#vaccuum go s u c c | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aph-2p-headcanons · 7 years

Text

2P!Russia Boyfriend Headcanons

((okay ive gotten shit ton of passive aggressive asks for him and china and romano they're cOmIng PatienNce ples. ))

hi hello is this thing on yes thaNK YOU WELCOME FOLKS

TO THE BRAGINSKY BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS *eight grader airhorn

app*

okay it jus one boy

ur boi

;)))))))))

VIKTOR BRAGINSKY

wowie what a man

such a tol boi i mean are you short????

are you tall??

it doesn't matter

he;ll do it all

like i can see him in sweater vests and button ups and his lil scarf for some reason just with you on his shoulders mounting a paper plate on the wall because he's fucking weird as hecke

oKAY SORRY GETTING OFF TOPIC AGAIN

ALRIGHT

YOU GOT A RUSSIAN BITCH BABY

he wont cry if you call him that dont worry he isn't a shark he'll just snark

WOO ON PAR WITH THE RHYMES TODAY I AM A RAP GODD KACHOW

he m e mes im so sorry,,,,,

like he's such a fucking dad it's never funny they're all from 2009 and you're probably cringing but he thinks its funny and he doesn't have a visible sense of humour so you chuckle and tell him that that cat in the ceiling is hilarious - "how did he get up there heh sillyy cat" " :,<)) gee bab e i dunno aha h ahA" *scrapes teeth along cheese grater*

i havent even explained oh me oh m y

dearest apologies friends

viktor is seen by most as tall, dark, and mysterious (spoiler: he is),,,

i see him, also, as this , like, almost snobby quiet guy?? that was brought up sheltered from the outside world?? ya dig??

he doesn't suck a whole bunch, he's just inexperienced

he loves to read and write and is a pacifist ((so you could sayy,,,, he wanted to write, not fight,,,, ive already made three im so sorry))

so,,, he does not want to fight with you, eve r

but he will not hesitate to tell you if he doesn't like something you're doing - my dude doesn't have time for fuckery - unless it's meant to be fun - like,,, - he doesn't want to be mean, but he doesn't like that you are being mean, ya dig??????

anyway

so the dude is like Ivan, just harder??? like physically and emotionally

he's been very distanced from people his whole life, so he comes off as rather blunt, crude, and cold,,

m'bOI DOESNT WANT TO SCARE YOU OFF WITH HIS INTIMIDATING AURA;;;

HE WANTS UR LUV UR LUV IS HIS DRUG

im sorry it's not 2011 anymore someone drag me from this pit

he is like francois and kuro;;;;; he likes romanticism

he also likes quiet

so gentle, quiet dates at home are his favourite

he isn't one for social interaction,,,

but if you really wanna, then he will go !

he really likes ballet and opera and classy things

my dude will d r a g you to recitals and performances all the time

he's a theater nerd

HE'S LIKE THAT ONE DRAMA KID NO ONE EXPECTED

you can hear him humming to les mis while he reads and francois hating the room a little bit less because of it

i feel like he's actually so ripped but if his skin touched sunlight he would be banished to sibera - welcome home comrade

he likes,, soft - if you have a soft body he has a new pillow and a lead head - rip @ur thighs they are asleep

he and francois go to poetry slams often and he wants you to come too so he knows someone

he will lift you

unexpectedly

anywhere

if you are in the way you're on the ceiling now bye like,,, you are i n the spot he needs to vaccuum at that exact second right then all the time what the hecke he just mopped and you're s t an di n g i n th e f ll oor with your s OCKs

yOU were just in the Ga Ra ge you H e ck Er

you're on the chandelier now

no you're not he needs to dust up there get down what the fuck e Swifter no Sweeping™ !!

he is ur mom and ur dad

did u do ur laundry?????????????? no?????????????? good he already did like seven weeks ago catch the fuck up "honey where are the ??? bills???" "i did them approximately eighteen billion years ago? get on my level?"

he speaks to you *and only you* in a friendly joking way

he speaks fluent sarcasm to everyone - if you aren't familiar with the language you will be the first day into the relationship

t o u c h this boy he needs your touch like he needs a i r

he will most likely complain but he is a dirty liar

the dude's hair is messy 24/7 but it looks so,,, good,,,,

he's an early riser but hates waking up which is The Worst™ - he's got breakfast ready at 3AM tho

read to him! he will Die

if you know russian he will never speak english to you again it's settled -if you don't you will never speak english again it's settled, he's teaching boy howdy would he be a sexy teacher holy fuck

i feel like his ass is so firm it could crush coconuts between its cheeks - its its own entity

he unfortunately is good friends with Zao and is unfortunately dragged on unfortunate events all the time, unfortunately,,, - save him - he is a cry for help

he goes on trips a lot and no on knows why? like sometimes he's gone and then he's back and everyone is like????? where go?? - "i was in wales. doing things." "hey sorry im late i didnt want to come"

he sometimes calls you in the middle of the night when he wakes up from a nightmare, but most of the time if you dont answer he'll just listen to your voicemail so he knows you're still there

aAAAAAAA WHAT A SALTY BEAN

he gives a good ol' massage - not the most empathetic but he isn't apathetic either, he just isn't the best comforter

i feel like he is vladimir putin and leisurely rides bears with matt

i dont understand him at all like he will be crying in his bathtub, bottle of whiskey and pure vodka mixed, watching Barbie in the Pink Shoes one second and on top of the empire state building with three pitbull bodyguards and a Gucci cigar - i don't eventhink those exist but he has one??? he doesn't even smoke that often??

looks super cute baking muffins in a pink apron at 4pm on a Tuesday

looks super cute gutting a fish on a rock in the siberian tundra at 4am on a Thursday

he always wears longsleeves but looks SO GOOD in short sleeves or tanks like FUCK

his sweaters hide his secrets but you can wear them so you know he used to want to be a cowboy when he was seven and b o u g h t a wax replica of indiana jones for his collection

he looks so damn good in a suit holy shit

i feel like he's a tailor but only for dolls, its cute - he will make you origami things all the time idk why he is so good at them tho

he'll wrap the two of you in a blanket burrito on a hot day and refuse to let go "get off my lawn"

youre dating a grandpa

he is kinda a sugar daddy tho, but he's reserved and doesn't wave it because he is an Adult McGrownUp

actually is probably a traffic conductor in his spare time, but only in andorra? on the weekends? that's probably where he actually is

viktor lOves tobe called vitya and its probably as good as a daddy kink

clevverr, clevverrr boi

hs is a Good Boi i promise

will be ur angle or ur dev i l tho ;))

just ask and he's urs

VIKTOR BRAGINSKY FOLKS

#2p russia #aph russia #aph #hetalia #2p #2p hetalia #aph 2p #2p headcanons #headcanons #boyfriend headcanons #aph headcanons #hetalia headcanons

381 notes · View notes