#vax is the best at this but these stories were missed and I just had to

[saphirered]

a winter's ball with vax'ildan, maybe? only if you have time

When I read this one, I immediately got inspired. Hope it turned out well! 😘

Wining and dining was never really his style. Vax’ildan prefers the shadows over the shimmer and shine of these ostentatious events. It’s a thing he could do without but with Vox Machina’s rise in reputation so came obligations. It’s not every day the Sovereign invites you and your friends to attend some posh party and while he might want to forget, his sister and her boyfriend-he means friend- have not neglected to remind him this is not something he can get out of. At least there’ll be an open bar and as long as he sticks with the likes of Scanlan and Grog, he’s in for an eventful night to be sure. Even if everyone has been threatened urged to be on their best behaviour, he is used at being a shadow in the crowds. He’ll be fine. It’ll be hell but he’ll be fine. So here he stands dressed in his best, listening to the chatter and whining of the nobility of Tal’dorei. Plenty of gossip and slander and he has to admit his fingers do twitch when he sees some of the blatantly disregarded riches people put on display. It’s like they want to be robbed. Wait… That man was wearing three rings just a second ago. There’s two now. He searches the crowd. Nothing out of the ordinary. At least to the untrained eye. He recognises a pattern of movement, someone making their way across the room, to be as far away from the scene of the crime as possible, not like the rich prick will notice the ring missing in the first place but better safe than sorry he supposes. Whoever you are, you’re good. Just not good enough. And since Grog’s been cut off from the open bar and Scanlan has already has found some privacy, it’s not like he’s got anything better to do. 

On your trail, he realises he was incorrect when he assumed you were getting away from the crime scene. Instead you are making a clean sweep, mingling with groups, inserting yourself into conversation. He’d have lost you completely had he not seen you change you appearance behind a pillar. He almost did lose you several times but there’s something distinct in your behaviour, a tell that he knows all too well, and one he’s guilt of himself. Though, when he gets close enough, your voice, it sounds familiar. He can’t quite place it. He gets closer but doesn’t quite join the same conversation you’d slid into. He listens to you, watches your every movement. You’d taken on the appearance of a tiefling, horns and orange eyes and all. Attire displayed more Marquisian. You lay it on thick, flattery, compliments, charms and don’t neglect the occasional flirt to really sell it. 

“My my, that ring of yours, it is a gorgeous piece!” You gasp as one of the ladies not so subtilely brushes the rubies around her neck. Obviously she was looking for a way to insert the ostentatious diamonds into this conversation and was failing. That faint glint in your eye right before you spoke, the one that’s akin to focussing on a target, that’s your tell. Everyone has one after all. 

“It ought to be. It was a gift from J’mon Sa Ord themself!” The lady already stretches her arm out towards you, to give you a look up close. Vax watches as you daintily reach out to take the woman’s hand and let the ring hit the light perfectly. 

“Such a high honour, my lady. A gift befitting a queen one could say. You simply must share the story behind it.” As she retracts her hand what the woman does not notice; you unclasped one of the bracelets on her arm, let it drop into your palm, the one that clasped under her hand, and sweep it away as she goes into the extensive story, having all those around oohing and aaahing. In the mean time you grow quieter and quieter until the focus is entirely away from you. You bend out, and make for the nearest alcove. Vax watches you brush along your clothes and then let your hands fall to your sides, bracelet nowhere to be seen. That’s when he decides to make his move. 

A job well done. You got plenty of loot from your little scavenger hunt, no one any the wiser. Tonight was a fruitful night. Who knew the desperate for attention and admiration were still granted plus one to such an event with a tight invite list. Just your luck you make a good actor and have no obligations to sweet-talking yourself into this spot. Such a shame though, the event is so large with so many attendants, it’s easy to get lost and lose sight of your escort. It’s unlikely you’ll meet again, or rather, your escort will meet you again. You’d not be so stupid to wear your own face on such an adventure. Nothing a little magic couldn’t fix. Not all deals made are bad ones and you surely reaped the benefits of this one. Time to leave. Stay close to the dance floor, make it to the balcony and off you go. It’s like stealing candy from a very rich baby. Another change of face; a half elf this time, with a tiered ruffle skirt. It seemed suitable, and just slightly big enough to keep at bay some of the suitors waiting for a dance partner of their choosing. You turn down the others, claiming exhaustion, already being spoken for, and so on. 

“Would you like to dance?” Your breath catches. You know that voice, and seeing the half-elf to your side, you are not mistaken. Shock must have spread across your face but you recover quickly. He looks as handsome as you last saw him, though the outfit is not very him. Vax. Your heart aches 

“I’m afraid my dance card is full, good sir.” You reply and sound a little more breezy than you intended. You have to get out. This is no place for a confrontation. Vax only takes one look at you and knows every single instinct on the verge of kicking in, so instead he simply takes your arm and pulls you into the ongoing dance. It’s a good thing you’re both quick on your feet or you might have sprawled across the floor unable to avoid the other couples in their routines. You want to say something, protest or just get out but He’s guided you along to a place where doing that inconspicuous would be very difficult, even for you. Bastard. You put on a smile and play the part of a whimsical lady who belongs here. 

“What brings you here, Miss?” You want to snort at his all too innocent question and playing into your act. He’s learned quite well. Then again, he always had charm, though, his sister will always be the more persuasive one. 

“Oh, I’m here with the Lord Waters. My uncle was kind enough to send me along to familiarise myself with the court here! And you, good sir? What brings you to this marvellous event?” You want to gag. You feel his hand burning against the small of your back, know he can feel through the illusion, feel the dagger you’ve got holstered there. His fingers of the other hand have clasped with yours, the fingerless gloves must have been a nice surprise as opposed to the dainty satin it appears to be. 

“Me and my companions were invited.” Damn it. You should have taken a better peak at that guest list when you had the chance. Of course Vox Machina would be in attendance. You’d have made better efforts to avoid them. Not that you’re not enjoying this encounter. In an odd way it feels good to be here, back in Vax’ arms. You’ve got plenty of memories like these. Though few include being in a palace like this. It feels good even if you’ve been made and should probably make an effort to get out now. 

You must be very important then. Excuse me for not knowing-“ You keep playing the game and Vax almost starts doubting himself. Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe he missed you in the crowd and is confusing you for this innocent half-elf but then you cast your eyes to the closest balcony. It’ll only be a matter of time before you’ll pass it and he wonders if you plan on making your escape then, slide away without another word. 

“Vox Machina. Heroes of Tal’dorei some say, though it’s a bit pretentious if you ask me.” He speaks earnestly. And then your window of opportunity approaches. 

“I’m afraid my feet have grown quite tired. It was lovely dancing with you, Hero of Tal’dorei.” You make to push away from him and he lets you go. What you don’t notice is that he’s just as good as you and in your distraction of getting away, you miss him removing that dagger from your belt. Your head’s turned when he swiftly slides it up his sleeve and follows after you, through the crowd. 

You break for the balcony, moving through the crowd gently until you reach the doors and slide through unnoticed. There’s no one else. It’s freezing cold after all. Big change from the warm interior and leaves you shivering just a little as your body adjusts. You look around the ledge; bushes below lead into the gardens. A drainpipe goes down to one side but looks rather shaky. Though his balcony is supported by pillars and happen to have decent foothold, even if a layer of frost covers the ground below. You’ll have to be careful still but you could not call yourself a master thief if you were thwarted by some ice. You pick a nice spot and sit on the railing, reach for your- it’s gone. You frantically look around, as if it might have dropped on the stone here somewhere. Then the door opens and through slides that damned half-elf, holding your dagger between his fingers. 

“Looking for this?” Cocky as you know him to be when successfully stealing something. “You can drop the act now.” You roll your eyes as you jump back to your feet and meet him in the middle of the balcony. He lets you take the dagger without a fuss and you quickly put it back in its sheath dropping your disguise. He wasn’t prepared. Vax didn’t think you’d actually drop your disguise, that he’d be facing you now. With your urgency to get out he had assumed you might have been running from your past, from him but you’re not. You’re standing here and don’t make a dive for your escape. You cross your arms. 

“You’re a bastard, and you know it.” You snicker. Despite the freezing cold the sound warms him from the inside. It’s been far too long since he’s heard that sound, heard you. You take another step closer. Your breath shows upon the cold air as you look him in the eyes. You tilt your head slightly, lips parting and begin to lean in. You bring a hand to his chest, let the other brush along his cheek, along his pointed ear until you guide his face to yours, as if you’re going to kiss him. But then he feels a pull and his hair falls free out of the tie he’d been persuaded to keep it in. You step back laughing and lift yourself onto the balcony ledge. He crosses the distance as you play with the tie. 

“Is it really that easy?” He laughs at your antics. It’s like you never parted, like not a moment has passed since your last goodbye even though it has been years. He was a scavenging thief with an annoying sister back then. He’s an adventurer now, still with an annoying sister though. You were a runner for a local guild. What have you become? You bear no seal, now sigil and you seem wholly unburdened. You wink at him. 

“It can be.” You swing your legs over, and stand on the small ridge. You quickly peck his lips and leave the half-elf in shock, short of a response. “Pick a place. Tomorrow. Lunch. My treat.” You play with a gold necklace between your fingers but before you’re about to jump off the shock has vanished and Vax feels in control of himself once more. He cups your cheeks. 

“I’ve missed you.” He breathes as his brain is trying to wrap his head around all of this. You’re here. You actually want to see him and as it looks like now you’ve no objections to picking up where things left off. What in the world is happening? 

“Missed you too.” Genuine words. Gently he presses his lips to yours, awaiting any response of objection but you move them against his, wrap your arms around his neck and deepens the kiss. The cold breeze cuts at his skin, his fancy clothes doing little to keep it at bay as opposed to your attire, clearly suitable for the weather and your objective for the evening, though he cares little when he holds onto you, when he feels your fingers brush against his skin and spark a fire to keep him warm, however short-lived this kiss may be. He pulls away, reminded you are on a job and he’d be a terrible partner in crime if he did not look out for you. Your hum in disappointment almost makes him forget about that. 

“There’ll be a guard patrol coming in two minutes. You’ll want to be past the fountains by then. The roses to the right will give enough cover.” Vax gives you the run down and you nod. With a final peck you push off the ledge and he runs to the edge to see you grab onto the pillar, and slide down. When he does he feels something in his breast pocket. It’s the gold bracelet. You blow him a kiss when you hit the ground before you turn on your heels and make a sprint for the roses quite a ways a way. You’re lucky you’re fast. With a longing sigh he watches you go. Lunch it is. 

#critical role x reader #vax’ildan x reader #vax x reader #vox machina x reader #legend of vox machina #tlovm x reader #vax'ildan #critical role fanfiction #critical role fanfic #critical role #vox machina

[utilitycaster]

@couldhavebeenevelyn replied to your post “Do you think the new book announcement makes it...”:

True, Laudna having a novelization does feel different. With Vex and Vax’s, the audience could easily tell how they felt about their childhood and father from their characterizations. And Lucien’s made sense, since he and Mollymauk were different people and we knew a bit of his motives but not much beyond the basics about his group in Shady Creek Run. With Laudna, however, we got a muddy view in how she views Delilah and how others call her a witch. Does she hate it, revel in it? Not sure

​

Yeah, I think the best way to put it is like this. I actually haven’t read Kith and Kin despite my love of Vex (and enjoyment of Vax) because that’s just not the story of the twins that interests me - Laura and Liam conveyed who they were and why beautifully in the campaign, and so I don’t feel a need to know a specific story of their younger years (or rather - if it had been a comic I would have read that, but I don’t need a couple hundred pages). I loved the Fjord and Yasha origins comics (which are the Nein comics that had significant new information; Jester, Veth, and Caleb’s comics were great but mostly covered what we already knew with a few extra details) but I love them specifically because they slot neatly into the empty space that Travis and Ashley deftly built into their portrayals; reading them is satisfying because you feel like you always knew this about them, even if you didn’t know the specifics.

The Molly comic was a bit of a miss for me, but I think that was a combination of the stylistic choices (I really think it would have benefited from being in the first person) and the fact that he simply wasn’t a character I ever connected to; on the other hand the Lucien novel was great even though Lucien had the worst vibes, because it also fit into the well-signaled but not explicitly laid out space left for it and answered questions I was curious about.

Basically: making a tie-in novel really is a case of threading the needle. I’d consider myself a pretty heavily involved fan! But for me to care enough to read a whole prequel book requires that I be invested in their present story, and that the story covers something in their past that it both made sense not to cover in the campaign, but also appeals to my curiosity about them. For Vex, I feel like Kith and Kin covers what I'm least interested in - I am so much more invested in the woman she was at the start of the campaign (and have enjoyed the VM Origins comics; I am the rare Colville apologist Vex fan) and how she develops and who she is afterwards than her adolescence, which isn't a knock on it, just an acknowledgment it's not for me. But for Laudna...again, why should I care about the history of a character who more often than not feels disconnected from the backstory I already know?

#couldhavebeenevelyn #cr tag'

[sir-phillip-crane]

16. “Everybody makes mistakes.” with Scanlan, Percy, and Vax please?

hey hey hey dear!! thanks so much for the request!!

reblogs > likes!!

requests open - and encouraged!

warnings: canon typical drinking and sex jokes

It was a mistake. You’ve made some throughout your life, sure, but nothing with as much guilt and terror as this one. Vox Machina had been hired to rescue some missing kids, and none of you could say no. It ended up a much worse battle than any of you had expected, and one of your attacks went astray and hit Keyleth in the middle of her chest, the druid staring at you in pain for a moment before collapsing.

Per usual, things had ended up… fine. Pike had easily revived Keyleth and she knew it had been a mistake and she held nothing against you. The children were returned to their families and VM made themselves at home at an inn in town. You had asked Vex for your own room, and since the family of one of the kids was letting you stay for free, she granted it. You were invited to go drinking, of course, but after that day, that mission, you just couldn’t bring yourself to look any of VM in their eyes.

