What a fucking NIGHTMARE.
I woke up this morning at 5AM, Tuesday June 28th, 2022.
Took my shower, woke the wife, got dressed, woke the oldest, got 2 pairs of shorts out of the dryer i still needed to pack, watered the plants in the house, watered the plants in the back yard on the patio, took the suitcase down to the car, got the portable blu-ray player with 20 hours of movies, got board games for the family, cleaned some dishes, helped pack food, looked for my oldest shoes that we can't find... loaded the car and set off.
BUT MY DUMB ASS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO PLAY THE THEME SONG "HOLIDAY ROAD" FROM National Lampoons Vacation while getting ready...
Gassed up the car and headed south.
No problems until we hit the Ohio/West Virginia boarder in Gallopolis. The car says
LOW TIRE PRESSURE.
That means a catastrophic failure in my tires integrity. So we stop at a Loves truck stop off Rt35
Put air in the tire. I can hear and feel the leak.
So I bust ass towards the nearest tire center that is 11 miles and 15 minutes away. But I feel the ass end getting squirrely.
So I stop at a Speedway and put more air into it just trying to preserve the tire so I don't have to buy a new one.
Put air into the tire and bust ass to a damned Walmart tire center.
We get there, ask the to see if it can be patched, there are 2 people ahead of us. So we wait... there is a hair salon in the damned Walmart. We see if they can cut the boys hair. It will be 10:30 before they can and that's too long so we go back to the tire department.
"We can't patch your tire because the inner tread is bald."
"OK, put a new tire on it for me please."
"We don't carry that size and need to order it. It will be two days."
(Turns out 245/40/19 is not a common size tire so fuck me, right?)
"I DONT HAVE TWO DAYS BECAUSE IM MEETING A FAMILY AT OUR RESORT THE NEXT DAY AT 4..."
"Well... try Dailey tire, maybe they will have one."
So I call and wouldn't you know, they DO! They had two 245/40/19 tires!
So I send my wife to the hair appointment for the boys, I have the dude at the tire center use a Cheetah (pressure tank) to fill my tire and then rip ass town the road to Dailey's
I pull up, tires flat, they drop me in bay 4 as shown, grab the new tire, (A Goodyear, we have Pirelli"s) jack up the car, pull the lugs, "Hey pops grab me the hammer", "The big one or the small one?", "Small one will work.", knocks the wheel off, shows me TWO punctures, and dismounts, mounts, and balances the tire all in 15 minutes.
I go back to Walmart and sit until 11:30 till the boys are done with their haircuts and hop back on the road 2 hours behind schedule.
$60 including tip
Trip is smooth sailing.
LOW TIRE PRESSURE
What. The. Fuck. WHY!?
I tell my wife fuck it let's just find a service center.
CLOSEST ONE IS 15 MILES IN THE APPALACHIAN MOUNTAIN'S IN BLUEFIELD?
This time I drive the motherfucker till its wopwopwopwopwopwop.... and stop in the middle of Butt Fuck Egypt under an overpass outside of fucking Bluefield West Virginia.
And I start calling.
There are 18 listed tire shops or service centers in the above photo. 6 of them never answered.
The other 12 don't carry 245/40/19 because it is an uncommon size.
Walmart - "we can get it in two days."
Sam's Club - "we can get it in two days."
B&M tire - "I don't know how long."
The damned Ford dealership, (we have a Lincoln) - "we don't have tires in stock we get them delivered when you schedule a service. We can have it by 10:30 tomorrow."
Kitts tire service - we can have it by 9:30 tomorrow. "
All of them besides Kitts suggested I go to motherfucking Kitts.
So my wife is contacting roadside through our insurance company and needs a drop-off so I tell her Walmart just to get it somewhere off the highway. I keep trying to find a damned 245/40/19 and realize that we won't arrive to Orlando the next day until 10:30PM If the wind blows right, a unicorn farts magic dust into our gas tank, nobody needs to eat or piss, and I don't blow another fucking tire!
