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#ur other friends don’t live within five minutes of u
suguruplsr · 5 months
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4:00 AM
✰ your boyfriend picking you at damn near 4 am leads to you two fucking. not your fault he’s fine..
,, toji x fem reader , fluff + nsfw , some plot , loosely related to this , masturbation (m) , clit rubbing , he cums on your pussy , grinding , you ride his chest , use of “daddy” , body worship ? , light nipple & cum play , dirty talk , pet names (baby , mama , my lady , princess but jokingly , ) , mentioned that toji stole ur panties before (consensual)
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“same city, same hoes, can’t move sour”
“at this hour, it’s 4:00 am with you now what?”
“it’s ‘bout to go down”
“yeah, you left your crew, now what?”
“it’s ’bout to go down”
“shorty, what you wanna do?” - Pistashios, Brent Faiyaz
you stood outside of your local bar, light clothes with a puffy bubble coat, worst choice of clothes to wear considering you stayed with your whiskey all night. on the rocks of course.
maybe you’ve overdone it, it was so damn early in the morning, and you got there at 11 pm? maybe even 10. all you remember is your friends deciding to gang up together, who’ve probably left you by now, to make your night better than that trashy 9 to 5 job you work at everyday. well, worked. stupid old crusty men with their favoritism. you let it slide for a few months after he was appointed as your manger at the little boutique down the street. but even with the disgusting and not-so-smooth tone of his voice, you were pretty— no, hella fucking underpaid. and of course men like him switch up the second you question their behaviors.
at least toji wasn’t like that.
toji. oh fuck. you remember telling you’d let him know when you’d get home. which you clearly have no way getting to. especially after he gave you an eye roll, on the phone, when you gave a last second call to just tell him where you were. he swears you called so late because you wouldn’t be able to handle his judgment for you going to go get yourself shit-faced. but really, you did forget the “caring” man had goal of always being able to keep you safe, or at least keep up with your location, in case of emergencies. something that’s a high risk within this dump of a city.
your shaky and cold fingers tap through your phone, cursing yourself when it hits something else than your messages, eager to just get away from the building.
Friday [3:32 am] y/n — cranky: can u come pick me up..
Friday [3:32 am] cranky — pretty loser: you better explain yourself.
damn. same minute, and a period? as much as you love that man, you cannot handle a sassy ass toji, and most definitely not when there’s still fizzes of alcohol in you. you don’t want to end up in the wrong, right, bed because of some stupid shit you may say to fight back his side eyes.
you walk away from the double doors of the bar, heading towards the parking lot. you lean against the brick wall, watching the coldness of your breath drift off into the air. rnb music played softly in your earbuds, few people roaming the streets in the dark night. you could lightly hear a few drunken men exiting the bar doors with slurred words and laughs, all patting each others back.
how can they be so lively at this time of night? must’ve been a celebration.
well you don’t have room to talk. a bit impatient, you checked the time, 3:38. five minutes. now that you think about it, you weren’t sure how far toji’s house was from here.
distracting yourself, you ponder over the, “calculations”, in your head of about how much time it’d take for him to get here. well, until you hear the familiar engine of his ford mustang, you wonder how he was even able to afford the latest model.
but considering his occupation, you lose the thought all together.
it took 12 minutes in total. the second the suspicious black card is parked in front of you, you’re walking towards it with a fast pace. almost opening the door until he’s opening his door and quickly locking the doors. “what the fuck..?” you mutter, glaring at toji as he walks around the car with a huff of annoyance.
oh.
okay maybe he has some gentleman qualities, you think, letting him unlock and open the door for you, suffering the pain of touching the cold ass handle. yet he still hasn’t talked, not when he got in, not when he got back on the road with a hand on the wheel and the other in your hold, and not when he’s sat at a red light, currently giving you judgmental glances that are more painful than the silence.
“i wasn’t checking the time.” “yea no shit.” okay, you can do this.. you hope. “sooo maybe you shouldn’t look at me like that..?” you sing, holding toji’s hand a bit tighter, it’s big and warm, a comforting warmth that you bring up to your lips with a soft peck. “well maybe you shouldn’t have shit friends.” he grumbles, pressing the gas as soon as the light changes, unconsciously nudging his hand closer to feel your soft lips.
“oh c’mon, we were hanging out for hours. they probably had too much to drink and forgot about me or something..” you hum, turning to him and leaning over the arm rest, running a hand along his arm as he brings his fingers up to your chin. “did they ever text you?” he scoffs, squishing your cheeks, yet his eyes don’t leave the road. even if he did want to give you a knowing look from the sound of your silence as your check your phone.
3:51 • [no new messages]
and your mood falls downcast. biting your lip in nervousness as he waits for your response, maybe they’ll tell you their excuse later in the morning.
“you can’t blame them, it’s almost 4 am” you murmur. and he tuts, keeping your head upright as soon as you put down your phone. you know this street, the last light that leads to his creepy stale neighborhood full of rich old folks. wait, his neighborhood?
you don’t even have the energy to question his route. you just hope you don’t see that one old hag who always nags you two about your relationship.
the red beam reflects in your eyes, all doey and flickering him with a tiny pout tugging your lips. “well i don’t like their lack of care for their dear friend. next time you should just go with me.. and weren’t you the reason why you all even went? tsk.” toji’s face scrunch up, disdain clear in his expression while you ponder over his words.
“nothing’s gonna change your mind?” “nada.” and you sit back defeated. he hand moves to your thigh, squeezing it firmly as a light of green flashes. you stay silent, fiddling with his fingers. which are crazily bigger than yours, and could definitely use a trim. maybe you could cut his cuticles too? is that even safe? he could use a spa day in general, plus a massage, you’ve seen the way he’s twisted his body in insane ways just to crack his back.
you’re shaken from your thoughts when the music in the background stops, car parked and off as he steps out his door. after earlier, you were well reminded to not even touch the door handles, how could you ever forget that? he’s always been adamant on that.
he’s opening the door, greeting you with a small grin, “does the princess need to be carried?” toji chuckles lightly, giving you a hand and guiding you out of the car. “very funny.” you roll your eyes, a smile on your face as he locks the car doors and fishes through his keys for the one meant for the front door.
you walk out the shower, exhausted. and before you can even think of getting comfortable on his bed, you’re distracted by the figure on it.
it’s not like you haven’t seen toji’s body before, far from that, but it’s just something about it. his shirt off with a pair of sweats on. he was laying back against the headboard arms spread wide on it for you to slip easily in them. all with his eyes closed and comfortable.
his muscles are defined, probably made by greek gods from how perfectly they’re structured. and he’s so broad, taking up over half of the space with his large shoulders. just the sight of his neck makes you ache, you’re not sure why that is. but the way he tilts his head back, adam’s apple sticking out, makes you want to sit on his lap and kiss all over it, hands traveling along his physique.
“your mind must be in the gutter. y’r eatin’ me up like no tomorrow..”
toji calls you out with a smirk playing in his face, head tilting towards you. and you saunter over to him without hesitation, oblivious to the way his eyes darken in realization to what you’re wearing.
you don’t keep much clothes at his house, so you usually find yourself wearing his shirts with panties. panties, that he steals off you every now and then. but today you opted for wearing a little white spaghetti strap with a pair of cute pair of matching lace panties. the less, the better.
his eyes are stuck on the way your breasts jiggle when you take your spot on his lap, arms wrapping around his neck and pulling yourself closer. “i can’t help it. i just love your body..” you coo with a playful pout, letting your hands swarm along his body. it’s slow, adoring every inch of his skin and sometimes griping his muscles.
“i can say the same baby.” toji mutters, breath hitching when your hands begin to run up and down on his stomach. he’s probably poking your thighs by now from how sensitive he feels when your fingers drag along the outline of his v-line.
“oh yeah?”
“fuck yeah.”
and you giggle, holding his face with one hand as you two enter a kiss. your lips fight against each other hungrily while your other hand reaches down between your thighs, feeling his hard length strain in his pants. toji grunts when you begin to rub your thighs on it, squeezing them together, and the friction makes him pull away from your lips, head thrown back.
“shit. gunna make me cum.” he huffs out, and it makes your pussy throb. it’s so attractive, the long of his neck, the way his muscles visibly tighten and he’s grabbing the headboard to stabilize himself. you move your hands back behind you, holding onto his legs, and keeping your hips up to grind on his hard cock with your legs spread around his body. it's fucking amazing, the way he could see and feel your clothed pussy, the outline of his cock dragging along your folds.
“wanna feel it on my panties daddy..” you give a whine, tucking out your lips and looking up at him so cutely. and how can he say no?
toji wastes no time rolling his pants down a bit, fishing out his cock and holding the base, directing it towards your white panties. you hold back a moan at the feeling of his tip nudging your bud through your panties. he gives a few tight and short jerks of his cock as you push your pussy impossibly closer. “fuckin’ dirty, bet ya want ‘em soaked all over. gonna cum on that pussy n’ rub your panties on it.” his words make you whimper, feeling his fingers push the cloth aside.
toji smirks at the sight of your soaping pussy, wet and sensitive to the cold air. his tip slips through your folds, gathering the slick on his cock. “tojiii, o-ohh..” you can feel your body aching to lay back, tightening your grip on his legs as he teases your entrance. you can’t even pull your eyes away from his cock. it’s so girthy, tip lightly red with veins bulging a bit. you can’t help but want to reach down help him, his pre cum was coming out in slow little blobs.
“do it really slow n’ hard, base up. i-imagine my tongue dragging under your cock, your cock flat on it.” you murmur out, turning into a whine when he follows your command, a deep groan escaping him, “f-fuck you know about this baby? feels fucking gooood.” toji heaves, slowly picking up the pace when your hole sucks his tip in.
“how do you think i suck you off so good?” you give a small grin when he’s letting out a low ‘fuuck’, quickly pulling back to let his dick sit on your folds, spurts and globs of cum spilling onto your pussy. his doesn’t stop his hand, trying to make your pussy as messy as possible, and gripping your thigh tightly with the other. then he snaps your panties back in place, making you squirm from the hot feeling of his cum spreading around your pussy.
“oooh, ya feel that? s’all mushy n’ warm, yea?” toji chuckles, his eyes watching as a patch of wetness slowly forms on the cloth. “mhm! love it so much, but i wanna drag it all over y’r chest toji! been thinkin’ about it..” your whimpers has his dick twitching again, mindlessly pushing your panties against your hole, feeling around it. “fucking spoiled.” he scoffs.
and now here you are, both of you bare and naked with hickies and marks all over each other, sitting on his wide large chest, pussy flush against his muscles. “you can do it yourself right? c’mon mama, you got it.” toji gives a small smile, arms behind his head as you hold onto his shoulders. “y-yea, i got itt.. mm” when your pussy drags along the line of his chest, you fall down to little mewls, feeling every muscle of his chest.
“you see it baby? look at you makin’ a mess on me.” his body vibrates with his chuckle, going straight to your pussy. you drag your cunny on his defined muscles, going all the way down to his six pack. you bite your lip at the sight of his chest covered in the slick of your mixed cum.
it'd make a good wallpaper, you think.
"makes you look pretty." you mutter, not even thinking as you drag your fingers along the stream, before gripping on his sides and pulling yourself up. but before you can admire his nipples, he's flexing his chest, making you hold onto his biceps at the feeling.
"cute n' all but i wanna see her squirt on me." toji grins, moving his arms and holding you body upright with one hand.
his fingers pull a whine out you when he rubs your clit, tilting your body back a bit so he can smack your cunt with the palm of his hand. "toji!" "nah, wanna hear what you said earlier." and your stomach twists, he likes being called daddy? that's a first.
"can you make me cum daddy? wanna make y'r chest drip with my cum." your voice it slurred, giving him a pouty whine and biting that pretty lip of yours in frustration. and he's grinning, holding your body firmly.
"whatever my lady wants~" he teases, pressing your thighs down as much as he can to make sure your pelvis is pressed tightly against his body with no care for the way your knees hurt, because the sounds of your incoherent moans are better. you’re clawing his chest, being dragged so slowly on it and its so antagonizing. he even reaches down with a thumb to play with your bud, making your thigh shake around him.
“cum on me baby..” he whispers, his eyes trained on your gooey folds as the coil in your tummy breaks. “daddy—!” you cry, all teary as he keeps guiding you along his chest, not letting you escape your high and you both watch how the cum and juices leaving your cunny trickles onto his chest. “so cute..drippin’ all on me..” he groans when you smear your juices on one of his nipples, a coy smile playing on your face and asking him what you’ve been desperate for in a sweet tone.
“can i have y’r cock now daddy?”
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loddydobbs · 3 years
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fuck man your mental illness is an explanation for you behavior not an excuse you still have to take accountability when you hurt people
depression sucks but so does being ignored/berated/invalidated and then being expected to get over it because “well i’m mentally ill so it’s not my fault”
yes it is
you still made the decision to do those things even if you didn’t want to or mean to
your actions, even during a depressive state, still affect other people. shocking i know
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norcumii · 3 years
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TW: abuse, suicide, depression, fandom wank, purity culture
There’s a post floating around this corner of fandom recently, by someone claiming to be fifteen:
if ur like at or over the age of 30 and u invest time into fandom spaces and shipping please touch a blade of grass. pay ur taxes or something. log off
Now, I’m not reblogging their post with this commentary because I’ve blocked them and that seems unfair and unkind, but also because they’re fifteen, and if that doesn’t entitle one to have ridiculous opinions on the internet, what does?
But I do have some words I need to say.
I was over thirty when I fell into the Clone Wars fandom. I used to have been in Star Wars – I gave it up during the Prequels era (when they were in the theaters and everything), because it didn’t hold my interest. Looking back, it’s because I didn’t have access to the information that Wookieepedia provides, and the insights provided by experience and life – and thus understanding of politics and humanity in general.
And that’s ok. I still have very fond memories of my older-than-thirty parents letting me stay up late to watch the OT, and even fonder memories of my grandmother enjoying sitting down with me and VHS tapes of Return of the Jedi – her favorite of the trilogy.
I fell back into the fandom in 2014 – after the Clone Wars series ended. I was over thirty. I was suicidal. I was stuck in an abusive relationship. I woke up each morning sleep deprived and regretting I had to face yet another day.
I was just killing time because I wasn’t brave enough to kill myself – and the attempts I did make proved I wasn’t very good at that, either.
But in the process of just marking time, I read fic because I had just enough energy to be able to immerse myself in stories that had roots in movies and shows I used to like. I could find some smidge of enjoyment in further, non-canonical adventures, and ANY smidge of enjoyment those days was a gods-damned miracle.
I got on tumblr. I found other fandom people. One of them recommended The Clone Wars if I wanted to watch something, and hey, it was on Netflix.
I cried within five minutes of starting the first episode. The voice acting, the sounds – this was a fragment of my childhood I hadn’t realized I had missed. It reminded me of my dead grandmother, some of the good times with my family that by then, lived far away – and seemed even further away from the daily hell I called a life.
I fell in love with the clones: the potential, the romance and the tragedy of it all. Then slowly, so slowly I didn’t realize it was happening, a thought began to settle into my head.
I loved these characters, these clones who had nothing, who were stuck in a terrible situation with no escape, and I felt both fondness and outrage at their circumstances. I wanted better for them. I wanted them to have good lives, good opportunities, a chance to escape to become whatever they might want to be.
And maybe....
If I could care about that many imaginary people....
If I could look at these folks who didn’t exist and say “this isn’t fair, this isn’t right, you matter”–
Maybe –
Maybe I might matter too. Maybe I might deserve better. Oh, there was no question in my mind that they were far better beings than I ever might be, but there were too many parallels, of being trapped by a supposed benevolent dictator who was actually a manipulator draining everything from them – I wasn’t as, would never be as deserving, but....
I could make these absolutist statements about the clones. The Jedi. Hell, even the corrupt Republic deserved better than what Sidious wrought.
What made me so much worse that I might deserve what my abuser put me through?
Then I cautiously started asking these questions of myself, and asking other questions of those around me – fandom people, since my abuser kept me far too busy to make friends in brick space. These fandom people who were certainly above the twenty year mark, and more than a few who were also above thirty. They reassured me of various points of reality: no, what I was experiencing wasn’t normal; no, folks in relationships don’t argue like that. They could rec fic to me, stories with relationships like mine that were tagged “abuse” so I could recognize it, so I could read it and go “oh, that’s what a more normal person would do.”
I could cry about my circumstances and not feel like a useless, whiny little bitch who just needed to be better, who should be perfect all the time, who needed to be there for her guy because that’s what people do when they care.
I could look at that last sentence, and go “wait. People who care about their partners don’t demand that of them, especially not when it is literally killing them.” If I imagined any person treating the clones the way my abuser treated me, the sheer outrage was off the charts.
Star Wars – Star Wars fandom – quite literally saved my life.
While I was in my thirties.
Those fans, those friends, and the communal appreciation for the clones and all the rest of the mess that is Star Wars were reasons to live when I have tried giving up on everything else.
So yeah, I’m not gonna dogpile on some kid who thinks that after thirty you’re not allowed any good or fun things in life. But I do need to say “thank you” to you – all of you, those reading this who have any participation in fandom.
You’re lifesavers.
Thank you.
Thank you, and please, keep enjoying fandom for as long as you want. We all have different reasons we’re here, but we all have a right to live, to exist, and be happy.
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bigbrotherlouis · 3 years
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i’m obsessed with joel farabee and morgan frost and you should be too: a primer
hello! welcome! recently i have become infatuated with morgan frost and joel farabee for a lot of reasons but mostly because of that one post that i spent like twenty minutes searching various blogs for that said “people are freaking out about sexualising hockey players, meanwhile joel farabee is one instagram comment away from telling morgan frost he’d suck him dry.” in my head rent free. hit a girl up if you have the post.
anyway! frosty and beezy:
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[hard cut to me whispering “oh my god even their nUMBERS are friends” i’m fine.]
this is more like about vibes and less about facts, so you can google if you want to know more about their, like, bios and stats and stuff that’s not 99% rpf or conjecture. this primer is just the things that make me scream. however, that being said, they do play well on a line together and both are very good players.
joel farabee is american, from new york i believe but his dad is from philly, and falls neatly into the category of BORN TO BE A FLYER. longtime fan, hugely excited to play for the team, brings it up all the time.
morgan frost, from ontario canada, was not.
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a real, actual tweet. he tweeted this with his WHOLE chest and then joined the flyers like three years later. i adore it. another real actual tweet i adore:
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sweet, sweet joel. he misses his buddies :( no doubt including morgan because they are, by all appearances, obsessed with each other. i’m trying not to keep  using the word obsessed in this primer but it’s hard because they are. morgan’s a year older, a first round draft pick in 2017 and joel’s a first round pick in 2018, but they didn’t start playing together until 2019, i believe, because joel played for a college team in boston. side note: he also captained team usa and wore a number 28 in honour of claude giroux and i am absolutely not okay about it.