Scanlan

He had preformed a few songs at the tavern, of course about the wonders that VM had pulled  during their travels. Surprisingly, he had stayed away from too many sex jokes since some kids managed to sneak in, but he entertained them by sitting and telling them stories about some of the inter-party idiocy that happened on a regular basis (like his ongoing game with Vax and Grog of ball tag).

And he got to a great part, a part that he’d absolutely call you over to elaborate on. But you weren’t around.

He dismissed himself soon enough, returning to the inn with two flagons of ale and coming up to your room. He didn’t knock, simply leaned against the door and greeted you with a “🎵 Hey there, darling~🎵 ”I’m not going away until you let me innnnn~🎵”

You knew him well enough to know it was useless to try and get him to leave, so you opened the door and let him in.

He handed you one of the ales, sitting crosslegged on the bed and greeting, “you never pass up a chance to hang out with us weirdos, you doin’ alright?”

He let you explain as little or as much as you wanted, sipping at his ale as he listened.

After a minute of thinking, he took his lute and strum a few chords. “Would you rather I try to cheer you up? Keep you company? Or just leave you to drink ale in peace?”

Keeping you company sounded the best

He had taken that as an invitation to lay down and make himself comfortable in your bed, waiting with a raised eyebrow. “Coming to bed?” He wiggled his eyebrows with a smirk.

You sat besides him, not quite ready to lay down yet.

He sat up, arms roping around your waist and chin on your shoulder. “You can’t feel bad, y/n. It was a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes – god knows I’ve made plenty. Heck, last week, I hit Vax so hard in the nuts he was bed bound for a day!”

You absolutely remembered that, laughing as you leaned against him.

“Come on,” he tugged on you, “you’ll feel better after some well deserved rest, hm?”

You still, admittedly, weren’t sure.

“Come onnnnnn… y/n, I’m way too hot to be sleeping alone. Come on. Come on. Come-”

You finally relented and let him tug you to lay down.

He spent the next few minutes coaxing you to sleep with soft humming and melodic mumblings.

Needless to say, one of the best rests you had in a while.

Percival von keysmash

Percy took any chance to turn down drinking – he would much rather enjoy a nice wine and looking out over town lights from a balcony than the yelling and fighting and drinking.

Pike had double checked if he wanted to come and made an offhanded comment that you were the only other one staying home from drinking.

Percy found that odd. Sure, maybe you didn’t enjoy drinking as much as, say, Grog, but you still weren’t one to turn down shenanigans with the gang.

He was rather attuned to guilt. He had misfired enough to have hurt himself or his friends some times, and he was used to the feelings afterwards.

So, he knew how to try and take care of those feelings. He went into town and bought some gourmet tea and sugary foods, then came back.

He knocked a few times on your door, assuming you didn’t know it was him and greeting you with “it’s just Percy; I brought you some pastries and tea.”

You let him in and he offered you the snacks and tea, although the drinks were closer to room temperature now.

It was unlike him to try and ignore the issues at hand, so he got right to it.

“Y/n, it is not your fault… I understand that you feel bad about it, but everybody makes mistakes.”

He sat on the edge of your bed, sipping on his own drink.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Keyleth is alright. The children are as well.”

He set the tea down and unlaced his boots, sitting closer to you and reaching out to grab your hand. “You cannot define yourself by your mistakes. That is something that I’ve learned; if our friends did so, they wouldn’t be themselves. We are not the errors we made. We are everything else.”

You invited him to lay down, and after taking off his copious amount of layers, he did.

He’d mumble some sweet words to you and rub your back until you had fallen asleep, at which point he’d also close his eyes and pass out.

Vax’ildan

Vax absolutely went drinking. He challenged Grog to a drinking contest and got dragged back to the inn by Pike and Vex after he almost passed out.

This specific job had really fucked him up. Those kids had thought their parents left them willingly, abandoned them, and Vax was a bit too familiar with that feeling.

His mother hadn’t, but his father hated him, and he hated his father back. Then seeing those kids have joyful reunions with both parents. Both. That cared about them. That loved them.

Vex had gotten him in bed before going to make sure all of VM made it home safe, and he absolutely took the time to get up.

He’s not as drunk as Vex thought, just a little bit tipsy. He’s absolutely sober enough to come to your room and knock, slurring “hey there, dove…”

Despite your state, you had to admit; it was fun to see him tipsy. The usually suave and borderline silent rouge stumbled in, smiling over at you brightly.

“I’m jus’ a bit worried ‘bout you.” He took the first opportunity he had to lean against you and hold your hands. “Fight was… bad.”

It was easy to get him to sit down as he fret over you, even more snuggly and affectionate in his slightly drunk state.

His arms were around your waist and his face in your neck, rocking back and forth.

“It… isn’t your fault, love. Truly, it isn’t. Everybody makes mistakes; it’s a part of being alive.”

He pulled Simon off and let him coil up his arm.

“I talk to Simon if I’m upset and don’t want to tell Vex. Do you want to?”

If you did, he’d leave the room until you were done venting to the snake. If not, he’d drape his cloak around you and lay down, Simon still around his arm.

He would tug at your arms and waist until you laid down with him. He was used to snuggles from most of VM, but there was something much different about this one.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe the smell of your clothes.

Didn’t matter. He buried his face in your neck and was out cold in no time.

#critical role x reader #critical role #vox machina #the legend of vox machina #tlovm #tlovm x reader #tlovm x you #vax'ildan x reader #vax'ildan #percy de rolo x reader #percival de rolo #percy de rolo #scanlan x reader #scanlan shorthalt x reader #scanlan shorthalt #neo writes #neo.posts

[vaxxy-the-raven]

Inspired by @ghostofwhitestone, who answered an ask about this on this post here, I wanted to think about my own Vox Machina fruit headcanons.

Because, oh boy, do I love doing posts like this! (tone = genuine; they spark joy!)

This time, I'm going to be doing it in order of my age headcanons from oldest to youngest - just for fun!

(I love ghostofwhitestone's take on this btw, this isn't shade at them! I just found the idea really cute and wanted to take a shot at it!)

~

Scanlan (68 as of 811PD) -

As someone who has lived a long time (should you believe any of his many long, winding, dramatic stories), Scanlan has eaten a lot of different foods of all types.

Despite being a fruity little man, he's actually not super big on fruit himself.

Pomegranate, however, has wormed its way into his heart (and his stomach) with Scanlan loving to pop little pomegranate seeds into his mouth as if they were candy.

He gives nobody any reason as to why, but secretly it's because his mother loved them and was always snacking away on them.

~

Pike (36 as of 811PD) -

Pike Trickfoot grew up with a gardener, her Papa Wilhand loving to home grow his own fruit and vegetables.

Wilhand was always partial to a good bowl of fresh strawberries and cream, but Pike's favourite were the raspberries - which she'd eat with reckless abandon if Wilhand would allow it.

She always takes a bunch with her whenever she stops by, eating them on the road towards her next adventure.

~

Taryon (30 as of 811PD) -

Taryon grew up in a very strict household that sources its crops from only the best of the best Zemnian farms.

That being said, Taryon loved nothing more than sneaking out into the encroaching woods surrounding the lonely little Darrington Estate to pick himself some lunar berries.

Lunar berries, growing off the thin and twisting branches of the short but thin lunar trees native to Wildemount, are small orbish fruits of a pale greenish turquoise colour.

They glow a faint pale blue in the dark, and they taste rather sweet, usually forming separately but occasionally forming in pairs or clusters.

Not only are they a great snack, but the act of sneaking out to pick them gives Taryon quite the little thrill.

His father disapproves of this, calls it uncivilised and unnoble-like, but Taryon just can't get enough of them.

~

Grog (30 as of 811PD) -

Grog eats… Everything.

He especially loves bacon, but bacon isn't a fruit.

Apples, however, are.

He loves apples, the bigger the better; The redder the better; The juicier the better; The sweeter the better; The crunchier the better…

He loves apples a lot.

~

Vex (27 as of 811PD) -

Growing up in Byroden, Vex'ahlia took things like the wild berries in the woods and the fruit in her mother's garden for granted.

When taken to Syngorn, she quickly learned to regret this - something about the soil used in Syngorn, as well as the fruit that they grow there, just wasn't… Right.

She misses her mother's strawberries a lot, but most of all, she misses the weird little fruits that grew in the summer on the trees that stand tall and broad around the mysterious Gladepools.

They were tough little fruits with a thick, almost-jelly like feel to them while being a translucent pinky red in colour with a bitter flavour to them that sweetened as you chewed away on them.

Apparently they were planted there by the first Elven settlers on Tal'Dorei, if Vex believes her mother's bedtime stories like Vax did.

She has no idea what they are called or how they got there, but she won't lie if she said that they did make her think of The Feywild a little.

Whatever they were, Vex never did find herself back out that way even after her and her brother ran away.

~

Vax (27 as of 811PD) -

Blueberries.

Vax'ildan has always loved blueberries, they make him feel a burst of joy and excitement like nothing else.

They technically didn't grow in his mother's garden, but their neighbour's blueberry bush had overgrown and crept into it at some point.

Whenever Vax is able to, he always buys (or steals) some when he's in town. If that's not possible, he'll get Vex to find him some blueberries next she goes out foraging.

~

Keyleth (25 as of 811PD) -

Keyleth loves all fruit.

Well, expect from pears and bananas… But that's because the texture of pears are gross and bananas were pretty different in Zephrah compared to how they are commonly and Keyleth just doesn't have the heart to try the universal yellow things.

Her little fat, lime green-skinned and pale blue, tough bananas would always be better than the long, pale-white, thin, and mushy yellow-skinned bananas that Scanlan always tries to make her eat for some reason.

That being said, Keyleth's all-time favourite fruit would have to be pineapple.

She tried it once while Vox Machina was in Ank'Harel, and she fell in love with it.

She has Gilmore import it from Marquet just for her, something that the man is more than happy to do - especially if it makes Vax very happy whenever he sees Keyleth very happy.

~

Percy (24 as of 811PD) -

Percy has a very refined palate when it comes to food, having grown up in a minor royal house as second in line to the throne.

(Vesper had been more than happy for Percy to skip over her, having even less interest in ruling than him.)

Whitestone was Emon's little brother in a way, its own royalty not quite on par with Tal'Dorei's ruling family but still being just as respected and important.

This meant it was just as strict, especially when it came to meals and snacks.

Fruit salad accompanied every lunch Percy had growing up, something he and his siblings all quickly grew sick of but had to tolerate for their parents.

Percy did become quite fond of the grapes, though, that would usually be a part of the dinner starter every night - especially the sweet, dark red ones that splash you with bright red juice when squashed by an annoying younger sibling.

They were used to make wine by the de Rolo family winery, 'The Old de Rolo Wine House', and Percy loved to sneak into the vineyards around the city to pluck some off the vines.

After the Briarwoods laid waste to his home, Percy vowed to one day bring the vineyards and winery back to their previous excellency.

~

Trinket (9 as of 811PD) -

Trinket is a simple bear.

He loves honey, bacon, chocolate (don't tell Vex that Vax sneaks it to him), and salmon - grilled or raw.

He also really likes…

Cranberries.

More than once, he's come back from foraging looking like he's mauled something to death, but in reality, he's only gone off to eat every cranberry he can find.

Sometimes this has been picked cranberries left in a basket by someone.

Vex has lost count of the number of times she's paid someone off because Trinket ate their whole basket-worth of cranberries.

#lynias gets to make another headcanon post as a treat #pineapple is also my favourite fruit 🍍 #critical role #cr #scanlan shorthalt #pike trickfoot #grog strongjaw #taryon darrington #vex'ahlia #vax'ildan #keyleth #percy de rolo #trinket the bear #cr headcanons #lynias shut up challenge

[tuxedo-rabbit]

As much as I’m glad tlovm exists it makes me sad that they really cut out all the stuff that I liked about Campaign 1. It’s never going to be an adaptation that I especially like, even if it’s a fun show to watch on its own.

Most of my issues stem from the changes they had to make to start the story at the Briarwood arc. They can’t have everyone’s character arcs start out at the same place as they were in the live show at this point. Things are getting shuffled around and cut. I get why they’re doing it but I dislike....most of the changes they’ve made.

I’m gonna put the rest under a read more because it’s really just me venting and being nitpicky! I know I’m in the minority, people LOVE this show! And please do! I’m just sad it’s not what I was hoping for.

I don’t think having season 2 revolve around the Chroma Conclave makes sense with the pacing of the animated show. The Chroma Conclave works best when you love Emon and the characters there. In the animated show, we barely know any of these characters. The death of the king doesn’t hold the same weight. They don’t even bother to try and make Gilmore being missing/maybe dead a thing in the animated show, there’s no suspense whatsoever, he’s just there to dispense loot.

Ideally, they would have added at least one season in between the Briarwood arc and the Chroma Conclave. Retool Kraghammer or the Slayer’s Take to happen without Tiberius. Just something to give us time to love the characters in this world before the Conclave threatens them all. This would also give the characters more time to earn some of the spells they had in the liveshow at this point, since they’re obviously having to make story cuts and write around that (Pike can’t do the resurrection ritual for Vex or Grog, Scanlan doesn’t have Modify Memory to fix Percy, no mansion).

 It would also give us time for more of the silly jokes in between characters, more time to flesh them out. Show us more of Vax being in love with Keyleth, of him being in love with Gilmore; show us more of Vax’s goofy side. Show us more of Vex’s vulnerable side, how she and Keyleth go against the team to try and befriend Clarota, show us how good she as at haggling. Keyleth has strong opinions on the Gods and it’s pretty damn weird this hasn’t come up yet in the animated show??? Show us Keyleth having opinions on the Gods whose vestiges she’s about to have to collect??

It’s just so weird to have the Chroma Conclave arc happen with barely any buildup!!

#tlovm critical #anti tlovm #again I'm really happy the show exists! #which is why I am tagging it with critical tags so that people don't have to see this! #I do like how they're handling scanlan and pike #love the build up for the big scanlan drama #pike actually showing that she has feelings for him before the big drama is a great change #also they made that whole scene with kaylie twice as cringe inducing #it was terrible in the best way possible #i just hate the pacing

[popculturebuffet]

Tal'Dorei Travelouge: Makin My Way Downtown Through a Sea of Pexhalia(The Fey Realm, The Echo Tree and A Test of Pride)

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Hello all you happy critters and welcome back to Tal'Dorei travelouge where I take a weekly look at the legend of Vox Machina. We're almost done.

