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#until finally in self-defense i learned how to perform it in a way i could live with—
ineffable-suffering · 6 months
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INEFFABLE META MASTERPOST
Because I'm slowly losing count and need to organize. So, here's all my self-written metas or ones that I reblogged with my own added theories and commentary! In rainbow colours, naturally.
1 – Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why. My most lengthy and proudest meta about the Final Fifteen and why I think Aziraphale lied on purpose. (Also: The absolute darling @esthermitchell-author bravely fought their way through it and wrote up some more interesting points and different takes on what I came up with. If you want to go down a S2 rabbit hole with us, go read it here.)
2 – Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator (links below) A three-part meta in which I try to analyse and explain that all of the minisodes in Season 2 are not objective narrations but actually Aziraphale's memories.
Part 1: The Story of Job
Part 2: The Story of wee Morag
Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941
3 – The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie A meta in which I go into unnecessarily great detail about how the Whickber Street Meeting Cotillion Ball was meant to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley.
4 – Crowley & Aziraphale were never free (reblog) A reblog of @baggvinshield's post in which I explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.
5 – In Defense of Aziraphale (double reblog) A double try at explaining why I think Aziraphale's POV in the Final Fifteen is just as horrible as Crowley's and why I don't think him "choosing" to go back to Heaven was the only point of his character journey.
6 – The Art of Miscommunication: Ineffable Edition A meta in which i once again explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.
7– Season 2 Bookshop Shot Meta A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a single bookshop frame in Season 2.
8 – What if it wasn't Aziraphale and Crowley who performed the 25 Lazarii miracle? A mini-meta in which I propose the theory that Jimbriel helped with the miracle to hide himself away from Heaven & Hell.
9 – Things in Good Omens Season 2 I still find weird (reblog) A reblog of @ok-sims and many other great OPs' thoughts on the weird loose strings in Season 2 and what unanswered questions I still have myself.
10 – The Deleted Bookshop Scene (reblog) A reblog of @skirtdyke's video and @i-only-ever-asked-questions' smart thoughts on it, with my own overly-excited 'what that could have meant for the "It's too late" line'-theroy.
11 – The Bentley Handle Easter Egg A meta I can proudly say has been liked by none other than Mr. Neil Gaiman himself about Crowley's Bentley handle that might have existed before the Bentley ever did.
12 – The F*cking Eccles Cakes A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a pastry. (Addendum: People said very smart things in the comments of the post!)
14 – Re: "You go too fast for me, Crowley" A meta in which I make myself sad by connecting that infamous line to Aziraphale assuming Crowley wanted the Holy Water as a suicide pill.
13 – Trauma-Dumping on your plants: The Anthony J. Crowley Chronicles A meta on why Crowley treats his plants the way that he does.
14 – Demonic Mental Health Awareness Post In which I talk about why I want to get Crowley a therapy voucher.
15 – The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens A meta on why the Flaming Sword has no deeper meaning. Or does it? (Updated: here's a reblog from @queerfables who did a wonderfully exellent job at calmly explaining all the swordy questions I was yelling about! Consider this meta solved.)
16 – Ceci n'est pas une plume A meta in which I'm a bit of a nerd for language and also explain why learning French and magic the human way says so much about Aziraphale as a character.
17 – The meaning of "I forgive you" A meta in which I explain what both "I forgive you"s mean and why Aziraphale will always fight for what is right until he wins. Also, the lovely @sharksbeerr translated it to Chinese on Weibo!
18 – Memory, or the lack thereof, in Season 2 A little reblog on how memory is a big and unresolved, leaky-bucket theme in Season 2.
Addendum:
The one non-spoiler-y ask I could come up with about S2 that was actually answered by Neil, yay!
Also, this wholesome little post I added to that Mr. Gaiman also reblogged. :‘)
*** This is a work in progress and will get updated every time I post a new meta! ***
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sun-undone · 1 year
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JJ feeling cornered and isolating himself in 1x07 vs in 3x04
welcome back to “how many ways can sof talk about one scene”
so i've talked SO MUCH about JJ stealing the money from Barry in 1x07 already (specifically here) but i just wanna rant about it a little bit more in comparison to the first jiara talk in 3x04.
so in 1x07, he steals the money and John B and the rest of the pogues are immediately trying to get him to rethink it, refusing to get into the twinkie with him and calling him out for his "crazy", impulsive shit. JJ tries his best to explain his reasoning, saying that they deserve some kind of reparations for the trauma of being held at gunpoint by Barry and also appealing directly to Pope by reminding him that he took the fall for him for Topper's boat. to me, this all reads as a desperate attempt to get the pogues to see that all that "crazy" stuff that he does is for them, at least in his mind. he's always trying to help them out and do right by them and perform these extravagant acts of service for them to prove that he's worth their love, but he doesn't know how to explain all of that, so he just goes on the defensive when things start going south in the conversation. and when it's clear to JJ that the pogues just don't get it (partially because how in the fuck is he supposed to explain it without also admitting how worthless and undeserving of love he feels), he walks away.
flash forward to 3x04, when JJ is starting to employ some of those same defense mechanisms from the 1x07 pogue fight in this conversation with Kiara. he has these blinders up again and is trying to protect himself by going on the defensive, ranting in fragments about how he has nothing and that Kie could never care about him and that she doesn't understand what it would take to even begin to help him, all of it building up to him finally calling her a kook, which is one of the few times that he actually goes on the offensive. and this is where we start to see the main difference between 1x07 and 3x04.
in 1x07, JJ felt cornered because of a lack of understanding, so he went on the defensive and ultimately isolated himself. but in 3x04, he felt cornered because of a wealth of understanding, so he resorted to the offensive, and once again ultimately ended up isolating himself.
JJ calling Kie a kook is the last ditch effort to get her to play into his self-sabotage. the defensive didn't work, dancing around the issue of her being from a different world didn't work, so now he's just gotta go for the killing blow and hope that she's the one to walk away so he doesn't have to do it first. he's purposefully trying to hit her where it hurts so that she'll blow up right back at him and realize that he's the piece of shit that he believes himself to be. and i think this reaction absolutely comes from Luke (as does the running away and the overall not believing that he's good enough thing, truly every bad trait of jj's can be traced back to that piece of shit i swear).
Luke is so good at fishing for people's insecurities and pushing until he gets a reaction (ie: 1x05 with JJ and 2x08 with Kie), so we can assume that that's where JJ learned this behavior from. of course, he's doing it in 3x04 more as a way to hurt and isolate himself, but let's not pretend like Kie isn't still very much collateral damage in JJ's own self-sabotage here. and of course, since JJ is actually a good human being unlike his father, we can see that he clearly regrets calling her a kook immediately after saying it. important differences there. when JJ is trying to use a trick from Luke cause his own tricks aren't working well enough, he can't stomach it.
and of course, that's only made worse when Kie still refuses to play along. she's not playing into his self-sabotage and giving him the reaction that he's trying to get out of her because she sees right through it all. she's being so gentle and understanding (while also still standing her ground and not letting him get away with calling her a kook btw what an actual icon), and it's so antithetical to everything he's grown up around.
she doesn't take the bait. not even a little bit. because she knows him. and so he runs. just like he did back in 1x07, but for the exact opposite reasoning.
Kie knows him too well, and i think for JJ, that's potentially even more terrifying than the pogues not understanding him enough back in 1x07. hence, taking a page from Luke's book and resorting to the offensive. not just walking away from Kie like he had walked away from the pogues before, but riding away on his bike. riding out to a pier and basically having a panic attack. everything about it is heightened compared to the 1x07 fight.
because being so vulnerable and so incredibly known by Kie, of all people??? his worst nightmare because it's also his greatest wish.
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duhragonball · 1 year
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Dragon Ball Super 015
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Finally, a good episode.
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Okay, let me start off by saying that I have occasionally defended the Flanderization of Videl in Dragon Ball Super, but now that I’m rewatching this show, I realize what people have been complaining about.  Every time we see Gohan and Videl on this show, they’re way too saccharine and dull. 
In Gohan’s case, I don’t mind it as much, since he’s been a nerd since Day One, and without an enemy to fight, he’s not going to suddenly rock the orange gi and kick ass like he does on all the promotional art for this series would like you to believe. 
But in Videl’s case, being a baby-maker is pretty much her entire role in this show.  At least 18 gets to tease Krillin and look for big cash payouts wherever possible.  Videl doesn’t get any of that here.  And my defense of this has always been that Videl’s character arc started with her as a teenage vigilante, but she doesn’t have to stay there, and she’s allowed to become something else over the course of the story.  But Dragon Ball Super never settles on what that something else is.  Gohan has his biology career, but what does Videl want outside of her home life?
The closest we’ve ever seen to a payoff for this was in the Super Hero movie, where they needed a reason for Piccolo to have to pick Pan up from school, and that meant Videl had to be busy with something else, something as important to her as Gohan’s studies are to him.  And that turned out to be a martial arts class that she teaches, which makes plenty of sense.  For some reason, I kept wanting to say it was a self-defense class, but she told Piccolo they were in a tournament that day, which sounds more advanced.  Then again, this is Videl we’re talking about, and I can imagine how she started out wanting to teach women basic self-defense skills, and it turned into this badass dojo getting into rivalries with other schools. 
I have a whole head canon about Videl’s school, but I don’t have time for that right now.  In DBS #15, she’s about to cook dinner, when Gohan makes a big deal about wanting to cook for her, only he’s really bad at it, and they both talk to her belly, which gets pretty cloying after a while.
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Meanwhile, Vegeta’s been standing on a mesa for several hours.  Days?  Long enough that dust has piled up on his boots.  How is this training?
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Meanwhile, Goku wants to go back to training on King Kai’s planet, but Chi-Chi refuses to let him go.  She’s already spent and saved all the money they got from Mr. Satan in Episode 1, and so she wants Goku to go back to his career as a farmer.  Even if they don’t need the money, she still wants him to be a regular working joe, especially now that he’s about to be a grandfather. 
I should point out that Cynthia Crantz’s performance as Chi-Chi gets a lot easier on the ears in this one.  Crantz has played Chi-Chi since way back in 1999, and she’s always been excellent, but she sounded like she was recovering from a cold in Episodes 1-14, and it feels like she got back in the groove around here. 
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But the real meat and bones of this episode is a press event held by YOUR World Champion of Martial Arts, Mister Satan.  During the Goku/Beerus fight, the public could feel shockwaves from the punches, and everyone wants to know what that was all about.  So Mr. Satan weaves a tall tale about how he rescued the world from a dangerous criminal syndicate, only to discover that they were secretly in league with...
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Beebus, the God of Destruction!  Naturally, Mr. Satan challenged this menace, but he wasn’t strong enough to defeat him, until...
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... Mr. Satan discovered a divine power of his own, and transformed into a god himself!  Fuck yeah!
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WELCOME TO EARTH, YOU BAT-EARED JERK!
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GET HIS ASS!
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YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!
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Then some aliens show up.  Turns out they somehow learned of the real Battle of Gods that took place on Earth, and they wanted to congratulate the hero who fought Beerus and lived to tell the tale.  Mr. Satan accepts the credit, but then the alien crew’s strongest warrior challenges Mr. Satan to a match.  According to the tradition on their planet (Planet Snack), he can’t properly honor Satan’s heroics until he’s experienced his power firsthand. 
So Mr. Satan uses the old stomach ache trick to excuse himself.  He calls Goku, Vegeta, and Gohan, hoping to find someone to fight in his place, but can’t reach any of them.  By the time he comes out of the restroom, everyone’s assembled a fighting stage, so he can’t back out.
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Then Goku flies along, carrying his tractor.  It broke down, and Bulma’s not in to fix it for him, so he’s just sort of been flying around town, hoping to find someone else to help him.  Satan offers to help him out, but first he wants Goku to take his place in this fight, and Goku’s down to clown, just as long as his wife doesn’t find out.
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Except his wife does find out, because she’s passing by this same area after grocery shopping with Piccolo.  Uh-oh.
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So Goku’s busted, and he asks Satan to punch him so he can pretend to get knocked away so no one will notice him flying.  But he has to grab his tractor on the way, so it looks really awkward and hilarious.  Also, this doesn’t fool Chi-Chi at all.  He might as well have fought the alien.  I mean, in for a penny...
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So now Mr. Satan is completely cornered, so he has no choice but to fight.  He psyches himself up, but as the alien strikes, he sees something that takes all the fight out of him...
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... which would be Mr. Satan’s dog, Bee, who had been waiting in the car, like a good boy.  Then he crawled out of the car window, like a good boy and walked up to the ring, like a good boy.  And now he’s frightening the aliens, like a good boy.  Bee is a good boy, is what I’m trying to say here.
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I guess the aliens were like cat people or something?  I mean, they kind of look like cats, but not enough for the joke to land, I think.  Then again, Beerus also looked like a cat, so maybe they had to adjust the design so these aliens wouldn’t be mistaken for Beerus.  Anyway they hate dogs, so they impose a quarantine on Earth.   There’s some lines that suggest they were planning to conquer Earth, but I don’t understand why they would even consider such a thing when the planet had just repelled Beerus.  Anyway, it’s full of dogs, so they’re not going back. 
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But they left behind the medal they presented to Mr. Satan, and Bee picks it up for him, like a good boy.  Every frame of Bee in Dragon Ball Super looks like it was drawn by someone who only saw a dog once in his entire life, and he’s trying to recreate the image from memory, and it looks awesome. 
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Meanwhile, Goku’s back at his house, but he doesn’t dare go inside to see his deformed son...
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... because Chi-Chi will shove this pole up his butt if she sees him.
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So now Goku has to sleep in the yard.  Is this some sort of kinky thing they do?  You be the judge.
And that’s it.  Let’s check out one more shot of Super Saiyan Mr. Satan before we go.
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Yeah, that’s the stuff.
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thearvariblues · 3 years
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Sing Me a Song
“You Geralt of Rivia’s bard?”
Jaskier looks up from his notepad and grins at the man who’s just sat at the opposite side of the table.
“Technically, I used to be,” the bard says, taking a sip of his ale. “We had a tiny misunderstanding last year. I’m sure he’s gonna be fine, though, I’m just giving him some time to cool down and wallow in self-pity.”
Jaskier frowns, because his brain has finally caught up with his mouth and informs him that even though the man who asked the question is very pretty (and he is – a bit short, but lean and clearly very agile, brown-skinned, with dark, wavy hair and stunningly unnatural green eyes), he also has got two big, scary swords strapped to his back, way too many scars and has, in fact, only one green eye, the other being covered by an eye patch, presumably missing.
And then there’s the Cat school medallion on his chest.
As Geralt would say… fuck.
“Unless you’re here to kidnap me and torture me to lure him into a trap. If that’s the case, I’ve never met a Geralt of Rivia in my life. Also, if you harm a hair on my head, he will hunt you down and kill you, very slowly and painfully. Just a heads up,” Jaskier smiles, utterly failing to sound at least a little bit threatening.
“Thanks for the warning,” the Witcher laughs. “But I actually need you to write me a song.”
“Sorry, I’m afraid this bard already has a Witcher to praise,” Jaskier protests, shaking his head firmly.
“Ugh. Who says I want praise?” the man says, making a face. “I just can’t seem to find a friend of mine, so I need to make him find me.”
“With a song? Do I look like a fucking pied piper?” Jaskier smirks.
“A little, yeah.”
“Fair enough. What’s in it for me?”
“What do you think is going to happen once Geralt hears that his bard has found himself a new muse?” the Witcher grins.
“Oh,” Jaskier says, chuckling. “Oh, but that’s good.”
“Are you in, then?”
“Absolutely. And, uhm… What did you say your name was?”
“By the gods, where are my manners?” the Witcher laughs. “I’m Aiden.”
*
Geralt places two tankards of ale on the table and sits down with a grunt.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting old, Wolf,” his brother Lambert smirks and promptly pulls one of the tankards closer. “Because that almost sounded like Vesemir when he’s trying to get up from his chair.”
“You’re so fucking funny,” Geralt murmurs.
“I know, right?” Lambert grins, tucking a strand of curly red hair behind his ear. “So, how’s life on the Path without your beloved bard?”
“Not my bard.”
“So pretty fucking terrible, eh?” Lambert chuckles.
“Fuck off, Lambert.”
“You’re being very nice and friendly today, you know?”
“I bought you a drink. So shut up and… drink.”
Lambert shrugs and for once does what he’s told. Within a few seconds, half of the tankard’s content vanishes.
“If it’s any consolation, life without my Cat is also pretty fucking unbearable,” he says then.
“Hm.”
“Oh, really, Geralt? You’re using your famous hm against me? Me, your brother?!”
Geralt groans.
“By the gods… Why can’t I just run into Eskel for once? Why does it always have to be you?”
“You’re just lucky, I guess.”
“Lucky. Yeah.”
Lambert rolls his eyes and focuses on his ale again – until the local bard grabs his lute and starts playing a slow, romantic ballad. Lambert growls.
“Fuck, I hate that song!”
“Why?” Geralt blinks, because he’s never heard the song before, and to be perfectly honest, it doesn’t really sound that bad.
“A brown-skinned woman with dark hair who’s seemingly killed, then comes back to life already plotting her revenge, only to find out that her lover’s already avenged her? Always reminds me of Aiden.”
“Aiden wasn’t exactly… A woman, was he?”
“He also hasn’t come back to life, as far as I know,” Lambert mutters.
“Who wrote it?” Geralt frowns, listening carefully. “It sounds like Jaskier’s work.”
“Some Master Dandelion. Never heard of him, but it seems he’s very popular now.”
“Hmmm…”
“Oh, not again!” Lambert groans.
“It just… It really does sound like Jaskier’s song.”
“You just fucking miss the bard, Geralt, that’s all.”
“No. No, I actually think…”
“That might be exactly the problem,” Lambert says and places his empty tankard back on the table. “The second round’s on me.”
*
“Seems like your plan’s not working as intended,” Jaskier comments. He’s spent weeks traveling with Aiden, and they still haven’t even heard about another Witcher trying to find them.
“I’m aware,” Aiden mutters, chewing his dinner without even noticing its taste – which is, honestly, probably for the best. “Could you be, like… less subtle?”
Jaskier shrugs.
“I suppose.”
“Fine,” Aiden nods. “Do it.”
*
“It’s a man now,” Geralt frowns, listening to the song he’s heard countless times already. “That’s new.”
“Looks like Master Dandelion might like to, uhm, dual wield,” Lambert snorts.
“It still sounds like Jaskier’s work.”
“Does Jaskier like to dual wield?”
“Hmm,” Geralt says dreamily.
“All the more reason to apologize, then, eh?”
“Oh, shut up, Lambert…”
*
“Still not working!” Aiden groans. He’s been waiting for three months for his Wolf to find him, and to no avail.
“I could, you know… Try something more obvious,” Jaskier offers.
“Please.”
*
“It’s a cat now,” Geralt blinks. “Dark-skinned, dark-haired… cat.”
Lambert sighs.
“Yeah, I hate those fucking metaphors.”
*
“I’m starting to think I should have just… kept trying to find him,” Aiden sighs, staring out of the tavern’s window.
Jaskier, cheeks still flushed from his performance, downs his ale and shakes his head.
“Don’t give up hope just yet,” he says. “I’ve already made a few changes to the song.”
“Oh, have you?” Aiden smirks. “Does it now say Lambert, I’m alive you moron, stop hiding and fucking find me?”
“Well, not yet… But almost.”
“Great. I can’t wait to hear it.”
*
Lambert is staring at yet another local bard singing the fucking ballad. He doesn’t even blink. Geralt is getting a little worried that his brother’s brain might have actually exploded.
“It says a Cat Witcher now,” he says, hoping it would get a reaction out of Lambert.
The redhead finally blinks. That’s probably good.
“A Cat Witcher who comes back to life only to find out his Wolf lover has already avenged him,” Geralt adds.
Lambert blinks again.
“And you know, I’m almost sure that this Master Dandelion is just Jaskier’s new alias.”
“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Lambert mutters when the song finally comes to its end.
“Which one of them?” Geralt smirks.
“Both of them!” Lambert growls. “I swear to gods, if I find out your stupid bard stole my Cat…”
“Excuse me, madam,” Geralt says to the innkeeper who’s just brought them their dinner. “Where did your bard learn this song?”
“That sappy ballad?” the innkeeper frowns. “From this Master Dandelion himself. He passed through the town last week with a Witcher.”
“And Master Dandelion…”
“You know the bard that calls himself Jaskier? It’s him with a fancy hat on,” she smirks.
“About this Witcher,” Lambert growls. “Does he look like in the song?”
“Pretty much, yeah. Kind of small for a Witcher, and almost too pretty, you know, but we had a little griffin problem and he slayed that beast like it was nothing, so…”
“I’m so gonna kill them both,” Lambert murmurs while Geralt has to try very hard not to chuckle.
“Would you happen to know where were they heading?” he asks.
“I would,” the woman says and looks at the Witcher expectantly.
“I see,” Geralt sighs. “You have another monster problem, don’t you?”
“Well. It turns out the griffin probably had a mate…”
“Of course it fucking did,” Geralt nods and picks up his fork. He simply refuses to deal with this with an empty stomach…
*
Jaskier critically eyes the clothes he’s picked for tonight’s performance.
“What do you think, Aiden?” he asks his companion. “Isn’t the purple a bit too much? It’s a small town, after all. Wouldn’t the steel blue look better?”
“I don’t know, I like the red one best,” Aiden shrugs from his spot on the bed.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Reminds you of Lambert’s hair,” Jaskier says, rolling his eyes. “Melitele’s tits, I wish he’d find us already, because this is getting really–”
As if on cue, the door of the room slams open and a big, red-haired man walks in.
“You fucking bitch!” he yells when he sees Aiden.
The dark-haired Witcher beams and gets to his feet.
“Lambs!”
“Oh. Okay. That was fast,” Jaskier nods.
Lambert growls and grabs Aiden by the collar.
“Asshole!” he hisses. “I fucking mourned you!”
“Oh, honey, that’s so sweet,” Aiden smiles.
Lambert pushes him against the wall, so hard that Aiden grunts.
“I cried for you!”
“In my defense, it wasn’t exactly my fault,” Aiden smiles.
Jaskier inches towards the door.
“I guess I’ll just… leave you two to it.”
Needless to say, Lambert ignores him completely.
“I fucking avenged you!”
“Yes, that was very kind of you,” Aiden grins, utterly unaffected by Lambert’s angry face so close to his own. “You saved me a lot of trouble.”
Lambert groans, buries his face in Aiden’s shoulder and sighs deeply.
“You fucker,” he mutters.
“Yeah, I missed you too, puppy,” Aiden smiles, wrapping his arms around Lambert.
Jaskier, who’s already standing in the doorway, places his hand on his heart and takes a deep breath.
“Oh,” he whispers. “I shall write the most beautiful ballad about this… Ow!”
He’s unceremoniously dragged out of the room and this time it’s his turned to be slammed against the wall by a big, angry Witcher – but this one is white-haired and dressed all in black.
“Geralt!” Jaskier exclaims, his face brightening up.
“You won’t write a fucking thing,” Geralt growls.
“Is that so? May I ask why, dear heart?”
“Because you’re mine. My bard. And if I ever find out you’re writing about another Witcher again–”
“Then what?” Jaskier asks, cocking his head. “But before you answer, I’d like to remind you that I am not yours anymore, as you have made it quite clear on the mountain that you are not interested in having me as a companion–”
Jaskier is effectively shut up by Geralt’s lips pressing against his with determination that makes it absolutely clear that Geralt hasn’t merely lost his balance and happened to be falling in Jaskier’s general direction.
“Mine,” he growls.
“Well,” Jaskier sighs, slipping his fingers into Geralt’s hair. “When you put it like that… Fuck the mountain, I suppose.”
“Fuck the mountain,” Geralt agrees. “But I’m sorry. For what I said.”
“Apology very much accepted,” Jaskier laughs. “I’d ask you to fuck me, but I’m afraid my room is currently… occupied.”
Lambert’s loud moan only confirms Jaskier’s statement.
“Hm,” Geralt hums. “Do you think this tavern has a bath? I think I still have some griffin blood in my hair from last week.”
“Oh,” Jaskier purrs. “Oh, yes. And I’m sure I could get some chamomile oil…”
They hear another moan, this time Aiden’s.
“What are we waiting for, then?” Geralt grins and grabs Jaskier’s hand. “Come on, bard. We have some catching up to do…”
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melo-yello · 3 years
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📚School Struggles📚 w/ 💥🪨KiriBaku💥🪨 HeadCanons
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Pairings: KiriBaku X Black!Reader
Summary: College AU! Reader falls behind in course work, and won’t tell anybody. But Kirishima and Bakugou find out.
A/n: I’m an adult who went most of my life with undiagnosed learning disabilities so this would just be comforting to me. Lil angst! Lots of fluff. Implied ADHD and Dyslexia.
📕🖊 First tests are handed back in four of your eight classes.You’ve failed all but one which you barely passed. You are asked stay back as yet another professor suggests you find a tutor
📕🖊You’re lowkey offended. You’ve never needed a tutor before. Up until recently your performance in other areas compensated for your less than stellar academics. You were in gifted courses all your life. You would just hafta try harder
📕🖊 Kiri and Baku are saving a spot in line for you by the time you meet them at the cafe when you shove the thoughts of failure out of your brain and perk up to your usual self
📕🖊 Kiri’s face lights up as soon as he spots you. “Over here, Babe!” He beams flagging you down. Like it was hard to make out the giant red head in a crowd. Especially with the large lean, continuously pissed blonde scowling at everyone right by his side.
📕🖊 “Hey,Dumbass.” Baku smiles slightly and pulls a hand from his pocket to offer you a hug and a kiss on the temple
📕🖊 Kiri pulls you by your waist into his torso kissing your forehead “What took you so long?” He asks letting you free from the vice grip he had on your curvy hips
📕🖊 “I got a lil turned around again.” You lie pulling Bakugou’s free hand into yours then lean into his shoulder. There’s something very comforting about how warm he is all the time. You wanted to snuggle into his back but PDA really isn’t his thing and you are already pushing it
📕🖊 “It’s a big campus, Teddy, you just have to get used to it. You just transferred. Me and Eiji can take turns walking you from class to class until you get the hang of it, you know?” Baku says trying to read your eyes. He could just feel something is off. Your box braids and the angle itself saves you from any further scrutiny.
📕🖊“You guys, gotta be pretty sprung to do that for me, ya know.” You quip smirking up at him then over to Kiri. “Fuck you too, Teddy Bear.” Baku huffs smirking *maybe he was wrong, unlikely* “Yea basically, Pebs. Liking who you date is super manly.” Kirishima laughs grabbing his tray.
