levi starts getting harassed or Levi’s already saying no and the other girl is way too persistent.

I think if someone just has a crush on Levi, that’s alright with her. She doesn’t get jealous over that. He’s famous, after all.

Only when she notices that they’re making moves to sleep with him or kiss him or something, that’s when our girl gets violent.

has a Must Protect Captain At All Costs mode

She’d cutely steam in anger or probably pout once in a while if someone gives gifts to Levi and it’s apparent they’re out for him romantically but again, nothing too drastic.

Okay HC story I just thought of: One day, Levi unknowingly caught the attention of a noble and the woman asked Commander Erwin that she’d back up the SC if Levi spends the night with her

YO PETRA FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS and before Levi can tell Erwin to tell the noblewoman to fuck off, Petra barged into the commander’s office and starts telling Erwin what to do. How Levi isn’t some plaything they can pass around. How he can write a letter back to the woman and say she can shove it.

Actually, no. She grabbed the paper from Erwin and she started writing the reply herself.

#rivetra #petra ral #petra rall #levi ackerman #rivapeto #levitra #aot petra #aot levi #levi x petra

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javistg · 3 years

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A Second Chance CH 4.

Chapter 4 is ready!

I want to thank you all for your messages and support. I can't believe you've stuck with me and my story for this long and I'm incredibly grateful.

Also, I have added one more chapter to the story.

The next chapter is almost ready, but it won't be very long. It's just a short epilogue. Still, I hope it will be enough to answer all those questions I haven't answered so far.

In the meantime, thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy. ❤️

Based on prompt 110: A time travel AU: Katniss from Mockingjay, (any part of the book, it's up to you), winds up back the day before her sister's first reaping. What does she do now that she knows what's coming? Now that she knows how Peeta feels about her, and she knows how desperately she needs him, and what they could share? What on earth could she, or should she, even do/change? And what is she should lose it all again? [submitted by @wingletblackbird For EFE 2019]

Want to read from the start? Go to AO3 or FF.net

CHAPTTER 4.

Claudius Templesmith’s voice booms all around the arena. “Ladies and gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!”

As soon as the clock runs out, Katniss jumps from her platform and makes a beeline for the nearest backpack.

She’s almost at the tree line when she feels the impact of Clove’s knife sticking into her bag.

Right on cue, Katniss thinks as she slips into the woods.

Relying on her memory, she runs through the narrow paths and slopes until she reaches the lake. Getting on her knees, she shrugs the backpack off her shoulders and makes a quick inventory of its contents.

One thin black sleeping bag that reflects body heat. A pack of crackers. A pack of dried beef strips. A bottle of iodine. A box of wooden matches. A small coil of wire. A pair of night-vision glasses. And a half-gallon plastic bottle with a cap.

After filling her water bottle to the brim, Katniss starts walking again. She doesn’t want to go too far from the water —she refuses to deal with dehydration once more. Still, she tries to keep to the route she followed the first time she was there.

As she retraces her steps, she eventually comes across a familiar tree. A willow that’s not terribly tall but set in a clump of other willows, offering concealment in its long, flowing tresses.

She climbs up, sets her sleeping bag, straps herself to the branch, and waits.

The sky has already gone dark when she sees a small fire begin to bloom.

Katniss curses under her breath. Even now, she can’t bring herself to feel any sympathy for the tribute who’s decided to advertise their location in a place full of predators.

A few hours later, the Careers come traipsing through the forest. They’re about ten yards from her tree when an argument breaks.

Katniss grabs onto her branch and holds her breath in expectation.

Peeta’s words cut the bickering. “We’re wasting time! I’ll go finish her and let’s move on!”

Up on her tree, Katniss presses her lips together to contain her smile. The cameras are on her, watching her every move, and she stubbornly refuses to let the Capitol see her relief.

As Peeta walks away, she tries to conjure up all the anger and hurt she felt during her first Games so she can glare at him as he disappears from view.

XXXXX

Katniss runs through the woods, crushing branches and trampling down leaves and flowers in her rush to escape her nightmares, but it’s no use.

As the tracker-jacker poison courses through her veins —turning the world into a big shimmering bubble— Katniss berates herself for her carelessness.