Even if I won't miss my stupidly self increased workload, I will miss covering this series and enjoying one of the best series on television. I still have a LOT to look forward to this year with the Owl House Finale, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Kiff (Which I previously had no intrest in but then I found out it stars Kimiko glenn so.... ) , and cumilating sometime late this year with Invincible's triumphant long awaited return. While the animation scene continues to be a waking nightmare, there's at least some daydreams to keep my hope alive and this is very much one of them. It's also just nice to know a show you love has a bright future: at least one more season, likely two more to finish it up as a whole, a spinoff coming in 2024 or 2025, and options for movies and other works which with tons of one shots, the exandria unlimited minis, and the various sequel one shots to this very campagin, means we will be eating good for some time provided amazon prime also dosen't loose it's shit. At any rate I have some episodes to make my way through so without further ado, full review and spoilers under the cut

So before I dig in, i'm doing things a bit diffrently this week. See thanks to the planeshift being mildly botched, our party is split this week, half to the feywild, which i'll call Team Double Date and half to somewhere near Vasslehiem, which i'll call Team On My Way. I was going to go with Team Grog nearly gets his penis bitten off by a wolf, but it was a bit too much of a mouthful. As such instead of covering each episode one at a time, i'll be covering each team on it's own, as their essentially a two episode long and three episode long arc respectively. Before I dive in I do want to talk about season 2 as we near the endgame. Last week I talked about the good side of this season being episodic, with our heroes going from city to city on their quest with arcs along the way, each leaving an impact. It keeps the sessiony nature of dnd, while still fitting tv fine and I stand by it as it, along with the conclave's wider focus as a whole, has allowed the whole cast to shine more after the percycentric first season. It's also likely this was just as intentional in building this section of the campaign: Briarwood was focused entirely around whitestone where, unlike the show, they stuck around for a bit after, and the two arcs before this were set entirely in Vasslehiem, the ones before that being entirely around Emon and a small backwoods town respectively. This was the first arc in the campagin to really travel around Tal'Dorei and build out the world, and thus is likely why they jumped right to the briarwoods instead as it'd do the heavy lifting for helping flesh out the rest of the cast's backstories, as it involves Keyleth's people, Vax and Vex's father, PIke's grandfather whose also Grog's surrgotate father, and Grog's evil uncle we formally met this week. It allows us to really get to know the cast's history after getting to know them the first season. The downside to it.. is it's fucking huge. This has upsides.. but it also means that this season really feels like part 1 of a two part story, and while it wasn't something I felt a ton in the first half as we approach the climax it's sinking in more. It feels like the story isn't close to done and that the final battle with Umbrasyl is more the big fight at the end of a disc of a ps1 rpg, than the actual end of things. IT's still cool to play, sets up a lot of stuff and feels climactic, but we both know the story isn't close to done nor the big bad actually here yet. I can't fault the team for this as the Conclave arc is fucking huge and you can already feel the compression a bit, with them having to cram a lot of character introductions from pre-stream and the stream itself into a shorter time frame.

I'ts not too bad honestly, though I haven't watched the stream to compare, but it's clear there's no way in hell they could've done this in one season and had it actually be good. It's just with a two season arc it means you won't know how it turns out till part 2 comes out, and it's hard on me as a critic as part 2 could be a great satisfying conclusion that feels just right and really makes this two magical seasons of television that takes this show to new heights or it could be entirely botched and make me regret the time and love I gave the show. I have all the faith it'll be the former and these fears will likely amount to jack shit, it's just nervewracking after seeing shows ended before their narritive could finish (Final Space) or suddenly take a massive nosedive that totally wrecks all the good will they've build up (Star Vs the Forces of Evil). I don't see either happening as Amazon is all in on this show and the crew actually give a shit about what fans think and have this story actually planned out more than five minutes ahead, but I still tense up a bit and I feel bad for doing it when the critical crew has given me no reason to. It just makes for a slightly less satisfying experience first go round, but i'm sure the ending will leave me begging for more and my doubts will be entirely crushed next year. We'll see. I just had to be honest, or there's no point in doing this. Anyways, let's get away from my crippling anxiety and talk about Percy's three Peni shall we?

Team Double Date:Of All-Too Relatable Fanart, Shitty Parents and Gaslighting Incels So naturally Team DD isn't in the best shape since half of them are missing and Keyleth has her requisite panic attack over it. Vax, even if he's in the middle of his "my future is horrible and thus everything is horrible" phase, can't help but help the love of his life and calms her down in a scene that's both heartwarming and well done as his points are right: Pike isn't alone and if Keyleth HADN'T done the spell they'd all be dead. Being seperated sucks and is difficult, but their alive and where one of the vestiges was. I also like a nice reason why they were likely seperated: Keyleth was taking them to the vestige.. but in her panic over Umbrasyl and the speed she had to do it and with Scanlan having mentioned two in quick succesion, her mind likely slipped to both and thus split the team roughly in half. And luckily didn't split them in half entirely. We also get to see my boy Percy in full on adorable dork mode. Seriously it was nice to see him happy as it almost never has happened in the span of almost two full seasons. Vex can do it , but outisde of her few things can make him actually smile, so seeing him giddy the whole ep about the feyrealm, having studied it as a boy, is adorable. Even if not entirely helpful as books on a realm where nothing makes sense and everything makes nonsense do'nt do diddly. It is a dope setting though, with the art department having gone all out to make it feel enchanting and otherwordly. It's also clear it does NOT like Vax, but grass trying to murder him, the deadliest of foes, is the least of their worries as they have a peeping tom, which contrary to certain one hit wonders jazzy songs, is not fun nor sexay.

Your welcome for me inflicting this on you. Anyways, the peeper is Garmalie, a satyr, voiced by Billy Boyd. Yes they got a full on lord of the rings allumn for this, my boy pippin. Seriously I saw the Two Towers first and them riding a giant talking tree was one of the highlights... that and the fucking army of trees. He also played Chucky's seed Glenn in Seed of Chucky and the Series, and seems like a nice dude overall. Garm is a delight.. mostly for his introduction where the team capture him and assume his notebook is spy stuff... and instead it's fanart of varying quality. Yeah you can tell the nerdy voice actors who made this series have a LOT of experince with fanart because part of why his is so funny as i've seen all three types here before. Let me educate you Vex gets the worst, "Porn that horribly exagerates a characters sexy parts in a way that is not sexy just deeply horrifying. IN Vex's case her boobs are eleviated to propritions even Dennis Renoylds stellar artwork could never hope to match and also somehow twist around her body. I also don't like this kind because ther'es poor artmanship and then there's just greasy nightmares that show no respect for the subject. And yes you can draw art that's pornogrpahic and still you know respects the character. Second we have Vax and Keyleth who having sexual tension that can be seen from Tal'Dorei's moons, are drawn in bondage. Nicely done at that. I mean at worst Keyleth is out of character, but while she's drawn more muscular than we're aware of, it's not a terrible body type nor outright creepy like with vex and I do think they'd at least try it. Finally we have Percy of the "what the shit type" that's clearly drawn not to titliate but just to see if they could do it. He gets three pensises each with the face of one of the othe rparty members. IT's not offesnive just.. weird. Everyone's reactions are also perfect, with Vax just being stopped cold , Keyleth naturally all blushy, Vex amused, and Percy getting the absolute best with his utterly deadpan "Why do I have three Peni"? IT's easily the best joke of the week, and given a certain musical sequence we'll get to when we get to the other team, that was hard but much like Purvan and Playing WIth His Sword, this had me rewinding MULTIPLE times, evne more than either combined just to hear it again. It also has levels: it's funny enough he's asking, but the fact the weird faces on his peni aren't the part that he has questions he has is a nice subtle joke within the joke. Percy and Vax are both held back by their pride: Percy refuses Garmalie's help which, while he is shady as fuck, he also lives here and his info isn't as out of date or in cases wrong as some of Percy's, while Vax.. refuses to forgive percy and holds every incvoncince against him. The former.. is fair, as Percy did fuck up and while genuinely contrite it's only been two days, a week at most, since Vex died and undoing said death came at great personal cost. A cost he really needs to open up about to everyone else, but I get him being grumpy. But letting it interfere when Percy is genuinely doing his best and their stuck without a healer in a dimension they know little about with their only posisble help being a very suspect satyr.. that's less fair. It's what I mean abotu the character stuff: The episode gives the two a chance to short their issues out, but isn't too overt with it: Vax is more passive agressive, and what he's really mad about isn't brought up explicitly, and Percy's pride is baked into his character. It takes a stumble through some grass that leads to some delightful tripping balls from Vex and Keyleth to get them to work together well again. Said trip also has the best voice possible for Trinket so please...

The action sequence, as usual is great and allows Percy to debut Diplomacy, a gauntlet he apparently had in the game from day one, but gains here as his prostetic hand.. it requires a pull to get the juice flowing but proves the logical weakness. This also forces Vax to accept their going after him and after trying to brush off Percy apologizing again, Percy nicely refuses and says he'll have his friend and future brother in law's back no matter what.. which finally gets Vax to both kinda forgive him. It's a ncie moment as Vax admits he's been so distant.. because h'es scared of the path he's on and knows where he's going they can't follow. But percy decides Garm can as they need the help. Garmillee.. ends up being actually useful, in a nice shock. While he disappeared at the first sign of real danger, and thus won't be in for a fight he does give our heroes actually good directions and leads them to the elf captial of Sygorn. I mentioned last week that the city suddenly going up was clear setup.. well here's the payoff. Sneaking through a city isn't ideal but well.. Pixies are strong like bill bixby, so ti's best to go through... unfortunately even having the parties most subtle members along dosen't really help when your five (soon four as Garm nopes out) strangers in a town that shouldn't have vistors at all and the elves are forced to Namedrop dear old dad to avoid getting holes poked in them.

The ensuing conflict.. is tense and I was fully invested the whole time with the inevetibly nasty reunion between the twins and their father Syldor. I mean it helps the pre-show is Percy assuring Vex that while "Anyone can act like a noble just be an asshole and have a title" he assures her she has class. It's a taste of the fucking feast Percy and Vex shippers like myself got this episode. It helps that the show (and the campaign) avoids falling into an easy trap: We find out Vax and Vex have a step mom, Devana, played but the awesome Toks Olagundoye, aka Ms. Goddamn Beakley. I have to think part of the reason Sam knew to call on her was he was voice director on DuckTales, something I didn't know till art of ducktales but now cannot stop thinking about, as it means there's a VERY high chance the rest of the main cast could pop up here or on Mighty Nein. While Sam isn't voice director (That falls to his good friend Mary Elizabeth McGlynn), he still cleary has connections and the main cast for Ducktales, or hell the entire cast really, is all god tier. I"m not sure who they'd play as i'm only mostly familiar wtih the first campagin this shows based on and purpsofully barely familiar wtih the Mighty Nein as I want to watch that campagin with only moderate spoilers, but there's a lot of parts to play and several ducktales alums would be great for. At any rate, Devana... is kind and welcoming to the two: at most she just simply dosen't understand why it's been so long, making it likely she either dosen't get why their father's racisim hurt them so or simply hadn't seen the worst of it. Either way it's clear she treats them as family, when all too many shows fall into the "new wife is jealous of old kids" trap. Not that it dosen't happen, it can just be overused but she's not the reason they fled into the night only coming back to avoid a stabbing. She brings in a surpise though.. turns out the twins have a sister, Velora, played by Jayla Lavender Nichols, who I haven't heard of, child actor and all, but is nice in the roll capturing the girls innocence. And what I like is that.. neither of the twins put their shit with their dad on her. They could easily see him having her as simply replacing them or trying to have a child who has "pure" blood because racist is one of the many asshats he wears. Instead both's reaction once the shock wears off and they realize how delighted she is to finally meet her big siblings? Kneel down to her height, hug her and warmly interact with her. Vex who as we saw last season gets jealous very easily and as we see this episode has a relationship with her dad that can best be summed up as..

Is easily the sweetest with her: When Velora compliments her hair feather, she gladly gives it to her little sister as a reminder of her. It's clear the two love their new sibling, as big as the age gap is and as much as it's clear their father isn't embarassed she exists. It's also nice to see in Vax whose been somehow both grumpier and even more pissed off than usual since his bargin be genuinely happy.. for the five seconds before his father enters. So yeah how to best describe Syldor? Well normally i'd just use one reaction image, but Syldor is such a sea of asshole filled with asshole fish, asshole crabs, asshole whales, islands of pure assshole next to contents of calficied asshole dotted with rivers of pure asshole, not a one seemed to sum him up well.. though at the very least this one sums up how I feel well enough.

Syldor is one of the most punchable characters i've encountered in fiction. While he was bad enough in flashback, calling his children "diluted"

He somehow manages to make the worst second impression of all fucking time from there. He spends the episode being a massive knob to his children, only treating Keyleth and Percy with some degree of civility because he barely registers she's there and because he's nobliity respectively. The former is good both because Keyleth is so kind and loveable.. and because if he he got a wiff of her intrest in his son he likely would've done or said something so horrid there would be nothing left of him but a bloody pile of knife wounds and a traumtized widow and newly fatherless child to remember him by. And yeah I know as a big falutin lord he probably has collegues in such but even among elves I doubt anyone else can stand this arrogant, racist, selfish prick.

