#uselessbard1031

[uselessbard1031]

Hazbin Hotel Oneshot

Howdy. YES I AM FINISHING BURNOUT I PROMISE.

However...

I wrote this last night after discovering that Carmilla Carmine had ZERO lesbian X reader fics. I must fill the void in my life because holy FUCK this woman could murder me and I'd thank her.

Side Note: I may also be like ten chapters into a BG3 Mizora X OC fic...

I promise I will return to Linny soon <3

#fanfiction #ao3 #fanfic #writer #uselessbard1031 #writing #hazbin hotel #hazbin carmilla #carmilla carmine #viziepop #lesbian #x reader #oneshot #one shot #ao3 fanfic

[zafirosreverie]

I dont remember who asked, but i saw someone asking for recs on lin x reader fics.

Im a big fan of uselessbard1031,

Lovely and angsty fancfiction, mostly long form, slow-burn-y series

Theyre so good 10/10 woyld recommend.

They do have a tumblr but post their writing on ao3.

Cherrychonk is also a really good writer when it comes to lin (also ao3)

“Actual writing trashcan” (ao3) has a series of oneshots, but theyre mostly 18+

Anyway, just wanted to share my love for lin.

-Ara

(P.S. im okay, just lurking in the corners while life is lifing)

Thanks hon! Hope you soon joing life in lifing and happiness <3

@1lillyfee have fun! (stay away from +18 fics tho)

[sidedesnaa]

lin first meeting y/n in chapter 1 vs. lin with y/n 20 chapters later @uselessbard1031

#lin beifong #lin beifong x reader #uselessbard1031

[cherrychonk]

@uselessbard1031 oh noooo, our chief, it’s brokennn

#the legend of korra #lin beifong #fanart #request

[uselessbard1031]

The wait is over...thank you for everything

#burnout #the final chapter #fanfiction #ao3 #writer #fanfic #writing #uselessbard1031 #author #lin beifong x reader #lin beifong #atla #lok #lok fanfic #x reader

[uselessbard1031]

UselessBard1031 101

A user on Ao3 just asked me what I'm like and I realized that after these few years a few of you might like to know as well. So, I replied there and I'll repost the response here.

If any of you ever have questions about me or my stories dm me, comment! :) I really love hearing from you <3

***

"Hello!

I will start off by saying I do recognize your user name. It's still so crazy to me that I have readers who have followed me that long.

As for your query, I'm not sure what you'd like to know, so I suppose I'll just offer up a UselessBard 101, lol.

I am in my 20s, I have blue eyes and blonde curly hair; I'm 5'5 and 125ish pounds with tattoos all down my arms and an extra special top secret tattoo only very special ladies and actors sharing a changing room with me get to see ;) (my Tumblr pfp is pretty much me lol). I was going to do a face reveal during livestreaming but, as I've mentioned in some author notes, I'm starting a Cruise Ship job this month so I won't be able to do so, unfortunately. (But never say never!)

As for hobbies, I write, act (currently I work as a scare actor at a haunted house), bake, crochet, sew, do martial arts (Marcaida Kali, Krav Maga, Haitian Grappling, Mhuy Tai, Boxing, Ju Jitsu, Judo, Taekwondo, Kendo, and bits of others), I do yoga everyday along with meditation, and I love love love to read (currently reading Later by Stephen King and the Pali Canon).

My favorite color is red, specifically Crayola Crayon red, like, the color that comes out of the crayon labeled simply red. My favorite food is a garbage plate (though I'm a vegetarian and Rochester Meat Hot Sauce is a must on any plate so I just cry instead of indulging lol). My favorite book is a tie between both books in the Parker and Pentecost series by Steven Spotswood (Stephen?) (Lillian Pentecost is another one of my fictional crushes because omgodddddd that woman <3) My favorite film is Bullet Train (yes that modern one; I just love it sm and relate to Ladybug on another level).

I've been writing since, well, forever. There was this thing at my elementary school called the 'friendship pole'. It was just an old tetherball pole they had taken the ball off of when parents decided tetherball was 'too dangerous' of a game for us kids. The concept being that if you were a friendless little child, you would go sit by the pole and someone would ask you to play. Well, I'd go there every recess and sit and wait and watch other kids get asked to play and never me. It was tricky then to get a swing or slide without being 'in' with whatever group had claimed them that day. So I started bringing a notebook. That's the first time I can really remember writing for fun. By the end of fifth grade I was finsihing my first 'novel' (I have no idea if it actually met the wordcount for a novel, it was just however long a composition notebook was).

