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If it’s one thing that Sam and Tony could agree upon, is Steve becoming the nest president of America. He had a large chance of becoming one after…the whole ordeal with Thanos snapping half of the universe’s population out of existence, but never really thought about it, nor’ wanted such a larger responsibility weighted on his shoulders.

Hell, Steve could just say ‘I just want the best possibility for America,’ and win the whole goddamn election.

S.H.I.E.L.D. was back up and running, and the normal threats were coming at the Avengers and new superheroes [and villains] on the rise, as well as greetings of old ones, there wouldn’t be time to run America in general.

Thor also suggested that if Midgard got to much for him to handle, their would always be a open spot for a king on ‘New Asgard.’

Steve kindly refused and was sure Carol Danvers had already taken that spot besides Valkyrie.

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for venusbarnes 5k challenge!! i’m gonna be doing a bunch of these but i just decided i wanted to write something different than what i usually lean towards for this :)

i also wrote a loki imagine called idoru! very angsty but cute :)

#6:  “what, you didn’t miss me? i’m hurt.”

reader is thor’s rival/fling thing. you’ve fought & battled each other hundreds of times, but nothing can compare to the energy you two have. but you’ve gone a while without seeing him, and he’s honestly relieved he doesn’t have to put up with it anymore - until he sees you again. *reader’s bi cuz she’s that bitch, and kind of like valkyrie*

warning: toxic! (but it’s really not that deep, considering they do b fighting a lot), fight scene!

also: i would listen to THIS playlist while reading this!!! i was listening while writing, made it so enjoyable.

    You were what they called a “wild child.” Graceless, rebellious, brave to the point of stupidity. You were full of rage, a warmonger with no remorse. In your kingdom you were admired for your bravery and physical ability and looked down upon for your “unwomanly” tendencies and your recklessness. You weren’t alone in this though - you had a group of women with you who operated as a team, all of them ostracized because of their resistance to submitting. Together, you were unstoppable.

     There was also Thor. He admired you for your brutal honesty, your unabashedly flirty demeanor, and for your fighting abilities. To him, you were like the lady version of him, only not so lady like, and much less cautious, if that was even possible. You were chaotic and wild in combat, and he knew this first-hand. Thor had been at the mercy of your rage many times, and you had seen the force of Mjolnir much too close for comfort. Sometimes you fought for a reason, other times you fought just because you felt like it. For as long as you could remember, Thor had always been your otherworldly enemy… rival was a better word for it.

     But perhaps the best part of your rivalry, besides the satisfaction of beating down the god of Thunder on the times you did win your battles (because, really, you did beat him sometimes, and it felt good), was the flirtatious nature that lay within it. You couldn’t doubt that sparks flew when you and the god were together, even when fighting you found yourselves closer to each other than necessary. And outside of a fight, your titillating banter was enough to make heads turn– tongues soaked with whiskey, hot breath against the other’s neck, narrowed eyes matched with rosy lipped smirks that said: “you really wanna do this right now?”, sarcastic and degrading humor. It was all a part of the program. Thor rotated women on a weekly basis, as did you with the women and men back on your kingdom, but the relationship he had with you was different.

    No one challenged him like you did, no one was snarky like you were - women joked about Thor submitting to them, but none of them had the power to actually manifest that, other than yourself. He liked that he wasn’t exactly intimidated by you, but that you made your worth and your ability rather clear. He knew you weren’t “easy” in a fight, and you wouldn’t back down. For a while, you steered clear of Thor while you got your own life together. And for that while, it was quiet… too quiet. You were glad to be given a reason to stir things up again. And boy, was Thor in for a surprise.

    You smeared black liner on your waterline (stolen from a Walgreens on Midgard - you liked their makeup more, it was low quality and gave you a cheap, uncouth look that you cherished - not like makeup on your planet, which made you look exactly like what you were… a warrior goddess), and looked in the mirror. Well, what remained of the mirror after you had smashed it. You held a piece of broken glass in your hands and leaned in towards it, your reflection wonky and distorted. You were sitting in your dim-lit, unfurnished (purposefully) bedroom with your friends - the warrior women who you considered your sisters.