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e! mo! tion! al! incidentally, frosty wears danny briere’s number when he plays for the flyers, which. take from that what you will. iykyk. their NUMBERS are FRIENDS. HERITAGE SOULMATES. joel’s been called up to play on the flyers (and did really well in the playoffs!) but we’re still waitin’ for morgan to come along too but the coaching staff hasn’t recognised the raw power of true love yet so.
at this point, you’re probably saying “sasha shut up about their fucking numbers and talk about why they’re obsessed with each other” but good news! i do not need to do that because the official flyers media has done that for me! (x) i’d recommend watching it because it’s a lot packed into a neat 100 seconds, but notable moments include the voice over saying “joel farabee and morgan frost have found that going at it together has its benefits” within the first thirty seconds. that is a real direct quote. i can’t believe it either. there’s also a lot of light homoerotic bonding over playing chel, them sitting across from each other  on their beds, the admission of being ROOMMATES (oh my god they were roommates), this shot of them sitting with their mouths wide open on either side of their dad,
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and also joel wearing a hat with a canadian maple leaf on it, despite being from the the united states. wonder where he got that from. please watch the video.
when they’re not playing chel or, you know, going at it together, they’re being horny in each other’s instagram comments. there’s honestly.... so many of these that i can include but we’re just gonna go with my favourites.
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when i say i think about this comment on a picture of morgan with isaac ratcliffe, a fellow flyers prospect on a daily basis, i mean it. i’ll be just doing my thing, minding my own business, and MORGAN MAKES ME VENMO HIM JUST TO TALK will pop into my head, completely uninvited. king shit for morgan to do and king shit for joel to admit on social media for the world to see, but joel admitting things he maybe shouldn’t is a running theme. 
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cool. TOTALLY not flirting or anything.
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joel. also both their exhibitionist streaks should be explored in fic more i am JUST sayin.
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ok but bee you were lookin. like you can chirp but you were lookin, don’t lie. 
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when ur in love with ur roommate but ur both hockey players so u can only communicate that love via chirping when he’s with the boys :(
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what’s it called when you vibe really well with someone and also live with them and also comment on their shirtlessness and also maybe kiss them on the mouth a little? d... da... dating?? can’t be it.
morgan is a little more composed in the comments and mostly just posts inside jokes i cannot comprehend, or compliments. it’s still cute.
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this was on a playoffs pic where joel’s wearing #28 love 2 see it love a supportive boyf always
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this one was of joel with a fish he caught and i’m sorry but i did not want it on my phone.
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but morgan can’t hide his affection for long. (me, in the distance: TWENTY EIGHT TWENTY EIGHT TWENTY EIGHT!!!!!!!)
there’s more comments but they’re boring and this is long, mostly joel chirping  morgan for wearing baseball or football stuff. however! they are also on twitter where they keep each other humble after incredible goals, like bros do,
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this is DEFINITELY flirting. like, blatant. it’s like that kind of flirting when you’re thirteen and you don’t know what to do with your body so you just kinda steal your crush’s stuff or insult them because all attention is good attention, right??
but when push comes to shove, beezy is always gonna look out for his boy (because they are in love):
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some important pictures of them together, for your pleasure: 
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this is so DUMB and i love it
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friends supporting friends!!!
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this is them meeting their hockey dads :) so cute :) joel is promising g that he’ll have morgan back by ten yessir he will be respectful of boundaries and curfew. jake is high fiving morgan on getting some. this is facts i just call em like i see em.
and finally!
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is this allowed?????  is this allowed???? it’s hard to tell but i’m pretty sure that’s joel on his knees for in front of morgan and i just??? how is that allowed???? it’s been five days and this picture has RUINED me. someone write me an essay to have on my desk by morning, stat.
also v unrelated but here is a video of morgan frost reading, proving he’s the smart one in the relationship. that’s not saying much but, hey! at least there’s proof he can read.
obviously different ships capture people in different ways but there’s something about them to me, personally, that is just so captivating. there’s a lot of potential for different fic vibes, and joel in particular always has a really fun voice to read (and also to write). they definitely have chemistry, they’re pitted against each other so there’s a good-natured rivalry going on, CLOTHES SHARING AND HERITAGE SOULMATE NUMBERS, and, like, they just genuinely seem to enjoy each other. someone PLEASE write more fic for them or by god i’ll have to do it myself.
ok that’s everything for now, i believe. they’re in love and don’t care who knows it and i’m obsessed. (however, i’m also obsessed with joel farabee and andrei svechnikov together, for which i have a one-picture argument for here.)
(p.s. anything not linked i screenshotted myself thank youuu for reading have a good day and remember: morgan makes joel vemno him just to talk 😌)
edit: hello. i wrote this on election night as a way to take off the edge of my nerves and it is not as funny or screechy as i wanted it to be so i’m going to add some now.  
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utterlyinevitable · 3 years
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After seeing ur explanation for that anon i really want to see a fic or a hc of ethan as a dad and becca as mom can u please do it??
omg okay ahhh my babys having babies. this is gonna be long and idk if it’ll make sense bc imma jot down everything i know about domestic e&b.  
[just finished and... this is long and broken down into 6 categories........... enjoy!]
Ethan & Becca as Parents
The Pregnancy 
They didn’t plan on having children, it just kind of happened. Becca and Ethan took a day for the news to settle before they jumped into excited, expecting parents mode.
The most exciting part was renovating the condo to make the most perfect nursery and shopping for decorations and mentally planning all the traditions and things they’d love to give to their little family. 
All of the happiness couldn’t mask the struggles of pregnancy. 
Becca hated being pregnant. She was sick and nauseous constantly, and her back and feet always ached. 
Throughout the whole thing Ethan doted on her; holding her hair back and learning how to tie it up in the way she likes, rubbing her back, running out to get whatever she was craving. 
He even made copious amounts of notes about her eating patterns. Enough to keep two of everything in the condo. 
If she was having a restless night, he would too; even if she was restless for non-human-growing reasons. 
They were in this together.
And even when she was huddled over a garbage pail, dribble running down her chin, she never looked more beautiful to him. 
There was just something about all this that made him feel all weird and fuzzy inside. 
When her symptoms barely settled throughout the second trimester she overhauled her entire birthing plan. There was no way she was making it to 42 weeks. She was absolutely miserable. So she made a c-section appointment for 40 weeks. 
She had an entire argument with Ethan one evening (she really was only yelling while he nodded his head). Her main points were:  “It’s my body and the baby will be fine. I was born 6 weeks early and I turned out fantastic!” and  “Once the baby’s out of me I’m still going to have to pee. Omg what if she rips me open!? How am I supposed to use the bathroom without worrying about my stitches?”  
All he kept reiterating was:  “I love you. I trust you and your instincts.” 
Becca felt better as he held her face in his large hands, his calming azure eyes boring into hers and letting her know everything will be alight. 
But deep down she spent the next few weeks since making the appointment wondering if she should have given vaginal birth a try. She didn’t want Ethan to resent her for chickening out of her body’s natural function. 
The Birth 
Becca made it to her c-section appointment. Happily rubbing her large belly and glowing:  “I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore! Never do this to me again.” 
All Ethan did was chuckle. 
He was happy she was getting color back and that her symptoms finally settled enough for her to spend the last few weeks enjoying their daughters kicks. But oh my god was Ethan Ramsey terrified of being a father. 
He wouldn’t tell Becca though. She was emotional and worried enough as is. Any and all his concerns were saved for the short conversations he had with his father.  “Don’t overthink it, son. The moment you lay eyes on your daughter you’ll know what to do. It’s instinct. Biology. That was your best subject in school, wasn’t it?” Alan would joke.  
The surgery went off without a hitch. 
All of Becca’s hatred for the phenomenon of pregnancy vanished the second the nurse placed their daughter on her chest. 
Rebecca was in awe. She made that! This little person came out of her! This little pink person that looks like a plucked chicken with a tiny tuft of brown hair was here and she was beautiful. The perfect combination of her and Ethan. 
The embodiment of their love.   
Dakota Dolores Ramsey was completely unplanned. Unplanned but not unwanted.  
The first time Ethan Ramsey held his daughter time froze. The universe needed a minute to process the broad grin and full heart thumping rapidly from this stoic and reserved man. 
The earth was about to spin the wrong way but then Dakota opened her eyes.
Everything was the way divinity had planned it.  
At Home
Although Ethan and Becca lived a 10 minutes drive from Edenbrook, nearly a straight run, Becca forced him to drive as slow as possible. 
Dakota was asleep and she needed to keep it that way. 
Due to her stitches, Becca was forced to take things easy. No matter how many times she argued with Ethan that she was capable of menial tasks around the house. 
Ethan would not let her lift a finger. 
If Dakota needed a change he’d happily do it. if Becca was hungry he’d make her favorite. 
“You had her to yourself for nine months. Let me take the next few days.” Becca went to retort, all she wanted was to hold her baby for the rest of eternity. She’d never tire of looking at her scrunched up potato face and watching as her features changed every moment of every day. “I promise to share.” “You better,” she kissed him as he tucked her into bed for a much needed nap.
The only thing he was forced to share with his partner was feeding duty - Becca was adamant on breast feeding. A bottle would not touch their daughters lips for months to come. 
That in itself brought its own challenges. 
Most nights Ethan laid in bed with Becca curled up at his side in one arm and Dakota resting on his bare chest. 
Parenting was weird, but an exhilarating change. 
Ethan couldn’t diagnose what he could have possibly have done right in his life to be this wholly happy. 
The Second
Once Ethan and Becca had one child they were both itching for a second.
“You know what say: ‘if you have one you have to have two’.” “Is that so?”  “You don’t want Dakota to have a sibling?”  “I was an only child and look how I turned out.”  “Emotionally stunted and certified loner?” she teased. 
Truth be told, Ethan wanted another. He’s been thinking of giving his pride and joy a few siblings for weeks now. He just didn’t know how to tell Becca. 
Becca complained frequently about how happy she was to not be pregnant, and often about how her scar healed funnily. 
All of the signs pointed to her not wanting another. And Ethan was okay with that. He never expected to have one child. He’d cherish every moment of what’s been placed right in his fingertips. 
He’ll let his soon-to-be wife choose their path. She’s dictated everything else thus far. Ethan was elated she chose him to be along for the ride. 
After Dakota’s first birthday, when they made the decision to have another, they tried desperately to conceive.
“I really don’t want to have to deal with diapers for five years,” was Becca’s main reason for keeping the kids close in age.  “We can try surrogacy.” Ethan offered, knowing how much she hated pregnancy. He didn’t want to push her into anything.    “No. I have to do it. I’ll do it for our kids. But you owe me big time.”  
And 14 months later Caroline Marie Ramsey made her grand appearance. 
And Becca got her first push present. 
The Last 
It’s fitting that four years later Ethan and Becca were blessed with another surprise. 
Her pregnancy with James Jonah was the smoothest of them all. 
Of course that meant something had to go wrong. 
At 34 weeks Becca went into premature vaginal labor. 
Within six hours their baby boy arrived. 5lbs 2oz and looking like an alien. 
Ethan almost lost them both after the fact. 
Becca lost too much blood with the placenta and JJ was so tiny.  
But the Lao’s were fighters and they pulled through. Ethan cried at her bedside once the harrowing 24 hours were up. 
Becca stayed at the hospital for a week, Ethan and Alan bringing the girls to visit every single day. 
JJ had to stay a few days longer and Becca refused to leave until she could bring her son home. 
She went through her first experience with postpartum depression. Becca didn’t think anything could be worse than the mental toll her abortion had on her years earlier. But she was wrong.
She was so wrong. 
All their friends chipped in to help take care of the kids while Ethan devoted his time to helping his wife. The couple went to therapy, sometimes together, other times Ethan sat in the waiting room as Becca worked through her emotions. 
Months later, the parents were sitting at home. Ethan held their son and their daughters were curled on their laps: He muttered into his wife’s hair, “I’d like to have one more.”  “Not with me you’re not,” she scoffed. “We’re outnumbered as is.” 
JJ began to cry and the girls stirred. Dakota mumbling, “Tell the baby to shut up, I’m sleeping here.” 
They couldn’t help but laugh and pull apart to put their whole world to bed.  
Old and graying and spending more time at home with his kids, Ethan wanted just one more baby. Four was a strong, even number. He could have a whole daycare full of them - each one the best variations of him and Becca. 
Becca had spent a large portion of her 30s childrearing and she’s done. Done with diapers and formula, especially. She loves her children more than anything but they’re exhausting. She can’t wait for them to be in school full time and she can have some more alone time with her husband. It’s been so long since it’s been just them too.  
“Don’t hate me...”  “I could never hate you,” Ethan said as he brushed a few strands of hair from his wife’s face.  She swallowed and confidently said, “I want you to get a vasectomy.” 
He agreed without further consideration. She made a very compelling argument.  
Parenting 
Ethan is the doting helicopter dad and Becca is doctor drill sergeant. The kids get away with nothing under their mother’s watch. 
Ethan is very soft and adores his children. The grumpy attending could have a whole gaggle of them. He spoils his daughters rotten, picking up the newest doll and toy they’re obsessed with, and making them promise not to tell mommy. 
The women in Ethan’s life get away with everything and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
When the girls were born, Ethan stepped back at work letting the better Dr. Ramsey have her career defining moments.
He took half days to pick the girls up from preschool and would bring them to the park or museums. He’d even try to teach them to cook their favorite recipes on cold, rainy days. He’d tire them out so that he and mom could tuck them in after dinner.
Ethan’s afraid of his son. He’s afraid the tot is going to turn out exactly like him - he’s the spitting image, except that his hair curls like his mother’s. 
Instead of putting JJ in fulltime daycare, Ethan chose part time preschool. The girls were in primary school now and he’s taken a bigger step back from the hospital after the baby was born. 
He devotes all his free time to teaching his son about all he knows and learning all he doesn’t.  
Becca complains about the state of her vagina and stomach all the time. Never in front of the children but often enough Ethan knows the look on her face right before she says the same two lines.  
Her favorite activity is building forts and taking the kids to the beach. 
The holidays have never felt more alive with the full house. Ethan even became a Christmas and Valentines Day lover. 
Becca loved watching him change over the years. Every new first they celebrated with each child, every one of their kids passions, Ethan would adopt them all and make it his mission to be a connoisseur of every facet.
Dakota sat her parents down one day with a serious topic of conversation: “Mommy, Daddy. I’m going to be a fashion designer.” “Will you?”  “Yes. And I need to dress myself.” “As long as it’s weather appropriate, consider it done.”  “And we need to get supplies.” 
The conversation went on for 15 minutes with Ethan and Becca asking questions and Dakota making demands. Once they’ve settled on an agreement on how to make their daughter’s dream happen, Ethan retired to his office. He taught himself the basics of sewing.     
Even with all the struggles of raising three children in a suburb of Boston while balancing very demanding medical careers, Ethan and Becca wouldn’t have it any other way. The life they carved out of all their complications was worth it.  
All of this was inevitable. 
And they wouldn’t take a moment for granted.    
________________________________________
Um... this became bigger than intended... If you made it this far, thank you ♥
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jiminrings · 4 years
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I'll show you~ Can I please get a drabble of Yoongi as a roommate? Because I think that'd be an amazing IDEA- like srsly, he'd be the one to tell u to wake him early for his work stuff and then get grumpy in the morning and refuse to even moVE out of the bed and u have to bribe him with something to wake him up for hiS WORK. And he will most likely say "no" to any chores in the house but still do aLL of them nonetheless. aND though he hates hugs on occasions he might even ask for cuddles???
across the living room
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pairing: yoongi x y/n
wordcount: 3k
glimpse: you’re yoongi’s alarm clock, he aLWAYS acts that you’d be the bane of his existence, and his cooking actually tastes good if he wakes up early enough for it!!
notes: thank u so much for ur request baby i have nevEr written something so fast ever in my life because i was so :’’)
yoongi isn’t necessarily a bad roommate
of course nOt!!
because bad is relative and everyone has different variations of a bad roomie
he wasn’t messy or anything like that
it’s just the occasional clutter that he’d clean up himself
he isn’t rude either
well okay “rude” is aLSO relative
just because yoongi could be a little condescending most times
like when yOU do the grocery shopping and the first thing he’d do is look through the bags with some certain hums of approval
nice nice you picked the kimchi that wasn’t on sale because it was gonna expire the very next week like what you did with the last time
your picking and judgement for carton eggs are actually improving!!!
yoongi once called you an idiot for not smelling the carton of eggs first and in your defense you were in a hURRY
ok but he do be right they did stink the last time
hmmmm decent snacks
“why did you get this milk? i already told you to buy the other brand!! it has like a difference of three dollars and gOd if you’re short on it then ask me for it”
can that be called rude and condescending <3
or after yoongi’s milk tirade, he then goes picking at the other groceries you’ve gotten
you got less greens this time because if you’re being honest you’re getting sICK of seeing spinach and celery all the damn time
you’re the one who mostly cooks anyways and yoongi still insists that you use them
you could have a bagel for breakfast and hE’D PUT SPINACH ON IT
you’re getting a bit fed up with the color green nowadays so you got more fruits than vegetables!! frozen berries and yogurt are the superior match!!
there’s the “too-sweet diabetes are you trying to kill yourself y/n look at the nutrition fACTS” cereal
the “we have an obsessive amount of chocolate-covered almonds. stop it already. i’ll throw this out i’m not even kidding” almonds
the “why did you buy three boxes they’re all the same thing it’s not even delicious anyway” mozzarella sticks
the “this tastes like cardboard i swear why won’t you just get the individual ingredients that i told you to” cake mix
and of course
the “why did you buy tampons already? napkins, also?? it’s not even your period yet” tam-
wait a minute
... h-hold on
did yoongi really just
you must have froze and he must have noticed too because well that’s a surprise you’re nOt huffing with his digs
“you knOW my cycle???”
he doesn’t really know why it’s such a big deal that he shrugs at your pointless question and just continues piling on the cupboards
“yeah, don’t you?”
b-but
wHAT
“i don’t even tell you wHEN i get my period!! why do you know that??”
