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#valintinesday

so 3-5 people asked me to be their valentine…. i said no… to EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!!!!!! the reason is that i wanted to ask 2 people to be my valentine. just in case one said no. i chickened out at the last minute for the first one and the other one wasn’t there. i was so sad but my sister gave me custered (i think thats what is was) and i happily ate it. and my friend gave me an entire box of chocolates because they also chickened out so we share our misery. friend like this are what i need. 

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To my Valentine’s,

The 7 of you made the holiday fun for once. It was fun just driving around with some of you, listening to music and talking.

I think we scared the employees when 8 teenagers walked in to grab 3 pizzas. It was fun getting to argue with Aud about cars and finally get to see Abb’s again. Cec and Soph just kept the rest of us sane through out the night. Z’s cupcakes tasted like ass but we still ate all of them. T picking a good majority of us up because siblings had to have the car for the night, talking and joking as we basically drove through a good majority of town. And Ashe, sweet Ashe you handed me your phone and let me play music on the literal 3 minute drive to the pizza place and kicked Aud into the backseat just so we could talk.

Why do you have to keep getting prettier every time I get to see you?

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This is why I don’t like Valentine’s Day

Not only is it a reminder of what I’ll never achieve in my life. It’s also a reminder of how I was hurt in the past. Even when I was in a relationship with someone I was never enough for them. I’m not trying to say Valentine’s Day is bad it’s just…..hurtful if that makes sense. I remember 3 years ago I was in a relationship with this girl (I won’t say her name for privacy reasons) we were together for almost a year. I loved her with all my heart and I wanted to do anything to make her happy with what little to no money I had. Took her to the movies, asked her to prom, bought her a jacket and had sprayed cologne on it so she could wear it when she missed me. It got to the point where I wanted to marry her. I wanted to be with her no matter what. So after I got out of high school I immediately looked for a full time job. It was a week into this job where it all fell apart. I came home and my mother pulled me into her room and sat me down. She asked me if I had spoken to my gf lately I said no cause she was still in school (we were the same age she was a grade behind me) and she told me to read this text her mom had sent to my mom. It said that she went through her phone and what she found was heartbreaking. She found out that my gf was cheating on me with at least 3 other guys talking about some very nsfw things. My gf’s mom didn’t have the heart to tell me directly. And that’s what I think is sad. Her mother loved me so much she even called me “my future son in law” and that made me happy. But after I read that. I snapped. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, it got to the point where my family was getting scared and it wasn’t till a month after this i got back up. But I was never the same. It’s been 3 years since then and I’ve never been on a date since. It’s one thing for a friend to leave, but it’s a whole different league when your best friend decides to leave you for someone else. If you have a s/o good for you I’m not making this to say not to trust your s/o. I believe it takes a lot of trust to make a relationship. This is just to get this off my chest.

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Once you find that special someone that shows you what love really means please never let them go. I’m very happy to say that I get to spend my Valentine’s Day with my soulmate, the guy I’ve called my best friend for years, and the Loml. Happy love day to you all! 💓💗💕

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