She can’t believe her bow and arrows ended up stuck in Glimmer’s hands again; or that she needed Peeta’s warning to start moving.

Now, as she rushes through the forest trying to fight the ever-growing hallucinations, she knows that, once more, her clumsiness has placed Peeta’s fate in Cato’s hands.

Katniss turns a bend on the road. The earth shakes beneath her feet with the force of an explosion. She knows it’s not real, but she can’t fight it anymore. She sinks to her knees, exhausted, doomed.

Her nightmares have found her, and all she can do is give in.

XXXXX

Katniss wakes up a few days later to find her bow and arrows placed neatly by her side and Rue hiding behind a tree.

Together, the girls hunt and forage and --just like the first time-- their fast, easy friendship blossoms.

When the time comes for Katniss to leave to blow the Careers’ supplies up, she hesitates. Maybe I should take Rue down to the river, she thinks. We could dig Peeta from the mud and start treating him. The three of us could hide in the cave and…

With a shake of her head and a heavy heart, Katniss gives up. Thanks to Peeta’s intensive training for the Quarter Quell, she knows how that story ends. Alliances in the arena never last.

She would only be postponing Rue’s death. And for what? So that she can end up holding her mutilated body after a strange mutt kills her? The thought makes her shudder.

I need to weaken the Careers, she reminds herself as she walks towards the Cornucopia. Otherwise, Peeta and I won’t stand a chance.

XXXXX

Katniss is perched up on a tree, waiting.

A part of her mind is still consumed with Rue. Images of her, bloody and speared, play on a loop behind her eyes. She tries to block them out, to distract herself with something else, but she doesn’t have the strength; she’s too disgusted with herself.

Overcome by despair, Katniss hates the choices she’s made.

She hates that, despite having a second chance, she’s still helpless to do better, that she still thinks she has to put her life first.

As the sun sinks behind the trees, her mind flies back to Peeta. He’s somewhere out there, hurt, slowly bleeding to death by the stream.

She wants to drop this stupid pretense and rush to him, but she can’t.

There is one way out of this arena, and she needs to stick to her past actions to find it. So, Katniss wraps her arms around herself and waits.

She’s almost reached the end of her rope when the sky finally lights up. No deaths.

Her heart nearly jumps out of her chest when she hears the trumpets. Eager, she perks up in anticipation.

Claudius Templesmith’s voice blares down from overhead, congratulating the six tributes who remain. “There’s been a rule change in the Games. Under the new rule, both tributes from the same district will be declared winners if they are the last two alive.”

Claudius pauses, giving his audience time to digest the news. He repeats the change again, “Two tributes can win this year. If they’re from the same district.”

He’s barely finished speaking when Katniss reaches for her belt and begins unbuckling herself. The last time she was there, she waited for day to break, but she can’t do that this time. Not when she knows Peeta needs her.

With quick fingers, Katniss packs everything in her bag and slips the night-vision glasses on.

“Hold on, Peeta,” she says as she shimmies down the tree. “I’m on my way.”

XXXXX

As soon as she reaches the edge of the water, she realizes her mistake.

It’s a cold night. A bright round moon bathes the arena in pale light but, even with her glasses, that's not enough to make her way through the slippery mud.

Muttering obscenities under her breath, she backtracks until she finds a tree to spend the rest of the night.

With the first light of day, Katniss heads downstream.

After a while, the stream begins to curve to the left into a part of the woods where the muddy banks, covered in tangled water plants, lead to large rocks that increase in size.

Keeping her eyes to the ground, she spots a bloody streak going down the curve of a boulder.

Her heart picks up speed. Hugging the rocks, she moves, as quickly as she can, in the direction of the blood.

The blood trail stops. There’s no sign of Peeta.

She knows he’s close, though.

Crouching down, she whispers, “Peeta?”

The voice that answers back is hoarse and weak, but she would recognize it anywhere. “You here to finish me off, sweetheart?”

Katniss whips around.

“Peeta?” she whispers, biting back a smile. “Where are you?”

There’s no answer. So, Katniss creeps along the bank. “Peeta?”

“Well, don’t step on me.”

Katniss jumps back.

His voice is right under her feet. Still, there’s nothing.

