Hazbin Hotel Ep 5
Ok wow Ep 5 (and 6) was such a ride.
It's so fun to dissect Alastor since he's pretty much the only one who's character is hard to pin right now.
I can easily believe that Lilith is the one he has a contract with (hence the on a leash comment). I can believe that he might or might not be there because of Lilith (either he's obeying Lilith or he's getting close to Charlie because that in some way will help him get rid of his leash). I can also believe that he is intentionally pissing Lucifer off.
BUT
The thing is, even with all of this, I really thought that the Alastor we would see was the same Alastor we saw who handled Vox with so much class. Someone did a mini analysis about their face off. Alastor was completely unbothered and in control of the whole situation. He didn't bother interrupting Vox and the whole encounter with Vox losing his top and Alastor keeping his cool definitely showed that Alastor won that round.
But with Lucifer, it's different. Lucifer is pathetic and desperate. It would be so easy for Alastor to rile him up while still being calm, but there's none of that here. Where's the manipulative persona? Rather, it even seems like Lucifer brought Alastor down to his level of pettiness.
There's visceral rage right from the beginning when he sees the welcome banner, and the uncontrollable twitching of the eye when he sees Lucifer hug Charlie. The funny thing is Alastor is the first one to react to Lucifer while Lucifer is completely focused on his daughter. Twice we saw this petty eye twitching - when he was annoyed with the Egg Bois and when Carmilla could care less about where he disappeared to. So we know Alastor is capable of it. He's not as high and above everyone as he thinks he is.
Lucifer's lame comeback was enough to get him to swear?? It was such a whiplash from what was established about Alastor so far. But for him to show his annoyance at Lucifer in such an obvious way, shows that there's something about Lucifer that just pisses him off, enough to slip his usual control.
Same with his final encounter with Mimzy. They're established as good friends, but the hotel is a red line. He's not all lofty like in the past episodes when Mimzy confronts him about whether or not he actually cares about the hotel. We as the audience are supposed to be sure that he doesn't, but I was expecting at least a smirk or his usual pleasantness and I-know-something-you-don't attitude. But he was as serious as he ever has been when he gives Mimzy an ultimatum. And the thing is, it's not a show he puts on to get on Charlie's good side or to piss Lucifer off since neither of them see it.
Again, I could easily interpret the entire sequence between Lucifer and Alastor as Alastor still being on top, and willfully manipulating and using Charlie just so he can have one over Lucifer if not for those two things. His uncontrolled reactions - swearing at Lucifer and the uncontrollable eye twitching when Lucifer and Charlie hug - because what benefit even does that get him??
So maybe he is taking this step-dad thing seriously because Lilith and him are involved somehow (which, yikes in so many ways), maybe he hates Lucifer for a separate reason unrelated to Charlie and/or Lilith or his hatred of Lucifer has everything to do with Charlie (even if it started with a deal with Lilith initially) and Charlie (as well as the hotel) are starting to have more of an influence on him than he expects.
Either way, it was awesome and this was exactly the found family chaos I was hoping for and I sure am glad to get it.
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Have you ever gone into detail on what your view of Spamton and Jevil’s relationship was like? Do you think they met before either of them was Gaster-pilled or afterwards?
I could've sworn I did, but just in case I haven't actually:
I suppose it might depend on how you might define "Gaster-pilled," between something like Spamton getting the magic phone calls that gave him success, or what broke both their senses of reality.
But generally I see their relationship as having met like once, a decade or two ago, and while Spamton was forever traumatized by the experience (severe coulrophobia, hates anything clown- and carnival-related), Jevil's thoughts on him probably range from not remembering this encounter whatsoever to "OH, HIM, HIM. WHAT A DOUCHE, DOUCHE."
Seeing how Seam also knows who Spamton is (if you give them the Shadow Crystal from Spamton NEO's fight, they'll mention he found it in the NEO body, as opposed to having had it the whole time like Jevil), and Tasque Manager also seems to remember Jevil (she'll comment on if you have any of Jevil's items equipped in her fight), they were probably traveling with their respective ruler(s) on royal business to have crossed paths.