    “Thor’s in for a lovely surprise today,” you sang in monotone, applying more dark pencil liner below your waterline. You quickly rubbed a dark purple lip on and puckered up, raising your eyebrows at yourself in the mirror.

     Mira shook her head playfully and sighed,

    “Honestly, YN, I’ve known you for years and it still strikes me how crazy you are.”

    “Thor’s a player, anyway. We know how he is with women… do you really need to fight him?” another one of your sisters, Amina questioned.

     You turned around, huffing defiantly and gripping your sword at your side,

    “Look, it isn’t about that. I don’t care if Thor wants to bang a fucking dwarf, and with his streak, he probably has. It’s about respect. I don’t go around flirting with Loki. How dare he invade our honor and try to pick up one of my sisters! It’s nothing personal, Lydia, honestly. I think Odinson just forgotten the boundaries.”

     Lydia, one of your sisters, the “victim” of Thor’s heavy flirting, who had resisted because there was an unspoken but obviously clear rule that Thor was not to ever try to play with one of your sisters, for the purpose of respect. You didn’t want him to see your sisters as easy targets or see them as the various women he went through every day of the week. You had all agreed on such a rule, so it wasn’t like you were just bossing everyone around. And as for your flirtationship with Thor, that was different. Thor knew better - he knew you could handle him just as well as he could handle you. And for the most part, you were in control.

   Lydia shrugged, continuing her crotchet pattern - she helped make outfits for all of you. You all vowed to be self sufficient. She didn’t seem to mind the situation much,

    “Listen. I say go for it. It’s been a while. Shake things up again.”

You smiled, glad someone understood you,

    “Thank you, Lydia. Right then, I’m off. See you after I ravage him.”

| | |

    Back at Asgard, Thor was living his best life. He was breezing through the days, lounging on his throne with multiple women around him daily, feeding on grapes they hung above his lips, getting drunk every night, all while performing his kingly duties. He had let go of the tension you caused him- while he enjoyed his encounters with you, it gave him a lot of unconscious stress to be constantly thinking of when you might next attack. But it had been a while since you last arrived to stress him out, and so he relaxed, and he forgot about you, just a bit.

    But that was before you decided to pop back in again, stomping into the golden room where you saw Thor sitting with one leg up on the throne, women chattering to him and leaning on him, fawning over him. The sight would’ve made you sick if you weren’t already so preoccupied with your rage. You paused in front of the stairway to the throne.

    “ODINSON!!!” you let out a roar that let him know you were here, because he was so distracted by the presence of the women. He almost jumped, and his heart sank when he saw you - weeks of tension returned to his body.

    “Oh shit,” he said under his breath, and you smirked, folding your arms and cocking your head at him.

     "What, you didn’t miss me? I’m hurt,“ you gave him a faux pout and then you were back to teasing, your eyes squinted and your lips turned up into a devious smile.

Thor groaned loudly, banging his fists on the arms of his throne. The women surrounding him began to scatter.

    "Why are you here!” he roared.

    “No,” you raised your voice at him, “the question is, why are you trying to seduce my sisters? Hm?”

Thor’s face went taut and you could see the guilt all over his face. He understood your agreement, and he knew there would be consequences for breaking this agreement. He just didn’t think about it until now. You folded his arms, leaning forward,

    “You thought I wouldn’t hear about that, did you?”

    “YN, I-” he began stuttering, and nothing coming out of his mouth was making any sense.

     "Yeah, go head and shut the fuck up for me,“ you cut him off, your tone final - you’d had enough of his bullshit. Thor’s lips shut closed immediately. "Gods, you asshole. We had an agreement! Did we not?”

    Thor found this the perfect time to take a dig at you, a knowing smirk playing at his lips as he straightened up in the throne,

    “Sounds awful personal, YN, I mean, it really seems like you took this to heart.” You folded your arms annoyedly, already anticipating what he was insinuating. He licked his lips and pulled his lips underneath his teeth. “Jealous much? Are you jealous, YN?”