The tow driver shows up after an hour and a half. He says, "Did you try Kitts?" Well shit, everybody said Kitts. "Tow us to Kitts, they can get us one by 9:30 in the morning". Maybe we can make it by 10:30PM in Orlando leaving the other family by themselves for 6 hours. (They can't check in without us because they are our guest.)
He replies, "I can't without clearance from your insurance company." (See confused meme above)
Wife frantically tries to contact the claims department, she's freaked out and falling apart silently, I'm shutting down, the driver walks up and starts the process of getting us to Kitts.
"Just tell em I took you to Walmart."
He unloads us on the left and I have the brilliant idea to call all the dealerships in the area. Surely one of them has a 245/40/19
Toyota - "nope"
Subaru - "nope, have you tried Kitts?"
Chevy - "nope"
Dodge - "we don't have inventory, we get them as needed"
Other Toyota - "try the other Toyota store, we get what we need from them."
Now understand during all of this I have a 13 and almost 8 year old asking when we will get to Orlando. My wife is trying to cancel our hotel in Savanna, Georgia while talking to the other family meeting us, dealing with insurance, trying to calm down, and get us a hotel in wherever we are for the night.
Hyundai - "sorry we don't have a tire department, we send them to Nissan. (Same family owns them I think.)
I call Nissan, "Hey I'm in a bind, I'm looking for an odd ti...." I get a tap on the shoulder.
It's the owner of Kitts.
"Hey, we have your tire in the back. We just found it. In fact we have two and didn't know it. They aren't in the inventory......."
Look. I'm am not ashamed to tell you I cried on the spot. Silently but still, I wiped tears out of my eyes.
(Side note, a gottdamned McLaren drove past this tire shop while I was on the phone with my dad while they were installing our tire) in THIS town?
So here I am, in my hotel bed next to my 13 year old with my wife snoring 3 feet away from me, at 1:24 in the morning after shaving 45 minutes off a 6.5 hour stretch doing 15 to 20 MPH over the limit through Virginia, North and South Carolina and 12 miles into Georgia.
We should have got here at 6PM. We got here at 11, we're $500 poorer and we haven't even reached Orlando yet.
Don't EVER listen to "Holiday Road" before going on a trip. Nothing good will happen.
Until tomorrow, bye bitches.
WOLFSTAR: ROAD TRIP
(Road trip / camping / vacation)
Summer is here! Let me therefore present some wolfstar!road trip recs! There’s just something amazing about these kinds of marauders-on-vacation types of fics. I don’t know what it is, I just love them. So here we go!🚘🏕
Hard To Find, by accioromulus (13k)
The air conditioning is already broken, Sirius's back has been effectively glued to the leather seat via sweat, and this road-trip may have been a Very Bad Idea.
Definitely my fav road trip fic EVER. This is just sooooo beautiful, in every way. It’s so soft and sweet and cute and perfect and I love it. READ IT!🚘🚘
Harmonicas, Hinky-punks, and Heather, by @squidgilator (23k)
Sirius and Remus get stranded in Scotland on Order business, and decide to walk to Hogwarts. Featuring the Brontës, a harmonica, a shrinking tent, and some self-discovery.
A post-Hogwarts (first war) fic with absolutely no angst. This is incredibly sweet and funny, clever and well-written. Read it!
All Your Glory In Your Form, by ohkay (2k)
In the aftermath of Sirius leaving the Noble and Most Ancient Mausoleum of Black, things go a little sideways, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter think the beach will cure all ills.
Super short but such a sweet fic. In which after Sirius has been disowned, the boys go on a little vacation. Well worth your time!🌊🌊
Going As Planned, by lionturtles (2k)
Camping, drinking, awkward kissing.