📕🖊 You three finally sit in a small wrap around booth. Bakugou taking the middle spot today. You do your best to not zone out and hyper fixate on your test scores by making sure to laugh at Kiri’s jokes and nod along with Baku’s venting
📕🖊 You slide your fork in and out of your picked over food as you strategize how to fix your current problem without alerting your boyfriends. Before you knew it your table is quiet with two crimson gazes fixed on you
📕🖊 “You’re quiet today, L/n.” Bakugou says fixing you with a deeply fierce gaze which was his way of looking concerned. Sharpness of your actual name drew you from your thoughts in a instant. “Hmmm I think Kats has a point, L/n Y/n.” Kirishima says in between slurps of his smoothie. His red eyes practically dripping with curious concern
📕🖊 You make a quick split decision between the truth and charm. “Wow, my government. I must be in real big trouble.” You pout trying to flirt your way out of a more serious conversation. You poke out your plush bottom at Kiri while slipping a hand onto Baku’s inner thigh and gently squeezing before hitting him with the same seductive pout
📕🖊 Big Mistake!😳 Bakugou’s vermillion eyes widen before becoming instantly stern as he grips your wrist tight enough to hurt. “The fuck are you doing?!! I was being serious, Y/n! And in public?!! You’re fucking priceless!” The ash blonde hisses with angry pink cheeks. Guilt washes over you when you snatch your wrist back. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to...talk about it.” You mumble. “Then use your fucking words!” 😤 Bakugou kisses his teeth and stands so Kiri lets him out. “He’s just a little embarrassed, Pebble. I needa talk him down. You can find your next class right?” He sighs watching Baku storm out
📕🖊 “Yea. I’m sorry. Tell him, Kiri. Please.” You squeak sheepishly grabbing your stuff. “He knows but I will. He’s mad about other stuff.” He nods following after Bakugou
📕🖊 It’s intimidating to compete with their history at times. You couldn’t bring yourself to just dump all your issues on them
📕🖊 You’ve only been dating since summer and Kiri and Baku have been dating since their senior year in high school year. You guys are starting your junior year and are still learning each other.
📕🖊 You get lost a couple times before finding the right building. The noise in your head going nearly at light speed to wrap all the problems you’re having. The professor passes the test you’d spent majority of last night and early morning studying for. You felt confident until it was in your hands.
📕🖊 You chew the pen top trying to finish up the last 7 short answer questions when then alarm for 5 minutes left is given. You panic not even having started the true false section on the last page. You scribble down answers just as time up is announced across the classroom
📕🖊 Defeat washes over while you shuffle out the door. You reach in your pocket to dig out the card for Student Accomidation Services your World Civ professor gave you. Maybe this was something simple as a “processing problem” as she had explained when you visited her during office hours
📕🖊 A throat clearing pulls you from your thoughts. You jump stuffing both hands into your jeans card and all. Bakugou stood unreadable propped up on a wall only a few steps away from you. “Eiji, thinks we need to talk about the cafe. Plus he doesn’t get out of lab til 3:45, so you’re kinda stuck with me.” Bakugou mumbles offering his palm as an olive branch.
📕🖊 “He’s probably right. I don’t mind just you, Tuff Guy. I really am sorry though, Katsuki.” You sigh interlocking your fingers with his. “I know, Teddy. I wasn’t really mad about that anyways.” Baku concedes as you two stroll down the hall. “I didn’t hurt your wrist earlier, did I?” Baku asks softly opening the door and meeting your eyes with gentle concern. “Nah, You didn’t, King Explosion Murder.” You laugh giving his hand a firm squeeze before kissing it
📕🖊 The walk to your dorm is quiet and peaceful. He lets you settle your school bag before speaking again “I just feel like you’re still trying to hide parts of yourself from us, especially me,” He says looking into your eyes now, “Like you’ve been pulling back. Eijirou thinks I’m looking too deep, but I doubt it. I know I can be a little rough and mean sometimes...well a lot of the times. I’m not easy to get along with. But you know you can talk to us when you’re upset or if something bothering you... if I’m bothering you. I don’t like you feeling like you have to pretend to be ok if you’re not.” Baku finishes crossing his arms tightly across your chest.
📕🖊 You dig your nails into your palms mercilessly. You open your mouth to reply and reassure him but the words won’t come. Baku notices what you’re doing to your hands and steps closer to take them into his. He rubs slow circles into the backs of them. Hot tears pool at the corners of your eyes as you try to find your voice. “Kats, I’m...I didn’t me...I...Of course you’re not what’s bothering me.” you croak out just as tears roll down your face and Baku pulls you to his chest.
📕🖊 Your breathing hitches and you just let yourself be disappointed, confused, frustrated, and upset about the last month and a half of struggling and wondering why you couldn’t tell anybody and why no one was even noticing. But He did. Baku had noticed. He rocks gently as you tremble in his arms rubbing firm circles in your lower back.
📕🖊 You two stay like that for what seems forever. Once your breathing evens out Baku’s hold relaxes. He kisses both your temples.You reluctantly let go , so you can pull wrinkled failing test pages from your backpack. “Please don’t laugh at me, Suki.” You peep placing the cause of your meltdown in his hands not attempting to have your puffy eyes met his red ones. Lifting your chin so you’re looking him in the eyes. “Come on, Teddy Bear. I wouldn’t dare.” He nods with the most serious face
📕🖊 Bakugou is quiet for a while as he leafs through the exam papers. “Why didn’t finish any of them?” He asks “Time. I’m a slow reader.” You mutter back. “I’ve seen you doing homework for two of these courses and passing those, what’s happening?” Baku says staring in disbelief at the scores at the top of each exam.
📕🖊 You swallow the lingering fear of judgement. You place a hand at your temple to remind yourself of Baku’s earlier tenderness. “I get anxious. It gets so much harder to read when I’m that worked up, and I can barely focus once I start forgetting answers...I know it’s just a test. I guess...That sounds dumb, doesn’t it?” You sigh shrug off your own explanation.
📕🖊 “Nope. Not dumb at all. Sounds like test anxiety to me. I struggled with that in high school . I didn’t know you were a slow reader, Teddy.” Baku says pulling your hand before you can dig your nails into it. “Yea. One of my professors thinks I have dyslexia and ADHD...but I’m not stupid sooo.” You hum rocking on your heels “That is not what either of those words mean, and I know you know that, L/n.” Bakugou growls he absolutely hates when you or Kirishima talk down on yourselves. “Yea but it feels like it though.” You sigh biting your lips
📕🖊 Before Baku can say a word, Kiri swings the door open. “Babes! Have you two hotties missed me?” The red head shouts coming through the door way smiling until he sees your puffy eyes and tense posture. “Bakugou Katsuki, I know you fucking didn’t?!!” Kiri questions suspiciously leaning down to rest his chin on your shoulder and wrapping a protective hold around your waist.
📕🖊 “The Absolute fuc-” Baku’s defensive rant is cut short as you kiss the hand holding yours to quiet him as you answer Kiri “No Eiji, he didn’t. I’m flunking like half my classes.” You huff meeting his eyes with quivering lips trying your best not to cry all over again
📕🖊 Kiri is stunted into complete silence. The only thing he can think to say is an apology to his boyfriend for jumping to conclusions. Last time he checked your GPA’s a lot more impressive that his. “How the fuck is that even possible? You transferred into the honor courses.” Kiri says completely baffled moving to where he could see your face.
📕🖊 You explain to your boyfriends all the things that have been tripping you up and confusing you. You detail how hard studying has been as far as staying focused and actually understanding lengthy test questions
📕🖊 Kiri has a million questions at first but stops half way through after Baku grabs your overnight bag and leads you out the door. “You’re gonna freak her out all over again, Shitty Hair, if you keep going at her like that.” He could tell you were getting overwhelmed, and might cry again “My bad, Pebs.” Kiri says kissing your cheek as he follows behind
📕🖊 Once you get back to their apartment and Baku askes for your help making dinner. He has you read the directions and ingredients to him. You stumble through most of it, but that doesn’t stop him from praising you as soon as you finish. He has since learned you and Kiri do best when told how well you’re doing vs his typical shouting method
📕🖊 The three of you set an assessment time with the Student Disability Services on campus that doesn’t conflict with the Boys’ schedules, because they insisted that they’d both be there to support their baby and wouldn’t take your bullshit excuses for an actual reason to miss it
📕🖊 Kiri helps you make flash cards for your next test. If he remembers nothing else from Baku’s tutoring sessions the importance of repetition is drilled into him...among other things. Each time you ask him how that went he’ll just shudder. “It was the most intensely terrifying experience of my high school career, and we fought villains pretty regularly.” Kiri deadpans before grinning like the Cheshire Cat and covering his head. “You’re full of fucking shit, Shark Week! I’m the best tutor you assholes could hope for.” Baku yells pushing Kiri’s face into his pages of notes.
📕🖊 The night before your disability assessment you find yourself tossing and turning at like 4:45 in the morning. Kiri repositions pinning you in place so you face Baku’s back. You trace soft shapes into him just before he flips meeting your eyes. “Lil early isn’t it, Babygirl?” He whispers brushing away a few stray box braids covering your face. You don’t bother answering and instead offer him your palm and he takes it without hesitation interlocking your fingers with his. “Nervous?” He hums when he feels the steady trembling of your hand.
📕🖊 “Katsuki, what if there’s nothing wrong with me? What if it’s just me? What if I’m just...” you trail off not sure if you want him to hear how much this subject shakes your confidence. Bakugou moves close enough for your foreheads to touch. “If you’re just not smart? Not even possible. Whatever it is me and Kiri will help you go beyond. I know this is scary, but every first usually is.” Bakugou smiles softly
📕🖊 “Bbbbbuuut maybe I’m just du-” You attempt to argue until a sharp nip on the side of your neck where Kiri was peacefully nuzzled quiets you. “Nope. Not a chance. Pebble, don’t talk shit about my girlfriend again.” He mumbles in a gravelly half sleep voice. He settles again and snakes an arm around hips as he tugs Baku into you with the other. You open mouth your more to defend yourself but KatSuki just bops your nose as he closes his eyes, “You heard, the sexy ass red mountain. You’re fucking smart. Go back to sleep, Kay?”
📕🖊 “Kay.” You sigh digging your face into the crook of Baku’s neck. You lay there out argued but feeling overwhelming loved, so you chose to let them win the debate. The boys hardly agree on most things so they were totally probably right about this one anyways.
📕🖊 You are on a very very short list of people who Bakugou Katsuki repeats himself for. Like boy lets you “huh?” the fuck out of him. He will often cup your face or hold your hands if he needs tell you something important b/c he understands you’re a tactical learner
📕🖊 Best believe that all your future successes in classes big and small will be celebrated you getting taken out for icecream and if it’s a graded paper they’ll put on the fridge like you’re in grade school. You find it a little embarrassing but it really makes you feel like you’re making progress
📕🖊 Kiri brings your favorite snacks for study sessions so he can reward you for right answers and staying on task. You call it “childish” at first until he shrugs “Oh my bad we can try something els-” about to put them away. “Noooooo no those are my favorites.” You nearly jump over the table. Kiri has a shit eating grin the rest of the study session
📕🖊 When giving directions from the passenger seat both Kiri and Baku typically do a good job of remembering you need them to point left and right
📕🖊 If you’ve had long day in tutoring and homework and you guys are watching anime Bakugou will read the subs to you. Sometimes if he’s in a particularly good mood he might even imitate a voice or two
📕🖊 Kiri would politely let you ramble about one of your niche interests and will help you get back to your point when you get lost in a tangent
📕🖊 Don’t let these two hear you call yourself “dumb” or “stupid” Kiri will just act like he can’t comprehend what you’re saying like deadass “Pebs, speak English please. Nope not catching that, Babygirl. Did you say you were a smarticle particle? An intelligent ass motherfucker?! Oh, of course you are!” While Baku is more like “Sorry what was that? I thought I heard a very accomplished and creative thinking ass bitch say something? A incredibly capable ass bitch say something?A smart ass bitch say something?” Your only response is yes and then you get a forehead kiss
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Sometimes you just have a really intense week and can’t stop thinking about how much trauma Lan Sizhui experienced by the time he was 5 and how being the Very Best Boy isn’t always healthy and then you need to write Lan Wangji the child psychologist and his incredibly anxious foster-son, y’know?
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Bunny is on time-out again.
"You have to behave,” A-Yuan says in the voice of the potato-head, packing accessories into its body and shoving it into the bed of a soft plastic truck. “You get in the car now.” The Barbie van is already full, with a dinosaur and a fingerpuppet and one of the new larger Lego figures, and all their carefully packed luggage. A-Yuan does that. Over and over again, for each of his toys, he methodically packs and unpacks luggage. It’s his most common form of play, but not the most enjoyable.
A-Yuan’s breathing is rapid and shallow, so much so that he takes little gasps when he talks to himself. Routinely, predictably, he’s calmer when he turns away from the dollhouse. He’s most collected when selecting items to put into luggage, deciding on pieces of felt and Barbie shoes, but even with the vehicles he can lose himself enjoying the movement and progress of the cars. But underneath it all, there’s a jerkiness to his movements and a certain disconnected quality in his speech and body language that tells Lan Wangji that he’s pretty distressed.
It’s a step forward that Bunny is out at all, Lan Wangji knows. A behaviour therapist at A-Yuan’s last preschool made it a point to extinguish comfort-seeking behaviour towards the toy, which was becoming both careworn and grubby. A-Yuan’s had it at least since he was fourteen months old; it was with him when he came into care. Maybe his birth mother gave it to him. A-Yuan has obediently derogated the toy; if it’s left lying out, he can usually be trusted to throw it into a corner to prove what a big, grown-up boy he is.
Lan Wangji has very carefully gauged his son’s limits of tolerance for some things. When the car ride begins, he waves slightly and says, “Have a nice trip,” which makes A-Yuan glance back at him nervously, but it’s just mild enough, just unemotional enough, just tolerable enough, that it doesn’t provoke too much emotion. A-Yuan can keep pushing his vehicles around, and feel safe enough to drive one into Lan Wangji’s foot. He doesn’t persevere at that point, though; the trip has culminated and he gets up and walks to where he can see down the hallway to the front door, then wanders over to the slide.
A hundred million years ago, Lan Wangji thought he’d be a genetics researcher, like his uncle. Then he thought he’d be a neuroscientist, like his undergraduate thesis advisor. Then he thought he’d be a psychologist like his brother, who focuses entirely on assessment and the development of psychometric tools. For a little bit in grad school, he thought he’d counsel adults, like Wei Wuxian, until a classmate told Wei Wuxian that Dialectical Behavioural Therapy was “objectively badass” and he developed a fixation Lan Wangji could not follow. In retrospect his career path is absolutely obvious, resonating clearly through every bone of him, but it took him a very long time to realize he ought to work with children. It’s a little shocking that he, who was so bad at being a child, feels so prepared to be a father.
He smiles when A-Yuan looks at him anxiously from the slide, the moment of uncertainty as he lets go and begins sliding down triggering the need for reassurance. Lan Wangji is always waiting for that glance, waiting to return it. At A-Yuan’s last placement he’d been assessed as having an avoidant/dismissing attachment style, and despite its uncharitable and parent-shaming nature Lan Wangji can’t help but agree with what his husband had muttered over that one: “Were the parents even trying?”
The most vital task, and the hardest, is being present in the moment with a child. Not worrying about the future, not concerned with the past, not preoccupied with an external standard. He’s surprisingly bad at performing objective assessments with children, because he can see how unfair they all are. His greatest facility is something he built for himself, brick by painstaking brick: the willingness to sit with discomfort, and have faith that the chaos will not remain chaos. All his years of meditation have cultivated a still eye to see the world from, and the faith that patience and compassion will see him through.
Still smiling, still watching A-Yuan, Lan Wangji moves closer to the dollhouse. He carefully stars arranging its contents, righting knocked-over furniture and returning blankets to little wooden beds. He takes out a shark figurine, a couple of doll clothes, then puts Bunny on the floor near his shin. When A-Yuan comes close, magnetically drawn away from the slide, Lan Wangji reaches behind himself for the tea set they were using earlier, arranging cups and plates in front of him as though they’re going to have another tea party. He leaves the placement of the cups ambiguous; it’s not like Bunny is specifically invited, but there is a suggestive proximity, the way the other cup is in proximity to the shark. A-Yuan takes the teapot, and Lan Wangji solemnly holds his cup out while A-Yuan pours. For the sake of the ritual he accepts milk and refuses sugar and mimes stirring his invisible ingredients before taking a sip.
When A-Yuan is done drinking, Lan Wangji turns to Bunny, lifting a cup, and asks, “Would you like some tea?” A-Yuan noticed the moment that Lan Wangji’s hand moves, but as he addresses the rabbit A-Yuan seems to lose interest, which is to say, he slightly dissociates; blink and you missed it, but his eyes go a little glassy, he looks away, and then he acts on the adrenaline and gets up and wanders away.
The current theory about Bunny is like the theory of gravity, which is to say, it’s definitely pretty certain but it never hurts to be humble when it comes to knowledge. It’s honestly a little more speculative and psychodynamic than Lan Wangji is truly comfortable with, and A-Yuan’s case manager, possibly a little defensive over the last preschool placement, absolutely refuses to consider the possibility. But it still feels as essential and true as which way is up that Bunny performs the vital task of holding all the parts of A-Yuan that he blames for making the adults he cares about disappear. Bunny holds both the neediness and the hope for comfort that were so painful, his son shut them down in order to survive. Bunny was how A-Yuan mediated that desire, the source of his comfort, until he was three and a half, and the behaviour therapist.
A-Yuan knew his foster parents didn’t like him being disorganized and distressed and clingy, that they’d rather he behaved more like a six-year-old than four. Which he could, sometimes, because he had a ferocious intelligence which put him cognitively ahead of his emotional development. But he, well... adapted a little too quickly, one might say. Learned his lesson a little too well. Now they’re trying to reignite the behaviours that were extinguished.
Lan Wangji takes a risk, while A-Yuan is pulling picture books off the lower shelf, and lifts Bunny to his shoulder like a colicky infant. He doesn’t do anything else, aside from stroking the rabbit’s fur. He leaves it in place, with a little guiding help from his hand, when A-Yuan brings a Franklin book over and climbs into his lap, demanding to be read to. With interest he notes, halfway through the story, that Lan Wangji holding and petting Bunny doesn’t distress A-Yuan; as the story arc gets as exciting as Franklin books ever do (which is not, to be clear, a criticism) A-Yuan turns in his arms long enough to distractedly reach up and pet Bunny too, before turning back and trying to grab the book for himself.
Wondering how far he can push this, he keeps Bunny in place on his shoulder when they leave the room to check the clock, and A-Yuan goes to the living-room window to watch the street for Wei Wuxian. He looks curiously when Lan Wangji leans down to dig the remote out between the couch cushions, but easily redirects when Lan Wangji turns on the TV and goes to prepare dinner. Having the show on limits his anxious glances out the window to three or four a minute only, instead of sustained attention followed by a meltdown if he had to wait more than five minutes.
Lan Wangji thinks it would be easier to keep Bunny in place, on his shoulder like a dishtowel, if he had weighted plastic beads in his extremities, or if he was velcroed. He’s wary of changing anything about such a strong comfort object, though, so he just learns to move and stand differently to keep the rabbit from constantly falling off.
A-Yuan greets Wei Wuxian with the kind of terrified delight that looks like general indifference if you don’t know better; he runs over, stands uncertainly within arm’s reach of Wei Wuxian’s legs, and then dodges away before Wei Wuxian can reach down to him. Lan Wangji helpfully muted the show when he heard the door open--it gives A-Yuan the space to sit with his back to the room and self-regulate while the adults say hello.
“New friend?” his husband asks finally, an eyebrow raised.
“Modelling it as appropriate,” Lan Wangji says. “I thought perhaps he could tolerate us demonstrating that it is not discouraged.”
“Nice rabbit, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says seamlessly, in a voice meant to be heard from the couch. “I like it. Makes me wish I had a rabbit.”
“They are very good friends,” Lan Wangji agrees. “This one is not mine, but he is keeping me company.”
“Nice,” Wei Wuxian agrees. “Maybe whoever you borrowed him from will let him hang out with me sometime.”
Their audience does not comment on this, but they didn’t need him to. Wei Wuxian sets the table while Lan Wangji cooks. A-Yuan’s palate is still pretty limited, so he’s used to making three separate elements of one meal, and can live with cutting up cooked hot dog into little coins so long as he doesn’t have to eat them himself. They just supplement their kid’s diet with a multivitamin.
A-Yuan looks askance enough, when dinner is ready, that Lan Wangji takes Bunny off his shoulder and asks, “Where should he sit while we eat?”
There is a fourth chair, albeit completely out of proportion, but he doesn’t dare try it. Instead A-Yuan thinks for a minute, and points to the kitchen counter behind the table. Lan Wangji props Bunny up against the wall, observing dinner if not participating, and after a second to think, A-Yuan accepts this as normal and climbs into his chair. He is meticulously well-behaved.
Lan Wangji aches for his son, and hopes one day he’ll feel confident enough in their love to break the rules around them.
They eat.
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wintermelonbear · 3 years
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Artistry
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Pairing: Damian Al-Ghul Wayne/Marinette Dupain-Cheng
Trope/s: Childhood Friends, No Powers AU
Summary: A story in which two seemingly dissimilar eight-year-olds build bonds through their love for martial arts. Written for the MGI Trope Tussle 2021.
Words: 4808
Damian and Marinette first met when they were 8 at his mother’s Wushu studio. At first glance they were an unlikely duo, before meeting in martial arts class their social circles ran entirely parallel with one another with Damian attending a private school that was a feeder for Gotham academy and Marinette attending a public elementary local to her, but they truly brought out the best in each other.
Damian had grown up inside his mother’s studio, working day in and day out from the tender age of 3 to improve his weaponry and martial arts skill. His mother and father, divorced but trying their best to co-parent for his sake, each preached to him about the importance of self-discipline and concentration. When his mother and her father, Ras himself a master martial artist, had competed in Wushu they were national champions. As a third-generation practitioner of Wushu, Damian had a lot riding on his shoulders.
Marinette’s mother had practiced Wushu as a child in China. When she first arrived in France she found herself disappointed that there were no local Chinese martial arts centers, let alone Wushu training centers. Sabine always thought it would be a passion she could pass down to her future child, but there was only so much she could teach on her own. However, as fate would have it, after a falling out with Tom’s father Roland the Dupain-Chengs found themselves in a city not too far from Gotham, New Jersey. Sabine was pleasantly surprised to find that the martial arts scene was much more alive there than it had been in Paris. However, between the bakery and her young daughter Sabine had little time to spend practicing martial arts. It wasn’t until Marinette’s kindergarten teacher suggested that Marinette be enrolled in a sport to better her hand-eye coordination that Sabine finally put her daughter into formal martial arts courses.
At first, everything was fine until it became apparent that Marinette was progressing much faster than her peers, despite her typical clumsiness she was surprisingly adept at martial arts. Sabine wasn’t entirely surprised as while Wushu was difficult to teach within the confined space they had at home, she still took the time to practice Tai Chi with her daughter on the weekends, providing Marinette with martial arts fundamentals and self-discipline. With Marinette’s slight inclination for martial arts paired with her hard work she was outperforming her classmates and even some of the older kids at the studio she went to. Eventually, Marinette found herself ostracized by her peers, but her teachers at the studio refused to advance her because they had an in-house rule where children could not be advanced more than two years past their age group. Tom and Sabine knew that pulling Marinette out of the sport entirely was off the table, the pure joy that spread across her face every time she mastered a new trick was proof enough that she was in love with the sport. So they set off to find a new studio to train at, where Marinette’s needs as a budding martial artist would be met. After looking around for a while, they decided to give Talia’s Wushu academy a try despite it being a little over a 30-minute drive from their house.
In regards to the first year of their friendship, Marinette would describe it as very professional, and almost nothing more. It took a while for Damian to become more cordial with her. When asked, Marinette would say “Damian didn’t like me, but he tolerated me enough as a partner because there was only so much practice he could have done alone.”
At first, Damian did not like Marinette at all, in fact, maybe he even hated her. When he first met her, Damian thought she was like every other “talented” kid that came into his mother’s studio, only to realize talent alone would get you nowhere in the sport of Wushu. On her first day, she immediately took up the spot next to him at the front and center of the class and offered him a warm smile, “Hello my name is Marinette, I’m new here.” Damian returned her greeting with a harsh tut of his tongue and the turn of his head, he was there to train, not to make friends. Marinette’s expression was aghast, but she quickly recovered and mumbled a soft “okay not talkative then…this is going great….” Damian suppressed an eye roll, simply because he knew his mother would not tolerate that in her classroom.
Against every one of Damian’s expectations, Marinette proved herself to be a hard-working individual. Eventually, after seeing her work on her technique and tricks after class during open gym hours, seeing that she wasn’t relying purely on natural ability and truly was putting in the effort to become a better martial artist, he began to tolerate her. The first time he returned her daily “Hello” with the nod of his head Marinette’s facial expression went from neutral to shocked to absolutely beaming. Damian simply raised his eyebrow and continued with his pre-class warmup.
Over time Marinette had grown a deep respect for Damian; she wished he was a bit friendlier, but despite their rough start Marinette realized early on that, while gruff and unfriendly, Damian was kind in his own way. He always pointed out when someone’s technique was wrong so that they wouldn’t hurt themselves, he always helped bandage someone up when they were hurt, and he always stayed after class to help his mom clean up. Most people would think he did it out of obligation or his mother’s demands, but Marinette loves people watching, and even after just a few months Marinette has observed that Talia would rather Damian use the time to better himself and will insist that she, or one of their workers, handle the menial tasks.
It was not until Damian saw Marinette work through her struggles that he gained respect for her. While Wushu is a largely performative sport where everyone’s moves are choreographed, Talia wanted to ensure everyone was also learning basic self-defense resulting in regularly held sparring sessions at the end of class. Marinette was a great performer, she was highly expressive and could easily recall choreography, but she had minimal exposure to actual sparring and her reflexes were not as sharp and trained like the others. She managed to win against her opponents in the first few classes by utilizing her creativity, but eventually, her lack of experience caught up with her and in her third month at the studio, she began her losing streak. Looking at her lose to her opponents time and time again he couldn’t help but wonder to himself, “will you still be here tomorrow?” Growing up in the studio, Damian knew that most of the people who were considered to be “gifted” had a tendency to drop out the moment things no longer came naturally to them, they grew frustrated with themselves and then with the sport. At this point, he figured he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instead, the stage was set for her to become the most prevalent figure in his life.