Then his eyes open, unmistakably blue in the brown mud and green leaves.

Katniss’s gasp is rewarded with a hint of white teeth as he laughs.

“Close your eyes again,” she orders.

He does, and his mouth too, and completely disappears.

Katniss kneels beside him. “I guess all those hours decorating cakes paid off.”

Peeta smiles. “Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.”

“You’re not going to die,” she tells him firmly.

“Says who?” His voice is so ragged it makes her chest hurt.

“Says me. We’re on the same team now, you know,” she tells him.

Peeta’s eyes open. “So I heard. Nice of you to find what’s left of me.”

Katniss pulls out her water bottle and gives him a drink. “Did Cato cut you?”

“Left leg. Up high.”

Her heart drops, she had hoped Peeta would fare better this time around, but it seems that they’re exactly in the same situation as before.

At least I didn’t leave him lingering here while I had breakfast, she thinks as she helps him take a few more sips. “Let’s wash you off so I can see what kind of wounds you’ve got.”

“Lean down a minute first,” Peeta says. “Need to tell you something.”

She leans over and puts her good ear to his lips, which tickle as he whispers. “Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”

Katniss bursts out laughing. “Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.”

Remembering how hard it was to move him, she decides to skip that part and strip and clean him right where he is.

“Alright, let’s get you cleaned up,” she says as she begins digging into the mud and plants which seem to have imprisoned him.

To her surprise, Peeta shakily pushes his upper body away from the ground. A little push from her, and he’s sitting up.

His new position doesn’t last long, though. With a pained grunt, Peeta slumps against a nearby rock.

“How do you feel?” she asks, brushing the matted hair from his face.

“Woozy.”

Using her two water bottles and Rue’s water skin, she begins cleaning him up. It’s slow going. The water is cold, and he’s so caked with mud and matted leaves that she can’t even see his clothes.

When she’s done, she gently unzips his jacket, unbuttons his shirt, and eases them off him.

His undershirt comes next. It’s stained, but at least it’s not stuck to his skin.

“Can you lift your arms?” she asks.

Peeta complies, lifting one arm at a time and dropping them limply by his side as soon as he’s done.

With one last tug, Katniss pulls the undershirt over his head.

Tears well up in her eyes when she takes him in.

He’s badly bruised. There’s a long burn across his chest and a superficial cut on his arm. There’s also a bit of good news, though.

Only one of his tracker jacker stings looks bad. The skin around it is swollen and angry. The other three have been treated, Peeta's covered them with wads of chewed-up leaves.

“Did I do OK?” Peeta asks.

“You did great,” she tells him as she gently peels the dried leaves from his skin. “You only missed one.”

Peeta closes his eyes. His head lols back. “Where is it?”

“Right under your ear.” Carefully, she pours some cold water on the spot to clean it. Just looking at it makes her chest hurt. “Hold still,” she says as she digs the stinger out of the lump.

Peeta winces, but the minute she applies a fresh batch of chewed-up leaves, he sighs in relief.

Cleaning his clothes seems pointless right now that the sun isn’t hot enough to dry them. So, she uses the cleaner side of his undershirt to pat him dry and applies some burn cream to his chest.

His skin is warm but not excessively hot. This feels like good news but, Katniss isn’t sure. They’re out by the stream, and the nighttime chill hasn’t dissipated yet. The cold weather could be masking Peeta’s fever.

Since they can’t afford to waste any time, Katniss keeps going. Standing up, she shrugs off her jacket and gently drapes it over Peeta’s shoulders to protect him from the cold. Then, she digs through the first-aid kit she got from Marvel until she finds the pills that reduce temperature.

“Swallow these,” she tells him. Peeta obediently takes the medicine. “You must be hungry.”

“Not really,” says Peeta.

“We need to get some food in you,” she insists. Remembering what happened last time, she forgoes the groosling and gives him the dried apple instead.

“Can I sleep now, Katniss?” he asks after he’s had a few bits.

“I need to look at your leg first.”

Gently, she removes his boots and socks and then very slowly inches his pants off of him.

Her heart plummets when she sees the tear Cato’s sword made in the fabric over his thigh. Gritting her teeth, she keeps going.