You didn’t answer, just gave him that death stare that told him you weren’t here to chit chat right now. He sighed deeply and held his arm out, reaching his hand out into the air,

     "Yup, I got it.“

Mjolnir came flashing by and into his hands, and immediately you lunged forth, jumping all the way to the top of the stairs and in front of him on the throne, the two of you clashing. You held your spear out, but Thor blocked it with his hand and knocked it down with his hammer. You scoffed, looking down at your damaged spear on the ground and laughing,

    "That the best you got, king?”

That lit a fire in Thor like no other - not only was it a major turn on for you to call him king, even if it was within an act of defiance, but the mockery was enough to make him black out. He swung his hammer at you and you ducked, bouncing back up just in time to kick him in the face and send him flying backwards, knocking his hammer out of his hand and on the floor away from him.

     "Oh, I do love this!“ Loki quipped excitedly as he walked past, and you greeted him joyously - where you and Thor were rivals, you and Loki were twin flames. Thor found your relationship annoying. Every once in a while you’d come to Asgard just to hang out with Loki, scrapbooking and being unusually domestic. He almost wished for a fight when he saw you and Loki hanging out and wreaking havoc.

     "Hey, Loki!” you turned to wave at him, and then got right back to business, pouncing forward like a cat and landing on top of Thor - specifically on top of his lap. You chuckled viciously and held his chin in your hand, lifting it up and wrapping your hand gently around his throat. Neither of you could ignore the erotic nature of your violence. You licked your upper lip like a hungry wolf. “Where’s your hammer now, casanova?”

    Thor reached out and Mjolnir was right at his service again.

    “Right here, darling.”

A spark of lightning flew out and struck you, sending you flying and laying feet ahead of him on your back, coughing from the impact of the fall. Now Thor stood above you, his height both menacing and alluring, towering over you. Cockily, he blew the tip of his hammer.

    “Anything else?”

    “Yeah,” you mumbled, a bit dazed from your fall. “Stop trying to slobber on my sisters!” you kicked your legs up directly at his crotch, and he stumbled back, falling onto the floor in a sitting position, his knees bent towards himself. 


     You grinned victoriously, and picked yourself right up, walking towards him and assuming the same position you had been in before, lowering yourself slowly down onto his lap, one leg on either side of him, the same narrowed, cheeky look in your eyes as before. Thor gazed up at you, in a daze only you could pull out of him, raised eyebrows and glazed over amazement in his eyes and all.      

    “Tap out,” you demanded, folding your arms over your chest in such a way that diverted Thor’s attention to your body.

    “You know I can’t pay attention when you’re on top of me like that,” Thor sighed, his voice low and husky. You fought a grin off your face, but couldn’t hide it completely, your voice steady and methodical,

    “I know.”

Thor tapped the ground beside him to insinuate he was done, forfeiting - it happened often that you or Thor tapped out, considering your fights weren’t all that serious and were sort of like a game you liked to play. You made a move to get off of him, but he pulled you down by your waist, making you stay.

     "No, stay here,“ he whined, and you laughed, throwing your head back.

     "You’ll stop hitting on my sisters, then?” you inquired, raising a suspicious brow.

     "Not if it means this is what will happen,“ Thor shrugged. "Really though, you never answered my question.” You raised your brow, waiting. “Are you jealous?”

You snorted, though you didn’t feel the need to lie,

    “Perhaps a little bit of wants you all to myself,” you batted your lashes at him and ran your hand along his chest. He gripped your waist harder, a determined look settling on his face,

    “I as well.”

You shook your head playfully.

     "Oh, Odinson.“ You leaned forward to place your lips upon his, and he craned his head up so your lips could meet. But you pulled away, just enough so your lips were barely brushing against each others, then gently pushed his chest down, making him lower his head onto the floor again, your lips still hovering above his. You granted him a teasing smile, a knowing look in your eyes as you stared him down. "One day,” you said, and vanished, teleporting away from him and back to your own kingdom.

One day!