The city itsel is more sympatheic than him as while their in hiding their ACTIVELY preparing to come back and fight. IT's clear they left because they had the means queued up and unlike Vasslehiem I can support their being a bit cowardly: Vasslehiem is heavily guarded, full of powerful soldiers, healers and folks. It's army is likely smaller than tal doreis but prepared and they did not have to contribute said army, just goods or a dirction for our heroes. Instead they brushed them off and I hope they pay dearly for it before the arc's up. I dont' think they will canon wise but as seen last week, something not happening in canon.. dosen't mean it can't happen. Their not morally perfect, they could've waited to get refugees and didn't and clearly fled out of some form of racisim as much as preservation.. but the fact a bunch of assholes who took their city and ran are at least actively planning to help, traning to help and are simply hiding till their ready to fight.... is more sympathetic than turning away our heroes. Hell Syldor is somehow actually more helpful than the entire council despite being helpful by accident: When they bring up their after the vestiges he mentions exactly where it is, that it's nearbye and despite hating half of them, gives our heroes a scroll to let them get to the area. It's all condesceneding as fuck and if he dropped dead right after he'd be doing the world a favor, but it's telling that the biggest asshole in all of Tal'Dorei, very much including the four mass murdering dragons, was more help than a supposedly "Holy" council.

That said. .he's still...

So he spends the conversation doubting his children are capable of what's needed, despite Vax you know WEARING A VESTIGE IN FRONT OF HIM, mocking them and only not getting the uppercut he richly deserves because Vex STILL wants his approval

And because you know they need his help. Everyone has limits though and while Vax has been unduly patient with her dad, there's three things in her life you can't insult and expect to get away alive: Her brother, her bear, and her one true love. The former Syldor only gets a pass on because he always does this and she's just.. used to it, which is entirley sad. The next one is thankfully safe in his pokeball because Syldor is enough of an asshole to be a dick to a bear just because.. but Percy.. Percy is right there and made the valiant mistake of trying to do something nice for Vex. Having hit the end of his own patience since by this point they had everything they needed from the man, he simply gives Vex a title, mistress of the grey hunt. Unlike what I heard from the stream though.. this does nothing. Syldor isn't remotely impressed, sees he's just trying to help her, refuses to amend her title, and insults percy... and Vex finally tells her abusive dad to fuck off, that she will get the bow he dosen't think she can get and she's going to shove it down his fucking throat. This.. barely phases him because he has no feelings to phase, but it's also clear she's done.. and also taught her sister the word fuck. Awwww.... The conversation after this with my OTP. .is also great as Percy apologizes, feeling he overstepped.. only for Vex to make it clear that she found the gesture incredibly charming, and throughly apricates the title. In a sadly realistic touch she admits telling her father to fuck off iddn't feel good as it meant finally admitting to herself he dosen't care, but Percy perks her up by talking about her pure heart, and the scene is tender, shiptastic and generally sweet. And what I deserve after having to spend a good chunk of the episode with Syldor.

Anyways our heroes find the bow but also find a problem as not only is the bog it's in alive.. but as Gamilee (who rejoins them now he dosent' have to hide), puts it an archfey is in the middle of it named Saundor.. which as you can imagine is hell for me when Syldor is a major character in this episode. I get it for the stream as Syldor both came up long before this in a small arc (simply having his first in present apperance moved here to tighten things up), and the two weren't in the same episode. Here though.. he and the rest had no real excuse. Syldor is a through creep, trying to tempt Vex into giving him her heart and is generally apossievie incel who gets mad when he asks for it.. and is denied as, in a moment that made me cheer and percy get a look that now lives in my head rent free.. her heart belongs to someone else. A truly awesome fight insues as Vex goes one on one with the dick, without her trust bow after a point, and the rest of the team has to learn how to fight a tree.. an din a moment taken directly from the livestream and Marsha's on the spot thinking, Keyleth tears through their tree asses easily by combining two ablities: her minty fresh fire elemental transformation.. and woodwalking, alowying her to teleport from one to another and burn the fuckers from the inside. Bad... ass. Vex likely gets a great moment stabbing saundor in his blackened heart with a cool arrowhead Percy made for her, and our quartet prepares to head home and we get a hint for the future as Garmilee opens up a portal Tal'Dorei, likely somewhere near westrunn, effortlessly, as thanks for giving him the most fun he's had in a milenna.. and once their gone transforms into an arch fey himself. Curiouser and curiouser.

Team On My Way: Wolf Groin Attacks, Popop and Old Demons So while that's going on back with the other half of the team, things are.. less great. Grog is paralized with guilt over what he did, Scanlan is naturally panicked at PIke's peril and Pike is healing herself.. which I forgot she could do but thankfully saves her easily. Less easy.. is Grog breaking up with Craven Edge, which posses him.. but the memories of what he did to pike break him out of it and we get a badass sequence of him dulling the blade on every rock as it taunts him before finally shattering the fucker in half in a sea of blood. I also like that Scanlan and Pike are genuinely suprised it both drinks her blood and can talk, also making Scanlan come off as less of a dick for brushing off pike's concerns last episode: he HADN'T seen Grog go nuts with it like she had and as he correctly pointed out Grog is pretty weird to start with. It was hard to notice a change in behavior. Btu with his best friend and sisters support, Grog could vaniquish his inner demon. If I have one complaint, ti's that this goes a mite fast. it feels like they ran out of time and thus kinda had to speedrun grog breaking with the sword, and as a result it feels like a bit of an anti climax: the SCENE is good, but after this thing had such a grip on him and Grog had such insecuriteis about his own power and such a reliance on it it feels a bit quick and easy.. even with the aftermath.

Said aftermath is Grog is left skinny, a fate he considers worse than death, and is forced to rely on his friends to get by, leading to the amazing "On My Way" number. I cannot wait for the soundtrack to relase.. probbaly next week. I understand WHY, the last volume had spoilers and such and basically outlined the season via titles, if vauge enough not to ruin it, so in such a heavily packed season it was the last thing they wanted, but the wait is killing me on all the original music and I wish they'd relase this shit weekly at least. I didn't know I needed a country duet between pike and scanlan, or that Ashley Johnson could sing in fact, but god this was transcednant. Even better once I found out it was based on a gag from the second campagin: Matt had a habit of saying "you make your way", so they cast would chime in with the opening lines of a thousand miles.. and apparently it's evolved so much it gets it's own original song. We get a heartwarming roadtrip montage of Grog being a swiss army goliath, from a boat to a swing to a wolf chewtoy while our heroes drag him around.

They eventually get to a character i've been waiting all season for, partly because he's so important to PIke and Grog's backstories i'd read about.. and mostly because he's the goddamn fonz. Yes Henry Winkler is here and the crew was happy to get him. He's perfect as willhand, sinking easily into the wise but snarky and blunt gnome and i'm happy to see henry in anything, but especially here. It's also a sweet reunion as Pike gladly calls him pop pop despite being an adult, introdcues scanlan.. and Grog also adorably calls him pop pop while Willhand is eager to help his grandson. The problem is Grog needs to get his muscles stimulated... and after the obligtatory mastubation attempt explains they jsut need a jolt and whips up a cure, being an expert herbalist. Grog dosen't think he can swallow it..

No really. IT's... not one of the series better jokes, though Scanlan being the one to do it for obvious bead related reasons is, and judging from the trailer also foreshadowing. You know not every fantasy series can pull off a gnome shoving a lifesaving cure up a goliath's ass as foreshadowing, but Vox Machina somehow can. Problem is Grog's muscles while at least working again so he can walk normally and lift things, aren't back to full shape and need time to pop back up so our heroes are left a goliath down and decide to go investigate Westrunn for the gauntlets. This leads into our next episode as Grog is still trying to avoid it at all costs... only to explain their wielder Kevdak is not only his uncle.. but nearly killed him.

So we get things split again next episode, though just between this party as we wait for the rest to get back. Scanlan's story's pretty easy to run through if still important: he uses a new dragonfly form (after seeing one float by to comply with polymorph requiring you to have seen the creature first) to sneak in to grab the gauntlets and get out, and Pike even flirts with him to get his coperation. THe two. .have been actually doing better though we did get a very sad, well done moment where Pike is genuinely complimentary and it's almost working for once.. only for Scanlan to default to his horny shields, can relate and have her walk off mad.

Scanlan soon finds the local refugees led by Kaylie, played by Aisling Francosi, who I hadn't heard of and makes her Voice Acting debut here, but does a great job, not taking Scanlan's shit and being awfully paranoid about him leaving... she also looks a tad familiar don't she? I'll save the twist for next time, as it hasn't been revealed in show.. but let's just say I know what her deal is and it is a LOT. We also meet Dr. Dranzel, an orc leading a traveling troupe who weirdly dosen't know scanlan here. in the original campaign he discovered him.. mostly because the home game orignially just being a fun one off... Sam, being new to dnd and not sure what to do just had some fun and basically gave Scanlan Eminem's backstory. Maybe they don't want to piss him off, always a good strategy I don't know. So orc dr dre and kaylie need to escape and since they won't let Scanlan go get the calvary he helps sneak them out once Umbrasyl arrives. Umbra's been busy these eps, as he beliveis in the vestiges but Thordak, while wise mostly.. is also stupid abotu them and scoffs at needing them. He's also become best pals with Dr. Ripley, though Scanlan only vaugely recognizes her voice, so our heroes don't know yet. I DO like adding her as an active presence this season, as in the campagin she just vanished a while, which is fine for a tabletop as they had bigger issues and assumed she'd come back eventually, but for tv dosen't quite work, especailly since they had Victor hint at her. So having her play umbrasyl to further her own goals and survivial while forming something resembling an honest friendship is great.

Umbrasyl is getting tribute from the herd of storms....aka Grog's old herd, something he explains to pike. In the livestream I THINK she knew all this, but it was clever to have her not know: Wilhand simply didn't pry too deep because he knew better not to ask and Grog was too ashamed to tell pike, as we get his tragic backstory.. which is really this season's theme. Except for Percy but he had a whole tragic backstory season so it's fine.

Once upon a time a younger teenage grog was a happy mindless murder machine, a brutal monster woh gladly killed everyone he could with no thought to his victims as the herd carved it's way through any town unlucky enough to find their path, egged on by his adopted father Kevdak.. which is not nearly as confusing as the other naming situation as it's just two characters who happen to share a "dak" name, neither of which share an episode, played perfectly by Ralph Ineson, a character actor whose been in a LOT of things, including playing the Demoncisim guy in Star vs the Forces of Evil. The more you know and such. Kevdak is a brutal monster and Grog was on the path to become a spitting image of him.. till he met Wilhand. Wilhand begged for his life.. and in seeing a locket of Wilhand and his grandaughter, Grog for the first time in his life.. grew a concience. Maybe it was just how sad he looked, maybe the young goliath realized what he'd been doing all his life, maybe he just rembered his dad. The show leaves it vauge, but whatever it is.. Grog just coudln't kill the man and instead brains his cousin Zanror and tries to get Willhand to saftey without anyone noticing. He manages the first part.. but Kevdak kinda notices his son got his shit kicked out of him and confronts Grog who lets Wilhand go and gets ready to fight.. and we see why the poor guy is so afraid of him: As he has a vestige, which nicely crackles, Kevdak has super strength. A fun fact while he came up with this whole backstory, Travis both never thought he'd see Kevdak mid campaign, and the idea of the vestiges were matts, with him deciding it just lined up too perfectly not to use them as vestiges. This perfect storytelling syndergy.. results in a horrifying scene of a young man being beaten into a bloody pile, left in a pool of his own blood with no one to help him not even some poor kid to cry

Okay he's thankfully not as he's telling this story and in a nice bit of karma.. Willhand returns. He clearly figured Grog wasn't going to get out of that alive, and thus brought a young pike, her hair still brunette, long story, with him. Grog lost his herd.. but gained a family.

The two decide to go after Scanlan, but he does fine and gets the refugees to saftey, with Scanlan promising to reunite with them.. but the scared way they look at Grog gives him an ephinay: He realizes that his herd has done that to people, that HE used to.. and thus realizes where his strength comes from: it's about helping the helpless, and if he can't do that, it's worth nothing. So even without it he plans to confront kevdak, sending the other two off as he needs to do this one on one, to both clear his demons, and because it's the right thing.. as well as the only thing his uncle will understand. So thus as Kevdak beats his own child which despite being an adult I still think counts as child abuse at least on a technicality, and grog challenges him

See you next week.. or earlier if you follow my twitter. Untithen.. thanks for reading

#the legend of vox machina #legend of vox machina #critical role #percy x vex #vex'halia #percy de rolo #vax'ildan #grog strongjaw #henry winkler

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Legend of Vox Machina: Those Who Walk Away (2x04)

I got the Vax punching Percy scene, I'm a happy camper.

Cons:

I can't overstate how much most of my complaints about this show are nitpicks. It feels like we've gotten such a bounty, something so much better and cooler and more intense than I ever could have hoped for. So when I'm talking about things that missed the mark for me, it's really only a matter of being thorough. Of being so impressed with this show that I expect the absolute best from it. My complaint is a little difficult to articulate, but during the pivotal Vex resurrection "take me instead" scene, it felt like the pacing, or the blocking, or maybe both, were just slightly... off.  Pacing-wise we go from the weeping at the end of season three to suddenly everyone being like "oh yeah, shit, we should be trying to save her", which just felt like they prioritized the fucking stunning ending of episode three over the beginning of episode four making sense, a little? Vax is sobbing like he believes she's really dead, and then suddenly he says "somebody do something!" like he's still in the middle of figuring out what's going on. Just a little awkwardness there.

There's this particular shot where Vex's spiritual self has flowed upward, and there's the golden thread connecting the twins, and the Matron of Ravens is looming over them, and it just looked kind of awkward with Vex's form laid out in this weird ghostly way... I think if I were going to do this, I wouldn't have had Vex's soul float out of her body at all, I would have kept the string connecting Vax to where Vex lay on the floor. Or I would have done a less tangible representation of Vex being taken away, like an orb of light or something. Like I said, this is nitpick-y to the extreme.

I'm also a little torn about Anna Ripley popping up there at the end. When I first saw her I actually wasn't sure who she was and had to think on it to figure it out. I guess it makes sense to want to keep her character on people's minds during this season, since I assume she's going to become relevant again in season three, but it still feels a little random. I'm willing to see how they take it, I'm just not sure how to feel yet.

Pros:

I'm so happy with everything we're getting!!!

