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nightmarearian · 2 years

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Headcannon from this (Cyrus & Volkner are siblings) and a need to vent made this. So anyways. shitty parents, as per.

Volk is the younger brother. They’re both emotionally repressed but Volk can’t basically smother it all out like Cyrus so yeah I'd say they're around the 12-15 age range? That sort of feeling for their age. idk tho so-

Cyrus finally tuned in to the muffled shouting coming from outside his room.

“DENZI!" His father faint voice yelled, sounding annoyed. "DENZI!”

Cyrus let out a light sigh before standing up and heading outside his room.

His younger brother, Volkner (Denzi, as their parents had named him), had problems with focusing on certain subjects, not to mention actually finishing things.

Their parents’ “parenting” didn’t help.

They were generally harsh on both of them: One main goal being keeping a good image, being rich and all. All that entailed was not... the best, per se, especially with how Volkner was. It caused more shouting than before.

Of course, all in all, it just made both of them emotionally repressed, mutedly stressed, and eternally depressed.

Otherwise, the two adults usually couldn’t give any less of a shit about them.

Cyrus quietly closed the door and walked through the mansion; the yelling got louder as they neared the stairs. Their spine and neck automatically straightened as they stepped into the potential sight of their father.

Their father stood at the middle-connecting part of the split stars, muttering something before going back to shouting.

“DENZI! YOU LAZY BRAT! GET OUT OF WHEREVER YOU’RE HIDING OR I SWEAR-“ He cut himself off when he saw Cyrus. “Akagi! Go find your stupid brother from wherever he’s hiding! We have a dinner party in half an hour!”

With that the man walked down the stairs, muttering something. Cyrus only caught ‘ungrateful fucking brat’ before walking completely out of earshot and sight.

With a sigh, they walked toward Volkner’s room and knocked on the open door (Volkner never kept his door open.) as they entered.

The room had a simple layout and even more simple decor.

The entry door was in the corner of the room, the bed being pushed against the opposite corner. Horizontal to where the entry door was a desk, a computer a large monitor sitting atop of it, a few papers and pencils scattered about. There was a dresser shoved next to it, in the corner, and adjacent to the bed.

Between the bed and the dresser was a door leading to the bathroom, slightly open; Across the other side of the bed, or diagonally opposite to the dresser was a door to a closet that Volkner used for storage, fully open. (Their father must’ve searched through here then.)

There were few boxes of binders, folders, notebooks, etc. though there was a hidden box of a few trinkets, small machines, and extra tools.

They both loved to play around with machines, though both agreed it was better to do it in Cyrus’ room, or more accurately, their hidden crawl space room.

They sighed quietly again as they shut the door, asking a soft “Volkner?” after a heartbeat.

It echoed a little bit in the room, before Cyrus caught some quiet shuffling, and a small “Cy?” was whispered.

Realizing where his younger brother was, they walked up to the bed and kneeled down, looking under it.

Sure enough, there was their brother, pressed up against the corner made by the end of the bed and the wall.

He had his hands crossed, hugging himself, and had his legs up in a tight fetal position. He had his signature blue jacket (a bit too big for him), a simple black shirt, and dark blue slacks.

His blond hair spread across the dusty carpet floor, and his face held dried tear tracks, two falling out of his eyes after a second. Volkner let out a fast sob, labored breathing speeding up before calming down again, just as quickly.

“You want me to come over? Or d’you want to come out from there?” Cyrus lightly asked.

Volkner shook his head in a frantic no for a second, legs shifting further in.

"Alright," they said, keeping the same soft tone. They layed down, faing Volkner. "Did father yell at you?"

His head tilted in a 'sort of' answer.

"Both of them?"

Volkner nodded.

"Was it about school?"

A off-key hum said yes.

"Are you angry?"

His head shook no.

"Scared?"

A nod.

"How long are you going to stay there? 30 minutes?"

No.

"D'you want to come out?"

No.

"There's a dinner party we're going to in half an hour." Volkner started shaking his head in a no, pushing himself against the corner more. "We'll probably stay there until late night. Your friend could come over. Or you to him, whichever."

Volkner stopped, looking up at them, confused. He didn't want Cyrus to have to deal with that alone! They both hated interacting with most people, especially with the rich, double-meaning, entitled type that came to those parties.

Cyrus supposed they had a soft spot for Volkner. The one person who could consistently get their conditioned poker face off. Bright (innocent.) blue eyes that (had) stared up at them when getting something right, or discovering something with one of Cyrus' machines. Approval that they never got from their parents. They may hate the snobby rich sevipers that came to these types of dinner parties...