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SEALs April Fool's
Blackbeard: Castellano.
Valkyrie: Jenson.
Blackbeard: Do you remember the Hell Week?
Valkyrie: How can I forget? You were the one who gave me a lesson of a life time.
Blackbeard: You're not holding a grudge on that, are you?
Valkyrie: No. Thanks to you, I didn't know I could do that many push ups with a full grown adult sitting on top of me.
Blackbeard: Hey! Showed that you're pretty strong.
Valkyrie: Get to the point.
Blackbeard: This is an age old tradition, but I'd like you to lead the Hell Week this time.
Valkyrie: Really?
Blackbeard: Yup. Here's the list of operators who are interested in tasting a little bit of SEAls. Myself included.
Valkyrie: You aren't doing this as an April Fool's joke, are you?
Blackbeard: Not at all. You don't see me joking around.
Valkyrie: You better not take your words back.
Blackbeard: Oh boy.
Valkyrie: Come on! Show me those sweat patches under your armpits!
Blitz: (Wearing bright pink tutu and skin tight rainbow pants.) This is a really great exercise! I'm not sure about these gears, but wow they are good at ventilating my sweat out.
Blackbeard: (His plastic wings are fluttering, cheap sparkles dispersing as he continues to move vigourously.) Yeah. It's a real work out.
Wamai: (Moving strands of pink wig outta his face. His chests are bouncing with shake-shift shell bra. Pants are shimmery scales that reminds you of The Rainbow Fish.) This is a little... different than how I thought it would be.
Valkyrie: Time to dip into the mud!
Blackbeard: No, not again. It's bad for my beard.
Valkyrie: (Pushes him into the pool of chocolate milk.) Get onto it. Chop chop! Find the worms but use your mouth. Get on it!
Sledge: (You can see his bald head shining beneath the red, curly wig. His blue dress is already ripped from shoulders due to raging biceps.) Yes ma'am!
Blackbeard: Castellano, this is ridiculous.
Valkyrie: Shut it, princess! I need to see your royal ass down, pronto!
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For Asgard! : Klaus x Valkyrie

⚠️: Smut

Klaus is rifling through some antiques in Reginald’s study when he comes upon a strange object, a golden geometric sculpture with interlocking shapes like pieces of a puzzle. Klaus immediately thinks of pawning it for cash, but then he hears something. At first he thinks he’s imagining it, but the object is humming. He picks it up and attempts to rearrange the pieces, but it won’t budge.

“Where’s the goddamn off button?,” he mumbles to himself. He struggles with it a bit more before giving up and throwing it against the wall. It comes to rest on the floor and produces a clicking sound before going silent. Assuming he must have broken it, he stoops to pick it up. Then a bright beam of refracted light comes streaming out of a small hole in the top. The light is so intense it makes him shut his eyes tight.

When Klaus opens his eyes the study is gone and he is standing on an open road by the sea. A pickup truck swerves to avoid him. It’s not unlike the time a mysterious stolen suitcase transported Klaus into the Vietnam war. Fortunately, this time his destination is a peaceful fishing port. The sign reads ‘New Asgard’ and in the distance he spies a pub. “Eh, what the fuck,” he says to himself. Klaus lights a cigarette, shoves the puzzle device into his pocket, and marches into town.

The bar is full of fishermen, drinking and chatting amongst themselves. No one even blinks at Klaus as he saunters up to the bar. He orders whisky then rotates himself 360 degrees on the barstool to take in his new surroundings.

He observes the woman resting on her elbows at the other end of the bar looks like she could kick his ass, which was exactly Klaus’ type when it comes to women. And she is gorgeous. Her thick utilitarian clothing and dour expression can’t hide it.

“The sea was plentiful today, your majesty.” A robust bearded man hails her as he collects his drinks from the bar.

“Aye, Harek. I’ll drink to that!,” the woman smiles and lifts her beer stein, then goes back to her beverage. Klaus leans in, his mind full of questions.

“Excuse me, barkeep? Where am I?”

“New Asgard.”

“Well, yes, that was on the sign, but…What year is it? What is today’s date.”

“Are you alright, my friend?”

“Just tell me.” Klaus insists.

