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#vanya headcanons
itstheghostofmypast · 2 years
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Music To My Ears
Five x Talkative Wife
Note: Okay, so I've had this idea for a long time, basically a HC of what it would be like if Five (when he comes back to 2019) brings along his wife who is also his partner from the commission- who is super talkative, especially when she's nervous.
Five x FemReader
Gif Credit to rightful owner
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The first time he had seen Y/N, he simply wanted to kill her. Not only did she give away his hiding spot from the enemy but she would not STOP TALKING.
"Hi! I'm Y/N, I don't really have a last name, but it's an honour to meet you Mr.Five Sir. You're a lege-"
"Shhh!"
"It's alright they won't hear us!"
"Woman, please I don't need a partner, especially not one as annoying as Klaus!"
"Whose Klaus?"
"Tch no one-"
"HEY THEY'RE OVER THERE"
"SHIT"
And on that same mission Five got shot in the leg, which she kept apologising for over and over again, until he had to verbally say 'IT'S FINE PLEASE, JUST STOP TALKING I NEED TO THINK!'
Slowly, verrry slowly, she began to grow on him, killing wasn't his most favourite part of the job, and everytime she began talking nonsense he could tell she wasn't a fan of it either.
It didn't take him long to figure out that she would ramble on for hours a day when she was scared, nervous or just tired, especially on gruesome missions.
Yes, she would not stop talking even when she was drained. At one point he wondered if Delores thought he spoke a lot too. Until she ended up changing the topic of conversation around 5 times in 1 hour- no, this lady was a crackhead.
It was almost a year in their partnership and the Handler was pleased with their work. For Five was already a legend, he learnt that other than the useless chatter, the girl was a great assassin- quick, slick and brutal.
On one occasion, when Five was cornered and exhausted, he thought he was toast, almost ready to give up. He heard, "NOONE CORNERS MY PARTNER!" And gun shots.
They were all shot in the head
"Execution style?"
"Actually, I was super mad at you when you told me to stay at the motel because I'm very annoying and noisy. Like I get I can't be Delores but please I am my own person! I don't need to be someone else for you to accept me and hey! I am a great assassin by the way! Sure I talk a lot but before your rude a** came along I was running the show punk and-"
"Thank you Y/N, you saved my life today."
And that leaves her speechless, a whole year of knowing him, he had never thanked her, let alone ever spoken to her softly.
He smiles at her and hobbled to the car muttering a , 'You don't have to be Delores, you're better of as you.'
And that was the first mistake the boy made, because after that he began to notice more things about her that he liked.
The way she would ever so politely talk to people. How she was able to get intel by being nice- instead of using the interrogation methods he used.
More than often things would flow smoothly if she would do the talking.
3 years in and he wakes up one night, to get water and realises that she's not on the other bed. So he checks the washroom and she isn't their too.
Grabbing a bathrobe he goes out to the motel parking and finds her sitting on a bench, the cold night breeze tossing her hair around as she grips onto her cup- tea he presumes.
So, like any sane person he decides to give her some privacy, until he hears her sniff.
He goes and sits beside her and is just:
'Wanna talk?"
"No"
"NO?!?!?"
And she shakes her head, so he doesn't encourage her to speak, instead sits their quietly beside her, letting her cry silently.
An hour later he realises her head is on his shoulder and she mutters,
"When you go back, will you leave me?"
"I don't know..."
"Can I come with you?"
"You? But, I'm no fun nor a party goer, darlin' . I'll probably end up being an a** to you-"
"Would an a** have sat with me in the middle of a chilly night outside, letting me cry?"
And for once in his life Five had no answer. The resident genius had no clue to why her words had brought a sensation of tightness around his chest, why he felt her words cut through him. Was he actually going to leave her? If there was anyone (after Delores) who understood him, or rather had the balls to stand up to him, it was her. Yet, he had never realised how vulnerable she was on the inside.
That night ignites a fire within him, because 2 months later, on a mission in Hawaii, where the two are standing in a field of dead bodies he turns to her. All bloody and messy,
"Hey!"
"yes?"
"NOW GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER, YOU GOT IT?"