“you don’t need to tell me, stupid.”
ok rude
but seconds of all hOW does he know
you can’t even talk about yourself to yoongi or even tell him how your day went because he’s just.,.,.
yoongi could sense the internal meltdown in your head and he just chuckles because you’re entirely clueless
or maybe he’s just extremely observant of you without even noticing
there’s a pile of paper bags that the two of you keep because rECYCLING <3
and he always sees atleast one or two disappearing from the pile when you have your period because you’re nOt just gonna discard it to the communal trash can
you’re not a monster!!!
the snacks go by a little more quickly this time
you’re a little mORE demanding but just a little
like when yoongi has the news on when you eat dinner and you’re side-eyeing him
ok he’s already turned the volume down
you still look irritated at him
“.... y’want me to change the channel?”
lol and you have a zit somewhere on your face that yoongi could point out but he chooses not to
instead he just leaves around his box of pimple patches lying somewhere and you dOn’t scold him for that and you know what
maybe you’ll stick some to your face you deserve it ok
it’s affirmative that you’re rEALLY shocked to how yoongi explained all this to you effortlessly
“i bought them because it was a buy one take one deal :((“
that’s all he could hear from you as you mumble under your breath because now you’re just speechless
wow
your roommate cares about you,,,,
MIN YOONGI CARES ABOUT YOU :D
care may be a little bit of a reach from observing but it’s okay you dOn’t care lol they’re probably synonyms anyway
there’s good days!!!
those are probably your happiest days when yoongi initiates a conversation with you that doesn’t involve him intentionally pissing you off
or when you can make him laugh and he looks like the most adorable being EVER you swear
you tried taking pictures of him but he has a radar for it and he immediately holds out his hand to reach out for your phone and effectively cover him
that’s all you have
pictures with yoongi’s hand on focus and him blurred in the background
adjusting to yoongi’s rhythm always varies because well he dOes vary
there’s days when he completely deadpans at you for no apparent reason at all
or when you just need someone to squeal with!!
like that time you got the highest score at an exam that was claimed to be difficult and you were jumping up and down while trying to shake up yoongi
and he looked annoyed for some reason and him not sharing your sentiment,, probably even hating it,, already put a dampener in your mood :((
or that time you went on an angry monologue of why he won’t contribute to doing the chores and how you do everything
from sweeping the floors and doing the dishes and taking out the trash and even cooking!!!
you even fold the clothes and you can’t even remember how yoongi managed to convince you to fold his clothes too
with that he just pursed his lips before putting his attention back to his phone
“no.”
unbeknownst to you though, yoongi does his share of chores more evidently this time around
most times he just does his part when you’re in your room and lately he’s been slacking
ok i’ll help you out i guess ://
sometimes you just want to do nice things for yoongi okay
there’s already a set routine that you follow and adapated to for his sake
you now wake up at four in the morning for hIM and that just depends if he’d wake up within the next thirty minutes
the first actual “friend” unlike roommate intercation you had was yoongi telling you to go knock on his door early in the morning
absolutely dON’T stop knocking until he wakes up and opens the door
sure his four in the morning compared to you staying in is a much much mUch earlier time
but it’s okay because it’s for yoongi! :D
the first time you did that? yoongi raised his voice at you because wHY ARE YOU KNOCKING ON MY DOOR???
“b-but you told me to!!”
“oh. right. thanks.”
lmao he kinda simmered down after that and you took this job to heart
you have now evolved into cooking breakfast BEFORE knocking on his door
you just care for yoongi perhaps
but you won’t delve into elaborating that just yet
today’s breakfast was waffles!!
but they’re special waffles of course!! kinda like a s’mores situation in between the two
little marshmallows that you put in your ice cream and in your drinks and within two seconds they shrivel up into nothingness
crushed biscuits that resemble graham and maybe it would be easier if you just buy graham crackers itself lol
of cOurse some chocolate chips!!
they’re leftovers from when you decided to buy a big bag of them
and yoongi asked you on wHy the hell did you buy these in this huge quantity
“i’ll melt them because i aLSO got those silicone molds on sale!! including the stars and the seashells!!”
“you do know that these are solid... and you’ll melt them into liquid... only for them to be in the same way you bought them in..... just in a different shape....”
“oh my gOd yoongi just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting!! fine then, i’ll split these with jimin instead”
“did you even ask if i wanted them in the first place???”
anyways besides those waffles lol
you also made dalgona :D instead of yoongi’s preferred dark black coffee :D
you tasted his one time and it tasted like death and liver and charcoal all at the same time
this is a GOOD morning okay??
last night you couldn’t sleep that well because you had a thought
a really, intricate, awe-forming thought
there’s such a thing called work husbands, right??
do apartment husbands exist
lol of course if your husband does live in the same apartment as you do
you’re probably making a reach and yoongi doesn’t care about you in the same way that you do for him
but it just makes you think :((
these things that you’re doing, with and for him....
they’re things that you do with your boyfriend ya know
you’re essentially a couple if you think about it further
you’re under the same roof and you do things together and well
the only thing missing is the aCTUAL commitment itself
this was why it’s a good morning
jimin, your friend that’s just down at the end of the hall, managed to convince you to try and hINT atleast that you like yoongi
to be clear
you’ve only known jimin for three weeks and you feel like you’ve done much more progress with him than you ever did with yoongi for five months
it was when he asked you for your notes and you told him that lol you had nONE and the both of you just laughed for like five minutes straight
yoongi still won’t buy that story no matter how much you tell him that it’s true
with his hunch he thinks you’re actually fuck buddies with jimin because you’ve been sneaking off at night right when he closes his door and tHAT’S when you go to jimin’s room
to be also clear
ok yes you might like yoongi
perhaps a whole ton as what you decide because he’s been effectively plaguing your mind and your senses
and the oNLY reason you’ve been going to jimin’s is to talk to him and freak out on what you should do
because you know that yoongi is a sensible person and if u give him even the slightesy whiff of a hint that you like him, he’ll catch on instantly!!!
at the same time it’s like.... so be it....
yeah if yoongi doesn’t return your feelings then you’ll completely understand
things would be awkward for awhile aha
and if yoongi decides to move out because of you? no problem yOU’RE the one who’s gonna move out and let yoongi keep the apartment
jimin’s roommate is leaving soon anyway
see? you’re already equipped for rejection!!!!
aha that’s not necessarily a bad thing but it IS a heartbreaking concept
but here you are
so whipped to the point that you might just cave and put everything in a tray so you could set it on yoongi’s bed
that does seem to be the case because you’re knocking and knocking and he wON’T answer
this is an important day for him anyways because he gets his evaluation today!! and you can’t have him late and hungry and sad now can you
“yOONGI ARE YOU-“
“god, why do you have to be so loud??”
“i told you-“
wait a second
that voice doesn’t belong to yoongi
and the person in front of you, most certainly, isn’t yoongi.
oh that’s nice
she’s wearing yoongi’s shirt from the night before
you don’t recall someone else being in your apartment because after all, you and yoongi are the only roommates
and that yoongi doesn’t even have any visitors
it takes a second for you to connect the dots at hand
it’s okay :)
it’s cool!
this way you’re already heartbroken without prolonging it and bringing it upon yourself
it was bound to happen anyway
yoongi was more than a handsome and skilled and capable man and someone like him wouldn’t stay single for perhaps forever
“o-oh, sorry. uhm help yourself to breakfast, or uhm go back to bed, i guess. if you could just, w-wake up yoongs? i think he has something important at work today, oR well atleast he told me so.”
holy fuck
that was a mess
you’re a mess
there’s no need for confrontation or researching or anything like that because there is absolutely no reason for it lol
you’re a mere roommate to yoongi and you’re just acting like it.
he finds you weird these days
you’re not... bothering him
you’re not trying to linger around or pester him with your usual presence
you only come out when you’re going out for class or for work or for something else he can’t even imagine
which was weird
because yoongi oddly enough misses the white noise you provide
he knocked at your door yesterday and he wasn’t really sure on what to say so he panicked and said “aren’t you supposed to vacuum today?”
which is actually true!!!!
you just got the vacuum and your..,., earphones???
and put them in????
wait shouldn’t this be the time that you try to talk over the vacuum and ineffectively yell as you try to make conversation with him???
this time you’re just silent and probably enjoying the music that’s playing and yoongi couldn’t be anymore confused
he goes to his room when you vacuum but this time he stayed just because he wanted to test the waters ok
he didn’t put his feet up so you could vacuum underneath
he just got one tap on his calf and he wordlessly complies aND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHY HE DID IT SO EASILY
he was supposed to bicker with you :(((
did he... do something??
well he didn’t forget to take the trash out and made sure not to flood the showers this time
fuck it fine that’s IT
he even cooked dinner tonight and he knocked at your door and those are two rare occurrences in the sAME sentence
“y/n, don’t make me regret doing this.”
that’s an empty threat ok he really just wanted to cook for himself and coincidentially made enough for another portion for you
or atleast that’s what he convinces himself
yoongi reaches the end of his wick and he’s about to look for one of your hairpins and pick at your lock
one thing he hasn’t taken into account is that oh,,, your door’s open
there wasn’t really a reaction when your door creaks but there is one but it’s from hIM
because you’re bundled in your comforter and you look different and that’s when he presses his hand to your forehead and you’re tOO HOT
“why didn’t you tell me that you have a fever??”
there’s no room for him to enunciate him being upset because he’s worriedly getting you things to nurse you back to health ok
there’s the wet towels and the water and the medicine!!!
there’s him checking underneath your comforter and you dOn’t have any socks on so he’s getting that alright
yoongi’s third most-prized possession probably is his gravity blanket he spent a pretty penny on and here he is,,, carrying it over to you so you’d be more comfortable — the food he just made you but maybe he should make some soup for you to easily digest
yoongi just felt pure panic seeing you like this ok
you running a fever and being the complete opposite of bubbly but won’t take shit atleAst 5/7 times from him and would argue with him to hell and back
were you starting to get sick the days before so that’s why you were distant??
or was it the other way around
there’s this utmost feeling of concern looming in yoongi’s chest and he even tried clutching at his chest because what iS this
he almost forgot that you’re sleeping and that you barely talked to him at all despite helping you out of his own accord
“you’re here but you’re not yOu!!!”
god he’s just so frustrated because he isn’t used to this and frankly he’ll never be
yoongi’s chewing on his inner cheek and he knits his brows trying to figure wHAT happened, his index finger poking and tracing at your hand that’s laid snugly on your pillow
“you’re already here but why do i keep missing you?”
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dameronology · 4 years
Text
the one with the blind date {obi-wan x reader}
summary: your mother has a knack for setting you up on the worst blind dates. this time, it might be different. 
i know what you’re thinking - ‘but val! jedi aren’t allowed to date!’ but for the sake of this fic, the jedi code can suck a fat one because it’s 3am 5am and i don’t have the brain cells to work around star wars canon 
love u lots and hope you enjoy 
- jazz
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You weren’t entirely sure if your mother’s judgement towards your life choices was supposed to be malicious or not, but it certainly felt like it. The fact she called you to remind you that your cousin just had her third baby! or mention in passing that your friend from school just got married (again)! always felt like it had an ulterior motive. You loved the woman dearly but maker, you wished she would shut the hell up sometimes.
It wasn’t as though you weren’t successful. You had an important job working for the Senate, you’d graduated from the University of Cloud City with honours and you owned an apartment in Coruscant. Did she know how hard it was to get on the property ladder in this city? It was probably one of the selling points she used every time she set you up on a blind date. They were usually with older men, twice divorced and with more baggage than you were ready for.
You weren’t expecting this date to be any different - your mother had mentioned he was a friend of a friend (possibly of a friend, of another friend and then maybe the colleague of that friend). She hadn’t told you what job he had, only that he was a bit older than you and ‘earned enough to support a small family’ - but you had chosen to ignore that last part. She’d arranged for you to meet at a diner downtown in the early evening, and you weren’t expecting too much. 
There were only two people in the diner. One was a man of an alien species who appeared to be roughly 150; he had a pint in one hand and a burger in the other. The other one was undoubtedly a Jedi - and a very attractive one too. He was browsing the menu, brow furrowed slightly as he frowned. He looked up as the bell on the door rang, and your eyes met. If he was your date, your mother had done well for once (though she could have pre-warned you about his occupation).
‘Hey, you must be-’ He offered you a warm smile, standing up from the table to wave you over.
Say something, dumbass you pushed yourself. 
‘- that sure is me!’ You quipped. Great start, you moron. 
‘It’s lovely to meet you.’ The Jedi sat back down as you shuffled into the booth opposite him. ‘I’m Obi-Wan.’
‘Right, yeah - sorry, my mum did tell me your name.’ You replied. 
‘What else did she tell you?’ He quipped, quirking one of his brows. ‘Just so I can try and live up to whatever lively image I’m sure she’s created.’
‘Just your name.’ You laughed. ‘She didn’t mention being a Jedi or anything.’
Obi-Wan paused for a minute. ‘Oh, I’m not a Jedi.’
You froze slightly, quickly trying to think of a response. It hadn’t been a reach - he was wearing robes, and you could see what looked like a lightsaber under the table. Not that you had been looking under the table, or down there - and maker, this was embarrassing.
‘I’m joking.’ He suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. ‘I am a Jedi. I thought it would break the ice but you look like you’re about to cry-’
‘- that was mean!’ You reached across the table to swat at his shoulder. ‘I pride myself on my intuition, Obi-Wan.’ 
‘I wouldn’t call the fact I’m wearing a Jedi robes and carrying a lightsaber intuition, more like the glaringly obvious.’ He leant back, crossing his arms over his chest as he smirked at you.
You liked this guy.
‘But what do you do?’ Obi-Wan continued. ‘Your mother mentioned that you work for the Senate.’
‘I do!’ You replied. ‘I’m a political advisor.’
‘What does that entail?’
‘I just sit there and tell the senators if they’re being just a bit stupid or completely stupid.’ You grinned. 
‘Well, it certainly sounds like a very important job.’ He smiled back.
‘You’re one to talk. You’re like..the keeper of the Force.’ You replied. 
‘That’s not quite it.’ Obi-Wan couldn’t help but laugh at your attempt to describe his job. ‘But you’re close.’
--
Two hours later - and after ordering food that you’d both been too distracted to touch - you were both doubled over in laughter at something Obi-Wan had said. He was funny; you’d figured out that much. It wasn’t in an obvious way, but more of a charming, observant way. He took an interest in you as well - he asked about your job, your hobbies and your time at college. In a way, he felt a bit too good to be true. Every guy your mother set you up with had fallen short within the first five minutes.
What could it be? Was he secretly already married? Was he a convicted criminal on the run and posing as a Jedi? 
‘I have to ask.’ Obi-Wan reached across the table, warm hand falling on top of yours. ‘You have a good job. You own your own apartment and you’re beautiful. Why do you need your mother to find you a date?’
You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. ‘I don’t meet many suitable people in my line of work. They’re either much, much older senators or...actually, that’s it.’
He chuckled slightly, squeezing your hand - you could have sworn that your heart stopped for a moment (either that, or your coffee addiction had finally caught up with you). The fact you’d been too deep in conversation with him to even look at your food said a lot. Before now, no man would ever have been able to come to between you and a burger. 
‘Let’s get out of here.’ Obi-Wan threw a few credits on the table. ‘I know a place that has better food.’
You tossed a few of your own credits, giving him a nod. ‘I’ll have to take your word for it since neither of us actually touched this food.’
‘I’m easily distracted, apparently.’ He joked, offering out his hand to you as you pulled your jacket on.
‘That’s bad for a Jedi.’ You joked, taking it.
‘I correct myself.’ He paused for a moment, shaking his head. ‘I’m easily distracted by you.’
‘Right, I have a tendency to do that.’ You replied. ‘I bet my mother didn’t tell you that I was so breathtaking.’
‘Actually, she told me I had a mission.’ He replied. 
The cold night air hit you as you exited the diner. You could hear the buzz of the city traffic further uptown, filling the silence as you pondered his statement for a moment. Your mother worked as an admin assistant for the Jedi temple - she organised transport and missions and the logistics of most their operations - and she had a tendency to spill embarrassing things about you in conversation.
‘A mission?’ You grimaced. ‘What did she tell you it was?’
‘To investigate that very diner we were just sat in.’ Obi-Wan smiled down at you, face lit up under the lights of a theatre as you walked past. ‘She only told me before I left the temple that it was a blind date.’
‘Maker, that woman.’ You muttered. 
‘I’m not complaining, though.’ He quickly replied. He let go of your hand, moving to fling his arms across your shoulders and pull him closer towards him. ‘I was a bit worried that you were going to be...’
‘...like her?’ You nudged him in the ribs slightly. ‘Because that’s something I worry about too every time I get a bit older.’
‘Oh, you have nothing to worry about.’ Obi-Wan said. ‘You have her nose but I’d say that’s it.’
--
A few more hours passed, and you found yourselves having walked all the way to the other side of the city. You were latched onto his side now, one arm around his waist whilst his rested on your shoulder. The warmth of his body against the cold of the night air was a wonderful contrast and you couldn’t help but smile at how at home you felt. He had a very calming presence (probably something to do with the whole Jedi debacle). 
‘Let’s sit down.’ You wrapped your hand around his wrist, tugging him over to a low-sitting wall. 
You were on the edge of Coruscant, a few miles away from the city centre. The lights of the vast skyline illuminated the road in front of you, the whites and blues and red of the mammoth buildings blurring into a technicolour dream. You sometimes forgot how wonderful the place was, especially when you spent so much time observing corrupt politics and dodgy dealings at your job. That wasn’t on your mind, however - Obi-Wan Kenobi was at the forefront of your thoughts. 
‘You’re cold.’ He commented.
‘I’m always cold.’ You shot back. ‘Isn’t that something you can tell through the Force?’
‘Oh, my dear.’ Obi-Wan chuckled. ‘The Force doesn’t work like that.’
‘So, it’s not like mind-reading and magic tricks?’ You shuffled slightly in your seat, turning so that you were facing him. 
‘I definitely can’t read your mind.’
‘That’s a shame. It would make this whole dating thing much easier.’ You quipped.
‘You could just tell me what you’re thinking.’ He reasoned.
You paused for a moment - you were thinking about kissing him, obviously. There had been several moments through out the night where you almost had, but it hadn’t felt like the right time. But here? Basking under the glow of the city lights, sat so close to him? You’d be damned if there was a better chance than this. 
Obi-Wan met you halfway, your lips brushing against his. Like him, they were soft and warm, and you felt yourself leaning further into him. One of his arms wound around your waist, making an attempt to pull you close, though such a thing were possible. Meanwhile, you had one hand on the back of his neck, softly playing with the hair that fell onto your hand. 
There was a gust of wind, and you suddenly jumped back with surprise. He laughed at your reaction, dropping his head into your shoulder as his body shook against yours. 
‘So,’ you began. ‘Second date?’
‘I don’t think we’re done with this one.’
(Within the year, your mother finally had bragging rights about the fact it was her child getting married this time). 
there’ll probably be a part 2 to this i won’t lie to u i’ve already got it written in my head 
also shout to @karasong​ and @drinksomecoco​ for ur encouragement/ideas ily guys 
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potatowitch · 3 years
Text
finding out that the star wars sequel series was written on the fly rather than actually planned out makes so much fucking sense but also pisses me off EVEN MORE because i watched the force awakens in 2016 and within a day of leaving the cinema had a fully fleshed out idea in my head of the direction the next two films would take and the plot points they would cover, all brainstormed in the shower. 16 year old me was more capable of writing a cohesive storyline than disney was. so here you are - i rewrote the sequels to be ten times better than what disney actually gave us. enjoy.
- after rey finds luke they train for a bit then he's like "gotta tell u something. u ever heard of mara jade? she's ur mum" "wait weren't u two dating for a bit" "yeah" "does that mean ur...." "...yeah"
- "why did u leave me on jakku?" "i didnt. she did. i only just learned u existed i wouldve come for u" "oh."
- "...can i call u dad or" "i would be honored if u did"
- meanwhile at the resistance base leia realises finn is force sensitive, gives him her old lightsaber she had in the comics
- because come on. rewatch the force awakens and tell me that man aint fuckin feeling the "shitloads of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced" when starkiller goes off
- and he picks up a lightsaber and instinctively knows how to use it?
- also: two main heroes in a star wars film being a queer coded woman and a queer coded black man.