As for the encounter itself, Jevil probably invited Spamton to play a few of his games, in a good-natured, fun-loving clown way, only for Spamton to be a sore loser every time, eventually cheating to win, which for someone as genuinely freaking strong as Jevil (whose only worthy opponent thus far was Seam), is a grievous sin. He may be Mr. Chaos Chaos, but I suppose even he plays games by the rules. It's not his fault if you're just bad at the game.
Honestly thinking about it, this probably hit a little too close to home for Spamton, seeing how his success wasn't truly his own, and only really came about because someone else was feeding him directions over the phone. Did the clown have a point? Did he need to work on himself and improve as a person, so he would be able to claim a win of his own? Hell no, he's just wrong like everyone else who didn't believe in him!
tl;dr: Spamton holds grudges, but Jevil probably forgot.
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Oh God. David Heard There's Room Service In Hell!!
Once again, I am testing my drawing ability by NOT doing any of the MANY illustrations I need, but I would've been sad if I couldn't finish an illustration. And look! I made it! I CAN DRAW! (And collage, obvs not my suitcase or BG, but all Public Domain)!! Well, my stylus needs a new battery, BUT, IN THEORY, I CAN DRAW! It's low res like all my test images, and I don't think I'm gonna put Vivziepop out of business anytime soon, but I'm fond of it.
That's why I'm so sad that it'll NEVER EVER HAPPEN. As a storyteller (albeit an obscure one) let me elucidate...
Strictly in terms of narrative viability, David hails from an incompatible universe. For an Invisible, he's middling. The Compelling Voice he's so fond of seems to be standard-issue, he's just more of an asshole about using it. In Tin Soldier and Soldier On, he's not all that hard to beat. Some people even have a natural immunity! He's only a threat in the first place because nobody knows what he can do.
But the minute he rolls up to the Hazbin Hotel, not only does nobody know what he can do, nobody has that natural immunity, and it would be hard as hell (haha) to beat him with their combat-friendly magic system. David isn't doing that Capcom-esque "freeze the enemy for a few seconds while they're looking at it" hypnosis. He's issuing unbreakable commands. If you're not deaf, the only way to beat him is to forget what he said. And that seems like it would be difficult, if not impossible, for most of the cast. Alastor certainly won't stoop to inflicting head trauma or hypnosis or amnesiac-levels of liquor on himself.
And that MIGHT not be a problem, except as soon as Dave meets Al he's gonna go from zero to nemesis in about three seconds flat. "Hmm, let's see. Neat freak, carefully-curated personality, perma-smile, never a moment's weakness... That's a pathetic little traumatized man-baby and I'm going to pull him out of his shell if I need to use a crab fork!" And, canonically, Alastor is also willing to make enemies that quickly. David has a sense of humour and no sense of self preservation, combat tentacles and veiled threats ain't gonna do it. Round one, David's gonna mop the floor with the Radio Demon.
...And by that, I mean he'd stuff Alastor into one of Niffty's frilliest little outfits and literally make him mop the floor, and even Charlie encouraging him to be a better person wouldn't get him to quit. Also, he'd be ignoring her and bending over backwards to get Angel's attention.
"Oh, listen. The man is over one hundred years old with zero interest in one-night stands or whirlwind romances. Prohibition isn't a thing anymore, drinking and dancing just doesn't cut it. Give him a chance to develop a fetish for something a little bit taboo..."