Despite being in the same classes for over 3 months Damian and Marinette had never sparred. It was actually quite odd that they hadn’t yet sparred, the pairings for the most part were random. Talia reasoned that with the right circumstances even someone who seems weak could win; it was important to never underestimate an opponent and lower your guard. After bowing to one another their eyes met. If you asked them as adults they would unabashedly say that they love the other’s eyes, it was like staring at the calm before a storm. Their eyes were clear, fierce, and piercing. Despite being clearly disadvantaged Marinette showed no fear. She met his first few strikes blow for blow and even managed to evade a few of his strikes with a few unique tumbling passes – something Damian noted that she excelled in. He could tell she has been studying him, observing his strike patterns from his previous matches. Rather than reacting to his strikes, she was anticipating them – a smart move considering her reflexes were lacking. Unfortunately for Marinette, this meant that one unanticipated fake was all it took to defeat her.
That night during open gym hours Marinette approached Damian on her own for the first time. “There is only so much I can practice on my own, please train with me.”
“Why would I do that?” Damian held his face firm, his mouth in a thin line and his eyebrow slightly quirked.
Marinette’s eyes steeled over with conviction. “Did you know that every time you get up from xie bu you duck your chin down in your struggle to regain balance? It’s obvious you’re trying to shift your center of gravity. Instead, try leaning on your front leg from the beginning. The first few times you try this method, you should put a ball between your chin and neck to keep your head held up until you get used to it.”
“How did you–?”
“Notice? I love observing others, I can help you. There’s only so much we can practice on our own. I need help with my reflexes and you need someone who can review your performances. We can’t do this alone. You don’t have to like me, you just have to work with me. What do you say? Deal?”
“Tch. Deal.”
At first, their conversations mainly consisted of Marinette’s one-sided chatter during their warm-up, breaks, and cool-down stretches. It took a while for Marinette to get Damian to open up, but once she found the right topics she found that he was strongly opinionated about almost everything and shared quite a few hobbies with her. While Wushu was the common interest that brought them together, they were much more alike than they thought. They both enjoyed art, video games, and superhero shows to name a few common interests. Damian would say he would want to be a hero without any powers, someone who relies on their own skill to punish evil-doers. Marinette on the other hand would love to be a magical girl who could save others without causing too much damage. After hotly debating the topic of normal heroes and powered heroes, Damian and Marinette came to an agreement that both sides had their own set of struggles and perks.
Damian and Marinette found themselves spending more time with each other both inside and outside of the studio. After arguing over which type of paint was superior, Marinette was team watercolor because of its varied use, relative cheapness to oil paints, and blendability where Damian was a more traditional artist who believed that the blending capabilities of oil paint were just as good, if not better, and their longevity was worth the cost, the two decided to settle it with a paint off. Art sessions quickly became a biweekly tradition between the two, whenever the Gotham botanical garden would have a new exhibit Marinette would insist they go to sketch the flora. Damian quickly found that Marinette was almost as passionate about plants as he was about animals, with the way she flitted about the garden he couldn’t help but wonder if she had been something like a ladybug in her past life. There were also plenty of weekends spent sketching Damian’s pets, though Marinette would note that no drawings could capture what good boys Titus, Alfred the Cat, Jerry the Turkey, and Bat Cow were.
Together they found new ways to integrate Wushu into their hobbies, Marinette had plenty of friends at school who loved art and plenty of friends who did Wushu at the same center, but Damian was the only one she shared nearly all her passions with.
With their art, they began making flyers and posters for the studio, and banners to cheer on their classmates at competitions – Damian would argue he only did this because it would increase morale, which in turn would produce better results for the studio. Marinette struggled with the posters at first as a lot of proposed designs incorporated traditional Chinese characters, she couldn’t even write in Pinyin! Tom and Sabine had prioritized teaching Marinette about her French roots, in the event that one day they decided to move back to France, and neglected teaching her much about Chinese heritage. Marinette still learned basic conversational phrases: yes, no, please, thank you, and familial titles, but she was nowhere near conversational or fluent. After realizing Marinette did not know how to speak Mandarin Damian made it his personal goal to make her at least conversational before they would begin to travel internationally for competitions. Many of the major Wushu competitions took place in China and if Marinette was going to be his partner in the couples division he was going to make sure she was able to converse with any interviewers they may meet, and that if she were to end up lost – he swears Marinette was born without a sense of direction – that she could find her way back to him or their hotel. He hoped that while working on the banners he could work in a few lessons on traditional Chinese characters and simplified Chinese characters so that Marinette could at least read signs. Apart from art, reenacting scenes from video game cutscenes and superhero movies became one of their favorite activities, it became a way to train while still having plenty of fun. Sometimes after mastering a new move-in Ultimate Mecha Strike, they would break out the crash mats to test if the moves in the game were actually physically possible.
Even the hobbies Damian didn’t share with Marinette he was willing to partake in, and the fact that he was trying meant the world to Marinette. Damian was rarely physically affectionate in the first few years of their friendship, and it was even rarer for him to vocalize his emotions, and so Marinette quickly learned that Damian had a tendency to express himself through his actions. A lot of people failed to see how warm and loving Damian truly was, but Marinette saw it in how he interacted with everyone. For example, when Damian’s eldest brother opened up an acrobatics and gymnastics center Damian immediately volunteered to design and paint a mural on the outside that would more easily catch attention, Marinette watched him alter the design day and night and sort through hundreds of color palettes to ensure the pairing was just right. She saw his kindness through his interactions with his family and hers, the painting of her mom and dad baking, a gift from Damian for their 20th anniversary, hung up in the living room was more physical proof of it. When Marinette began sewing he proudly wore her designs and when she began to take commissions, he always kept her business card on his body in the event someone asked about his apparel.
One of Marinette’s fondest memories with Damian was when they decided to host a bake sale to offset the cost of international travel for the competition team. It was near the Mid-Autumn festival so Marinette and her parents decided to make mooncakes. Damian had some experience in the kitchen helping his mother make baozi and baklava, but he definitely wasn’t as experienced as Marinette who grew up in a bakery, yet he still came over to help them with the first few test batches and to help design packaging. Watching him carefully weigh out the ingredients her parents listed and chat about his favorite flavors with her parents in French filled her with so much warmth. The kitchen was filled with banter as a discourse between traditional baked mooncakes and skin mooncakes arose. Marinette and Sabine preferred snow skin mooncakes, the chewiness pairs well with pastes like red bean and taro, where Damian and Tom were strongly on the side of the more traditionally baked mooncake, arguing that the crumble of the pastry paired with fillings like salted egg and lotus paste was clearly superior. Marinette was unsurprised that Damian was strongly advocating for traditional flavors, but her father? The same man who made mustard macarons? It wasn’t until Marinette suggested thousand-layer mooncakes were simply croissants with a pasty filling that everyone else was willing to set aside their different preferences to unite against her. While the thousand layer mooncakes and traditional mooncakes baked, and the snow skin mooncakes steamed Marinette and Damian got to work on the packaging. In order to reduce cost, they had ordered plain packaging and planned to carve potato stamps with Mid-Autumn festival motifs: the moon, rabbits, flowers, fans, and lanterns. Despite having seen how proficient Damian was with a blade in training, Marinette was pleasantly surprised, if not downright awed, by Damian’s precision with a knife. By the time Marinette had finished carving out one flower Damian had finished three lantern carvings. After finishing stamping the final package Marinette daringly pressed the still paint-laden potato stamp onto Damian’s cheek which quickly devolved into a paint fight. The picture of Damian and Marinette covered head to two in paint was proudly pinned at the top of her corkboard, Marinette would never forget the sound of the kitchen filled with laughter that day.
Damian’s parents were extremely supportive of this arrangement. Talia thought it was a great opportunity, open gym hours were busy and she couldn’t give all her attention to Damian, having a training partner could really help him grow. If they got along well they could even enter paired events together! Bruce was enthralled that his son found someone to spend time with other than his friend Clark’s son, Jon. Jon and Damian were great friends, but Jon lived in Metropolis and so the boys rarely saw each other outside of business galas and Skype calls. It was nice knowing his son had someone he could spend time with in person, Bruce was concerned that Damian’s interpersonal growth would be stunted by his lack of interaction with his classmates at school. To see his son being a kid, laughing freely, filled him with great joy, he knew that being the son of a billionaire and a top-notch martial artist had put a lot of pressure on Damian’s shoulders, but he never knew what he could do to help his son. Seeing the walls in Damian’s room at the manor fill up with pictures of him and Marinette smiling, Damian smiling, made Bruce figure that everything was going to be okay.
Sabine and Tom grew to love Damian like their own son with the more time he spent at each other’s houses. At first, they were a bit skeptical, they didn’t quite understand what their daughter saw in the boy, but they trusted her judgment and boy are they glad they did. Damian was like a missing piece of their family, despite his hard exterior, the boy was extremely loyal and caring, they could always count on him to have Marinette’s back. Sabine especially had a soft spot for him after watching him correct Marinette’s brush strokes on the banners, teaching her the differences between what she wrote and what he was writing. The two watched their daughter give herself wholly to this boy, and in return, he gave himself back to her and that was all they could’ve ever wanted for Marinette, to love and be loved.
As they grew older they shared more than just common interests: their dreams, their fears, and the pressure they faced from their families. Marinette knew what she wanted for herself – something Damian was envious of. When they were 11 to offset the competition costs, Marinette’s mother began designing and sewing their competition outfits. Once Marinette saw what her mother was doing she wanted to help, and she ended up falling in love with fashion design. From the age of 13 and onward Marinette designed all of her own stage wear, as well as Damian’s. Sabine would joke that with such a talented daughter it’s a shame they didn’t stay in Paris. Damian wouldn’t admit it – Marinette would – but the thought of possibly never meeting Marinette made him feel uncomfortably empty; he wonders how he bore with that feeling before becoming close with Marinette. Damian wasn’t sure what he wanted for himself, he would love to take over his mother’s Wushu studio, maybe even expand it, but he was always raised with the expectation that one day he would inherit his father’s corporation. Despite loving both options, loving both his parents, there was also a part of him that wanted something that was completely Damian, he had already spent so much of his life living in the shadow of his parents. It wasn’t until high school that Damian opened up to Marinette about this, as the time to make decisions grew closer Damian naturally grew more anxious about his future. Marinette rarely gets the chance to comfort Damian, oftentimes he bottles his emotions up until they’re ready to burst, and even then Marinette has to slowly coax him into talking about them, even if it is with his brothers and not her, she just wants him to feel safe with his own emotions. The first time Damian opened up to her about the pressure he felt as his parent’s only biological son she immediately swept him into her arms, stroking his hair she began to tell him about how loved he was. She told him “Damian I love you, your family loves you, my family loves you. I just want you to know how loved you are. I speak not only for myself, but for everyone who loves you when I say this, do what makes you happy. Your parents will be happy as long as you are, they trust that they raised you to make good decisions for yourself. Even if you don’t know what it is that makes you happy yet, don’t be afraid to explore your options; I’ll be right here by your side and I’m going to support you no matter what. You’ve told me before that even if you inherit the studio Maya would co-own it with you, or even if you inherit your father’s business you would be working alongside your brothers. You are not alone, the world is not riding on solely your shoulders.” Damian was completely silent, if not for the wetness on her shoulder and his grip tightening around her, Marinette would figure he was unphased. Marinette has known that she loves this boy, far past the platonic love she just expressed, but for Damian, it was at this moment that he realized that not only was he loved, but he was in love with Marinette.
“WELCOME TO THE WORLD WUSHU CHAMPIONSHIPS 2019 LIVE FROM GOTHAM, NEW JERSEY” roared overhead on the speakers.
Damian and Marinette were standing in a hall away from the main room where other contestants were preparing themselves both appearance-wise and physically. Marinette herself was fixing the crown braid in her hair. The women’s event would take place in the morning to late afternoon, where the men’s event in the evening giving Damian ample time before he needs to warm up to support Marinette. He gave Marinette’s ensemble a once over and with his cheeks tinged red he muttered “I like your costume, you look really cute”, quickly averting his gaze.
Marinette immediately flushed, almost as red as the silken top that adorned her torso, and brought the hands that were adjusting her braids down to her hips and leaned forward, exclaiming in a hushed shout as to not disturb the other competitors warming up, “Damian Al-Ghul Wayne, are you making fun of me? I just want to make sure that any pictures taken do not make me look like a hot mess. Could you imagine what could happen if Audrey Bourgeois sees pictures of me completely frumpled looking and cancels my apprenticeship?? Oh my God and then Parson’s will find out and rescind me and then I won’t be able to visit you at NYU!” Marinette’s hands now rested on her cheeks smearing away her perfectly placed blush. How Marinette managed to go from disgruntled to spiraling in less than a minute is still a mystery that still eludes Damian after years of friendship, but it was his duty to calm her down. He understands her nerves, they had spent the last few years dominating the juniors division and as they entered the senior division there was a lot of pressure for them to win there too. Unfortunately, for every person who wanted them to win, another five were praying for them to slip up, but now is not the time to be overcome by nerves, her turn would come soon and she cannot afford to be overwhelmed by nerves.
Damian fully grasped her wrists pulling her hands away from her face, “Marinette, genuinely you look stunning”. After that comment, Damian noted to himself that it seems like there was no more need for the blush she applied anyways. With the soft tut of his tongue, he smoothed out the harsh lines of her smeared blush using the pad of his thumb. He whispered, just loud enough for her to hear, “Don’t worry too much about your hair and makeup, the most important thing is your form”. Marinette leaned into his touch and gave a small nod, calming down from her spiraling thoughts, he always knew how to ground her.
“Contestant number 54 you’re up next!”
“That’s you; you might want to fix up your makeup real quick, but everything is going to be fine.” He handed her a bag with her cosmetics and a wipe and quickly clapped his hands around her shoulders to guide her to the main stage so she could focus on herself.
Fixing her makeup Marinette shot him a cheeky grin, “wish me luck?”
“You don’t need luck. Marinette you have the skill, you know that.”
“Next up is Marinette Dupain-Cheng from New Jersey, USA! She is definitely a fan favorite to win today on the Women’s Taolu floor. She is internationally known for competing not only in the women’s division but also in the couples’ scene. She’s been training for the individual event from the age of six and for the partner event from the age of nine with her studio mate Damian Al-Ghul Wayne, who is predicted to win the Men’s Taolu event. While we do not have a couples’ Wushu competition here, since turning 18 they have been dominating the senior international couples’ Wushu scene and have gone undefeated.”
Taking off her team jacket, with a quick nod to her parents, Talia, and of course, Damian Marinette strode to the center stage. Damian would never grow sick of watching her transform on stage, it was strikingly similar to the magical girl shows she had been obsessed with as a child. The moment Marinette stepped onto the mat her whole demeanor changed. Her back straightened up, her head would be held high, and most of all, the look in her eyes was filled with inextinguishable fire.
By the end of the event after getting changed Marinette and Damian were making their way to his car. Once Damian turned 16 and got his license, it became a tradition for them to go out for a celebratory meal together without their parents. “Marinette!” Damian heard a voice call out, Agreste he noted in his head. Marinette had met Agreste and Tsurugi while vacationing in Paris. While they weren’t the worst, in fact, Tsurugi was typically pleasant company, Damian was in no mood to socialize after the several rounds of interviews he had to endure after winning first place in Men’s Taolu. Many of the interviewers failed to understand that while yes, he had more opportunities to train as he is a third-generation Wushu champion, it was his hard work that got him to where he was, not his genetics.
Seeing Damian continue on to his car, not wanting to keep him waiting, Marinette quickly bid them farewell with a promise to see them tomorrow. “Hey wait for me!” Marinette called out, running after Damian. Despite his pride usually preventing him from heeding to his peers’ commands, Damian stopped in his tracks, his breath shallow and wondering why Marinette’s voice still makes his heartthrob despite having heard it call out to him for over 10 years. Feeling her hands latch around his arm gave him a sense of comfort. Her grip was strong and steady, yet still gentle. He couldn’t help but envision his hand in hers instead of his arm. The bouquet and hand-painted card in his car were waiting to see if she felt the same.
221 notes · View notes
dreamii-yume · 3 years
Note
I know his birthday is close, but
Cock sucking manipulative senpai Vil
Cock sucking manipulative senpai Vil
It seems like it's a trend amongst the third year birthday crumbs why stop a nice pattern
Yume’s a kinkii motherfucker, ya’ll know that, right? Darlings? (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Splendid, HOPE YA’LL LIKE SOME DICC MILK ON YOUR CRUMBS HAHA.
“Oh, my...Are you already done?” The hairs on your body stood on its end as soon as you heard Vil’s cold voice. You back straightened up out of instinct as you slowly dragged your mouth off your senior’s still hardened, seemingly unsatisfied dick. Aesthetically pleasing to look at and well-taken care of, exactly what you expect from Vil himself, but was extremely difficult to please. You started wondering if you’re really cut out for this job, or why you’re even here in the first place. “That’s quite the boring performance you gave me there, Darling.”
You chewed on your bottom lip, grimacing at the lingering taste of his precum on your tongue. You didn’t know how many times Vil had told you to suck him off over and over again, but just by the milky white substance dripping down your jaw and probably some in your hair as well since they feel so damped, you guessed it’s been quite a while. “...I-I just can’t, anymore...” His harsh criticism struck a nerve in your feeble little heart, mocking you for doing a terrible job on something that you weren’t really an expert on doing.
Embarrassment filled your core as you began wanting more than to stood up from where you were placed and walk away, but you can’t. Not when your hands are bounded tightly behind your back like this, your shaking knees can’t even carry you more than five meters away. They were but an incredibly soft strings of fabric, yet shows no signs of loosening up no matter how much you struggle against it. Obviously, it was something that Vil purposely chose himself, since the traditional ropes would’ve caused unwanted abrasions on your skin.
Despite knowing that however, you instinctively tugged on your restraints as some sort of defense mechanism against Vil’s condescending glare. “...I-I did what you asked, r-right...? Multiple times, actually…Surely, you must be satisfied no-“
“You must be so full of yourself to think something as pathetic as that can ever satisfy me.” You flinched as Vil raised his voice as he grabbed a fistful of your hair and leaned closer to your face, enough to see your frightened expression. “Do tell me, what part of that was satisfying, huh?”
“You’re too dependent on your hands, so I binded them away. I was hoping that by doing that, you’d make the effort to do better with just your mouth, but all you gave me was disappointment, Dear.” He spoke without hesitation, drilling onto your head your flaws and imperfections. “Why do you shy away from using your tongue, I wonder? You should have the natural talent, and yet you barely used it at all. Don’t you see how wasteful you’re being right now?”
He gave out an exasperated sigh, having the audacity to act like he’s the one having the hardest time and not you. “Don’t think I didn’t see how you never swallow either.” He scowled. “You try to distract me by holding my seed inside your mouth like a chipmunk, but in the end, you spit them right back out. How rude.”
“T-That’s...” You tried to defend yourself, but stopped when he let go of your hair, patting them a bit to flatten some strands that’s been sticking out.
“Enough, it’s fine. I don’t need your excuses.” He said as his hand reached for something on a nearby desk, giving you a mesmerizing view on how long they really are. However, upon glancing down at you and seeing your pitiful expression, eyebrows scrunched up together and in the verge of tears, his eyes did soften up a bit. “...But I understand, you’re still my adorable little potato right now so, I don’t expect you to reach a professional level any time soon.”
You heard him giggle, which caught your attention and looked up at him, only to see an amused smirk formed in his lips. “So, I’ll just have to train you more until then.” He said, licking his lips seductively as you widened your eyes once you saw that particular item in his hand. “Be grateful, Honey.”
Once he saw you starting to recoil back nervously despite your restrictions, Vil grabbed you by the back of the head. “...You’ll do that for me, right? After all, it is my special day.” He cunningly whispered out as he revealed his special item close to you; a mouth-opening device. You let out incomprehensible, protesting noises as he forcibly clanked them onto your mouth, attaching them from the back of your head until it gave a satisfying click as a lock. Your jaw tightened, not used to having your gums pried open this far wide.
Content with being on his two legs alone, Vil chuckled down at you, who looked back at him fearfully. You tried to talk to him, to try and beg your way out of this, only to end up releasing panicked meekly sounds as drool began to drip down your jaw. “How adorable, keep making sounds like that and I might end up confusing you for a livestock that’s about to be slaughtered.” He mocked as he grabbed both the sides of your head as soon as you started shaking your head in defiance. “...You’re completely at my mercy, aren’t you?”
“Open your teeth for me.” His dominating voice demanded, making your body weaker than it already is. His sharp glare didn’t leave your teeth clattering against each other for too long, you soon opened a trembling entrance for his excited dick to pass through. He chuckled at your obedience, despite the hesitance and sense of unwillingness expressed through your actions. “...That’s a good girl.”
You let out one last squeal as he wasted no time in practically shoving his whole shaft inside your awaiting mouth hole. Closing your eyes shut, you desperately tried to ignore your activating gag reflex as you felt him rub against the roof of your mouth. He was long and thick enough to have you chocking as he hit the back of your throat. You already had many instances where Vil ‘trains’ you to take him more confidently like this, but you just don’t believe that this was something that you can get used to in a short-time period. But you were sure he’d be disappointed again if you don’t try your best though and you didn’t want to start over again.
Vil sighed slightly as you nervously began to use your tongue to increase his pleasure in-take, hoping that coating him with your own saliva could make his thrusts a little less rough. Thankfully, it seemed like it was the correct decision to make as you practically heard him give out a smirk, his hands staying on your head as he moved his hips back and forth. Gurgled sounds came out of you as he repeatedly knocked on the back of your throat, saliva already slipping out of your strained lips. “...That’s right, you’re doing better now than before, you learn fast too…I like this part of you, it’s endearing.” Vil praised you as a way to encourage you on your efforts even more. “See? I knew you had this in you.”
Giggling, his thrusts began to transitioned in a more fast-paced, harsh kind of way all the while grabbing a fistful of your hair as a lever. Your teeth grazed against the base of his cock, sending shivers of pleasure in Vil’s system that could drive any man crazy. Luckily, his self-control isn’t all that weak-willed, though that’s not to say that he didn’t want it. He could at least say that it was addicting, some kind of pleasure button that he wanted to abuse constantly and bring himself to cum just by your salivating mouth alone. But he had stamina and he could go on forever if he so desired, forever locked onto the warmth of your mouth without necessarily cumming.
However, despite all of that, Vil knew better not to take too much advantage of his new-found enjoyment that it is your mouth hole. It’s not fun to play with a broken toy after all, you’re a pretty little thing too so that would be too wasteful. “I think it’s about time, Love.” Vil whispered, but you only ended up squealing in surprise with your eyes going as wide as saucers as he buried himself inside you in suffocating manner. “Make sure to take it all in, okay?”
Inhaling through your nose, you gasped out a choke as you felt his hot, thick semen exploding from inside your mouth. It filled up space really quick, since there wasn’t really any to begin with and slipped down your jaw. Most importantly, you felt the stream-like substance flowing down your throat and into to your esophagus, filling your stomach up without even trying. You whimpered once you realized that his ejaculation period had finally stopped after a while, but he kept a strong hold against the back of your head. “No, I’m not gonna pull out yet.” Vil strictly said, staring down at your teary, begging eyes. “I did say to take it all in, right? As long as there’s still cum that you have yet to swallow, I’m not pulling out.”
His eyes were testing you, mocking you to do better for yourself but you knew deep down that no matter what you do, he’ll still get the upper hand regardless. Still, you couldn’t just hang around bounded in the floor like this with his twitching dick in your mouth, your jaw is killing you. So, with a heavy heart, you tried to swallow what was left inside your mouth, even going as far as licking the head of his dick to rid it off some remaining semen. You felt disgusting, like you’ve really downgraded yourself into a sex slave, a pig, only for Vil’s personal use. You’re not quite sure on how to get out of this predicament afterwards, or even if it’s possible to do so.
As if he already knew that his dick was licked clean and cum completely swallowed by you, he slowly pulled out, dragging your saliva in a messy fashion. A thin bridge of it was connected to the head, a clear evidence that you even tried licking him off and it really stirred the embarrassment in the bottom of your stomach. You whimpered as he even had the audacity to place his wet dick on your cheek, dragging some disgusting fluids across your skin by practically slapping you with it. Soon, you heard Vil chuckle and flinched as it turned into a full-blown laughter, like a wicked queen when her everything goes according to her plan. He placed a hand on your head, patting you like a pet for a job well-done.
“Haa...That was amazing, Honey. You certainly made my day, thank you.” He said with a smile, surprisingly not a mocking one or a smirk for that matter but a genuine grateful smile. It made your stomach churn to see he could still smile like that despite what he just made you do. “Now, it’s just common sense to give you a well-deserved reward now, right? You’ve done such a good job after all~!”
He then pulled away from you, giving you a sense of relief that everything was over, that you don’t have to do any more humiliating things but...It was odd, if his so-called ‘training’ is already over, why was he not releasing you out of your binds? Your jaw is cramping from your mouth being spread open like this that it was really starting to hurt real bad. Somehow, you didn’t like where this ‘reward’ was gonna go.
Vil came back with a generous slice of his own birthday cake, carefully cut with its beautiful edible decorations still in-tact. There weren’t a single crumb on the plate, suggesting how clean the slice really was. He was smiling and you thought you saw his cheeks pinker than usual, but that could just be his make up like always. It’s kinda out of place and bizarre to see him getting flustered now of all times anyway. With a fork, he cut a piece of cake and slowly brought it close to you.
“Say ‘aah’, Darling.” You were confused at first, not trusting his all of a sudden act of kindness. He still has the mouth-opener clasped onto your gums; how does he expect you to eat that? However, just when you thought to give up trying to make sense of the situation and actually lean closer to let the delicious piece of cake enter your open mouth, Vil stopped. “Oh—“
You flinched as his eyes focused on your jaw and you panicked, wondering what it is. He then smiled eventually, but one that is clearly laced with mischief. “...You missed a spot.” He said, as his long finger traced over a line from your jaw to the one side of your lips. Lifting up his finger in front of you showed a small, yet thick bits of cum that escaped you earlier. “You shouldn’t waste such nourishment, Darling~”
Then, to your utmost shock and disgust, he scraped off the semen on the piece of cake that he was about to feed you. It joined along the other ingredients of the food in a scarily well manner, as if that tinge of white had already been one of the decorations from the start. You were left speechless, but Vil only smirked at your reaction, seemingly finding extreme enjoyment in your cute shocked face. “Alright...” You flinched, physically retracting away but can’t really go any far than you already are now as he brought the fork closer to your open mouth. “I’ll say it again.”
“Say ‘Aah’~”
Is it obvious? IS IT OBVIOUS that Euphoria is affecting the way I’m writing right now? Because YES, it is affecting me so bad OMG— I need to get it out of my system because I can just TELL that this will affect me in the future too lol
Vil reminded me of Nemu and I’m— *sob* I thought I was sinful, but Euphoria is traumatizing—
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theravennest · 3 years
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Let’s Talk About Shang Chi...