As Peeta’s leg comes into view, Katniss gasps.

The wound isn’t exposed. Just like the tracker jacker stings, it’s been covered with leaves.

With trembling fingers, she carefully removes the green plaster.

The wound is terrible, a deep inflamed gash, but Peeta’s done a better job of taking care of it. It’s not oozing as much blood or pus as it did the last time.

“Pretty awful, huh?” says Peeta. He’s watching her closely.

Katniss shrugs. “I’ve seen worse,” she tells him honestly. “I just need to clean it well.”

Scooting her square of plastic under him, Katniss begins washing down his lower half.

Except for Cato’s cut, Peeta’s legs have fared pretty well. There’s one more tracker jacker sting, which he’s also cured, and a few minor burns that she treats quickly.

After pouring a few water bottles over it, the wound doesn’t look any better but, at least, it doesn’t look any worse.

Katniss applies a handful of chewed-up tracker jacker leaves to the wound. Within minutes, pus begins running down the side of Peeta’s leg. She repeats the process. This time, very little pus comes out.

“What next, Dr. Everdeen?” Peeta asks.

“I have a bandage I can use, but there’s something I need to do first.” Reaching behind her, Katniss pulls out Rue’s backpack. “Here, cover yourself with this, and I’ll wash your shorts.”

“Oh, I don’t care if you see me,” says Peeta.

Katniss sets her jaw. Anger and humiliation rush through her veins as an image of Johanna --stripping in front of Peeta-- comes to her mind.

Fixing him with a blistering glare, she growls, “I care, all right?”

With an aggravated huff, Katniss stands up and turns to look at the stream.

As she waits for Peeta to shimmy out of his undershorts, his words come back to her. “For the Capitol, you’re pure,” he had said, clearly trying to mollify her. “For me, you’re perfect.”

Placated by the memory, Katniss sighs.

As soon as Peeta’s undershorts splash into the current, she turns to look at him.

There he is, her boy with the bread, so strong and fierce and brave. He looks small right now, pale and weak and vulnerable, but she’s not worried. Peeta's done better this time, and he’s going to push through. Just as he always does.

Katniss walks over to him and puts a few dried pear halves in his hand. “I'm going to wash your clothes. In the meantime, you eat these,” she says before heading down to the stream.

XXXXX

Katniss holds the small vial of sleep syrup in the palm of her hand. She doesn’t like what she’s about to do, but she knows she has no choice.

Peeta’s condition is not as critical as the last time. She’s managed to keep his fever from spiking, but the wound on his leg isn’t getting any better.

Besides, if she doesn’t go to the feast, Thresh won’t kill Clove.

With grim resolve, she gets to work. She mashes up a handful of berries and adds some mint leaves for good measure. Then she heads back up to the cave.

“I’ve brought you a treat,” she tells Peeta, “I found a new patch of berries a little farther downstream.”

XXXXX

“You better run now, Fire Girl,” Thresh tells her.

Katniss doesn’t need to be told twice. She flips over, digging her feet into the hard-packed earth, and runs away from Thresh and Clove and the sound of Cato’s voice.

She reaches the woods and keeps going. Blood pours into her eye, but she just swipes it away.

After a few minutes, she hears the cannon. Clove has died.

When she finally reaches the water, she slows down. She’s fairly certain Cato headed out after Thresh. Still, she doesn’t want to waste any time.

Katniss pulls off Rue’s socks, which she’d been using for gloves. Setting them aside, she splashes water over her forehead to clean the cut.

Moving quickly, she presses the socks to her forehead to staunch the flow of blood.

She knows the socks will be soaked in minutes. So, she reaches for the bandage in her small backpack and wraps it, as tightly as she can, around her forehead.

That should do the trick, she thinks, standing up to continue her trek downstream.

She makes it back to the cave in record time.

After squeezing through the rocks, she pulls the little orange backpack from her arm, cuts open the clasp, and dumps the contents on the ground—one slim box containing one hypodermic needle.

Without hesitating, she jams the needle into Peeta’s arm and slowly presses down on the plunger.

Exhausted, Katniss sighs. Her head is throbbing.

Her hands go to her forehead. When they drop back on her lap, she sees they’re clean.