Utterly confused, she nods at the weirdo who looked like he was about to explode.
"MARRY ME?"
"Sure."
"I SAID A STRAIGHT ANSWER NOT A LONG EXPLANATION YOU - wait what?"
"I said, yes, Five Hargreeves, I'd like to spend whatever days I have left with an a** like you."
Cue the most abrupt and small wedding and exchanging of vows. Not that it mattered to either of them, because as soon as their 'secret wedding' was over, they were sent on another mission.
Naturally, she was rambling along the entire way,
"I really thought we could have cake though, but I guess we did have to keep it low key, oh speaking of low-key, I booked us a fancy couple's room I had been saving money for
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"
"What's with the face"
"You know~"
"Okay, I officially married Klaus."
"but, but, but you love me either way~"
"Seems to be so, now please stay quiet, we're entering their base and the last thing I want is to lose my wife on the second day of my marriage."
"WAIT WHAT"
"SHHH!"
Give or take many years later, the couple in their fifties is staring at the blue portal. Holding hands, both nervous, one quiet while the other...
"THIS BETTER WORK FIVE, I BETTER NOT END UP BEING TELEPORTED TO THE 1500's I AM TELLING YOU! WAIT! I DONT EVEN KNOW THE NAMES OF YOUR SIBLINGS, OTHER THAN VANYA AND KLAUS -"
"SILENCE WOMAN, ON THE COUNT OF THREE WE JUMP. 1 ...2-"
"3 I WIN"
And she pulls him into the portal as he yells at her.
The two end up on the ground with a loud thud.
Getting up he pulls her up and is just staring at her, up and down.
"Really Five, not a good time to be checking me out- wait why are you a child"
"shit."
"does anyone see a little number Five with ...a random girl?"
Without responding he drags her into the kitchen, the siblings following in right after. Watching him make her sit on a chair at the end of the table while he is preparing something.
Slowly they start interrogating him.
"It's been 22 years Number Five, where have you been?'
"It's been a lot longer than that."
"What happened to you?"
He places a sandwich infront of her and starts to devour his own.
"What do you think happened? I decided to test the limits of my time jumping, see how far I could go. Turns out, pretty far."
"Then how did you get back?"
By now, Y/N is visibly shaking in her chair, too nervous to even eat, staring up at Five who seems to be having a a not to pleasant conversation with his siblings.
Before responding to Allison he turns to look at her,his features softening, something ALL the siblings notice, "It's okay..." He whispers to her, "Eat."
"By projecting our consciousness backwards into a suspended quantum state version of us that exists in every possible instance of time."
"That makes no sense."
"It would if you were smarter."
"Granted, it did take me a little time to work out all the nuts and bolts of it."
Five notices that she's still not eating and he frowns only to glare at his siblings, "Stop staring at her you're freaking her out."
"US? YOU BROUGHT A RANDOM KID HERE FIVE"
"Random kid?" She slams down her sandwich. As Five smirks, 'well, at least she's better now'.
"I AM NO RANDOM KID, IM HIS WIFE. And by the way HE ISNT CRAZY- other than THIS MAN IN A NICE SKIRT I DONT SEE ANYONE WHO ONCE ASKED HIM HOW HE WAS? OR IF HE WAS OKAY? OR IF HE WAS ALONE!"
"Oh? danke- WAIT WIFE? Five DID U KIDNAP HER @?!"
"No, we're in our fifties."
"WHAT"
"Yes, now well that's established, Five we should really hurry up. Also, why don't any of you look similar? Didn't your dad die today? Wait, are you all here for a funeral - you guys have been fighting ever since you showed up huh? Not a lot of love I see, no wonder my husband's a little crackhead too. By the way, why are you so big? Oh- *turns to Vanya* you're the lady from the book, nice book by the way, family tea is the best, not that I'd know, I have no recollection of mine-" with that she got up and randomly walked out of the kitchen, a nervous wreck, something only Five could see.
"Five is she insane?"
"Ofcourse not you big ape."
They could still hear her go on about something from the other side of the house to which Diego frowned, "She talks a lot."