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I just got back from seeing Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. I had a great time with it. Just a lovely experience.
The fights were dope. The music was rocking. The actors’ performances really sold me on everything. I loved all the Xianxia elements. Y’all know fantasy worlds are my JAM!
But it was the characters that really drew me in. Every one of them were pitch perfect for me. The final act got a little jumbled, imo, but the characters and their dynamics were so good that it was enough for me to completely forgive and overlook the somewhat messy final battle. 
The story had a lot of heart. It was so personal and so anchored in real emotions. I highkey fell in love with all the main characters. I love their journeys and their complex  and grounded relationships with each other. I really liked the movie’s examination of grief, loss, and pain and the lengths people will go to in the wake of being overwhelmed by those feelings.
Let’s dig into it! This is gonna be a whole discombobulated mess, I just know it. lmao
***Spoilers below the cut!***
I really felt for Shang Chi, Xialing, and Wenwu struggling to figure out how to be a family again after they were all broken in different ways by the loss of Mama Ying Li. And each one of them trying in their own way to heal from it, some to extremely destructive degrees. 
How Wenwu treated his kids after being consumed by grief and violence was so utterly messed up but in two completely different ways. 
He treated Xialing like she was anathema, like she was literally nothing. Even when they were older and she had grown into an adult, he barely spoke to her in the entirety of the movie, could hardly even look at her. Partially because she looked like her mom and he retreated utterly from the pain of that, and partially because he constantly underestimated her in favor of her brother. This, of course, seeded the resentful tension between Xialing and Shang Chi from the start.
I’m a real sucker for sibling dynamics, as you all know. They’re my favorite types of family-oriented stories. (Side note, I really love the way the MCU has dedicated several stories to sibling relationships. It’s like my favorite thing in the MCU as a whole.)
I completely ate up the harsh and tricky relationship between Xialing and Shang Chi. Shang Chi completely let her down when they were kids, for her POV. (Not really his fault, he was a scared and traumatized 15 year old. Totally understandable.) But there is something to be said about the fact that she was also a child. A child dealing with her mom’s death too AND her dad’s aloofness. Then she was utterly abandoned by her brother. It’s no wonder she never quite forgives him, even though they mostly team up in the movie. They still have a lot to work out between them.
I really loved that she took on leadership of the Ten Rings at the end. The moment Shang Chi said she was “dismantling” their dad’s empire, I knew what was up. Though, the softy in me does hope that eventually they can find true reconciliation between them. I’m excited to see what we’ll see from her in future movies as a potential enemy of Shang Chi. It’ll be really interesting to see how Shang Chi tackles having to go up against his little sister.
And Shang Chi!!! OMG! Let’s talk Shang Chi and Wenwu now. When Wenwu drop kicked him into the ground and started the blame game for Mama Ying Li’s death like bro!!! I was so heated. He was 7 years old. A whole baby! She died because your thousand years of violence and conquering shit finally came home to roost. 
But that one line when Wenwu said Shang Chi’s 7 year old self “just stood there and watched” while his mom was killed actually revealed so much about Wenwu’s character. (The cutting way Tony Leung, a literal legend, delivered that was masterful, btw.) 
I actually think that it was the first time Wenwu has ever verbalized that he blamed Shang Chi for Ying Li’s death. Like maybe he’s always felt that way and all this time he was partially punishing Shang Chi for what he thinks of as a failure to protect or help the woman who meant so much to them.
Like, yes, he was training Shang Chi to take his place with him in the Ten Rings as an assassin but maybe he also wanted Shang Chi to kill his mom’s murderer as penance for letting her die in the first place.
Of course, it’s clear to see that Wenwu was absolutely shifting his own feelings of conflicting guilt onto his kids. Guilt that his past as a warlord is what got her killed. But also guilt that he put down the Ten Rings in the first place when if he had stayed a warlord, this never would have happened. But also the bone deep knowledge that if he hadn’t put down the Rings, Ying Li might never have stayed with him and loved him in the first place.
When Shang Chi threw it back at him that Ying Li probably wouldn’t love the person Wenwu had returned to, Wenwu looked so shook up. Phew! Perfect emoting from Tony Leung in that moment.
Honestly, Wenwu was having a very tragic and confusing time of it in this movie. Which is probably how that creature from beyond was able to find a crack in his psychic defenses and lure him to the gate. I had a lot of empathy for him even though I disagree so much with what he did to his kids, emotionally.
I really respect the fact that the movie never lost that sense of compassion for all of their feelings including Wenwu. I also respect that the movie really gave them space to grieve not just the loss of Ying Li but also the resulting dissolution of their happy family.
It’s just too bad that Wenwu’s grief made him push his kids away instead of pulling them closer. He completely emotionally abandoned them. A thousand years of power and supremacy yet he was broken because he never in that time fully learned how to process his emotions in a healthier way and his kids paid the price. They could’ve leaned on each other and on the love they found with Ying Li to help them get through but alas that’s the tragedy of the movie. 
I really wanted somehow for Shang Chi to make it through to his dad before he went too far to come back again. I genuinely did not want to see Wenwu die at the end. I wanted him to live and see Shang Chi’s changing dynamic with his father continue. I wanted to see him finally acknowledge his daughter as his true heir and see her accomplishments (dark though they will likely become considering the “softer” version of her is the one that ran an illegal fight club in Macao lmao).
Though I am happy Shang Chi got through to him enough at the end for Wenwu to save Shang Chi’s life, willingly pass the rings onto his son, and somewhat accept his own death after a thousand years of life. That was such a poignant moment between them. And I wonder if in that instant, Wenwu had the thought that in dying he’d at least see Ying Li again.
(Side note: I really hope his soul and the souls of everyone that got eaten were freed when Shang Chi killed the monster. I really want them to be able to move on to the next phase of existence. I really hope they weren’t destroyed after being eaten. I want Wenwu to reunite with Ying Li even in the afterlife, gotdamnit! Sue me, I’m a romantic.)
Let’s talk Simu Liu’s performance here for one second. He was incredible throughout. I completely bought into this strange but so real feeling that while he has a lot of anger towards his father, so much hurt, he also felt a lot of heartache and love for who Shang Chi wanted him to be. And the strange desire to want to help a man who emotionally scarred him so badly.
Simu really brought both sides of Shang Chi’s journey to life. Like, he was tying to find his own path, reconcile with the mistakes he’s made in the past (his sister, killing his mom’s murderer), and facing up against his father’s ideals and expectations. But there was also a side of Shang Chi’s journey that was about finally understand both his sister and his father’s point of views, and of learning/embracing his mother’s history. 
That moment by the lake when he revealed to Katy that he had actually killed the man who killed his mother. Whew boy! The emotions were so poignant. Simu Liu played it like *chef’s kiss* beautiful.
Speaking of character choices, I really rate this decision to have him actually go through with the assassination. It puts Shang Chi in an interesting position emotionally and somewhat morally. Instead of having his breaking point be him unable to kill as his father wishes, it’s instead the feeling of guilt and shame that he actually did kill the man.
I wonder if he felt a sense of satisfaction before the disgust and shame settled in. Because Shang Chi literally watched his mom die, he probably initially wanted to help his father hunt down the man because of that bit of dark need for vengeance. Until he got it, and felt ashamed to fully face his mother’s memory afterwards.
I’m interested to see how future Shang Chi movies and Simu will dig into and unpack that little bit of darkness these events instilled in the character.
Let’s talk Ying Li for a second here. This woman was incredible. An incredible martial artist, for sure, a mystical guardian and warrior...but she was also just an incredible person in general. Mama Ying Li was so self-assured, so steadfast in her convictions. She struck me as someone who knows exactly what she wants and is never afraid to reach for it.
Fala Chen portrayed her with such grace, warmth, and strength of character. It was extremely easy to see why Wenwu fell in love with her. She met Wenwu, a literal thousand year old warlord, and through shear strength of character led him to put down his weapons and his empire to make a home with her.
This man threw away his entire shadow army of assassins, threw away his whole plan to literally demolish her village in the pursuit of power...in order to play Dance Dance Revolution with her and their kids. (The highlight of their romance and the family flashbacks, for me, tbh.) 
And I know it’s not necessarily...positive BUT there is something...hmmmm, crunchy in the fact that Ying Li so completely altered Wenwu’s life by simply loving him that when she died he was willing to raze the whole world to get her back, damn the consequences.
Trying to properly explore toxic and negative turns in previously loving family dynamics is such a difficult task to take on. I really liked the complexity of the Xu family. All the actors really sold the family side of things. It was an almost tangible thing how much you could see how the love they felt had turned bitter and painful over the years.
The final battle was epic and mind blowing (There was a fucking DRAGON flying around for gods’ sake!) but I do wish it had stayed a little more grounded for longer in the beginning of it when the Ten Rings were fighting the Ta Lo warriors. I wanted to see more of that fight before they had the turn to becoming temporary allies against the soul suckers. It became a little too much of a CGI mash, for me, in some parts of it.
Still, the emotional beats held and the core of the story of this grieving family trying to hold on to the tatters of their world stayed consistent even through the final battle. I can forgive a lot because of the strong sense of character and connection there.
Plus, it’s a comic book movie. Spectacle is the name of the game and at least this one had cool fantasy beasts and dope fight choreo. 
Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. Let’s wrap it up here. Suffice it to say, I had a wonderful time with this movie. I’m ready for the next one!
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babbushka · 3 years
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Beyond Reasonable Doubt (ch.1)
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                                –      A Lawyer AU      –
You and Kylo Ren have hated one another for as long as you can remember. He, a criminal prosecutor, and you, a defense attorney should be natural-born enemies, and you are. But when Kylo comes to you seeking representation after being charged for a murder he didn’t commit, you both learn a thing or two about life, the law, and love…
[5k, no warnings for this first chapter!] 
Available on AO3
                                          ----------------------------
In a world of ever-changing circumstances, where people do things that cause ripples and shocks through the very fabric of society that shake them to their core, where the sun shines and rain falls and snow blows cold through the streets of Manhattan, where there is life and death and a mess of bullshit in between, there was but one thing that you could ever comfortably rely on in life.
Only one thing remained constant in the grand scheme of it all: your alarm.
With a grunt and sigh, your arm extends out from underneath the covers to smack at the loud blaring jingle that sounds from your phone, hand desperately trying to hit the dismiss button without looking so that you don’t have to face the day just yet. It’s too early, you reason, to pull your whole self out from under the covers.
Eventually you give that thought up though, because dammit now you’re awake and it’s Monday morning and you have an office that’s waiting for you uptown. So, ever grudgingly, you throw the plush comforter off of your body and stretch to greet the day, saying good morning to the city that never sleeps.
You don’t usually dread waking up, but well, the last time you’d been in the office was Friday afternoon, after you lost your case.
After you lost your case, to him.
Glancing at the clock on your phone, you chew your lip for a moment or two, before finally turning off the do not disturb function, immediately going into the bathroom to shower and ready yourself for the day while damn near a hundred backlogged notifications make your phone buzz nearly onto the floor.
There’s a small mirror in the shower, a little compact to make sure there’s nothing left on your face after you scrub your skin clean, and you catch your own reflection in it. You’ve looked better, that was for damn sure – but by that same token, you’ve also looked worse. Mondays were shit, but today was gearing up to be an even worse one than normal.
No, you think as you shake your head adamantly, you have no desire to let him soak up any more of your good mood than he had already. So what if you had forgone your entire weekend, canceling plans and ignoring friends to nurse the sting to your pride that was losing? So what if instead of checking your email or your phone, you sat yourself on the couch and wasted two entire days doing nothing but watching shitty shows on Netflix?
What you did on your downtime was nobodies’ business, and since you live alone in your beautiful one-bedroom in SoHo, no one was there to spill your secrets. If anyone asked – not that anyone would, if they knew what was good for them – you would tell them that you absolutely did not spend the weekend wanting to throw darts onto a photo of his face. That wouldn’t be very professional, now would it?
Shutting off the water, you wrap yourself up in a big plush towel, and pad across the floor to your closet. Briefly, ever so briefly, you glance at your phone on your way, holding your breath, wondering, hoping that there might be something from him.
If there is, it’s buried under a pile of emails and text-threads from your firm, so he’ll have to wait.
Manhattan in January was chilly, so you bundle yourself up in your chicest coat overtop your most well-fitting skirt suit and a pair of heeled boots. Even if you felt like shit, you could look like million fuckin’ bucks, and no one would be the wiser.
And what a wonder the power of confidence was! Through the streets and down to the subway, you smiled at everyone, and they all smiled back. You offered your seat on the train to an elderly man who clearly needed it more than you, and he complimented your gloves. Everyone from the NYPD officer drinking his coffee to the mom scolding her three children brightened as you wished them a good morning, and somehow, along the way to work, your Monday blues disappears into something a little brighter.
                                         ----------------------------
Your good mood only continues to grow as you exit the elevator of the huge high-rise that you call your home away from home, your office on the twenty-third floor right in the heart of the Upper West Side. Sandwiched between the Hudson and Central Park, you have to admit that getting your ass out of bed was worth it, even if just for this view.
“Morning (Y/N).” The front desk security guard greets you, and you say hello back to him with a performative show of your badge.
HKS Law, so named after the founders and current partners Amilyn Holdo, Ben Kenobi, and Luke Skywalker, is a shining pinnacle of what defense attorneys and opposing counsel at trials should be. Not only had the firm made history time and time again with incredible wins and even more incredible ultimate losses, but it prided itself on being representation for the people no one else could represent.
Most of all, it had you.
If your alarm was a constant, than this was a universal truth: you are a damn good defense attorney. As you walk through the crisp and clean polished floors, you hold your head high, knowing that this loss against him still put you at the lowest loss rate of anyone in the history of HKS, lower than even the founders themselves.
That little reminder has you grinning to yourself. You’d been working with HKS for nearly six years now, and very quickly you saw your office climbing higher and higher up the skyscraper, saw it getting bigger and bigger. And now, you were nearly positive, that your meeting at eleven o’clock would be to discuss partnership with the firm as a reward for your continued hard work.
“Hey (Y/N)!” One of the associates, Rose Tico smiles at you from where she’s chatting with her sister Paige by their desks.  
“Someone looks like they had a nice weekend.” Paige remarks, and you only wink at them, playing the game.
A game, which becomes instantly easier as your assistant, a bright-eyed intern fresh out of law school appears seemingly out of nowhere.
“(Y/N), good morning!” She is already offering you a cup of something nice and hot, her arm cradling a stack of manilla folders that have all sorts of sticky-note flags on them, that she shifts onto her hip ever so slightly to brush a few loose braids out of her face, speaking at what feels like a million miles a second, “I have your coffee ready and there’s a fresh breakfast buffet in the break room if you’d like, I can get you something – ”
“Good morning Neisha.” You accept the coffee gratefully, but interrupting her only to give her a chance to catch her breath. You check your watch, it’s only half-past seven, she’ll wear herself out if she exerts that much energy first thing. “A bagel with the usual would be perfect, thank you.”
“No problem – oh, Rick wanted you to look over those case files before your eleven-o’clock.” She breathes a sigh of relief, and gives you a smile.
Groaning, you accept the manilla folders too, balancing the coffee cup on top of them as Iman follows you into your own private office. Your assistant stands in front of your desk at the ready, looking sharp and put together, as ever.
One thing that you loved about Neisha – aside from the dozens of things that you admired and appreciated about her – was that you have never ever seen her in something other than a pantsuit. She did not wear dresses or skirts, she was almost never in heels, and she did not carry a purse. Instead, Neisha could almost always be found in a very smart trouser and blazer set, often complete with vests, and fun-colored socks in her loafers to coordinate with her ever-expanding collection of ties.
“Rick can go fuck himself.” You mutter under your breath, and she laughs.
“Should I tell him you said that?” With a playful glimmer in her eye, she crosses her arms over her broad chest.
“Yes.” You wink, before checking your watch once again and reminding her about that, “Bagel?”
“Bagel – right, on it.” Neisha snaps her fingers and leaves, closing the office door behind her.
 You like your office, even if you’ve outgrown it. Much like the rest of the firm, it has stayed up to date with the contemporary interior design of the day. However where the open floor of the firm is mostly whites and silvers and glass, your office feels warmer with shades of coffee browns and creamy neutrals. 
Remembering how you had been so excited for the promotion to your own office, you can’t help but chuckle to yourself now – it really was a small office. It consisted of a long dark brown desk situated in front of a wall-unit bookshelf/display area, and a seating arrangement of matching brown chairs situated around a free-edge wooden coffee-table. A soft rug covers the marble flooring, and cream gauzy curtains cover the windows, but that was about it.
You had been to the offices of the higher ups, you knew just what you could achieve if you made partner – even if you made junior partner.
And if all went well during this meeting at eleven, you knew you’d be moving into one of those offices soon.
For the first time all weekend, you sit down in the big leather chair behind your desk and finally check your phone. The case files remain on your desk, and you know you’ll get to them eventually, but until you’ve had some breakfast and that coffee can work its magic, no one could blame you for scrolling through the shit that you had put off since Friday.
It’s mostly work friends taking your side, which you appreciate. They knew losing a case was hard for you – you didn’t do it very often. And even though you never lost to anyone besides him, it still never got easier.
The case had been a simple one, or at least, you had thought so. Murders are so often simple, either the person did it, or they didn’t. If they did, there’s evidence, and if they didn’t, well, there’s evidence too. And when two parties come forward with their own evidence, compelling, strong fucking evidence – evidence of alibis and proof that your client couldn’t have been there, couldn’t have done it – it’s up to the jury to decide who to believe.
In this case, this jury decided to believe him, and there was nothing you could do about it. It was losses like this, losses like the knowledge than an innocent man was going to prison, that make you seriously question the legal system as a whole, frankly.
It’s then that you see it, and your hand freezes.
You have a missed message from him.
He’s saved in your contacts as the dick from VTH, and even though that could refer to any number of people, you know that it’s him. You have five missed messages from him, as a matter of fact, which sends both a rush of adrenaline through you, as well as a spike of anxiety.
The two of you…you’d never been friends, not really. In fact, the closest thing to a relationship that you might have is that of a rivalry, if not flat out enemies. You hated him, and he hated you, and he had hated you ever since the first day he set eyes on you, from the very first moment you walked into the courtroom as a last-minute addition to the defense counsel, and won the case in fifteen minutes.
Which was a shame, because you often find yourself thinking that if he weren’t such a…well, a dick, there could have been something there. Instead of a friendship, or even a civil acquaintanceship, you have over the years developed something of a hate-fucking-enemies-with-benefits arrangement. He was probably pissed that you ignored him all weekend, but that was okay – let him be pissed, you were pissed too.
You don’t open his messages, not yet. You’d need coffee in you and food in your stomach before you’re able to handle whatever mood he has to be in, now that you’ve got the energy to deal with him.
You’re so deep in thought that you nearly miss when Neisha returns with a plate for you, a big spread arranged on your desk for you to enjoy. You’re about to thank her and let her get on with whatever work she has to do, but she holds out a newsletter with a devious smile and curiosity gets the better of you.
“Have you seen?” She asks, and you raise a brow, a smile of your own creeping across your face.
The newsletter was something that circulated through the different firms in the area, keeping everyone up to date – or at least as up to date as legally possible – on the goings on in the sphere of influence that you all found yourselves in. Everything from congratulatory memos to case results, and even high profile celebrity gossip was fair game, but one of the more scandalous parts of the newsletter, was the publication of trouble that various lawyers found themselves in.
The Monday morning newsletter had quite a bit of this from over the weekend, and right there on page sixteen, is none other than his face looking as irritated as he possibly can, as he’s being given a hard time for a DUI on Friday night.
“Oh fuck.” Your eyes widen, wanting nothing more than to call him and yell at him for being a fucking idiot, “What the hell does he think he’s doing?”
“Whatever he wants, evidently.” Neisha shrugs, no doubt thinking the news would cheer you up in some sort of vengeful way that you appreciate. She reaches for a pumpernickel crisp from the spread on your desk and muses, “I bet the cops are thrilled, they hate that sonofabitch.”
“Yeah them and me both.” You mutter, already rubbing away a headache that’s starting to form across the expanse of your forehead. “He’s not going to be pleased about that photo, he looks rumpled.”
Sighing, you look down at the photo. He’s very clearly intoxicated, you’ve seen that look in his eyes more than once, the blurry out of focused glassy look that he gives you over smiles at dinner sometimes. You blink away the image of him in a nice suit on the other end of a table, reminding yourself that you’re angry with him.
“Doesn’t he have a driver? I wonder why he got behind the wheel himself.” Neisha continues, and bless her you think, for continually giving you a means to not be left alone with your thoughts.
“If there’s one thing I know about that man, it’s that when he sets him mind to something, no one is going to stop him from doing it.” You reply, not able to ignore a bit of gut-wrenching regret.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so mad at him, you could’ve gone with him to wherever he was coming back from, and maybe you could’ve --
“Should I have this framed?” Neisha asks, and you blink again.
You check your watch, it’s only a quarter ‘til eight. Have you really only been at work for fifteen minutes? That stack of folders sits on the edge of your desk, taunting you. You’re gearing up for an extra long day.
“No, that’s okay.” You shake your head, opening the bottom drawer of your desk and dropping the newsletter into it. “I will keep a hold onto it though. Just for fun.”
With a laugh, Neisha leaves and once again closes your office door.
“God dammit.” You grumble, pulling your phone out yet again.
The unread messages from him sit buried beneath thirty other messages that don’t warrant responses, and you hover your thumb over his name.
After all these years, something about getting a text from him made your heart jump. It felt stupid, you weren’t some teenager with a crush in high school, you were an adult, and this was just another adult, who you happened to have developed some sort of attachment to. Not a friendship, or a relationship even, but some kind of attachment.
Right now, you wanted to bitch at him for getting himself into trouble, for driving while he was so very clearly drunk, a whole argument prepared about how he could have seriously hurt or even killed someone, how even though he’s a rich asshole he can’t afford to be so reckless.
But first, in order to bitch at him, you have to read what he’s sent you over the weekend, and that’s where you keep tripping up. You don’t know why, but when you do finally open up his texts, you find that you’re holding your breath until you read them.
You try to ignore the way the thread starts out, try to ignore how if anyone were to squint, they might think something was going on between you two.
 Incoming: [1/8 6:03am] just picking up croissants from that place u like. jam?
[1/8 6:10am] Yeah, raspberry if they have
Incoming: [1/8 6:11am] on it, go back 2 bed.
 That had been just over a week ago, and you remember the day well, how you exchanged smiles over bites of fresh and flaky pastry, how you had dipped the croissants into hot chocolate in his bed, not giving a fuck about the crumbs that weren’t your problem because they weren’t your sheets.
How that was the last time you had seen him, before the conclusion of the case.
Now, now that you’d lost, the tone of the thread has very clearly shifted to something much colder. One thing you’re surprised to see though, is that they’re all from around Friday night, which was unusual.
 Incoming: [1/15 7:43pm] going out 2 celebrate tonight, join me
Incoming: [1/15 8:57pm] u can’t ignore me forever u know
Incoming: [1/16 12:02am] i’m glad u didn’t come, ud fucking hate it here. theyre playing music 2 loud
Incoming: [1/16 12:15am] r u seriously still mad?
Incoming: [1/16 1:09am] Fuck you.
 Rolling your eyes, you rub away more of that headache that starts to form. It was weird that he didn’t text you at all for the whole day of Saturday, or Sunday for that matter. If you didn’t spend the weekend together, he was very content to simply blow your phone up with links to random bullshit or long text conversations in broken grammar because his thumbs were too big for the buttons.
So for there to be radio silence after one o’clock in the morning was strange.
“For fucks sake.” You find yourself texting him back without even thinking about it, your fingers moving over the keyboard easily and quickly, sending off a slightly antagonizing reply after two days of nothing;
 [1/18 7:55am] Looks like you had quite the night on Friday.
 There, you think. That should get a response out of him. No doubt he would be quick to complain about how he had been pulled over and the whole nine yards. You wait for it to come through, the text. Or more accurately, the string of impassioned paragraphs that he tends to send you.
But a minute go by, and there’s nothing.
Five minutes, and nothing still.
You know you have to work, you have shit to do, you have that big meeting in a couple hours that you have to mentally prepare for, there’s no time to be worrying about him not texting you back. Still, you don’t like the silence. Sure that makes you a hypocrite, but he deserved your cold shoulder for beating you in court. At least, that’s how you justify it for yourself.
Getting up from your desk, you hover in the doorframe, where your assistant’s desk sits just outside to act as a buffer for anyone wanting to bother you.
“Hey Neisha?” You ask quietly, getting her attention, “I haven’t missed any calls, have I?”
A crease of confusion dips between her brows as she frowns, and immediately she checks the call logs on the conference phone that sits on her desk next to the big computer that takes up most of her space.
“No not that I can think of, are you expecting someone – ?”
Just as she’s asking, the phone rings. You lean over and see the number is one you don’t recognize, and you frown too.
“Better get that.” Neisha says awkwardly, so you just nod and retreat back into your own office from where you came.
It’s been seven minutes now, and there’s still nothing from him.
“Fine, fuck you too.” You mutter at the phone, locking it and putting it in the shallow drawer of your desk so you can focus on the folders in front of you finally.
 The stack is pretty normal, all the weekend material finally coming in now that it’s the start of a new week. There’s new case files to look through to decide if you’re doing to accept the client, supplementary material from old case files that you’ve asked for to review, notes and evidence belonging to associates’ cases that you said you’d give your opinion on – all mixed into one big pile.
You liked it though, liked staying busy. It was a good distraction from a loss, the ability to win, the ability to prove to yourself and to the world that you’re good at what you do. There are all sorts of awards and pieces of paper displayed on the walls of your office that show that you’re good, but still, there’s nothing like a strong win after a frustrating loss.
But you’re not even halfway through reading the first folder, when Neisha knocks on your door and opens it slowly, a look of preemptive apology on her face.
“I’m afraid you’re going to need to cancel your eleven o’clock.” She says, and you can tell by the tone of her voice that there’s no use in trying to argue with her.
You let the folder fall down onto the desk, and brace yourself for whatever bombshell she’s about to drop on you, what could possibly be so important for you to have to reschedule one of the biggest meetings of your career. They would understand, you’re sure.
You hope, anyway.
“Who is it?” Your tone is already filled with dread, but a resigned kind of dread, knowing that whatever it must be, it has to be big, and you’re the only one in this entire fucking firm who can handle big things like this – it was the reason they wanted you for partner in the first place.
But Neisha hesitates with this response, scratches the back of her neck in a way that makes you instantly curious.
“I…I was instructed not to say, just that you’ve been requested to meet with them regarding representation.” She tells you, and now your headache pounds even harder.