After taking one of the fever pills, Katniss snuggles next to Peeta and drifts off.

XXXXX

Cato rushes through the woods, making a beeline for the Cornucopia.

Without question, Katniss follows him.

Her hands have just landed on the metal at the pointed tail of the Cornucopia when she turns back to look at Peeta. He’s not that far behind, but the mutts are closing in on him fast.

She sends an arrow into the pack, and one goes down, but there are plenty to take its place.

Peeta waves her up the horn, “Go, Katniss! Go!”

Katniss starts climbing, scaling the Cornucopia on her hands and feet. The pure gold surface has been designed to resemble a woven horn, so there are little ridges and seams to get a decent hold on. But after a day in the arena sun, the metal feels hot enough to blister her hands.

Cato lies on his side at the very top of the horn, twenty feet above the ground, gasping to catch his breath as he gags over the edge.

Katniss stops midway up the horn, loads another arrow, and points it at him, but just as she’s about to let it fly, she hears Peeta cry out. She twists around.

Peeta’s just reached the tail, and the mutts are right on his heels.

“Climb!” she yells.

Peeta starts up while Katniss keeps her eyes on the mutts. When one of them places its paws on the metal, she shoots her arrow down its throat.

Peeta reaches her feet. She grabs his arm and pulls him along.

Remembering Cato is waiting at the top, she whips around. He’s still doubled over with cramps and apparently more preoccupied with the mutts than with his fellow tributes.

This is my chance, Katniss thinks. She’s replayed this moment hundreds of times in her mind. She’s ready.

At the bottom of the Cornucopia, the mutts are beginning to assemble. Katniss can hear their calls for blood. She knows they won’t stop until they get it.

She tugs Peeta’s arm to get his attention. “Think you could push him over?”

Peeta glances at Cato. He still hasn’t regained his feet, but his breathing is slowing. Soon he’ll be recovered enough to come for them and hurl them over the side to their deaths.

“Shoot straight,” Peeta says before taking a step in Cato’s direction and crouching.

Katniss aims her arrow at Cato’s head.

In. Out. Katniss breathes as she tries to block out the sounds of the mutts sniffing and tasting the metal, scraping paws over the surface, and making high-pitched yipping noises to one another.

Smirking, Cato pushes himself up and ducks his head under his arm to deflect the attack.

Katniss’s arrow flies and reaches its mark, piercing right through Cato’s unprotected hand.

Cato cries out and doubles over in pain just as Peeta slams against him.

Knocked off balance, Cato plummets to the ground.

XXXXX

“Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed,” Claudius Templesmith says. “Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor.”

Katniss looks at Peeta in dismay. She’s exhausted. She just wants the whole thing to be over.

“If you think about it, it’s not that surprising,” Peeta says softly as he pulls the knife from his belt and throws it into the lake.

Katniss doesn’t falter. She immediately drops her weapons.

“No,” Peeta says, reaching for her bow and pressing it back into her hand. “You need to use this now.”

“I can’t,” Katniss says, shaking her head. “I won’t.”

“Do it.” Peeta tightens his hold on her wrist in a silent plea. “Before they send those mutts back or something. I don’t want to die like Cato.”

“Then you shoot me,” she says furiously, shoving the weapons back at him. “You shoot me and go home and live with it!”

“You know I can’t,” Peeta says, discarding the weapons.

He turns to look at the lake. Frustration drips from his voice as he says, “This is why I didn’t want you to go to the feast, why I didn’t want you to risk your life for me. I knew it was pointless, that in the end, they were going to make us choose.”

Peeta drops on one knee and begins untying his shoelaces.

Katniss scowls; this is something new. “What are you doing?”

“I think I’m going to go out for a swim.”

Panic rises within her. The lake isn’t too deep, but Peeta doesn’t know how to swim. What if the Gamemakers decide to create waves or a strong current?

She needs to think. Fast.

Katniss kneels next to him. “Peeta, please don’t!”

“Katniss,” Peeta reaches for the end of her braid and gives it a little tug. “This is my choice. It’s what I want.”

“You’re not leaving me here alone,” she says, reaching out to grab a fistful of his jacket.