- and the whole "used to be a stormtrooper and defected, becomes a jedi" is a TOTALLY NEW storyline? not some tired old "white boy villain is a dick for three movies then suddenly turns Good TM right at the end" trope
- make rey explicitly asexual. she's beautiful and smart and got abs that make everyone who sees them MELT but she is NOT INTERESTED in anything but JUSTICE and PLATONIC HUGS
- finn and poe are also making out because come on, disney, if u wanted to show you're becoming more progressive having a loving interracial gay romance is the fucking easiest way to do it. BB8 has two dads and they share The Jacket
- turns out finn is a kenobi because u cannot tell me obi wan didnt Fuck. jedi code says "dont form attachments" but watch the clone wars - obi wan plays fast and loose w the jedi code at the best of times. now we got a skywalker and a kenobi working together being best buds again, THE WAY IT SHOULD BE.
- the destruction of starkiller has crippled the first order. don't fucking look at me like "the resistance just won a major, VERY VISIBLE victory but OOO no somehow they're still very low on numbers and infrastructure" NO. the public destruction of starkiller has earned the resistance an influx of allies. the republic has started publicly supporting them. the first order spent years building that thing and now not only is all that time, effort and MONEY gone, they lost a shitload of staff and military personnel when it blew up
- "the first order is rich" is a plot point I DO NOT UNDERSTAND because it directly contradicts what's going on in the expanded universe books. the first order was built from remnants of the empire that had been banished to the outer reaches of the galaxy to live out of broken down, shitty old star destroyers.
- it's the reason hux, who was raised in a decrepit old academy in the ass end of the universe by an abusive father, is SO anti republic. in his head, it's the reason he starved as a child. it's the reason his mother is dead. it's the reason he had to be raised by a father that beat him. his hatred for the republic is PERSONAL
- disney learn how to write a good villain challenge? hux EASILY could have been terrifying AND sympathetic
- hux and kylo now have to deal with how absolutely PISSED snoke is that both of them failed with starkiller. hux gets force choked and threatened. kylo gets snoke very painfully rooting around in his head. it is emphasised that snoke's relationship with these two is downright abusive.
- somewhere in there, they realise that the whole five years they've known each other snoke has been deliberately pitting them against each other and sneakily forcing them to undermine each other's authority
- they realise it was snoke's shitty leadership that lead to the destruction of starkiller. they realise that maybe they'd be better off on their own
- the two of them plot to murder snoke themselves. while this is happening, the resistance is happily building an army, gathering resources, and forming alliances. luke and rey have reunited with the resistance and now rey and finn are both happily training with luke.
- snoke dies. hux decides to take the mantle of emperor. kylo LETS HIM because he realises he doesn't know shit about fuck when it comes to leading anything more than his knights. has a crisis of confidence about how useful he actually is, then hux decides he wants to keep the knights of ren around as his personal "fuck up the resistance" squad.
- the two of them working together turn out to be fucking terrifying, competent villains. the films have short, five to ten minute sections where they explore their VERY SIMILAR traumas to make them sympathetic WITHOUT making them seem like "uwu they're not actually bad people" because THEY'RE STILL AWFUL GENOCIDAL MASS MURDERERS
- on the kylo trauma side: it's made obvious in the books that from about age 6 snoke has been in his head deliberately grooming him away from his family. make that obvious in the films. make its impact on kylo obvious in how unsure of himself he actually is. don't make his "redemption arc" one where he suddenly goes light side. give him a bastardisation arc where he realises his whole life he has never made a choice - and then make THE FIRST ORDER his choice. (it is the wrong choice! emphasise that! but make him MAKE THAT CHOICE)
- the resistance thinks they're doing well. they have two new jedi. they've seen very little of the first order outside of small operations that they've been squashing. they think "hm. starkiller's loss must have crippled them. we're doing well!"
- until they learn actually. they've got an emperor now. and the commander of the knights of ren is INCREDIBLY loyal to him. the first order is PISSED OFF and VENGEFUL. they're back with a force. they've started invading and subjugating planets even with their forces cut as thin as they are because hux is a military mastermind and kylo and the knights of ren are a fucking TERRIFYING unit in combat.
- also why did disney decide to present hux in the films as a weak pissbaby when he probably topped his class in all combat situations and fights dirty in close quarters. man can SNIPE. man will bite your fucking finger off if you manage to disarm him. he is a 6 foot beanpole and he will kick your ass
- kylo has a crisis about actually having to kill his mother, uncle and cousin. he still feels a bit bad about han - despite everything, he still loves them and is struggling. he actually confides in his knights about this. we get to see that the knights of ren have a found family dynamic with their commander and they comfort him.
- kylo realises it will be painful to murder the last of his bio family but it must be done, because he's come around to hux's view that the resistance and the republic are standing in the way of true peace in the galaxy. he actually believes that reinstating an empire is the best thing for the galaxy. this makes him a more effective villain because he actually believes what he's doing is right.
- more stormtroopers defect to the resistance. finn is there to welcome them and help them adjust. there's a couple of lowkey force sensitive troopers in there too. we learn more about how horrible, soul crushing and traumatic stormtrooper training is. this is a good way to keep painting the first order as an organisation that violates human rights and the geneva convention at every turn.
- the first order makes up for this loss of troops in picking up recruits from the planets they've taken over in the outer rim because they've been providing stability. again - it is SO EASY to write the first order as sympathetic villains WHO ARE STILL FASCIST ASSHOLES. this would've been such a good opportunity to show the moral argument between stability vs freedom. show the flaws in the republic because they do exist!! we see that throughout the ENTIRE expanded universe! every iteration of the republic fails in some way!
- the fight against the first order becomes increasingly more difficult, but they're actually on pretty even ground. it doesn't make sense to me that disney decided to go for the route of "the resistance should've been squished easily by the might of the first order but uwu kylo can't make up his mind and thats what saves them!" that is not a compelling storyline! they are relatively evenly matched and the resistance only JUST comes out on top!
- kylo kills luke in actual combat, not just "luke randomly dissolves for ... no good reason?". this hits the resistance HARD. rey and finn have to struggle with their desire for revenge. leia realises her son is beyond help. it nearly breaks her. she has a moment where she feels like she has lost everything. poe has to step in to remind her she still has him. it is revealed that he joined the resistance after the first order killed his family HORRIBLY when he was a teenager and he and leia sort of have a mother/son relationship.
- this is also a good way to juxtapose hux and kylo. they took their trauma and it made them awful. poe takes his trauma and it makes him kind. it makes him want to protect people from what he went through. also gets rid of the "haha we made the latino man have a drug dealer background" bullshit that disney did
- poe also has to comfort his boyfriend and best friend and remind them that they are fighting to make the galaxy a better place, NOT for revenge. then they have a discussion about "yeah, don't make revenge your main priority, but the jedi were a bit wrong in saying that you shouldn't enjoy it anyway. it's going to feel good to fucking murder kylo and that's okay". acknowledgement that the old jedi code was garbage and too restrictive for actual PEOPLE to follow it.
- kylo still can't kill leia or chewie. we get flashbacks of her singing to him, braiding his hair, comforting him after nightmares. we see baby ben riding on chewie's shoulders. seeing the conflict between kylo recognising his family loved him and still choosing to be a villain would have RUINED ME. he tells hux this, expecting hux to shoot him for it. hux understands - he had a mother, once. the republic killed her.
- (they actually didn't. she was an imperial slave and was probably left behind when an imperial settlement was being razed. the only reason hux actually survived was because he was his father's only heir. there's a whole spiel in the books about brendol going "this kid is a piece of shit bastard i dont want him" and imperial officials being like "the empire needs kids. go pick him up")
- hux decides to kill leia instead. he nearly dies doing so because woman is STILL a force to be reckoned with even at this age. remember she is actually trained to use a lightsaber AND guns. the only reason hux doesn't die? kylo steps in at the last minute and kills his own mother. he's made his choice. he mourns, and then he steels. there is nothing left to pull him to the light side anymore.
- anakin has given up trying to bring his grandson to the light from beyond the grave. him and obi wan are focusing their force ghost attention on rey and finn. now luke and leia are both there too. we get the same "all my jedi ancestors are rooting for me" moment that disney gave us, except now it's shared between rey and finn.
- the two of them plus chewie cut through the knights of ren until they get to kylo. he kicks the living shit out of them, but they manage to kill him. rey earns some gnarly, sexy scars. chewie needs a hug and goddamn does he get one.
- poe is the one to kill hux. he's not just doing it for the galaxy, he's doing it for leia. the first order already stole his first family from him. he won't lose his second family to them. bonus points if BB8 joins the fight and like ... tases hux in the leg a few times.
- we get some gratuitous "c3p0 and r2 are sneaking through an imperial base and fucking shit up but like, badly because 3p0 never stops talking" scenes
- you want to bring rose tico into it? she's head of the resistance's infiltration team. she's with the droids taking down shields, stabbing people in the back, freeing prisoners, stealing plans, sowing chaos. she's the one who finally takes down phasma.
- without their emperor and the knights of ren, the new empire crumbles pretty quickly. the resistance has taken HEAVY losses but they have won. we get a very beautiful funeral scene for luke and leia. there's a gorgeous group hug between finn, rey, poe, chewie and bb8. poe and finn smooch against the sunset.
- we see finn and rey going into crystal caves to get kyber crystals. poe, chewie, bb8, r2 and 3P0 wait outside the cave in the falcon for them to be done picking up their crystals, then we see finn and rey inside the falcon building their new lightsabers with guidance from a bunch of force ghosts. we get to see that rey has chosen to decorate the inside of the falcon with a bunch of potted plants so she can be surrounded by greenery at all time. the found family aesthetic is STRONG
- rey builds a saber pike. it comes out golden. finn builds a standard single blade saber that comes out white, like ahsoka's. gold to emphasise protection of the weak and the perfect blend of combat and scholarly pursuits. white to emphasise free will from both the jedi and the sith. it is emphasised that these two will NOT be your traditional jedi.
- we see an epilogue where poe is working to help shift the republic's focus from political squabbling to actually protecting its citizens. he leads reconstruction efforts, helps establish more of a presence in the outer rim, constantly fights for moving resources from protecting the republic's assests to providing food, shelter and safety to its citizens.
- finn is constantly by his side. we see him protecting his new husband, on the front lines destroying remnants of the empire and the first order, and using his combat prowess to absolutely murder slave owners.
- rey has taken to training new force sensitives with chewie by her side, however she recognises the jedi code has been failing force sensistives for millennia, and instead her teachings are more aligned with the grey jedi philosophy. she recognises that people feel anger, hate, grief - and that they are all valid emotions. it's what you choose to do with them that is important.
- she actively encourages personal connection, believing that loving your friends and family is righteous and the true path to the light side. her apprentices all adore her, and she is always there for them - she'll listen to their worries, from something as small as "i am 13 years old and my first crush just rejected me" to "i am a former slave coming to you after the first order murdered my family and tortured me. i am having nightmares and am afraid of the anger i feel".
- she encourages apprentices to stay in contact with their family, and she becomes that family for the ones who have lost theirs.
- you get the feeling that this time, peace in the galaxy is actually going to last. anakin, obi wan, luke and leia look on from the Force in pride at their children and grandchildren. they did good. they can finally rest.
- the sequels have made personal choice a major theme. finn chooses to defect. poe and rey choose to be kind, when they have every reason not to be. hux and kylo make the wrong choices. there's no flip flopping like a dead fish between good and evil until the very last second. the lines between kindness and freedom and hatred and subjugation are clearly drawn again and again.
- i sit in the cinema after the screen goes black and i weep. i am satisfied. this was a fitting end for a franchise i have loved for most of my life.
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nyisles · 5 years
Text
Magic In The Hamptons
~ part two, be kind ~ 
Tumblr media
part one
Player: Mathew Barzal 
Words: around 3.3k 
Warnings: language?
Notes: wowowow, part one was so well received that I honestly just pray you folks enjoy. Anywho, she’s here and she’s unedited :-) 
Now it was just a game. How long does one wait to text someone back after they disappear for three weeks? You hadn’t thought much of it after week two. The first week you were a little down on yourself, spent a little too much time wondering what exactly was the problem? It was a constant topic of conversation amongst you, your girlfriends, your work friends, and Reese who all seemed to love to talk about your nonexistent love life. They also didn’t quite understand the magnitude of ‘professional hockey player’ who ghosted, it cut a little deeper than your regular ghosting. You felt like maybe the Islander wags’ advice wasn’t even worth it, you should’ve just gone home with him. Maybe he felt rejected, but you never outwardly said no? Right now you wished you had Grace’s number. An SOS text was what you really needed, and she seemed to really be clued in on Mat. This absolutely sucked, he decided after three weeks you were worth the text and it didn’t give your ego a boost at all. Something that Mat didn’t fail to do when you were together at the wedding. You were a big self love, forget about those who don’t want you kinda girl, but God you couldn’t help but want to text him immediately. Your heart sped up and the butterflies in your stomach kicked into overdrive after you saw the text. It wasn’t even a drunk text. It was a casual 3pm text message, which made it hit a little different.          “Maybe you could wait like...a week?” Reese said laying back on the couch in your studio apartment scrolling through his phone, not paying you any mind. He was great at getting you into this whole mess, taking you to a wedding you weren’t even invited to. Now he was here and unable to give you any sort of boy advice. At this point in your friendship you should’ve known, but you had no one else who understood the scenario. He was one of your best friends. His legs hanging over the armrest dangling along as you paced back and forth of the apartment, fuzzy socks sliding along the hardwood floor. “You know, I think this whole thing is dumb. Just answer the guy. He texted you for a reason.” The pout on your face said otherwise, you didn’t find this dumb at all. This was a serious matter. “I need more female friends. You are no help. Yesterday you called me a 6 with a personality!” You exclaimed, pushing his legs off the side of the couch making room for yourself to sit down. Throwing yourself onto the couch you feel into a slumped position. “I need someone well versed in hockey boy, you just aren’t cutting it.”        Within seconds Reese grabbed your phone off of the coffee table in front of you, unlocking your phone with great ease. It was moments like these where you regretted letting him know all of your passwords. The next moment happened in what felt like slow motion, but as soon as he picked up your phone you knew you were doomed. Reese was always like an older brother figure, someone who could embarrass you in less than a minute. Watching his fingers type away, you attempted to lunge for the phone but it was too late, you never thought he’d follow through with the action, but he did, locking the phone throwing it back at you on the couch. “Six’s with personalities deserve love too.. Or at least a hot hookup.”        (Y/N): three weeks and all you got is ‘hey’?        You shrieked reading over the text message Reese had sent to Mat in your honor. “Why would you do that? Are you stupid? Is your brain the size of a literal pea?” With that you saw the beginning and end of your short little fling. This was not part of the advice you got from Grace or any of the other girls. In no way would you ever text any male this, except for maybe Reese because he was an absolute moron. Best friend sabotage is what this would be considered. “Reese, I’m going to close my eyes and when I open them I want you to be out of this apartment, and you can only come back after you’ve bought me lots and lots of apology fries.” Eyes closed you heard footsteps, then your front door open, and close. All of it almost distracted you from the small ding that came from your phone with the screen lighting up to show one new text message. It’d hadn’t even been five minutes from ‘your’ original text. Your eyes sprung open, and that funny feeling in your stomach returned. Heart pounding, you picked the cell phone up off your lap letting out a deep sigh. Facial recognition unlocked it within seconds, but it wasn’t really fast enough. In your head you could only imagine the rude things Mat would say about how it was kind of him to even send you a text, or maybe the text would spring back at you because he decided to block your number.        Mat Barzal: haha, what r u up to?        Mat Barzal: down to chill?        You tried not to be instantaneous with your answer and play it a little bit cooler than his double text, which honestly brought a huge grin upon your face. Suddenly you felt as if your apartment was getting warmer, was it the flush brought upon by the texts or were you just getting more and more nervous? The idea of having to pick out a cute outfit and getting out of this old ratty hoodie seemed nearly impossible which added a special level of stress. Counting down from 60 very slowly you decided you would be able to answer his text, enough time had gone by to not seem overly interested. Internally rolling your eyes at yourself for thinking waiting a whole minute was some sort of accomplishment, slowly typing a reply.        (Y/N): sure, whats the move?        Mat Barzal: finishing up @ the rink, rly craving ice cream if ur cool with that?        (Y/N): lol cheat diet already? Sounds perf.        Mat Barzal: kk cool, drop me a pin. See u in an hour?        After sending Mat your location you liked his message letting him know that worked for you. You felt like you couldn’t really waste time trying to have a conversation through text when you needed to figure out how you were going to go about an ice cream date without flashbacks to any corny and horrible middle school date you had. Just be cool was all you could tell yourself before rummaging through your closet trying not to be the dramatic girl in movies that would say she had nothing to wear with piles and piles of clothes surrounding her. Settling on a pair of your favorite “ass flattering” jeans and a plain white t-shirt. It was only ice cream, you had to remind yourself. There was no reason to do anything more, but you still added a simple necklace and one of those fancy velvet headbands they sell for way too much money after spending a solid 10 minutes scrolling through Sydney Esiason-Martin’s instagram trying to figure out what looked cool.        It was almost scary how perfectly exact Mat’s timing was. Right after an hour on the dot you heard a buzz come through to your apartment, letting you know you had a visitor. “I’ll be right down.” you voiced over the intercom, grabbing your keys and bag. It was a five floor walk up to your apartment and you didn’t want to put this boy through any more torture after a practice. You tried not to keep him waiting too long, but you also went at a slower than normal pace giving yourself enough time to breathe. It was just a boy you’d already been out with. How could this be so bad, you tried to remind yourself. He was just a silly boy dancing around shirtless at a wedding. He stood in the entryway of the apartment building looking around at the paintings on the walls, they were cheap and not well done but it gave the appearance that maybe people with money lived here. He was in a blue and orange islanders hockey t-shirt and sweats, his hair was slicked back and damp, clearly from a post practice shower. Since the last time you saw him, he was clean shaven, no little stubble that had scratched your cheeks during sneaky kisses. His hair was also freshly cut, you liked it, but you also found the long hair to be endearing. To be honest you were just so nervous and excited that you couldn’t even tell which hair you liked better, and you didn’t have time to contemplate it as he called for you. “(Y/N).” Mat said catching your eye, he stepped closer to you, bringing you in for a warm hello hug. He smelt like mint mixed with the kind of bar soap you get at hotels, yet at the same time he smelled familiar and homey. “So I was on yelp and there’s this homemade ice cream spot in and I thought maybe we could go and hang for a little.” A smirk slid upon your face maybe a little too soon, “Yelp?” you joked with Mat. Rolling his eyes, he stuck out his hand for you. “Well are we going or not, (Y/N)?” disregarding your subtle dig. Placing your hand in his you followed his lead out of the apartment lobby. Have you ever been on a first date where someone wanted to hold your hand? Maybe at the end of the date, but this was the beginning. You just silently prayed your hand wouldn’t get sweaty in the meanwhile.        