Trinket backstory has me weeping. It just makes me think back to Laura writing up a little short story about her D&D character for Matt, and how it was this special little thing she'd thought up for their home game, all the way to now, seeing it in glorious animation. And what a cool way to set up the theme about fate. It's not so much that you have no control over anything so life is pointless, it's that, as Vex says, whatever happens is out of our control, so you might need to try and embrace what's in front of you. She took an opportunity, and got Trinket out of it. Now Vax has an opportunity in front of him as well.

The resurrection scene, while I've lodged a few complaints above, still gave me so many things I absolutely loved. The details of the whole group and how they respond to Vex's death... you've got Keyleth taking her hand and weeping, and there's the moment when Kash takes over and is going to try a resurrection rite, and Vax just kind of stumbles and falls backwards to the ground. Both Grog and Scanlan reach for him as if to catch him or steady him, but it's so clear that Vax is beyond their reach in that moment. And then the contrast between Vax sitting there watching the Matron of Ravens approach slowly, eerily, and the frantic sounds of the group talking as they try and save her... so chilling. You've got Scanlan trying to suggest another potion, you've got Grog saying "can we move her somewhere else", when it becomes clear that the tomb of the Matron isn't going to let her be resurrected. You've got Percy, begging Kash not to give up. That's the good shit.

All of the Matron of Ravens imagery is STUNNING. I'll talk about the fight stuff later, but just soup to nuts, the way she moves, the creepy mask, the size and scope of her, the music, the way the visions/flashbacks work for Vax... it all looks so cool and has me so hyped for what they do with her and Vax moving forward. Towards the end we see Vax witnessing a moment of death. We're starting to see the Matron of Ravens as a being heavily associated with death, but also death being a natural thing, something the Matron helps to usher along at the end. Vax is going to have to go on a journey to figure this out.

I'm sure some people are going to be pissed off with the degree to which Zahra is kind of the villain of this episode, what with her unleashing a not-Beholder on the group leading to the majority of them getting petrified, but I think this change is really smart. We're dealing with seven main characters here. There's a lot to juggle, and there's not really room to have a couple extra people tag along who are just there to be nice, uncomplicated allies in moments of stress. I thought it was such a fun way to have a fight sequence that isn't low-stakes, precisely, but is more there to showcase the power of our first Vestige of Divergence. This monster takes out the entirety of Vox Machina, along with Zahra, and yet Vax on his own is enough to defeat it because of his new cool armor and status as a champion of a goddess.

We've seen what a big deal these dragons are, we know how outclassed our heroes were in the face of them. So now we see how hunting down these Vestiges is going to make a big difference in that fight. Super smart! And as always the fight choreo is so fun and chaotic and exciting, with so many good character details. Kash calling out "Z! No, no!" when she got petrified got me in my feels about those two, and Scanlan reaching for Pike's hand, only for them both to be turned to stone, it's all so good and fun. And when Vax emerges to finish the fight, the speed, the music, that stunning shot of him in the air with the image of the Matron behind him... holy shit, I totally got chills.

Those Calamity/Purvan visions! Holy shit, this show is GORGEOUS. We've got a glow-up in terms of visuals even from what the first season managed to give us, and I am living for it. The images of the gods during the Calamity, those giant embodiments floating in the sky... we saw the Everlight again, among others we'll get to know about more later. And we see Vax start to embrace his fate, even though he doesn't know what it is, exactly. It's so terrifying, it's so upsetting, how from this moment on, Vax never gets to be quite the same person he was before.

I've got to shout out Percy for being so sweet and solicitous of Vex, checking up on her, guiding her through the tombs, helping her up after her petrification is undone by Kash. He's being so gentle and timid, and he's so clearly horrified and forever changed by  what his moment of carelessness nearly cost him. I'm living for it. And we got one of my FAVORITE scenes in the whole streamed campaign, where Percy goes to apologize to Vax for getting Vex killed, and he gets decked in the face for his trouble. Fucking excellent. I love how they streamlined this moment by having Vax say "I don't want to talk about it", and then Percy pushing through to talk about it anyway. It's such a good character moment for Percy, because he really is sorry, and all that, but ultimately he still thinks he knows best. He can't respect the way Vax needs to process this, and wants to get the apologizing over with. At the same time, Percy just wants to prove his worth to the group, prove that he is no longer the monster that sought to hurt them last season. I... love Percy so much, and I am so, so excited to see how things develop for him in terms of his relationships with the rest of the group, particularly with each of the twins.

So for now, we say farewell to Kash and Zahra! I loved that Zahra was the one to give Vex the necklace, that was a good way of streamlining, although I'll miss our fun wolfy friend from the stream at the same time. And while we didn't get the legendary Kash/Keyleth kiss between these characters, because so much has changed about the circumstances of their first meeting, we did at least get Kash asking Zahra if "antlers" is watching him walk away. That was so fun!

I hope that other people watching this appreciate the gravitas of the choice Vax has made. Yes, they managed to save Vex from death itself, but it's not a cheap moment, it's not something someone could just do any old day. It's going to be so exciting to watch the implications spill forward from this moment!

9/10

#review #tlovm review #tlovm #the legend of vox machina #critical role

[ria-the-camel]

Negative thoughts on tlovm under the read more, i just wanted to get them out where i know where to find them later, pls don't yell at me

I guess i feel the same as season 1, it's a bit better but the same problems persist

Mostly, the dialogue feels stunted and forced (whenever the twins call each other sister/brother i just cringe, i admit i can't remember if they did it in the broadcast but it doesn't matter that much, it's just one example anyway)

Most of the jokes don't land at all with me (pedobear? Seriously? You dont have to bring that stuff in, leave it in 2015 lol) I think the only legit chuckle i let out was when percy absolutely read zahra about being jealous Osysa told vm instead of them, her reaction had good timing for me lol

I think the biggest issue tho is it really doesn't feel like the team like each other. And it's inevitable with condensing such a large amount of content, but it's really missing the bonds between them, the only ones i really see working are pike and grog, who are adorable. The twins feels forced to me. "Look at them being traumatized together" I see it, but i don't feel it.

Kash and Zahra feel so aggro the whole time and it's a shame this is the path they chose to go on, I'd rather have maybe kash gets friendly faster and drag zahra along, just so they're not assholes the whole time. I guess from the ending it is the path they're choosing but we'll see next ep. Also wonder if pike will do the rez 🤔

And also am not a fan of dropping the back story ON the episode shit goes down, like where's my build up? It's really not as impactful, i really didn't feel anything as vax held his dead sister in his arms (when i watched liam O'Brien describe doing that exact same thing i couldn't stop crying instead)

Aaaand since im being nit picky, the sobbing sounded bad. Sorry, dry sobbing really ain't doing much for me. Would have had way more impactful if the ep ended with him just staring horrified and maybe the classic single tear down his cheek.

The flights were alright, pretty fun, didn't love vex and zahra bitching and everyone getting a chance at almost drowning, it lost meaning sorta. But ep 1 had some pretty neat devastation not gonna lie. Probably my fave ep in the show so far.

The animation issss... Not the best, but it feels a bit better that season 1. I really dont like how they make the dragons. Okay they're 3d i get it. But they mesh so bad with the other characters, they should have animated them with a lower frame rate at least imo, if doing cell shading really didn't work for them (which i can understand). Same with osysa of course.

This is the least of the problems, but i still have trouble with some gods remembering who the fuck they are lmao Do get distinct from wotc im just gonna take some time to remember who the lawbearer fuckin is lmao

Anyway it still feels surreal to see this show brought to animation though, and ill continue watching and hoping it gets so much better! Especially cos id love to see both mighty nein and bells hells get animated, and i want the team to have way more solid ground and writing skills under their feet/belt lol

#crit role #cr1 #sorry sorry sorry it's to keep order on my own blog pls don't be mad at me i tagged it

[theliterateape]

"Here, Take a Pill," said the Pushers of Pills

by Don Hall

In order to find temporary employment as I help care give my father in Kansas, I decided to apply to substitute teach here.

For those familiar with my bizarre, nomadic career path, you know that I as a Chicago Public School teacher throughout the nineties and even wrote a book about it entitled Strippers, Guns, and The Holocaust Museum: OR: How I Survived My Time as a Chicago Public School Music Teacher. I ended up losing my taste for teaching children (mostly due to the bureaucracy of the public school system at the time—a situation that decades later seems far worse than better) and moved on.

The best part of getting a teaching degree (as opposed to one in Philosophy, Theater, or Gender Studies) is that it doesn’t wear out. I can apply to and teach in any American public school which makes it a perfect fall-back in times of financial fuckery.

As this current moment is one of those times, I applied, filled out paperwork online, sent my transcripts, got fingerprinted. One of the requirements is to get both a physical and a TB test, so I scheduled an appointment with a local clinic (no personal doctor, no insurance) and went in. I waited a bit but not long. They pricked me for the TB test and commenced to the physical. The nurse did her thing, asking questions, poking and prodding.

“Do you have problems with persistent vomiting?”

“No.”

“Why did you mark yes on the vomiting?”

“The question doesn’t clarify ‘persistent’ but I have vomited before so I was trying to be thorough.”

She re-marked it “No.”

She finished. I waited. The doctor came in, perusing my chart.

“Looking good, Mr. Hall. Everything seems to paint you as perfectly healthy, except…”

“Except?”

“Your blood pressure is a little bit high.”

“A little bit like I’m going to die soon or a little bit, just a tad over normal?”

“You aren’t going to die from it. Did you gain some weight recently?”

“Yup. Put on about twenty pounds in the past four months. Long story. Lots of stress and hiding from an ex-wife.”

“Well, I can prescribe you with some blood pressure medication if you’d like.”

“Medication? Nah.”

She adds, almost apologetically, “You could also, you know, focus more on… exercise and diet.”

“Yeah. I joined a gym as soon as I landed here. Already dropped seven in the past three weeks. I know weight loss isn’t an instant thing but I’ll drop the weight. I dropped eighty pounds about fifteen years ago and only managed to bring back about thirty of that in that time. I’ll get it done.”

With that, I was outta there but the fact that her first inclination was to prescribe medication over exercise bothered me. During the very beginnings of the pandemic, while my ex-wife decided to through caution to the wind and sleep with strangers for cash, I found myself conflicted. I believed Fauci, knew that vaccines were coming from Big Pharma, but was also watching Michael Keaton deal with the pernicious greed of that corporate monster in Hulu’s Dopesick and I had a hard time squaring the fact that the villains in the opioid crisis would come to our collective rescue with a vaccine. I mean, I got over it in that I vaxxed and boosted, wore my mask, and did my level best to be a respectful citizen but the gnawing in my brain wouldn’t subside.

Adding to my discomfort was the fact that, when COVID hit, it would have been simple to warn that those most at risk were fat, old, and immunocompromised but the current fear of offense prevented such a clear and obvious declaration. “Fat but healthy” just isn’t a real thing. As we dick around with the feelings of the Doritos and Coke class, we put them at serious risk, especially the poor. Instead of doubling down on ‘Eat a fucking salad and get off your ass and move some, chunky,” we miss the boat on actually helping those who need it most.

The US obesity prevalence was 41.9% in 2017 – March 2020. (NHANES, 2021)

From 1999 –2000 through 2017 –March 2020, US obesity prevalence increased from 30.5% to 41.9%. During the same time, the prevalence of severe obesity increased from 4.7% to 9.2%. (NHANES, 2021)

Obesity-related conditions include heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes and certain types of cancer. These are among the leading causes of preventable, premature death.

The estimated annual medical cost of obesity in the United States was nearly $173 billion in 2019 dollars. Medical costs for adults who had obesity were $1,861 higher than medical costs for people with healthy weight.

SOURCE

More fodder to chew is surfing through television (as opposed to streaming, my folks actually watch regular TV) and I land on a show called Man vs Food which is nothing more than an avatar for Americans overindulging in three-pound bagel sandwiches and five-pounds of nachos in a single sitting for viewing please. Also, the fucking commercials leveled at those who watch the local news is a fucking parade of pharmaceutical wonderment—depressed, low energy, or bulging eyes from a Thyroid condition? Take a pill! Yes, this pill might make you suicidal, bleed from your anus, instantly diabetic, and prevent you from ever procreating but, goddam it, you won’t have shingles, so there!

Christ, the most popular kind of pill in existence (beyond opioids) only work 15% of the time.

When looking at how the Affordable Care Act tabulates effective value-based outcomes, it turns out that the actual curing of the issue is far less important than medically altering or diminishing the symptoms. Hospitals get paid based upon the amount of drugs given rather than diseases cured. Why? Because Big Pharma writes the guidelines.

Maybe this doesn’t come as any big surprise to most of you. I’ve avoided going to doctors as much as possible but that’s because both when I was six and when I was twenty, I had medical professionals pronounce me dead within a short time span, both who were dead wrong. I outlasted the first by fifty years and second by thirty-six so they were as accurate as presidential pollsters were in 2016. I’m sure doctors and pharmacists and drug researchers are perfectly fine as human beings but the business they are in is as corrupt and heinous as Chicago real estate.

The result? I’ll take NyQuil when I have a head cold and Advil when my shoulder aches but treat most of my ailments with a strong dose of exercise, sleep, and decent, non-processed food. Except for COVID, which I received all the pertinent vaccines and still ended up getting.

[evermoredeluxe]

instagram stories and tweet in support of "folklore"(24th july 2020)

#no I am not doing the vax thing #vax is the best at this but these stories were missed and I just had to #im sorry :( #this is more for me than updating lmo #*lmao #folklore release #olivia rodrigo #iris apatow #gracoe abrams #kaia gerber #ashe music #colbie caillat #chloe bennet #eiza gonzalez #elle fanning #sabrina carpenter #chloe grace moretz #haim #millie bobby brown

[vethbrenatto]

Here we go again: TLOVM Thoughts Part 2

Episode 4 Thoughts:

oooh miss delilah is pressed about her book

give scanlan back his instruments >:(

Delilah’s graveyard scene was INSANE

my poor pikey,,, even her light cantrips won’t work

Pike’s scene trying to connect to the Everlight but only finding empty darkness legitimately made me tear up

The pike/grog scene… my heart….