“Listen,” he says, pulling her to her feet. “We both know they have to have a victor. It can only be one of us. Please, take it. For me.”

Katniss swallows thickly. This is the opening she was waiting for.

Her fingers fumble with the pouch on her belt, freeing it.

Peeta’s eyes widen. His hand clamps on her wrist. “No, I won’t let you.”

“Trust me,” she whispers.

He holds her gaze for a long moment, then lets go.

Katniss loosens the top of the pouch and pours a few spoonfuls of berries into his palm.

She fills hers. Her heart races in fear and anticipation as she asks, “On the count of three?”

Peeta leans down and kisses her once, very gently. “The count of three,” he says.

They stand, their backs pressed together, their empty hands locked tight.

“Hold them out. I want everyone to see,” Peeta says.

Katniss spreads out her fingers, and the dark berries glisten in the sun.

She’s not afraid this time. If the Gamemakers call their bluff, she and Peeta will have a quick death. Protected by their anonymity, Prim, Gale, and the rest of District 12 will be safe.

Still, as she gives Peeta’s hand one last squeeze as a signal, she hopes it’s not a goodbye.

They begin counting.

“One.” Did she get it right?

“Two.” Maybe this do-over is not for her but for Snow, who’s wanted her dead from the start.

“Three!” She’s about to find out.

Katniss lifts her hand to her mouth.

The berries have just passed her lips when the trumpets begin to blare.

The frantic voice of Claudius Templesmith shouts above them. “Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you — the tributes of District Twelve!”

XXXXX

The tribute train speeds back to District 12.

Alone in her compartment, Katniss washes the makeup from her face and puts her hair in its braid.

As she stares in the mirror, she tries to remember who she is and who she isn't.

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. My home is District 12. I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped. The Capitol hates me, but I came back. Peeta is safe. Our families and our district are waiting for us.

With a steady hand, she pins the mockingjay back on her shirt and adds, Snow’s days in power are numbered.

The train makes a brief stop for fuel, and they’re allowed to go outside for some fresh air.

There’s no longer any need to guard them, so Peeta and Katniss walk down along the track, hand in hand.

As soon as they’re out of earshot, Katniss leans into Peeta’s side and asks, “Have you talked to Haymitch?”

Peeta shakes his head. “About what?”

Remembering how poorly this conversation went the last time, Katniss grabs his arm to keep him close. “He told me the Capitol didn’t like our stunt with the berries.”

Peeta’s body tenses under her touch. “What?”

“He says it seemed too rebellious.”

“Seemed?” Peeta deadpans.

Katniss’s jaw drops open. This is not the reaction she was expecting.

“Come on, Katniss, you can’t be that surprised. We basically forced their hand into doing what we wanted. It’s no wonder they’re upset.” Anger and suspicion quickly flash through his eyes. “Why didn’t he tell me anything?”

Afraid that he’s going to storm away, Katniss tightens her grip on his arm. “Because he didn’t want me to mess up in front of the cameras. He was afraid I’d be all prickly and aloof. So, he told me I needed to act like I was so madly in love that I wasn’t responsible for my actions.”

She knows she’s messed up the second Peeta takes a step away from her. “Act?”

“For the interview,” she quickly clarifies. “Only for the interview.”

The explanation seems to placate him, but he still asks, “So, what you did in the Games, was that—,”

“That was not an act,” she tells him. This time it’s the truth. Her only hidden motive was to bring him out with her.

Peeta nods but, before he can say anything, Haymitch appears by his side.

Even in the middle of nowhere, the old mentor keeps his voice down. “Great job, you two. Just keep it up in the district until the cameras are gone. We should be OK.”

“Thanks for the update,” Peeta growls under his breath.

A deep frown settles on Haymitch’s face. “What’s up with you?”

“I just told him what you said about President Snow,” Katniss whispers.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Peeta asks.

Haymitch lets out an exasperated sigh. “Since when do you need coaching on how to act in front of the cameras, kid? You’re smooth and personable, and you always know exactly what to say.” Hunching closer to the two victors, he adds, “Besides, the walls have ears, even here. I didn’t have that many openings, you know?”