“Tuesday, May 10th, 2023…and it’s just about noon.”

“Oh, boy,” Klaus’ eyes grow bigger as he fishes around in his coat pocket for payment.

“I’ve got this one, Bjorn. Put it on my tab.” It is the beautiful woman from the end of the bar. She looks Klaus over, commenting with a soft, ambiguous grunt.

“Many thanks for the drink, your majesty.” Klaus opens his coat like a dress and curtsies.

Valkyrie stifles a chuckle. “You can skip the formalities. That’s just Harek, he’s stuck in the old traditions. I am Brunhilde, last Valkyrie of Asgard, and king of New Asgard, but you can call me Val. What’s your name, stranger?”

“I am Klaus, 4th son of Hargreeves and irresistible bad boy at your service.” He winks. “If I may, why is the monarch of a small country drinking in a pub at noon on a Tuesday?”

“No, you may not,” she snorts. “But today is your lucky day because I’m bored and this ale makes me chatty.” Klaus moves to the empty stool next to hers and rests his chin in his hand, ready for Val to spill the tea. “I was part of a squadron of fighters, the Valkyrie, defenders of Asgard, but I am the last. My sisters in arms were slaughtered in battle including the one I loved. Her voice trails off for a moment as she stares off into the distance. “Then Asgard was destroyed.”

“Moon exploded by a telekinetic?” Klaus offers a guess.

Val furrows her brow at him. “Fire giant. The people of this town are the survivors of genocide and I am their leader. THAT is why I drink. What’s your story, Klaus?”

“I grew up in a family with superpowers and I’ve got the worst one. I communicate with the dead, and yes, that’s just as much fun as it sounds! I was kidnapped by assassins and tortured, escaped back in time to the Vietnam war where I fell in love with a soldier who died in my arms. Then my siblings and I tried to stop the apocalypse and failed. We’ve traveled back in time…let me see…six times now? We always manage to fuck it up. That’s why I drink.”

Valkyrie tips back the last of her ale and slams the empty stein on the bar, then holds up two fingers. “Shots for me and this miserable bastard!” The shots arrive and Valkyrie clinks her glass with Klaus.’

“Have I started to grow on you?,” he asks, making the shot disappear down his throat.

“The jury’s still out,” she replies, following suit.

Klaus stands up and walks over to the juke box. “Hey, you got a quarter?”

Valkyrie tosses him the coin. He snatches it out of the air with precision that surprises them both. He makes a selection, then comes shimmying back to the opening chords of ‘Immigrant Song.’ Valkyrie smiles. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Klaus shakes his head “iiieeeaaaaahhhh!,” he sings along, pleading with her to join him on the dance floor. She obliges, reluctantly at first, moving to the music, enchanted by Klaus’ goofy charm. The song fades. Something slower begins to play. Valkyrie captures Klaus by the collar and pulls him in close. Her rich brown eyes search his green ones.

“I’d like to take you home and….,“she reaches down and wraps her hand firmly around the bulge in his pants. He shudders in anticipation. Valkyrie tosses some money on the bar and heads for the door, pulling Klaus behind her.

“Don’t wait up,” he announces to no one in particular.

Valkyrie takes Klaus back to her modest cottage not far from the rocky shore. They stand at the foot of her bed. She removes her vest, then starts working on his belt.

“Your majest- um, Val?…I love the fisherman gear: puffy vest, rubber boots, cable knit sweater…it’s hot, but I was wondering if you had anything tighter…perhaps made of leather?” He bites his finger, anxiously awaiting her response.

Valkyrie narrows her eyes at him. “Alright, pretty boy, but be careful what you wish for.” She disappears into the closet and emerges wearing her armor. Klaus’ jaw drops.

“Does this excite you?” She rips open his shirt to feel his heart.

His breath catches in his throat. “Y-you didn’t mention it had a cape!”

Val kisses his neck and whispers sensuously in his ear, “I also have a pegasus.”

“Oh dear god.” His eyes fall shut and his head rolls back.

“Enough talk.” She rips off the rest of his clothes. “Down on the bed.”

