#v: surviving alderaan ( is a queen still a queen with no planet and no people )

[brcha]

tagdrop

v: princess of alderaan ( please picture me in the trees ) v: before the wars ( now come the days of queen breha; may they be blessed ) v: the clone wars ( i will not change our traditions for a repellent regime ) v: an imperial galaxy ( we can outlast the empire ) v: imperial occupation ( i was a queen and you took away my crown ) v: surviving alderaan ( is a queen still a queen with no planet and no people )

: bail organa ( i take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover ) : leia organa ( she will be loved with us ) : winter retrac ( little golden moon and stars ) : fess ilee ( if anything ever happens to me and you’re in trouble go to fess ) : ferus olin ( only twenty minutes to sleep but you dream of some epiphany ) : deara antilles ( when the words of a sister come back in whispers ) : padmé amidala ( i wish more than anything that you could see her grow ) : alderaan ( alderaan is peaceful; we have no weapons ) : visage ( gleaming twinkling eyes like sinking ships on waters ) : canon quotes ( the stuff of legends )

: aesthetics & wardrobe ( with beauty or the appreciation of beauty) : art ( some people are so talented ) : my edits ( liesl makes things ) : musings ( take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die ) : headcanons ( my mind turns your life into folklore ) : wishlist ( first star i see tonight ) : imagery ( slow motion double vision in rose blush )

r: family ( loving someone deeply gives you courage ) r: breha organa & leia organa ( my daughter is a miracle who never ceases to be miraculous ) r: breha organa & bail organa ( life was a willow and it bent right to your wind )

#v: princess of alderaan ( please picture me in the trees ) #v: before the wars ( now come the days of queen breha; may they be blessed ) #v: the clone wars ( i will not change our traditions for a repellent regime ) #v: an imperial galaxy ( we can outlast the empire ) #v: imperial occupation ( i was a queen and you took away my crown ) #v: surviving alderaan ( is a queen still a queen with no planet and no people ) #: bail organa ( i take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover ) #: leia organa ( she will be loved with us ) #: winter retrac ( little golden moon and stars ) #: deara antilles ( when the words of a sister come back in whispers ) #: fess ilee ( if anything ever happens to me and you’re in trouble go to fess ) #: ferus olin ( only twenty minutes to sleep but you dream of some epiphany ) #: padmé amidala ( i wish more than anything that you could see her grow ) #: alderaan ( alderaan is peaceful; we have no weapons ) #: visage ( gleaming twinkling eyes like sinking ships on waters ) #: canon quotes ( the stuff of legends ) #: aesthetics & wardrobe ( with beauty or the appreciation of beauty) #: art ( some people are so talented ) #: musings ( take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die ) #: headcanons ( my mind turns your life into folklore ) #r: family ( loving someone deeply gives you courage ) #r: breha organa & bail organa ( life was a willow and it bent right to your wind ) #: imagery ( slow motion double vision in rose blush ) #: wishlist ( first star i see tonight ) #tagdrop #r: breha organa & leia organa ( my daughter is a miracle who never ceases to be miraculous ) #: my edits ( liesl makes things )

[alderaqueen]

@starsscarred ( brecar lanfel ) sent: "when you are young they assume you know nothing" ( meme )

She smiles faintly, knowing what he means, and remembering well the times in her life when those around her had assumed that she was too young and inexperienced to be as clever as she was. For a while, it had frustrated her, until Deara had quite wisely suggested that she just use it to her advantage. Use it to watch and learn. Then she had, and it had actually been more effective than she’d initially thought it would be, when she had wanted to immediately and always be taken as seriously as she had thought that being Crown Princess entitled her to be. 

“Let them underestimate you and then prove them wrong,” Breha suggests, handing the young pilot a pack of rations. “Then you’ll always have the element of surprise.”

#starsscarred #starsscarred ( brecar lanfel ) #breha vc: mom believes in you brecar #breha answers ( ic asks & meme responses ) #v: surviving alderaan ( is a queen still a queen with no planet and no people )

[ashlynncoy-blog]

Misfire: Critical Condition, Part V

Here’s your next installment of angst.

It’s angsty, but necessary. If you want/need to catch up with parts I-IV, follow the #Misfire Verse tag at the bottom to find other installments.

Have...er… fun?