Clients didn’t withhold their identity from you; some used an alias of course, but you can’t say that so far in your career you’ve had a completely anonymous client. Whoever this person was, had to either be royalty, or something very very close.
And though that meant there was going to be a nightmare of a trial – because these high profile people almost never got to simple settle, not when the prosecutor wants to make a show of prosecuting them – you can’t help but think that would be a pretty good notch in your beltloop, as it were.
“Alright, where are they?” You’re already up and away from your desk, shuffling the case files into a locked cabinet.
“Rikers.” She says straight away, and you let out a groan.
“Of course they are.”
You had almost hoped that whoever this mystery client was, they had posted bail and could meet at a nice neutral location. You didn’t have anything against Rikers personally, but rather the entire prison industrial complex as a whole, and as far as New York prisons went, there were few more infamous for being unnecessarily brutal than Rikers Island.
“I can call them back and tell them you’re busy…but they sounded adamant about wanting you in particular.” Neisha nudges gently, and really there’s no need to butter you up, you’ve already made up your mind.
“I’m guessing they didn’t tell you why?” You ask, even though you know the answer.
“Correct.” She replies with a sheepish shrug.
You look at her, at your watch, at your phone screen which shows no new notifications from the last time that you checked it, and you square your shoulders.  
“Alright, reschedule the eleven o’clock, and let’s get out of here before Holdo freaks the fuck out on me for that.” You say, grabbing your coffee and a few more of the pastries to take in the car with you for the drive.
                                           ----------------------------
Most times, you have no problem taking the subway wherever you need to get, but visiting Rikers wasn’t as easy as hopping off the train and walking a couple blocks. For times like these, you and Neisha take one of the company cars, a sleek and shiny black thing with dark tinted windows. Cars really aren’t practical in the city, which is why you don’t have one of your own, but it was nice to be driven around from time to time in the peace and quiet of a car like this.
Normally, visitors are not allowed on Mondays or Tuesdays, but you’re not a normal person, and you’re not here for a normal visit, so once you pass through the security gate, the K-9 unit and the metal detector security tests with ease, you find it a pretty quiet lobby.
“Good afternoon Ms. (L/N), here on official duty?” One of the correctional officers that sits up by the front visitation desk beams at you.
“No, I just missed you Jake.” You reply, fishing out your identification for him even though he really doesn’t need it. Jake has worked there only a year or so, and every time you see him you can’t help but think he’s young, too young for this job, you think, too young to become desensitized to the humanity of incarcerated individuals. But that’s not a conversation that you’re here to have today, so instead you keep up the chitchat with, “How’s Lottie and the kids?”
“They’re good, who are you here for?” Jake asks as a matter of protocol, and you give Neisha a look, before looking back at him.
“That’s just the thing, I don’t know. I wasn’t informed for confidentiality reasons.” You try to explain, before leaning forward and mock-whispering to him, “Please tell me someone has me on the list and I didn’t drive all this way for nothing.”
Jake laughs, a sound that feels out of place in a place like this, and pulls something up on his computer. You can’t really see it, the list, and that’s okay. Whoever this mysterious person is, you’ll find out within just a few minutes.
“You know the drill, they’re waiting for you in the back.” Jake waves you off, and you’re glad to go.
“Wait out here.” You tell Neisha, who clearly looks uncomfortable even being in the lobby, and with good reason. She doesn’t argue you on that, instead takes a seat on a bench near Jake’s table, and the two of them get to chatting while your boots click on the floors as you walk away.
There’s a couple different visitation areas in the jail, and the deeper into the building you go, the more that you’re glad that visitation isn’t allowed on Mondays. You don’t want the chance of running into someone that you had failed. Granted there had only been a handful of those instances, but the thought of any one of them being here is not outside the realm of possibility.
Through the sea of empty tables and chairs that are reserved for long term inmates who happen to have visitation privileges for good behavior, you find yourself moving deeper and deeper, until you’re at the door of another room, a closed off one more typical to that seen in movies and television shows.
Opening the door, you hang in the hallway to confirm that there’s no one else there, as there shouldn’t be. There’s eight stations, four on each side of the small room, with a phone and a pane of bulletproof glass. Right away, you have a feeling this is going to be a murder trial, if they’re not even letting you meet with the client out in the open, if they’re monitoring the phone conversation that you’re about to have.
You see a shuffle of movement out of the corner of your eye, and assume that that’s who you’re here to meet, so with your chin held high, you step into the room, and make your way to the visitation booth where a man in a bright orange jumpsuit is waiting on the other side of the glass.
Stopping as quickly as you’ve started, you stand frozen in the middle of the room, blinking away and desperately shoving aside a wave of feelings that have crashed over you at the familiar face behind the glass.
The dark hair, the deep eyes, that proud nose, those full lips, you take it all in with some strange sense of disbelief – surely this must be a dream? It has to be, even as you sit on the little stool and yank the phone off the wall, shoving it against your ear, not even knowing where to start as you try to wrap your mind around the fact that the man, this mystery client…
“Hey sweetheart.” He says, and you could smack him upside the head if only there weren’t this glass between you and Kylo Ren.
                                         ----------------------------
Tagging some pals, please let me know if you’d like to be added to or taken off the taglist! @safarigirlsp​ @steeevienicks​ @mochabucky​ @sacklerscumrag​ @artsymaddie​ @bitchydecisions​ @direnightshade​ @reyloaddict55​ @kylorenswhxre​ @sunflowersinthesnow​ @mousemakingjam @the-unmanaged-mischief​ @drake-bells-waxed-penis @littleevilme13 @rennaissance-mama @materialisthicc​ 
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1rintooru · 3 years
Text
Little Agreements
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Pairing: teacher! Sugawara Koshi x gn! reader
Themes: fluff, enemies to lovers 
Word Count: 2k one-shot
Warnings: light swearing - that’s all!
Summary: You and Sugawara are rival teachers at a reputable elementary school. Even though you can hardly stand each other, your students have started shipping you together and it’s just awfully annoying! Little do they know, you’ve been keeping a secret from them the entire time.
a/n: teacher suga is good suga... this was so fun to write and purely self-indulgent - i can't get him outta my fat brain🥴 but enjoy anyways..!
You clicked your pen once. Twice. Three times. Perhaps to an outsider it would appear that you were annoyed – impatient even, but you knew it was nothing more than a habit, much like the restless tapping of your foot or improper care kept to personal belongings. You eyed the worn-down mathematics book that was currently being hastily shoved into a backpack, the spine barely keeping the pages glued together.
“Looks like you’re all set to go,” you proclaimed, putting down your pen and eyeing the student in front you. The boy beamed, yanking the zipper of his backpack shut and throwing it over his shoulder.
“Couldn’t have done it without ya, teach!”
You nodded and smiled appreciatively. You were flattered but you couldn’t take all the credit. The boy you were tutoring for a couple weeks now always claimed he didn’t care for school; you still remembered how he once told you that sports were ‘where it’s at’ – whatever that meant. However, the improved grades paired with the purple shadows under his eyes told you an entirely different story. He’d made his way to the door, his hand already grasping the handle before turning around, an impish grin plastered on his face.
“Even though you and Sugawara-sensei are cute together, we’re still gonna beat your butts!”
You bolted out of your seat and glowered at the young boy.
“Don’t you have other classes to tend to?”
He smirked at your chagrin.
“I’ll see ya around!” he shouted, sending you a quick a wave goodbye before finally leaving the room. You plopped back into your seat upon hearing the door close behind the student, rubbing your temple discontentedly.
Ah. Of course.
How could you forget the school speed quiz? It was an annual event that the school implemented three years ago as a means to motivate students and raise class scores. The idea was that a group of children would be chosen to represent their class and be quizzed on a variety of subjects – the questions becoming increasingly difficult as the game progressed. At the time you sneered at the idea and even complained to the school director that it would only waste funds and resources. Now you were glad that he didn’t listen to you, though he could have skipped laughing in your face. With that being said, the event was a double-edged sword. It made you incredibly happy and filled you with pride seeing students find the joy in learning again, but on the other hand it only exacerbated the teasing comments from the students. They adored seeing you two together and you never could quite wrap your head around it. After all, you and Sugawara were rivals.
Your eyes darted down to your wristwatch: fifteen minutes left until next period. Not a whole lot of time, but just enough to shotgun a coffee and have snack in the solace of the staffroom. You hurriedly tidied the mess on your desk, arranging everything to your liking for the next class before finally stepping out into the bustling commotion of the school hallway. Excited chitter-chatter and non-discreet gossip filled halls as you found yourself surrounded by young children. Each face was familiar and you could have assigned a name to every single one. Even the tall one with fluffy gray hair and gentle brown eyes with the recognizable birthmark.
Wait, no – that’s no child; that’s Sugawara.
He walked towards you with a pep in his step and a bright grin, parting the busy hallway like Moses as students stared at him slack-jawed and awestruck. He was the school celebrity, proven by the sheer number of students that called out to him as he passed – and he loved it. You tried to swerve around him, but it was surprisingly difficult to escape through a sea of grade schoolers.
Damn it, just when you were looking forward to that coffee!
“Here, like I promised.”
Sugawara’s voice rang clearly as he firmly pressed a stack of essays into your hands, the weight of the stack momentarily catching you off guard. Your eyes instinctively scanned the first page laying on top. As per usual, your students performed well in academic pursuits but that wasn’t what bothered you.
“Green glitter gel pen?” you teased, lifting an eyebrow questioningly.
His hazel eyes gleamed confidently. “Hey, we agreed that I would help grade assignments that you couldn’t catch up on – you never said I couldn’t use my colored pens!” He mirrored your teasing lilt before continuing. “Besides, from a psychological standpoint the color green is more uplifting and motivational than a harsh red.”
He wasn’t entirely wrong. You both had agreed that you would tutor his students in mathematics and sciences while he would help grade assignments to take some of the workload off your plate. But that didn’t make his claim any more convincing and it only made you roll your eyes disparagingly.
“That pseudo-science is why I’m the one tutoring your students.”
“Geez, point made Y/N!” he scratched his head embarrassedly, the other hand defensively creating a barrier between the two of you.
“Y/L/N,” you quickly corrected him.
Sugawara’s posture visibly deflated at the curtness of your words. As mature and gentle as he was, he had a tendency to have his heart on his sleeve. You felt a little guilty and even considered saying something to mince your words, but the opportunity was stolen from you as a group of young girls skipped past, snickering as they went.
“Oh my god, Y/L/N-sensei and Suga-senpai are flirting again!”
Your secure stance faltered as the unsuspecting comment hit you like a brick, nearly making you drop all your papers. Sugawara’s eyebrow quirked upwards, thoroughly amused by your loss of composure. You hoped that the heat you felt in your face couldn’t be seen from the outside as you gingerly smoothed out the folds of your sweater.
“Suga-senpai?”
Sugawara’s playful grin immediately dropped as he noticed the daggers you glared at him.
“Huh?! A-ah it’s not like I told them to call me that! It – it just kinda happened.”
Seeing him so flustered would normally have made you smile, but you weren’t going to give him any kind of reassurance. Besides, it would have only worked as ammunition for privy students stalking your conversation. So instead, you simply shook your head, an exasperated sigh just barely escaping from your pursed lips.
“Well, if you don’t mind, I have a coffee waiting for me – and you have recess duty, have you already forgotten? So, if you’ll excuse me.”
You gave him a patronizing poke on the shoulder as you moved past him, beelining towards the staffroom.
The two of you were so vastly different in your teaching methods. You took your work seriously and prided yourself in the academic success of your students – your class always scored extraordinarily well. You were stern but incredibly ambitious and dedicated to your craft. Sure, Sugawara was popular with the kids, but playing the role as best friend wasn’t going to help them pass their classes. You failed to understand why most of the schoolchildren were obsessed with you two being an intimate couple; even prior to the school speed quiz event the two of you were rivals. His laissez-faire teaching methods didn’t mesh well with your own – in fact, you resented them. That’s why it was akin to pouring salt into a fresh wound when each year your respective classes tied during the annual event.
You decided to ignore the thought. This year was going to be different.
****
Oh, how you loved being the one responsible for cleanup duty.
At least, that’s what you would say if it weren’t that you were the only one responsible for cleanup duty.
As you watched one of your students – a petite girl with long dark hair – collect a pile of dirt into a plastic dustpan, you began to wonder how Sugawara roped you into this. Again. You and him had a lot of agreements, for the sake of professionalism of course, but this was not one of them. The school day seemed to drudge on forever and you were not spared from any incessant comments, even in its final moments. Ironically, one of your pupils turned into somewhat of a teacher as they explained to you what ‘shipping’ and ‘OTP’ meant.
Why on earth would they consider you and Sugawara something like that?
You dismissed the remaining students after carefully examining the room. The floors were cleaned and the whiteboard was spotless, but the wastebasket hadn’t been emptied and the desk arrangement was crooked. It wasn’t exactly up to par with how you usually left the room, but you were no heathen and you noticed just how lethargic everyone was becoming.
You also needed to find a certain someone that deserved to be chewed out.
That certain someone was found in the school’s gymnasium, excitedly talking to the school volleyball team that was retiring for the night. The frustration you felt immediately melted once you saw how animated Sugawara became as you overheard his motivational tangent. His passion was infectious and easily fired up the young boys in yellow and blue jerseys listening to him.
Was this where Sugawara always disappeared off to?
It was a silly question, really. Seeing him zealously offer game strategies with the biggest grin on his face made the answer obvious. You cleared your throat, suddenly feeling awkward as all the children – and Sugawara – turned to face you. The boy you had tutored earlier today, now clad in a yellow jersey spoke first.
“Well teach, did ya know that Sugawara-sensei was a volleyball player in high school too? He was a setter, believe it or not!”
You could only stare dumbfounded as your eyes bounced back and forth between the braggadocious athlete and a proudly grinning Sugawara. The lack of response on your end began to unnerve the gray-haired man as the corners of his mouth began to twitch downwards and his eyes glossed over with doubt.
You shrugged, “I don’t really see it, honestly.”
The both of them gasped in unison. The young teen stared at you dumbstruck – his jaw would’ve hit the floor if it could, while Sugawara staggered backwards as if a spear had punctured him in the chest.
“She’s a tough cookie, Sugawara-sen–” the teen’s underhanded comment earned him a swift kick from his teacher.
“Well, I think it’s time to call it a night. How about we tidy up and retire for the evening?”
And just like that, Sugawara had roped you into another cleaning duty. Thankfully the volleyball team was still so fired up from his speech earlier that the tidying up went by remarkably fast. Eventually you and him stood alone in the building, after finally saying your goodbyes to the remaining kids.
He looked at you and cocked his head to the side, to which you nodded in response. Perhaps it was a simple unspoken agreement or maybe it was just a force of habit to head home together. Regardless, it was hard to imagine it any other way.
The cool autumn air greeted you the moment you stepped out of the gymnasium. Goosebumps pricked your skin as a crisp autumn breeze embraced you, sending a shiver down your spine. The sky had turned into a watercolor of fiery oranges and deep purples as evening drew closer. You glanced over to Sugawara, nestled in the layers of his scarf and his hands hidden in the pockets of his coat.
“Do you have regrets?”
Sugawara paused, brown and orange leaves twirled with the wind just short before his feet, but that wasn’t what stopped him. He was clearly perplexed by your question.
“Regrets?” He scrunched his nose as though the word itself repulsed him. He dug his hands deeper into the depths of his pockets and his features visibly softened as he pulled out a golden ring. It gleamed magnificently as the rays of the setting sun reflected off the band. Seeing him fit the ring snugly onto his finger prompted you to do the same, pulling out the velvet pouch that protected the ring within it. Sugawara smiled as he watched you slip the ring on, fondness etched into his features as he extended his hand towards you. You happily obliged and entangled your fingers in his.
“How could I ever have regrets with the life I have now?”
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sorcererrezan · 3 years
Text
golden hour
prompt fill for @ataleofcrowns. congratulations on the chapter 6 release cherry! 💛
prompt: facade pairing: navid/xelef  rating: T word count: 2,042 warning: spoilers for X’s scene during chapter 6!
Xelef is rather partial to the color gold.
Gold meant a full belly. Gold meant a job well done. Gold meant having survived yet another battle.
Gold motivated him and the people around him. Gold got him into trouble as easily as it got him out of it.
So when gold eyes looked defiantly into his, a spark of light brightening that nebulous place where his intuition resides, and dropped a heavy sack clinking with a familiar sound, there was no other option but to say yes.
Xelef’s not quite sure when he starts thinking of the flash of cleverness in Navid’s eyes more than the sparkle of coin. 
Just the night before, Heval forced him to examine this new tendency and why they haven’t yet moved on from Marabad. He’d resisted giving Heval the satisfaction of his admission at the time, but that was before his tendency powered his sprint to the tunnels and the burst of fire that kept Navid safe. 
If Xelef’s urgency directed his aim closer to the kill than he intended, it was only because he wanted to do a thorough job. Certainly not because for a split second, the jagged edges of fear pierced through the hard acceptance that has fused with the shell of his heart. 
That was before he discovered just how common of an enemy he and Navid have. Before gold also became something to defend instead of just throw at his leisure.
He didn’t divulge anything to the Blades besides the public warning that the Palace issued—which he still disagrees with, but spirits know there’s a reason it’s not him making those decisions. 
Xelef felt Heval’s questioning suspicion curb somewhat, as well as the Blades’ recommitment to Navid. It helped him regain some stability in himself. As long as he’s not the only one with a soft spot for the newfound Crown he can tell himself that the way Navid affects him isn’t unique. 
None of them had embraced Navid until his tears and the grip of his nightmare dissipated though. The intensity of Navid’s vulnerability had stunned him that night. Xelef thinks he might be able to relate to the way that his walls must have crumbled under their own weight during that moment, when the relief of a mission accomplished finally gave way to exhaustion. If he ever experiences it for himself, that is. 
Instead of being unsettled by the raw display of emotion he’d had to insist on leaving Navid behind, lest the way his eyes wavered like coins at the bottom of a fountain compelled him to do something neither of them were ready for. 
Despite the magnetic tension between them, he knows that they don’t trust each other. He’d considered Navid’s feelings only briefly when he conceived his plan before deciding to just deal with the consequences. 
Well, now here they are. He’d anticipated how Navid might feel once his shrewd mind pieced it all together, but Xelef hadn’t foreseen how much he’d care. 
It needles at him, the way Navid takes his motivations regarding coin at face value when they discuss the coronation. And it needles at him that it needles at him. That’s what he wants the Crown to believe anyway, right? 
The dissonance isn’t really something he wants to entertain so he distracts himself by distracting Navid. 
It’s rather more fun to catch the Crown staring at him than contemplate why there’s a kernel of him that anticipates an opportunity to be seen. Not just looked at as he so often is, up for strangers’ interpretation as he is now so used to, but seen. 
The gold in Navid’s eyes is alive in a way coin could never be. There’s a playfulness that seems to live in Navid’s irises, which Xelef’s learning is partly a diversion for the cunning survivalist underneath. 
Xelef stares right back, shameless in the way he parts the seam of his lips to drag his tongue across the bottom before letting Navid see how the plump softness of it gives under his thumb. He delights in darkening that sparkling mischief into something imaginative and promising and it’s not long before he gives the two of them a reason to leave the room together. The indulgently sly way that Navid looks at him insists that Xelef get him alone. 
Awareness thrums between them as they walk together, but he can sense a contemplative mix of emotions from the man next to him. It’s enough to make him curious. “What are you thinking about?” 
“Oh, nothing much, only the fact that I’m now responsible for millions of lives,” Navid is just as practiced as he is at showing who he’s supposed to be. If Xelef couldn’t sense his anxiety he might’ve believed his blithe tone.
The stakes are high and Xelef can feel the weight of that reality on Navid’s shoulders as if it sits on him like a pauldron. It’d be a flattering and dashing pauldron the way Navid wears it, but a symbol of conflict and its inevitable consequences nonetheless. 
Xelef meets the slight bite of Navid’s sarcasm with his pragmatism, forged in fire and quenched to harden like steel. “If you obsess over the weight of your choices, you’ll become paralyzed by fear, and in that state you’re of no use to anyone.”
Navid eyes are sharp as he seems to consider not just his words but also his intent. Whatever he decides to himself seems to satisfy him because some of the spark in his eyes returns. Xelef wonders what conclusion Navid came to, to look at him like he knows something Xelef doesn’t. 
He thinks he sees some relief in there too, and Xelef tells himself it relieves him in turn because he needs the Crown to be clear-headed and not because of the possibility that sharing his genuine perspective might have made him rise in Navid’s esteem.
“Don’t look so surprised,” Xelef steers them back into familiar waters with a self-satisfied twist of his lips. “I’m not just a pretty face, you know.”
Navid lets out a huff of a chuckle. He must be more exhausted than he let on because they slide into silence again. Xelef’s attempt at distracting Navid is successful though and soon enough he’s unable to contain his amusement. Xelef puffs up at the suggestion of his altruism, sliding back into the easy role of carefree rogue. 
“Altruistic? Pah! Disgusting.”
But Navid promptly tugs at his facade. “You can drop the act, you know. I know you’re not wholly selfish at heart.”
“Is that what you really think, or is that what you hope for?” A devious rhythm softens the quick reflexes of his defenses even as his heart starts to race. Being exposed is terrifyingly thrilling. Or thrillingly terrifying. Both? 
“You do like to perform. The role of carefree mercenary suits you well, I admit. But that can’t be all that there is to you.”
Navid pins him with piercing gold and Xelef hardly realizes as he’s backed against a window. It’s been a long time since anyone cared to find out who he really is as much as Navid ostensibly does. 
Navid steps close enough that he has to tilt his chin down to hold his gaze and even he can’t deny that the proximity makes him feel like a live wire, like his pulse itself might jump out of his skin so it can press against the man who’s always so tantalizingly near.
Xelef considers that he might have met his match in Navid with a smirk.
Navid already has a decently apt approximation of him, despite Xelef’s penchant for misdirection and the fact that they’ve only really known each other a handful of days. Xelef’s moved quickly in the past but never quite like this. 
But then again, nothing gets him into trouble as easily as gold.
“Navid.” 
Xelef reaches a hand out, soothing a knuckle against the slightly puckered scar on Navid’s cheek. He’ll have to ask him the story behind it soon.
“If you wish for me to treat you tenderly, you need only ask.”
It comes out as a gentler murmur than he intends. Xelef doesn’t need to speak up to be heard after all, with how much closer Navid gets as he anchors a rough hand on top of his. It’s as close to an acknowledgement of Xelef’s complex and often contradictory thoughts and emotions about the man in front of him—the ones he prefers to leave unaddressed because they leave him feeling uncomfortably bare.
“Don’t tempt me, Xelef,” Navid’s voice is rough with restraint as his thick brows furrow with caution. “I’ll start believing you.”
“I lie about a lot of things, my dark-haired beauty, but never about this.”
“That’s a lie,” Navid purses his lips, eyes narrowing even as he considers his own assertion. It’s a look that Xelef has seen on him before, usually around a table with others, as Navid weighs the reality of what he knows against the possibilities of what he doesn’t to figure out how to move forward.
Just like earlier, Xelef feels the foreign compulsion for Navid to have confidence in him. It’s been a while since he cared to prove himself to anyone, and even now his better sense is reminding him that the distance he places between himself and others is there out of necessity. If he weren’t deep in the shit of it he’d find it amusingly fitting that they can both see glimpses past each other’s bravado. Of course the person that interests him most is also the one that directly challenges him to leave the familiarity of his facade.
“Perhaps.”
He doesn’t confirm or deny it, though it’s getting harder and harder to ignore his hope that Navid will just figure it out and acknowledge it for both of their sakes. Whether his evasiveness is a test of Navid’s understanding of him or his own hesitation to be understood, he can’t determine. 
Neither can Navid it seems, because he redirects them to less murky waters. “And what is this, exactly?”
Xelef doesn’t answer immediately, taking his time to admire the sharp lines of Navid’s handsome face to reinforce his memory of it for later, after they part for the night.
“Right now? I would call this a flirtation,” this part is easy to admit. Flirtation comes naturally to both of them. He’s noticed the easy compliments Navid gives to others, how he effortlessly keeps those he thinks he might have use for close. His motives seem genuine enough—Xelef himself knows what the line between manipulation and exploitation looks like—though his charisma certainly has a craftily calculating edge to it. 
“But we can make it anything you want it to be.”
Xelef leaves the rest up to Navid’s astute interpretation. An acute sense of anticipation holds him in place as Navid opens his mouth to respond and Xelef internally wills him to see—
—Magic displaces above Navid’s head, and the breath Xelef had been holding spills out as a laugh. Whatever Navid was about to say is swept up in him trying to recover from the spirits giving him away. 
Ah well. At least he’ll have something to tease Navid about later.
Xelef doesn’t question how easy it is to insist that he keep his dagger with him. What would it mean if he and Navid use the same blade the first time they have to kill? Maybe it wouldn’t mean anything at all, but it reassures him that even if he’s away he can still be there for Navid when it happens, when the world inexorably reminds him of why he’ll always have to protect himself.
Is that altruism? When he tries to correct his own buried regrets by helping someone else avoid having the same ones?
Even more questions he’s not sure he wants to find the answers to. 
But when he feels Navid’s resolve solidify inside him, sees the squaring of his shoulders as he lifts his gaze from the designs on his door and takes a steadying breath before stepping inside, Xelef knows he’ll have to accept that it might not end up being up to him anyway.
Gold just might be the death of him.
fin.
author’s note: i’ve been wanting to do a character study in X’s perspective for a while and there were so many LAYERS to their scene in chapter 6 that i took a one word prompt and wrote two thousand words about it lmao. i wanted to explore the duality between X’s persona and their actions and set a starting point for them early in the romance. 
there’s a really delicious tension right now when they’re not acknowledging their deeper interest in the crown despite the fact that they’re always eye fucking whenever they can so much as see each other. i also wanted to play with the fact that they both know that there’s more than meets the eye and ALSO that they’re being manipulated in the grander scheme of their own personal agendas. 
i also wanted to mold navid’s characterization from the perspective of someone trying to resist falling in love with him. spoiler alert X, it’s impossible. anyways! so many thoughts, head full of X. hope i did my favorite royal boy toy justice 🤎
91 notes · View notes
basilisklist · 3 years
Text
harry/voldemort (m/m)
“Haunted and Hunted” (2 part series) by ObsidianPen
-Mine (30,168 words) complete
-Hauntingly (162,488 words) in progress
harry/voldemort
Mine- “After the incident at the Department of Mysteries, Lord Voldemort discovers what Harry Potter is. He reaches out to his human horcrux through dreams, and the course of the Second Wizarding War is forever altered.”
“A dark fairy tale.”
Hauntingly- “What wouldn't I do to place my hand against your chest; to feel your heart beating strong, your breath is my soul, your pulse is my song.”