Mollified, Peeta nods. Katniss knows it's just a reprieve, though. Peeta's never liked being kept in the dark, and he'll probably go after Haymitch once they're back home.

“Alright,” Haymitch says, “fun’s over. Time to hop back on board.”

The three victors head back.

Katniss is already on board when she notices Peeta has fallen behind.

Alarmed, she whips around to look out of a window. Peeta’s just a few steps away. A smile splits her face when she notices the bunch of wildflowers in his hand.

As soon as he climbs up the stairs, he presents the pink-and-white flowers to her.

Katniss bursts out laughing. Her eager hands reach for the offering. “You brought me lunch, how thoughtful!”

Peeta tilts his head in question. “Lunch?”

Katniss nods. With soft fingers, she traces the edge of a pink petal. “They’re wild onions. Gale and I gather them sometimes.”

Peeta’s face turns serious. “Katniss, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to snap—,”

“No,” she cuts in, “I get it. We’re a team. We’re in this together.”

Peeta reaches for her hand, interlacing their fingers to bring their palms even closer. Hope lights up his face when he asks, “Together?”

Katniss nods. Standing on the tips of her toes, she presses a soft kiss to his lips and whispers, “Together.”

XXXXX

The Tribute train pulls into District 12.

Katniss and Peeta stand side by side, watching their grimy little station rise up around them.

Through the window, Katniss sees the platform’s thick with cameras. Everyone will be eagerly watching their homecoming.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Peeta extend his hand. His eyes are warm and soft, her safe place in the storm that’s about to be unleashed.

Smiling back at him, Katniss takes his hand and holds on tightly as she prepares for the cameras. Her heart feels full, grateful for the fact that she won’t ever have to let go.

XXXXX

On the first Sunday after the Capitol cameras leave, Katniss sneaks out of Victors’ Village.

Partially hidden by the dim light of dusk, she quietly walks to the Seam.

A part of her wishes she could sneak under the fence and go to her and Gale’s meeting place like she did before. She mises the sounds and the smells of her woods and longs to hold her father’s bow, but she knows the rock ledge isn’t safe. Not today.

President Snow has eyes and ears everywhere, and she can’t afford to repeat her past mistakes. Not when what she has to say is this important.

Two blocks away from Gale’s house, she finds the perfect spot; a narrow corridor that stretches between two shacks. Despite being open on both ends, it’s dark and much too small for foot traffic or lampposts —which makes it a perfect hiding place— and it faces the street Gale uses to go to the woods.

She’s only been there for a few minutes when a silent silhouette walks past.

“Gale!” Katniss hisses as loud as se dares.

Gale stops on his tracks and turns towards the sound, leaning slightly into the small dark corridor.

Smiling fondly at her friend, Katniss lifts her hand and wiggles her fingers in greeting.

The glimmer in his eyes tells her he’s surprised to see her there, but he doesn’t hesitate. In two long strides, he’s by her side with open arms.

Just like she did the last time, Katniss jumps into his embrace.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembers crying —sobbing in Gale’s arms until she began to hiccup and tremble— but she doesn’t cry now. She doesn’t have time for that. Instead, she buries her face in his jacket and breathes him in, letting his fresh, clean scent comfort her and give her the strength she needs to carry on.

Pulling away from her friend, Katniss smiles. “Hi!”

“Hey!” Gale points his thumb back towards the woods. “I was on my way out to meet you.” Dropping his hand, he turns around and inspects their tight hiding place. “What are you doing here?”

“I knew you’d pass by.” Her smile drops. “We need to talk.”

A dark cloud passes through Gale’s eyes. “What’s wrong, Catnip?”

Grabbing a fistful of his jacket to keep him from storming away, Katniss begins to talk. As quickly as she can, she tells him about President Snow’s anger.

“He’s mad at us for showing the Capitol up in the arena and turning it into the joke of Panem,” she says. “It’s something that wouldn’t have mattered much before, but Snow’s control over the country is slipping. His enemies are gaining strength, and he can’t afford to look weak in front of them.”

Anticipation lights Gale’s eyes. “His enemies?”

“Rebel forces are organizing all over the country,” Katniss says, “even the Capitol has a few dissenters, but Snow’s biggest problem is District 13.”