Oh I like this one! I’ve read it so many times😍 It’s a very marauder-y fic (basically the boys being the idiots they all are). A campfire, marshmallows, a game of never have I ever - what more could you need? 🔥⛺️
One for the road, by rojohbi (4k)
Piling into the car was uncomfortable and cramped, but there was something oddly satisfying about sitting on ratty blankets in the backseat, a box of fresh comfort food at his feet and Sirius’ legs splayed over his lap as the other backseat-inhabitant nestled himself into the corner and almost immediately began snoring. James met his eyes through the rearview, and this time when he saw the knowing smile, Remus smiled right back.
This fic was such a pleasant surprise! It’s a short fic, but at the same time it kinda feels like a longer fic. Gorgeous! A little angsty (but ofc with a happy ending), with a lot of Remus doubting himself. It also has so much feeling - it’s beautifully written, and kinda makes me wanna go on road trip. And the pining! Sweet lord, it was wonderful! I definitely recommend this fic🚘
Heat, by LadyAmina (2k)
The summer air is too warm. The campfire isn't helping. Neither is Sirius's head in his lap. Neither is the burning blood in his veins. Remus is overwhelmed and something has to give.
A cute little camping-fic in which Remus gets a li’l jealous, when James and Sirius discuss girls (how could that be???)🥰🔥🏕
June, And Other Natural Disasters, by montparnasse (6k)
Sirius talks, begs, and bribes Remus into a spontaneous trip to Brighton the summer of their graduation. Remus loses all sense of direction; Sirius loses his shirt; Remus kisses the last moth-eaten vestiges of his sanity a long, sloppy goodbye.
This is not as much fluffy, as it is sexy🔥🔥 Honestly, it’s a little too smutty for my taste - but it’s still very good! If you’ve read anything by montparnasse before, you know that they write really well. So, if you’d like to read a well written vacation-fic full of sexual tension, then this is the fic for you!🏖
Camping, Comfort, and Clichés, by oliverdalstonbrowning (5k)
Remus goes on a camping trip with his friends, and discovers all the comfort and clichés that go with it.
Very cute!! I just love a fic in which Remus is pining - it’s everything I need in life. Go read it!⛺️⛺️
the private kind of purple, by greenscape (6k)
Post-grad summer. They are reaching for things they cannot name.
Or, it's four days out of Hogwarts and Sirius and Remus go wild camping in Scotland.
This. Is. Beautiful. Quite painful, to be honest, but so damn beautiful. It’s tagged with the very appropriate tag “light on the camping heavy on the angst”, which I’d say is very fitting. But oh, you have to read it! Just... the prose! Everything! I don’t know what more to say except give you this little snippet:
“But now Sirius is asking, not telling, and Remus is tired, and the tent is dark, so dark, and they are the only two people in the world, surely. And Remus wants Sirius more than he wants to be back at Hogwarts. More, even, than he wants to be fully human.”
tomorrow, when the world is free, by waynebruce (2k)
Sirius, in a tour-guide voice: “The White Cliffs of Dover, part of the North Downs formation, is the region of English coastline facing the Strait of Dover and France. The cliff face, which reaches a height of 110 metres, owes its striking appearance to the composition of chalk accented by streaks of black flint-”
“Padfoot, mate, you never told us you could read,” says James. Sirius whacks the back of his head with the guidebook.
Such a beautifully written road trip! A pre-slash fic in which Remus pines a lot.
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out, by @wanderingbandurria (2,4k)
Sirius might have a plan on the summer before seventh year that might not be completely legal. And he might invite Remus to partake in it. And Remus - he might says yes and find himself being Sirius' getaway car in an unexpected road trip through the countryside.
Or, a summer road trip leads to Sirius and Remus to review their feelings for the other.
A different kind of road trip! In which the boys are friends with benefits, and thus are pining away because of their inability to communicate… stupid lovely little boys! This little fic is absolutely wonderful.
That’s it, friends! I hope you enjoy, and that you’re having a lovely summer so far<3