“A story of obsession.”
Haunted and Hunted - ObsidianPen - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Custos Vitae” by silver_Ivy
(55,814 words) in progress
harry/voldemort
“Harry can’t let his friends die like Sirius. Crushed under Voldemort’s war until everyone that he loves becomes mangled corpses. So, Harry casts a ritual that will slowly kill him in order to afford them safety. It doesn’t matter what happens after that, but being captured by Lord Voldemort wasn’t what he had in mind.”
Custos Vitae - Chapter 1 - Silver_Ivy - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Two Words in Green Ink” by Fluorescencx
(91,227 words) in progress
soulmate tattoos
harry/voldemort
“Eleven year old Harry didn't know how he knew--he didn't even know what it was he knew--but as he stood in Olivander's shop with Hagrid, he vowed that he would never tell a soul about the two words written on his wrist.”
“Avada Kedavra.”
“a story of souls told in three parts”
Two Words in Green Ink - Chapter 1 - Fluorescencx - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“The Fall” by Lostfadingthoughts
(67,457 words) in progress
harry/voldemort
harry/draco
“A last minute desperation causes the downfall and kidnapping of Harry Potter. Instead of killing him, Voldemort decides to keep him but why won't he talk to Harry? Why does that bother Harry at all? Alternate route from the Forbidden Forest scene.”
The Fall - Chapter 1 - Lostfadingthoughts - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“The Left Words” by authoresswithoutwords
(234,787 words) complete
soulmate tattoos
harry/voldemort
“Harry has some weird words on his left wrist. That must be one of those strange things that Aunt Petunia hates so much. But it's okay! He likes them. Then, it all turns even weirder. Hogwarts, magic, a Headmaster and a Dark Lord await Harry - he would prefer if they all just left him alone, thank you very much. But when has it ever mattered what Harry wants?”
The Left Words - Chapter 1- Authoresswithoutwords - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“But I Can Break You” (2 part series) by NeuroWriter14
-But I Can Break You (82,942 words) complete
-Nineteen Years Later (3,780 words) complete
harry/voldemort
But I Can Break You- “Voldemort figures out that Harry is his unintentional human horcrux and finds a way to infiltrate Hogwarts under Dumbledore's nose to try to get his hands on Harry Potter.”
Nineteen Years Later- “Nineteen years after the fall of Voldemort, Harry and Tom are living their best lives together.”
But I Can Break You - NeuroWriter14 - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Take me away” by selfproclaimed_princess
(56,501 words) in progress
harry/voldemort
“Giggling turns into a laugh as he goes ballistic, laughing so hard that he coughs up blood. ‘Just my luck, here i am lying on this fucking bed with blood loss and the great dark lord decides to pay me a visit!’ He says gleefully, voice raspy.”
“Voldemort sneers at Harry. ‘Potter. Have you truly lost your damn mind?’ He spits out.”
“‘Well, hello to you too. Here to kill me, Tom?’ He says, sitting and leaning his frail body on the wooden wall.”
Take me away - Chapter 1 - selfproclaimed_princess - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Elusion” by Quillbreaker
(175,405 words) in progress
harry/voldemort
“Harry knows that he is dying. He just wants to elude Voldemort until death catches up with him.”
Elusion - Chapter 1 - Quillbreaker - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Things I love in this World” by awesome122316
(131,741 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“Harry's life is hard, but when he suffers another loss, he is pushed to the edge and intends to be killed at Voldemort's hand to end everything he hates in the world, but something unexpected happens.”
Things I love in this World - Chapter 1 - awesome122316 - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“occulta proditione” by goldenhjp
(25,174 words) in progress
harry goes back in time to his past self
vampire harry
harry/voldemort
“Waking up in the past in his fourth year, Harry finally gets the chance to start his life over. His friends and everyone he knew betrayed him and he will get his revenge. Even a Dark Lord hanging around him won't dampen his mood.”
occulta proditione - Chapter 1 - harryxtomr - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Family Trait” by livanainen [archieved by HPFandom_archivist]
(159,571 words) complete
harry/voldemort
harry/draco
“Harry is alone at Privet Drive, doing practically nothing until Voldemort pops up in his head. Being lonely, and Voldemort insisting in not leaving, they talk. Harry finds out a few facts he didn’t know, leaving him both confused and crying, and excited. What will the Gryffindor Golden Boy do when he’s coming to stay at Riddle Manor for the summer, and learn exactly how far Dumbledore’s manipulations go?”
Family Trait - Chapter 1 - HPFandom_archivist - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“To Kill You With a Kiss” by Paimpoint
(88,791 words) complete
time travel
harry/voldemort
“After Dumbledore's death, Harry searches for answers in the Pensieve. But something goes wrong. Trapped inside a memory, Harry finds himself back at Hogwarts in 1945 where he meets an 18 year old Tom Riddle teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.”
To Kill You With a Kiss - Chapter 1 - Paimpont - Harry Potter - Fandom
“REST IN SILENCE” by RewriteParagraph
(168,854) words
harry/voldemort
“‘Oh, there are many things I could do with you Harry.’ The undertone of his words rang through the air like a crack of a whip and Harry flinched. ‘And with the Horcrux embedded within you.’”
“‘Try it. See what happens.’ Potter seethed.  Then Voldemort charged forward in a blink. After they both danced upon the bones of his father, Voldemort discovers Harry Potter is the seventh Horcrux he never intended to make. This changes everything.”
“A ceasefire is agreed, Harry Potter is collateral - the target of Voldemort's newest, most potent obsession and, Death has come knocking.”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21020798/chapters/50246147?utf8=%E2%9C%93&selected_id=49996529&commit=Go
“Second Chances” by Slayer_of_Destiny
(100,607 words)
mpreg
harry/voldemort
“Fate decides to play with Harry's life again, giving him a chance at a family but with the most shocking father for his child. After the Order lock him up Harry flees to the father where they both may get a second chance.”
Second Chances - Chapter 1 - Slayer_of_Destiny - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Deadly Eyes of a Phoenix Reborn” by Watermelonsmellinfellon
(196,795 words) complete
harry/voldemort
harry/viktor krum
“In the summer after his second year, something unexpected happens to Harry. Changes are occurring, though he doesn't know it. What will he do when he realizes that the Basilisk venom and the Phoenix tears are turning him into something new entirely? How will this change the outcome against Voldemort? What will happen?”
Deadly Eyes of a Phoenix Reborn - Chapter 1 - Watermelonsmellinfellon - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“In Somno Veritas” by ansketil, ladyoflilacs
(158,090 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“‘Are you often in my dreams, Harry? I have not touched your mind since our little encounter at the Department of Mysteries...and yet here you are... saving me in my nightmares.’”
In Somno Veritas - Chapter 1 - ansketil, ladyoflilacs - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Silk Roads” by GenderlessPerson
(155,760 words)
harry/voldemort
“When the road you're on is already on the verge of crumbling, you could either choose to foolishly continue onward, or turn back and change paths. Harry decided on the latter.”
Silk Roads - Chapter 1 - GenderlessPerson - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“The Consequences of A Binding Ritual” by teacup_angel
(171,023 words)
harry/voldemort
“Forced to be the fourth champion in the Triwizard Tournament and shunned by Hogwarts and the rest of the Wizarding World, Harry finds comfort in the silence of the Chambers of Secrets. Explorations of the Chambers turns up more rooms and information than he expected. One of which is a ritual that is called 'Slytherin Binding Ritual'. Thinking it meant binding Salazar Slytherin's ghost to him and thinking 'meh, not like I'm gonna lose anything', Harry performs the ritual without even thinking of researching more about it. He forgot one of the most important thing in the world. He's Fate's personal chew toy.”
The Consequences of A Binding Ritual - Chapter 1 - teecup_angel - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Save Yourself” by sunshineglow118
(85,919 words)
harry/voldemort
“This summer was the breaking point for Harry Potter. On top of the verbal and physical abuse he went through, he now has to compete in a competition he did not sign up for. Harry's 'friends' have abandoned him, his teachers not believing him and he is left to fend for himself. Harry sneaks down to the Chamber of Secrets to release tension and panic in private but ends up discovering Slytherin's Personal Library. Armed with magic, shielded by a Horcrux he discovers inside himself, Harry vows to no longer become victim to manipulation. In doing so, Harry breaks the hold that was on his magic, discovers his creature inheritance and maybe ends up saving the world with his so thought enemy.”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/9710798
“Miracle of Deliverance” by Ellia Bronsky
(56,603 words)
mpreg
harry/voldemort
“Harry Potter gets captured by Death Eaters. An accidental encounter during his time in captivity leads to an unexpected outcome, as well as some shocking revelations turning Harry's world upside down.”
Miracle of Deliverance - Ellia Bronsky (Ellia_Bronsky) - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“The Definition of Insanity” by Anacharis
(56,887 words)
master of death
harry/voldemort
“An infinitesimal change at Malfoy Manor results in the early discovery that Harry has become Master of Death. What will the Boy Who Lived do with Death itself as an ally? Haunt the Dark Lord like a fucking ghost and cram humanity down his throat, of course. A sexy black comedy.”
The Definition of Insanity - Chapter 1 - Anacharis - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“The Snake in the Lion’s Den” by JasminSky
(95,720 words)
harry/voldemort
“‘Ah, Professor Quirrell…or should I say Lord Voldemort?’ One question with which one world ends while another begins. Harry Potter steps through the flames of the last obstacle on the way to the Philosopher's Stone in order to vanquish Voldemort as everyone thinks. On the other hand…does he?”
The Snake in the Lion's Den - Chapter 1 - JasminSky - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Kitten Troubles” by Ttiiggeerr
(40,814 words)
harry/voldemort
“During the Final Battle Voldemort is turned into a kitten and Harry takes him home thinking he's a homeless, motherless kitten. Will Voldemort stay like this forever? Will Harry figure out who it is? And what will happen when he finds himself caring about the one person he was supposed to hate?”
Fanfic: Kitten Troubles Ch 1, Harry Potter
“Chimera” by shadowscribe
(35,304 words)
harry/voldemort
chi·me·ra (noun): “a thing that is hoped or wished for but in fact is illusory or impossible to achieve; an impossible dream.”
“Harry Potter arrives at Hogwarts on September 1, 1991 and is everything the wizarding world expects. He is the Boy Who Lived: a brave, brash Gryffindor who will stand as a beacon for the Light. It's almost a pity that it's all a lie.”
“(OR: Harry is taken from the Dursely's by a resurrected Voldemort and raised by loyal Death Eaters. To the world he's the Light's Golden Boy but his true self exists beneath a delicate bone mask and stands as the Dark Lord's equal)”
Chimera - Chapter 1 - shadowscribe - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“on top of the world” by amillionhopes
(46,687 words)
harry/voldemort
“The moment when he appeared on that rooftop, the wind blowing in his hair, the people below him like ants… that was when he became different. or a Harry that has ambitions and refuses to settle for anything less than to be the best.”
on top of the world
“nevermind the end” by slexenskee
(76,754 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“Meanwhile, Harry and Voldemort have a lot of sex. This started out as serious non-con porn and then somehow ended up with hardcore feels and a possible existential crisis.”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/3099083
“Boredom and Secrets” by XxXxDarkVampirexXxX
(40,701 words)
harry/voldemort
“A very bored Harry Potter starts writing to the Dark Lord over the summer after his fifth year at Hogwarts. An equally bored Voldemort decides to write back. And thus, a summer of secrets is born, and the enemy named boredom is fended off.”
Boredom and Secrets - Chapter 1 - XxXxDarkVampirexXxX - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Embracing His True Self” by DebsTheSlytherinSnapefan
(503,597 words)
harry/voldemort (tom)
“What if Harry didn't want to fight Voldemort? What if he was fed up with the light side judging him constantly and wants to be his true self? The Slytherin side that he had squashed in a bid to fit in and be accepted? Realizing he never would...what of the prophecy? Could they overcome it? Will Voldemort even give him a chance?”
Embracing His True Self - Chapter 1 - DebsTheSlytherinSnapeFan - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“His Twenty-Eighth Life” by Lomonaaeren
(224,782 words)
harry/voldemort
“Harry Potter  has been reborn again and again into new bodies as the Master of Death, some of them not human, none of them exactly like his old one—but he has always helped to defeat Voldemort in each new world. Now he’s Harry Potter again, but his slightly older brother is the target of the prophecy, and Harry assumes his role is going to be to support Jonathan in his defeat of Voldemort. At least, that’s what he thinks until Voldemort comes that Halloween night, discovers what Harry is, and kidnaps him. The story of a long fight between Voldemort’s sadism and Harry’s generosity.”
His Twenty-Eighth Life - Chapter 1 - Lomonaaeren - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Surrender” by Paimpont
(66,670 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“Harry writes a letter of surrender to Voldemort. The Dark Lord is intrigued.”
Fanfic: Surrender Ch 1, Harry Potter
“Possession” by Jade Tatsu
(122,861 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“The Dark Lord has always known what belongs to him but claiming possession might take longer than he thought and lead to betrayal but with the power such as he wields who dares?”
Fanfic: Possession Ch 1, Harry Potter
“A Snake Named Voldemort” by estalita11
(173,220 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“After being turned into a snake and unable to change back, Lord Voldemort is forced to turn to the only other living Parselmouth, Harry Potter. After making a deal, Harry agrees to help the Dark Lord return to his human form.”
A Snake Named Voldemort - Chapter 1 - estalita11 - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Eye of the Beholder” by TheSecretUchiha
(65,683 words)
harry/voldemort
“For years it remained hidden behind a patch, his glimpse into another life. But when he reaches Hogwarts, this sight, and the mind it leads him to, will help him see the other side of the playing field.”
Fanfic: Eye of the Beholder Ch 1, Harry Potter
“Paradise Lost” by Neka-chan -Silvered Tongue
(96,214 words)
harry/voldemort
“With one question posed to the Sorting Hat, Harry Potter's life changes completely.”
Fanfic: Paradise Lost Ch 1, Harry Potter
“Either must die at the hand of the other” by Metalomagnetic
(89,431 words) in progress
harry/voldemort
“Voldemort survives the Battle of Hogwarts because Harry Potter had not been the one to kill him, as the prophecy demands.”
Either must die at the hand of the other - Chapter 1 - Metal Magnetic - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Butterfly” by AislingSiobhan
(201,697 words) complete
harry/voldemort
harry/lucius
“When Harry was 5 he had a pet butterfly. The butterfly could turn into a man who lived in Harry’s basement. That man killed Vernon when Harry turned 8. That man is a Death Eater who has been training Harry in how to be a proper Pureblood Heir. Harry was always told he was a bit like a Caterpillar and one day he’d be a Butterfly too. Sorted into Ravenclaw, when he starts Hogwarts, Harry learns that sometimes it’s much harder to keep secrets than it is to tell lies. But it could be worse: he could have been a Slytherin. As if enough people didn’t look at him funny already!”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/391351/chapters/642269
“An I for an I” by lordmarvoloriddle
(27,825 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“After the war, Harry learns there’s no such thing as a normal life. At least not for him.”
An I for an I - Chapter 1 - lordmarvoloriddle - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Contractual Obligations” by DobbyRocksSocks
(28k words)
harry/voldemort (tom)
“Voldemort proposes Marriage as a substitute to war. Yes, this story will be as ridiculous as it sounds.”
Fanfic: Contractual Obligations Ch 1, Harry Potter | FanFiction
“Balance” (3 part series)  by Drops_of_Nightshade
- The Courtesan (137,004 words) complete
- The Consort (101,321 words) complete
- Alternative Universe: The Consort (13,964 words) in progress
harry/voldemort
The Courtesan- “In the prejudiced world where the Dark Lord won, Harry Potter is part of the servile caste, the lowest caste in the new society. Resigned to a life of servitude as a Courtesan, Harry is instead drawn under the wing of the Dark Lord himself. Between the scheming Order and his powerful benefactor, Harry finds himself steadily drawn deeper into the growing conflict.”
The Consort- “Harry has embraced his position as the Dark Lord's future husband. Graduation from Hogwarts, his marriage, and political threats are on the horizon. Harry navigates the complex world of pureblood society and traditions while paving the way for change in a world where the Dark Lord reigns supreme.”
Alternative Universe: The Consort- “Leaning against his husband with a sigh, Harry rubbed his belly absently, imagining another child running through the corridors of the Citadel. He couldn’t help the warm, fluttery feeling in his chest, in spite of the fatigue his children sometimes brought him. Parenthood was challenging and at times unpleasant; that was the raw truth of it. Yet it was also rewarding, and Harry would not change a thing.”
Balance - Drops_of_Nightshade - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Dreams and Darkness Collide”  by Epic Solemnity
(215,747 words)
harry/voldemort
“Though he was raised without the expectation of saving the world, Harry still possesses a savior complex. Only, it's so dark and twistedly immoral, he created an alter ego to practice vigilantism. His second identity makes a name for himself and immediately ensnares Minister Riddle's complete and obsessive attention. A game of cat and mouse begins and morals are questioned.”
“JK Rowling’s once said: ‘That if Merope had lived and raised Voldemort, he would have turned out to be much different, probably a better person.’ But just how much different? And how much different would Harry be if he was given a life without the expectation of saving the world? How different would he be if his hero-complex was still intact, but so consuming, so twistedly dark, that he had to go through desperate means to hide it?”
Fanfic: Dreams and Darkness Collide Ch 1, Harry Potter
“How We Survive” series by twighlightshadow
- How We Survive: The Runaway (40,439 words) complete
- How We Survive: Winds of Change (31,544 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“An attack on the Dursleys left Harry to fend for himself. Years later, an overheard conversation results in new challenges which may prove impossible in the long run, such as remaining hidden in plain view, learning to trust again, and staying alive.”
Author: twighlightshadow
“Serpentine” by Steeltalon
(79,559 words abandoned
harry/voldemort
“Harry Potter was abandoned by his relatives the day they found him. He's raised on the streets and taught to distrust all adults. It's going to be a very different person than Dumbledore was expecting who shows up at Hogwarts…”
Fanfic: Serpentine Ch 1, Harry Potter
“A Life Alone” by Snuffdragon
(190,677 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“Harry learns of the prophecy from Petunia at the age of eight and escapes to the streets when the house is attacked. Trying to hide his true identity, can he live on his own? Full summary inside.”
Fanfic: A Life Alone Ch 1, Harry Potter
“Heathen Love” by SecretAnimosity
(40,149 words)
harry/voldemort
“When McGonagall sees the address on Harry's Hogwarts letter, she goes to Snape knowing he has far more experience with troubled homes than she does. But how does this change the story we all know and love?”
Fanfic: Heathen Love Ch 1, Harry Potter
“Take Me Away” by Zenro
(36,486 words)
harry/voldemort
“Harry, After years of abuse at the Dursley's and constantly being used by the light he turns to Voldemort. Though not in the way he had hoped... End of 4th year”
Fanfic: Take Me Away Ch 1, Harry Potter
“Jaded Eyes of a Prodigy” by wickedlfairy17
(216,842 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“DarkHarry snapped early on, follow his journey for revenge. Surprises at every turn and not everything is as it appears. His search for power will reshape the world by fire and the magical world will never know what hit them.”
Fanfic: Jaded Eyes of a Prodigy Ch 1, Harry Potter
“Taken by Surprise” by BabblingSquirrel
(67,879 words)
harry/voldemort
“Innocent and harmless as he appears, Harry Potter is anything but - and after years of sitting tight, on the move. Can the Dark Lord cope with the bombshell? Will the wizarding world ever be the same if he can?”
Taken by Surprise - Chapter 1 - BabblingSquirrel - Harry Potter - JK Rowling
“Broken” by Batsutousai
(48,432 words) complete
harry/voldemort
“Dumbledore knew before Harry Potter came to Hogwarts what he needed the boy to do, and he knew exactly how to make him do it.”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/209535/chapters/313369
80 notes · View notes
raleighcarrera · 3 years
Text
falling
platinum | raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian)
a little while ago i posted about the idea of a soulmate au where the first words raleigh & cadence say to each other are tattooed on them their whole lives, and this... is that. (for @platinumweekend ❤️)
tags: @choicesarehard ; @empressazura; @emomoustache ; @natesewell ; @zigtheeortega ; @pixeljazzy ; @brycemaloliver ; @grigori-girl ; @dulceghernandez ; @bitchloveskcbaseball ; @withbeautyandrage 
~10.5k words | T
i.
the words appear in looping script on his thirteenth birthday, right on time. they curve along the inside of his bicep, innocently punctuated. what’s your name?
“you got lucky,” one of his older cousins tells him, later, when everyone in his family comes by for cake and to ooh and aah over his new tattoo, “you’ll be able to hide that with a shirt or a jacket easily.”
but raleigh sleeps shirtless every night for the next two years, even when it’s cold, so that the words are the last thing he sees with his head pillowed on his arm before he falls asleep, dreaming of the nameless, faceless person who will one day say them, wondering what their voice might sound like when they do.
ii.
she has a more difficult go of it.
being a thirteen year old girl would be miserable enough without the added pressure of the words that practically feel broadcast across her forehead, most of the time. everyone at school teases her constantly and ruthlessly: say something funny, cadence. go on. tell us a joke!
so it’s difficult not to resent the two words scrawled lazily across her collarbone and the person attached to them, especially in the mornings before school when she’s angrily rearranging her neckline and jewelry in the mirror while the bus idles outside.
very funny. she isn’t, really. she’s plenty of things -- determined and passionate and sensitive, definitely, but... no one’s ever found her particularly funny, before.
and no one seems to understand just how much the expectation of having to be funny, one day, is weighing on her, not even her parents, when she finally works up the courage to squeak out, “but how am i supposed to know what i should say?”
her mom laughs indulgently, like she’s already said something funny. her stomach sinks further.
“oh, sweetheart,” she tells her, “don’t worry, it won’t matter. you just will.”
iii.
people ask him about it. a lot.
it gets difficult to keep it a secret as things change around him, but raleigh’s careful to avoid slip-ups and paparazzi photos and he doesn’t say a word about it in interviews, even when he’s asked directly. he’s never seen without short sleeves on, at the very least, and he doesn’t even tell blair and cameron about it.
he sort of wishes he had, though, because as his life turns upside down and he adapts to a new country with a new set of rules and an industry that makes his head spin most of the time it starts to feel more and more confusing, those three words -- what’s your name?
everywhere he goes, thousands of girls blocking the street scream it at him. so how is it possible that whoever’s waiting to meet him doesn’t already know it?
and what does that mean for how the rest of his life is going to turn out? 
what if all of this -- the fame and the money and the notoriety -- is fleeting, and he’s only a few short years from being completely washed up and irrelevant? what if the day he’s meant to meet his person is so far away that he’ll be completely out of the spotlight, by then, with sunset skatepark playing reunion tours and him having spent most of his life alone?
it’s a lot of pressure, for someone who’s already working their way through such a serious adjustment, and most of the time it’s dizzying, thinking about the fact that there’s someone out there who’s supposed to be perfect for him, when everyone he meets seems determined to forget every word they know other than yes, so they can suck up to him as much as possible.
his teenage years fly by in a whirlwind of mistakes and regrets. there’s things he would’ve never dreamed would come his way, like world tours and more money than he can count and so many girls who know everything about him before they even sit down to dinner, but there’s more than that, too.
there’s all the ways the industry weakens his trust until it’s gone, all the people who try to use him for what he can do for them, all the times he stumbles until he finally learns to distance himself by cultivating a persona, by leaning into all the expectations of raleigh carrera and creating something so outlandish it doesn’t hurt as much when disaster follows him around because it’s supposed to.
he watches everything that surrounds him turn fake and plastic and puts his energy only into his music, coasting on the rest. the days are less exciting than when he first joined the band at fifteen; he’s a solo artist, now, and most of the time, he’s just trying to get through.
but chaos continues to follow him and eventually his notoriety is inescapable. his first solo album is self-titled and he somehow manages to get a trademark on the word raleigh, as if the name is now more his than anything that ever belonged to the state of north carolina, and part of him sort of expects the words stamped on his arm to change, once he hits one-hundred million followers on his social channels.
they never do, though, and when he’s alone, and the veneer he’s built up for everyone else fades away, he can’t help but to be fascinated by this person who just wants an answer to the question no one else would ever dare ask him.
iv.
college isn’t exactly the fresh start she was hoping it’d be.
she was a loser in high school and things don’t get much better for her even now that she’s with ‘her people’ at a performing arts university she can barely afford, even with two part-time jobs. 
shane is across the country at a proper state school with parties and a social life and lots of friends who aren’t her, and she’s failing her improv class, proving that she isn’t actually very funny at all. 
boys continue to not notice her and patrons in bars continue to turn away from her one-woman performance, her old acoustic guitar the only constant in a life that feels utterly, unbelievably pointless, most of the time.
it’s like she’s drifting through the days, putting her time in at college in the hopes that it’ll fortify her for what’s next -- her big break, the discovery that’ll get her out of that shitty small town she’s been trying to escape her entire life. she writes hundreds of songs about how lost she feels and hates every single one, dreaming of a time when things might be different and she doesn’t have to second-guess every single one of her decisions.
she doesn’t have much of a love life and tries not to think about that, either.
the person on the other side of those two words stuck on her collarbone is probably looking for someone self-confident, who knows who they are and is comfortable with that. they’re probably expecting to meet someone who has their life together, who, at the very least, has a plan.
they’re probably not expecting a talentless nobody screwup like her, someone who tries as hard as she can yet never seems to make anything work.
things don’t turn around after graduation, either. sure, she manages to find an apartment in a building that’s nice enough and uses the last of her savings on the deposit and trying to furnish it, but it’s only a few weeks of trying and failing to secure a regular paying gig performing before she’s back at smoothie star again, begging for her old job back.
and there’s nothing that makes her feel more like a failure than working the same shifts she had in high school. 
as she hums along to the radio on a random tuesday afternoon when the store is dead and there’s nothing to blend, she wonders what mr.-or-mrs. very funny would think if they walked in and saw her here -- twenty-three years old and flat broke, with a dead-end job and a one-bedroom apartment all she has to show for her very expensive and very useless bachelor’s degree.
that, and a notebook full of half-finished songs about relationships she could only ever dream about and an escape from the miserable small town she lives in that feels farther away with every day that passes.
she can’t imagine they’d be very impressed.
v.
raleigh’s life gets monotonous very quickly. the music takes a backseat to the scandals and for a while there’s a predictable pattern of cause trouble, clean up image, rinse and repeat.
there are girls in between the cycles to help him pass the time. some he likes well enough and some he despises, but for the most part his management gives their recommendations and he agrees and makes awkward conversation for an hour or two over brunch until it’s time to go trash something again.
things get particularly bad after one minor cruise ship hijacking incident. 
but in his defense, no one ever told him that breaking into the harbor and joy riding was a first-degree felony, worsened by the fact that he’d just so happened to crash the boat into the pier while he was trying to dock it. 
at least he’d been sober.
though a monumental fuck up like this felt sort of inevitable; everyone who knew him probably figured it was only a matter of time before he went too far. how could he not when he was always chasing the next high?
still, the image rehab tour that follows is far from what he’d call enjoyable. he has to cut off all his hair and play nice at industry parties and waste time standing around being seen at charity events he winds up just cutting checks for instead of helping out at.
on top of the miserable community service comes the pr bullshit his team so loves -- dozens of tv appearances back-to-back where he’s herded around all day like cattle, in and out of green rooms with crappy coffee and bad catering.
he has no idea that showing up to be a judge on one in a million is going to change his life. hungover and running late, he barely even makes it to the taping of the semi-finals, slinking inside the concert hall in middle-of-nowhere, usa with a headache and some choice words for whoever thought this was the best way to clean up his image.
fortunately, raleigh manages to make his way inside virtually unnoticed. his phone is buzzing angrily in his pocket -- undoubtedly his manager trying to encourage him to hair and makeup or some other absurdity -- but he ignores it in favor of ducking back behind the line near the auditorium doors, only barely catching the last few words of some catty confrontation between two contestants as he goes.
as one of the girls stomps away, he sees the other’s shoulders slump from behind. “guess i’m not making any friends,” she mutters.
it’s clearly said to no one -- not even to herself, really -- yet for some reason, he can’t stop himself from responding. “where i come from, that’s a good thing.”
the girl’s shoulders straighten, but she still doesn’t turn around. “i’m not trying to succeed at the cost of others.”
raleigh smirks, leaning back against the wall beside his guitar case. “you do realize you’re at a competition show, right?”