I think the split up of character was very intelligent - playing on close character pairings (pike/grog, Percy/keyleth, vex/vax, and then instead of putting scanlan where he’d usually go with grog and pike, which frees up grog from goofing off so he can have his emotional moment with pike)

the gore was a little much at points but I did find the monster sufficiently scary

A monster grabbed grog through the boobs????

The darkness monsters defeated by light thing was a bit cliche but worked really well narratively with both keyleth and pike’s story beats and with the d&d concept of vulnerabilities

I AM GOOPED GAGGED DEAD AT PIKE’S GOODBYE. FAVORITE SCENE OF THE SHWO SO FAR. WHAT IF I NEED YOU? YOURE THEIR LIGHT NOW. THE ZOOM ON SCANLANS FACE AS VM WALKS AWAY FROM PIKE. PIKE STANDING ALONE AAAA

Best Characterization of the ep: grog, pike

Episode 5 Thoughts:

“Crime doesn’t pay, but it is entertaining” was SUCH a line delivery, thank u gilmore

Vax and Gilmore flirting while keyleth is stuck in a finger trap is poetic cinema

I am now looking at every shot with horses from the lens of the animator who hates drawing horses

Percahlia banter continues to be cute

I literally had to pause the video to scream because of the grog and pike content. The way grog can’t hear her and is worried about how the group will fare without her I can’t-

Keyleth with her glowing green eyes and fangs go off babe

The bag falling over the cliff is MY villain origin story

Why do professor anders be shaped like that fjkskdkfk

OH MY GOD THE KID WITH PIKES SYMBOL FUCK FUCK SUN TREE FUCK THIS IS GONNA GUT ME HUH

the little vaxleth scene with the vine bracelet honestly I liked better than any canon original vaxleth alonetime scene sjjfkfkf

The rakshasa callback oh my god and then keyleth drowning a man in lava that was hilarious SHHH GO TO SLEEP

The return of stubby 🥺

Okay yep the sun tree scene wrecked me.

Best characterization: keyleth, vax, grog

Episode 6 Thoughts:

The little coleader squabble was so cute

I can get a beret!

The door bit while front door team succeeds on their mission is great

I FELL OUT OF THE WINDOW

Percy fucking covered in smoke: oh yeah my gun just does that :)

You just went full demon percy you can’t go “I have a sister” NOW

Best characterization: percy

Some Faves:

Favorite Characterization Overall: Pike, Grog Best Comedic Characterization: Keyleth (ngl mostly for the lava bit) Favorite Episode: Episode 4 (but honestly, all were great)

honestly, i found this batch of episodes had a lot more hitters in terms of jokes that worked. there were still quite a few swings and misses, but there were a lot more jokes that i genuinely laughed at in this batch than in the first few episodes. and the plot? WOOF!

i can understand why people were worried about this diverting attention from CR main because i dont know how im going to think about anything BUT this for the next ten hours

#the legend of vox machina #tlovm spoilers #tlovm thoughts

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N: no fic-related news but i did get my first dose of the covid vaccine today so that’s exciting! GET VAXXED, PEOPLE! SPENCER WOULD WANT YOU TO!!

Masterlist

Chapter 20

“Hey Hotch,” Spencer knocked on his boss’s door.

Spencer got in extra early today to have his meeting with Hotch and hopefully tie up all the loose ends in his paperwork.

“Reid, come in,” Hotch gestured to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and talking with Y/N and I think my time at the BAU is coming to an end,” Spencer said.

“I see,” Hotch leaned back in his chair, “Well, I think it goes without saying that you would certainly be missed. But, I’m not going to try to convince you to stay because I feel like this is a good decision for you...one I probably should have made myself if we’re being completely honest.”

“You made it work though, Jack loves his superhero dad,” Spencer reassured him, “I just can’t keep missing stuff after already missing six years. It’s too much and I certainly can’t focus on cases when I’m desperately wishing I was somewhere else.”

“How about this? We put you on temporary unpaid leave for a year. Then, you can either choose to come back or quit for good. This will give you plenty of family time and then you’ll see if you’re ever ready to return or not. It’s up to you. Also, if I just put you on leave, it can start as early as tomorrow. Instead of you just quitting and then having to put your two weeks in and be called away on more cases.”

“That sounds great, Hotch. Thank you so much for your understanding. If I don’t come back, it was a pleasure working with you. But I’m sure I will see you around at Rossi’s dinner parties,” Spencer grinned.

Hotch and Spencer hugged before pulling away to see the rest of the team filing into the bullpen.

“I guess I have to tell them,” Spencer sighed, knowing they would be a little disappointed at the sudden news.

“Hey guys, I have an announcement,” Spencer walked out of Hotch’s office.

“You have another secret daughter?” Derek joked.

“Y/N is pregnant?” Penelope guessed.

“You’re engaged?” Emily asked.

“Um no to all, I know this is a bit sudden and I apologize for that but effective tomorrow, I will be taking a year long leave from the BAU which may turn permanent,” Spencer spoke softly.

Silence filled the room.

“It’s not that I don’t love this job or you guys. You all know you are my best friends but I just really need to be home with my family right now,” Spencer explained.

Derek was the first to walk up to Spencer, “We’re gonna miss you around here, kid.”

He pulled Spencer in for a hug, ruffling up his hair.

Penelope was next in line to hug Spencer with a tissue already dabbing at her eyes.

“I hate to see you go, Boy Wonder, but I know it’s what’s best for you,” she said.

“I think Jo may be an even stricter boss than Hotch,” Rossi teased.

“She does have a tendency to get grumpy when she isn’t allowed to have ice cream for dinner,” Spencer laughed lightly, wiping the tears that were forming from his eyes.

“Please don’t ever stop talking. I know we tease you but I truly am going to miss your rambles,” Emily whispered.

“I’m just a phone call away,” he promised.

“You deserve this. Do not feel bad,” JJ reminded him.

He nodded in acknowledgement, his voice getting caught in the lump in his throat.

“We need a cake!” Penelope exclaimed, “I will not have the Good Doctor’s last day be cakeless especially with that sweet tooth of his.”

“On it,” Derek said, grabbing his keys.

“Decorations too! See if Party City has a Happy Retirement section!” she shouted after him.

“You’ve got it, baby girl,” Derek replied.

-

Spencer returned home in the evening with a cardboard box full of his belongings that once resided on his desk. 7 years of his career packed into one box. It seemed sad to him that such a big chapter of his life was closing.

But then, he walked inside. You and Jo had karaoke up on the TV screen. You both were currently in the middle of Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Jo even had her baseball cap on backwards to complete the look.

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends. If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give. Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is,” Jo sang.

Then you jumped in, “So, here's a story from A to Z. You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully. We got Em in the place who likes it in your face. You got G like MC who likes it on a

Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady. And as for me, ha you'll see.”

“Slam your bodies down and wind it all around,” you both sang.

You turned around to see Spencer standing there and you let out a yelp.

“Oh no, please continue. Don’t stop on my account,” he grinned.

“Daddy!” Jo jumped up into his arms.

He moved Jo to his hip as you approached.

“Hi, love,” you greeted him with a kiss.

He was no longer sad. This was the right choice. This is where he belonged.

-

“Shhh” is the first thing you heard as you awoke followed by the quiet rattling of dishes.

“Jo, no!” you heard Spencer whisper-shout, “I said not until Mommy wakes up.”

“I’m up,” you muttered into your pillow.

You turned to the side of your bed to see Jo standing there with a tray of food and Spencer behind her with a bouquet of flowers.

You smiled softly.

“Happy Mother’s Day!” they both cheered.

“Thank you, my loves,” you gave them both kisses, accepting the tray from Jo as Spencer set the flower vase down on your bedside table.

The food on the tray consisted of a mug of coffee, a cup of orange juice, bacon, a bowl of blueberries, and a big chocolate chip pancake with sliced strawberries for the eyes and nose and a whipped cream smile.

“Very artistic,” you grinned.

Spencer returned next to you in bed, getting under the covers. He was wearing a plain gray fitted t-shirt, flannel PJ pants, and his glasses.

“Jo, you can go get your present for Mommy while she eats,” he suggested.

Once Jo left the room to go retrieve her gift, you planted a much messier kiss on Spencer’s lips.

“Not that I’m complaining but what was that for?” he smirked.

“You know how sexy I told you those glasses make you look,” you stated, taking a bite of a strip of bacon.

“I’ll keep them on all day then as part of your gift,” he smiled.

Jo crawled on to the bed with a wrapped box and an envelope taped to it. The card was clearly homemade by Jo and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Look at this beautiful artwork!” you exclaimed, opening the card.

Inside was a gift card for a spa downtown surrounded by Jo’s doodles.

“JJ said that place was really nice. There’s enough on there for you and a friend to get a full day of pampering,” Spencer said.

“Well, that’s good that she likes it because I will probably bring her along as my fellow mom. Thank you both,” you smiled.

Jo pushed the wrapped box towards you. You opened it to find a multi-colored beaded necklace.

“I made it for you, Mommy,” Jo beamed as you put it on over your head.

“That is so very thoughtful of you,” you kissed her forehead, “It fits me perfectly and you even included my favorite color.”

“I planned a picnic for today but if you would rather stay home and relax all day, I totally get it. Jo and I can go to the park and you can have some peace and quiet,” Spencer offered.

“Are you kidding me? It’s called Mother’s Day, I want to spend some time with the little girl who made me the luckiest one in the entire world,” you smiled.

“Picnic, it is then. I’ll get Jo all dressed and the bag packed. Here, let me take that,” Spencer left the room, balancing Jo on one hip and your tray of dirty dishes on the other.

You were really going to have to bring your all for Father’s Day next month.

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer x reader #reid x reader #cm fanfic #criminal minds

[punkrockgenasiashton]

Critical Role Campaign 1 Episodes 1-24 Recap

So, with the Legends of Vox Machina trailer dropping this morning, I’m sure there’s at least a few people interested in watching the campaign, but are hesitant to watch the first couple of dozen episodes, as they’ve heard horror stories about Orion Acaba’s table etiquette prior from him and CR separating and/or the production value. Well, a while back a friend of mine had the same issues and I was feeling industrious. So, here’s a recap of the first 24 episodes of Critical Role Campaign 1:

Small Key:

Vox Machina=VM=The Party

Vax= Half Elf Rogue

Vex= Half Elf Ranger

Percy= Human Gunslinger

Grog= Goliath Barbarian

Scanlan= Gnome Bard

Keyleth= Half Elf Druid 

Pike= Gnome Cleric

Tiberius= Dragonborn Sorcerer

The adventures of Vox Machina as we know them start in the city of Kraghammer, a city of dwarves in the northwest area of the country of Taldorie beneath the Cliffkeep Mountains. Kraghammer is a pretty reclusive city, wary of non-dwarves, who are disallowed from entering the city except for official business with the Greyspine Quarry, one of the most prolific mines in Exandria (the world), so as they arrive Vox Machina stick out like sore thumbs. Their mission is to find Lady Kima of Vord, a well known paladin and close friend of Allura Visoren, an arcanist the party is close to. Kima had gone missing in the Greyspine Mine beneath Kraghammer. After some investigations, the party learned that a whole mess of 'stitch monsters' have been attacking the mines from deeper beneath, and after killing one (a Naga with 2 extra Naga heads stapled on that Scanlan blows up with cock lightening) with the owner of the Greyspine Mines watching  they were granted access to investigate the mines and beneath proper. 

The party then stumbles through and finds a small goblin camp/city that had been razed and they find goblins that have had their brains sucked out through a round hole in their head. They then meet my personal favorite NPC maybe ever, Clarota, a feral illithid (or Mindflayer) who had been cut off from his hive because of his ability to use magic (huge taboo in Mindflayer society, apparently). They agree to help Clarota and Clarota agrees to help them to defeat the bbeg who has taken up residence in Clarota's city (Yog Voriel), an entity named K'Varn. 

The party then go through a Duargar (Dark Dwarf) War Camp where Vax one shots an illithid using a combination of expert sneaking and goblin shit and they interrogate a duargar general. The General tells them Kima is being held in the City of Emberhold, the duargar stronghold deeper within the Underdark. At the center of the city is Fortress Emberhold, defended by a magma drip that pours magma over the top of it in such a way that the only way in is through the front door or a secret exit on the left side of the fortress. VM finds a way to open said secret exit, and find Kima being tortured in the dungeons. Kima is grateful for the rescue but is immediately wary that they're working with an Illithid. The party then debates whether they should trust the lawful good paladin and best friend of their ally or the chaotic evil feral illithid, but eventually talk Kima into just letting Clarota hang around until they deal with K’varn.

The party then decide to take out the nobles of Emberhold because it’s become clear that the Illithid and Duargar (who historically hate each other) are working together under this K’Varn and anyone who works with them is a threat. During the battle they kill the Durgar King but the Queen charms Grog and escapes, blowing a hole in the ceiling, attempting to burn VM alive in magma. The party just escape, Vax losing most of his foot to the lava. 

Keyleth and Kima have a very serious argument about whether it’s the party’s place at all to be involved down here. Keyleth pointing out that A. they’ve murdered a lot of potentially mind controlled people and lost Grog in their attempts to rescue Kima and B. before they’d entered the Underdark they’d never heard of K’Varn so who are they to be inserting themselves in the conflict? Kima arguing that K’Varn has a power that will allow them to take the surface over and it’s their responsibility to stop them and take that power away from an obviously evil creature. The party eventually agrees with Kima’s argument that even if it wasn’t their place before it is their responsibility to stop K’Varn. 

The party track down the Durgar queen, regain Grog, and while Vex is interrogating the queen the queen’s mind is taken over by K’Varn who taunts the party, inviting them to the temple he has taken residence in,  before killing her. The party then moves further into the underdark, through a sea of bone that tries to eat anyone who touches it, where they do battle with another stitch monster, this time an impossibly fast elf with tentacles for arms and legs. They then finally reach the Illithid city of Yog Voriel, an ancient ruin they’d taken over within a fungal forest surrounded by a giant lake. Investigating the lake the party finds a shipwreck Percy and Tiberius repair and go sailing around the island looking for a potential back entrance to K’Varn’s temple. They find some caves, investigate, get chased by a cloaker (giant bat) on the water. 