The story was called 'BroadFire' and was about a girl from a horse farm who befriended a wild horse. she had named the thing BroadFire, hence the name. Anyway, I don't remember much other than that he father didn't approve for some reason -- I think he thought it was dangerous because it was wild -- so he sought to kill it. In the original ending he did kill Broadfire, but I know my mom yelled at me for that so I think I ended up changing it, though I can't recall what to. That proves then that my original ending was definitely the best, or at least the most memorable.

I guess that's me then. Um, other labels are Buddhist, Lesbian, German/Irish American. Not really sure what more to say, so I hope I've helped you know me a bit better. <3 :)"

#about me #meet the author #fanfiction #ao3 #uselessbard1031 #x reader #procrastinator ik #funfacts #biography I guess #ask me #Add me on League of Legends: SkittleNoir

[uselessbard1031]

Izumi’s back in this chapter of Burnout ;)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31476017/chapters/97487241

#burnout #izumi #TLOK Fanfic #fanfiction #Lin Beifong #x reader #lin #Firebender #firebending #ao3 #lin beifong x reader #i love my metalbending chief with all my heart #UselessBard1031 #fanfic #avatar #the legend of korra

[uselessbard1031]

Updates, Fanfiction, and Sylvia Plath...

“If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.” -- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

I have a finishing problem. There, I've done the first step. I have a problem of getting down a path, getting close to the next step of that path, and going 'wait oops what if I want this other thing instead?' I do not know why I do this, but I do. Example A is the almost completed final chapter of Burnout sitting in google drive beside the two and a half chapter yet unpublished BG3 fanfic that leapfrogged over my thirteen chapter vampire novel that was only started when I had two scenes left of my detective novel.

The point is, I'm neurotic, lol. But I don't want to be.

This New Year, which I am starting right now because New Year's resolutions hardly last statistically, but which I am still calling a New Year's resolution for the simple matter of it sounds more motivating than a goal or a decision, I am going to try to finish my writing projects. Nope. Goals are supposed to be worded in definites. I will finish my writing projects (barring that I don't for one reason or another).

I'm putting my mind to it. Starting with Burnout. It's almost done and I just have to put my ass in a chair and finish it. Something I didn't do today in favor of writing something completely different that I may not even ever publish. But I'll do it. And soon, to prove I can and because you all deserve it for sticking with me this far haha.

If you've read to the end of this little update, then I will reward you with a little tease of my Baulder's Gate fanfiction. Will it ever be published? Maybe. Not sure. Depends if I even finish it. No, bad bard, you will finish it because you will be finishing things from now on. But currently it's just a hobby work. Still, I hope this little bit of chapter one makes you laugh or grin. It's set as the protagonist, Carmilla Kane (A Dungeons and Dragons OC of mine) chats with the quasit that Jekyll and Hydes her soul:

"Avernus is a cruel place. With it's crimson sky and craggy juts of volcanic rock it is what most people first imagine when they think of the hells. Volcanoes constantly flooding with lava illuminate the corpses and broken weapons of a constant battlefield and every breath of air assaults your nose with the smell of iron and blood from the river Styx. Clouds of ash lay heavy over the landscape, often bursting into spontaneous fireballs that mar both devil and demon. This may be a land of lawful evil, but this hellscape knows no alliance. The frontline of an eternal war, it's not a place many would choose to call home. But who here has a choice?

Boo! Boo! Uzuh Shabarra! First Carmilla fucks a devil and now Carmilla goes to work meeting for a devil! Shame! Shame!

"Good morning to you too, Dice," I mumble, still not sure how crazy it makes me to be talking to the demon voice in my head.

Boo! Boo! Boo! No fun! Let's skip the meeting. Let's kill something -- oo! Oo! Let's go tell Ardorach that Humusi is fucking an imp.

"But she's not."

But it would be so funny!

"Dice, we have to play by their rules, remember?"

Boo! Boo! Rules are boring! Carmilla is boring! 

"I--"

Boo! Boooo!

He's only going to get louder. It's through a chorus of boos that I make my way to the Basalt Citadel. By the time I arrive I feel twenty brain cells lighter and about twenty seconds from snapping. 