Five just grabbed his sandwich, walking out of the room, with a
"It's music to my ears."
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Note: OKAY SO THIS IS KINDA SHITTY? I don't know I just had to get it out of my system!, I hope y'all like it😭🥺❤️
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cardinalcheerio · 5 months
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So, I'm writting a five fanfic, and come across the need to search up Dolores' name meaning.
It means "lady of sorrows" I am unwell.
It makes so much sense, I'm crying rn.
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rubber-ducksss · 2 years
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I have a strong headcanon that all of the umbrella academy kids legal first names are their numbers because in the first episode Diego says grace named them but it shows later that grace didn’t come around till they were 4 or so. It’s the most confusing dmv trip for whenever the get their licenses.
Luther thought he would never change his number because he’s too proud of being the first, but now he’s reconsidering.
Diego would want to change it but that stuff is expensive and he lives in a boiler room, he’s definitely is saving up.
Allison has it on her to-do list but it just keeps getting pushed back to another day whenever something comes up.
Klaus tried with some credit card he stole but he didn’t have have any of his documents to do so and he was rejected.
Five has no reason.
Ben died and Klaus couldn’t figure out how to change a dead man’s name.
Victor did change it to Vanya but now has to change it again.
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p0m3gr4netel0v3 · 2 years
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𝗗𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲
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꒰♡꒱...The umbrella academy x reader
꒰♡꒱...the umbrella academy when you have a nightmare
꒰♡꒱...warning(s) : talk about nightmares, like one cussword.
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Five hargreeves✧˖*°࿐
Has absolutely no idea what to do.
Just hugs you akwardly ands lets you cry and talk about it if you want to.
Lots and lots of reassurance that none of it was real and it was just a dream.
" its okay, love it was just dream i promise "
klaus hargreeves✧˖*°࿐
Used to get nightmares as a kid because of ghosts so he completely understands.
He'll hold you to him tightly and whisper sweet nothings into your ear while playing with your hair
He's absolutely all ears if you wanna talk to him about it
kisses galore!! Will kiss your forhead, your nose, your cheek, literary every were.
Viktor hargreeves✧˖*°࿐
literary such a sweetheart:(
He'd be so understanding, and gentle
Would get you anything that you need, hell he'd even go to the store to get you some snacks if thats what you wanted
Holds you extra tightly, just to make sure you know he's there
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laundrybear-cloud9 · 9 months
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vanya/viktor hargreeves headcanon
when they were younger, they'd spend so much time searching and searching for proof that they did indeed have power, just that nobody knew what it was
'rare superpowers'
'invisible superpowers'
'uncommon superpowers'
'how to prove you have superpowers'
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kirbyxdesu · 2 years
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Some things I'm 99.9% sure happened in the Hargreeves household growing up (keeping this one lighthearted):
Klaus compulsively snuck in stray/wild animals. Mainly raccoons and stray cats. The others actually helped him hide them as long as possible since Reginald wouldn't let them have pets— even Luther was in on it.
Ben and Klaus had sleepovers... A lot. Mainly because of their nightmares but also just because of their dynamic. Ben would read Klaus stories, Klaus would recount whatever crazy things he could come up with.
Diego was a complete and utter delinquent. He had a rebellious streak in him. The huffing paint mentioned in season 3? Licking batteries in season 1? Yeah, all Diego. I'm not sure if Klaus corrupted Diego or if Diego created a monster in Klaus, but the boys totally fed off of each other and were menaces.
Related, but Diego DID corrupt Ben. Klaus just accepted that Ben was a goody two shoes, but Diego? Nah, he dared him to do things. Pulled the mischief out of him.
Allison rumored fun things for all of them a LOT. Pogo babysitting was no match for kids who wanted candy and junk food.
The kids all hung out in Luther's room in downtime, playing records and venting about training sessions.
Five's best friends were Ben and Viktor because they were the most intellectual but also the ones who Reginald resented the most. Close second was Klaus— but Five could only handle Klaus in doses, while he could spend hours at a time with Ben and Viktor. They'd have midnight snacks, talking books and philosophy.