Klaus lays down facing her. He watches her lustful eyes roving his body’s topography, but then her expression snaps back to one of severity. “Roll over,” she says. His face lights up. He rolls onto his stomach with his face in the pillow. Val slaps his tight little ass. “Mmm…,” Klaus relishes the sting. Val soothes his sensitive pink cheek with a caress. Klaus lifts his pelvis up to make room for his stiffened cock.

Val reaches under the bed for one of her toys. This one has Klaus’ name on it. She turns it on. Klaus immediately recognizes that sound. He perks up and practically wiggles with excitement. She glides the toy over his ass. His skin has goosebumps. She pauses to put a bit of lube on the tip then she uses it to stimulate his tight little hole. “Oh!,” he shudders at the sensation. “Are you ready for me, pretty boy?”

“Yes.” He is breathless. The waiting is so hard. She slowly inserts the toy. Klaus whimpers and groans until she is fully inside him. She increases the vibration. “Ah,”. Klaus pushes back against her hand. She pulls him by the hair so she can see his face while she fucks him. His face is twisted in pleasure and pain, only seconds from release. She turns off the toy, takes it out. “Don’t you come until I tell you to.” She scolds. “Only good boys get to come.”

“Oh, I promise to be a good boy. I do.”

She pulls off her armor and lies back with her head resting high on a stack of pillows. “Shut up and satisfy me with that pretty mouth.”

“It would be my pleasure, your majesty…For Asgard!.” He dives between her legs to devour her. His tongue glides over her clit, back and forth. His lips wrap around her most sensitive flesh to suckle her throbbing bundle of nerves. He sinks two fingers inside her. She moans, grabbing the back of his head. He takes the encouragement and focuses his movements. She comes in spectacular fashion, crying out and squeezing his head between her muscular thighs. He rises with traces of her essence on his chin. “Was I a good boy?”

“A very good boy.” She flips him over on his back and takes his cock in her hand. She pumps it a few times until it is fully erect. Her other hand slides over his smooth chest up to his neck. She looks into his eyes to gage his reaction. He whimpers and bites his lip, his sparkling green eyes pleading. Her fingers wrap tighter around his throat, squeezing with light pressure. Then she straddles him, sliding her slick pussy over the tip of his cock. He groans and bucks his pelvis. “Not yet, pretty boy. It’s sweeter if you suffer.”

She kisses him, drawing his bottom lip into her mouth and biting it gently. Then she rakes her teeth over his nipple. First one and then the other.

Klaus’ eyes roll back in his head. “Fuck,” he rasps.

Her hand grips tighter around his throat and the other rests against his chest as she lowers herself onto his cock. She bucks forward, slowly at first then picks up speed, her little tits bouncing as she rides. Klaus is in ecstasy, looking up at her in awe. Her brown skin glistens with the sweat of her labor. She leans into her climax, moaning and spasming with her eyes shut tight. When she regains control, she can see that Klaus is about to come, so she climbs off and grabs his wet cock. “Now, pretty boy. I want to watch you come.” She pumps him until he gushes over her hand and makes a mess of himself.

Her whole demeanor changes. She kisses him tenderly then runs off to the bathroom, returning with a warm damp hand towel and a dry one. He smiles up at her, cleaning himself off. She smiles back. “Looks like we manage rather well together, don’t we?”

“You are a goddess.”

Valkyrie laughs.

“What? What did I say?”

“Do remember us when you go back, will you?” She sits next to him nuzzling his ear.

“That’s the thing. I don’t know how to get back. In fact, I’m not a hundred percent sure how I got here.”

“You had the power all along. Just click your heels together three times. Haha! ‘There’s no place like home.’”

“How can you be so cavalier? I might be stuck here!”

“Klaus, don’t be ridiculous!” She gets up, reaches into his coat, and tosses him the puzzle device.

“You’re going to have to show me how this thing works.”

“Might want to put your clothes on first.”

Master list

@elliethesuperfruitlover @miraclesoflove @bitch4bagels @bi-satanist @punknatch @ringpopdust @valkyries-for-valhalla @dandycandy75 @vinawyatt

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