...But, so did Volkner. He was definitely not in any sort of mentality to deal with them or their parents. Besides, Cyrus had a few years more worth with this, being the older sibling.

Volkner's friend was also good for him. Cyrus couldn't remember the name of him right now, but he had a distinctive red afro and was also loud. Volkner was more relaxed and controlled with him, and focused & finished work.

"I happened to not find you, whatever. This house is big and they don't care for us." Cyrus said.

Volkner opened his mouth to argue, but a sob and the uneven breathing cut him off before getting to the second word.

"You have your phone, right? I'll text you when we're coming back." Cyrus said over Volkner's fast breathing, which was quickly calming down again. "You're not coming out from there or this room with them in the house, anyways."

Volkner looked angry, not wanting Cyrus to only deal with it, but couldn't argue, since his crying stopped him from speaking properly. (And their points were accurate... Hanging out with Flint for a while after that would be nice, too.)

"Do you want a hug?" Volkner stared at Cyrus for a beat, before moving out from under the bed, some of his legs being the only thing under. Cyrus had sat up by then, Volkner following suit and hugging Cyrus' middle. They put their hands on the younger's back, lightly patting it before softly rocking them back and forth.

Volkner cried again, this time into Cyrus' shirt, sobs muffled. They stroked a hand through his hair. They sat there for a while, Cyrus eventually talking.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No"

Cyrus whispered out an okay, and they sat there for another minute before Volkner sat up, wiping some tears off once they reached his chin.

Cyrus sent a quick glance to the entry door before helping Volkner up, walking towards the bathroom. They quickly fixed their clothing, Volkner wiping away more tears as Cyrus fixed his hair.

Volkner's breathing calmed down, before he took out his phone, checking the time. It had been around 20 minutes since Cyrus had found Volkner, which meant they had around 10 minutes before they needed to leave.

"You're okay?"

Volkner hummed a yes, his breathing stuttering right after as leftover.

"..." Cyrus stared at him for a moment, before quickly pressing his lips to the other's forehead, then hugging him just as quickly. "I'll text you once we've left. You'll hide until then, then go to your friend's?"

Volkner let out another hum while nodding.

"Love you," Whispered Cyrus, almost non-audible.

Volkner whispered back at the same sound level, "Love you too."

Cyrus lightly ruffled his head, before walking out. They looked back at Volkner as they quietly closed the door. They speed walked towards their room, autopilot taking over as they changed.

They couldn't help but worry, though they couldn't see anything more to do. (So much suffering, in this world.)

They barely registered the "conversation" with their parents, more of Cyrus just stating they couldn't find "Denzi" and then some yelling from the opposing party.

Once they were five minutes away, sitting in the backseat of the car they sent a text to his younger brother. (Nothing too descriptive. Just affirmation of something another person[s] wouldn't know about.)

The little "Delivered" under their message changed to "Read".

Cyrus stared at it for a minute before pocketing their phone, zoning out to the window as they turned to "Akagi", little worries ticking in the back of their head.

yeah. yeah that's it.

soguesswhomayormaynothavespend4hourshiding&cryingundertheirbedhaha anyways-

we need more talk about ignition(shipping) & the parallels between Cyrus & Volkner, tho.

Might make a second fic to this, Flint or Volkner's pov when Volkner goes over. oh also a Galatic Commander Volkner (Venus? Mercury?) au this is coming so with that outta the way byeeeeeeeeeeeee

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incorrect-magnus · 3 years

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Jon: Sometimes I think I was born with a leak. And any goodness inside of me I started with slowly spilled out of me until it's all gone and I'll never get it back

#the magnus archives #tma #podcast #incorrect #quotes #Jonathan Sims #vauge depression tw #source: BoJack Horseman

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tropicana-on-the-walkway · 3 years

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The worst reality checks are always from your mom. Moms be like "Youre never going to be happy with what you do get, because you always want more." Like yes I'm a black hole of a person im aware of that. Its cute you figured it out though.

#Vent.#Time to vauge blog about my mom again #She's alright i just don't like it when shes right about me #uhhh #Depression tw #Idk I'm just kind of here

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emo-and-confused · 3 years

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2020 might suck, but honestly the school year of 2012-2013 was a lot worse for me.

because i don’t remember it.

cause trauma.