“of course, but...” her hair ruffles with what sounds like a huff. she’s still not facing him, staring off at where the other girl she’d been talking to had run away. “that doesn’t mean i’m not rooting for everyone here to share their music with the world.”
“what a sweet sentiment,” raleigh drawls sarcastically, almost feeling a little bad for her and her naivety. this poor girl is going to be eaten alive. “it won’t last.”
her body tenses, her shoulders tightening again. he can almost see smoke start to pour from her ears before she spins suddenly on her heel to face him. 
whatever sharp retort had been on the tip of her tongue gets swallowed with a blink as soon as their eyes meet. something like electricity crackles in the space between them, strengthening the invisible pull he’d felt when he first stopped behind her. instead, she only asks, “what’s your name?”
vi.
the man in front of her snorts. “very funny.”
a smile tugs at her lips. “very funny, that’s a weird name.” this is unlike her -- the quick comeback, the flirting. usually being face-to-face with a guy as good looking as the one talking to her now made her want to wither away and die, but something about the stranger standing before her sets her instantly at ease. “so, are you gonna tell me, or not?”
now it’s his turn to blink at her. a hand lifts to rub at his jaw. “huh. you really don’t know who i am, do you?”
cadence’s eyes narrow as she assess him. there is something vaguely familiar about that crooked grin, she’s sure of it. 
at the very least, it’s an excuse to stare at him, and she does, moving her eyes slowly over the tattoos poking out over his jacket collar, the line of stubble on his sharp jaw, the glint of mischief in his eyes.
her helpless gaping is interrupted by a sudden shrill scream. “oh. my. god! is that raleigh carrera?!”
everything clicks at once. as a wild group of girls corner him, she realizes where she’s seen that smile before -- on just about every tabloid cover known to man, plastered all over convenience stores and the internet with headlines about his latest bender. in fact, she’s pretty sure he was just in the news for something similar -- crashing a yacht or something else ridiculous like that, something that only someone as rich as raleigh carrera could have accomplished. 
then she realizes what he’d said to her, as soon as she’d turned to look him in the eyes. very funny. 
her heart stops. all she can do is stare wide-eyed at him as he dispels the girls clamoring for a selfie, snapping back to the present when he waves one large hand in front of her face. 
“sorry -- what?”
“i said, what’s your name? it only seems fair, now that you know mine, and all.”
“cadence,” she answers numbly, “i’m -- um, i’m used to your hair being longer.”
“cadence,” raleigh repeats, smiling at her, “so you do know who i am.”
“what do the magazines call you again? r&b’s time bomb? puerto rico’s hottest export? you’re kind of notorious.” she blinks at him, then admits, “i’ve heard your songs.”
“seen the tabloid covers too, eh?” the expression on his face suggests he’s almost proud of them.
this is surreal.
“didn’t you crash a yacht or something?” she asks, brain whirring into overdrive as she tries to process what’s happening. he doesn’t seem to have realized it yet, which gives her a moment to gather her thoughts, something that feels impossible when she can’t push the way he’d scoffed very funny out of her mind. 
“or something. insurance paid out a couple million in property damage, but...” raleigh trails off, brow suddenly furrowing. he stares at her silently for a beat too long, then slowly turns a dull red. “hey, what’d you say earlier, again?”
cadence wets her dry lips, trying not to panic. stay calm, she silently coaches herself. raleigh carrera is not your long-awaited soulmate and you are not doing this in line to audition for one in a million. “i said -- what’s your name? and then you said...”
oh god, this is happening. her teeth dig into her bottom lip as she fidgets with the neckline of her top, tugging it to the side so raleigh can see the two words on her collarbone. 
“very funny,” he mutters, “oh, jesus fucking christ. you can’t be serious.”
“me?” she demands, “you’re the one who --”
“next up,” calls a voice suddenly, cutting sharply through their argument, “contestant #9,276.”
her blood runs cold as she realizes that’s the number she’s wearing pinned to her shirt. she can feel herself start to sweat; how the fuck is she supposed to perform like this? she wants to throw up. why did this have to happen to her now? this was her shot -- her one fucking chance --
“hey, easy.” there’s suddenly two strong hands on either side of her shoulders, and she startles as raleigh stares at her from up close, closer than he was just a moment ago. “relax, okay? you’re gonna be fine. you’ve got this.”
“but --” she starts, then realizes her mind is racing too quickly to even articulate what she wants to say. she settles for shaking her head, eyes wide and panicked. “i can’t just -- oh my god, i’m going to throw up.”
“here,” raleigh directs, “take my guitar. prince gave it to me as a birthday present.”
prince?! she mouths hysterically to herself, as he flips the latch on his case open and pulls out the instrument. “how is this supposed to help me?”
“just trust me,” he says, giving her a gentle nudge towards the auditorium, “now go.”
she does, stumbling forward with the most expensive piece of equipment she’s ever held in her hands in her life alongside her, drawing in a deep breath as she makes her way onto the stage.
she can do this.
everything else will have to come after.
vii.
the thing is -- she’s talented. exceptionally so. 
he can tell she’s a little nervous, but maybe that’s just because he’s used to looking out for that sort of thing; he could probably recognize it more easily than the average person would. it probably has nothing to do with who they are, how he notices the nuances in her body language...
her belt is impressive. her voice is stunning, clear and uniquely melodic. his guitar looks spectacular in her hands, and cadence plays it like she’s been practicing on it her entire life. 
he tries his best to look nonchalant, feet kicked up onto the seat in front of him, but when she locks eyes with him from the stage he knows he hasn’t succeeded. raleigh’s breath catches, and he stares back at her, transfixed by the way her dainty hands cradle the neck of the guitar and strum the strings, how her lips purse around the long, emotional high note at the end of the song’s chorus.
she’s really very pretty. 
he’d probably be lying to himself if he said it doesn’t make him a little bit jealous and uncomfortable, watching how she and avery fawn over each other when she’s finished. he’s probably a much better suited match for her, clean cut and pristine as he is. 
he wonders if she’s disappointed that it’s him -- that it’s now, when she’s clearly on the cusp of something great all on her own.
it’s a lot to think about, and so he dips out of the auditorium before she finishes up, rushing outside with his heart pounding. it’s not until he’s halfway through the crumpled pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket that raleigh starts to relax even an iota, and of course that’s when the stage door he’d left propped swings open wide and cadence’s sneakers hit the asphalt beside his boots.
“uh, you can’t just leave me with this thing,” she says, apropos of nothing, and as he stares at her he realizes she’s talking about his guitar, which she’s holding in one hand like it’s a dead fish. “this costs more than everything in my apartment combined, i’m sure.”
he shakes his head at her, laughing as his fingers flick ash from the cigarette he’s holding. “no way -- you should keep it. you two looked perfect together.”
she hesitates, looking down at the instrument again. he can see in her eyes that she’s torn; it’s obvious she knows the right thing to do is to refuse a generous gift from a stranger, but she wants to keep it, and already his mind is racing as he considers what else he could give her that would excite her like that -- a private flight, a tour of his penthouse, a million dollars. 
“are you sure?” cadence asks, without looking at him, and the hesitancy in her voice makes him realize how unsure she really is. she’s the one who’s wondering if he’s disappointed in her.
he licks his suddenly dry lips and drops what’s left of his cigarette to the ground, finding he doesn’t actually need the rest of it, anymore. “positive.”
viii.
they don’t actually get to spend a lot of time together, while she’s filming. she has to focus and it seems like she’s always busy, somehow -- not that she sees raleigh very often in the first place.
the days are spent rehearsing with avery and cramming in as much mentoring as possible, and when she can pull herself away from fiona’s lessons on image to get home at a reasonable hour she collapses into bed pretty much immediately, out like a light from the whirlwind of the day and hardly even aware enough to dream.
but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t think about him. she does, especially on the rare occasions she manages to catch a glimpse of raleigh walking around in the studio, or on one memorable evening she stays late in the auditorium to bang on the piano keys of the beautiful, enviable baby grand on set and startles to find him leaning in the doorway, watching her play.
it’s all a blur and wildly difficult to process; just when she thinks she has a grip on things she remembers the private moments she’s had with raleigh and her emotions tumble to pieces again as she lets the weight of the implications of what’s going on between them crush her completely.
one moment sticks out on her as being particularly worrisome, insofar as how it bodes for the rest of her life. 
it feels like something significant from the moment raleigh offers to help her warm up; they’ve hardly had a moment alone together in days and she still has absolutely no idea how she’s supposed to talk to him or what she should say, but for some reason the conversation flows easily and she hardly has to think about the (no doubt incredibly stupid-sounding) words coming out of her mouth.
“you’re going to kill it,” raleigh says finally, once they’ve worked through all the exercises in his arsenal, “you really don’t need my help.”
never in her wildest dreams did she ever imagine someone like him would say something like that to her. “you think?”
“i know it,” he answers confidently, shrugging his shoulders like it’s that simple. “and you should, too.”
there’s a moment of silence where they just stand there staring at each other, ignoring the restless murmuring of the crowd outside that’s waiting for him to slip into his seat at the judge’s table. she’s effortlessly lost in raleigh’s eyes, so fixated on the intensity of his gaze that she doesn’t realize he’s leaning in closer until it’s too late.
“insurance policy,” he mutters, before he kisses her, hands cupping her face gently. 
for a split second, she stands frozen, shocked totally still. then, her brain reboots enough to propel her into motion, and cadence gets with the program enough to wind her arms around raleigh’s waist and pull him closer and kiss him back, until her heart’s lurched up into the throat she’d just been warming up, pounding relentlessly.
they make out until the roar of the crowd is deafening -- until it’s impossible not to acknowledge it any longer. 
of course raleigh’s a life-ruiningly good kisser. why wouldn’t he be? why should any of this be easy?
it’s only a few simple touches, but raleigh’s mouth leaves her dizzy and lightheaded when she’s supposed to be concentrating on performing, and, independently of the way she’s blinking at him in stupid shock, cadence already knows she’ll never be able to kiss anyone else ever again without thinking about him.
“i have to get out there,” she gasps between desperate presses of their lips against each other, grasping ineffectively at his clothes while his fingers tug her hair out of shape.
“be late,” he suggests, “it always works for me.” 
but she’s not him. she’s not like him -- they have nothing in common. they come from different worlds; they’re two completely opposite people.
and yet every minute with raleigh is like coming up for air after being underwater for years, like the knots of guilt and shame and awkward embarrassment she’s carried around for her entire life without understanding why she has them are slowly starting to undo themselves, unlaced by his careful fingers.
they make it out there. eventually.
before she knows it, confetti’s raining down from the ceiling and falling all over her, and she locks eyes with raleigh from across the room to find his lips pulled into a genuinely affectionate grin -- lips that she’d just kissed for the first time a fucking hour ago and, seriously, what is her life now -- his eyes bright and excited. 
things just keep getting weirder and weirder, but the way they’re beaming at each other like idiots in a room full of thousands, broadcast on national television, too, makes her think things might be pretty great, too.
ix.
it sort of takes them a long time to getting around to talking about it -- the soulmate thing.
it’s not that he doesn’t try. he does, but she’s got a lot going on, these days: a big move and a new record deal and days filled with songwriting and nights out being seen. he’s still on his image cleanup tour, while she’s at it, so his fake smile stays fixed on his face throughout another boring week of restaurant openings and charity events and talkshow appearances before he finally gets the chance to spend some time with her again.
they text here and there, but nothing pans out until the stars align and they manage to slip out of the back door of a nightclub unnoticed together after a night of dancing too close for the comfort of her publicist while avery and the others cause a commotion at the front entrance to distract the press.
she goes back to his penthouse with him. he can’t remember the last time he brought a girl back to his apartment just to talk, and especially not one who spent the better part of the evening in a sparkly minidress grinding against him. 
but here they are.
“so -- how’s the city treating you?” raleigh asks, pouring them both a drink he doesn’t want from the bar cart in the corner of the room for something to do with his hands.
cadence shrugs from where she’s perched on the edge of his sofa, tugging at the hem of her dress. “good, i guess. it’s honestly all kind of overwhelming.”
“yeah,” he nods, passing her one of the glasses in his hands and taking a seat on the ottoman in front of her, close enough to see her face in perfect clarity but still maintaining a distance that he hopes is respectful. “i know what you mean. when i first came here after joining sunset skatepark everything felt so... huge.”
“totally,” cadence answers quickly, nodding in a way that’s almost aggressive. “i mean, there’s so much pressure to deliver an album right away, but i want it to be perfect, and the studio is so different from, like, writing songs in my room at home, and i... i guess i feel kind of homesick, but -- not for my hometown. i hated that place.” there’s hesitancy in her gaze when she asks, “do you know what i mean?”
“yeah,” raleigh says again stupidly, because the truth is -- he knows exactly what she means. cadence has just articulated something he could never quite put into words better than he’d even thought the sentiments to himself. “it’s like... nostalgia for something you don’t even want.”
“exactly,” she breathes emphatically, and then they’re kissing again, and she’s in his lap on the ottoman and he definitely brought her here to talk, for sure, but is it really so terrible if they get a little sidetracked on the way to their destination?
well -- they wind up making out for hours. so, there’s that.
it’s not part of the plan but it’s a hell of a side quest, memorizing the shape and feel of her with his hands while her lips pull every last bit of breath from his lungs, until he’s lightheaded and dizzy in a way no other girl has ever made him, before. it’s to the point where when he finally finds it within himself to push her away, he’s uncharacteristically nervous -- something that’s never happened to him before, not even on the night he lost his virginity.
“i really did ask you over to talk,” he says, voice hoarse.
cadence licks her lips and then beams at him, eyes sparkling. “i know.” she shuffles delicately back onto the couch, lingering in his lap for only a moment before pulling away entirely. he stuffs his hands under his thighs to stop himself from reaching out for her again. “sorry i haven’t been around more.”
“you don’t have to apologize.” raleigh shakes his head. “i should be apologizing to you, i feel like... i should be the one who’s around, to help you with all of this. or at least -- i want to be. i don’t know if i’ll be any good at it.” 
he blinks, surprised by his own honesty. he hadn’t meant to say all of that, but the words came up before he was cognizant of them and now they’re out there, and there’s no taking them back -- especially with the way she’s looking at him, all soft and sweet and happy.
“well, you don’t have to be good at it,” cadence murmurs, reaching out for his wrists and tugging his hands free so she can interlock their fingers effortlessly. they fit together like puzzle pieces. “you just have to be you.”
x.
her budding relationship with one of the biggest names in r&b doesn’t have much time to bud at all before it’s rudely plucked from the plant and stepped on.
she finds herself blinking at fiona in confusion as the words take some time to process. “you want me to do what?”
xi.
raleigh balks at his manager, shaking his head emphatically. “no,” he spits out, “absolutely not.”
xii.
“cadence, it’s not a big deal,” fiona tells her, very nearly rolling her eyes. “everyone does it. you go on a few dates, play up the relationship for some photos, social media eats it up -- boom, you’re a star.”
“i don’t know,” she answers hesitantly, mind drifting back to the photographers that have already been following her around, screaming about avery when she ducks into the car with him. things with raleigh are... new, and complicated, and do they really need to add public scrutiny into the mix as well? “i just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“it’s a great idea,” fiona sighs, shaking her head. “all our focus groups agree. the label thinks it’s best, what with your single taking so long to put out.” she opens her mouth to protest -- it’s not like she’s dragging her feet on purpose -- but barely has a second to get a word out before fiona continues, “besides, raleigh does this all the time.”
her teeth bite at her bottom lip uncertainly. “he does?”
“of course. chantal clearwater? she was a pictagram model when they met, and now she’s opening shows at paris fashion week. it’s just business.”
it’s not, though. it could never be just anything, for reasons no one else knows about except the two of them, for reasons she’ll never tell. “well... what did raleigh say about it?”
xiii.
“i said no, frank.” he’s annoyed, now, and his manager knows it, raleigh’s arms folded across his chest and his eyes set into a glare. “n. o. no.”
“and i hear you, but is it really the end of the world? she’s exactly what we’re going for, and i know you already get along --”
“which is exactly why i don’t want to do this. so pick someone else. anyone else.” he’s not going to let his label turn her into one of the girls he has to be seen with for fake photos and mutually beneficial positive press. 
for so many years, he’s watched people fake feelings and use each other -- willingly participated in the using himself, too, more times than he can count. he never cared about any of it before.
but being with cadence doesn’t feel fake, and he doesn’t ever want it to. and he knows that if he agrees to this, everything he enjoys about spending time with her will disappear in favor of the ugly, plastic decay that’s eaten away at so many of his personal and professional relationships before. organic, genuine time with her will become strolls near celebrity hotspots, angling just right to help the cameras get the perfect shot. he’ll show up to support her at shows because her publicist called him, and their time together will become some manufactured narrative meant to push their labels’ agenda, until six months down the line they don’t even recognize themselves or what might’ve been if they’d done things a different way.
“look, there isn’t anyone else. her team’s already agreed to it, and i’ve got brunch set up for sunday. all you have to do is play nice for two fucking months, raleigh. is that so impossible for you?”
yes. already he feels a deep-seated desire to go somewhere and break something, to tear through the flower beds in central park with his motorcycle and wink at the cameras when they catch up to him.
instead, he storms out of the office he’s in, and into the sunlight, tugging the hood on his jacket up and melting into the crowd on the corner so he can be as anonymous as possible when he picks up his phone and calls cadence.
“hey raleigh,” she chirps as soon as she picks up, sounding far too cheerful for someone who’s likely had an equally as miserable early morning meeting on a friday. “guessing you heard the news?”
“can’t i just call you to say hi?” he grumbles, ducking his head as he strolls through the intersection with the mob of people crowded along fifth ave, turning down the next side street so he’s alone again, with no one following, just like that. 
“well, you can,” she teases, and some of the anger he’s carrying around with him fades, dissipating into nothing and evaporating like smoke. “but you’re not.”
“no, i’m not,” he agrees with a sigh, shaking his head. “you sound surprisingly cool with it, though.”
“should i not be?” cadence laughs, but he can detect a thread of nervousness in her tone. “i already want to hang out with you. we have the same friends and work in the same industry. we’re... probably going to go on dates anyway, so... how hard can this be?”
god. she has absolutely no idea. part of him thinks it’d be cruel to burst her bubble, but he should warn her, shouldn’t he? 
she sounds so optimistic about it, though. it’s hard to feel anything but hopeful when her voice turns up like that at the end. in the back of his mind, there’s a voice that’s not his suggesting maybe this time, things will be different. 
surely he knows better than to think something as ridiculous as that, though, right? 
“well, i guess it’ll be interesting, at least,” he muses, slowing his steps by the entrance to the subway. 
he’s going to lose his signal just as soon as he heads underground, and he’s not quite ready for that, yet.
xiv.
time with raleigh flies by. 
it doesn’t feel like they’re fake-dating -- they do everything she hopes he’d want to do with her anyway, like go out to eat at fancy restaurants and take walks through the park and bounce melodies for songs off of each other, facetiming late at night from their apartments or on the days he visits her and micah in the studio. 
he’s by her side for the release of her first single, and her first music video, and through it all, raleigh plays the role of the doting partner perfectly, holding her purse on the red carpet and feeding her paella at a strategically-placed outdoor table and fetching her coffee order when she’s too busy to stop writing for even just five minutes.
in the blink of an eye, it’s time to put out her album -- just like that. 
raleigh’s perfectly charming through that process, too. he shows up on time, says all the right things, and keeps a drink in her hand all evening long, so that when she’s finally done making the rounds and can enjoy herself after the entertainment and the networking and the schmoozing she’s giggly and touchy, doing her best to steal him away from the crowd.
“what were your other relationships like?” she asks, half expecting him to brush her off, though he’s always indulged her before. they’ve never really gotten this personal. “fake or... otherwise.”
“they’ve all been fake,” he shrugs, “and i can say with confidence that you’re the best one i’ve ever had.”
“really?” cadence smiles, chin propped up on her hand as she leans over the bar. “be honest. what did you really think, when you realized it was me?”
“what?” he asks, pushing the empty rocks glass in his hands around on the bar top, “you mean this thing?” he gestures at his arm, covered in expensive, custom tom ford, and the tattoo laying innocently beneath it.
“uh huh,” she confirms, “‘cause i was totally like oh shit.”
raleigh laughs, loud and wild, the sound swallowed up by the noise of the party around them. no one nearby is paying them even an ounce of attention, and it’s fun, to be anonymous at her own party, invisible to everyone in the room except for him. “i can imagine. i wouldn’t want to be stuck with me either.”
cadence shakes her head -- that’s not what she’d meant. but before she can protest, he rolls his glass between his palms and thoughtfully continues, “i guess i was a little surprised. it felt like i’d been waiting forever to meet you, so part of me was like, fuck, we’re doing this now? and i never thought it’d be someone so...”
“boring?” she suggests, eyebrows arching when raleigh’s expression immediately twists into one of disagreement, his nose scrunching up with distaste.
“no,” he huffs, “so... good, i guess.” she stares at him as he reaches for one of the waiting tequila shots on the bar, pulling it away from the line he’d set up for the crowd he’d been with before she’d tugged him to the side to talk, leaving the drinks untouched. raleigh knocks the shot back -- no salt, no lime. he’s had twice as many drinks as she has, and she’s definitely feeling them -- she has no idea how he’s even still upright, no worse for wear other than a few slurred words here and there. “but you just are. it’s like every song i’ve ever written was about you, and i just didn’t know it yet.”
the noise of the party fades in favor of the pounding of her heart, loud like a kick drum in her ears. she bites her lip and stares at him, watching as raleigh shakes his head at himself, dazed. “you okay?” she asks quietly, leaning in a little across the bar. 
raleigh’s quiet for so long she has to wonder whether or not he actually heard her. just as she clears her throat and opens her mouth to repeat herself even louder, he nods, reaching across the bar and squeezing her hand before dragging her back over to the line of tequila shots waiting for them to enjoy.
the night is a blur after that, and there’s patches of the evening that are fuzzy in her memory the next morning, but she knows she’ll never forget the gentle kiss goodnight raleigh gives her when he helps her stumble into the car back to her apartment at dawn.
xv. 
things go really well, until they don’t. 
they have a blissful six months together with more fun than he’s ever had with anyone. slowly, he learns every single thing about cadence and returns her openness with honesty of his own -- honesty that feels strange and unfamiliar but weirdly thrilling, in a way, made easier every time one of his stories pulls a laugh or smile from her. 
it seems unnatural, having a honeymoon period that goes on for so long. in the entire time they’re dating, he doesn’t destroy a single thing -- doesn’t even want to, which is the weirdest part of it all. 
there are some moments that catch him completely off guard. more than a few times, he hardly even recognizes himself, she turns him into such a different person. 
he doesn’t hate it, though -- just the opposite, in fact. raleigh realizes he’s really starting to like the carefree, far from jaded person he is when he’s with her, though it only hits him for real when he’s watching her storm away from him on liberty island, eyes fixed on the angry sway of her hips.
he stews on it on the long ride back to his penthouse; the game had, admittedly, been starting to wear on him. but he’d gone along with it because it was supposed to benefit her -- he’d agreed to the stupid public breakup and following the rules and not seeing cadence in public for the foreseeable future because it was what she wanted, and -- frankly, it felt like a stupid fucking decision.
not that it lasts long. he starts texting her just as soon as he’s done washing electralite out of his hair and doesn’t make it more than twenty minutes when they first see each other again at the moda gala before he’s sneaking off with her, ducking under the velvet rope that demarcates the planetarium as ‘off limits’ with her hand tucked neatly in his.
“maybe this is better,” cadence muses between sips of her drink, her eyes on one of the stupid glass exhibits he couldn’t possibly care less about. “now we can just be together -- no pressure. our relationship is ours again.”
their relationship. is that what this is? they’ve spent a lot of time talking about who they are and what they like and don’t like, kissing and touching and holding hands. throughout it all, he’s done his best not to buy into the ‘soulmate’ bullshit too heavily, but over the last few months it’s been hard to deny that there’s a reason he was meant to meet her, that she’s been changing him from the inside out.
“what’s on your mind?” she asks, turning towards him with an open look of genuine curiosity on her face, like she really wants to know. 
“it’s nothing,” raleigh answers at first, reflexively, like he has so many times before. no one has ever really wanted to know. but cadence’s eyebrows arch, and she waits, patiently silent, and then the words tumble out of him. “it’s just that -- my whole life, i’ve watched other people use each other. so many people are just interested in the concept of celebrity status. so i played the game. never trusting anyone.” 
he shrugs. a hand lifts to rub his jaw, and he looks back to meet her gaze just in time to see the little smile playing at her lips, like she already knows what he’s about to say. “but it’s different, with you. you make me not want to be that person anymore. when i’m with you, it’s the only time i feel anything real.”