They decide to take a rest on the shores to the north of Yog Voriel where Keyleth decides to attempt to scry on K’Varn, to find out where in the temple they are and to finally find out what they are. The scrying reveals that K’Varn is a beholder with a strange horn attached to their head. After some discussion it’s worked out that the horn is one of two “Horns of Orcus.” Orcus is an evil god of undeath, his horns make the holder/wearer a somewhat avatar of Orcus himself, crazy but also incredibly strong with necrotic power. 

The following morning the party sail to the island Yog Voriel is on and find a formorian (an evil giant) and mind control him. Then, after a lot of planning, and a lot of bullshit by Tiberius because Orion metagamed a ton (the party in character had never heard of a beholder but Tiberius openly refused to set foot in the temple because Orion knows that Beholders lairs are dangerous as fuck), the party decides to drop the mind controlled giant from the top of the cavern through the glass ceiling of the temple, destroying a device that kept the Illithid under K’Varn’s power by trapping the Illithid hive’s Elder Brain. 

Fight ensues, Tiberius true to his word doesn’t enter the temple and doesn’t help with the fight at all, Vex gets the final kill on Living K’Varn. During the fight K’Varn used a petrify ray to turn Kima into stone. Then, using the Horn, K’Varn rises as a zombie beholder. Tiberius gets the final kill on Zombie K’Varn. Claorota double crosses the party, and the Illithid attack Vox Machina as they escape using a teleportation circle that takes them back to their home city of Emon.

VM returns to Emon late at night and decides to go on a bar crawl with their stone Kima. (It should be noted here, in case you’re concerned, over the past couple days, using some really high rolls and homebrewing, Pike has been slowly healing/regrowing Vax’s foot and finally finishes doing it after about 5 days in game when they get back to Emon). After some debating the party decides while it’s not necessarily prudent, it’s necessary to inform the rest of the council of Emon as well as Emperor Uriel Taldorei himself about the Horn of Orcus they plucked from the dead K’Varn. After that discussion they unstone Kima. 

Before the meeting starts Emperor Uriel asks a messenger to make sure a Lord and Lady Briarwood are made to know about something trivial. The mention of the Briarwoods sends Percy into what looks like a silent panic attack that everyone else misses.  During the meeting, it’s decided that the Horn is unsafe in Emon and Emon is unsafe as long as it’s there and that it should be brought across the sea to the West to the city of Vasselheim. Vasselheim is basically the Vatican, Mecca, Jerusalem, and Mahabodhi all rolled into one. It is the high religious city of every major good and lawful god in the civilized world, and there, the Horn would be locked away under the eye of the Platinum Sanctuary, the largest and oldest temple to Bahamut in the world and kept safe by Highbearer Vord (The head of Kima’s order of Paladin). 

Following the meeting Percy asks the Emperor about his correspondence with Lord and Lady Briarwood, Percy explaining that the Briarwoods are old friends of his family and asks to be kept updated on the Emperor’s correspondence with them, and that if they’re in the city to please let him know. As Vox Machina are members of the council, this is totally acceptable to the Emperor.

Before the trip, during a few days of downtime, Vax goes on a date with the party’s favorite shop keeper, Shaun Gilmore. This isn’t really important but you should know the name Gilmore because he’s an essential NPC who crops up a lot, and Vax’s relationship with him becomes important later, so it should be known that they have a quasi-dating relationship. (It should also be noted that they’re not really dating and there’s a whole lot of subtext and lowkey stuff that points to the idea that Vax is also interested in Keyleth).

On the way to Vasselheim on a skyship the party is harried by wyvern riding pirates. Keyelth turns a Wyvern into a Chicken using polymorph at 500 feet up, one of the best kills in the show imo. While in Vasselheim, following the sealing of the Horn, Grog has a fight in a fighting pit known as the Crucible, losing just barely to the standing champion, an half orc named Kern. Also while in Vasselhiem, because she’s played by Ashley Johnson and Ashley lives on the east coast most of the year, Pike is called to rebuild a temple to her god, Sarenrae and leaves the party. The city wall closest to them is then attacked by a hydra. Vox Machina goes, hunts down the hydra, and kills it. While fighting it another party comes and claims VM are “scags” taking their contracted kill.

Once the Hydra is dead it is discovered that within Vasselheim there is a hunters guild known as the Slayers Take and the hydra was a quarry of theirs and by killing it without a license VM had broken the laws of Vasselheim and they’re given the choice between either joining the guild and retroactively killing the hydra for the Take or face trial. They choose to join the Take. I highly recommend trudging through Orion during the Trials of the Take episodes because it’s basically a 4 parter where the party is split (so Orion’s only in 2!) and they have a couple of really good guests in. (Including Wil Wheaton, Will Friedel (Eric from Boy Meets World), and Felcia Day.) Following the trial they are introduced to the true leader of the Slayers Take by Huntmaster Vanessa Syndriol of the Take (basically the second in command), a sphynx named Osisa. It’s also revealed that the Take is a quasi-religious order dedicated to Ioun, the Goddess of Knowledge, and Osisa watches the world through a type of Scrying Eye.  

After the Trial of the Take Mini Arc the party takes a trip to the village of Pyrah, a few days travel from Vasselheim and located in a semi-active volcano. To condense a lot of information into a very short bit: Keyleth is a member of a tribe known as “The Ashari,” The Ashari are broken into 4 clans (Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire) and spread throughout the world to defend parts of it where the elemental planes bleed over into the prime material, every generation a member of each clan goes on a pilgramage known as the Aramente to be tested by the other clans to become the headmaster of their clan. Keyleth is Air Ashari and is on her Aramente to become the leader of the Air Ashari because the last person to attempt it, Keyleth’s mother, had never returned, leaving her father as acting headmaster. Pyrah is home to the Fire Ashari, and the party accompanies Keyleth on her trial. They go to the Fire Elemental Plane where they evade an ancient red dragon (foreshadowing for much later, remember this dragon) that would have decimated the party, and then fight the headmaster of the Fire Ashari, Cerkonos, and 3 other fire ashari while the ashari and Cerkonos are beast shaped into fire elementals. 

Following that Grog has a rematch with Kern, beats him, and the party returns to Emon where they are informed the Briarwoods will becoming to Emon for a feast with the Emperor and because of Percy’s request and the party’s standing as council members they are given an invite. Once the party returns to their own keep, known as Greyskull Keep, Percy reveals that the Briarwoods murdered his entire family and took over his ancestral home of Whitestone, and the reason he is Lord Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Kollowski De Rolo III is because he is the rightful Lord of Whitestone. 

Again, even though Orion is in them I really recommend watching Episodes 24-26 because 24 and 25 are very plot important and 26 is just hysterical, skip episode 27 (Orion’s last episode and generally considered by many a very uncomfortable watch due to Orion making a very off color comment about Laura (Vex) giving him (Tiberius) a boner and Travis (Laura’s IRL husband) being livid about it) and then watch from episode 28 onward and you’re right near the start of what’s lauded as the best arc of the series.

#Critical Role #cr campaign 1 #cr campaign 1 recap #Idk #I jut had fun writing this #so I thought I'd share it again.

[sepdet]

i go to bmc and happening upon your reblog about using the bi-co's VAX for fanfiction/rp was a hilarious surprise

Hello my dear! Yes, I tagged that hoping to amuse some sister Mawrtyrs across the miles.

The delightful thing is that back then, since fandom often formed in small local groups much like regional bitnets and usenet groups, many homegrown, unique forms of proto-fanfic-before-we-had-a-term-for-it could develop.

In our case, since of course the nerds of Bryn Mawr would be the ones keeping the VAX running, someone had set up a BBS on the VAX's system called Starbucket. As you can guess from the name, it was somewhat tongue in cheek. Individual posts were individual chapters of stories — one had to seek membership to be allowed to post — and then members could comment.

Your main character of your own stories was a self-insert OC Time Lord from Doctor Who. Your traveling companions could be any character who had died in their own timeline, so that if you took them away they wouldn't be missed. (This rule was sometimes bent, because the members of Queen were beloved.) And then, since you had a time machine, you could travel to any multiverse— crossovers ahoy! And a lot of parodies. Companions ranged from Kerr Avon of Blake's 7 to Wolfriders from Elfquest to Roy Fokker from Robotech. Mine were Cally from Blake's 7 and Kassandra of Troy.

You were allowed to write other people's characters, since BBS members mostly knew each other, and it was kind of like gift fic to give each other's characters adventures. (Or killed them off in dramatic ways, because screw continuity. The best story ever was Phantom of the Starbucket, in which the Phantom — this was when the broadway musical first hit — was bumping off everyone's characters, each in a poetically appropriate/hilarious way. I assume Freddie Mercury was the angel of music, although I can't remember now.)

I realized later that Starbucket had originally been set up as a text version of the 80s Doctor Who tabletop rpg in which everyone plays a member of the Celestial Intervention Agency. (In universe, Starbucket was a CIA space station home base where all our TARDISes docked.) But by the time I joined the bbs, the original mission had largely been forgotten, and a lot of stories were crossover contrivances to bring about various characters "boinking" one another. Ah, the quaint days of euphemism-rated fanfic.

Yeah. Anyway. Typical college humor. Good times. Sorry to go off in Anecdote Mode, except not sorry. I hope you're having a wonderful time and finding great nerd friends to offset the stress of academics and *waves had at current events.* Drink deep of Bryn Mawr, because it's marvelous, but you don't need ME to tell you that. Dapper cosplay, by the way!

And if you should happen down that staircase descending into the Dungeon basement of Pembroke East (it's not that exciting, it's just that groups of friends used to be able to bid on undesirable blocks of rooms), the little plaque on the windowsill halfway down proclaiming it the domain of the "Rampaging Anarchist Horde, Renaissance Faire, and Floating Tea Party" commemorates my merry band. Rumors of a sex dungeon or satanic cult were greatly exaggerated. The only naughty thing we were doing down there, apart from the inevitable shacking up after a couple of us figured out we were queer, was keeping a flagrant violation of the housing code. His name was Vasdru, and he was a very sweet cat.

#bryn mawr college #insert another quarter to make the old fan spout more rambling anecdotes that probably amuse herself and her peers more rhan you

[peach-the-owl]

I think I something you might going to like. 84 but with a twist. Reader is a sorcerer and a friend of Vox Machina, the last time they seen them was battle Mind Flayer thus sacrificed themselves to froze the gate to other dimensions and stop Mind Flayer. Only see Vox Machina one final look before froze themselves. Not until Mighty Nein broke the frozen sorcerer. Only hear familiar voices, once they open their eyes they realize it's not Vox Machina, but the group who saved them.

Kinda like Avatar The Last Airbender when Aang frozen in time. Hope this is too much for you.

Some friendships transcend lifetimes… I love The Last Airbender it’s such a good show, and I’ve defiantly watched it over a dozen times, but anyways onto the story

I know I’ve called stories long before but like I thing this one takes the cake so far… here’s hoping it’s a good one

Lost Time

Vox Machina/Mighty Nein & Sorcerer!Reader (Platonic)

84- Who are you?

Spells flew left and right as you and the rest of Vox Machina faced off against a rather troublesome Mind Flayer, your ultimate goal was to destroy the gateway this aberration had opened and stop any beasts from coming through from other dimensions. Having silver dragon blood running through your veins meant you specialized in ice magic, being able to freeze just about anything with enough time and effort put in. With the rest of the team keeping the Mind Flayer distracted while you tried to use your magic to freeze and shatter the gateway, but the problem was this gate was enormous. The Mind Flayer had caught on to what was happening and attacks you causing you to lose concentration on your task, thankfully you’d managed to deal enough damage to shatter the base of the gateway causing it to crumble to the ground, falling on the Mind Flayer effectively killing it. For a moment it looked like you’d won but as the dust settled some you see the portal was still open and extremely unstable, energy crackling every which way the cavern starting to collapse around you.

"We can’t stay here the whole place is coming down on top of us." Percy calls for a retreat.

"It didn’t close, we broke it but it didn’t close!" Grog shouts still in a rage. You look over at all of them then over at the portal, you knew what had to be done so with a shaky breath you start towards the broken gateway.

"(Y/n) what are you doing? We need to leave!" Vax calls for you with a panicked tone.

"If I don’t seal this thing, it could mean more trouble then even we could handle." You continue forward against the groups protests getting close enough in range to start using your magic to freeze the opening before anymore energy can release itself. The room grew drastically colder, frost appearing along the walls as you pushed yourself past your limits.

"We can’t just leave you here!" Pike cries.

"You have to, if you don’t you’ll be buried here as well!" You yell, urging them to go without you.

"But-"

"Just go!" You scream at them, by now you could feel the cold of your magic effecting your own body. With looks of sorrow you watch as they all make their way to the exit, Keyleth looks back and calls your name one more time before being dragged off by the others. "It'll be okay." You whisper to yourself, a single tear sliding down your cheek as the gateway lets loose a pulse of energy and you unleash all your magic at once to conceal it, making your vision go white…

Everything felt cold, shadows were moved around in front of you. Were you dead? You thought you might be but then you start hearing faint voices, albeit muffled hit your ears.

"… see that?" It kinda sounded like Vex but you don’t remember her having such a high pitched, bubbly voice.

"It… dangerous." That sounded like Keyleth except much deeper and gravely.

"Wait, I think… in there." Since when did Grog become so soft spoken and educated?

"Maybe… use fire… see what’s inside." You defiantly don’t remember Scanlan sounding so shrill before.

"… not a… perhaps… could be dead." Now when did Vax get such an odd accent?

"… they're alive. We need…" Percy also sounded much calmer and relaxed then you were used to. What was going on, and why did everyone sound so different? A glowing light shines through bringing a warm feeling with it, there’s a cracking sound followed by shattering as you fall to the ground, you figured Pike must’ve used some sorta healing or restoration spell to free you. After a slight pause you gasp in actual air for the first time in you weren’t sure how long, and look up at the people in front of you. Your vision was still a little blurry trying to adjust to your surroundings and for a brief moment you thought you were staring at your friends, but when you rub your eyes to clear them you see before you a group of complete strangers making you jump back in surprise.