(but then again, i don’t remember anything that happens from first through fourth grade)

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cutewarmachine · 6 years

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Depressed||Open Starter|| Grayson

Gray didn’t know why, but out of fucking nowhere he felt like he was drowning. He wanted to cry, he wanted to be forgotten, he just wanted it all to stop bashing at him, it was making him cold, so so cold. He wanted it to just stop. He’d do anything... anything. He had ran outside as soon as he could, all his weapons left in his house as the slow influx of words began to bash at his skull, it was driving him insane.

When he found himself in the middle of a park, alone and left with his thoughts, he screamed. The sound loud and ringing as he fought and thrashed against the invisible strings that were begging him to do things he wouldn’t stoop so low as to do again. Once he finally gave up he fell to his knees, the sounds of his muffled sobs hanging in the air.

Maybe next time he’d remember to take his meds at lunch.

#«come play» open starter #tw: depression #tw: vauge referenced selfharm

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fieldofbeans · 6 years

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Just sad

"Quiet [can be] violent", so please! don't sit in silence. It's ok, you're not alone, your "sins" need no to be atoned. Because your feelings are valid, so why don't you put on a ballad, and allow your tears to flow. As much as we abhor to live, let me at least try to give a helping hand to wipe your tears and stand together... and make the most of the time we have. Depression is an ongoing battle A personal hassle Yet familiar like your own shadow. I strongly believe that death is the only relief but that doesn't mean that my life will be full of grief. I am learning there is a lot to love No need to huff and shove, Just wait for me patiently while I struggle with complacency from the comfort I receive from the dark.

For all who have passed I am secretly jealous... because at last Peace has finally come within your grasp. And fans, friends, and family, get a glimpse of the reality, the insanity, of a "fake disease" that is plaguing humanity. If you know someone who is suffering be kind, be gentle, be comforting. Because it's true, there will be nothing you can do But know that it is okay, to be helpless some days For empathy shines the brightest in the gloom.

You can change someone’s life, by acknowledging their strife You may not understand But don’t worry, it’s not all bad because, really, it’s okay to be just sad.

#i... originally wrote this for a FB post that was supposed to be vauge #i'm still not comfortable sharing on there that i am struggling with depression #but then i just kept going #and i'm not really confident enough to post this on there #maybe one day #but for now #it will live here #i usually hate writing #and i can't words #but here is a word vomit #i hope it helps or speaks to someone #depression #tw: sucide mention #poetry #sadness

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oblvvicn · 4 years

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𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲?

okay okay,,, so i’m chester,,,, fan aesthetic hoe,, pro pineapple on pizza, and my laptop sounds like it’s trying to take off into space every time i open photoshop- that doesn’t mean it’s not open 24/7 these days!! anyway, here’s my depressed whore, arthur tldr below, and then a link to his full bio at the end - lot’s of tws though so if you want me to tldr tHAT for you feel free to slide into my dms or just slide into them to plot discord : basic bitch richard papen™#2911

𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭

name: Arthur Charles Meyers age: 43 gender & pronouns: Cis Male, He/Him occupation: English Professor at Wade Senior Highschool label: Consigned To Oblivion arrived in wade: About week ago

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲

tw infidelity,

- born to a name that he lost long ago, arthur has never been himself, and he finds it so easy to discard his past and find himself as a new person whenever things are going south - that’s how he finds himself in wade - back at home he’s a journalist under a different name, and he’s told his wife he’s on an extended business trip, he does this often. but it’s not often he gets a job in another town, so he knows it’s only a matter of time before he throws out his other phone and stops contact with them - he took off his wedding ring the night he started driving - he’ll never for the life of him talk about himself, or his past- and if he does you can probably count on it not being true. he normally keeps vauge all the same though. studied english lit, parent’s were religious, maybe he is now,,, you know, real surface level things. - in saying that, will sit at the bar and drink with you for hours and listen to you talk about yourself because really it means they don’t have to sit alone with their own thoughts and what’s a more ideal situation here - still crashing in the motel, bitch go rent a place - rocked up with the clothes on his back- has since got +1 shirt, bITCH go buy more clothes,, you’re in it for the long haul

anyway, anyway i’m bad at these sorry, here’s some more links if you want

. 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲 . 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 .

biography tw, infidelity, abuse, suicide, death, abandonment, homophobia,

#middle:intro #for all of yall who wanted to definition of why it's consigned to oblivion #i'll be doing another edit tomorrow that'll go into detail of that #bUT it's all here for you #enjOY

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marmaladejones13 · 7 years

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or alternatively

#Vent comic #vent art #okay to reblog i guess #dissociation #death #tw:death #tw: depressing thoughts #i kind of like my other comic idea #in place of vauge posting or going to friends for help just draw it XD

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kritt-kat · 1 year

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LOVE SPELLS

#depression #depressing poem #TW #heartbroken #vauge posting #valentine #help me #help my sanity #i think it is a poem #i wrote dis #i wrote a poem #love

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truly-arelic · 7 years

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Depression hits hard if you've been pretty good for awhile

#vauge post #tw depressive #depression #implied depression

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dreamquix · 6 years

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The Callout Post Of My Abuser From Like, March

I feel like I held this in for longer than I should have.