Allison and Klaus pierced Luther's ears once. He cried like a baby.
The first Hargreeves child to commit a crime? Five. He space jumped into a candy store.
I know Viktor's coming out was monumental, but I imagine Klaus's being just as terrifying, if not more. But I also think it was super obvious to the siblings. Like, this poor boy was ridiculed all the time already, that he was terrified of things getting worse. But his siblings were extremely chill. After the whole, heel walking/falling dobocle, he finally sucked it up and told them. And it was one of the most monumental moments growing up because it was one of the first times they all truly supported him. Allison was especially supportive and let him try on her clothes and gave him makeovers.
Grace got them all bunny slippers one year for Christmas and all, literally ALL, of the kids were obsessed.
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rusty-clock · 2 years
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I just saw a tweet where Diego's actor said that "Diego doesn't bowl" and now all I can think about is Diego hating bowling and his siblings throwing up a bowling themed birthday party for him.
The party is held in a bowling alley. Klaus is dressed up as a giant bowling jack. The only thing they do is bowling. They give Diego a bowling jacket and bowling shoes as presents. The cake is shaped like a bowling ball.
Next year Luther gets a moon-themed birthday
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socially-reluctant · 3 months
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my designs for Mantis' parents (his mom and bio dad)
Their names are Xhekaj and Vanya, they are both psychic to a degree (Mantis inherits his powers from both of them, except the pyrokinesis which is something unique to him)
Xhekaj is a punk (punk culture started up in the late 60s early 70s) and Vanya is the flower child, witchy type
They were childhood friends turned lovers, only to have Vanya's parents disapprove of Xhekaj due to his involvement in punk counterculture. Regardless, they would fool around and sleep together multiple times. Xhekaj offered to run away with her, to make a new life on their own.
Vanya refused to disappoint her parents, so she was married off to the man that would raise her and Xhekaj's child (Mantis) while Xhekaj was forced into testing and eventually became the founding member of the KGB's psychic division.
Xhekaj would later defect and end up on Mother Base in the 80s, and (unknowingly) meet the son he never knew he had.
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playhousemassacrez · 8 months
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Vanny Evolution
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-Pre Help Wanted-
Vanya “Vanessa” Anton, the descendant to the Anton family from my other AU, “Welcome to Callie’s”, has one interesting backstory. Her parents neglected her for years, so she always got into trouble as a child.
Until she became suddenly pregnant when she turned 16, which caused her parents to freak the fuck out and kicked their daughter out. Enter Gregory, but Vanya has to give him up cuz she was too young to take care of a child, so Gregory was taken to the orphanage, and she never saw him again.
Years later, Vanya gets hired by the company who did the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Virtual Reality game (it could be Fazbear Entertainment or some other company idk). As she was hired, she meets another woman who looks just like her named Vanessa (they have the same names and look the same. That’s what happens when Scott reuses names like Michael and Jeremy so). Luckily, the two have something in common; bad parents, bad childhood and they liked Freddy’s when they were kids (Vanny liked Bonnie and Vanessa liked Freddy). She even met Luis, Vanessa’s crush, Lottie (AKA Tape Girl), the daughter of Mayor Laura Emerson and Vanessa’s younger sister, Valerie.
However, when Vanny tested the game for the first time after Jeremy Fitzgerald cut his face (he still lived thank God), something inside her made her feel strange....
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-Post Help Wanted-
(Ignore the brown eyebrows I didn’t know they were both white)
After meeting William (AKA Glitchtrap cuz fuck Canon), Vanya doesn’t feel like herself anymore (She either develops a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation or I’m just headcanoned her to be like Vanessa from Nightcove the Fox’s Vanessa: Into Madness movie). She went from being totally calm and happy to depressed and miserable. Her depression hikes up to 11 when Evil Elizabeth shows up.
However, despite this, Vanya still wants to show her master that she’s more than his daughter, but no matter what, Elizabeth was always number one. It was time to prove him wrong. Or so she thought....