“raleigh,” she murmurs, her expression flickering before her face does something that cracks his chest wide open. her eyes go all shiny and sparkly and her cheeks crease with a grin, and the way she laughs is so ridiculously joyful the hand he has stuffed in his pocket curls into a fist to stop him from doing something stupid. “i feel the same way. i just... this whole thing, i know it doesn’t always -- work out, but... with you i really want it to. i’ve never felt this way before about anyone, and i think...” 
there’s a pause as her lips purse thoughtfully, and then she says the words that make it impossible for him to do anything but close the distance between them and kiss her over and over again: “i think even without this tattoo it’d be you, anytime, anywhere.”
xvi.
being raleigh carrera’s (real, confirmed, 100%-authentic) girlfriend feels almost too good to be true.
raleigh is... everything she never knew she wanted in a boyfriend, wrapped up into one tall, dark and handsome package, with a loud, goofy laugh and a deep, sexy voice that sends a shiver down her spine whenever his mouth so much as lingers near her ear for too long. 
it turns out that, despite their differing status in the industry and her initial assumptions that they came from two completely different worlds, they’re actually on the same page about pretty much everything. she finds that the pressure of the word she’d held in such high regard for so long -- soulmate -- disappears entirely where he’s concerned because being with raleigh is just fun. 
there’s motorcycle rides and boat trips and hours up late talking about everything and nothing; facetime calls with his mom and shopping trips where the stores are kept open late for them so they can shop alone, in an empty boutique, like every teen movie she’d ever watched growing up.
there’s late nights in the studio and either of their apartments where they both noodle around on their guitars and improvise half-hearted duets, content to just work in the same orbit as each other for as long as possible.
raleigh’s texting one night on the couch in her living room when she plucks out the melody to who i’ll be on her old acoustic, sitting on the floor in front of the tv.
he looks up before the first verse is over. “what’s that one? it sounds good.”
“oh -- just a song i wrote in college,” cadence hums, already downplaying it as she lifts her shoulder in a shrug. “i got stuck, never finished it. ellis made me sell the progress for some other writer to finish.”
he frowns, pushing up onto his elbow. his phone is tossed carelessly somewhere among the couch cushions. “why?”
“because i was taking too long with the odyssey,” she sighs. “it was kind of my only option. it’s weird, though -- thinking about someone singing something that was so personal to me.”
“play me what you had so far,” he says, and so she does, hesitating for only a second before strumming the chords, singing the lines she had slowly. 
when she’s done, she looks up to find that raleigh’s slid to the edge of the couch, elbows on his knees as he leans in as close as he can get with the coffee table in his way. “okay -- that was beautiful. you should finish it.”
she shakes her head, setting her guitar down. “i can’t. they already sold it. and even if i wanted to... i don’t know how it ends.”
raleigh’s legs spread in invitation and she stands to walk around to the couch, slipping into his lap and leaning back against his chest. his hands are tender as he rubs them across her shoulders, sliding up her back before one lifts to brush a lock of hair back behind her ear, his pointer finger pushing her glasses up her nose affectionately. “maybe one day you can write something else with the same theme,” he suggests, and she tries her best to smile even though it feels like a dream lost, somehow -- a ridiculous thought, given that she pretty much has everything she ever wanted, but the way she feels all the same.
“maybe,” she sighs, the kiss he drops to her forehead a bandaid on a wound that’s been doing its best to heal for what feels like her entire life.
xvii.
he’s never brought a date to the vinyls before. 
there’s been plenty of after parties he’s stumbled out of with a girl on his arm, sure, but cadence is the first person to sit by his side during the ceremony, and he’s surprised by how much he likes having her next to him.
then again, he’s self aware enough to realize he’d like being pretty much anywhere, with her.
still -- the awards are a lot less boring with her around to kiss and stroke his hair and make snide commentary about the rest of the attendees with, and when she squeezes his hand goodbye to rush backstage and get ready for her performance he misses her instantly.
what happens next makes him endlessly regretful of the fact that he’s not backstage with her.
he rushes around just as soon as he can, pushing his way through security and frantically scrambling technical assistants to find her exactly where he thought he might, between ellis knight and fiona, looking lost with her head in her hands.
she seems equal parts broken and pissed in a way that tugs at his heartstrings and makes him a little bit proud. raleigh shoves through the crowd to get to her and slips an arm around her waist. he’s only caught the tail end of the conversation they’re all having, but he knows enough to know that “you can’t bench her. that’s bull.”
ultimately, though, it doesn’t matter how much they stomp their feet. she’s under contract, their hands are tied, and he walks away seething at the unfairness of it all, this shitty industry that’s turned on her when all she ever wanted to do was make music.
she cries in the car back to her apartment to pack her things. there’s no way he’s letting her go home to iowa or idaho or indiana without him, and he barks at his team over the phone until they agree to move his appearances around so he can make that happen, his free hand clasped tightly in hers until he physically has to let her go so she can unlock her front door with trembling fingers.
cadence tosses clothes haphazardly onto the bed and he silently and precisely moves to folds each piece for her, until she gives up and sinks down onto the edge of the mattress, defeated. 
wide eyes filled with tears lock onto his, and he watches her bottom lip wobble before she says, “you really don’t have to do this. come with me, i mean. i know i messed up, and -- you have so much else going on. i don’t expect you to --”
“i’m coming,” he states firmly, setting the sweatpants in his hand down and stepping closer to her, sitting beside cadence on her bed. “what happened tonight was fucked up, cadence -- it shouldn’t have happened at all. i’m not going to let you go through this alone.”
“but --”
“but nothing,” he says, and before the words have even left his mouth she’s falling into his arms with a soft sound of gratitude, mashing her face into his chest as she sniffles.
“thank you,” cadence mumbles, sounding so unsure of herself it makes him wonder if she’s ever had anyone show up for her when it mattered most before, or if that’s yet another thing they unfortunately have in common. 
xviii.
raleigh tries his best to cheer her up, but it’s still hard, feeling like she’s let the entire world down. her fans. herself.
there’s something embarrassing about showing raleigh her apartment back home and the person she was before she met him -- all the places she felt most uncertain and where she experienced some her worst self-doubt, the room that still has the smoothie star apron hung up in the closet.
but there’s also something exciting, about being totally off the grid with him. no one knows they’re here and there’s no paparazzi waiting to snap photos of them -- especially given the fact that they don’t leave her building for the first three days she spends moping around while raleigh orders all the takeout he can get his hands on.
it sort of reminds her of when they first met, and there was nothing to do but learn about each other, though now there’s a familiarity to him she relies on, a unique raleigh-ness that feels more like home than this shitty apartment ever did.
still, she struggles, and the weight of the world doesn’t let up until zadie shows up with her fanmail and avery does his best to make her smile with a beach trip and some fancy new toys and a day in the sun with a drink in her hand.
eventually it’s just her and raleigh again, out by the fire after everyone else has gone to bed. her stomach is full of s’mores and her cheeks hurt from smiling for the first time in weeks, and it’s a shock when she realizes she feels content, even after everything that’s happened -- almost as though things will all work out for the better no matter what happens next.
“oh my god,” she gasps suddenly, cutting off what raleigh had been saying as her eyes light up and she hastens to stand. “i’ve gotta -- i need to -- oh my god.”
just like that, she knows how her song ends.
recording it is a process, but raleigh calls in some favors and gets them studio time and agrees to be featured on the song even though she knows he’s still working through a sound change that he feels unsure about.
but it means a lot to her, having him crammed in the booth at her side, singing into the same mic. they sound almost unbelievably good together, too, raleigh’s harmonies on the words that finally resolve that lost feeling she’s been harboring her entire life making something deep within her wriggle up happily, wagging its proverbial tail.
the fact that raleigh remains by her side throughout the entire fight with her label, the long nights of despair agonizing over what her next move is going to be and even the moment where they decide to break into indio, of all places, means more to her than she can ever say. she feels markedly less nervous about the entire thing every time she turns her head to the side and sees him, right there next to her -- right where he’s been this entire time -- smiling encouragingly and squeezing her hand hard in his.
though it’s not until they’re up at the top of the ferris wheel that she realizes how precious what she has really is. it’s not until he looks her dead in the eye and says, with that same soft earnestness he’s awarded her since they first met at the one in a million auditions that feel quite literally like a hundred years ago, “cadence, everything you want is on the other side of fear. and i want you to have everything you want,” that she truly understands that’s what between them is special and rare.
not because of any tattoos, or any preconceived destiny. not because of who they are and their status and the fact that people take pictures of them when they’re out in public together.
but because of this -- all these real moments of genuine connection they’ve been fortunate enough to share since fate threw them into each other’s paths.
“raleigh, i love you.” the words are said easily, not a moment’s hesitation behind them. 
just before she crosses over in the cart to kiss him until they’re both breathless, raleigh gifts her the brightest smile he has and says, “i love you, too.”
xix.
the night is a blur from the moment he first takes the stage with his old bandmates to when he finally finds himself alone with cadence in a rundown old motel a few miles out from the festival in the desert.
he can’t recall ever being so happy, so of course he doesn’t remember every agonizing detail of the evening, though he does know he doesn’t feel the need to have a single beer with cadence around, twirling barefoot in the grass and giggling when she leads him up to the room they’ve borrowed.
afterwards, when they’re sitting on the roof together in the blanket they dragged off the bed, he reflects on the wild year they’ve had with her in his arms, fingertips tracing the delicate very funny scrawled across cadence’s collarbone.
he feels... free. completely liberated. like there’s absolutely nothing and no one that can get to him, now, like he’s untouchable, like he doesn’t care about a single thing that happens after today and how perfect things have been. 
“i think i’m actually freer than i’ve ever been,” he muses, where his lips are pressed into her hair, “i can take my sound in any direction i want.”
“i’m so happy for you, raleigh,” cadence returns genuinely, tilting her head back so he can see her upside-down smile. 
his arms tighten around her. “i’m so excited for what you’re gonna be doing, too. i’m excited for us.”
“yeah,” she sighs, “who knows what’s next, right? now that ellis let me out of my deal...”
he can hear the thread of worry undercutting the words. he shakes his head, hands rubbing up and down her arms. “you can worry about that tomorrow. for tonight, just enjoy the comeback. what you did out there was amazing.”
“what we did,” she corrects, and he blinks up the stars as he realizes she’s right -- they’re a we now. he’s part of a we again, after being on his own for so long.
the phrases bounce around in his head, unfamiliar and foreign. me and my girlfriend, he thinks to himself, cadence and i. we’re going to be late. we’ll be away that weekend. we just started watching that show. we, we, we. 
“what we did was amazing,” raleigh amends, the words slow to come out but feeling right all the same. “whatever we do next will be amazing.”
“absolutely,” cadence confirms, with conviction, like it’s something she believes wholeheartedly.
and though he has no idea what to expect or what it might be, a large part of him is inclined to agree with her -- she’s been right about everything else so far.
xx.
one year later, she’s finishing a set in berlin, the last stop on a sprawling european tour that had taken she, avery, micah and raleigh across the continent for dozens of performances to sold-out crowds of thousands screaming her lyrics back to her. 
if her contract with overknight had been a dream come true, signing to wilshere records is heaven incarnate. cadence’s trip through the u.k. with her new label is proof enough, and the chance to meet new fans with new stories to share that she could connect with is one she’s taken to with enthusiasm, the experience made all the sweeter by the fact that her favorite people get to be by her side throughout it all.
berlin’s crowd is one of the best, and she fully expects to end the tour on a high note, head banging to the last few notes of ‘knockout’ before raleigh’s planned entrance for the last song of the night, so they can sing the duet that’s closed out every show they’ve had on the tour together. 
when he struts out with his guitar, waving and grinning at the crowd, she can’t stop herself from smiling stupidly at him, just like she does every time she sees him join her on stage, every time she realizes that this is their life, that this is something they do every night, now.
though her grin falters when raleigh pauses in front of his microphone and asks, “berlin, do you mind if i talk a little bit before i start the song? no? cool, because i’ve got an important question to ask.”
her eyes widen. cadence’s mouth drops open and doesn’t close throughout the entire speech raleigh gives her, even though thousands of people in the crowd are filming every moment of her gaping like an idiot, snapping close-ups of her shocked face.
the arena practically vibrates with screams when he drops to his knee, popping the box in his hand open so she can see the giant diamond ring nestled inside of it. 
“so?” raleigh asks, and cadence can just barely hear him in her in-ears with the way her heart is beating frantically up into her throat, as wild as the crowd’s raging around them and then some. “whaddya say, babe? will you marry me?”
as if the answer could ever be anything but yes. she nods, laughing as she launches herself into his arm for a kiss that’s too grand to be given on stage, though that’s hardly going to stop her -- not tonight, at least. tonight, she’s okay with the whole world watching their every move, just one more time.
“oh, i don’t know if it’s going to fit,” raleigh jokes as the ring slides easily onto her left hand, amping up the theatrics for the fans still watching them avidly, even up in the cheap seats.
cadence rolls her eyes playfully at him. “very funny,” she praises, and the grin he offers her in return is so loving -- so knowing, with the secret that only the two of them share and every weird piece of their history included in it -- that it takes everything she has to shove him away so they can perform instead of dragging him down to the floor to kiss him over and over again.
clumsily, she flubs a few notes of love who i’ll be on her guitar. from across the stage, between the bridge and the chorus, raleigh jeers, “someone hasn’t learned to play with the extra weight on their left hand, yet, i see,” and when she flips him off while belting out the last lines of the verse, his raucous laughter is all the harmony the final few bars of the song needs. 
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grailfinders · 3 years
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Fate and Phantasms #159
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Today on Fate and Phantasms we bring you the outlaw star himself, Assassin of Shinjuku! As always, it’s hard to go into detail about Sassyshin’s abilities without giving away his identity, so true name spoilers below the cut.
Check out his build breakdown below, or his character sheet over here!
Next up: Wait a minute, I thought King Arthur was a girl!
This build blends Yan Qing’s Shadow Monk techniques with the Doppelganger’s shapeshifting, here represented by the Whispers Bard levels. Kill people, steal their identity, repeat!
Race and Background
Technically Yan Qing is part ghost, but it’s a lot easier to call him a Variant Human instead. If you really want to lean into the doppelganger thing Changeling’s right there, but then you won’t get +1 Dexterity and Charisma, Acrobatics proficiency to jump up entire castles with ease, and the Observant feat to show off why they call you the Skillful Star. This feat gives you +1 Wisdom, the ability to read lips, and you get +5 to your passive Perception and Investigation scores so your disguises are a bit more detailed.
Of course you get the Criminal background, giving you Deception and Stealth proficiencies.
Ability Scores
Speaking of being the Skillful Star, all that martial arts training should make your Dexterity pretty freaking high. After that is Charisma, you’re really good at disguises, and almost as good at making convincing arguments. Almost. After that is Wisdom for more skill and more observational skills. Your Constitution isn’t half bad, you can take a lot of damage and keep going. When you’re fighting against Guda. When you’re actually on their team, that’s a different story. Your Strength should probably be a bit higher, but it’s not very useful for the build. Finally, dump Intelligence. Sassy-shin is many things to many people, but Himbo is definitely one of them.
Class Levels
1. Monk 1: Starting with monk will help you get your shirtless scenes going earlier thanks to your Unarmored Defense giving you an AC based on your dexterity and wisdom. You also get some Martial Arts, letting you use dexterity instead of strength when fighting, giving you a minimum of a d4 in damage when using unarmed attacks, and you can attack as a bonus action if you attack as an action.
On top of all that, you also get proficiency with Strength and Dexterity saves as well as Athletics for even better climbing skills and Insight, because you can’t manipulate people if you don’t know what they want.
2. Monk 2: Second level monks get Ki points each short rest equal to their monk level. Currently, that lets you Dash, Disengage, Dodge, or Attack Twice as a bonus action, but more stuff will come up as we go. Your Unarmored Movement also lets you move just a bit faster while shirtless.
3. Bard 1: Your impersonation powers come from the doppelganger, a fictional creature (also you’re fictional, but hush), so bard’s as good as any class to get their powers from. Grabbing bard second gives you Perception proficiency for even more detailed disguises, as well as Bardic Inspiration. Right now they’re a pool of d6s that recharge on long rests. You can hand out to allies to help them with their d20 rolls-checks, saves, attacks, all that good stuff. Unless your DM somehow incorporated C. Stars into their game, this is one of the closest ways you have to get the actual Skillful Star skill in D&D.
Beyond that, you also learn a couple Spells that use your Charisma to cast. Light helps your dumb human eyes see in the dark and also do the glowy hand thing. It won’t actually help with damage, but it looks cool, and that’s what’s really important. You also get Vicious Mockery, tbh stealing the memory of an enemy’s loved ones means you can get some really disturbing insults.
For first level spells, grab Bane for more insults, Disguise Self for a cheapo disguise that doesn’t even work physically, Longstrider to press your speed advantage further, and Heroism, because you’re a pretty nice guy when you put aside the identity theft.
4. Bard 2: Second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, adding half your proficiency bonus to checks that you’re not proficient in, even making you a little bit faster by boosting your initiative bonus. You can also use a Song of Rest to add a d6 to the healing your party does over a short rest. I mean, you’re a character in a novel, you’ve got to have some good stories to share, right?
For your spell this level, grab Speak with Animals. Working with Lobo is always rough, but at least now you’ll be able to tell his “I’ll tear you limb from limb” bark from his “I’ll tear you limb from limb later” bark.
5. Bard 3: Your doppelganger side grants you the power of a bard from the college of Whispers. When you join the college, you can use your bardic inspiration to create Psychic Blades, adding 2d6 psychic damage to a weapon attack once per turn. I’ve given up trying to figure out if hitting things with your hands count as weapon attacks, so maybe just keep a knife on standby.
You also learn Words of Terror, spending a minute alone with your target to force a wisdom save (DC 8+proficiency+charisma mod) or they become frightened of a creature you choose for up to an hour or until it or an ally takes damage where it can see you. You can use this once per short rest, and if they succeed on their save there’s not tell that you did anything. You also get Expertise in Insight and Deception to make your disguises flawless.
Your spell this time is Enhance Ability, making you even better at whatever you set out to do by giving you (or another creature) advantage on one kind of ability check. For those of you playing along at home, this means you now have a +8 to deception checks, with advantage. Even without your disguises, you’re already doing pretty well for yourself.
6. Bard 4: But “pretty well” isn’t perfect. We can do better. Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Actor feat, rounding up your Charisma for extra inspiration and stronger spells. You also get advantage on deception and performance checks to act as a different person, no spells required. On top of all that, you can mimic the speech of a creature you’ve heard talking for at least a minute, requiring a contested Insight check vs your Deception check to figure things out.
For those rare times you’re trying to be yourself, you can also use Friends to get advantage instead. When that inevitably backfires, use Mirror Image to create some shadow clones for an easier escape. The spell makes three copies of yourself, and when you would get hit by an attack there’s a 75% chance it will hit one of them instead. After they take a hit for you, they pop, reducing the odds of blocking the next attack. MI is technically UA, but it’s not exactly a massive power boost.
7. Bard 5: Fifth level bards see their inspiration dice grow to d8s. While that doesn’t affect your psychic blades, your Font of Inspiration does, letting you recharge inspiration on short rests for more consistent support and damage.
You also learn how to Feign Death to escape any criminal/detective duos on your trail. Admittedly this isn’t as effective as disguising yourself as a civilian, as it basically knocks you out for an hour, giving you resistance to most types of damage and prevents any sort of effect from diseases or poison.
8. Bard 6: The sixth level of bard is where our plan really comes together. No, I’m not talking about Countercharm, get that shit outta here. We’re here for the Mantle of Whispers, letting you steal a humanoid’s shadow when it dies nearby once per short rest. Using their shadow, you can create an hour-long disguise that not only makes you look like the person, but gives you information they would give away to acquaintances. Creatures can see through the disguise with an Insight check against your Deception check, but you get a +5 to that, on top of everything else.
9. Monk 3: Stealing peoples’ identity is nice, but it’s time we got back to punching good. Third level monks get their way, and Way of Shadow helps you take advantage of Shinjuku’s oppressive atmosphere to make the town your own. Your Shadow Arts lets you cast spells like Darkness, Darkvision, Pass without Trace, or Silence using your Ki points. You can also cast Minor Illusion to take your stealth to the next level with some free distractions.
Besides all that, you can Deflect Missiles, catching them out of the air to reduce damage and possibly even throwing them back as a reaction.
Now that you have a bunch of things eating away at your Ki points, you can use your Ki-Fueled Attack to attack as a bonus action if your main action uses your Ki. Now nothing can stop you from delivering those hands.
10. Monk 4: Been a while since your last ASI, huh? Use this one to boost your Dexterity for a better AC and stronger attacks. You can also Slow Fall as a reaction, reducing fall damage by five times your monk level. As Moriarty could tell you, falling off a skyscraper hurts.
11. Monk 5: Fifth level monks get an Extra Attack each attack action, and you can turn those attacks into Stunning Strikes by using Ki. If the target fails a constitution save all attacks on them for the round have advantage. Great way to fish for crits for your psychic blades.
12. Monk 6: Sixth level monks get Ki-empowered Strikes, making your unarmed attacks magic against resistances. You’re a Tier-3 character, you’ll probably need this.
You can also use your brand new Shadow Step to teleport between shadows as a bonus action. Moving so quickly also gives you advantage on your next attack.
13. Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells, like using Phantasmal Killer to create a more offensive shadow clone. For up to a minute one targeted creature needs to make a wisdom save. If they fail, they’re frightened and at the end of each turn they have to make another wisdom save or they take psychic damage.
14. Bard 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma again for stronger spells and inspiration. You can also use Freedom of Movement to escape from impossible binds. Just disguise yourself as a free person, I can’t believe nobody thought of this before.
15. Bard 9: Our last level of bard charges your Song of Rest to a d8, and you get a fifth level spell. Mislead lets you move so fast enemies will have to hit your afterimage, simultaneously turning you invisible and creating an illusion of yourself.  The illusion lasts for an hour, but you only stay invisible until you attack or cast another spell. It can speak or gesture just like you, and you can even see through its eyes.
16. Monk 7: Seventh level monks finally get Evasion, turning your dex saves into supersaves. Now your failures deal as much damage as your successes, and your successes avoid all damage entirely. Your Stillness of Mind also lets you shut down effects that are charming or frightening you.
17. Monk 8: Use your last ASI to bump up your Wisdom for a stronger AC. Technically grabbing more Dexterity would be better here, but I like rounding stuff up more than capping it out. Makes room for DM stuff.
18. Monk 9: Your Unarmored Movement Improvement lets you run up walls and over water, so long as you don’t end your turn there. You can finally climb up that huge freaking castle you’ve been eyeing for a while!
19. Monk 10: Tenth level monks get a Purity of Body that makes you immune to disease and poison. At least this isn’t your capstone?
20. Monk 11: As an eleventh level shadow monk gets a Cloak of Shadows, letting you disguise yourself as a Vashta Narada as an action, becoming invisible in dim light or darker. This lasts until you attack, cast a spell, or leave the shadows. I’m pretty sure this qualifies for that whole “cast no shadow” thing you’re always going on about, right?
Pros:
You are the one true imposter. With advantage as well as +21 to all your deception rolls to disguise yourself, you’re pretty much undiscoverable. On top of that, you’re also great at reading people with a +15 to insight. The only person doing impressions around here is you, thank ya kindly.
Like all monks, you’re really fast, with 50′ of movement speed, dash options, teleporting options, and ways to make yourself even faster via magic. You go down harder than the KT event, but you’re fine as long as you don’t get hit.
You also come with tons of ways to mess with the enemy. Make yourself invisible, shoot darkness like a squid shoots ink, have them chasing an illusion, or even just disguise yourself as a loved one. You are a terror to fight.
Cons:
Touching on that thing I said back in Pro #2, you’re pretty squishy, with barely over 100 HP and only 17 AC. Stick to the shadows, you’ll need them.
You also have a serious issue with range. Anything that can outspeed you will find it pretty easy to have you running in circles, since your best ranged attacks are cantrips.
This build is also a little bit complicated, with balancing your Ki, inspirations, who you can disguise as, who you can mimic, and all that fun stuff. Like a lot of the clever people builds, don’t expect to play this one like you would a barbarian.
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redwineconversation · 2 years
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Team doesn't seem itself, maybe I'm being paranoid
They were fine - not bad - until the red card which completely affected their performance. They just collapsed after that.
I think there were two factors at play - one, they didn’t trust the ref, and two, they didn’t trust each other suddenly.
When you have inconsistent calls, and then a harsh call against you, you’re going to play on the back foot. I don’t think Lyon necessarily had a Plan B - and I blame Bompastor for this - aka a plan when they could no longer press Juventus into giving up the ball.
And the second factor, as I said, is they stopped trusting each other. I don’t think this team trusts Maro yet. The chemistry isn’t there with the younger players - Damaris, Macario, Carpenter - and the older players remember her crashing the Maserati. Taking Macario off, who was arguably our best player, and putting Marozsan on just affected the dynamic. The younger players just don’t trust her to make the right decisions, which means they are reluctant to give her the ball, and I think Marozsan senses that - and then the self-doubt pushes her into an error.
The chemistry also isn’t there with Horan (yet?) because as I said, it feels like she has been there for like 3-4 practices since January. I’m almost more inclined to give her a pass more than Marozsan because in this case they literally don’t know her.
When Le Sommer got the red earlier in the season (Bordeaux? I think?), it was (1) closer to the end and (2) didn’t cause as much of a blow because it didn’t affect their game plan as much. Losing Carpenter, who typically plays the full 90 minutes, was a blow because now they were down a defender instead of a forward and also meant they lost the beginning of the press.
I also think - and this could be bias - that there’s a lack of trust in the non-confirmed big game players (Malard, Laurent, and you can make a case for Renard for reasons I will go into). I’ve complained over and over again about Malard’s shit decision making. She hasn’t learned (yet?) when to make the right choice. And because of that, the team doesn’t trust her to make the right choice, which then triggers her to do something OTT to get back in their good graces, but when it doesn’t work, the team feels justified in their lack of trust. Laurent just can’t perform at this level.
But let’s talk about Renard. I think all defenders had a good first half. Renard made that really good tackle and I was like, yeah. I know this team. I trust this team. But following the red card the defense fell apart completely, and Renard stopped performing. The second goal was entirely her fault. When Renard is on, she is lethal. When she is off, you are carrying around dead weight.
I also think, maybe, they don’t trust (like?) Bouhaddi the way they trust (like?) Endler, and I think that shifts the dynamic as well. On the one hand they have known Bouhaddi for years. They know that you want her on your side in a UWCL final. But she also increases your stress levels and makes ~controversial choices which put you under pressure.
After the red card, Lyon’s fear spiked because they could no longer press, they were down a defender, which meant that Bouhaddi would be more exposed. And I think the fear dominated over the trust. Maybe they remember how Bouhaddi threw an ultimatum. Maybe they don’t trust her the way they do Endler to keep things calm. Maybe a lot of things.
Anyway, did the team seem off? Yeah. But let’s talk about why, too, because I feel that helps put things in context.
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