Alright, I know this will cause more drama, but I feel like I am left with no other choice.

It was either discussing why I'm sad about more recent stuff in discord DMs with mags or discussing this situation publicly, and mags is offline so its this.

I feel like I can't just make vauge vents about this any longer

TW: Verbal abuse, depression, self-harm and mentions of suicide attempts. If you're uncomfortable with this stuff, then either skip to the TL;DR or don’t click the read more link

So, as some of you may know, my username online used to be tiglilly-chan, however, there was a reason besides just auntiemags calling me out on my bullshit and me wanting to start over to be the reason I moved accounts.

You see, back when I used tiglilly-chan, I got myself into a lot of drama. Like, a lot. Its actually the reason I hate myself so damn much.

One of those people I got into drama with was a youtuber named sn0wy.

Back in around july or so, (I thought) I had a crush on him, and this was around the time he hit 5k, and via his 5k livestream, I joined his discord server.

Big mistake.

As, again, you all know, I had trouble expressing my love towards people normally and healthily, so of course, me being the fucking attention-seeking cunt I was back then, acted strange around him. Of course, him and his discord server called me out on my bullshit, and again, I was a fucking bitchy ass cunt back then, so I didn't listen.

I didn't fucking listen.

Then, the protomac drama happened.

Now, this is where the verbal abuse part of the warning at the start of this post begins, so be warned. Also, since this all happened on the tiglilly-chan discord account, and that account has been deleted ever since I moved accounts, that means I can't really provide screenshots of what they said specifically. Sorry about that.

Everything got worse from there, and all the things his discord server said to me almost all bordered on the line of out-right cyberbullying and, well, verbal abuse. Sn0wy himself even joined in on it all.

Now, since my memory is shit, I can't remember specifically what they said, but one things for sure:

The word "baby" just brings back unwanted memories now after this whole mess.

Also, did I mention him and his discord raided my fucking discord server because they """"wanted to teach me a lesson"""" AND I had at least 4 panic attacks due to seeing him in either my old discord server, him in my twitter TL AND just the memory of him? Yeah, I know.

Now, I'm not a fucking idiot, I know I did fucked up shit back then too, but honestly, this was also pretty fucked up.

But then again, fucked up people deserve fucked up things happening to them.

Its only fair for them to feel the pain the people they hurt felt.

Which is why a little while after this mess and both the Tomatogatcha and auntiemags mess, I started cutting myself (I don't anymore btw, so don't worry. And besides, my cuts faded out to the point where they're unnoticeable now, so there's that.) and hell, I even tried drowning and/or stabbing myself multiple times. In fact, I tried to drown myself in the shower today 3 times in a row.

During this time, quite literally the only reason I haven't really killed myself yet was because of auntiemags (Now its just the people I give a shit about in general that are the reason I'm still here)

I just wanna say that even after this mess, I'm trying to become a better person, because as I mentioned before, I also did fucked up shit, but honestly, I'm tired of him just popping up in my mind and making me more depressed then I already was. I'm tired of living with the fact that I was a fucking shitty ass cunt who deserved every last bit of this. I'm tired of knowing that almost nobody will believe me just because he's popular. I'm tired of this shit in general.

Now, do what you want with this information, fuck, you can even make a fucking sequel to the whole #MeToo movement if you really want to because of this, but please, for the love of every god ever, don't attack sn0wy over this. Thats not what I want at all. In fact, all I really want with this post is to just get all this shit off of my chest, as its been all I could really think about for the past few months, and its really making my mental health deteriorate more than it already has been.

TL;DR: Sn0wy and his discord server make a creepy fucking 12 year old bitch suicidal and depressed because she deserves it.

Thank you for reading this god awful long thing.

Bye.

- Chloe/Dreamquix

#sn0wy #tw: self half #tw: sucide mention #tw self loathing #vent #i mean i guess its kind of a vent #discord #drama #tw verbal abuse #tw vent

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