"I̸̠̤̐̄̄ ̸͕̝͙̌A̸̪̅M̴̭̰̙̎̓ ̶͓̻̐̉L̷̹͕̍I̷̯͗T̷̫̄Ȩ̶̾̋R̴̝̥͒A̷͔̩͋̃̕Ļ̵͗͜L̶̘̈́Y̵͇̓͗̂ ̴̼̪̘͠Ā̷̠̽̆ ̶͍͓̊̉C̷̣͕̺͆̃͝A̵͙̾̅N̶̥̬̮̄N̴̤̯̬̒̉̚I̴̩̜̍B̷͈̪̩̄À̴̝̦L̶̪͂͛͗!̶̟̆"
"That's not a fun night out. It's barely even a meal, what with the garbage they're feeding people these days. I imagine everyone tastes like a fucking 'Cool Ranch Dorito.'" [while making quote marks with both hands] "Isn't he from Louisiana? They invented spicy! Tell me, my deer fellow, is the cross-dressing and domination lighting up any dials?"
"Ì̴̗ ̶̧̫͓͋W̵͜͝Í̸̗͋L̴͔͆̊̌L̴̨̜͚͂ ̸͈̤́Ḱ̵̳̩͜Í̷̘̾L̶̨̫̬̉͋̌Ļ̵̱̗͐͊ ̴̧̣͊̄̈́Y̴̛͖̺͓̓̐O̶̢̦̍̀U̷̠̞͇̎ ̷̨̛̮̭I̷̙̜̽N̸̘̣͙̆ ̵̞͑͝Y̷̰̭̽O̷̟̘̹̓Ủ̶̢̏R̷͉͑̄̀ ̷̧̧̤̎Ŝ̶̱͈̃L̵̰͋Ȅ̸̜̗̙̊̍E̷͇̦̒P̷͈̝̅̆͌.̴̡͈̅͑̓͜"
"My good man, I have unlimited access to drugs and a fun new activity, WHY WOULD I SLEEP? What shall we try next? Do you have any drugs, Angel? Oh, of course you do! Do you think he's more of an upper or a downer person? I think a few muscle relaxants might loosen up that permanent rictus of social anxiety, but God only knows. You must be smoking a crate of cigarettes a day! Do you even brush? Your teeth, I mean. Do you suppose those lovely people at Lourdes make a mouthwash...?"
And Charlie would say, clasping her little hands, "Okay! What if we make some popcorn and talk about our childhood traumas? Yaaaay!"
But David would, inevitably, pass out. Most likely after binging and doing untold damage with Angel. And Alastor would kill him... And that's where we have the biggest fucking plot problem of all. Alastor's go-to method of disposal is tearing people to pieces while broadcasting it on the radio. And it seems like their screaming continues for quite some time, perhaps eternally.
I have expressed this in song form, because I have a weird brain and I couldn't resist.
Wait, wait, nevermind the eternal torment. Can these little hellions hear me?
Test, test, is this thing on? Pardon me, could you quiet down a bit? I have a few things I’d like to… Will you stop screaming? Ugh.
EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND LISTEN RIGHT NOW!
That’s better.
I have a little message for my executive producer.
Well! I say!
Colour me startled, you fulfilled your vow
Think you’ve won? But I’ve barely begun!
I’m always looking for new fans to wow
Can you hear me NOW?
[aside] Will you screamers sing backup if I command it?
Can I get a little harmony?
(We… can’t help ourselves?)
I am eternal, and guess who’s just boosted my signal
So I can reach all of you lovely new people?
(We can’t help ourselves!)
It’s your own Radio Demon!
What was he thinking?
(We can’t help ourselves!)
What was he drinking? Ha!
His dial must be twisted!
Now I’m serenading the damned for my infinite span
All according to plan!
Am I a madman or a genius?
I’m a pianist! Take that, FCC
I’m a wonder, your saviour
Please excuse my rude behaviour, (but the demon sure done fucked up!)
Think he did me a favour?
Silence my vocals? A failure!
I’m louder and I’m certainly braver
So crank the signal to the noise, and enjoy my compelling voice
It’s nice to have all these new toys, (but our deer friend is annoyed)
A Spirit of Radio beats a demon blow for blow
This Invisible is crackling on the air!
Well, one does like to believe
Though you’re stuck, I’m almost free!
That’s what you think!