It was a short drive in Mat’s white cadillac, which you had learned was the butt of many jokes. He let you take the aux cord and play whatever you wanted, which was your current September 2019 playlist. Mat was bopping along to it which gave you little butterflies in your tummy. The way his short hair flopped around and the goofy grin on his face just made your heart melt. This was a boy who in such a quick period of time made you feel like you wanted to be near him 24/7. He had an infectious personality. At one point during the car ride you thought he was singing along to Lizzo, but you didn’t want to call him out. Mat was clearly in his element and so comfortable with you that it all just felt fun and exciting. At a red light, he looked over at you and just smiled. He said nothing, but just moved his hand over to yours. Someone needed to let you know how this boy was driving with one hand, while the other was holding onto your own as his thumb traced back and forth. “Alright, I have two rules for us. First being you need to send me this playlist, and any future playlist you make. Second, don’t let me get anything larger than a medium.” You scrunched up your facing almost saying ‘are you really sure about that’ without any words “And I’m now instituting a third rule… Don’t make that face, it reminds me of my mom.” He said letting out a giant cackle. The one you had originally heard at the wedding. It was so stupid, but you liked hearing it and knowing you were the reason for it. You couldn’t help but laugh along with him. - - -        “So I’m thinking two large sugar cones, one for you and one for me. I want cookies and cream, I’m not sure what you plan on having.” You said bumping your hip into Mat as you both stood overlooking the ice cream counter as the teenage girl behind it patiently waited for the official order. “I know you want it and ugh, look.” You said letting out a moan pointing at the barrel of mint chocolate chip. “It’s calling you.”        “Shut up, ice cream whisperer.” Mat chuckled bumping you right back, “We’ll get two large sugar cones. She’ll get cookies and cream, I’ll take...hm.. Buttered pecan.” The girl behind the counter just nodded and went to work as you turned to look at him letting out a small laugh. “Buttered pecan? Grandpa is that you?” you said turning up the banter with Mat. If there was something he seemed to appreciate, it was the way you were able to joke around with him. He was a hockey player for God’s sake, he loved to be chirped. “Oh for sure, I’m the hottest grandpa you’ve ever seen. Have you seen my ass in these pants?” Mat said taking his hands and lightly giving his tush a squeeze for dramatic effect, before being cut off by the now very embarrassed girl serving you ice cream. She mumbled the price and before you could even open your purse to grab your wallet Mat had already paid for it. “I’d say you’ll get it next time, but you’re a bad influence, I don’t know if there will be a next time for ice cream.” You just smiled taking a lick of ice cream, finding a table in the back corner trying to give you both a little bit of privacy so you both wouldn’t embarrass each other any longer. It was like those few weeks with no conversation between you two weren’t a thing, everything flowed naturally between you two. From conversations about your job, to what you’d rather be doing than working and him training, to what you both were currently binging on netflix. “The office is just so good. I end up crying because I’m laughing so hard just about every episode.” Mat said finishing off his ice cream. “I need to show you this episode, you have to come to my apartment.” And with that you were whisked away to the Barzal apartment. - -        It was surprisingly homey, it was all neutral toned except for bits of a royal blue that would peek out in a throw pillow or picture frame. You couldn’t help but wander the apartment (with Mat trailing), looking at the photos he had hung of his family and friends. “I like this one.” you said pointing to a picture of Mat as a kid, making some sort of silly face with who you presumed was his sister, she was practically his twin, but blonde. “You look the same, haven’t changed a bit. Still as goofy looking.” Mat’s face rolled his eyes once more, rubbing his cheeks with the palms of his hands, then reaching out for your arms holding your wrists gently as his eyes pleaded with you, “Why do you hate me?” he gently shook your arms playfully. A small giggle escaped your lips, “Has your mother ever told you when a girl makes fun of you she likes you?” you said quite boldly, taking a step closer to Mat with his hands still wrapped around your arms. He was so much taller than you, and you hadn’t really noticed until just now when you found yourself looking up at him. His eyes were this piercing green you couldn’t look away from, and you just stood for what felt like forever hoping he would get the hint and kiss you again. It only took him a second before leaning in to place a much gentler kiss than those you shared at the wedding and after party, probably because you were completely sober this time. The soft kisses turned into more passionate ones as he moved the both of you from you standing in the hallway of his apartment to lying on his couch in his living room, him gently on top of you careful not to weigh down his whole body’s weight on yours. Maybe you went on kissing him for ten minutes or hours, you couldn’t tell exactly the time. It was kind of mesmerizing, you were totally lost in this boy, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck that wasn’t as long as you had once noted. His hand slowly tracing up your side, slipping underneath your shirt. God it was only the second date, (Y/N), you tried to tell yourself, but you didn’t pull away, nor did you really try.        “Barz? Mat?” was all you heard bringing you two out of your dazed kisses. Pulling your lips away from him as the two of you sat up trying to look as innocent as possible. You didn’t think he had a roommate, but you weren’t quite sure. He really didn’t get that far, and you thought you knew all of his friends, or at least teammates you’d met at the wedding. It was an unfamiliar voice, but a shorter boy with lighter hair walked into the living room with a stupid grin on his face. It would’ve been cute if he hadn’t interrupted. Completely not even noticing you on the couch, he continued to speak, “You’ll never fucking guess who texted me today asking about you...” With that you saw Mat’s face tightened, the happy smiley Mat had disappeared within seconds and you needed to make a mental note of that. Almost as if Mat knew what the boy was going to say. “Tito…” He said distinctly to the boy now standing in front of you two on the couch, it’s like he had seen you with his peripherals but was far too excited to take note of the other human in the room. You couldn’t help, but look down at yourself trying to fix your t-shirt making sure you didn’t look silly… if the boy was to ever take note of the stranger inside Mat's apartment. “No Mat, for real, she said she wanted things to be different, she was thinking of surprising you here.”        “Tito” Mat now spoke a little bit louder and firmer than before. It was almost as if it brought his friend from the cloud of happiness that drifted on. Honestly you could tell this was a conversation you weren’t supposed to hear, and it made you a little sick. Another girl? Surprising Mat? Nothing about this sounded promising in the slightest. And it really only got worse for your feelings. “Whitney clearly fucking wants you back. You sat around all summer practically crying to me and now what…you fucking get her back!”        “Tito, this is my friend, (Y/N).” Mat said bringing this Tito character out of the clouds and back into Mat’s living room where the three of you were. Tito’s eyes just widened, face getting red. “I-uh, Hello.” He said softly unsure of what more to say.          “Mat, this was fun, but uh… I think I’m going to go now.” You said politely standing up, feeling your stomach take a turn. You didn’t even have a ride home. God, it didn’t even matter, you just wanted to leave. Clearly there was some other girl in the picture and it almost disgusted you to know that Mat could act this way with someone when he was clearly interested in some other girl. You reminded yourself once more, boys are disgusting and not to be trusted.        “(Y/N), let me give you a ride home.”        “No. I’m ok.” You said swiftly showing yourself to the door making sure not to look back at the two boys you had left in the apartment. You honestly weren’t sure how you had gotten to your apartment. It would’ve easily been a twenty minute walk, but you were in such a daze that you sat back on the couch somehow back in your own apartment, surrounded by apology fries from Reese as he tried to coax the story of your date. Maybe you should’ve just seen it coming, it was only the second date and it all felt very silly, you were crushing way too hard. You needed something like this to bring you down to earth.  As your thoughts were flying a mile a minute, a ding came from your phone. Your day ending just how it began, with a text from Mat.        Mat Barzal: hey.
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amuseoffyre · 4 years
Note
happy fic writer friday! id love to know abt ur process, do u write regularly or in fits and starts, how much polishing do u do before u post, etc? xx
In normal circumstances, when my hands are behaving, I write daily. It can happen at any time from when I roll out of bed, to literally ten minutes before I keel over at night. I don’t honestly care what I’m working on as long as I’m siphoning some of the noise out of my brain and into word docs. If I can’t write, there are witnesses who will testify to what an erratic mess I turn into, my poor noggin clogged up with too many thoughts.
When it comes to the practicalities, sometimes I’ll open up something I’ve been working on for a while and just go at it for hours based on an epiphany I had while up for the loo in the middle of the night. Other times, I’ll just have a hankering for some nonsense and bash out a 1k minific. I think my record was 18k in two days :) That hasn’t happened for a while now.
One thing I will say is that I both love and hate how much smarter my hindbrain is than conscious me. I’m the shakespearean-keyboard-smashing-monkey. Sometimes, I’m writing and I have no sodding clue what’s coming next. I’m just thumping the keys and watching the story unfold and suddenly, out of the blue, PLOT TWIST! When I used to live with flatmates, they were frequently disturbed by me yelling “WHAT!?!?!?” at my computer when I surprised myself :D
I am apparently very, very good at creating cunning foreshadowing and set-up and planting McGuffins without having a single frigging clue wtf is going on. And the thing is that I can recognise that they are a McGuffin. I’ve said to various people I babble about my writing to that “I wrote x and I know it’s an important object but I don’t know why”. And then, fifteen chapters later, they get frantic messages of “YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT IT MEANS!” - it’s a very handy skill to have in original writing too (see my 5-book time travel series where there are no less than 20 stable temporal loops :D)
Polishing-wise, it varies. Usually, none or just tweaking as I go, usually with @yukinojou as sounding board. Generally, I just type, don’t even re-read it and post right away. The exception is if it’s something chaptered like A Bit of Crumpet or The One That Got Away, where I have the whole thing written before I start posting. Those ones, I generally meander back through them, occasionally prodding a sentence or two.
But on the whole with fic, I pour the words out of my head into a word document, adding formatting as I go. If you’re lucky, I might remember to run a spell-check and then it’s usually posted within five minutes of me finishing. And that, my friends, is why I posted a fic with a mispelled title, because I didn’t even think to check and didn’t realise until I’d posted the link :D
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barnesxplum-blog · 5 years
Note
Imagine being close friends with Seb for 2 years now, but also in love with him. U don’t think he likes u back, so u decide to get urself drunk to confess to him so that he rejects u in the morn. But thing is, he does like u back and is desperately tryin to get u to understand that despite u being in ur drunk denial. If u can, a lotta fluff would be hella cool, xx!
Sorry this took so long @blueskiesbleakeyes! I love this idea, I hope I did it justice :)
Warnings: None (please let me know if there should be some!!)
not my gif!
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If hell was a place on Earth it would be here, in this bar, right where you were, engulfing you in it’s hot and merciless flames.
Fine. Perhaps that was a tad melodramatic.
You were sat slumped in the bar stool, twirling the umbrella around in your cocktail glass with a forlorn expression plastered on your face.
You almost regretted accepting Sebastian’s last minute invitation to come here, but the look in his eyes almost dragged the word “yes” out of your mouth against your will. 
No one could really say no to Sebastian and not feel terrible for it for at least 3 business days afterwards. Come on. The guy was an unruly puppy confined within in a grown man’s body.
So here you sat, reluctantly watching him smile politely and converse with a group of attractive ladies, all vying for his attention, asking about how he gets into his metal arm and whether he would grow his hair out again. 
“How original.” you thought, surprising yourself at how bitter you sounded.
You rolled your eyes as one particularly pretty girl giggled at Sebastian, (who really wasn’t doing anything funny, in your opinion) and gripped his upper arm, getting a good feel of his toned bicep.
Sickening.
You had even reached the point where you had to mentally repeat in a chant like fashion: 
“He isn’t yours, Y/N. He is not your boyfriend” 
You couldn’t exactly blame her for turning up the charm. Being friends with Sebastian didn’t make you blind to his attractiveness. He was definitely hot, talented, kind, funny and sweet... you knew this and you could see why it would be difficult to resist his charms. What stung the most is that he either refused to accept that he had all of these features, or didn’t believe it at all, forever shrugging off compliments and burying his head in his hands whenever fans or interviewers would flirt with him.
In fact, in recent weeks you’d found yourself in quite the predicament.
You returned your focus to the illuminated display of liquor behind the bar, and asked for a bottle of the strongest stuff they had.
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It all started around a month ago. Sebastian was over at your apartment and the two of you had made some homemade pizzas together, of course, not without a small food fight ensuing, since the two of you had a combined mental age that equated to 12 years.
You were both covered in flour, smearing tomato sauce on each other’s cheeks every five minutes. Each time you did so, you would swear it would be the last time you did it, but betrayed your promise within seconds, just to attack the other with food items again. It was all very juvenile, but at the same time, you wouldn’t have had it any other way. 
His flour-y smile and little yelps every time you attacked him made the sticky feeling that lingered on your face feel a lot less irritating and uncomfortable, and more of a reminder of how much you loved to spend time with him. 
After consuming a substantial amount of pizza and ice cream, Seb decided he was far too full and sleepy to make the journey back to his own home, which was only a 15 minute walk from yours, sounding a lot like someone who was at least 20 years older than he was, which you made sure to tease him about.
“Well, when you get to my age, maybe you’ll be more aware of the importance of conserving one’s energy,” He retorted, half yawning in the middle of his sentence.
Even you were feeling drowsy from the mammoth amount of food you had eaten, so you admitted defeat and drifted off into a joint food coma on your couch.
You awoke early the next morning to see light filtering through the the blinds on your window, warming your skin, and illuminating both of your legs, tangled in the single, patchwork  blanket you used for the night that honestly didn't do much to cover you. Seb was a proud blanket thief. 
The said blanket thief was clutching you to his chest in a tight, but comfortable grip, making small snuffling noises in his sleep, his hair unruly and slowly returning back to its natural curly state, freeing itself from its gelled back prison. 
He looked like an angel, in the golden sunlight with his skin glowing, and his lips parted slightly. You almost wanted to take a picture of him looking like this, but you restrained yourself, not wanting to risk him catching you and having to live down the teasing and embarrassment.
You didn’t know what came over you, but you felt a strong instinct to nuzzle into his chest, taking in his natural scent- faintly of his day-old cologne and rain.
You smiled, basking in this rare moment of affection, wanting to enjoy it before it came to its inevitable end, and you were just friends once again. You felt a pang of sadness, just at the thought.
Looking up slowly, you dared to sneak another glance at him. You jumped, noticing his eyes were already partly open, the blue irises focused intently on you in a sleepy gaze.
The corners of his mouth twitched upwards into a juvenile grin, and his eyes fluttered closed once more, so his long, dark lashes fanned out almost touching his cheeks below.
“Five more minutes, Y/N” he sighed, planting a chaste kiss on your temple, before falling asleep again.
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Back in the present moment, you were seriously drunk, having downed countless shots on an empty stomach. The world was spinning. There were now four identical bartenders all mixing the same drink before you.
You raised your arm, despite this.
One more couldn’t hurt, could it?
You only wanted to forget ever wanting your best friend as anything more than a friend. You felt silly for even thinking that could Sebastian see you as anything other than his little, non-famous platonic sidekick.
Especially when beautiful and talented women were prone to throwing themselves at him at every opportunity. You didn’t stand a chance.
“Y/N, enough,” you heard a soft voice through the mayhem of the bar, as karaoke was starting up. His favourite.
Sebastian gripped your hand in his, softly peeling you off of the bar stool. His eyebrows shot up as they usually do when he’s even mildly surprised, when your knees completely buckled under your own body weight.
He gripped you more firmly so you didn’t fall to the floor. 
“How much did you drink?” 
“Enough to allow me to tell you this,” you hiccuped.
It was now or never. At least your inhibitions we’re out of the way for now, and you wouldn’t even remember this, come morning time.
He furrowed his brow as you took his hand and led him with great difficulty to a more quiet corner of the room.
“Sebastian, I love you.” You blurted, holding his shoulders and staring deeply into his eyes.
He broke out into a chuckle and patted your shoulder.
“Love you too, Y/N” he replied, rolling his eyes. “Now let’s get you home”
As he escorted you outside towards his car, you began to resist him with all of your strength, which when comparing to Sebastian, was not much.
“No! I mean..I mean I love you!”
This made Sebastian finally stop in his tracks, and look sideways at you.
“I mean I’m in love with you. Like holding hands and kissing kinda love. And maybe even having s-“
“Y/N stop,” he whispered, cutting you off.
it was like the blood in your body had run cold, and your heart plummeted from your chest to somewhere in your lower abdomen. He continued to escort you to his parked car behind the bar.
It was almost unbelievable how stupid you felt.
“I knew it!” Tears pricked your eyes, and you felt your cheeks growing hot and red.
“I knew you’d never love me back. Especially when women with big boobs and pretty faces are always smiling at you” 
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Y/N” he persisted, opening his car door for you.
“I do! I just told you- I. Love. You.” 
“No...” he replied, breaking every last piece of hope you had stored in your heart.
He sighed, as you sat in the passenger seat of his car, and he helped fasten your seatbelt while a tear rolled down your cheek.
Everything seemed to be a blur of darkness and engine noises for a while. You could see Seb’s outline, a portrait of stress hunched over the wheel, his hands gripping the leather tightly. You wondered whether his hands would leave visible marks in the material, from how his knuckles had turned white with strain. The last thing you remember was him carrying you into your apartment before it all went completely dark.
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You awoke with a throbbing headache, and fragmented memories of last night and how you even made it to your bed.
Fortunately, or rather, unfortunately for you, you managed to recall, in astounding detail, every minute of you confessing and then getting shut down.
“Fuck!” You sighed loudly, rolling over.
As you did so, you realised you were in your pyjamas. You definitely were not sober enough last night to change into your PJs and stow away your heels so neatly by your bedroom door. You narrowed your eyes in confusion, but also partly due to the migraine coming on.
As if on cue, your door flung open, and a shirtless, wild haired Sebastian burst into your room, his eyes wide.
“What happened? I heard you swear” he said breathlessly, his toned chest rising and falling rapidly.
 You screamed helplessly and jumped out of bed, your duvet still wrapped around your waist
“What are you doing here?” You yelled.
“I stayed on the couch because I didn’t want you to be alone” he explained “you could have choked on your own vomit or something”
You calmed down instantly. Well, at least he wasn’t completely scared off from last nights conversation.
“My clothes,” you mumbled sheepishly, avoiding eye contact.
“You looked uncomfortable in your dress.” He shrugged, seemingly unfazed by having to strip you down and dress you again.
“Here, I’ll get you some water and painkillers,” he motioned for you to follow him into the kitchen/ living room space.
As you gulped down the pills you watched him tidy up your house for a while, before deciding to speak.
“I’m sorry about what I said”
His body visibly tensed, and he turned to you, his eyes unreadable.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
 “I made it weird. You obviously only see me as a friend and I’d like to keep you as one, only if you’d let me of course” you said, though your nerves got the better of you and it all came out as one convoluted sentence.
He regarded you for what felt like an eternity. His blue eyes, scanning over your face. Almost as if he was mapping you and memorising all of your features. What scared you the most is that his lips were still. His usual goofy smile was nowhere to be seen.
A serious Sebastian is one you hadn’t had much experience with within your friendship, and that was something you loved about him. He was always laughing, cheerful and poking fun at somebody or something. But now, he seemed so severe. It scared you.
 You rubbed your thighs with your palms nervously. Thank god the medicine was kicking in, otherwise there would be no way you’d be able to face the pain of the headache coupled with Seb turning you down twice in 24 hours.
“I don’t blame you if you can’t look at me the same, Seb. And I-“ You added.
“You weren’t listening to me last night,” he blurted out of the blue, cutting you off.
He padded towards you in his mismatched socks and stopped until he was mere inches from your face.
“And I wanted to make sure of something, too.” He sighed “It breaks my heart to imagine you think I can’t look at you the same”
You shook your head and placed a reassuring hand on his arm for him to continue. You could have sworn you saw his eyes glisten a bit from tears.