Gale takes a step back. “Thirteen? There’s no Thirteen. It got blown off the map.”

“No, it didn’t,” Amused with the look of shock on Gale's face, Katniss smiles. “District 13 is still there. That footage we’ve seen, with the rubble and the ruins, is always the same shot. The Capitol just uses it as a backdrop for its TV presenters.

“The people of Thirteen have spent the last 74 years living underground, and they're done waiting. They’re eager to get rid of Snow.”

Gale shakes his head, still too disconcerted to fully grasp what’s happening. “How do you know all this?”

“I heard about it while I was in the Capitol,” she lies, convinced that this is the only possible explanation she can give him that will make some kind of sense. “I overheard some conversations during my training, and then, while I was recovering, I was... approached.”

“Approached?”

Katniss nods, hoping Gale won’t press any further. She’s ready to tell him what she knows about Eight and a few other districts, but she doesn’t want to go into any specifics in case someone decides to check up on her info later on.

Luckily, Gale is a man of action, and his hatred for the Capitol runs deep. He has all the information he needs. “So, what are you going to do?”

“Well... All eyes are on me right now, so there’s not much I can do —not if I want to keep my family safe— but I was thinking...”

Katniss looks up, silver eyes bright with trust and hope. “Nobody knows who you are, Gale. No one is following you. You could go. You could just sneak under the fence and march down all the way to Thirteen and tell them everything I know."

"Wait a second," Gale says, raising his hands as if to shield himself from her plan. "If what you're saying is true, District 13 must have agents in every district. So, why would they need me to relay your information?"

Katniss shakes her head. "Thirteen is in contact with a few people, but they don't have access to every district. My information is not very detailed, but it comes from every corner of Panem. The leaders of Thirteen might be able to use it to band the rebels together before Snow sends his Peacekeepers to start cracking down on us."

Pulling his shoulders back, Gale backtracks until his arm touches the cold cement wall. Looking past Katniss, he stares at the empty street at the end of the corridor.

Enveloped by silence, she sees his mind working, turning, and churning ideas as he tries to come to terms with what he’s heard.

“What about my family?” he finally asks.

“I’ll take care of them,” Katniss promises, “just like you took care of mine.”

When Gale looks back at her —full of fire and determination— she knows, clear as day, that she’s made the right choice.

Gale Hawthorne wants the revolution more than he wants anything else.

“I’m going to need a few supplies,” he says, his mind already thinking ahead.

“That’s not a problem. I’ll help you get whatever you need.”

Crossing his arms, Gale tilts his head to study her closely. Uprisings and rebellions are far from his mind when he asks, “So…you and the baker’s son. How long has that been going on?”

Katniss shrugs. What should she say? A year and a half? A month? A week? She doesn’t really know when to start counting. So, she sticks with the vaguest thing she can think of. “A while.”

A mirthless chuckle escapes his lips. “I can’t believe I never noticed.”

“Well," Katniss slips her hands into her pockets. Discussing Peeta with Gale --or Gale with Peeta-- has always made her uncomfortable. Luckily, her friend's tone is a lot more subdued than it used to be. "We weren’t exactly shouting it over the rooftops, you know?”

Raising a questioning eyebrow, he locks his gray eyes with hers. “I thought you didn’t want to get married.”

“I changed my mind.”

As soon as the words pass her lips, she knows they’re true.

She still doesn’t want to have children. If her trips to the Games have taught her anything, it's that Panem is not a safe place to live. But she doesn’t want to be alone anymore, not when she can be with Peeta.

Hoping to put the conversation to rest, she lifts her chin and adds, “Peeta changed my mind.”

Gale nods, slowly taking her in as if he's seeing her for the very first time.

In the small space, Gale offers his hand. "OK, Catnip, I'll do as you ask."

Smiling, Katniss reaches out to shake it and seal their deal.

Katniss heads back to Victors' Village feeling lighter than she has in weeks. Her plan is in motion. Gale is going to District 13.

As she reaches the steps of her new home, a thrilling thought crosses her mind.

She's back on uncharted waters. The future is about to become uncertain once more.

#things I write #a second chance #time travel!everlark #Everlark Fic Exchange #camp nano april 2021

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