Your weak signal can’t compare
Though you’ve had a little fun
Your broadcast is done, and it’s time for your payback
I’m in control
Too bad you atomized my soul!
… Not this attention-starved, brandy-addled, overgrown twink
Guilty!
What could be more absurd? A plagiarist bird
Tweety-pie can’t even sing, his theft is pitchy
You call that bitchy?
I’m afraid that’s not entertainment!
You're looking for a new twist? Then let’s remix the arrangement!
Is Al as stiff as he projects?
What sorts of kinks do you suspect?
I’ve seen lacy details with my very eyes!
He lies!
And if I Tiked a Tok or two
Well, there’s nothing he can do!
A V̷̰͖̉̂͝İ̶̙D̵̛̻̮̙͛̕E̴̼̱̕Ŏ̷͆ͅ?̷̗͎̞̏̅!
If I did, you can’t delete it
That's the truth!
When I find you in here, Ÿ̴͕̚Õ̸̠̝̕Ů̵̩̹Ŕ̸͔ ̸̬̋̂̔͜T̸̮̙͌̕Ő̵͔͕̑̄R̵̩̣̅͌̌͜M̷̝̹̾̏Ĕ̶̦͕̟Ň̶̮͊Ṱ̷̲̈̔̈ ̵̡̹̟̑Ẅ̷̝́͝I̷͉͋ͅL̴͎̞̎L̶̯͓͑ ̵̬͐͐͝Ḅ̸͚̬̅Ẹ̴̎̿͠ ̴̻͉̲̐̈́͠N̵̖̟̤͑̽E̴͙͎͘V̸̡͕̦̾̕Ė̵̝͈̀Ŕ̴̺-̸̡̱̇̾̉E̴̠̣̊̐̋Ń̵͔̬̝̑D̴̡̬͙̓İ̴͔͋͊N̸̞̙͐̒Ĝ̷̼̺̐͆.̸̤̭́̐̅.̸̰̓͝.̷̤̬̌
#MaidioDemon is trending!
Y̴̼̿͆O̶̟͇͊̏͜Ǔ̸͈ ̴̨̫͘I̷̡͓̜̍̈́̽N̸̜̩̉̄͝S̵͚͈̭̅̓Ĩ̸̢̯͇͘Ṗ̶̩̭̦I̴̱͑D̷̨͖̚ͅ,̴̥͕̌̈̾ ̸̛̳̈́Ṭ̶̢̠͒Ė̸̱̼̕C̸̙̥̈́H̵͓̠̔̀N̷̖͝Ǒ̶̬Ć̶͔̃͘Ř̶͙͍͠Ä̴̟́̊T̴̳̉̊͜I̶̞̓͝C̵̢̨̲͐̇̎.̵̼̏͋.̷͎̆ͅ.̸̘̜̒
Darling, please, you’re lost in static
One thing’s clear!
You must be wishing that you took the L, you poor deer
Say farewell. I’m very grateful that you gave me Hell
Oh, this will be swell!
[Vivziepop, distantly:] Fuck!
"Stayed Gone" is a patter song and I can't keep up with it as I read it, but I think the lyrical parts scan, at least. A-heh. Please excuse my hubris, but it's doubtful anyone will see this.
Of course, I would never torment someone with arguably GNC-phobic revenge porn, but that guy IS NOT ME. Your only hope for dealing with David is if Vaggie decides he's more of a threat than an amusement and straight up kills him, and that's not a plot, that's a cul-de-sac. So this little not-a-fic is all you'll get from me about this unsustainable situation.
...Alright, I might put Alastor in a maid outfit if anyone cares, but I really should be illustrating. I have precisely 13 to do before I can post more story! Unless I decide to post it anyway!
All apologies to Vivziepop, whom I've name-checked as one of a few creators I'd sell out or saw off my leg to work with. But - although I am tempting fate - prrrobably no one will see this. I'm just doin' a little practice and amusing myself.
Right, Tumblr?
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