“Y/N...I wanted to make sure you’d remember everything I say to you. I’ve loved being your friend for the past couple of years, don’t get me wrong” he was now wringing his hands, his face flushed and his eyes darting from your face to the floor.
“But I’ve come to realise, it’s not enough. I can’t hold you, and know that you’re not mine. Not completely. It sounds cliche, but I feel empty every time we’re apart. I try to fill the void but, honestly, no one will compare”
“Every time I see you, my heart feels so fucking full.” He continued, now the smile was starting to appear on his face.
“I just want to grab you and never let go, but I felt so selfish. I felt like I was throwing our friendship away, Y/N” 
By now your jaw had completely dropped. You didn’t even care what you looked like at this point with your bedhead, dark circles and chapped lips from dehydration. All you wanted to know is if what you were hearing was correct.
“You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you last night, but I knew you wouldn’t remember it” He whispered, leaning closer to you now. “I want you- us- remember it” He whispered.
In one swift motion, his hand was cradling the back of your head and his eyes were staring down at you, his lips parted. He kissed you deeply, wrapping his other arm around your waist and pulling you impossibly close to his bare chest. You could almost hear his heart beating excitedly beneath his ribcage, threatening to burst out
When he released you, his beautiful, stupid smile was back. He almost looked embarrassed at how much he was grinning.
“Sorry it took this long” he whispered, grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on your knuckles sweetly. 
“I suppose it was worth the wait.” You retorted, shooting him a wry smile.
He cocked his head to the side, taking you in for a while.
“Next time I undress you, you’re gonna be able to recall every second of it,” he winked at you.
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ohshcscenerios · 4 years
Note
hi!!!! i think my request didn't go through:( i sent it a long time ago and didn't wanna ask cause i Fu igured u were busy!! but u said ur askbox was empty so i m sending it again if it's alright!!! i would like to request a one shot where kyoya breaks up with his gf and the awkward and sad middle (cause she's friends with the hosts) and how they get back together!!! thank u ♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️
Oh my goodness I’m so sorry your ask was lost! I’m so glad you asked again! I hope I can make it up to you! I hope you don’t mind but I made the girlfriend Haruhi because I favor writing in third person and having two solid perspectives really helps me write the story freely. I have no idea if this is going to be good because I tried to write this as fast as I could for you! I hope you enjoy this one-shot!
Kyoya absent-mindedly checked the Ootori stock market on his laptop as hosting hours came to a close for the day. Their guests were beginning to pack up their belongings and head towards the door in pairs. Within minutes the last pair of guests left; officially closing the club for the evening.
“Finally.” He sighed, relieved to be rid of the noisy bubble-headed heiresses. He cared for his friends and he cared for their club but he couldn’t care for their guests on the same level. Sometimes Kyoya envied Tamaki for his unique personality that allowed him to love and appreciate everyone at the same standard. It certainly made entertaining the ladies much easier. However Kyoya couldn’t see past their trained smiles and greedy eyes. His guests in particular craved an intellectual, a man who could balance their emotions as well as a checkbook, but his guests weren’t any better than the rest. They still gawked at him with high expectations. They still waited for his smooth words and innocent smirk to swoon them. They didn’t care to know the real Kyoya, only the façade he offered. They didn’t want to know the real Kyoya. There was nothing for them to gain by knowing the real Kyoya.
But she knew the real Kyoya. She fought tooth and nail to peak at the man hiding behind the mask. She had known him… and accepted him… once.
He didn’t want to think about that right now. He never wanted to think about that – her. He ended their dangerous connection, corked the bottle, and stored it away where she would only live in his memories. That’s where she belonged… if only he could fully convince himself that was true.
“Hey Kyoya, we’re going to leave a little early today. My dad wants to go over graduation details and the twins want to pitch their ideas.” Tamaki casually said as he collected his jacket and school satchel. The twins were waiting at the doors, a few steps ahead.
Kyoya only nodded and stood up to collect his things. He really should be leaving as well. He had to meet with his father tonight to further discuss his arrangement.
Tamaki and the twins silently left, leaving Kyoya seemingly alone in the music room. Mori and Hunny didn’t attend club today due to having late university classes so he should be the only one left.
“Kyoya.” Her voice…
.
.
“What are you saying Kyoya.” Haruhi asked; her thin patience evident in her gravel voice. When she agreed to meet Kyoya at his hosting couch after club hours she didn’t expect to have the conversation they were now having. Her only clue to his true intentions was the emotional distance today. He rarely looked her way, rarely spoke to her, and when he dismissed their guests he made sure to turn his back to her.
Now it all became clear. At first she thought he was stressed out because of school work or his father but she had been horribly wrong.
“I apologize Haruhi but this our best choice. We should break up now while our relationship is still young. If we continue it will only hurt worse in the end.” Kyoya gently explained behind his cool composure.
“Exactly, our relationship is still young. How can you end our relationship now? You’ve only gotten your feet wet.” Haruhi felt a pressure growing in her nose as the swell of tears threatened to spill over. She wasn’t necessarily angry with his choice but rather his timing. They had a solid friendship between them but their romantic feelings were still in their infancy. They hadn’t explored their feelings for each other yet. She had so many thoughts and desires she’d eventually need to unpack and she had hoped to do it with Kyoya. Unfortunately it didn’t look like that would happen now. Kyoya was willing to walk away before they delved into each other.
Did he truly find no merit in her? Was there not emotional merit or relational merit? Were they better off as remaining strictly friends? She would probably never know and yet those questions would haunt her for weeks to come.
Kyoya adjusted in glasses which gave off their signature glint, “I apologize for ending this courtship so early but it is for the best we end it now.”
“And why is it best? Why should we break up?” Haruhi argued, hungry for an explanation.
“There is no use for us to continue romantically. Your intelligence doesn’t outweigh your commoner status and unfortunately the Ootori family cannot overlook that. It is best we remain friends and move on.” His voice nearly cracked when he said the word friends and though it was barely a warble Haruhi caught it. Kyoya wasn’t telling her the entire truth. He was lying to her… but why?
“Kyoya, I understand you’re graduating at the end of this month.” Haruhi said wearily, as if skeptical.
Kyoya arched an eyebrow, “Yes I am, as is the rest of my class. What is your point?”
Suddenly, it clicked. There was only one reason why an Ootori son would need to be single before his high school graduation.
“Your father is ordering you to enter an arranged marriage.” The hushed words were spoken in one breath. They sounded like silk but speared Kyoya right through his pride. Without looking her in the eyes he reluctantly nodded.
“You’re going to let your father dictate your happiness?” She was beginning to grow angry now. Not only was Kyoya blindly obeying a greedy dictator but he was willing to throw her – their happiness and affections – away so he could continue to chase his inheritance.
If that was how Kyoya wanted to live his life… then…
“Fine.” Haruhi stood from the couch.
Kyoya reached to grab her wrist but she swiftly pulled it away just as his fingers grazed her.
Haruhi please, don’t do this -.”
“I’m not doing anything Kyoya. Matter of fact, you aren’t either. You’d rather roll onto your back to appease your father than fight for yourself.”
Kyoya stiffened, “That isn’t fair to say. You and I live in very different worlds. You still do not fully understand the obligations I’m expected to fulfill. You wouldn’t survive in my world.”
Haruhi turned to leave, “And yet you wanted to court me.” With her final statement ringing in his ears she took her leave; letting Kyoya drown in his damning thoughts.
.
.
“I didn’t know you were still here.” Kyoya said honestly. He watched her shuffle her feet, uncertain whether to approach him or gather her things and leave him behind. Her hesitation felt nice to him. He liked that she wasn’t sure how to think of him.
She once abhorred him, called him a coward, and couldn’t look him in the eye. It was the lowest he’d ever felt. His father’s insults, his brother’s taunts, and his classmate’s gossip couldn’t compare to her disappointment. She was the only woman to ever understand, accept, and love him… and he threw it all away for his family’s name. It was almost ironic; he fought most of his life to prove himself worthy of recognition and respect and when he finally obtained that… he turned her away. Although his fight was waged against his father he found what he starved for in her; her deep chocolate eyes, her contagious smile, and her genuine words. He had found it all within her as if all of his desires were neatly wrapped up in one person. Yet… he turned her away.
She was right to call him a coward.
He was a coward.
He was too afraid to fight for his own happiness – for them – for her – and in consequence he would spend the rest of his days sharing his bed with a stranger. He threw away his only chance of a happy marriage, a happy family, and a happy life just to fulfill the Ootori’s needs.
What about his needs?
As the third son, his needs weren’t important.
But she made them important.
She made him important.
“Haruhi, may I ask five minutes of your time? I’d like to discuss your debt balance.”
.
.
Haruhi felt a pair of arms snake around her waist from behind which nearly made her drop the tea set she was carrying on a silver tray. The kitchenette was empty, as so was the host club, and she knew exactly whose nose was snuggling into her ear.
“Kyoya, darling, you almost made me drop this expensive tea set. You can’t surprise me like that.” Haruhi sighed.
Kyoya only chuckled and kissed the shell of her ear, “Maybe I wanted you to drop it,”
“And why would you want to me to destroy this collectible set from Loitre?”
“So I can make you pay for it later.” Kyoya trailed his mischievous kisses along her neck and down to her shoulder; smiling at feeling her sudden goosebumps.
“Kyoya please do not be ridiculous. You wouldn’t risk however much these costs just to tease me.” Haruhi scolded with a hint of deviousness which Kyoya firmly noted.
Kyoya loosened his grip around her waist and grabbed her hips; pushing his thumb into her skin right above her bottom. He smiled at her gasp.
“Kyoya… you really shouldn’t-.”
“Shh… Haruhi… No one is here. There’s no need to be so uptight.” He teased.
Haruhi decided to concede and carefully set the tray on the counter. She couldn’t risk dropping the fragile set. Even though she was dating the shadow king and somehow earned his affections she wasn’t above earning another debt. In fact, her current status in his life made her more vulnerable to debt. Kyoya would use anything to keep her tangled in his web.
She spun herself around and draped her arms behind his neck. Kyoya smirked and dove in, taking advantage of her submission. He greedily tasted her luscious lips as he pushed her into the counter.
.
.
“I’d rather not today Kyoya. I told my father I would come home after school.” She responded with a tint of disgust. Her once indifferent demeanor turned cold and it hurt him. It hurt Kyoya to see her erect her own mask before him.
Before they dated she didn’t hide behind anything. Haruhi wore her heart on her sleeve and willingly spoke her mind. It wasn’t her fault that others couldn’t decode her thoughts and emotions… but Kyoya could. He could read her like a book. Page after page he savored all that made Haruhi so delectable and pure. He honored her honesty and rewarded her authenticity with his genuine self. He gave her the real Kyoya in return for her unpolluted love.
He was a fool to give her up.
He was a fool to surrender their beautiful future for his family’s name sake.
Yes, he was a fool.
“Haruhi, I beg you to listen to me.” Kyoya stood from the couch and joined her where she stood, taking her hand in his before she could pull away. “Please give me five minutes of your time.”
“You’re begging me?” Haruhi asked in disbelief. Her questioning eyes exposed her cautious spirit to which Kyoya understood and prepared himself for the rejection. He hurt her too much for forgiveness. He gave her a taste of true love and yanked it away just as quickly.
He suffered alongside her but he couldn’t confide his emotions and thoughts to her. They understood each other’s pain yet they couldn’t even look at each other.
“Alright, you have five minutes.” She said.
.
.
“Kyoya, I need to ask you when the host club is hosting their spring ball. My customers aren’t sure if the dates.” Haruhi asked as she stood behind the entertaining shadow king. His guests were polite to keep quiet while Haruhi spoke though they didn’t appreciate the stolen minutes.
Kyoya cleared his throat, “Haruhi, it’s important for each host to be updated on hosting affairs. I recommend glancing at the calendar after club hours. The spring ball is the third Saturday of March.”
Haruhi nodded, satisfied with the answer, and was about to walk away when a thought struck her odd. She turned back around and asked, “Which calendar Kyoya? I don’t remember ever seeing a calendar in the music room.”
Kyoya adjusted his glasses and spoke again, this time with a little more growl, “The calendar in the second dressing room. It’s in the very back behind the storage shelves… far from wandering eyes…” He glanced at Haruhi, willing her to understand his silent proposition.
A few awkward seconds ticked by before Haruhi realized what Kyoya was exactly saying. She smiled, quickly nodded, and returned to her table looking forward to seeing that calendar.
.
.
“I apologize for hurting you so badly.” Kyoya conceded, daring to stare into her deep chocolate eyes. He saw strong emotions flash across her irises; agitation, confusion… hope. Her eyes quickly disregarded her hint of faith and quickly displayed her anger.
“Why are you opening old wounds? Can you not let sleeping dogs lie?” She was very angry. Almost too angry. The strong emotionally display was a clear disguise for something else. There was something else clawing her throat but she continually swallowed it back. Kyoya developed suspicions but he needed to be certain. He needed to know if she really could be his again.
He needed to know before he gave his life away to another woman.
“I love you Haruhi.”
The words spilled into the room before his mind could comprehend their merit. His unspoken truth – the burden that crushed his confidence day after day, forced him to painful writhe in bed, mocked him for his cowardice – was now floating in the air between them. Whether she would accept them he couldn’t be certain.
“Yet you won’t be with me…” Her voice cracked along with her faux strength and Kyoya watched her cold demeanor crumble around her ankles. Tears threatened to spill from her glossy eyes as she fought the quiver in her lip.
Kyoya couldn’t bear it any longer. This woman – this woman – was supposed to be his and he’d be damned if he made the same mistake again.
“I will. I will be with you.” He croaked out, a little surprised that his magical spell also collapsed.
Their naked emotions exposed their trembling hearts and Kyoya couldn’t stand one more second of it. He stepped forward and grabbed her nape, pulling her to him as he leaned down. Their lips crashed together. It was electric like fireworks bursting free from their cardboard shells. Pleasurable pulses raced throughout his body as he welcomed the familiar taste of her skin.
“Kyoya.” She barely mumbled in their kiss.
He pulled away but held her head firm in place with his two hands, “I love you Haruhi Fujioka and I want to be with you.”
He kissed her again but pulled away just as she began to reciprocate.
“I don’t give a damn what my father wants for me. He doesn’t want to account for my happiness. You are my happiness.”
He placed another peck on her lips before leaning his forehead against hers and whispering, “Marry me Haruhi. Be with me. Be my wife.”
“Your father has already arranged your bride.” Haruhi said, sounding very regretful.
“My father made the arrangements but I didn’t.”
“What about your family Kyoya? What about bringing merit to the Ootori name?”
“I was a fool for having you believe you do not bring merit. Your merit far outweighs any business proposal. You are worth more than any bride my father presents me. I need you. I need you Haruhi. Marry me.”
Haruhi pulled him back and kissed him for all she was worth – for all her love was worth – and Kyoya couldn’t help but smile as he kissed her back. He faintly heard a whispered yes amidst their nips and nibbles, encouraging him to wrap his arms around her slender waist and deepen their affections.
Every boat needed an anchor. Every bird needed its wings. Every turtle needed its shell.
Kyoya needed Haruhi.
.
.
“Haruhi, can you please stay after club hours? I would like to discuss your current debt balance.” Kyoya asked without looking away from his laptop. Haruhi quipped a soft yes before returning to her clean up duties. Hikaru and Kaoru offered to stay behind and help her clean in exchange for coming to her house for an hour after school. Haruhi was dreadfully tired after the chemistry exam that day and accepted their offer, although it pained her to think about the two devils inside her apartment.
Now that Kyoya demanded her attention the twins were forced to take a rain check. Unfortunately that also meant their help was cut short. After she agreed to stay behind they grabbed their bags and left disappointed. Apparently they were only willing to help as long as their reward stood firm.
Haruhi finished packaging the last clean teacup into their cardboard boxes when she heard Kyoya’s laptop click closed. Haruhi thought that weird considering her debt was on his laptop, unless he simply wanted to tell her a number in which he only needed his memory. But why would she need to stay behind for a measly number?
“I’m finished Kyoya.” She announced as she walked over to his hosting couch.
He patted the cushion beside him and adjusted himself to sit slightly diagonally. Haruhi sat down where he indicated and looked at him with bright expectant eyes.
“Haruhi, you and I have been good friends since your first year and I’ve enjoyed our friendship immensely.” Kyoya began confidently. “You and I get along very well. I enjoy talking with you and sharing ideas with you. I also enjoy your companionship. I think you and I would make a good pair, don’t you agree?”
Haruhi blinked a few times before she croaked out a timid yes. Kyoya smiled and interpreted her silence to continue.
“I would like to court you, Haruhi. I’ve already spoke with your father and he gives his blessing. I would very much appreciate the opportunity to formally court you… if you’ll have me.”
Haruhi felt she was choking on her shock. Kyoya’s boldness stripped her of her voice, leaving her utterly speechless. She’s had romantic feelings for Kyoya for a while not but accepted the fact he would forever overlook her due to her social status. He had grown more handsome as time went on, teasing her ever growing feelings for the shadow king. At first she convinced herself to keep it as a harmless crush but time proved her weak. Her feelings grew stronger with each passing day. He slowly became more human; a man with emotions, insecurities, and faults. He slowly let his guard down around her as they developed a deeper friendship. He was soon no longer the heartless shadow king but a strong-willed Ootori trying to balance the world on his shoulders. Haruhi surprised herself when she grew to wanting to help bear his burdens.
To hear those words roll off his tongue made her want to smile. And so she did. She smiled.
Her smile said it all. She didn’t have to say anything. Kyoya knew her long enough to know when she offered a genuine smile it could only mean good news.
So he offered her a smile of his own. 
She hoped this would be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. 
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cohentm · 4 years
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✮     ∷     ╰  𝖚𝖕𝖉𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 .
             I FEEL LIKE i just ran away from home and then realized i’m five and, unfortunately, cannot survive without my parents. LMDFLKDFGM i missed u all and had to return… we hate to see it. anyway! whew. i figured i’d post a refreshed lil intro for cohen to make sure i hit on some key changes before i hop back into the game! the most important / group-related part is right at the top, so if u read nothing else, read that! ily all and i’m excited to jump back in like i never left. i’ll be sliding in dms and makin’ starters asap, so if u wanna make some connection changes my door’s always open! x
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✮     ∷     ╰  𝖈𝖔𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖊𝖌𝖚𝖗𝖆 : 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .
cohen currently lives in a glorified, raggedy frat-esque house ( he is NOT a fratboy but he might as well be huh ) of his own right off campus, about a five minute drive / ten minute walk from the stadium ( it’s about four bedrooms large with three bathrooms, all on one floor. think david dobrik’s house–click here to see–except much uglier and CHEAP MVDFLG ). 
he’s fiscally very protective of his savings. he’s been working since he was 12 with his dad, and never ever spent his money, despite some repetitive near-misses where his parents tried ( and failed, bc cohen’s slick ) to steal money from him. basically he now pays for his share of the house using the money he saves/has always saved working for factories, farms, & fixing people’s junk cars. 
his only current roommate is foster, meaning he has two spare rooms he’s not really doing anything with. beer pong table’s outside, the kitchen is the alcohol hot spot, there’s a pool table instead of a dining room table, u know how it goes. 
regardless, he throws open invite house parties literally every weekend. they take place every friday night up until the sun rises on sunday morning–whether he’s around the house for all of five seconds or all night doesn’t matter, because they’re always a-go. 
you’re all 100% free to use his house entirely at your leisure for character fun / development / a place for ur thread to take place / etc! you don’t even need to get my okay beforehand! just do it! think of it as a known dillon fact that cohen’s having a house party every weekend NFKDFNDFKJG. 
no matter who you are, whether cohen likes you or not, he will not care if you show up with some randos or familiar faces and party it out. he’s socially bored 24/7 and full of apathy and alcohol at all times so mans probably will be plastered drunk out doing donuts in the parking lot and fighting someone he doesn’t have beef with anyway. ur muse probably won’t even see him there. LMKGDFLG if you’ve ever seen burlesque? literally him showing up to his OWN house for a visit / to get plastered and then wander off during the weekend party is…. real. so yeah! use his house like it’s ur own. just be out by sunday afternoon bc he likes to pretend none of it ever happened as soon as he wakes up and has to be sober for school. x KMVFBLFG love u all.