 Leia had kept her apartment in the Alderaanian Embassy since her first term in the Imperial Senate. It had been a compromise at the time—a way she could live on her own as an adult while being simultaneously still under the protection of her parents. At sixteen years old, it had felt a little less like freedom than she’d imagined for herself as a newly-invested Senator, but in the intervening years, it had come to feel as much like home as the palace on Alderaan.

Even when she’d been reported killed by the Empire, the staff had kept her rooms pristine, and she’d always felt safe within their walls. The central government had no authority to enter the sovereign Embassy of Alderaan without significant legal rigamarole. And although she had never fully trusted them never to violate their own laws thusly, she had been sure they wouldn’t have occasion to do so unexpectedly.

As far as she knew, no Imperial had ever entered her embassy apartment save the scarce few functionaries she’d entertained by invitation. Tonight the man she’d invited in was no Imperial, but still she wondered if he might leave tonight as her enemy. She sincerely hoped not.

The lights were dim and the fire was low as she poured two glasses of local desert wine for herself and Isolder. It was a taste she’d developed on Hapes, one of the few souvenirs of her relationship with the Hapan prince she was sure to take with her for the rest of her life. She’d had the finest local vintage she could get on such short notice ferried over to her as soon as Isolder had agreed to meet her for the evening.

“Thank you for agreeing to come down tonight,” Leia said to him as she crossed the room, glasses in hand. “I know ship’s time and local time aren’t always in agreement. I’m sorry if I’ve inconvenienced you.”

“Think nothing of it,” Isolder replied, taking a glass from her hand and bringing it to his nose for a sniff. Leia watched him as he examined the wine—just the same as he’d examined dozens of glasses over the course of their courtship. Smelling it, rolling it around in the glass, and finally bringing it to his lips for the smallest taste.

He was a refined man of refined manners. And, stars, he was handsome. His chiseled jaw and soft blond hair were the stuff of holonovelas. Could she have loved him if she’d just tried a little harder. Leia brought her own glass to her nose, following in the Prince’s example of how to treat an unknown vintage.

No. She was sure. She had tried. She’d tried to love him and she’d tried to find ways to make things work even when she was sure she wouldn’t. She did her best to smile as she swirled her wine in its glass.

Isolder set his drink down and took one of her hands in both of his.

“Dear Leia,” he said, his gray-blue eyes drilling into hers, “tell me what’s on your mind,” he implored. “Something is vexing you, and I would very much like to know what it is.”

“You really do know me well,” she said, feeling her smile grow sadder as she nodded her head. “In fact,” she continued, “I think you already know what I’m about to say.”

Isolder squeezed her hands and took a deep breath. With a nod, he reached for his glass. He took a measured sip before looking back at her.

“That when the Song of War returns to Hapes, you will not be aboard.”

“No,” Leia affirmed, “no I won’t.”

“I will admit I am not surprised,” Isolder said back. “Disappointed, yes, but not surprised.”

Leia took a sip of her drink and did her best to gather her thoughts. She had meant to wait a few days to have this conversation—to have plenty of time to sort things out in her own head and to be as reasoned and articulate as possible in the moment. But after the talk she’d just had with her father, waiting even one day felt dishonest. She didn’t want to string Isolder along for a moment longer than she had to.

“I have had a wonderful time these past months,” she told him. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, and your planet, and your people. It’s astounding. The Hapes Consortium is a true treasure. But I think you’ll agree I’m not the proper queen to rule it.”

Isolder nodded. He took another swallow from his glass before leaning forward, perching his elbows on his knees, and frowning.

“I will admit I had my reservations over time as to your suitability to serve as Queen Mother,” he told her frankly, “but I was willing to trust your own assessment of yourself. If you found yourself fit for the job, then I would never dare to think otherwise.”

“I appreciate your confidence in me. And I’m glad we both agree that I’d be a poor fit to serve your people. I’m just not well versed enough in the methods of governance your people would expect from me.”

“Even the way you speak of rule as to serve,” he said back, a chuckle in his voice that Leia had come to know as a sound of amused wonderment, “that goes contrary to everything we believe. Your ideas about dynastic monarchy are quite radical,” he declared, “especially for a princess.”

“An adopted princess,” she reminded him. “I’m still surprised you didn’t decide to call this whole thing off when you found out I’m not an Organa by blood.”