"Who are you?" Your voice comes out chattering both from fear and from the cold that still lingered in your body.

"Could ask you the same question." The woman who looked to be a monk shoots back.

"Well I asked first." You rebuttal attempting to stand, your legs were still shaky causing you to trip only to be caught by the firbolg on one arm and the tiefling on the other.

"Hi! I’m Jester!" The tiefling says cheerfully, holding her hand out for you to shake.

"Uhh… pleasure to meet you." You greet slowly accepting the hand shake, you then look to your other side at the firbolg.

"Hi, I’m Caduceus, how are you?" He introduces himself.

"I’m doing quite alright, thank you." You then look to the others in the group.

"Hi I’m Nott, just Nott." The goblin gives an awkward little wave, you wave back.

"Name's Fjord." There was a minor shift in his voice that made him sound more western, but only for a moment. You just nod your head in acknowledgment.

"My name's Caleb Widogast." The red head says rather stiffly, you could easily tell he was a wizard due to the large spell book stripped to his persons.

"Beauregard." The monk woman simply says.

"It’s very nice to meet you all. My name's (y/n)." You finally introduce yourself, now feeling a little more comfortable around them. "You have my thanks for freeing me of my icy prison."

"How did you end up in there anyways?" Jester asks. You explain to them everything you could clearly recall from your adventure before somehow placing yourself into some kind of frozen stasis.

"You know, now that I’ve had a better look…" You trail off slightly, taking in your surroundings once more. "This looks nothing like the cavern I sealed myself in. Where exactly are we?"

"You're in the Happy Fun Ball!" Jester happily states, you give her a confused look.

"That’s only a nickname." Caleb quickly jumps in, giving you a quick explanation of the object you were inside.

"How strange, maybe the last pulse of energy from the gateway sent me here along with most of the ruins." You look over at the broken and thankfully inactive gate that was in shambles, defiantly no way to activate that thing anymore.

"So if I may ask, why go through the trouble of coming here a second time? I mean, you know how dangerous it was the first." You question.

"Well we're looking for someone, that wasn’t you, and hopefully find a way to stop this cult for something called the Angel of Irons." Fjord gave an explanation this time. You let out a large sigh, this was a lot of new information to take in such a short time.

"That’s interesting." You say absentmindedly, still taking in this new situation you were suddenly in. You shake your head a bit and look to the group. "Well, if you need any help I'll happily oblige, it’s the least I could do for freeing me."

"Why that’s very generous of you, honestly we could probably use all the help we can get." Caduceus gives you a kind smile.

"Of course, just tell me everything I need to know about your situation." With that they all started to explain everything that’s been happening, it being a little hard to follow along sometimes with them talking over each other but you get the picture eventually. "So your friend, Yasha right? She’s under this Obann's control and they also have a creature called the Laughing Hand at their disposal. Now your here looking for the wizard Yussa because he’s been missing in here for 3 weeks and time is really strange here too, did I get all that?" You question.

"That’s the basics of it." Nott says with nod.

"Looks like we got our work cut out for us. Especially with the strange time here." You place a finger under your chin in slight thought, you had a lot of questions running through your head but had to put them aside for now, there were more pressing matters to deal with first. Finally having regained enough strength to stand on your own you set off with this new group of adventurers…

Taking down the Permaheart had been no easy feat but with Beau downing it and yours and Caleb’s combined spells it was finally reduced to frozen ashes and you’d finally located Yussa, amongst other things that happened and were ready to leave this place once and for all. Throughout all this, as helpful as you were you could tell this group still didn’t fully trust you, whispering amongst each other and defiantly not telling you everything. Who were you to blame them though, they were as much of strangers to you as you were to them, even if they did save you, so you figured it best to just keep a slight distance when they talked quietly with each other, and if you were being honest you were exhausted. Having been frozen for who knows how long didn’t cancel out the effect of having used a lot of magic, plus the magic you used to help fight off the creatures and creations that lurked in this sphere. You located the exit and the second you all arrived inside of Yussa's tower you fell to your knees panting.

"Whoa, hey are you alright?" Fjord comes over to you and helps support your weight so you could still stand.

"Sorry, I’m just a little tired is all, I suppose after everything I still haven’t fully recovered from my icy sleep." As if to exaggerate your point you let out a yawn and start leaning your full weight into the half-orc.

"Do you think it would be alright if we left (y/n) here for the time being." Caleb asks Yussa who in turn looks over at your exhausted form.

"I juss need some proper rest, I’ll be out of yer hair and rejoin with them once I dooo." You slur through your words slightly.

"Very well." He says with a soft sigh, then turns to his assistant to get a room prepared for you. When your brought in you immediately collapse on the little makeshift bed and pass out, getting some much needed rest. You awaken feeling much more refreshed and walk your way up the tower to where you hoped to find Yussa, when you enter the room you see the mage as well as the Mighty Nein and a very familiar face who stared back at you with as much of a shocked look as your own.

"Allura?" You ask almost nervously, she looked much older then when you’d last seen her. You see her eyes gloss over a little as she holds back tears.

"(Y/n)?" There’s a slight silence that fills the room before the two of you embrace each other. "I was told you sacrificed yourself to save our everyone, we all thought you were dead!" Allura practically cries, breaking away from the formal appearance she’d put on in front of everyone until now.

"I thought I was as good as dead too, but these folks here saved me, pulled me out of my frozen tomb." You say gesturing towards the Nein.

"Wait wait wait, you two know each other?" Nott looks between the two of you confused.

"Of course we do, we're friends." You simply reply.

"You haven’t changed a bit." Allura says looking you over.

"And you…" You pause slightly. "You’ve certainly gotten wiser." Allura just gives you a look that says "yes, I know I’m old". After your little reunion you refocus your attention on the task at hand, collecting information on this Angel of Irons and learning that it was in fact the Chained Oblivion, Tharizdun. You listen intently to everything being said to get a better understanding of what was going on and the more you learned the more serious and dangerous the situation grew.

"I believe it best I return to Tal'Dorei and inform the council, will you be joining me?" Allura looks over to you for confirmation.

"As much as I’d love to go home, I promised these fine people I’d help them. It’s the least I could do for what they’ve done for me." You give your friend a smile, she returns it with a worried look then sighs and nods.

"Alright, just please be careful and don’t disappear again, I don’t know how I’d handle the knowledge of seeing you alive only to learn you’ve really died this time." She places a firm yet gently grip on your shoulders, you place your hands on top of hers and give them a reassuring squeeze.

"I can’t make any big promises here but I’ll do my best. Until then it may be best if you keep my status a secret to everyone, alright? You’ll even be the first person I visit once this is all over." You look her in the eyes and slowly release your grip, once again she nods as she slowly moves her hands back to her side and teleports out of the tower.

"Aww man, I wanted to know who was on this council she mentioned." Nott looks down disappointed.

"Me too." Jester pouts. "Unless you know!" The two of them give you expectant looks making you take a step away from them.

"I can’t say I’d know for sure, a lot is different now then what I remember." You hold up your hands in defence.

After getting everything sorted out, you left Yussa's tower thinking as long as you stay with this group you should be fine. Then they split up, the girls in one direction and the boys in the other which threw you for a loop but you were able to sort yourself out and enjoy a more casual rest of the day getting to better know some of the others. The following days weren’t as you’d expect however especially when you were shopping around a little shop know as the Invulnerable Vagrant, it was no Gilmore's Glorious Goods but it still nice and you had to admit the shopkeeper, Pumat, was a charming firbolg in his own right. What was really unexpected though was the surprise attack by the Inevitable End, dealing with them was tricky when they could phase through the floor but you managed to drive them off and check in on what was happening with Yasha. Your next stop was a visit with a sorta mafia? You were really starting to question the group's moral compass, sure you have done crazy things in the past too but the Nein seemed to find a way to make things even weirder, you decided to stay out of most of it when they told you the only way to get in was to share your blood. Meeting up the next day you made your way back to Pumat's shop, being both shocked a relieved when he decided to join and help the party on this fast approaching mission…

Never in your life had you thought that the steps to a cathedral of Pelor would feel so menacing and filled with unease and yet here you were. The battle was intense, rifts opening and bringing forth creatures of the abyss, Yasha and the Laughing Hand were proving to be tough opponents and everything seemed to be going downhill. With sights set on the mind-controlled barbarian you weighed your options, you couldnt be reckless with your spells seeing as Beau had fallen unconscious so an AoE spell might end up killing her, you settle for using a Ray of Frost spell seeing as your silver dragon blood made it stronger. It works, distracting Yasha away from Beau and giving Caduceus the opportunity to dispel the control over her and spare Beau from deaths grip. With that taken care of you switch your focus to an oddly familiar situation, going to close the rifts and stopping the creatures coming through, however this time it wasn’t a large gateway at least. You were very focused on your task you didn’t notice Obann escape to the deeper chambers of the cathedral until you heard one of the Nein call to you.

"Obann's escaping we need to move!" Caleb calls, you look back and forth between them and the creatures still coming through a few of the remaining rifts, Pumat was still dealing with the the creatures as well and by the looks of things, despite his word of reassurance, he was already having a difficult time.

"You go on ahead, I’ll stay back here and help fend these creatures off!" You call back.

"Are you-"

"Just go!" You shout at them feeling a strong sense of déjà vu. You shake off the feelings, this wasn’t going to end like last time. The Nein disappear after the devil and with Pumat to aid you the two of you worked to close the few rifts and finish off the remaining cultists and creatures. It had been a long and strenuous battle but you’d done it and you were still alive, you rest yourself against one of the supporting pillars to catch your breath. After a long pause that feels like hours had passed, you feel a feathery touch against your shoulder, looking over at Caduceus who uses a quick Cure Wounds on you, Fjord also makes his way over.

"We want to thank you for everything, we may not have managed as well as we had if not for you." Fjord thanks, handing you a healing potion.

"I suppose that makes us even then." You comment with a cheeky smile happily accepting the potion and putting it to use right away.

"You know, I feel we could really use someone like you on the team, if you’re interested that is." Caduceus offers.

"I appreciate the offer, and though in reality it has been a long time since my last adventure, it still feels like it was only a short time ago to me. I really miss home, and am in dire need for a break, but if you do ever require my assistance in the future I will happily lend my aid to you again. For now I just wish to go home and familiarize myself with the changes that've taken place." You decline the offer as politely as you can, he gives you a nod of understanding. With that you get up, bid them farewell and exit the cathedral, making your way towards an area that’s out of the way before getting to work on a Teleportation Circle, as you're setting it up you think back to your time with this crazy group of adventurers, and while it was short they still made you feel welcome in their own strange ways. In some ways they reminded you of your time with Vox Machina, perhaps that’s why you were able to work with them and come to form a trust with them as quickly as you did, who knew. You finish the last symbol for your spell and the portal opens to the familiar view from inside Allura's tower, it was time to go home so with a deep breath you step through the portal.

Bonus (2 for 1 story):

Reunion

"Are you alright? You're looking quite nervous." Allura asks with slight worry as you walk through the halls of Greyskull Keep.

"I haven’t been home in so long and so much has changed, I just don’t know what to expect or how they’ll react." You admit. She places a hand on your shoulder and gives you a reassuring smile.

"Trust me I don’t think they’ll be expecting this either." You walk up to a set of large double doors.

"And from everything you told me…" You trail off a bit.

"There’s more I missed, but I’m sure they’ll be more then happy to fill you in."

"Okay…" You take a breath and reach for the knob only to pause again. "Why don’t you go in first, and I’ll follow your lead." Allura just gives a soft chuckle and nod before opening the door and heading in. You step back and try to catch your breath wondering why you still felt so nervous. You had to wonder if this was even worth it, a lot had happened and changed since you’d been gone and there was a lingering doubt that your friends might not even care anymore.

"Come in and say hello." You hear Allura's voice muffled through the door. Moment of truth, you steel your nerves and make your way through the door. When you enter you have a look around the room seeing all eyes on you, at first their expressions were blank or shocked so you decide to lighten the mood and give a small smile.

"Hello everyone, it’s been awhile." You say in almost a whisper, already feeling the tears well up in your eyes. The next thing you know your tackled into a hug by a sobbing Keyleth.

"You’re not dead! You’re not dead!" Is all you hear her say through her sobbing. You now return the hug having been able to stabilize yourself and comfort the Archdruid.

"I missed you too Kiki. I’ve missed all of you." You release one arm from her seeing as she wasn't going to let go of you just yet, and feel a slight pressure rest on your shoulder once you do. Craning your neck over you see a raven perched itself on you, you raise your hand and give him a little scratch under his beak as he leans into the touch. You look to the others seeing Vex approach.

"My word darling, you haven’t aged a day since we last saw you. What’s your secret?" She tries to add some minor humour to the situation but you could tell she was holding back some tears, being just as overjoyed as Keyleth.

"Just freeze yourself for a good 20 years or so and it’ll shave off those wrinkles in no time." You lightly chuckle, using your free arm now to offer her a hug. She accepts giving a much shorter side hug to you while the others finally came to their senses and start bombarding you with questions. You do the best you can to answer all of them as well as properly greeting everyone again and exchanging welcoming hugs from them, being lifted off the ground when Grog brought you into an almost bone crushing grip. "As much as I missed you too, I’m still fragile." You wheeze at the goliath.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just been so long." He says, trying and failing to hold back his emotions.

"Right, which reminds me, you must have stories to tell me. I’d love to hear what you’ve all done over the years."

"Oh man, where do we begin? There’s so much to tell." Pike ponders aloud.

"How about we start with what happened after my… departure." You suggest, ready for the day to be filled with stories of their adventures and exploits.

#critical role #critical role & reader #vox machina #vox machina & reader #mighty nein #the mighty nein #mighty nein & reader #nothing romantic here

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

#questions #throwback #is this a get to know me #idk