"Dice?" I say sweetly.

Uzuh shabarra! Carmilla shabarra!

"You're about to be ug if you don't quiet down." I pause. No response. Good. "Look, your life and mine both depend on Zariel's mood. If she starts to think we're unstable, my soul will be drop kicked Hades and you'll be stuck in the abyss again. So we have to behave, alright? At least for the council. After that, I'll take you down to Nebo's where you can reap as much chaos as this body can take. Alright? Deal?"

…Ngae amagi ibashen. Fineeee. 

"Good. Now keep quiet. I can't listen to the devils if you're shouting in my head."

Hehe!

"Dice," I scold.

Ugh! 

I wait. One. Two. Three seconds of silence proves his ceded temper so I head inside."

Abyssal Translations (Sumerian):

Uzuh Shabarra -- Unclean Bastard.

Shabarra -- Bastard

Ug -- Dead

Ngae amagi ibashen -- I crave freedom

#fanfic #bg3 #oc #sylvia plath #blog #writer #author #uselessbard1031 #uselessbard #ao3 #fandom #dungeons and dragons #fanfiction #updates #update

[uselessbard1031]

A confession to make...

I, UselessBard1031, have a confession to make. I understand that some of you may disown me for this and you may be entitled to. The truth is, the first time I watched Legend of Korra, I....I thought Lin and Tenzin would be getting back together in the end!

I know, I know. I shipped something straight involving our beloved Chief. I cannot apologize. I still, yes, you read that right, still kind of think they're adorable together and, as much as I love Pema as a character, would love to see Lin and Tenzin -- maybe a flashback to when they were teens. They were both so nerdy but in such different ways and I think his zen would keep her grounded and her Beifong-ness would give him the kick in the ass he needs.

I also ship KyaLin. Spirits help me.

#the legend of korra #tlok #lok #lin beifong #bisexual lin beifong #atla #ships #ship #a confession

[uselessbard1031]

NEW ONESHOTS & TWITCH?

Hello Bardies (and random people that stumbled upon this post)!

I owe you all an update and some writing.

Recently, I asked you all if you would watch me livestream to which I received an enthusiastic yes. So I built a pc! Yep, built, because I never do anything half assed (see: I broke my arm so bad I needed double surgery and almost a whole year of bedrest). However, because my life never ceases to be as mercurial as air, I recently received a job offer that would, among other things, require me to go live on a ship for six months. I accepted because, well, it’s sure to be an adventure! Though now that means I cannot stream as the pc I built to do so is not portable and my laptop is not streamable.

But fear not!

I’ll be back at shore soon enough and I’ll write while I’m out. 

When planning my first stream, I wrote a couple of oneshots (and wrote about half of four different chapters for three different stories I have going on) in hopes to do a countdown of sorts with an upload every day to stream. Now, however, since I could be whisked away by the coast guard for ‘how to not die at sea’ training any day now, I’ve decided to just post what I have done, finish what’s almost done, and then post that too.

First Up: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27339520/chapters/102823521

ONESHOTS FOR ALL!!!!

Featured this time is a Possesive! Asami X Reader and a Lin X Daughter! Reader from my requests file (Yes I still have a requests file, yes I’m aware that this file has requests from 2021 still -- what do you want from me? I’m an air sign.)

I hope this doesn’t disappoint you all, as I know I tend to be a bit flakey to begin with. I enjoy writing my stories for you as much as I enjoy riding motorcycles and jetting off to last minute sea jobs. But sometimes chapters can take a while, plans can change, and for that, I am sorry.

Thank you if you read this far and thank you for supporting me. I care for you all from the bottom of my heart.

‘Til next time,

~UselessBard1031

#fanfiction #oneshot #asami #Lin Beifong #lin #updates #update #authors note #the legend of korra #new job #bard is a jerk #but a really cool possibly sexy one ;) #Outing myself in the tags #Author #fanfic #A03

[uselessbard1031]

Like this post if you’d read an Ambessa X Reader if I wrote one — tryin’ to get a feel of the fandom crossover of my reader pool 👀 🤔

#arcane #ambessa medarda #arcane ambessa #ambessa x reader #leauge of legends #badass ladies #ao3 #uselessbard1031

[uselessbard1031]