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-Security Breach/Ruin-
After the grand opening of Freddy Fazbear’s Mega PizzaPlex, Vanya- oops, I meant Vanny, breaks into the PizzaPlex and hacks into the database which causes Vanessa to get hired by Fazbear Entertainment to work at the PizzaPlex for night shifts. Afton gives her a mission to help Evil Elizabeth lure kids and take their remnant (still a confusing concept I get it) to make Afton “become whole again” (kind of like the Prototype from Poppy Playtime but not really). Once she sets her eyes on Gregory, she couldn’t bear to kill him cuz she noticed that Gregory was her baby that she gave up all those years ago, so she decided to let him leave him alone and lie to her master about it.
However, Vanny tries her best not to hurt her own child but due to Afton affecting her so much, she becomes the Vanny we know and love (oh don’t worry, she and Vanessa have much more screen time here). Thankfully, Gregory frees Vanya and M.X.E.S finally kills Afton for good.
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-Post Ruin-
After the events of Ruin, Vanya reunited with Gregory and the two becomes whole again. Valerie and Roxanne help her dye her hair, so she doesn’t look like Vanessa and Frederic (Glam Freddy) asks her out on a date, which she accepts.
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madeofstardust17 · 2 years
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I need to know something. The fact that they all knew the lyrics to I've had the Time of my Life means they've all seen Dirty Dancing at some point in their lives.
Now I want to know, did they all watch it at some point in their childhood together? Or did they all watch it in their adulthood separately?
Bc either way I love the situation, but the fact that they did not need lyrics means that they've watched the fucking movie enough times to have it memorized.
Now I'm just imagining seven 12 year olds in front of a TV, all of them transfixed by the video of Patrick Swayze moving his hips and generally being the sexiest man alive
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acerdime · 2 years
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Tiny Umbrella Academy Theatre AU 🎭
🗣Allison - Star Actress - career actress
👻Klaus - Minor Role of Comedic Relief & also Costume Design - funny, dramatic, & fashionable af
🎻Viktor - Orchestra - passion for violin
📚Ben - Writer - always has a book & is super thoughtful & responsible
🔪Diego - Stage Combat Choreographer - loves fighting & his power’s knives
💪Luther - Stage Hand - carries heavy set pieces & boxes
🧳Five - Treasurer/Logistics - loves math, bossy, ruthlessly efficient
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sadistpet · 6 months
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headcanon // about volgin.
raikov adores volgin. loves him so, so terribly much. there is an element of craftiness in just how much he sucks up to his superior, for he relishes in the attention and the benefits and the easy life that's given to him.
yet he does love volgin. truly, madly, deeply. he's good at playing things up, not dumbing things down ( unless it's himself ) and that's evident in just how much he cares for the colonel. never does he lie about the extent in which he loves yevgeny, and oh, does he love. he hangs on every word that comes from his mouth, waits with bated breath every time he moves. his heart and his face burn every time he can get a smile, or even a laugh, from his darling. ivan is one of obsession, of neediness. he's constantly hanging around his lover, whether obediently following along at his side, or quite literally hanging off his arm like a lovestruck high schooler, and any time spent away from each other makes him want to be sick more than any amount of gorging. as silly as it sounds, the thunderbolt-emblazoned thong that clings to his soft hips is almost a comforting reminder of his beloved's ownership, his presence, his love.
it's somewhat evident in just how clean his skin is. tatyana, scarred and bruised, and ivan, always appearing porcelain and perfect no matter the roughhousing.
and on the topic of tatyana, ivan cannot stop himself bubbling with jealousy at the mention of her. if he had it his way, why, he would be the only lover of the colonel. he's aware of just how unreasonable a request it is, and besides, he's not exactly exclusive himself. but it's a secret dream of his, hidden deep and stifled and only bleeding through the cracks of his pretty façade when he lets his envy boil for far too long.
he's inconsolable after volgin's presumed death. near drowns himself in his own tears, almost dehydrates when his eyes run dry, screams his throat raw and rips out his silken snow curls in wispy handfuls. he can't even bring himself to fight back when he's finally brought to justice for all his abuses of power, when he's left to rot in some jail cell in the back of beyond, at the mercy of those he'd once treated as prey in his little sadistic games.
what would be the point ? nothing would bring his zhenya back, and that's all he wants.