“I will admit I considered it,” he replied. “But you were so charming, and so regal in other ways, I was sure my people would come to accept you.”

“But then there would be the ugly matter of succession,” she said.

Isolder frowned again.

“Because you were adopted?” he asked.

Leia shook her head. She took a pronounced, very un-princess-like swallow of her wine. She hadn’t been prepared to talk about this, but she felt she owed Isolder the whole truth.

“You know I’ve maintained that I’m not interested in bearing children,” she told him. “And I know you expected I’d eventually change my mind, or else I wouldn’t agree to becoming Queen Mother—as it is a rather specific job title.”

“Indeed,” he replied.

“Well,” she continued with another swallow of wine, “what I hadn’t told you yet is that, even if I’d changed my mind and decided I wanted biological children, there’s a chance I couldn’t have them.”

“What is this?” he asked, sitting up straight as he sipped again at his wine.

“I’m sorry to just be telling you this now,” she said. “But I feel like you deserve to know the whole truth. When I was held captive aboard the Death Star,” she told him, managing to keep her lower lip from trembling, but only just, “I was subjected to multiple forms of torture,”

“Leia,” Isolder gasped. He reached out a hand to her again and squeezed her fingers.

“No,” she replied, rejecting his offer of a hand as she shook her head. She’d never been able to abide physical contact when talking about this. “Thank you,” she allowed. “But… I want you to let me finish.”

“All right,” Isolder agreed.

“I was beaten,” she shared, “burned, shocked, and shot up with chem—some of it so illegal it still doesn’t have a name. I was scheduled for execution,” she explained, “and the Empire had already reported my death. They didn’t really keep records of the things they did to prisoners under those conditions. As far as anyone can tell, no one else has ever survived what I survived. There’s no way to know the long-term effects of what they did to me because no one has ever lived long enough to find out. I could develop aggressive cancer tomorrow—or necrotic organ failure—seizures…. There’s just no way to know. And there is a very, very strong chance that what they did to me left me barren.”

“Why did you wait so long to tell me this?” he asked. “When you knew this was part of the future we were discussing?”

“Because it’s not something I tell people,” she replied. “I’ve only told a handful of people I was tortured. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure it would come to matter with us. I knew…” Leia paused and took another sip of wine before she continued, “I knew if everything else felt right then it was going to need to be a conversation. But then everything else never felt completely right, so I didn’t bring it up.”

“You are right, of course,” Isolder replied, “many differences stand between us. I thought it would be easy to overcome them, but I was, I think, naïve.”

“Maybe we both were,” Leia said, shrugging her shoulders as she sipped at her wine. “We tried, though.”

“Indeed, we did.”

“And I do believe,” she added, “that in the beginning, you really thought you loved me.”

“I did,” Isolder agreed. “I thought I was very much in love with you. But it seems that what I really fell in love with was the beautiful shell of you filled with my own ideas of what you would be like.”

“I hope I haven’t been too disappointing.”

“No,” he assured her. “No—you’ve been far more than I could have imagined. But at the end of the day, all the things you are and all the things I am are not so compatible with one another.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Dear Leia,” he said as he set his now empty glass down on a nearby table and rose from his seat, “it pains me to be parting ways with you, but I do agree it’s for the best.”

“I have enjoyed our time together,” she replied, standing as well, “And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping to see you again soon. I’d like to think we can move forward as friends—perhaps even colleagues.”

“Colleagues?”

“I may not be fit to rule the Hapes Consortium,” she replied, “but I’d still love to have you as an ally—or even a member—of the New Republic. Alderaan would be honored to introduce a measure inviting Hapan cooperation.”

“I will get to work on a treaty as soon as I return to Hapes,” isolder agreed readily. “You have given me six months of your life and your very best effort. The least I can give you is that.”

“I’ll look forward to hearing from you,” she said in earnest as she followed his lead and began to move toward the door.

“I shall miss you, dear Leia,” Isolder said as they reached the entryway. “You have been a wonderful adventure for me.”

“And you for me as well,” she replied.

Isolder bent his face to hers and kissed her gently. It was a sweet kiss, friendly, lacking any pretense of passion. It was the most honest they’d been with each other in months—maybe ever.

“Take care of yourself,” she said as he stepped through her doorway to leave, “and don’t be a stranger.”