Preview of Burnout - The Chief’s Girl P3

Hello all! You’ve been so patient as my arm heals (I get the cast off tomorrow!) and I feel so bad about the lack of updates. I promise I’m working as much as I can manage and will be working more now that I’m more healed. For now, please settle for a promise it will be soon and a preview of the next chapter. :) Wish you all well! Flamey-o!

~~~~~~~

“All month I’ve wanted to be here,” I say.

“Your father’s guest room?” Y/N teases.

“Alone. With you. Look, Y/N, I’m not the best with lovey dovey crap, I know that. I’m not sensitive or whiny about my feelings. I won’t pretend to be.”

“Lin, I know all of this. You’re my big strong police chief; tough as steel! That’s one of the things I love about you.”

“You’ll get tired of it. Don’t worry and don’t lie; I’ve already seen what my personality does to relationships. The first time I work through an anniversary or fail trying to comfort you about something, it’ll sting. It’ll drive us apart, I know it. I…I just want this to last, okay? I want to extend this part, the happy part, before one of us gets hurt. So I’m telling you up front, I’m laying all of my cards on the table.”

She studies me, eyes as warm as a fireplace, melting me as she ponders. Those lips of hers purse just slightly and suddenly she’s not the only one staring. I’m just about to give in and kiss her when she finally speaks.

“I’m afraid of how things will end too,” She admits. “I’ve never done this before. Relationships. They scare me, terrify me really. They’re worse than thunderstorms.”

No. Not yet. Please, Y/N, not yet. I thought we’d last at least a little bit longer. 

“With you, Lin. I’m not scared anymore. I’ve never felt safer than I do right here, in your arms.”

“I don’t want kids.” 

“I’d be a terrible mother.”

“You’d be a terrific mother. I don’t want kids.”

“I want a cat.”

“No cats.”

“We’ll get a cat.”

“Y/N.”

“Maybe two cats.”

“Now you’re pushing it.”

“Three cats then?”

“Shut up.” 

I kiss her and she laughs into it. I find another sound laughing along. It takes a minute for me to realize it, but I discover that that sound is me. I’m laughing. We’re laughing. I’m smiling against her lips and…spirits…I haven’t felt like this in a long time.

I slip a hand up to her breast and squeeze. How crass. Who is this person she turns me into? This laughing, breast squeezing, person?

Happy?

Is this me…happy?

#burnout #slow burn #Lin Beifong #legend of korra #TLOK #fanfiction #x reader #ao3 #UselessBard1031 #earthbender #Firebender

[cherrychonk]

@uselessbard1031 Yee yee

#the legend of korra #lin beifong

[cherrychonk]

@uselessbard1031

This is how I envision Garbage 🥰🥰🐻

#lin beifong

[uselessbard1031]

Update on Burnout:

Hello everyone, I hope you all haven’t forgotten about me. I’m so sorry to make you all wait so long for another chapter. I promise I was writing but then I started not feeling well and putting it off. As it turned out, “not feeling well” was my body telling me it was rejecting one of the pins the doctors put in my arm. I’m fine, and I’m going to see the doctor again on Tuesday to ask what they want to do about it. It’s kinda cool actually, being able to see a pin from the outside; it’s like a second elbow lol. But it does hurt and it’s terrorizing my stomach and head and sleep.

I’m taking things day by day. Only I would have the luck of a broken arm turning into a surgical complication, haha. I keep thinking about what the girlfriend trio would say if they saw Y/N doing some of the things I’m doing. (Example A - exercising my abs and doing yoga with a cast on). I’m fine, really; it’s nothing I can’t handle. I just think it’s time to admit I need to rest.

Between legal stuff, my injury, reshoots for a film I was in, finding time for writing my novel, and the complications from my surgery I’ve been busy. But I’m never too busy for you all. I put you on the back burner and I’m sorry for that. I promise that when my stomach settles enough to sit up and my elbow pain simmers down a bit I’ll put my novel aside and work on getting that new chapter to you all!

Much love and thank you for your patience,

-UselessBard1031

[uselessbard1031]

Good news and bad news Bardies!

~

The bad news is I broke my elbow at work :( BUT! It means I have a lot of time to write now! :)

I’ll be working on Fanfiction as much as I can starting as soon as I can move my fingers without pain (I think when I get a real cast instead of a splint it will be better) as well as on my novel.

Update soon!

-UselessBard1031