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moku-youbi · 2 years
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I actually had a thought of a cool alternate timeline fic, where Vanya and Klaus come along with Five when he time travels. She was so worried about him that she was leaving those sandwiches for ages, and leaving the lights on. It would make sense that she would be looking for him. We don't know how long those first couple of jumps of his were, but we do know they took place within a few yards of the front door of their house. And Klaus is bored without his fellow loud mouth trouble maker gone. (I also feel that if I'm going to be true to the characters, Ben would probably be there, too, but four of them would get unwieldy, and also he might be too afraid of Reginald to break the rules...)
Maybe Vanya could have heard from the street vendors or neighbors that they saw Five months later. So she takes to hanging out out front around dinner time. Klaus hangs out with her because he goes outside to smoke all the time anyway, and it's better than being in the house, and it's funny pissing off Dad. Also, if Five and Vanya are going to run away, you better fucking believe he is, too. Vanya explains they're just going to get Five to come home safely, but Klaus thinks going home is for quitters.
So on Five's second jump, right before his jump to the Apocalypse, they're there all bundled up in their winter coats. And Vanya's trying to get him to come home, but Five's all high on his success and is like "I did it, you guys have to see this!" and grabs their hands.
Of course, we know even adult Five has trouble with his calculations, especially when others are involved. Where would they end up? Obviously the apocalypse wouldn't have happened since Vanya wasn't in the timeline anymore. Maybe they still end up some time in 2019, but their siblings are all scattered to the wind, and they don't know where to find them, and they're definitely not going back to their dad. (Maybe Ben isn't dead, because things fell apart way sooner with 3 siblings already gone so early. Maybe Reginald is still dead for some reason? Maybe the apocalypse still happened, just in a different way because the 3 of them being gone set something else into motion??) So they stick together, using their powers to get by without being noticed, and enjoying freedom from Reginald.
Vanya's powers would start to show up soon without her medication. I think Five would be a good person to help her learn to control her powers as he is highly intelligent, methodical, and scientifically-minded like their father, but he actually cares about Vanya's well-being and happiness. And the two of them wouldn't let Klaus just go off the deep-end, and would help him figure out how to control his powers, too, so we see the BAMF-y stuff Seance is capable of. And since Vanya and Klaus are much closer with each other, and supportive of each other, maybe Klaus helps Vanya understand about expressing gender and being yourself way earlier and transitions to Viktor.
(And also there is Klive, but I can't help that's my otp. Go ahead and throw Viktor in there, too, if you want! I'm all about codependent thruples.)
So at some point the 3 of them return to their timeline or just catch up with their adult siblings, and it's like "Oh, look, FIve and our two useless siblings." Except then Klaus and Viktor are way more fucking powerful than them, now.
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aintitfierce · 7 months
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vanya absolutely, 100% Believed with his entire tiny body that if he ate the wolf's tail he'd be able to just cough up a new longer one for him five seconds later btw. there's no real precedent for him to think that. it just made sense to him in the moment
how they were going to Attach it after that didn't occur to either one of them tbh
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pherre · 2 years
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after the war hawkeye gets one of those fancy purebreed cats and names it after charles
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vullcanica · 11 months
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Vanya is the proud foster of what she assumes are three 'hell hounds'. They're neither hound nor dog in shape naturally, but it's the closest descriptor she's found for them among miscellany worldwide myths. She sticks to it for preternatural conformity's sake. In truth they're odd creatures, frequently of a quadruped canid form (though vague and shifting, uncategorizable within known scientific species) and indubitably drawn to death and decay. Carrion scavengers, precursively aware of where tragedy may strike and food may soon be found.
They're decidedly not Vanya's pets. She comes across them while embroiled in a gruesome murder investigation and exploits their instinct to discover other victims buried in the same plot of land. They tolerate her following their trail at first. Then grow savvy to the advantages of following hers - namely, the endless supply of human roadkill a woman of her species in her line of work produces comes across.
They most often take a forms adjacent to three particularly large 'Borzoi', thin and lean in shape, and impossibly fast. They do not bark.
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