✮     ∷     ╰  𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  &  𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .
tw: eating disorder mentions ( food & lifestyle ), drug addiction / recovery, alcoholism, & mentions of past steroid use.
full name.    cohen anthony segura.
aka.    co, jet.
character inspiration.    adam parrish ( the raven cycle ), vince howard & tim riggins lovechild ( if y’all watched fnl…. let’s cry together ), a much more problematic  &  asshole-ish david dobrik ( the vlog squad ), nathan scott ( oth ), steven hyde ( that ‘70s show ), emily prentiss & aaron hotchner lovechild ( criminal minds ), & noel miller ( tmg ).
age & d.o.b.    twenty-two. birthdate tbd.
zodiac.    virgo sun, aries moon, & aquarius rising.
pronouns.    he / him.
orientation.    openly bisexual.
this has never presented as too large of an issue for cohen, despite living in dillon. he isn’t afraid of being talked about, and has a history of making sure people know he can hold his own if anyone has anything to say about his personal life.
university major.    architecture  &  architectural technology.
after living in a trailer for the duration of his life, the idea that he would be invested in architecture is astounding. however, here he is. his passion for home creation stemmed from growing up and envisioning a real home to live in. his parents are both into self-taught carpentry, and his dad was shoving tools and measuring tape into his hands from the time he was young in an effort to instill in him a firm “get it done yourself” mindset. he spends his time studying structure  &  building planning, and secretly has a journal full of dream house mark-ups.
occupation.    wide receiver for the dillon panthers, full time student, & prospective architect / carpenter post-college.
tattoos.    many riddled throughout his body. brandon arreaga’s tattoos are cohen’s.
face claim.    brandon arreaga.
alignment.    neutral evil.
hogwarts.    slytherin.
positive & negative traits.    ( if u’ve already read this do not read it again i promise u nothing here changed LSMFLD )
hardworking–he works himself to the bone and is entirely unapologetic about it. you’ll rarely catch him slipping, but if he does, he’s the first to get ear-splittingly angry with himself over it. he’s way too hard on himself & he knows it, but he’ll never admit it. 
he nitpicks at the flaws of others in an effort to feel superior, and always acts unaffected when he’s called out for bringing the team down when he’s not taking care of himself ( cue vince howard from fnl or nathan scott from oth scenes where they’re bragging about how good they are on the field even though he’s apt to get himself hurt because of how desperate he is for some kind of validation–cohen had a huge issue with restricting and abusing stimulants / testing steroids throughout high school and college in an attempt to boost his football persona. he was always incredibly fast and beat literal ODDS to maintain his wide receiver position, but especially thanks to his small build he’s used to being underestimated / downplayed, which puts a really heavy weight on his shoulders. today, he’s eating healthily, he’s off drugs, and he’s taking care of himself better than he ever has before, but it’s still incredibly hard and he still reaches out for ways to overcompensate, which is where alcohol usually comes into play ). 
transparent–sure, he can turn into a stressed out & irritable jerk within a fraction of a second, but at least he’s upfront about when he switches lanes. LDFGLMKFG
he’s incredibly focused, which means he’s never going to linger in uncertainty for too long before he admits that he’s just not down to be around you / to be there / to talk / etc. he’s no bullshitter by any means. he’d rather hurt your feelings and keep his environment stable and tactile than stick around and put his easily shaken emotions at risk just to make you comfy. 
he’s also accountable. he knows when he’s causing shit to fuck up & hit the fan, and he’s always quick to right wrongs when things are on him. ofc he’s bred from a family full of blame-givers, so he unhealthily picked up a bad habit of being really good at sounding like he’s apologizing sincerely when he’s really just trying to end a fight because he’s annoyed. LDCLDKMFDFG. 
he’s blunt, temperamental, & incredibly selfish when it comes to his own lifelines / vices, but wholeheartedly selfless when it comes to doing anything to protect or lift up the people he loves.
mental diagnoses.    anorexia nervosa ( in recovery ), alcoholism ( ongoing ), an addiction to various stimulants ( in recovery ), & frequent past attempts at steroid use.
physical diagnoses.    n / a.
phobias.    has an irrational fear of accidentally burning down his house. will get immensely stressed–to the point where he’s absolutely annoying and intolerable to put up with / be around–if someone’s cooking or baking “irresponsibly.” will probably yell at you and hover-cook until you let him take over so he can make sure nothing goes wrong. LMSDFKLFG
scars.   an appendix scar on his lower left side.
drug use.    frequently.
alcohol use.    frequently.
diet.    very decently rounded. he loves to cook, despite being self-taught. growing up the way he did, he settles for making simple dishes very well. he’s not the type to go all out for dinner. he meal preps like it’s his job. he usually just settles with some kind of pan-friend chicken and pasta dish at home.
birth place.    dillon, texas.
parents.    "jude" judith & anthony segura. 
two lower class parents with deep-rooted anger issues. they currently live in the same trailer park together, in separate trailers, and fight with each other constantly. they claim they’re divorced, and are seeing other people, but they’ve never actually filed for anything, since anthony segura thinks it’s just a ploy for judith to take “half [his] shit.” cohen visits them often, and acts as a middle ground child who hates but loves both of them equally. his dad enjoys / tolerates his son’s presence more than his mother does, but only marginally. his mother’s much less concerned with the fact that she has children, since, in her mind, her relationship issues are the most important things in her life. cohen spent many nights as a kid with his drugged up mom in his lap while she cried about not being loved by anyone. his dad, even though he’s rough with cohen, at least spends time with him every now and again. as a kid, his dad was handing him beers to drink and tools to learn to use to prove he was a man ( despite being a ten y/o child bfkjgk oh well! ). regardless, today cohen lives on his own but is still the financial backbone for his parents–since his mom is unemployed and his dad is a seasonal construction worker–and has been since he was fifteen. they ask him for money every chance they get, and cohen never says no.
siblings.    a younger sister ( by two years ). loves her to death. would protect her with his life.
pets.    he’s notorious for letting a certain set of strays run amuck in his house. he feeds the neighborhood cat, is a-okay with people bringing their animals to his parties, etc. but he’s too scared of permanence and obsessed with independence to ever follow through with getting his own animal.
education.    current senior at dillon university. 
he has always been a decent student. he got into architectural honors college his sophomore year of college. however, he’s still not by any means incredibly intelligent. he’s decent grade-wise, but only because he tries really hard and puts in the effort it takes to keep up in a field like architecture. he’s also a chronic cheater, but c’est la vie! lmfgdflkg he spends the vast majority of his time either studying or practicing, and gets very irritable very quick doing either activity because he doesn’t know how to manage stress, so he drinks in the evenings in an attempt to make up for his tense demeanor, but he’s an angry drunk so… whomst are we really kidding here. LMDFKLG
languages.    english & american sign language.
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daturanerium · 4 years
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i’m finally all caught up with @thepenumbrapodcast​ ‘s juno steel stories! here are my discordant thoughts on the story and the characters.
(i did this with the magnus archives season one, too! check it out here.)
SPOILERS FOR JUNO STEEL from s1e1 to s3ep2
general plot stuff:
this show. THIS SHOW. is written so well. the characterization is top-notch. the characters are fleshed out and interesting and engaging and they all grow and change and are affected by people and environments and time and events. they’re not static in the slightest.
i haven’t come across a story that deals with depression and suicidal idealization so well. i’m thoroughly impressed with how the writers both portrayed them and how well they have (so far) portrayed the healing process. wowowow.
THE LGBT REPRESENTATION IS OFF THE CHARTS. QUEERS LISTEN TO THIS SHOW. they have a nonbinary politician?? mlm romance and kiss in the first episode???? main character is nb with he/him pronouns??? SO MANY BADASS SAPPHIC SPY/MAFIA COUPLES.....IT TUGS AT MY HEART. the big strong guy is asexual??? i could go on for days but spoilers! just know that genuinely, you will not be disappointed.
this show has two main focuses/themes: trust and the future. it’s been so fantastic to see how juno and the other characters view both themes and how they changed themselves and/or others while encountering those themes in their everyday life.
ramses o’flaherty and the entire plotline that came with him was absolutely top-notch. it blew me away. ramses is a true complicated character, a grey area that makes you question everything you believe in. the storyline tackles politics, morals, and values while keeping it exciting and entertaining. it’s definitely one of my favorite storylines ever.
the writers are truly incredible. i’m really in awe. they inspire me!  i wish i had the energy right now to give them the praise essay that they deserve but i’m really tired and i want to get this posted. someday!
the worldbuilding is the perfect balance between two extremes that a lot of scifi authors really struggle with. juno explains how a (sort of) functioning mars city works in a way that feels natural and easy to understand, and the world he describes is both familiar and fascinating. although the environment is different, the audience is all too familiar with corruption and capitalism and classism. they keep the world relatable while giving it some really new and funky details (do i want a cat with six eyes and a stinger? of course! do i want to step outside for more than five hours and get radiation poisoning? that’s up for interpretation). they also chose a great route in making this story take place in the aftermath of (what seems to be) a galactic war instead of taking the traditional Save The World, End The War scifi route. it’s refreshing, and again, relatable (especially to me: i was born after 9/11 and have lived through the entirety of the war in afghanistan so the underlining feeling that hyperion city has that Something is Going To Go Wrong....i feel that).
there is so much more i want to say but this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i want to get it posted!
tl;dr: juno steel is really a fantastic work of art. it’s engaging and relatable and teaches valuable lessons about healing, trusting, and moving on in ways i have never seen another piece of media do so successfully. please give it a listen if you have a chance!
some character/character arc thoughts under the cut :)
juno:
god so dumb. just so fucking stupid. i love him.
i’m going to be honest. s1 and the beginning of s2 Juno was really hard for me to listen to. the way he treated others obviously was, to put it lightly, not the best (the monitor incident with rita comes to mind; i really hated that). it almost got repetitive, and since i’m already not a big fan of the depressed-asshole trope i was kind of hanging by a thread by the time ramses came around.
god am i glad i stuck around. his character growth and maturity within the second half of season two and the beginning of season three has been so satisfying! it hasn’t been perfect, but that’s part of the reason why it’s so good--it’s realistic and believable. he’s realized where his faults lie and is making a physical and mental effort to better himself. he’s even doing it verbally, explaining to people he trusts (rita) that he’s trying to be better and then actually acting on it. too often we see the depressed-asshole say the “i’m trying to be better!” line but don’t see any actions following it that signify that effort--that was my fear going into this. but that’s really, truly not the case here, and it’s such a breath of fresh air. plus, in-canon-wise, i’m so happy for juno he’s come so far!
okay nonbinary king i see you
GET THIS LADY A CAT PLEASE.
that moment during the end of s2 when he found that baby rabbit in the sewers.....god.
juno appreciate rita challenge (accepted!)
his voice......is so soothing. except when he yells but he’s better now we’ve established that
i LOVE how as soon as he figures out that he likes you he sticks to you like glue. that’s super funny and cute and also fits him perfectly
miss dahlia rose if you’re out there.....
his complicated relationship with ramses was so fascinating and important. i loved listening to that storyline.
juno: “there’s no way in hell i’m doing this, fuck off” juno, five minutes later: [is doing it]
that’s pretty much the beginning plot of every episode lol ur so valid juno we love u
he’s ability to make the dumbest decisions continues to astound me. he likes to talk about how mick is always getting himself in trouble but god juno you’re really not one to talk
the fact that, in a world that literally runs on tech, he has no idea how a coms works. that’s so fucking funny. if you ignore the backstory that comes behind it.
did juno ever tell alessandra that he made it out of the desert alive or is she just out there in hyperion city somewhere mourning him with her wife?
i already sort of wrote on juno’s backstory but it’s so good. so good.
he’s so fucking soft. he loves so much!!!! and that scares him!!!! but he’s working on it!!!!!
rita:
is she the love of my life or do i just relate heavily to her? who knows
actually no we’re gonna talk about this
rita penumbrapodcast, queen of adhd. queen of oversharing. queen of tangents. queen of love. queen of excitement. queen of caring for her friends more than herself. queen of incredible intelligence shown in an unconventional way. queen of being underappreciated.
s1 and the beginning of s2 really stung me because i’ve been in rita’s positon--used as a punching bag by someone i care deeply about because it’s better me than someone else, because i’m willing to sacrifice my own health and safety for the sake of giving them an outlet. we put it under the guise of “helping”, but we don’t realize until later that it’s really not; we’re just letting them get away with hurting themselves and hurting us. the monitor incident comes to mind again. i actually had to pause and take a step away after hearing juno yell and the glass break--although my abusive friendships thankfully never got violent, that kind of unbridled anger was all too familiar and i was begging out loud for her to leave. she handles it like a champ, and i honestly can’t say whether or not that’s a good or bad thing: good because she knows he doesn’t mean it or bad because she’s used to it? because it’s later revealed that juno’s treated her poorly from the first day they met. i was really worried that their relationship was going to end up being static, “depressed-asshole bullies quirky female sidekick and she never fights back because she loves him” trope. but, thankfully, they’re not!
towards the end of s2 and the beginning of s3 we didn’t just see growth in juno, we saw growth in rita. she confronts juno through a thetabot down in the sewers, calling him out on his self-destructive tendencies and his habit of doing important things without anyone else’s help (in this case, disappearing for weeks without telling her where he was). she points out that maybe the only way for him to appreciate her is for her to do the same thing--disappear for weeks, forcing him to realize just how much he needs her. thankfully, this is after juno’s Big Realization, and he sincerely apologizes for his treatment of her and assures her that he’s trying to be better. (and, side note, but that apology was a good one. a really good one. he verbally acknowledges his many mistakes, including the one rita specifically mentioned, acknowledges that he does not deserve her forgiveness, tells her what he’s trying to do to be better, and then apologizes and asks for her help. that’s good. take notes, people.) later that season, she takes initiative for what seems to be the first time, coming up with a solid, well-thought-out plan, enacting it on her own, and saving both an entire city and her boss. you could probably hear my cheers from wherever you are on earth, because they were there and they were loud! rita saving the day mixed with juno breaking through the mind control with his overwhelming love and appreciation for her.....god. good stuff.
rita buying juno’s office as a surprise for him.......i Will cry
literally she’s just so wonderful i love her so much
every time she talks i’m like [one billion heart emojis mixed with like forty crying emojis]
RITA SPINOFF WHEN. i come from the critical role community so yall know for a fact i’ll back it on kickstarter
once her and juno’s relationship reaches a healthy balance (and they’re already well on their way which i’m so happy about!) they’re going to be so good together. so powerful. the Ultimate cheery vs broody relationship (although juno is less broody at this point and more....gentle asshole. we love growth). they were unstoppable before, but now? god help the galaxy lol
the fact that rita can just casually hack into literally any system in the galaxy is so.......impressive? hot? yeah.
please get this woman a girlfriend and a cat
rita x franny xoxo
RITA BACKSTORY WHEN. PLEASE KEVIN AND SOPHIE PLEASE AS A RITA STAN I AM POLITELY BEGGING YOU.
rita is now in space, which is an interesting development. i just.....”rita in space” is not something i would have ever guessed at a week ago
wait oh my god.
i was sitting here thinking rita has some sort of trust fund/is secretly rich and that’s how she bought juno’s office and kept it afloat, but with the most recent episode’s developments it’s probably equally if not more likely that she either hacked into the nearest bank to give herself the creds needed or hacked the person she was buying it from to make it seem like she had made the payments. i literally adore her whoops
the little rita episodes make me so happy and i hope we get more of them!
tldr: i love her and she deserves the world and more, i’m glad her relationship with juno has changed into something a lot healthier with juno’s Realization mid-season-two, i hope she realizes the hero she already is in season three
peter:
.........oh how the turntables.
peter, season one: juno come with me so we can be together forever and travel the galaxy! i think i love you! juno: aw babe i wish i could but i’m sad and the city needs me :( peter, season three, when handed the opportunity to travel with a healing juno through the galaxy on a silver platter: actually fuck this lol i have One Job and it is to Only Think About My Current Assignment. this is smart and healthy.
this man.....this man right here officer. stole my fucking heart.
i don’t really have an essay for him because we haven’t seen enough of him to really gauge his character development beyond an obsession with debts and his aging. i’m guessing that will change this season though
the debts....what are they
can rita hack in and pay them off
god wouldn’t that be so funny. he spends his entire life trying to pay off these impossible debts and it’s stressing him out to the point where he feels he can’t focus on anything else. and one day he comes to the fam and explains everything and rita’s like “oh shit that’s easy i’ll take care of that right now!!! why didn’t you say something sooner” and hes like “what” and she’s like “yeah!” and he’s like “holy shit” and then he gets married to juno and they live happily ever after the end.
no but real talk
these debts. there’s a lot about them and the way he talks about them that really worries me. i feel like having them be simple money debt would be too easy, so maybe it’s something medical? that would explain both his obsession with his aging and his uncharacteristically excited reaction to the healing mother prime (i think that’s what it was whoops).
he also mentioned someone else before juno, someone that had some pretty strong romantic undertones. maybe they’re sick? but peter doesn’t seem like the type to throw away a relationship like that so quickly, so it doesn’t really match up that he would have someone sick and waiting for him but he’d still go after juno in season one. hmmm.
this one’s a real mystery lads. you think you have something figured out about peter nureyev but it just gives you more questions.
peter is the one mystery juno can’t solve. god, that’s good.
his voice is so good. i don’t remember who his voice actor is but they’re doing a fantastic job thank you!!!!
i actually don’t picture peter like how he’s portrayed in the official art and fanart? i wish i was an artist so i could draw him the way i see him but alas. (i still really like his official design tho!)
listen. you give me a mysterious thief that doesn’t exist and i am Forced to love him. i have a type.
thankfully peter seemed to come around during the most recent episode (s3e2 the man in glass) so i don’t think we’re going to get a repeat of season one. these debts, whatever they are, are definitely going to cause problems. i can’t wait to see what the writers do with this.