“You as well, dear Leia,” he replied, “I will always think of you fondly.”

#misfire verse #misfire #ashlynn's fic #SW fanfic #sw au

[brcha]

@welltala sent a kiss on the brow ( meme , accepting )

She’s still shaken from everything that had happened: Bail returning to Alderaan to say the fight was now, the news of the Tantive IV’s capture and destruction (and their certainty that Leia was alive still), her pleas for Fess to go and find her daughter (’I know she is alive!’) and his agreement but instance that she and Bail leave Alderaan immediately because of an awful feeling he had. Bail’s agreement and insistence that they listen to Fess and leave; Breha’s refusal to leave her planet until Bail very nearly bodily dragged her to a ship at Fess’s continued insistence that she must leave. 

The depth of grief at the destruction of her entire world. The way that there was nothing anyone could say to lessen the guilt she felt for having abandoned her people to die without her. There was nothing she could have done, Bail continued to tell her, and yet it did not ease the pain. It did not make her feel any less like she had betrayed every vow she had taken as Queen by leaving her planet. 

The heat of Yavin IV doesn’t warm her the way Alderaan’s sun did. She doesn’t know what to do here, in the Rebel base where she feels out of place and useless. Bail has already been pulled a dozen different ways, busying himself with everything that the Alliance needs him with. Yet Breha doesn’t know her place here, doesn’t know how to make herself useful. It seems as though the only thing she can do is sit out of the way, watching everyone around her without really seeing anything. 

It’s a kiss to her brow that pulls her attention back into focus, and she looks to her side to see Tala sit down beside her. Breha manages to give her a small smile of greeting; she is glad to see Tala, at least another familiar face. She reaches over and takes Tala’s hand, giving it a squeeze in thanks.

#welltala #meme response #v: surviving alderaan ( is a queen still a queen with no planet and no people ) #(neither of them are dead. obviously. dead? who? where? nah.)

[alderaqueen]

tagdrop

v: before the wars ( the bright center of the universe ) v: the clone wars ( i will not change our traditions for a repellent regime ) v: imperial occupation ( i was a queen and you took away my crown ) v: an imperial galaxy ( we can outlast the empire ) v: surviving alderaan ( is a queen still a queen with no planet and no people )

: bail organa ( go to bed hotshot. i'll catch you in the morning ) : leia organa ( she will be loved with us ) : fess ilee ( if anything ever happens to me and you're in trouble go to fess ) : deara antilles ( by becoming a spy you brought danger to this house ) : padmé amidala ( i wish more than anything that you could see her grow ) : alderaan ( alderaan is peaceful; we have no weapons ) : visage ( images in the looking glass ) : canon quotes ( the stuff of legends )

: aesthetics & wardrobe ( with beauty or the appreciation of beauty) : art ( some people are so talented ) : musings ( whispers through the winds )

r: family ( loving someone deeply gives you courage ) r: breha organa & leia organa ( my daughter is a miracle who never ceases to be miraculous ) r: breha organa & bail organa ( our love will last until the stars grow cold )

#v: before the wars ( the bright center of the universe ) #v: the clone wars ( i will not change our traditions for a repellent regime ) #v: imperial occupation ( i was a queen and you took away my crown ) #v: an imperial galaxy ( we can outlast the empire ) #v: surviving alderaan ( is a queen still a queen with no planet and no people ) #: bail organa ( go to bed hotshot. i'll catch you in the morning ) #: leia organa ( she will be loved with us ) #: fess ilee ( if anything ever happens to me and you're in trouble go to fess ) #<-it physically PAINS ME to tag ferus as 'fess' I just need that on the record #: deara antilles ( by becoming a spy you brought danger to this house ) #: padmé amidala ( i wish more than anything that you could see her grow ) #: alderaan ( alderaan is peaceful; we have no weapons ) #: visage ( images in the looking glass ) #: canon quotes ( the stuff of legends ) #: aesthetics & wardrobe ( with beauty or the appreciation of beauty) #: art ( some people are so talented ) #: musings ( whispers through the winds ) #r: family ( loving someone deeply gives you courage ) #r: breha organa & leia organa ( my daughter is a miracle who never ceases to be miraculous ) #r: breha organa & bail organa ( our love will last until the stars grow cold ) #tagdrop