(my only fear is that it will end up fitting the “gay character has a sickness parallel to aids and it is incurable” trope. although the writers have so far done a fantastic job of writing queer characters and worlds as well as turning tropes on their heads, so even if it may seem like that’s the case in the beginning, i’ll most likely stick through it to see where they take it. i trust them).
peter i know you’ve never had a family in your life but. im gonna tell you a secret here. found family is cool and good and you’ll like it if you give it a chance.
i love him and as soon as i cut my hair short i’m gonna cosplay him. fashion king
peter nureyev makes me want to fall in love
watching (listening) to juno grow and mature was already fantastic, but to see it through the eyes of someone who respects him, cares for him, and loves him deeply? good lord.
the way peter talks about juno.....yeah.
and peter as an individual....WOW. master thief, yes wow impressive! but his growth is already focusing so much on trust and it’s been written so well. i can’t wait to see how much he continues to grow and learn to trust this season!!!
i would love to see him continue to narrate s3. i think it’s a really strong change of pace and it also puts some extra emphasis on juno’s growth while focusing on peter’s motivations and inner thoughts. i’m genuinely fine either way tho!
tl;dr: i love u emo boy i love u i love u
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zepdeans · 5 years
Text
there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)
ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic
ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!
ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 
ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good
ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))
ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)
ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly
ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3
ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛
final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life
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super-cerulean · 5 years
Text
Two Way Street
Part One/ Part Two
Just as a quick note, thank you for so many positive responses to this story as well as my other ones. Seeing so many nice comments always makes my day brighter. <3
Request:  Hi sweetheart, can I request a #10 & #13 from Jason Todd prompt challenge? Sorry to bother u. I love ur blog (The prompts were Jason being Jealous of the reader and Dick and the reader being jealous of Jason and Kori)
Warnings: Language
It took forever for you to figure out what had happened during the fight. Neither of them would talk to you about it for the longest time. In fact, Jason pretty much stopped talking to you In general. If it wasn’t absolutely necessary to see or talk to you, he didn’t do it. How someone who lived in the same space as you found a way to disappear 90% of the time was beyond you. You weren’t sure what it was, but whatever they had been fighting about, was apparently weighing down on both of their attitudes.
After they’d come out of the room and Jason had left with Kori, Dick was gone just as quickly. Within the span of a few minutes, you and Roy were the only two left in the apartment and there was a huge feeling of tension left in their wake. Later on, you tried asking Jason what happened, but that was when he started distancing himself and sometimes completely ignoring you. Not only that, but in all the time it took for someone to finally tell you what happened, you were stuck watching the effects of the argument spread into your own life.
In retaliation to whatever Dick had said, Jason was now “dating” Kori. You weren’t sure if it was real or not, but in all honesty it still got to you either way. Jason was your friend-probably your closest-, but it hadn’t always been that way. There was a time not that long ago where you had even larger feelings for him. It was long overdue, but it still hit you like a truck out of nowhere. You could still remember the exact moment when you realized your own feelings. Jason hadn’t even done anything really besides taking you out to celebrate one of your first deep space missions. Out of nowhere, you caught yourself looking at his teasing smile after making a joke and realizing that the warm feeling in your heart extended far past friendship. By then you were already too deep into your feelings to curb them. Obviously, that didn’t work out in the way you wanted, as you ended up roommates of the most platonic kind. You thought you were over that and done feeling that way about him, but now you weren’t so sure.
It wasn’t that you disliked Koriand’r or anything. Despite everything, you still enjoyed her company and liked her as a person in general. What brought the sickness to your heart was seeing them together. Especially since Jason wouldn’t talk to you. It felt like you’d been severed and he put Kori in the place you could never be. It hurt way more than you would ever admit. Of course, you didn’t say anything. Instead, opting to appear as blissfully ignorant as possible while you drowned in your feelings. This went on for days before you finally tracked Dick down and forced him to tell you everything that happened.
Dick sat beside you on a bench in BludHaven. Everything had reached a boiling point in your mind, so you tracked him down and caught him while he was leaving his day job at the police department. Even though you were in civilian clothes, you made sure to let him know that if he tried to run you had your power ring within reach. Thanks to that, he finally gave in and told you what happened.
“He totally called me out,” Dick explained. “He said he knew I was only talking to you because I wanted to piss off Kori and that I needed to end it.”
“So did you tell him the truth?”
“No, I told him he was being ridiculous and that he needed to mind his own business.”
“Dick!” He flinched at your voice, lolling his head onto the back of the bench.
“I know! I should have just told him the truth then and been done with it,” he defended. “But I was caught off guard. He was coming at me out of nowhere and I got defensive and we fought about it. That’s when he tried to call my bluff and said that he’d go ask Kori out if I wasn’t faking it.”
“And that’s when both of you stormed out of the room.” Dick nodded, tilting his head to look at you. You gave him a serious look, shaking your head before speaking again.
“You know you’re going to have to come clean and dig all of us out this mess, right?”
“You mean we?” You blinked, expression unchanging as you stared at him.
“Um, no. I mean you. I’m not the one trying to make Kori jealous so I feel ‘appreciated’.” Dick rolled his eyes and sat up again, turning so that he was facing you more directly with one leg resting on the bench. He hadn’t had a chance to change out of his uniform yet, so it felt kind of strange sassing a police officer in the middle of a park. Still, you weren’t letting him drag you in any further.
“Maybe not, but you’re the one making Jason jealous, so you’re just as guilty as I am.”
“Bullshit If Jason’s jealous, it’s not because of me. This was all your big idea.” You scoffed, actually processing what he had said after you responded. “Besides, he won’t even talk to me. If anything he’s mad I’ve been talking to his brother behind his back and once again, that’s on you.”
“It was my idea, but you agreed to it!”
“Dick, you’re five seconds away from getting lantern launched across this park, secret identities be damned. This is your mess and you’re gonna be the one to fix it.”
“I don’t want to do it alone! They’re both going to be mad at me for it,” he whined, tilting his head and looking at you with hopeless eyes.
“That sounds like something I warned you about before you started this shit.”
“You warned me about Kori, not Jason. If I’d known he was this into you I would have asked someone else. You should have told me!” You scoffed again, kicking your foot idly in the dirt beneath you.
“Oh please, Jason’s not into me.”
“I beg to differ,” Dick responded, suddenly becoming more animated and dramatic. “He almost ripped my head off twice because he thinks I’m trying to get at you. Just because you don’t see it and he won’t admit it doesn’t mean it’s not true.” Deciding you’d heard enough, you stood suddenly.  
“Okay, this conversation is over. You’re fixing this and we’re all going to be done with all this unnecessary drama.  Got it?”
“Fine, but this conversation isn’t over. Jason has a big fat crush on you and I’ll prove it to you if I have to!” You threw up your favorite finger over your shoulder as you walked out of the park. The last thing you wanted to be hearing was that Dick thought Jason was interested in you. That road led to nothing but disappointment. Hopefully Dick would just take your advice and talk it out with his brother. Of course, that would have been too easy.
“Why do you even care?!?! It’s not like I’m trying to steal your girlfriend!” You sat, head in your hands on the roof top of your apartment next to Kori as Jason and Dick went at it a few feet away. Why were you all on the roof? Because you were already one noise complaint away from getting kicked out of your building so you thought ahead and had everyone meet up there to discuss the situation. Thank god you had such wonderful forethought because now it had turned into a screaming match between the Wayne brothers.
At first you and Kori were trying to keep the peace and solve the problem, but somewhere along the line it turned into Dick goading Jason and the latter lashing out in response. You knew damn well he was trying to get Jason to admit he had feelings for you and at this point you didn’t care anymore. You’d even gone as far as to pull Kori aside and tell her the truth on your own while the others bickered. In response to your own confession, she also told you that she wasn’t really Jason either, which lifted what felt like eighty pounds of weight off of your chest. Whatever Dick was doing, wasn’t a part of the plan and you were just going to let him go off on his own until they tired each other out. Kori was at least was still paying attention to the argument and what they were saying while you dropped that shit ages ago.
“You and I both know why you’re really doing this and it’s disrespectful to both of them. Could you just act your age for once?!” Jason’s voice was almost a full on shout as he glared at Dick, who responded with just as much anger.
“Me? That’s rich coming from you. Why don’t you admit why you’re really mad and we’ll talk about this like adults.”
“You’re so fucking irritating. We’re not getting anywhere with this back and forth.”
“No! We aren’t!” You finally spoke up, raising your head from your hands. “Can you two just talk this out so we can all be done with it? This whole thing went further than it should have and now everyone’s angry and fighting over something stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. We’re fighting because Dick needs to stop dragging other people into his problems,” Jason responded, finally looking at you. It felt like it had been ages since he talked to you and of course it had to be when they were fighting.
“Okay, I understand that and I’ll talk with Y/N about it on my own. I don’t need my little brother butting into my relationships and telling me what to do.” Jason turned back to Dick again, shoving his hair out of his face as a gust of wind blew through the four of you. Despite the current situation, you felt your gaze linger on him for a bit longer than it probably should have. Even when he was in the middle of a huge argument, he still found a way to look breathtaking.
“I wouldn’t be butting in if you hadn’t decided to start dating one of my friends to make your ex jealous. You can’t just play around with people’s feelings like that!” You groaned, finally standing up and moving to stand between them.
“He wasn’t playing with my feelings, Jason. He came to me and told me from the beginning that he wanted my help to make Kori jealous. I should have said no, but I agreed to help him out, so that’s on me. I already apologized to her about it so there’s no need for everyone to keep screaming at each other. The only people who need to talking all this out are Dick and Kori.” Jason looked at you with a surprised expression and before he could get a word out, Dick was speaking again in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Exactly, and if you gave me the chance to explain myself before you started accusing me of being an asshole, I would have told you. I can’t believe you actually think I’d play around with Y/N’s feelings like that. I’m not that stupid.”
“Close, but not quite that dumb,” Kori said, joining the three of you finally.
“How was I supposed to know that?” Jason defended, still not completely over his own frustration.
“I don’t know, maybe if you asked me like a regular person instead of getting jealous and jumping down my throat the first chance you got!” And of course, Dick couldn’t have just dropped the subject now that everyone had calmed down. For a brief second you thought they just might be done fighting, but that would have been good luck.
“Oh here we go again,” you sighed, running a hand down the side of your face. Jason’s face flushed and he looked at Dick with wide eyes, glancing at you for a split second.
“I-I didn’t get jealous!”
“Oh please, Y/N said you’ve been stomping around in a hissy fit all week and you’ve been attacking me about it since you found out. You were pissed before you even knew we weren’t really dating.”
“That’s because I don’t want you fooling around with my friends!”
“This whole thing started because I was already in relationship drama with one of your friends, so that’s bullshit. You never cared that I was dating Kori; you only got defensive when it was Y/N.” Jason was about to produce another defensive response, but you cut him off.
“Why are you turning this on me now?! Can’t you two just fucking bro hug so I can go to sleep or something,” you interjected, glaring at Dick. You were getting sick of him trying to force the idea that Jason had a thing for you. You’d been living together and had been friends long enough that if he was going to make a move he would have done so already. Now Dick was just pushing him and the only thing that was going to come out of it would be Jason telling everyone why he saw you as a friend and nothing more. As much as you wanted to believe you were over it, that wasn’t true and you didn’t want to go through all of the grief and rejection again, especially now that you had to see him every day. He may have had the whole avoiding thing down, but you certainly didn’t.
“You can’t seriously be this blind. The only reason everything blew out of proportions was because Jason got so defensive over you. Anyone can see that he-“
“Listen, I’m glad we all aired this out, but I don’t feel like getting into this right now. Jason already said he wasn’t jealous, so just drop it.” You could feel their eyes on you after you suddenly cut off Dick’s statement and it only irritated your nerves further. “Fuck it, I’m so over this.” You yanked your power ring off of the chain around your neck and slipped it onto your finger. You were quick to suit up in a flash of green and walk away from the whole debacle, slipping into flight as you neared the edge of the roof.
Dick had been calling out to you before you left, but you ignored him. You flew high over Gotham and went as far away from the scene as you could. Despite how much you told yourself you were over everything, the feelings were cropping up all over again and you couldn’t stand staying there for another second. So instead you flew away and didn’t stop until you felt a hand on your ankle. Jerking your head around and coming to a stop, you were surprised to see that Kori had followed you into the night sky.
“What happened back there?” You huffed out a sigh at her question, relaxing into a less defensive position while Kori came to fly nearer to you.
“Nothing, I was just annoyed. He’s been talking about that shit for days now,” you responded, looking at the city below instead of meeting her eyes.
“It didn’t seem like that was it. You looked really upset when he brought it up.”
“I mean, yeah…” You paused, weighing whether you wanted to go into detail about the whole thing or not. This was something you’d never spoken a word about to anyone. There was a friendship between the two of you, but you weren’t sure if it was close enough to be sharing things like that. In all fairness, though, you already knew way too much of her business thanks to Dick. It seemed fair that she know some of yours in return.  “It’s just a sore subject for me. In the past, I really did like Jason as more than a friend and I guess I’m not as over it as I thought.  It was one thing to figure out that he didn’t feel the same on my own, but hearing him say it is another thing entirely. I don’t know why Dick is so hell bent on getting him to say something.”
“How can you be so sure that he doesn’t feel the same? Dick probably knows him better than most and he seems to think so.”
“Yeah, well his idea of romance is trying to make his girlfriend appreciate him by making her jealous so I don’t think he’s the best source of facts.”
“Okay maybe not,” she laughed. “But I spend a lot of time with him too. He’s different around you and the way he talks about you doesn’t feel entirely platonic to me. I think you should give him a chance to give you a final answer. If Dick was wrong, then at least you’ll know. That’s better than wondering, right?”
“That’s debatable.” Still, despite your apprehension, you knew she was right. It was a thought that had crossed your mind a few times, but one that you had refused to humor. Now that someone else was telling you, it really felt like the more logical response. “I’ll talk to him when I get back.”
“Good luck. I’ll make sure to talk to my boy wonder when I get back too. He needs it more than anyone.”
“Yeah, good luck to you too,” you laughed. “He’s a handful.”
When you and Kori got back to your apartment building, she and Dick left without much more discussion. Jason had already gone back inside, so you waved them off before beginning the dreaded descent down the stairs and to your apartment. The door was still unlocked, so at least you knew he wasn’t still acting like you didn’t exist. Still, your entire being was in a panic as you opened the front door. Starfire’s suggestion had propelled you into action, but now the actual nerves were setting in. The urge to just turn back around and run was almost enough to overwhelm your resolve. Almost, but not quite.
The kitchen and living room were empty so the next logical place for him to be was his room. The delay was only adding to your internal panic so much so that you had to pause outside his door to take a breath and shake out your clammy hands. After a that moment to regain some nerve, you pushed open his door and peeked into his room.
Jason was lying on his bed, previously looking at his phone before you’d come in. He was lying sideways so he had to tilt his head to look at you as you entered. He let the hand holding his phone sink down beside him and he shifted into an upright position.
“You okay?” You nodded, biting your lip as you walked all the way into your room. For some reason, your hand creaked his door closed behind you as if you needed some kind of privacy in an otherwise empty apartment. Once you realized what you’d done, you cringed a bit. Now you were trapped and so was he with the uncomfortable tension in the air.
“I…wanted to clear everything up,” you said finally, trailing off as you looked at him. Jason nodded, watching you come to sit beside him on the edge of his bed. You sat far enough away that you weren’t touching him, but close enough that you didn’t have to look directly at him. It was somewhat cowardly, but you had to do something to give your poor heart a break. Everything combined was pushing you towards cardiac arrest.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about earlier…and I guess for before that too. I’ve been pretty rude to you for the past few days and that wasn’t really warranted.”
“It’s alright,” you said, halfway thinking. Your mind was still on trying to get this confession out of your head, but you caught on to your own words. “I mean, it’s not alright because that was irritating as fuck to deal with every day, but I forgive you.” You heard him chuckle beside you and felt your own smile coming onto your face.
“And I forgive you for pretending to date my brother,” he retorted, causing you to groan, tilting your head to the side in mock anguish.
“Thanks for giving me a shortcut out of that apology.”
“You have to admit, it was a terrible idea,” Jason laughed.
“Yeah, I knew that. I just thought Dick would be the only one getting fucked over.”
“Oh so it was okay as long as it wasn’t you?”
“Exactly,” you both fell into the easy dynamic that you usually had. It was as natural as breathing sometimes and knowing this made you even more nervous to speak your mind. All of that could be ruined forever if you did. Pining after him in silence wasn’t a good option either, though.
“So, um. About what Dick said earlier...He kind of put us on the spot in front of everyone so I kind of panicked and ran,” you explained. Jason listened quietly, nodding his head and you could feel his gaze on you. With a quick glance, your eyes met his before you sighed and leaned back on your hands.
“That’s fair enough, if I could fly I’d have done the same thing.”
“Yeah, but it was different for me. I just…fuck this is hard to say.” You paused, looking up at Jason’s ceiling for a moment before regaining your nerve and finally looking into his eyes. “I left because what he was saying was too real for me. I didn’t want to hear you say you didn’t feel that way about me or that we’re just friends because I don’t want it to be true. I just…I really like you as more than a friend and I wasn’t ready to completely accept it was just me. But, I talked to Kori about it and realized that I need to deal with this instead of pushing it into the back of my mind, so here I am.”
Jason looked at you with a surprised expression, completely frozen. You sat in silence for a small moment before you found yourself rambling to fill the uncomfortable silence. “And, I’m not telling you this to pressure you into anything. You don’t have to say you feel the same or anything, I just wanted to let you know what was really going on, I guess.” You bit your lip, feeling the nervousness captivating you again as you looked away again.
“I-I should probably give you a minute to process all that, right. I’ll just…” Your voice trailed off and your mouth shut suddenly. Jason’s expression had softened and he was suddenly a lot closer to you than he had been a minute ago. You watched him, heart in a panic as the distance between the two of you closed.
“Can I speak now?” he whispered and you closed your eyes, mentally kicking yourself as you nodded. “Thanks.” He moved back into his own space, but held your eye contact.
“It wasn’t as different for you as you think. I freaked out and panicked when Dick brought it up like that too. The first thing I thought to do was deny what he was saying even though that wasn’t necessarily true.” His hand ghosted over yours and you responded by turning it over to him. He slipped his hand into your, smiling lightly at your response before his eyes returned to yours. “When I heard you and Dick were talking, I was pissed. I didn’t realize it until he brought it up that night we fought for the first time, but I really was jealous. I knew I felt different about you, but I wasn’t really sure what it was until now. I honestly felt awful not talking to you, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
His words were like sunshine breaking through the clouds after a week of rain. After feeling so stressed out and worried, you felt a lightness overtake your entire being. If you hadn’t had your ring dangling against your chest, you might have thought you were flying. A smile crept along your face at Jason’s confession and you couldn’t help your sigh of relief. A thought crossed your mind and you laughed lightly before speaking.
“So, long story short, we’re both complete idiots about this relationship stuff…” Jason laughed and nodded, using your hand to pull you into an embrace. He wrapped the hand entwined with yours around your shoulder, crossing your own arm over your chest. Your free hand pressed against his side and your head rested perfectly against his chest.
“Basically,” was all he said. You paused; savoring the moment before you finally said something else.
“And we’re definitely not admitting that Dick was right?”
“Not in this lifetime.”
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